Our Stories; Healing Woods (Indian Township, Maine)

<v Speaker>The following program presents personal views and opinions which are not necessarily <v Speaker>those of Main Public Television or the funder. <v Speaker>Some program content may not be suitable for young children. <v Speaker>Maine Public Television's production of our stories is made possible through a Television <v Speaker>Demonstration Grant from Rural Development, part of the USDA. <v Speaker>[music and singing]

<v Speaker>I didn't know Donald was gonna be my neighbor until we all got assigned these <v Speaker>houses and all that. <v Speaker>I was glad. <v Speaker>There's a legend about the ash tree.The <v Speaker>Great Spirit made the ash tree the brother of the Passamaquody. <v Speaker>And it's like a sacred tree to the tribe. <v Speaker>But for some reason in the last 20- 20 years, the ash trees, <v Speaker>the brown ash tree is declining. <v Speaker>They think that might be due to the climate, the change in the climate. <v Speaker>So for us, it's like our organs are a dying. <v Speaker>When me and Cheyenne went out and got some brown ash trees for

<v Speaker>Molly, we gave our offerings so the Great Spirit <v Speaker>would accept them for the tree that we were taking. <v Speaker>[chainsaw sounds] Well, ?it's a good tree? five or six feet. <v Speaker>Yeah. We're gonna want to cut that off. [chainsaw sounds] <v Speaker>A little ways to go.

<v Speaker>Here's one of the trails. <v Speaker>We'll switch when you're ready. <v Speaker>[muffled talking and laughing] <v Speaker>This is going to be good. That's gonna be a good piece of ash. <v Speaker>Holy. <v Speaker>[cutting counds] You have to do it. Just, you know, like hit it little, just like that. <v Speaker>This is really soft. [hammering sounds] Look at that. <v Speaker>[muffled talking]That's <v Speaker>all you have to do Chey.

<v Speaker>[Offscreen man: Just keep on going like.] Yeah. Yeah. <v Speaker>Yeah. Make sure when you when it hits seeing you start hitting like that. <v Speaker>[Man: OK] Always overlap. <v Speaker>[Man: Should I have my foot on it?] Yeah. <v Speaker>We should have put a notch on that. <v Speaker>[hammering]He's <v Speaker>got one strip, pretty well done. <v Speaker>So what we'll do is we'll try to slip it and see if it'll work out all right. <v Speaker>He tried to loosen each fiber or each you know each layer of a tree. <v Speaker>That way, when we pull it apart, we usually strip it like two inches out say, <v Speaker>then bring it right off the tree. <v Speaker>[hammering and muffled talking] <v Speaker>I hear that nice sound.

<v Speaker>Yeah, it sounds good. <v Speaker>I haven't hear that for years. <v Speaker>I remember waking up to that sound. <v Speaker>Just thinking about when you- we lived in Naples, and you kids <v Speaker>joined the Girl Scouts, and they volunteered <v Speaker>me to make some baskets. <v Speaker>That's when the girls I think actually got interested in baskets because <v Speaker>it gave them a chance to show their friends what they can do <v Speaker>and what I can do with baskets. <v Speaker>Have Donald go and check on those ones [muffles talking] He said- <v Speaker>Hi- he said he's got about 50, <v Speaker>but they're little. And in ten years, they'll be big enough.

<v Speaker>So hopefully that nobody will cut 'em. <v Speaker>I remember my grandmother telling me that she used to work <v Speaker>days for one day, you know, many, many days before my grandfather would fill <v Speaker>up a big burlap bag to hitchhike to Callas or Tobego <v Speaker>to peddle the baskets, and once- and <v Speaker>once they got- he sells every one of them then he starts walking back again <v Speaker>to bring home money to my grandmother so they can buy food and whatever <v Speaker>else is needed for the house. <v Speaker>Yeah, I get it. <v Speaker>[muffled talking] check up on the kids for me, would you please, T? <v Speaker>Come on. [car noises] <v Speaker>I remember when I lived at Pleasant Point right next to Francis. <v Speaker>You know, we had a little house there, and we'd start off Monday

<v Speaker>morning. Well, we always have, you know, ash <v Speaker>on hand, so we'd sit down to start making baskets. <v Speaker>Old Mitch Francis used to cut up the standards, you know, which was like these. <v Speaker>And then somebody else would start making the bottoms. <v Speaker>And I'd weave all of the hundred baskets we make every <v Speaker>day, every week. [Woman offscreen: 100 baskets] 100 baskets. <v Speaker>But I think even if you found that- I know your grandfather didn't he used to make <v Speaker>baskets? [muffles talking] Yeah. <v Speaker>And he used to get some ash too. <v Speaker>Know, but I remember years ago when it seems as if <v Speaker>the women was the head of the household instead of the man, <v Speaker>because it was the women that worked. <v Speaker>You know, that did the basketry, and it was women that also seek other, <v Speaker>you know, other things to do on the outside.

<v Speaker>And, uh, I know one thing, too, like they were saying that, you know, <v Speaker>the in some of the other tribes along with ours, that they have the elders, <v Speaker>the women as elders. <v Speaker>And everybody listens to what they have to say. <v Speaker>Now, they're the ones that would that would tell you what to do. <v Speaker>Yeah, I remember grow-um, growing up and it was the mothers and the grandmothers who <v Speaker>decided how is always going to vote in the family. <v Speaker>And even, you know, we have a majority of tribal council members are male. <v Speaker>We only have two females on the tribal council. <v Speaker>But I can guarantee you that if there is a decision that one of the tribal council <v Speaker>members make that his wife or significant other makes, I'm sure he <v Speaker>hears about it. I mean, you look at even in our employment society, most <v Speaker>of the women are the ones that are out there within tribal government and they're <v Speaker>making the decisions and making the programs work because women are strong here. <v Speaker>Well, that's what I was trying to stress to my girls for many years.

<v Speaker>I says, you know, you always make sure that you take care of your children and you <v Speaker>do what has to be done. <v Speaker>Never rely on anybody else. <v Speaker>It isn't as if they do a better job. <v Speaker>But from wha- from way back, a woman- a woman <v Speaker>has more responsibility than- than a man, I feel. <v Speaker>So what they do is, uh- [muffled talking] Yeah. <v Speaker>Yeah. I think they do have more gobal in their thinking. <v Speaker>You want to make baskets when you little bigger? <v Speaker>Oh yeah, grammy will help you, huh, yeah. [laughter]. <v Speaker>Let me see hun. Oh, I think <v Speaker>you've had enough honey. <v Speaker>That's a pretty basket. <v Speaker>You got to put a couple whites. Both really. <v Speaker>Oh, I see. I see what you're saying, one more red. <v Speaker>Yeah, yeah, yeah. <v Speaker>This is will- she'll finishi this? ?inaudible? <v Speaker>Like this? Oh, she put that to rest? <v Speaker>Yeah. Yeah, that's all she'll do.

<v Speaker>Yeah. So that's all set to put the sweet grass in. <v Speaker>[duck calls] <v Speaker>Try to skip it, Frances. <v Frances>Dad, I skipped it. <v Speaker>Try it again. <v Speaker>I love Donald's kids. He's got nothing but girls. And he's been trying for a boy for a <v Speaker>while. And he must have seven girls. [laughter] Well I tease him about it and all that. <v Speaker>But I'll tell you those girls are cute, tiptoeing around here and everything. <v Speaker>Cause I have girls too, and they're are 18, 16 and <v Speaker>I missed out on their own upbringing. <v Speaker>And I've always wanted to bring up a daughter. <v Speaker>I've brought up boys, you know, from when they were a child. <v Speaker>I'll tell you it just, there's a difference, <v Speaker>and why I missed out on my daughters was because I was out drinking, drugging, acting <v Speaker>out. <v Speaker>Mel Gordon is a down to earth kind of guy.

<v Speaker>He loves hunting. He loves being outdoors. <v Speaker>I think we all share that connection to the outdoors and <v Speaker>the relationship we have with the Earth and everything. <v Speaker>It's a community thing. [child sounds] <v Speaker>Who is that? Is it daddy? Listen Fordon, she likes hearing his voice. What? Who is that? <v Speaker>Hi there babe. <v Speaker>There he is. <v Speaker>[laughter] Sit down over here. On your big chair. <v Speaker>[muffled talking] <v Speaker>That's when we got you. Seven years ago, you was two months or two weeks old when we got <v Speaker>you rhe first time. Two weeks old or three weeks old? <v Speaker>[Woman: I can't remember] Two weeks old or something like that. <v Speaker>Why did you guys want to adopt me? <v Speaker>Because we loved you, and we wanted kids. <v Speaker>Momma couldn't have kids and daddy couldn't.

<v Speaker>But we wanted them <v Speaker>Because you have that cut there? <v Speaker>Mhm <v Speaker>No wonder you can't have kids. You're a boy. <v Speaker>[laughter] <v Speaker>Yep, that's why I can't. [child speaking, inaudible] But we wanted kids. <v Speaker>And you adopted him from Amanda. <v Speaker>Mhm. <v Speaker>So we put the word out that we- that we wanted to adopt. <v Speaker>And within a year or so. <v Speaker>We had one girl come up to us and wanted us to adopt. <v Speaker>Cause, she knew she couldn't handle her baby. <v Speaker>So- She would be running around and <v Speaker>this and that and- We made an agreement, and she wasn't ready <v Speaker>to settle down. And we'd been married for quite a few years already and settled down. <v Speaker>Who was the first one to, um, out of us to adopt? <v Speaker>You [laughter] You are the special one. your the first one we got. [Boy: and me too] Our <v Speaker>very, very own. And nobody can take them away from us.

<v Speaker>You call me your little brat. <v Speaker>Yep, that's cause you are. [laughter] What do you call him again? <v Speaker>That's my- my weasel, my weasel right here. <v Speaker>Did we come out of there? <v Speaker>Some babies come out of someone else's belly. <v Speaker>Everybody's born from a belly. We wanted a little boy and little girl. <v Speaker>[child speaks softly]. <v Speaker>A little boy and a little girl. <v Speaker>And we're still picking little boys and little girls left and right. <v Speaker>Take them for a couple weeks, a couple of months, couple of years, take 'em for <v Speaker>18 years. <v Speaker>[Woman: we got married first] We're still taking kids, huh. <v Speaker>Take it back now, all the way down. Yep. <v Speaker>I burnt myself [laughter] [sharpening sounds] <v Speaker>Fix this one for your brother.

<v Speaker>He'll get off my back, he needs arrows. <v Speaker>[tv sounds, muffled laughter] That's the one he'll probably take my windshield out with. <v Speaker>[tv sounds] [muffled talking] <v Speaker>[tv commercial sounds] <v Speaker>Too much mechanics on that bow, son. [arrow sounds] [laughter] [music] <v Speaker>You keep arrows out my way, boy.

<v Speaker>Daddy <v Speaker>came real close to a moose up in ?Jackin? <v Speaker>With his bow, real close. <v Speaker>It was a about here from that wall away from me, big moose. <v Speaker>Daddy kept walking down the road, kept calling and calling. <v Speaker>That moose stood there. He turned this way here. He almost come after your Dad too. <v Speaker>What do you think Dad would do? <v Speaker>He almost ran me over <v Speaker>[laughter] He was thinking about it real hard, and I was <v Speaker>close to that thing, son real close. <v Speaker>He was looking at me, and he was all mad at your old dad. He <v Speaker>was get ready to kick my butt. <v Speaker>Say no, daddy would have had a big old gun. <v Speaker>Daddy didn't have- I had my bow that day. <v Speaker>[woman: oh] [laughter] I almost turned around once when he let out all that spit and he <v Speaker>gave me a big holler like an 'ol horse.

<v Speaker>I was about 40 feet from him. <v Speaker>Usually when you see one of them, there's going to be another one around. <v Speaker>Gonna be a cow around here. <v Speaker>Anybody count all of the points on it? Lewis, <v Speaker>how many points? 17, wow. [mouse noises]It's <v Speaker>Gordon's turn to cook, too. That was a deal, that was the deal. <v Speaker>Oh, he's going to be disgusted. <v Speaker>How close were you? <v Speaker>30 yards. <v Speaker>Oh, Just perfect. Just couldn't get the shot? <v Speaker>No, I couldn't get the right angle on it. <v Speaker>He was head on, wasn't he? <v Speaker>He was looking right at me. And then when he was quartered, he was quarted either away <v Speaker>from me and looking right at me, so.There's no way I could put an arrow <v Speaker>in.

<v Speaker>Could you see the hair on his back covered it up? <v Speaker>Yeah, salica was just drip right out of his mouth. <v Speaker>I think he wanted to fight. <v Speaker>He did. [laughter] Till he saw how big my rack was. <v Speaker>I tried to put it down, but I wanted to get ready for him, too, in case. <v Speaker>In case you had to jump on his back [laughter]. <v Speaker>Jump on his back instead [laughter] [music] <v Speaker>Traditionally, the Passamaquoddy viewed the wildlife and the trees

<v Speaker>almost in the same same way. <v Speaker>You don't go out and trap all the beaver, you leave some behind and <v Speaker>replenish themselves. And we view the trees the same way. <v Speaker>You don't go out and cut all the trees, you leave them <v Speaker>behind to replenish themselves. <v Speaker>So the tribe has a close bond with the trees and the wildlife. <v Speaker>The surrounding land owners of paper companies, <v Speaker>they have a different view. <v Speaker>Just like everybody else has a different view. They're run by a board of directors <v Speaker>that are interested in making money. <v Speaker>So they're doing that for a business. <v Speaker>We're managing this land as a community. <v Speaker>[water sounds] In <v Speaker>this area, we have the, uh- the US Fish and Wildlife Service evaluate

<v Speaker>the area for wildlife habitat that needs extra protection. <v Speaker>And we've walked it over with the U.S. <v Speaker>Fish and Wildlife to locate, trying to locate deer yards, which are real critical <v Speaker>in that area. <v Speaker>The winters are so severe. So it's real important for the- for the deer to have <v Speaker>an area to retreat to. <v Speaker>And we felt it was real important to do that. <v Speaker>The deer and the moose are feeling pressure from surrounding land owners <v Speaker>because of their cutting. <v Speaker>They need a place to retreat to. And I'm sure because of the limited <v Speaker>cutting we're doing here, they're retreating to tribal lands for wintering at least. <v Speaker>Nice wood in here. That's <v Speaker>a white birch. <v Speaker>Some people call it paper birch. <v Speaker>Some people call it canoe birch. [laughter] The bark on that were used

<v Speaker>to make canoes. <v Speaker>Years ago, a few people still make 'em. <v Speaker>But it's- it's great to find a tree that big and <v Speaker>that healthy. The tribe has had to stay right on top of <v Speaker>the technology. We hold our old culture <v Speaker>strong, and we don't want to ever lose that. <v Speaker>But we have to keep up with the modern technical culture or we'll <v Speaker>get lost in the shuffle. <v Speaker>There's about twelve satellites orbiting in the Earth for this <v Speaker>G.P.S. system. <v Speaker>For this to be accurate. <v Speaker>Or to even activate it has to hit at least 4 of them. <v Speaker>And from those 4 satellites, it gives you a triangulation <v Speaker>on this exact spot. <v Speaker>We're practicing a different type of ?soil?

<v Speaker>culture for this area. <v Speaker>It's called sustain/yield. <v Speaker>You have the harvesting crews. <v Speaker>They're only allowed to cut what actually growing. <v Speaker>So it's like a bank account where you're just taking your interest. <v Speaker>That's the forester thinking. <v Speaker>As a tribal member, you and this land, I want to make sure it's preserved <v Speaker>for my kids and their kids. <v Speaker>And a lot- a lot of people have the same feeling. <v Speaker>That's what bonds a community together, making sure that the land <v Speaker>is protected and the trees. [music]. <v Speaker>They shouldn't be uh clear cutting or anything 'cause the trees

<v Speaker>are always been our protectors before all these industries came <v Speaker>around into this world. <v Speaker>A lot of industries are now causing a lot of people to get sick and <v Speaker>dying, landing in hospitals. <v Speaker>I think they should just leave the trees alone where Mother Nature intended <v Speaker>to be. <v Speaker>Well, this is cedar and <v Speaker>we use the green bars for ceremonies smudging. <v Speaker>And then after we use the ?inaudible?- We use <v Speaker>the stalks for stomach problems <v Speaker>and three cups a day. <v Speaker>will help you with just quick problems or if you over eat and that will <v Speaker>help you an hou before you have a big meal and <v Speaker>45 minutes after you have your meal.

<v Speaker>And that should take care of your stomach problems right there. <v Speaker>This tree here. You be out cutting the woods, ?wasting? <v Speaker>bubbles and apply to your wound. <v Speaker>While you're, if you can't get to your uh first aid box or out to your <v Speaker>vehicle in time to stop the bleeding, this will stop the bleeding. <v Speaker>[grass rustling] This is flag root. <v Speaker>The same stuff that I have <v Speaker>upstairs over the house. <v Speaker>[tearing root] It's got a nice <v Speaker>odor to it. Nice and strong.

<v Speaker>And there's one medicine now and it's <v Speaker>getting kind of stink because people are digging it up like- <v Speaker>like there was a big machine over there and just digging the earth right <v Speaker>up and destroying everything. <v Speaker>Certain roots, you just can't take all the root from it. <v Speaker>You just take what you need for the winter. <v Speaker>And I think I'd like to see that happen more <v Speaker>every year. Have someone just go and pick what they need <v Speaker>not to be greedy about it and not have nothing for next <v Speaker>year. <v Speaker>I usually have all these lines filled medicine. <v Speaker>But this year you know, I- I can't- <v Speaker>I can't- I can't give the creator hell for it because this was <v Speaker>meant to be, but he was telling

<v Speaker>me last year that which I ignored, double up on my <v Speaker>medicine for last year, knowing that there was a drug gonna be here. <v Speaker>So I just never, never listened. <v Speaker>But now, I'm going to listen when he speaks to me, I'm going to listen. <v Speaker>I do this all the time when I work with medicine. <v Speaker>I'm burning sage so I can purify the whole pedestal. <v Speaker>The spirits are coming up, real good smoke. <v Speaker>I call them my spirits. <v Speaker>Let me get some roots for this right there. <v Speaker>And this is the fun part.

<v Speaker>I just like helping old people, I guess. <v Speaker>I mean, it is our tradition. I mean, we ought to see if we can keep it up. <v Speaker>I mean, today's the 90s, but it's never <v Speaker>too late to start something that we started a long time ago again. <v Speaker>So. <v Speaker>OK. That's your medicine. [Off screen: Thank you] You're welcome. <v Speaker>On my days off, I'm out enjoying the elements of the earth, <v Speaker>taking my son with me to show him the most <v Speaker>beautiful things on earth which can be destroyed

<v Speaker>by society the way it is today. <v Speaker>[music] Georgia-Pacific <v Speaker>has given me independence, financial independence. <v Speaker>I don't have to rely on anybody or anyone. <v Speaker>And then that's why I go to work there. <v Speaker>Not because I love it, because I needed to be independent <v Speaker>right now and to survive in this society and <v Speaker>to give my family what they need. <v Speaker>When I first got there it was hard. <v Speaker>I get a lot of looks along, a lot of statements here and there about my nationality. <v Speaker>But I want them to see the real <v Speaker>me, that they were wrong in their judgments, that <v Speaker>I am a person of integrity, wisdom, and <v Speaker>intelligence like they are.

<v Speaker>And I was an equal. [music] <v Speaker>[speaking traditional language] <v Speaker>Naturally, they got to slow down on the reservation. <v Speaker>It's all gravel. [music] <v Speaker>To me, I've always known to be Passamaquoddy

<v Speaker>when I was growing up because, you know, a lot <v Speaker>of people from the outside would oh, we don't have anything to do with them people. <v Speaker>You know, when that's how we grew up. <v Speaker>They'll talk to you, they'll you know do <v Speaker>a lot of things for you. But stay on your side. <v Speaker>You know? Don't enter my barbershop, you know, like like they used to have in Princeton. <v Speaker>You know, these guys- these older guys know what what it was. <v Speaker>Well, my mother was the one that <v Speaker>took ?Alford Scorby? down there. <v Speaker>You younger fellow, younger than I am. <v Speaker>And she took him down to see if he could get a haircut, you know, and the barber <v Speaker>refused him, and they was going to have him arrested. <v Speaker>But afterward, I guess he came to his senses <v Speaker>and started cutting Indian's hair.

<v Speaker>But that took a long time. <v Speaker>It took quite a while. It took quite a while. <v Speaker>But it happened. <v Speaker>He had to go to Callas to get a haircut. <v Speaker>Yeah. <v Speaker>But they wouldn't mind studing your bulls or anything else. <v Speaker>You know, one hour to get drunk on. <v Speaker>And you. <v Speaker>When my sisters, as you know, my age, when they were going to school downtown here, to <v Speaker>Princeton, the white- white kids would make fun of me cause, <v Speaker>you know, they- they- they all say something like, gee, you know, <v Speaker>we smell sweetgrass, you know, because the Indian girls just make sweetgrass <v Speaker>baskets, you know. Indians- Indian girls would say we smell horse manure. <v Speaker>[laughter] My sister <v Speaker>was telling me that awhile back. I laughed, you know. <v Speaker>They used to get into fights once in a while. <v Speaker>You know, girls, Indian girls and the white girls, you know. <v Speaker>But I guess after they get a little older, a little different, you know, they <v Speaker>change to some degree. <v Speaker>There's still problems.

<v Speaker>[talking over each other] Last summer. <v Speaker>Yeah, they were having fights right on the bridge. <v Speaker>Yeah, right on the line. <v Speaker>Down by the dock in Landon. <v Speaker>Same thing in East Point. Pleasant point. <v Speaker>That's all. <v Speaker>Some things will never change. <v Speaker>No. No change ever came. <v Speaker>But it must it must have been hard back in the 30s and 40s. <v Speaker>I went to school on 3 reservations ?inaudible? <v Speaker>And on pleasant point. But here we had non-Indian teachers <v Speaker>on the strip. She was well liked. <v Speaker>Her name was ?inaudible? And she'd never let us speak Indian, you know. <v Speaker>Yeah, it's taboo. <v Speaker>You know, if- if-if she hears you, then you're gonna get a slap <v Speaker>on her hand with a ruler. <v Speaker>You know, umpteen feet long [laughter] <v Speaker>They used to do that to me too on Pleasant Point. <v Speaker>That's when I was little one. <v Speaker>That's all I spoke was Passamaquoddy. And I had a hard time speaking English. <v Speaker>Oh, they beat it out of me and you know it's hard to get it back.

<v Speaker>I can understand it real good, but it is- it's like it was beaten <v Speaker>out of me. <v Speaker>[children speaking together] Birch Bark. <v Speaker>Masquemus. <v Speaker>[children speaking with teacher] Masquemus, birch tree. Pilasq, paper. Kchik, forest, ?kuwisk? pine tree. Kuw, <v Speaker>white Pine. <v Speaker>[drumming and singing] <v Speaker>Go, go, go, go. You go ahead. <v Speaker>Ready?

<v Speaker>[singing] <v Speaker>All I gotta do is walk around till big toe starts quivering [muffled talking] [chainsaw noises] <v Speaker>I've always raised kids, my aunt- my aunts, kids.

<v Speaker>They all always running around family drinking until 9 times out of 10, I was their <v Speaker>babysitter. So I've always- I've always brought up kids ever since I could <v Speaker>remember. <v Speaker>When you and Cindy got married, that's when you started adopting? <v Speaker>We had kids before that. <v Speaker>Oh Did you? <v Speaker>Yeah. <v Speaker>We were only together for about a year when we got our first one, April. <v Speaker>Mm hmm. <v Speaker>She's 20 now. <v Speaker>3 months old when we got to her. <v Speaker>3, 4 months, three months old when we got her, Cindy she <v Speaker>was only 17, 16. <v Speaker>I was 17 then. <v Speaker>I never had a father being raised. <v Speaker>When I was younger, mostly my grandmother and my mother and my sisters. <v Speaker>So I said in my mind, when I have kids, I'm going to make <v Speaker>sure I set a good example for them and be there for them. <v Speaker>That's my main goal. That's why I'm real close with my kids. <v Speaker>Being a father to me is the most

<v Speaker>fun challenge, challenging things I possibly have because I never <v Speaker>really had a dad. <v Speaker>No role model really. He was in and out and most of the time he was out. <v Speaker>And when he was home he was very abusive <v Speaker>mostly and all that stuff. <v Speaker>So I didn't learn much there. I mean, I learned a lot of negative things probably about <v Speaker>those most- The hardest things ever could be that. <v Speaker>Because I know I- when I stopped drinking I want to stop that cycle of <v Speaker>abuse and history. <v Speaker>And I wanted to do something different <v Speaker>for my kids. <v Speaker>I felt bad because I didn't have a male role model to look up to <v Speaker>because I missed out on a lot. <v Speaker>But a lot of kids in the community didn't have that role model either. <v Speaker>I still don't. No.

<v Speaker> Even when they did, you know, your father wasn't home much. <v Speaker>My father- my grandfather was a good role model for me. <v Speaker>But he was never home that much. <v Speaker>You know, he was always too busy at work. <v Speaker>And when he is working- when he isn't working. <v Speaker>Being the wood cutter- cutting wood for the women. <v Speaker>So he wasn't hardly ever home. <v Speaker>You know, my father was- my stepfather was always running around drinking, <v Speaker>running around with a woman. And I was you know, I still cared for him. <v Speaker>And he looks after me today. <v Speaker>But we don't have much of a relationship because I think of his guilt that he felt <v Speaker>what he what he put us through when we were younger. <v Speaker>I would like to have him part of my life, but that's his choice. <v Speaker>I mean your going to be a grampy pretty soon. <v Speaker>Yeah. <v Speaker>April- April's pregnant. <v Speaker>Yeah. She looked like she was ?inaudible? . <v Speaker>40 years old and I might be old already. [laughter] Time to retire. <v Speaker>?Tom? is a grandfather too.

<v Speaker>Extra responsibility, but it's a good responsibility. <v Speaker>Yep. <v Speaker>Yep <v Speaker>I was brought up with other siblings, my brothers. <v Speaker>I have six brothers and two sisters and it was really hard. <v Speaker>We were poor. <v Speaker>We've lived on the reservation and lived in an alcoholic home. <v Speaker>My mom was an alcoholic and my stepfather was an alcoholic. <v Speaker>It's kind of hard being brought up in a home like that because there's a lot of physical,

<v Speaker>emotional and verbal abuse. <v Speaker>And we were brought up that way and were brought up not to feel our feelings <v Speaker>and we did feel our feelings with, um. <v Speaker>We sacrificed being spanked for beaten for <v Speaker>showing our emotion. <v Speaker>I drank my first beer and I know I was, you know, something that I <v Speaker>could be addicted to. I didn't know what addiction was back then, but I knew it was <v Speaker>something. <v Speaker>Give me that glow and all and I like that feeling. <v Speaker>And what I'm doing is medicating all the hurt that I had inside because I was never <v Speaker>taught to express my feelings. <v Speaker>I always was taught to hold them all in and medicate. <v Speaker>That's what they taught me. You know, as I was being brought up, I remember <v Speaker>walking back and my- my grandfather's house, and it was right by the <v Speaker>long lake. And I remember feeling that connection. <v Speaker>Like, I feel like a presence around me ?inaudible?,

<v Speaker>taking care of me and that connection I had with the Earth. <v Speaker>I don't think I would survive without. There was a lot of times I didn't think <v Speaker>I was going to survive because of the hurt that was inside. <v Speaker>But actually, it was covered up by anger. <v Speaker>Anger was a person you see coming out. <v Speaker>I had bought them when I physically slammed my girlfriend against <v Speaker>the wall and my little boy was standing there and he was scared and <v Speaker>I went in as she was crying. I went to pick him up. <v Speaker>He was just about 1 1/2 years old, 2 years old <v Speaker>looking up at me with big brown eyes, and that innocence in his eyes and <v Speaker>it almost broke my heart just to see him. <v Speaker>Cry and looking up at me, you scared me. <v Speaker>And I went to go pick him up. <v Speaker>He didn't want nothing to do with me. He was scared him of me. <v Speaker>It broke my heart. It hurt me just to do that. <v Speaker>They have me to live to go through that same cycle we went through when we were kids. <v Speaker>And I had to stop that cycle with them.

<v Speaker>I couldn't go on the way I was going. <v Speaker>I just couldn't do it anymore. There had to be way out. <v Speaker>I didn't know any other way other than suicide <v Speaker>or something, but I had friends that had been in recovery before, <v Speaker>counseling. He was a good friend of mine, and he mentions <v Speaker>things about it and all and that those foreign to me recovery. <v Speaker>I had no idea what it was or anything. <v Speaker>What I was gonna get into. I was scared, and I was frightened. <v Speaker>So I did get into that. <v Speaker>And that was one of the best things I did in my life is to turn my life around. <v Speaker>I prayed to God, God or the Great Spirit that- give me something. <v Speaker>Some kind of sign that I'm on the right road and all that. <v Speaker>And he did. Every time I dealt with something, He gave me this freedom. <v Speaker>Unbelievable freedom. It might be a little small, but it was something. <v Speaker>It takes a while to heal all these different things in your life.

<v Speaker>I live the life of dysfunction for 30 years, destroying <v Speaker>myself. Seeking happiness- I was looking in all <v Speaker>the wrong places, had to look within myself and within <v Speaker>the earth. [music] <v Speaker>We pray that God will bless us with an understanding of his word, <v Speaker>that we may live it in our daily lives. <v Speaker>We pray to the Lord, Lord hear our prayer. <v Speaker>We pray for those who lead and guide us in faith, that they know <v Speaker>of the promises of God and repeat them to us. <v Speaker>We pray to the Lord. Lord hear our prayer.

<v Speaker>We pray for our community in a special way. <v Speaker>We pray for those who are hunting in this season that they do so <v Speaker>in safety. We pray to the lord, lord hear our prayer. <v Speaker>[music] <v Speaker>I really enjoy the quietness

<v Speaker>of walking up the river and setting traps. <v Speaker>You just hear some birds singing <v Speaker>different animals here, different animals and stuff and just looking for spots <v Speaker>to trap. <v Speaker>[rustling with tools] I remember my grandmother and grandfather. <v Speaker>They used to make, uh- my grandmother used to make baskets. <v Speaker>And I remember they had a little double- they never had motors back when I was a kid. <v Speaker>They had a double end canoe. <v Speaker>And every once while when they have a bunch of baskets, they-

<v Speaker>I used to go down the shore line and watch them when they leave. <v Speaker>That little canoe would be great full of baskets. <v Speaker>And then when they- when they come back in three, four hours later, their canoe would <v Speaker>full of food, fresh vegetables and stuff. <v Speaker>They wouldn't go and trade the baskets for food. <v Speaker>Muskrat house. <v Speaker>They build that for the winter. It's made out of grass and mostly all <v Speaker>grass. <v Speaker>We used to have a picture hall. <v Speaker>Where they show movies down Princeton, <v Speaker>and they used to have a place for tribal members, just sit to watch <v Speaker>the movies. The white side and the Indian side. <v Speaker>Now, back then, I didn't understand what was going on. <v Speaker>We just- When we go to the movies, we know where we always sit.

<v Speaker>But they used to- they used to call them <v Speaker>names and stuff. <v Speaker>Challenge him to a fight. <v Speaker>And, you know, there wasn't too many tribal members that turn a fight down, <v Speaker>but that's like today. <v Speaker>Just the teenagers doing that now. <v Speaker>[motor starting] But there's still a lot of discrimination. <v Speaker>That will never go away. [Off camera, man: Why do you think that?] <v Speaker>I don't know it just the way they were taught, I think. <v Speaker>[water sounds, barking]Well, <v Speaker>back in the old days, there was a lot of alcohol abuse.

<v Speaker>But since we had the land claims settlement that's turned <v Speaker>round, that's turned around 90 percent. <v Speaker>[Off camera, man: Why do you think that is?] Well, I think there's more jobs, more jobs <v Speaker>for the men and women and <v Speaker>they have responsibilities now. And so now, now you don't see all the- all <v Speaker>the drinking and stuff like I did back in growing up. <v Speaker>[water noises, heavy breathing] All the <v Speaker>old tribal members, they used to go out and get their own medecine that they need. <v Speaker>[rustling and heavy breathing] And, <v Speaker>uh, even

<v Speaker>today, there's still few that goes out and get the- they get the flag <v Speaker>root. <v Speaker>They say which is good for colds and stuff. <v Speaker>'Cause back in the old days at my grandmother's, they used to <v Speaker>make tea, ?ball? tea, and <v Speaker>on a woodstove, they always had a pot of tea going. <v Speaker>And there was always another pot for flag root. <v Speaker>You cook that like tea, too. <v Speaker>And they used to have that in most of the houses <v Speaker>starting in the fall through the winter months, and you just <v Speaker>sometimes you go over there, and they'll give you a cup of flag root. <v Speaker>[water noises] <v Speaker>Sometimes I just take my wife, we just travel the river and just be peaceful.

<v Speaker>You don't worry about nothing. You just enjoy the scene. <v Speaker>And it makes you feel good. <v Speaker>[boat motor sounds] <v Speaker>Ok, Francis, throw it up there. [kids talking and shouting] There you go. <v Speaker>Go ahead Mo. Feed the ducks, honey. <v Speaker>You almost got him in the head. [laughter] Uh-huh, don't throw any rocks. <v Speaker>. <v Speaker>Don't throw anything else. Let him get closer. <v Speaker>OK. <v Speaker>I have grandchildren. They do have Indian names. <v Speaker>We've got Nipawset which is the moon that you see early in the morning. <v Speaker>And then we have Tihtiyas who is a bluejay, and then

<v Speaker>we have Mihku. That's a squirrel. <v Speaker>So every one of us try to pick, you know, names that suits the child, and <v Speaker>they supposed to reflect from the clans. <v Speaker>And they're doing it more now than ever before. <v Speaker>They're trying to, I guess, bring back all the traditions that we have lost over a period <v Speaker>of years, which is gonna be nice. <v Speaker>The only thing that we're still missing right today is what we <v Speaker>used to have years ago, where if you came into my house so, no <v Speaker>matter if you're live 5 or 6 miles or 100 miles from here, you're welcome. <v Speaker>And if we were eating supper, you sit down and you eat with those people. <v Speaker>That was a good tradition. Everybody was good to each other. <v Speaker>[singing] [talking and laughing]. <v Speaker>Looks good. Hope you guys are hungry! [laughter]. <v Speaker>Go ask Grammy for a jacket.

<v Speaker>Go ahead. <v Speaker>[talking to each other, children shouting and laughing] [music] <v Speaker>Maine Public Television's production of Our Stories is made possible through a television <v Speaker>demonstration grant from a rural development, part of the USDA. <v Speaker>[music]