Exploring the child's world IV; Troubled shooter

Trouble Shooter 14 year old John did not have any previous experience with fresh boys so she shot the first one she says the teenagers do not know what love is but they know what getting hurt means she agrees that she needs a limit set for her. She gets them. She also feels that she needs love from her relatives but she does not get it. We are impressed when we visit some foreign land like China by the close resemblance that one child bears to another. One might point out any two children at random in the visitor would not be surprised to find they look enough alike to be brothers even if they are not. We do not get the same impression about members of our own country or even members of the same family. It is there but it it is not a striking. Children do resemble their parents physically and however striking the physical resemblance may be. It is true that the psychological social and ethical resemblances are even greater. Children take on the actions patterns attitudes ways prejudices of their parents. They at least approximate them as children move out of the family they

draw further away from their family and move to imitate new models more of their own age. Often the new loyalties cause conflict with the old. The movement is not always upward. It is not always in the direction of improvement. It is not always good. This may cause a renewal of effort on the part of the parents to draw the child back. But this just seems to make the child drive harder for liberation for emancipation for his own identity as a person. Sometimes this tension or pull in opposite directions causes strain family relations. Sometimes there is a break and the child uses strange remedies to mend the edges of the break. On his side here to interview such a child is father Duffy a professor of sociology at Duquesne University speaking from the juvenile court facilities in Pittsburgh. Father Duffy I often wonder what it would take to persuade a beautiful young girl that she is ugly stupid and worse than anybody else. The girl we are about to interview has such feelings. She feels neglected and abandoned.

This is not strange because she is neglected and abandoned. She feels guilty for she knows that she should be grateful to her aunt who raised her. But because the way that the I have now treats her she is not grateful because of the neglect on the one side and the guilt on the other the child is suffering from what we call ambivalence somewhat similar to the feelings of a man who hates what alcohol does to him but still has to have it. Joan is apprehensive about marriage. The man that she marries may get sick or die or divorce her. That is what men do around her. This child is also ambivalent in regard to school. She sees the benefits and advantages offered by education and she has a chance to profit by all of these. But she tends to waste her time in school and now she feels guilty about this. I would like to go back and take all of her elementary school work over again. But she knows that this is both impractical and unrealistic. The same sort of mixed up attitude marks her relations with boys since she is a very

attractive child. She has had several admirers. One boy whom she likes is a Don Juan type. She admits that he is no good. At present he is serving an indeterminate sentence at the state training school. On one occasion he became too amorous So she shot him in the leg. Another boy she rules out of consideration because he likes her too much. She implies that she doesn't deserve such a nice boy. The one she would like to marry would not be willing to live in Mexico with her and that's where she plans to move permanently. You can see that this child is confused and mixed up in a variety of important life areas. She was not born this way she became this way because of her surroundings because or her own life situation. We like to think that a girl even if seriously involved in delinquent patterns can recover if she is surrounded by love surrounded by people who respect her as a human being. And if she is given a code of rules which is definite somewhat flexible and

consistent we're not sure this program can be guaranteed to Joan. We are not even sure that it is available. Nor do we know much about her motivational system. I begin this case preview by asking what it would take to persuade a young girl that she's ugly stupid and worse than anyone else. One way to to make her think that way is to tell her that and treat her as if she were what you're doing here. Jim how do you like him. This is the first time you've been here. Yeah but it wasn't. You. Yeah it wasn't anything that you did. And your mother must have Bri. My father's my mother's somewhere next to me. When and how did you get separation. My and I didn't get along. How you can separate your mother when I was challenged to me away makes it go away.

I know what happened then. You're really not going to be a great wind out here nice to your mother getting married again. Yes marry him and she enjoyed it. Yes she has. Once one drug on one's time and four girls they're all younger than you are. Yes. Well for you in school in seventh grade. You have a boyfriend yet. Yes leave helplessly. Still a team. Was you working here. Yes here is it. One year when your boyfriends where one about the other. The other really bad as he is he is in jail. Anything more again at a British training school speech school I want to human rights and how we get along with him. Oh he was 39. Well I already started when I lived

in around two other he went around with other girls. You are one of the several yes but when he was when he was you know nice or you live things are fresh. Did he ever beat you have no IP I slapped him one shiny thing you shot him in the leg. Let me invite you know you are 16 this extend the stay if you get put away. You were never here before. How about tell me something happened when you were a liberal before you came to this country. You know I'm in Mexico I like to run around and I have more fun than I have here now and I wasn't really what you call a girl that does things I don't

know. She's a. Girl that takes advantage of everybody I wasn't really running around in on that. But never get into any trouble right kind of group and I thought that my you know my grandma or my grandma dynamic longer so I can go back to me continue with her. When I came to the United States I want to go back to my promise you take me back and do it man. But promised a piggy bank but later on who did they. Make it down saying to you go back by name again. I guess that's why I don't like a man who kept their promises. You know we have anybody in the role of religious other greatly when it works. No reason home. Now we can all see. Oh he's not going he's right to mean to tell me he'll wait for me. He says that he thinks money and trying to help me in she says. He

says that he she says that she likes me but I don't think she's saying that. To show people you can't really show you how you tell other people like you or me. Well you know when they look at me in the way I hear. I hear about you know well how did you treat you when she was about she always said if you want things done around the house yet to be you have to pay for what you do around this time and I was not to make their final Clawson their phone calls were like to me come in for me except for her daughter when they were allowed to come in for her children their own smart. They get their girlfriends and they come to go. Why are they always can their house but my mother my aunt they wouldn't me. Parties in her house right. So I do like them. Now I'm going with yes and we have no weapons here. You should just give me. One. Maybe she doesn't want to keep you and she goes will lose you where she says she just wanted

she says she just might support me anymore. Joseph why should she support before not her daughter who has a make you feel what she's doing is rejecting you when you do. She goes well I still like going away but she can never take my mothers place. You know I never met my mother. Good girls girls in here should be happy that they have their own mothers nation. Love have love for them but if they only have one mind. I think they would realize if they're lucky they have their own money. What have you learned to love if you are sure you never got to me and I know just that. I hear things about her and think she's been going through to get me here in this world I think she should love me for me for bread. Well what Review Boards are going to about this one boy was not nice to you. Why don't knowing just what girls say the stakes are. It's groovy. Yeah and he's always funny in a way but is just a guy with other girls and.

Whatever he can get out of me with the other girls you know and I don't like to do that so he doesn't like me that much but I still want to write to him and see how he's doing even though he does might be a match and he gives it to like trouble. Seems like he might be dangerous boyfriend he's more Playboy and Frank his brother is a nightmare. His post very nice and he's he's well known around the world. What do you think you will miss something if you let go of him to get it done. I think that's when I realized but now I'm studying I'm starting to realize that it was no good if I ever do grow up and keep on liking him and I'm just doing myself. We'll I'm just throwing my life right there. People with one boy who's prefers to it this year. One thing I didn't like them much. In other words you want to take advantage of people instead of loving you to help me. He loves women do you

know herds. I think I just don't want to be hurting him I like his brother I don't think his body do same thing. I don't think that the mostly boys are all the same we always say but you do have the other one you know he seems nice nice nice except I don't have too much for him. Course maybe he has enough for you. Maybe you spoke about the man. Yes I think that's a challenge. Nice retirement and so nice. These are all you can really have a merchant minute would surely love you more. And I'll claim you're him returned him too. But. People these days order people adults a keen interest don't nobody know really. But if they only put their. Put themselves in our shoes they realize where we kids now we don't know really what love is IMAX not don't really know but I know where who I should lie. We do a really good early years I think I know you won't get. Into my own bio parents and your father is good yes.

You speak the language Well yes because you all will get English schools. Yes I'm I like them ok. But I right now I think she was a semi back to Mexico. Wish that's what he wanted to get there. Yes I know. If I had more fun I guess ever since I came here to go on run away from what you were senior happened to you while being taken away from my own home my people why I love beer and not having privileges but I don't mean to me. Privileged I don't want too many who just cause it be like a spoiled brat you know like these girls these days you know older men all over boys these days and I think there. Are a lot of. Track. But the limits set for you. Yes time to come in the house and it's just doesn't want me to go off anywhere and just one no time to commit this time three stands all the time.

Well isn't this what they call form of rejection doesn't she reject you she doesn't like you she doesn't want you she doesn't want to support you. She says she's for kids his own gun my kids around me. Would you like her back to their circumstances. I don't know why. Something in my heart just likes for a little bit in the way. Maybe you feel guilty if you don't like or maybe you feel you should be grateful you wrote some of the things she's done when I was small kept me in the house and gaming clothing. She can't control me now she wants to control you. I think that says I always arrive. She screamed like a robot just present button there which you want to control you you want to be controlled. Why don't. I mean you want me to want to tell you what can you give me. But it's just it's just one. She has one that uses you stay in the house all the time I was really good with the Spanish culture we can study here but I'd like to get out like these girls do even down the street there's a store and I go down all teenagers hang around

there. And now they're just turning a teenager which I think I should have been which is just to go down there with my sisters. The small ones take him down there and talk to a girls and get get going with the me because I don't know very many girls I don't have very many girlfriends or boyfriends. I just know mesclun is my home after school and street where she goes are looking for me. I sense the kids looking for me and I have to be home by after school. They only live right down the street. Do you feel like you're on a short chain. Yes I just go out at one door and come in another Once I'm so used to Gina quite. Well which will be more bearable I think if you had to stay home or Clinton if they were nice to you. You wouldn't mind because Ben I wouldn't. All I want is to be a mother your father to give me love and I think a teenager when she reaches her age teens should know the facts of life when she should have love from her panic not from aboard her parents monster. Well thanks I'm going to get him

one. Well like these girls say on these things you know about sex and I have to learn those. Nobody told you about. And I imagine you girls in here really do agree to a discussion immediately Yes I think so I have to listen to their programme they are things what they've done with them. Waste them legal or lose fictitious you're just making it up. It starts real to me anyway and well I'm just. Oh no I wouldn't think I'd like to do it till I managed out the use of sex but girls these days are just sex and they do anyway. But in our school. Why doesn't she every sexless to marry him. Sex is really not very often so how you use it. What is the main problems of girls here is I think they use sex too much. That also can be scary to people. Yes to girls would know what they're doing and I think they were all too young. Especially when the age of 13 having a baby I think that's way too young and I think

some do. Yes I think she had her baby niece when you're 20 or 21 when you're able to marry. It's roughly 18 0 9 think that love would mean for more years for you to begin with but I wanted Jarvis to get married if I can't marry the boy I want. And I'm losing all my schooling since I've been here two months on this enormous pooling and all. Now I go to school. But here you don't have very well educated just in a bad memory. Well some are suited up with you when you go out one arm door and go into another one being feverishly years except I'm getting used to it now it's more like a count anyway. Comes the same here. Oh I'm sorry. Thanks a good one used to hear Malaysia to communicate but it's really not bad here it's other places where you're sent to New York Jets to kill two birds which no one knew and I

didn't say. They the ladies here like me I know they do in the way. When the men that work in the artist they like me too I like them everybody. We tell whether somebody like you by the way to talk to you in the way we treat you. He said today find out one girl likes one she's boy crazy girl. Well the boys were blinking at her and she like she just goes up. Why don't cower she goes right there. So they were blinking yet being I'm just also a shiny one doing things. Right there. We try to talk to somebody you don't know. Yes it is. But he I think some went to school before but I don't really pay attention to him. I usually in school and I do when I run Man I just should run but I am doing work but I love to I love school which will back him whatever scare you the most. We test come up in the fall.

Well there's always the possibility of failure. Yes. Have you failed. Once again I start school late after I came to the United States and back again. I was very good. You made you want to work what would you be when you grow. I like to be and nurse or if I can have their job I like to be a housewife. I knew like I know I can make a good housewife to clean house and I like to. Well I just like to be a very nice house. I know I keep on making right. Do you have any big fears. Well. I'm just afraid that. I'm just afraid of what my future is going to be ending on hearing me and I've been to three homes already but I don't seem to like them. I'm just I don't know. I'd still like to have any and we just want to go back to Mexico and see where I've lived in all but if there's a girl you're interested in will you want to go to Mexico to think circus

and think you'd like to know what was meant to come on would you think about him seriously if you go marry him he's going to stay you're going to Mexico to be preventing him from because you could raise him. I just write my letters I hope I get an answer some. Kind of mania. In her. How come you're with a little girl as well because I don't I just don't like to have a junior stamp were quite in dealing with people based on computers and independent or are they doing well. And everybody gives me privileges around here. They give me privileges. They're very specially 180 between washee like a mother to me like a mother to everybody here. When you have problems you run to her and she's very she's interested in it.

They always hope you have a solution that interests him. And there's too many. The same is he says he's really nice. Tell me I don't know his real name but he'll be up to the boys up their sleeve tonight. There's a new father does the I like but you very much so if you carry on and. Maybe take you first. It's a great disparity if you want people to like you like me personally become likable and you like people. Yeah. It's just that I don't know. I don't like things that I get around with the lame when so I don't like very much because they want to go out and talk with these things. You've had experience with boys and they asked me for my bro John. I'm not rich I know what they're worth. So I said how could you going to be told You know I say I'm a Protestant you know and I don't know what they're told by it don't you know I mean invention which is did you have sex or sex with any boys as this man. Green is a man. MRS. So they sign their name wrong.

And ways to ask her why do you live. But a ranch near Crawford you know our version of a snowman Well isn't anything pray with her. No I don't think so I think everybody knows everybody's business up there it's all you do is gammon. Fallon just a moment next hike in trouble. You say you really like the girls think you're pretty big you know you think you're a big thing in your room or. That's all there is to do missionary go out there and get your nose bleed. Come back when he's really much I love to really really teach you about talking to me. No they they just almost the way I mean the virus from me man. Not to be too religious and they say you're too religious you know. It's facts of life. Girl you gotta know when to talk the way I talk like them start to talk like you know and when my bottom line came up I start talking like these girls you know she slapped me she says that's my name which you are when children are here.

I guess I'll be here quite some time. It's hard to place a bitter girl. Because you know dignity you know too well I'm not I can't buy your line here. Girls pick on me I can't buy when the girl says I'm taking a lot of the other girls one girl sticks up for me she says I'm taking on a lot of the other girls say they can hit me and all I hear and slap me but I don't do anything back to them you know. So they grow water at me and they all say you take your family. They take advantage of you because they know you can't buy but I don't really wish to fight and I never learned by now because we're already using a place like this you covered by our use we're you know I'm worse than you know what you mean we don't know these things are the girls now and I don't I dance as one thing. GROSS can be asked like anything but what do you think you will be left out when maybe you might think.

Very. Other girls look so good looking. You know that the Boy Scouts and you know. Like here with the boys but the boys only go for her beauty right there. Q From my family look here the girls wear so much makeup that makes them look so all these days back here oh she's 13 and she looks like she's Iran 17 or 18. What else is wrong if you decide to be a leaf and I don't think you don't get it from him. Well I was asking you about that shows you self-image what you think of yourself. You have a low regard Fusional. I do. But I love Right. I think I'm very smart and I could so I've been and I love music and smart music. And you play anything or seen I play drums.

So we I joined the band because he played me and he was a monkey in jail or the other we don't want to listen to him and when they didn't hear him there was some gems you might go to same place was. Yes. And I love I love to music in things girls hear anything they think music is stupid you know they want me to go out now listen to music. Yes I love music and I have a big thick book written about the art the music. Minute direct music and eyes and I love it. And. As they take folk aboard there's. Our. Their story. And write stories are theirs. And I love to read very much reading. I love catechism. And. I'm very damning arithmetic. I don't I never like that to my tendinitis spelling about like reading in art. We're here with magickal skills and you seek to be better at it. The more you know. I never did like music but I guess all depends on which teacher you have. But I think if

somebody works with you closely you could learn arithmetic and stuff. Yes if I would if I had one wish in the whole world. I tried to go back through my grades and try to look over what was wrong I think I can play around school which I left school I am starting to love it very much I wish I was back in school when I know if I don't go to school it's going to bring me low when I get married. If my husband dies or something that's wrong in the house I report again and you think maybe I was with my dad too. But you don't have me you know in the front page he might be saying any of this could be looking for a line on this. Getting jobs. For the boys come up and you're thinking about that again. I think I'll be a buy everything now. Each marriage just so early. We seem to be very exciting when. I'm never around an operational line like it

was and we never in the service. My. Uncle. Turned me in to get home family when he played he was in it and. I think it's telling people to do this. You have been listening to exploring the child's world. A program in which the child speaks. Father Francis Duffy Professor of Sociology education university has outlined the features of this world and conducted the interview with the child. This is been a production of the radio service of Duquesne University in cooperation with U.K. new sociology department technical director Fred McWilliams program director and announcer Carol demand this and again next week for another in the series exploring the

child's world. Eat. Eat Eat Eat Eat was. This program was distributed by national educational radio. This is the national educational radio network.