A Birthday Story

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. . . . . Countries can have birthdays, just like people. With people, birthdays begin when they're born. That's it. But our country's birthday began when we were unborn, from our mother country Britain. It was the day our country said, we belong to no one but ourselves. This was our Declaration of Independence, and it was July 4, 1776. . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . had just won a war with the French and the Indians and it was expensive. The king wanted to keep his red coats in the colonies and that was expensive.

Though King George needed money. What are all those elves? The British car dollars pounds. King George said to his friends in Britain, I have an idea. We will tax those colonists in America. Good, cried his friends. Let us tax them for all printed things. Then put stamps on them. King George continued. We will tax them for news papers and playing cards. We shall call it the Stamp Act. Back in America, the colonists heard of the king's idea. Well, they said, George may call it whatever he likes. It is still a tax. Let the king make his move. We will play our race. This was their race. They refused to pay the tax. When the tax officers tried to make the colonists pay, those officers were tired and feathered. Here lies King George's revenue. Here stamps died of too much glue.

Said King George. It is clear that the colonists didn't care for my stamps, but surely they'll buy tea from us. Especially if we charge less than the American merchants and still make a tidy profit. So King George sent three ships loaded with tea to Boston Harbor. There, a colonial tea merchant took one look and said, if I have people buy tea from the British, I'll become so poor I can't afford a rope to hang myself with. One night, dark as a pocket. Some Boston men put Indian paint on their faces. Step feathers in their hair and call it a Mohawk raid. The clever board, British ships, opened the boxes of tea and dumped it into the harbor. It was known as the Boston Tea Party. Which means that even tea parties can be good if you don't invite the girls. Which means if you don't invite the girls to your party, you'll get into trouble. Boston was in trouble.

When King George heard about his tea, he was so mad he had to count to ten. He called for one of his generals and said, Boston's ears should be boxed. Go there, let no ships come in. Let no Boston fishing boats go out. The general did as he was told. Bostonians couldn't fish without their boats. Their stomachs were beginning to grow. Well, the American colonists were growling about the closing of Boston. So they called for a big meeting in Philadelphia. It was called the first Continental Congress. Samuel Adams was there. The British thought he was a troublemaker. Probably because they knew Adams was behind at Boston Tea Party. Patrick Henry was there. People said he was the laziest reader in the colonies. But Henry could speak well and he said, Give me liberty or give me death. George Washington was there. He said,

The best way to keep the peace is to prepare for war. The colonists did. Also, they sent a message to King George which said, Your laws stink. And everybody went home. In Boston, a British general called his red coats together and said, In the town of Lexington, there are two troublemakers. One is Sam Adams, who I think had something to do with the Boston Tea Party. The other is John Hancock. He writes ugly things about us. Low his handwriting is nice. Catch them and put them in jail. The red coats headed for Lexington. Someone had to warn Sam Adams and John Hancock. Guess who did? I'll read here. Right. He leaped on his horse and raced the 20 miles to Lexington. All along the way he shouted. The red coats are coming. Paul Revere found Adams and Hancock about midnight. He said, The red coats are coming.

He said that a lot. He was a man a few words besides he was tired. So the two troublemakers went to Philadelphia, which was a good place to hide. The red coats reached Lexington at dawn. They were met by armed colonists. They were called Minutemen because they were ready to fight in a minute's notice. A shot rang out. Bang. It was heard round the world after a brief battle. The Minutemen retreated. All right, said the British commander. Those two troublemakers have left town. But while we're in the neighborhood, let us go to Concord. The colonists have some weapons stored there. But when the red coats got to Concord, they couldn't find even a hard-tacked biscuit, much less guns and powder. So the British started their walk back to Boston. Behind every rock fence in Woodpile was an angry Minuteman. They were also sharpshooters. The red coats started dropping like flies.

So the British ran the rest of the way. The word of Lexington and Concord spread. The revolutionary war had begun. After several battles, it was time for the American colonists to have another Philadelphia meeting. They called it the Second Continental Congress. We need an army, cried the Congress, and we need someone to lead our army. We want someone loyal and trustworthy. A man who is brave, courteous, and reverent. But a man who is a wicked fighter. A man called John Adams shouted, what we need is a mean boy scout. And we need look no farther than George Washington. Washington would have made eagle, I bet. Except scouting wasn't invented yet. I would be happy to lead our army, said Washington. But I will accept no pay for my services. That was nice of him. It was settled. George Washington was commander in chief of the Continental Army. He assumed command of the American troops near Boston.

George Washington took one gander at his army and said, good heavens. It was true. The soldiers were a ragtag bunch of garments. Some were teenagers. Others crossed the old men. For uniforms? Just about any old thing, the cat dug in. They brought along their old hunting guns. Some were blunderbuses that were old when Columbus landed. They were ugly, but they were veteran fighters from the French and Indian war. Some could shoot out a squirrel's eye at a thousand paces. Looks as not everything, said General Washington. All they need is some hard training, some decent uniforms, and a flag. That British flag, which they call the Union Jack, is gotta go. You'll have no flag.

Yank, you doodle, dandy. Where all those records now they must be eaten candy. He didn't candy. That was probably an exaggeration. Okay. So what did George Washington do then? He thought of stripes of red and white. His corncard just a puff and one strike for each colony. Then George, I took his stuff in. Did they eat all the time? No, sometimes they smoke to pipe. He put seven red strikes across and six white interlinking. Gink and upper left are Union Jack. Hmm. Oh, what did you do more thinking? They called it the Great Union flag. Some folks thought it right pretty. But that old jack-o-part aren't like it looked more like spaghetti. Yank, you doodle, keep it up.

Yank, you doodle, dandy. Mind the music and the step them with the girls be handy. It's spaghetti. They're talking about food again. So General Washington had a flag. A sort of. But many Americans were raising cane about that Union Jack on their flag. So George Washington wanted to design another American flag. And he said, Miss Betsy opens up the door. You just were not expecting. How do you do Miss Betsy Ross? I hope it's not infected. It's all right.

She put a band-aid on it. Then the two of them, Betsy Ross and George Washington, discussed that all American flag. Then he said, 13 stars and 13 stripes, I think, would be auspicious. 13 stars and 13 stripes, he wasn't superstitious. George Washington had come first star, six pointed stars of shining. 13 up on a field of blue, but Betsy was designing. Betsy Ross said, off your star, 6 points you did can drive. So where are six points are very nice. I think I'll make them faster. She, she did. But did George Washington like it? Did he? By George five points are fine, Miss Ross. Oh, there would I offend you. But sir, I wouldn't say by George.

King George is barely friendly. General Washington looked at her. You're quite a woman, Mrs. Ross, he said. A woman I am said, Betsy. And since I am a woman, I have a number of changes in mind. Since I am a gentleman said the general, I will listen to you. Betsy declared, you said your flag should be square. I'd like to make it wider. So it flutters nicely in the breeze. I'll think about it, said Washington. The stripes you designed I can live with, said Betsy. Now what about the stars? They should be arranged in just such a way. But I'm not sure how. What to do, my mind goes round my head is such a miracle. Did you say round my general? Hmm, that's why they're in a circle. Yankee Doodle had a flag. Yankee Doodle banding.

Where all those records now. I guess they're drinking brandy. Is that really how we got our flag? That was probably an exaggeration. It's all right. They came up with the most beautiful flag in the world. George Washington went back and trained his Continental Army. He ran them in the morning. He ran them in the evening. In time he said to his troops, you are ready. Meanwhile, that second Continental Congress was still working like bees in a honeysuckle patch. One delicate said, I'm tired of being ruled by an island a thousand miles away, maybe farther. Let us write our Declaration of Independence. We'll form a committee. All congresses like committees. Five men were selected. There was Thomas Jefferson.

He was a quiet, freckleface for genial lawyer. Jefferson wasn't a good talker, but he could do just about anything. There was Benjamin Franklin, who could and already had done everything. He was kind of old, but acted young and said funny things. The third was John Adams. He was the one who wanted George Washington to run the Army. Adams was a bullheaded mean-tempered Yankee and an American patriot. The other two men were Roger Sherman and Robert R. Livingston. So the committee members put their heads together about writing the Declaration of Independence. One said to Ben Franklin, this is a serious business. If you write it, you'll put a joke in it. I say it's either Adams or Jefferson. Well, each man politely suggested that the other should write it. Then John Adams said, hogwash, young Thomas Jefferson can write ten times better than I.

Everyone agreed except Jefferson, but he did it. He wrote furiously for several days. Then he presented it to Congress. What Jefferson's Declaration said was this. Here's why we colonies want independence. Here's what our government believes in. Here are the nasty things you British did to us. And we colonies are now free, whether King George likes it or not. There was debating. All Congresses liked to debate. After a vote, the Declaration of Independence was approved. The president of the Congress, old John Hancock, grabbed his quill pin, dipped it into a silver ink well, and signed the document. He said, I am writing my name in extra large letters, so King George can read it without his glasses. I don't care for the British. Even if they do like my handwriting. It was July 4, 1776. There was cheering on the mall in front of Independence Hall.

Church bells rang, cannons boomed. It was the birth of a great new nation, the United States of America. It was the only country like it, and it still is. The colonial delegates had signed the declaration that said, we are free. But King George said, no. You belong to me, and my red coats back me up. So the fighting continued. Washington's army had a run in with a British on Long Island, New York. The Americans fought like Wildcats, but had to retreat into New Jersey. The British general, named Hal, chased Washington like a blue tickhound on a possum scent. General Hal had a couple of chances to catch the Americans, but every time he got close, a long chemical spell. Old Hal was a fair to middle and general. It was just that fighting in the wintertime that wasn't his cup of tea. So while Hal was warming his feet,

the continental army escaped by crossing the Delaware River. And Washington took every boat with him. The British general finally reached the river and saw the boats on the far bank. One of his eager lieutenants said, our red coats could swim across, sir. All lieutenants are eager. No, said the general Hal. The water is rather chilly, and I do not fight when cold, or wet for that matter. I think I shall settle down in comfortable winter quarters in New York City. And that's what he did. That winter, while General Hal hibernated in New York, George Washington was busy as a beaver with a broken dam. There is an enemy camp in Trenton, New Jersey, said Washington to his officers. The soldiers are not British. They are Hessians. I know them, said a colonel. They are Germans that King George hired. These Hessians come from Hesse, Germany. Yes, said it general.

They are good fighters, but they do not much care who wins the war. It could be because the king pays them only 25 cents per day. It was Christmas Eve night. Washington then spoke to his troops. Gentlemen, we are going to give the Hessians a surprise Christmas party. We will cross that icy river and march nine miles to Trenton. The snow will muffle our footsteps, and the wind should cover our cannon movements. But since this will be a surprise, there will be no talking or smoking. They put his corn cob pipe in his pocket. He had stopped smoking when he heard it was a bad form. All was quiet when the Americans reached Crinton that early Christmas morning. In fact, they found only one man. He was chopping wood. Washington approached the woodsman and said, Merry Christmas. The man put down his axe and replied, Bitter. He is a Hessian, so I'm a speaking German.

Voice theater. Ach, ala, ish, laughing. Visancing each the Christmas oven guest in Byron. Washington said, Yah, Ich, das, visa. Ich, verstere, das, flon, das, Christmas. Tried in heaven. Duzain, verdas, gavasen. Then the general smile and said, Vundarbar. Ich, vinn, Gladish, to Froyndon, the Fest oven-garen. Yitz, ece, das, mild, fewer, unsurfest. And the Americans did celebrate by capturing the entire camp of 1,000 sleepy Hessians. The wood chopper and many of his friends joined the Americans. Washington scattered the others in Pennsylvania. Are there German families in Pennsylvania today? Yes, and they have good high school football teams. The Continental Army found out they could pretty well hold their own against the red coats, but they hadn't reckoned on the bitter winter of 1777.

British General Howe had hibernated one winter in New York for the winter of 77. He was snug as a bug in a rug in Philadelphia. Just 20 miles away, General Washington and his army made winter quarters at Valley Forge. The British danced at Philadelphia fancy balls. Washington's men were miserable. They lived and drafted lean to huts. No protection from the chilling winds. The Americans were starving. Many died. George Washington shivered and suffered along with his men. The general was more concerned about his soldiers than his own comfort. He prayed for his troops. For the Americans, this was their darkest hour. The sun peeped out. Snow began to melt. It was spring. Washington's frost-bitten tattered army had survived. For not giving up, America found a new and powerful friend.

Friends, King Louis XVI was now convinced that the Americans could win. Was this king a ruffian like George? I guess his people thought so. Later on, they chopped off his head. The man who went to Paris France to help convince the king was all Ben Franklin. King Louis told Franklin, is I am not overly fond of King George. I will make a treaty with you Americans. I will recognize your independence. Ben Franklin said, that is most generous your highness. Understand your feelings about your enemy King George, especially since he stole Canada from your grandfather. Now that you mentioned that, growling King Louis, I will also give you several thousand soldiers and some warships, at least a fleet or two. Canada murmured Franklin, and some money rode the king. Thanks for looking up for the Americans. They still had a long road to home. A good deal of the fighting in the War of Independence

took place on the sea. One of our naval captains was John Paul Jones. His ship was named Banam Rishard. Jones had named it after Ben Franklin's poor Richard's almanac. Banam Rishard was old, but slow. In short, it was a leaky old turn. But John Paul Jones was a good sailor, and though his ship's guns were rusty, he'd captured many sea prizes. Late one afternoon, he was sailing near Scotland, looking for enemy ships to pester. Ahoy, cried the lookout. I sight forty British merchant ships, and one mean-looking warship. Jones took out his spyglass. She does look mean, but I am meaner. I count fifty guns, which means they have twelve more than I. I like the odds. The British ship was named Seruppus, who command a sailed within hailing distance and chouted. What leaky old tub is that? Cry Jones? It may not be pretty, but it's mine.

You strutting pompous peacock. John Paul Jones, being a sailor, could use salty language. The British are cried out. Identify yourself immediately, or I shall be under the necessity of firing into you. John Paul Jones said this. Fire. In fact, they both fired at the same time. The cannon war was deafening. For hours the two warships slammed one another without mercy. A sailor cried to Jones. We've been hits several times. Replied Jones? Well, I know my ship was never very pretty. However, I see that our fancy enemy is so full of holes she's beginning to look like a Swiss cheese. The furious battle raged into the night. Then with a mighty broadside fuselage, Seruppus crippled one armory shards. The captain of the British ship shouted. You are finished. I demand your surrender. Jones's response was famous. He cried. I have not yet begun to fight.

And he said some other things that are best forgotten. Then the first mate said to Captain Jones. Sir, we're in trouble. One we can no longer fire. Two we are sinking. Oh, all right. Said John Paul Jones. Then he thought. Those British have been calling me a pirate for years. So that is the game we shall play. But on Rishard, ran the Seruppus with an ear splitting crash. Then Jones lashed the two warships together in the pirate fashion. That way, Jones's warship could float as long as the Seruppus floated. Jones shouted to his crew. Climb the rigon's you lice-ridden, scurry-fested, drags of inhumanity. Jones's way of showing his affection was calling his crew ugly names. Jones yelled. Toss bombs on their deck. The men did. One bomb exploded a barrel of gunpowder. The Seruppus' main mass collapsed. Fire raged on both ships. But had enough cried the British commander.

Captain Jones and his crew's criminal board the Seruppus. The ropes holding the ships together were cut. But on Rishard's sank like a rock. I will miss my ship, said Jones, even though it was never pretty. The British commander came up to John Paul Jones. He handed over the Union Jack. On sea, this mint surrender. I must admit, said the British. I've never seen such a fighter as you. And by the way, I never thought you were a pirate. I appreciate that, said Jones. And I take back what I said about you being a peacock. You're more like a war eagle. After that victory, Captain John Paul Jones was forever an American hero. Up north, there was George Washington keeping a close eye on New York City. A messenger appeared. Sir? Said the lad to Washington, a general name. The Cornwallis is camping at Yorktown. Also, your allies the French have sent lots of ships to keep Cornwallis big.

Washington thanked the messenger and called in his officers. Gentlemen, said the general. Cornwallis is in Yorktown, and Yorktown is a mouse trap. We are off to Virginia. We will catch Cornwallis in his mouse trap. Yes, sir, cried several lieutenants. So, General Washington galloped off to Yorktown, wondering why all lieutenants were eager. Back at Yorktown, old Cornwallis was comfortably seated in his tent, sipping hot tea from a very small cup. He felt secure. Today, the British fleet was to arrive. Suddenly, an officer burst into the tent. Must you disturb me during tea, as Cornwallis? Sir, painted the officer. Warships have arrived, but they are not ours. They are French. Ouch, said the British General, as he dropped the tea up on his lap. Then we must escape by land.

We can't search at the men. There are some French and American troops preventing that. Our only way out is to fly, but our enemies are quite able to put salt on our tails. Cornwallis said quietly. Then we are caught, as in a mouse trap. The red coats tried to fight their way out. But George Washington's army arrived and kept them bottled up. Some British warships attempted to rescue Cornwallis, but the French fleet chased them off. It was only a matter of time. One crisp, early morning, a British drummer boy stood alone and faced the American lines. It meant Cornwallis' surrender. A British officer sent a letter to Washington. It said, You have won, you old fox. It was October 19, 1781.

The war would end officially in two years. But for all intents and purposes, the war for independence was over at Yorktown. And the United States of America was just beginning. Oh, huge equal for space. You've got it for our work, our brain. For purple mountains, majesty. Oh, no, no, we'll just play. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I shared his grave on me, and found a good with brother. From sea to shining sea. O, o o, o o, o o, o o o. .

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