In Black America; Mouthpiece, with Michael and Pele Bennett

From the University of Texas at Austin, KUT Radio, this is In Black America. It's a company we end up working with and we did a show called Good Kid. We had been a while that me and Pella had been talking about during the podcast because we were like, you know what? There's not a lot of people out there talking about things as a couple, you know, raising marriage to be something strong, raising a family and talk about things like that as a couple and growing a business together. And also challenging society and social issues. And so we were like, you know, we should do a podcast, but we just kind of let some time pass. We kind of talked about a couple of times within we end up doing that show. And after the show, they were like, you guys are so good, you should do a podcast. And we were like, okay, let's do one. And so we just took it from there, really. Michael Bennett, former NFL defensive lineman and Super Bowl champion. Activities, author and co-host of mouthpiece. Also, Bennett is a New York Times best-selling author of things that make white people uncomfortable.

He and his wife, hey, like, run the Bennett Foundation with their children. Together, on their new podcast, the couple explores personal and provocative topics ranging from love, parenting, the NFL and politics. Bennett sees mouthpiece as another way of showing the impact that he and his wife has made beyond football. Prior to mouthpiece, the Bennett said work with Lemonade only once. On the network's third original podcast, Good Kids, How Not to Raise an A-Home. Since being picked up by the Seattle Seekhawks as an undrafted rookie in 2009, Bennett has had a long and lucrative career. Highlighted by three pole-ball nominations and a Super Bowl title with the Seekhawks in 2013. I'm Johnny Johansson Jr. and welcome to another edition of In Black America. On this week's program, mouthpiece with Michael and Kaylee Bennett in Black America.

We've just completed 11 years in the NFL. That was always a learning lesson. I personally started to evolve and grow and our family started growing. We went from one to now we have three girls. And so each year, it's still a curveball. It's almost like when you get pregnant again and you're like, oh, I have a baby, but you have to start all over again. And so each year is different for us because we did travel to different cities. And it's last year we were in two cities for the first time in one season. And so there was a lot of growth, I think, that happened between our marriage, our relationship, and then also our children. We really had to tackle so many different obstacles. But I think through all the adversity that we've been through throughout the years of ups and downs and just kind of learning the game and how do you balance life with children and still having your me time and self-care. I think that it continues to evolve. And sometimes when you think you got it, then you learn something else. And it keeps getting better, I will say. So I appreciate everything that has come with football, even though it has been stressful. But it has, we've learned, I think we have to say, to be honest, now we've really been good at being balanced as a family.

And we're getting better and better. Paley Bennett, wife of NFL defensive lineman, Michael Bennett. Paley is a superstar in her own right. She is a food advocate and has a passion for gardening. She's also a skilled Polynesian dancer. Together, the business that taken on everything from racial justice work to offering a children's book to parenting three daughters. Have I mentioned they also were high school sweethearts. On their new podcast produced by lemonade media, heard every Friday titled mouthfeet. They've been invited listeners and their guests into their professional and private lives to take on topics provocative and personal. From sitting out the national anthem of cheating their romance fresh. The conversation managed to be all things at once, hilarious, inquisitive and unfielded. The podcast designed to appeal not only to football fans, but also other merit couples. Recently, and I used that word loosely, in black America spoke with the business from a white public radio.

Aloha. Aloha. Aloha. I understand. For those who are not familiar with you, Michael, give us a little background about yourself, where you born and raised. I'm originally from Louisiana, but I kind of grew up between Texas and Louisiana with the college of Texas A&M. I ended up playing for Seattle Seahawks, and that's pretty much my journey. Did you run through Dallas for a while? I'm not playing for the Cowboys, but I don't know if that's a people want to hear that, because a lot of people hate the Cowboys. Like you say, you play for the Cowboys name, love you, or you say you play for the Cowboys, and you get punched through the stomach, either one. I understand. Paley, could you tell us about yourself? Yes, I am Pelle Bennett. I am from Houston, Texas, but I'm a descent from Polynesia, specifically, the San Juan Islands. And me and Michael both have a foundation, the Bennett Foundation, where we work on building communities through health, food, nutrition.

And how did you all meet? We actually met in high school in Houston. And who made the first move? Michael or you? No, I'm a gentleman. I'm a gentleman. I waited. I waited. She, I was holding out. She just kept trying so hard. Oh, here we go. Let me give her an opportunity. Oh. Is it like that? Yes, so that's what happened. So you are met in high school, and how long did it take you all to get married? Eight years. Eight years. I mean, we were so young, I was 15 when I first met him. So yeah, it was a good, good wall before we actually. Eight years. Got married. Michael, when did you know that you had a special gift playing football? It's, it was my mama said when I was in her belly, I used to always run inside of her stomach. So I guess you started when I was a baby. No, I'm joking.

I think I really started losing in her. I feel like I played football so time away in California, but I feel like when I moved to Louisiana, and I was like a city boy in the country, and I was able to compete in my grandpa's yard with the rest of the boys from all over the town. And I feel like, oh, I'm competing out here. So I feel like that's kind of when I knew I had some talent. I used to love playing football back home in Louisiana so much. I feel like that's where I kind of found my passion for it. And when you were in high school, what position did you play? You're the same position that you played in the pros and at A&M? No, actually, I played running back. My whole, really, I played running back all the way up to 11th grade. Like, I never played defense. I was just on offense. I mean, offense, I was always running back. So, you know, I got so tall, that was like, man. And you don't know if you want to play running back. I was just going to say that your body is not running back. Yeah. And I got tall all of a sudden. I went somewhere and it was like, oh, I'll play defense event. And there's like, oh, you played running back.

So you got like good feet and all that kind of stuff. So I was like, let me try it. And then it turned out to be a good decision. Felt like, what were some of your favorite activities? Why are you in high school? In high school, I doubled in sports. I did play softball. I was actually on the flag team, which a lot of people make fun of me. But that was a really fun experience. But I also grew up, my family, as for work, we had a Polynesian show. So I grew up dancing Polynesian performances. And we traveled all over the US doing that. So that was actually an activity that I did a lot in high school. So when you all got married, where did you all set up? Were you in Seattle at that time? Up LA and Michael? No, we were actually. Michael was with the Buccaneers at that time. And we were living in Florida. So did you all like Tampa? You know what? I heard it has changed a lot. And it's been happening in place now, but I'm at the time. I mean, we were just there for work. So everything really evolved around his career at that time. And we were really new into the NFL as well.

Did Selman still have the barbecue place? Why are you out there in Tampa? Who? Leroy Selman? Yeah, Leroy. Oh, man, Leroy Selman. I should love them barbecue wings and a bread. I mean, you can't miss Leroy Selman. You couldn't miss him on the way to the stadium. Yeah, you know, Louis, Dewey, Stewie. Coolie. They had all kinds of brothers. Right. The Selman brothers. They were so good. They were so good at football. But they're barbecue wings though. Me and Gerald McCoy used to do like 25 each. I said, I said, love going on Leroy Selman. So we used to go there all the time. Tell me about the Bennett Foundation, Paley. Yes. So we started our foundation actually out of Hawaii. When we moved here, and I'm my co-electric chemist with the idea because he saw an issue in Hawaii for different nutrition programs and physical education. And so he wanted to tackle it. And he brought it home to me with this idea. And we found the most amazing people to just kind of talk about issues on health and wellness.

And we started more so on the physical side of it. On how can we incorporate different programs and more education for the young students because a lot of the schools at that time didn't have that part of their curriculum. And so we got amazing people together. And we formed the Bennett Foundation, which now is still running. We are going into our six-year. And we're still fighting the same issues and, you know, being food advocates and talking about health and nutrition. And now our girls are along with us. Some of our closest friends, you know, we've made through our foundation. And a lot of communities, you know, I feel that we have made impact. But also they've made, you know, larger impacts on us, I think, to be honest. Has it been difficult for others to buy into you all's vision for the foundation? Yeah, I think so. I think sometimes when you move the places, like, are you helping in Hawaii? Like, people ask the question, why? Why are you doing this? So I think it takes a lot of times for people to understand why somebody wants to have kindness and give back what I'll action for anything in return. So, you know, it's almost like they feel like a little rare right in her. You know what I'm saying?

Like, they feel like eventually there's a wolf that's going to come out. But then the day was really just about us loving the community and giving back in a positive fashion. But it usually takes time for people to build an organic relationship, which we understood because you just don't pop up when people start loving you, especially when they don't know who you are. Is it who you are? Is it individual? What your family represent? And what is your foundation and principle built on as a collective as a family? So it takes some time, but we've gotten to the point where we feel like we've kind of made some headway here, Seattle, Houston. We've done a lot of things across America just for different sex of people. Why you were playing was it a mindset of always thinking about what are you going to do after football? I think it was a balance of that. I think it was a balance of that. I think sometimes in football you can't think about the future too much because you can't be in the present in the game. It's like if you think about if you get injured before the game then you think about it. It's like you can't think about what's happening in front of you. So as a fighter you always want to be able to defend yourself and you got to be there mentally. So I think on the offseason a lot of people think about what they're going to do.

That's when you mostly think about life at the football. You really don't think about during the season because during the season there's so many things happening. You got family, you got games, you got all these different things and massages, all these different things. You really don't have time to plan for the future. You're just trying to really try to conquer that one moment. Hey, how do you go about navigating time with the family but also understanding that you know Michael had a job playing football and trying to balance things or two? So you know what I think as we continued you know we just completed 11 years and then it felt that was always a learning lesson. And I think each year I personally started to evolve and grow and our family started growing. You know we went from one to now we have three girls. And so each year it's still a curveball. It's almost like when you get pregnant again and you're like oh I have a baby but you have to start all over again. And so each year is different for us because we did travel to different cities and it's last year we were in two cities for the first time in one season. And so there was a lot of growth I think that happened between our marriage you know our relationship and then also our children.

All of us really had to tackle so many different obstacles but I think through all the adversity that we've been through throughout the years of ups and downs and just kind of learning the game and how do you balance you know life with children and so having your me time and self-care I think that it continues to evolve and sometimes when you think you got it then you learn something else and it keeps getting better I will say. So I appreciate everything that has come with football even though it has been stressful. But it has, we've learned, I think we've to say to be honest now we've really been good at being balanced as a family. And we're getting better and better. Now I have some friends who are former football players and they wise they told me there's a hierarchy within each team depending on the status of the player. Is that so the case? I think that's in every fact of life. That's what I have to know. There's a hierarchy to see everything. I think the longer I think the players who've been in NFL it's really not a hierarchy. It's really just a respect. I think when people look at players who've played a long time in NFL they have a lot of respect for them because when the person played in NFL

for a long time they meet you watch them for a long time. And in the moment that you're in the locker room with them you become in awe and you become like, oh, okay, like this is you. You see what type of man they are. And I think a lot of times it's just a lot of respect. I understand. If you're just joining us I'm Johnny O'Hanston Jr. And you're listening to In Black America from KUT Radio. And we're speaking with Michael and Tayley Bennett with Lemonade Media and the podcast mouthpiece. How did you all come up with Lemonade Media? Oh, it's a company. We ended up working with them. We did a show called Good Kid. And it had been a while that me and Pella had been talking about doing the podcast because we were like, you know what? There's not a lot of people out there talking about things as a couple. You know, raising marriage to be something strong, raising a family and talk about things like that as a couple and growing the business together. And also challenging society and social issues. And so we were like, you know, we should do a podcast. But we just kind of let some time pass. We kind of talked about a couple of times. But then we ended up doing that show. They were like, you guys are so good.

You should do a podcast. And we were like, okay, let's do one. And so we just took it from there, really. How do you all decide to come up with a program podcast topic? Or you all just start talking and one thing leads to another. A lot of times that does happen one thing leads to another. But not with guests though. Well, guests I think is pretty much we are picking the people that we feel like we want to share information with. Things that we don't even know. But also things that other people don't know that they can get help on. Or they can have a better understanding of what's happening in their community, what's happening in society. So we choose a lot of guests by that. Like we talk about the different issues with race, police, things that was happening in the NFL. Things that was happening with their marriage. So we talk about a lot of different things. And we kind of just pick topics that we're really passionate about. And things that we really want to understand. We want to highlight as well. And people we want to highlight that people might not know that's relevant. Their work is relevant today. But themselves personally are not relevant today. So we like to recycle and go back and bring them back to light and let them tell their story. I'm looking at some of the podcast that have already aired.

And I'm going to go through some of them. And I hope you all speak to it. Croc Pot Love. What was that about? That was really about the essence of being in a relationship and understanding that love and everything doesn't come instant. It takes a croc pot. Like you're the simmer and throw in different things of happening in your relationship. And at the end of all that bubbling, at the end it takes a long time to make something really strong. And this generation where things have to be instant. If you don't get it, instant gratification, then you move on. You feel wrong. And we love you can't do that. Because there's going to be some highs. There's going to be some lows. There's going to be some trauma. There's going to be some death. There's going to be all types of things that shape a relationship. And when you have a croc pot, you slowly throw different ingredients in. And in love, all different ingredients happen at different times. I understand. Go ahead, Paley. Oh, no, I was agreeing with Michael because it is when we say croc pot, when you're talking about throwing ingredients, you're talking about throwing in cities, right? Moving around,

you're talking about children. I was going to say mother-in-law's father-in-law's family. You know, it's just ups and downs. But I think because a lot of people see that we've been together as children, they say, oh, you guys have been together so long. You know, you've lasted. It's been great. But that, to me, to be honest, was harder to be together as a young couple because now we're so young and we're evolving into adults. But now, how do we let each other evolve into an adult and learn these new things that we didn't know each other liked? You know, and it's as simple as that. But it was, I think, it was a journey for us to really learn and together. And it's not as easy as it looks. It is as easy as it looks. Don't believe that people. Now I'm joking. But it's an ox tail because we were talking about ox tail. You know, making some great Jamaican ox tail. You put in, you put in all the ingredients and you have to cook that ox tail for so long to make it that gravy, the southern charm. So, you know, we think we like to think that ox tail is the type of love that we want to be. Oxails are tough. Hey, you brought up a point about moving. What was that like moving from city to city

you have to take the girls out of school? And I would assume if it happened close to the beginning of the season, the moving part fell on you. You are correct. No, that is correct because of his job. You know, the first time we moved, we were in Seattle and we had just got settled for about two weeks. And Michael got a call and said, hey, I think I'm going to be picked up by another team. And you know, we're still new to this. So, I said, okay, that's fine. And I said, when do you find out? He goes within an hour or two. The hour she came and he goes, I got the call. I said, what's going on? He was like, I'm going to the book and ears. And at that time for me, you know, I'm like, what's the book? That's a long commute from Seattle to Tampa Bay. We went across the nation. And I said, what are you leaving? And he goes, well, I'm leaving tonight. And so, it's as instant as that, as not your role has turned upside down. But it is because you're throwing into that unknown and now it's like, okay, planning. It's like survival mode at that moment because you're like, okay, what do I do? We just moved into a place. We have so many things. And at that time, we already had a daughter. And so, everything gets flipped.

So, you just got to go. And I think that's where I learned in the beginning is that, like, these curve balls are thrown at you. And it's, to be honest, it's not. I can't dwell on it. You just got to go. You got to go. And so, you got to come with that next plan. And so, I will say that we have been lucky to be in two cities for, you know, good amount of years. We were in Tampa for four in Seattle for five. So, only within the last two years, did we really bounce around? So, I really have to commend the other families that are doing this on a regular basis that, you know, I thought I understood, but now I truly understand. And it's a lot of work. Have you all addressed the divisiveness that's been going on in the country for the last couple of years or maybe longer? It's part of you all's podcast on my piece. Yeah, we're talking about everything. That's what I was saying. I was always saying with so much things going on in America and there's a couple that's not a lot of people talking about it as a finding out. And to think about it, I like about our show is that we, most of the time, we don't always agree on the outcome of the issue or how the issue should look, but we do understand that the things should change. And so, we address all that.

We address the presidency. We address racism within the workplace, racism within the NFL, racism around the world. And gender equality with women. So we talk about a lot of things that are happening in America and raising our kids in this society. Was it looked like when school violence is high or like all these different things in the depression of society? So we talk about all that stuff. I think that's what we want to be an unfiltered, vulnerable conversation within ourselves. But also to know that within a marriage, because we want to highlight being married, is that it's okay to have those conversations in the house. You know, a lot of times people say, oh, no, I can't talk about that with my husband and my wife, her family, their family. You know, so many people have these strong beliefs and religious backgrounds. There's so many different things that come into play. But I think for Michael and I, we love to have those debates or conversations within our house. And I think that's what's beautiful about doing that within a marriage. Is that, yes, you're not going to agree in so many ways, but at the end of the day, you still love each other. You're going to keep moving forward. And also, you have children now. So a lot of those issues roll over into conversations that we have with our daughters and our oldest is 13.

And so she's at an age where she does understand what's going on. And she's also very curious as well. She's a lot of questions, you know, a lot of thoughts, opinions, emotions. And so we keep that really clear as we can have this open dialogue within our home, within our marriage. And to let people know that it's okay to have that, you know, you can still live and, you know, live together and things will still happen for you. Can you give me an example, maybe about five minutes of a topic. If I pick the topic, you all can have a brief discussion on it. Yeah. I think about the DWI and drinking. Okay. I mean, for us DWIs, it gets personal, because there's a lot of people who get DWIs, and there's people who are affected by the person who wants to drink and drive. I think that's the thing that when you see so many people that have trauma from somebody who has a DWI, not only somebody having a drinking issue, but also the possibility of they being a Rick with somebody who was just innocent. And every time I think about DWI, I just think about negligence of somebody else's. Like, you could be driving and somebody else could be drinking

and you have nothing to do with the drinking and you end up dying. I was watching this thing on CNN and these four mothers, these two mothers and their three daughters were going on a volleyball trip and they were just driving at five o'clock and then somebody drove off the road and a DWI and just killed them. And it's like, they were just having their normal day doing everything right. And then you could be impaired and make one mistake and ruin somebody's whole life. Yeah. I think that's important to have conversations within your home and having that support system where you have people holding you accountable to say, hey, slow down or hey, stop or I'm seeing something. But I think it also triggers different ways because it does trigger emotions through drinking. You know, like you said, trauma through drinking. So there's so many different aspects you do have to notice that. So I think it's important to have people that hold you accountable, that call you out, that notice these things, but that you can also lean on when you need that support. But it's almost like, too, it's like why I put yourself in a situation that could change your whole life, like just get Uber people, get Uber. $5 Uber ride will save you a life in prison. $5 Uber ride will stop you from trauma.

$5 Uber ride will keep you having a driver license. Just use Uber, whatever it takes. It's too easy now. But sometimes that is easier said than done also. Yeah, because everybody feels like I'm a better drink. I'm a better driver when I'm drunk. Oh, yeah. I know a lot of people personally that have said I'm a really good driver while I'm drunk because I'm so focused. People out there, if you listen into the show today, download some type of app. I know a long time ago you would have never get in the car with a stranger. It sounds like a scary movie, which black people, this would be the part where black people died in the movie, where they were getting the car and then the guy will kill them. But now it's cool to get in somebody's car. Could you imagine that? That actually is an issue also. And there has been issues. And it's being dangerous to go in cars like that. Los Angeles, you picture growing up. You know, so it's like you're kind of fighting all these different pictures growing up that you would like be in a getting a strange car with a strange person and give them your home address. Oh, definitely not. Especially if you're intoxicated. Yeah, so you still got to be careful too. But at the same time, be responsible when you drive in.

Don't let one of your mistakes ruin your life. Be supportive to a friend and almost be responsible for them also. Good friends don't let friends drive home drunk. I know that's right. What is especially about living in a white? Oh, where do we start? I think it's I think for me growing up watching my wife's culture, you know, as an African American person, you kind of don't have a lot of the pieces to your history, your dance, your music, your sound. I mean, those pieces, but it's not in the hole where you can just take it and understand everything that's happened or things about the culture. But with the Polynesian has been so long. And so seeing that and seeing the culture how it is, you kind of just, you kind of, it kind of sweeps you up with love kind of and you kind of, it kind of embraces you. And I think when you come to Hawaii, you see it in full flesh. You see the sense of Ohana. You see all these different things, the culture of Polynesian. I saw a long time growing up and it's beautiful. I was going to say we were together, you know, during high school. And so I was already performing and both my parents are from San Juan.

And so Hawaii was always such a distant place, you know. But we kept the culture so strong within our family through being performing food traditions and so Michael during high school. You know, he got to see me perform and he was over when we had large family get together. We had him every Sunday. So we had Polynesian food and music. And so I think he did already get a little taste of that. But then when we were able to come to Hawaii together as a family with our oldest daughter, it was in completely different change. And I think what he's seen there, he really felt even more being in Hawaii. So there is a sense of community in love and you feel it. It's a different vibe. And I think that's what kind of hit him when he came here the first time. He goes, okay, Pelle, one day I'm going to move here. And I said, okay, Michael, we'll see. And it happened. So I'll has the podcast reception been thus far. I think it's been great. I think podcasting is a thing that you really don't understand how much time is I guess when you do radio, you kind of understand the amount of work that you put in. But for us, you don't realize how much work you have to do podcasts and edit and doing all these different things. So I think it's been, that part's been, it's been good though. It's a lot of work.

It's also been good being able to work with my wife on something that I think is, for a long period of time, it's been, we've been doing separate things. And it's like nice to be able to come to work and have stuff to talk about. But then I also think the podcast is being picked up very well. I think people were expecting it just to be heavy sports. They weren't expecting it to be about real, real issues. When you all got together, you said you are homeschooled girls to allow you out of flexibility to do what you all do. So we actually just started homeschool this last school year. So they're in the second semester now. Yeah, we use the online program, so it kind of works. Other than the flexibility, what do you all enjoy about homeschooling versus sending them off to, you know, the public school or private school? You know, I'll say to have, to know the kids are there literally at home and feeling that safety and feeling that bubble of, you know, safety andness and warmth that they're within arms reach. You know, just being protective with everything going on in the world and everything's happening.

For me, it's really to be protective of them. And I know I can grab them or hug them, kiss them. You know, they're right there within arms reach. For me, that's important. Mike, I also understand that you're a novelist. You wrote a novel of things that make white people uncomfortable. Yeah. It's a very interesting book. What were you stating in that book? I was just talking about the state of politics in America and the history of police violence, the history of athletics in NCAA and trauma that happens to players when they play in an NFL and things that can happen to them after. And also talking about my relationship with my wife and my children and how, how important it is for men to be able to have emotions and break down these emotional barriers so they can be able to love properly. Michael Bennett, former NFL Defense Assignment and Super Bowl Champion, activist, author, and co-host of my piece. If you have questions, comments, those suggestions ask your future in Black America problems. Email us at inBlackAmerican at kut.org. Also, let us know what radio station you heard is over.

Remember to like us on Facebook and to follow us on Twitter. The views and the themes expressed on this program are not necessary those of this station or of the University of Texas at Austin. You can hear previous programs online at kut.org. Until we have the opportunity again for technical producer Damon Alvarez, I'm John L. Hanson Jr. Thank you for joining us today. Please join us again next week. CD copies of this program are available and may be purchased by writing in Black America CDs. KUT Radio, 300 West Dean Keaton Boulevard, Austin, Texas, 78712. That's in Black America CDs, KUT Radio, 300 West Dean Keaton Boulevard, Austin, Texas, 78712. This has been a production of KUT Radio.