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Again the question how many loves. Here again in an effort to be somewhat specific. I would think a few a few is a non-committal term under 10 and possibly under 5 but more than one. What role should sacrifice play in law. Can we sacrifice. The Here and Now. For 10 minutes. Or are we immature uninhibited liking self-control to the point where we have to. Rush out declare Let's make love instead of talk about love as sacrifice in terms of five minutes.
I spoke with several friends before coming here tonight. Some. Of my contemporaries some of the contemporaries of my children. Instead of saying what sacrifices she should play in LA. Let me. Pass the buck to you. Let me make the following hypotheses. Assume. There is a man and wife who have been married for 20 years plus. Now. One of them becomes hopelessly crippled emotionally or physically. What should the spouse
do. Notice I've slipped in the word should on you something deontological rather than existential something to do with morality. In posing this to friends I was surprised to find them asking which one became cripple. Somehow that made a difference. Let's take the same hypothetical situation. A young couple has been married for one year now. One of them becomes seriously crippled emotionally or physical to what extent should the other individual sacrifice. Love the crippled partner.
Let's move this one step earlier in time. A young couple is engaged and not married. During the engagement. The young man is hopelessly crippled or let me substitute the word severely crippled in war or whatever. Or the young lady becomes so bitterly emotionally disturbed. What should be done. What is the role of sacrifice. How far does care for an other go. Let me leave you with those questions. I have a hunch it will make a difference whether the respond is an adolescent.
Middle age or an older individual. Actually this raises to me a rather fascinating question. How meaningful is it to raise these questions. The answer I would give today is not the answer I would have given 30 years ago. Now I have the advantage of hindsight which I did not at that time. Does Rod mean the same to the male and to the female. There has been considerable argument on this point. A rather interesting research study has been done recently. Let me give you the. Synopsis of the findings. The research was what is this thing called log
semantically and the research is where Dr. Di Vincent bias and Dr. Marvin Zuckerman. Briefly there seemed to be no significant difference as far as the male and female were concerned with the concept or related concepts. The major difference was that females tended to rate marriage and faithfulness as good more frequently than the males. Someone Interestingly the females tended to associate love with sex more frequently than the male. What should there be between love and sacrifice. I think the correlation
would be high. I think it would be positive. I don't think it would be unity. I don't think it would be one point or a game. If you want to have a bit of fun. Ask your friends this question. It would seem that generally speaking the consensus is as I suggested a relatedness and overlapping but not a complete coinciding. A year ago I had the pleasure of speaking here on the new puritanism mentioning for Romney. We still have a problem with us the ore Puritanism the new puritanism the all was defined as love without sex. The new as sex without love. I have a hunch that the optimal would be
something in between these extremes. With respect to other facets of law may I raise these thoughts for your consideration. Christmas Hanukkah comes once a year. What is the optimal frequency of love. I'd raise questions earlier about how's your health How's your job situation How's your social life etc.. The point there was to try to get some perspective so that there would not be over emphasis on one phase of life one phase of living. I suggest now that the more
successful one individual is in this area here the more mature he is that there will be appreciably less emphasis on love as such that it will be taken as normal. If that's not begging the question as in the picture that they will not need to be constant continuous repeated reassurance or demonstration of loud. That. There will be a harmonious blending of the whole somewhat reminiscent of the Socratic suggestion that log is the pursuit of the whole. That it is a reassurance
against loneliness that it is the cement that relates. That it Forster's implements and hence is union relatedness sharing. I arbitrarily focused in these comments on male female love. In this connection may I draw upon a figure used by Aristophanes in the symposium where it was suggested that originally there were three sexes male male female female male female. That these were respectively the children of the sun
for the male male of the four the female female of the earth for the genus male female that originally poetically medically. Each human being was complete with four legs four arms either two heads or one double hand. That man attempted to fault the heavens that the gods felt called upon to punish man for his pride. And this undoubtedly has a somewhat familiar ring. But after much discussion it was decided not to destroy a man in which case there would be no one to worship the gods. On the other hand they could not be let scott free for their insolence or their arrogance or their pride.
So it was devised that they would be split asunder. With the consequence that the male male was now cut into two male parts the female female was bumped into female parts the male female were cut into two parts one male one female and that these hair was spent the rest of our lives trying to find their original partner. Incidentally parent publicly this would be a rather to meet explanation of heterosexual love lesbian love and homosexuals but that is not the point I want to make the point I want to make is this that the individual is existentially lonely is separate.
That this book on the part of Aristophanes in the Suppose iam. Rather serious implications. Namely that man cannot exist in isolation. He must be united if not re-united. To be perfected. That love is the mediator the reconciling of poor divided human nature that the loves of this world may be and indistinct anticipation of the ideal union which is not realized. It. There is a very
strong if inverse relationship between love and loneliness. Between growth and deterioration. Between creation and dissolution. Earlier I had a poet's love and reason. I wonder if it would be fair to quit with this seeming dichotomy because I do believe it is a seeming dichotomy only. I do believe that just as personality and intelligence are interdependent. Our exaggerations of the limiting ends of a can
turn you on. So true love and reason are Inder dependent harkening back to the example of the engaged couple. Does practicality enter in to love. For asking the question another way. Ah there. Are different kinds of love. Must not man who is both reason and emotion. Well mind and body. Exercise some prudence. Some planning some practical consideration. As the effort is made to reconcile religion and science. Namely that religion should not gainsay science it hopefully should go
beyond it but not contradict it. Is it. On. Reasonable. Is it unfair. Is it on a lover like. To suggest that. The more effective the more meaningful the more nearly mature love is a love that will not fly in the face of reason. Or would you rather contend that love is a repudiation of reason. If my opinion is worth anything here I would go for the more practical approach. That. Law. Is subject to measurement. A qualitative measurement rather
than quantitative possibly a rough measurement rather than a fine one but that it is meaningful to differentiate between healthy love and sick love between mature and immature love yielding readily that or are expressions of love but that some are to be desired above others. Opening I suggested many operational definitions of love. I wonder if it is not pretty much as portrayed in one hour.
Well Mark I Am's watch reins myself when Young did eagerly frequent both doctor and Saint and heard great argument about it and about what ever more came out the same door as in I went. Has the circle come for will round the incident appropriate to suggest that the property. Definition of law namely that it is the desirable. And that the pursuit of the whole is called love. Is it appropriate to borrow still one more figure of speech. From Socrates where he sought to explain
the NCIS tree our blog by suggesting that at a feast of the gods one of the gods or plenty over indulged fell a sleep. That peña or poverty a beggar woman came when the feast was over found poor OS or plenty asleep. Took advantage of him. That the child born of plenty and of poverty is that which we know as long. Back there is inheritance from both. But there is the ability
to recognize the if you will from that higher. Value the better things. The more. Effective ways of living that there is also a. Pea nervous beggarly grasping quality to love. But the reason many of us are able to grow. To mature to achieve to realize ourselves is to the fact that we project. Our desires into thing beloved that we recognise. Part of ourselves in the other. But this is how we are
able to. Fight live log achieve move grow develop realize ourselves. That love is ultimately a myth that it has different meanings for different perceivers that it is a hierarchy of values that it is a means of overcoming loneliness. It is a means of transcending oneself. It is a means of showing care for another. I suggest that these are related relevant pertinent
considerations with respect to the topic of love. Again Let it is the desire for the whole or for completeness. That the pursuit of this higher go of the completeness of the whole is appropriately called love. That this is a would be rational would be intellectual examination selection study of several of the facets that it is as initially suggested questionable. To what extent Love should be evaluated. Analyzed by reason I suggested I do believe that they are
interdependent. If you will have none of this then may I close with a final train from the roof on. But leave the wise to wrangle. And with me the quarrel of the universe. Let it be. And in some corner of the hubbub couch. Make game of that which makes as much of the. Thank you. I I. You heard psychologist Emerson Coyle as he spoke on the topic. Love love love. What is it. This was another programme in the series. Peace love and creativity. The hope of mankind on our next program. Algernon de black leader of the society of ethical
culture will speak on the topic. The moral problems of war and peace. These programs are recorded at the Cooper Union by station WNYC New York. The series is made available to the station by the national educational radio network.
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Peace, love, creativity: Hope of mankind
Love, love, love: What is it?, part two
Producing Organization
WNYC (Radio station : New York, N.Y.)
Cooper Union for the Advancement of Science and Art
Contributing Organization
University of Maryland (College Park, Maryland)
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Episode Description
This program presents the second part of a lecture by Emerson Coyle, consulting psychologist.
Series Description
This series presents lectures from the 1968 Cooper Union Forum. This forum's theme is Peace, Love, Creativity: The Hope of Mankind.
Media type
Producing Organization: WNYC (Radio station : New York, N.Y.)
Producing Organization: Cooper Union for the Advancement of Science and Art
Speaker: Coyle, Emerson
AAPB Contributor Holdings
University of Maryland
Identifier: 68-10-12 (National Association of Educational Broadcasters)
Format: 1/4 inch audio tape
Duration: 00:24:16
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Chicago: “Peace, love, creativity: Hope of mankind; Love, love, love: What is it?, part two,” 1968-02-21, University of Maryland, American Archive of Public Broadcasting (GBH and the Library of Congress), Boston, MA and Washington, DC, accessed July 25, 2024,
MLA: “Peace, love, creativity: Hope of mankind; Love, love, love: What is it?, part two.” 1968-02-21. University of Maryland, American Archive of Public Broadcasting (GBH and the Library of Congress), Boston, MA and Washington, DC. Web. July 25, 2024. <>.
APA: Peace, love, creativity: Hope of mankind; Love, love, love: What is it?, part two. Boston, MA: University of Maryland, American Archive of Public Broadcasting (GBH and the Library of Congress), Boston, MA and Washington, DC. Retrieved from