In Black America; Rabbit: The Autobiography of Ms. Pat, with Patricia Williams

From the University of Texas at Austin, KUT Radio, this is In Black America. It was rough because I thought a black community that really was a little bit below middle class people didn't have a lot but they worked and they were a family. I saw all of that tear apart and you got all these people on drugs and here I am with two kids by a married man and 15 can't get a job so I started to do what I saw all the people in my community do which was sell drugs so I started to sell crack to survive. It wasn't easy. I tell you, as a girl in the street the way I was, I don't even know what high. I'm still alive, I was shocked twice in abuse relationship. Sometimes I look big and like I don't even know how to survive, I must be a kid. Patricia Miss Pat Williams, stand up comedian, actress and author of Rabbit, the autobiography

of Miss Pat, published by Harper Collins Publishers. Growing up in Atlanta, Georgia during the crack epidemic, Williams lived in a home with nine other people. There was a grandfather who owned the house, a mother and a boyfriend, her sister and three brothers and her two uncles. Also, none of her relatives ever had real jobs. You could say Williams came from a family of self-employed entrepreneurs, a grandfather ran a bootleg house out of his living room, one of uncle's robbed people and her aunt sold her food stamps. By the time Williams was 15, she was a single mother with the eighth grade education with no money and no job skills and two babies under the age of two. In 2004, she discovered her calling, making people laugh. I'm John L. Hanson Jr. and welcome to another edition of In Black America. On this week's program, Rabbit, the autobiography of Miss Pat with Patricia Williams, In Black

America. Well, yeah, because he, I was used to taking care of him, he was paying my rent, you know, I was, I was supposed to be in my head, I thought I was the main cheek. You go out and do what you want to do, you know, you take care of me and the two kids I got by him. When he went to jail, I didn't have a deer, I didn't have anybody to pay my rent, but I still had two kids, and I'm 16 years old that I had to take care of. So I just did, that's how I got into selling drugs. I did what I saw deer, deer. And once, once I started, and I remember making my first thousand dollars, I was like, oh my God, I'm rich, I'm rich. And I actually thought I was rich. And I just said, I just kept doing it. And when he got out of jail, I no longer needed him. For a woman now living as a bourbon life in a small town, I sighed of Indianapolis. But Patricia Miss Pat Williams has come a long way from her days in the 1980s when she sold crack for a living. Mind you, the street life was all she knew back then.

Her grandfather sold moonshine from a makeshift bar he had in his living room. And none of her relatives ever had a real job. She survived on ketchup sandwiches and slept on the floor. Williams and her sister, Sweetie, were danced with the drunks at her mother's direction, and would rob them once they went to sleep. For years, during a childhood, Williams experienced psychological and physical abuse, both from her mother's boyfriend and from the father of her first two children. At early 1997, Williams began to turn a life around. She earned a GED, and it was difficult to work as a medical assistant. But her past kept getting in the way. So after a case worker noticed Williams' untapped talent, she could make people laugh. Recently in Black America caught up with Williams while she was back in Atlanta to attend a Falcons football game. Man, that's where it went down at the lookahouse. There's plenty in the story about what went on at the lookahouse, but what made your dad

your granddad go into that type of work? I don't know. My granddad, he was always had his own little business at his house. He's always so serious. I don't, you know, I was a kid. So this is all I know of my grandfather, his cell and moonshine. He used the first entrepreneur that I met. And what brought you to the point to actually write this book? They paid me. No, you know, I always, when I started to tell my story of what I went through, people I was like, oh, you got a book, you should write a book, and I would tell people, look, I'm married, I got kids, you know, I got a new set of Craig babies. I don't have time to write no book. I jumped out of school in eighth grade. I got a GED. I'm too busy. And I just said, I said, Lord, if it's a book here, send me somebody who can spell. And in pop this lovely lady named Janine. She came about and she heard me on a podcast and she was like, you have a story. And I just pulled it all out for and she helped me put it together.

And that's how rabbi became about. And we sold it to Hopper College. Tell us about your mom. My mom was a, as young as I can remember, my first, my first, my first, my first, my first memory we lived in the bootleg house with my granddaddy. And she used to drink and gamble and stuff like that and she wasn't the best mom. I grew up later on in life really hating her, but then I realized she had us where she was handed. So I had to learn to forgive her, like a lot, like just a lot of stuff, overlooking stuff that you should never overlook with your kids. Like she didn't protect us like we were supposed to be protected. So I grew up with a lot of that anger, you know, being mad at her for the things that I went through. And, you know, in chapter five, it tells you a story about what her boyfriend did. And that's a story I never told anybody. It took me 35 years to tell that story. You talking about Mr. Janine? Yes.

I never utter a word of that. And when I got ready to tell it to put it in the book, I actually started shaking and I called my sister and I was like, do you remember this? And she said, yeah. And I was like, I'm ready to talk about it. You mentioned in the book that you somewhat got over it, but your sister, sweetie, had a more difficult time getting past all that? Yes. My sister, you know, I turned, I think with me, I just put everything in a closet and say, I can't dwell over stuff. I don't have control over. I think with my sister to deal with her pain, she turned to alcohol and drugs. And to this day, she's still doing the same thing. And when you go to talk to her about these things, all she want to do is cry now. So I know for a fact, that's how she dealt with her pain. You know, the way my mama let me and touch her and at a young age, like the youngest eight years old, everything that went on in the bootleg house with us, you know, everything that went Mr. John did to us and went so many other people did to us.

I just think that's how she dealt with her pain with alcohol. I think a lot of my escape came from watching a lot of TV because when I watched Leave It The Beaver, it caught me out of that house for them 30 minutes on an hour. I understand that you all didn't eat that much until Granddad actually took the chain off the refrigerator. You know what it was, time to eat. Well, Granddad was old school, you know, he's there to open your fridge right now, not that Granddad out here, one of those chains on this freezer that you pull a truck with, you know, you pull a car on your car and he will wrap that thing around it to a couldn't fit no more and put two padlocks on it. So I don't care how first that you were, you wasn't getting in that fridge. You better lick that condensation coming out the side of that old yellow refrigerator. He was not getting that refrigerator to granddad to say you get in the refrigerator. Now also when you were at Granddad's liquor house, when some of the drunks went to sleep,

your mom had you picking their pockets. What were you thinking back then? That was my very first job, I hated it, but I also did it because it was my mama and I was told to do it, but I was also, I was praying that they will wake up, miss their money and never come back. And it was something that I hated doing and as a kid, I was as young as seven or eight, I can't really remember, but I would say stuff like, in my mind, why don't you do this? Because you know, when drunk people wake up and catch your name pocket, they'll hit you in the head. I'm like, you could take a punch better than I could. I couldn't understand, you know, why did she make me do stuff like that? And then I realized it was a hustle for her and me because she was giving me a dollar per wallet. And that was pretty good money for eight, you know, and I know that's right. Life's changed when your granddad shot Miss Betty. Tell us about that experience.

We was in the house watching Rafflin, I think, or either Walter Concrack or those are two things I watched with my grandfather. And she came in and acted like a fool and he told her to get out and he pushed out and he took out my grandaddy 38, he had like three or four nicknames, one on one 38 because he carried two guns in each pocket and he literally took those pistols like his pocket and shot that lady with both pistols. Put the gun down and say, call the police, but put a, put a moonshine out first. And I'm setting up thinking like, he just shot this lady. I mean, the first thing to go with her finger, I never forget it. We see movies, boys in the hood, the wire, New Jack City, but you actually live through this crack epidemic. For those who aren't familiar with the real deal, tell us what was it actually like living through that experience? I was in, it was, it was rough because you saw, I saw the black community that really was a little bit below middle class.

People didn't have a lot, but they worked and it was a family. I saw all of that tear apart and you, you got all these people on drugs and here I am with two kids by a married man and 15 can't get a job. So I started to do what I saw all the people in my community do, which was sell drugs. So I started to sell crack to survive. It wasn't easy. I tell you, as a girl in the street, the way I was, I don't even know what high. I'm still alive. I was shot twice in abuse relationships. Sometimes I look back and like, I don't even know how I survive. I'm a big cat. You talked about butterfly and later on in the book, you said someone came around looking for their daughter that was totally different. She was a spellman student and now she was one of your testers. That type of experience seeing someone that was vibrant and then seeing what crack had done to her. That, that was really an eye opening for me. The seeded girl who had it all, she ended up in such a nice school like Spammer, but

across the street is the ghetto from Spammer to get hooked on drugs and see a mom that really came out there screaming and crying and kicking for her child to come up out of the street. And I remember looking at this lady so many times, chasing her crack, her daughter who's on crack who's supposed to be in college. And dang, I wish I had a mom that cared that much. And this lady kept tears in her eyes, begging her, you know, child to come up out of the street. I understand. If you're just joining us, I'm Johnny Ohensson Jr. and you're listening to End Black America from KUT Radio and we're speaking with Patricia Mispat Williams, stand up comedian actress Ryder and author of Rabbit, the autobiography of Mispat. Mispat, what sprung you with Derrick? I mean, you just couldn't get Derrick out of your life or your mind to save your life, so to speak. You know what? Derrick is the first person in my life that really paid me any attention.

And he said those magic words, I mean, something I wasn't used to hearing, he said, I love you. I didn't, I didn't grew up hearing somebody say, I love you. I grew up trying to survive thinking that I only cared about myself, even though I had a mom there and a step daddy there and a granddaughter there. It was always, I was always in a survival mode. With Derrick, you know, he made me feel like, he made me feel like I was worse being loved until eventually until he got what he wanted. A much older man, I was 12 when I met this man and he was 22, but I mean, he really, he really made me think that he really loves me and I fell all hell over here, feel for him. I mean, here I am, a young girl, first time I really ever had a solid man figure in my life because Grenada went to jail and a step daddy ran off and left. I mean, I was happy as a kid in the ice cream shop in the beginning. You talk about him picking you up and taking you to school, you're the only one in elementary

school to have somebody with a car. Yeah, I was a, I used to say, why are y'all boyfriend and they got no car? Why do they only bike? I understand, your other three siblings, sweetie had a problem, but your other two brothers, they were in and out of jail, basically all your childhood? Yeah, I had, I had three brothers on the floor, my brother was in and out of jail, they whole childhood. Literally, I think they just stopped going to jail. My one of my brother got like 15 years for stealing and he stopped stealing about 20 years ago, but they whole childhood was in and out of juvenile in jail. It was a revolving doe for them. Once you started slinging to use one of the street binoculars, when you look back at it, when Derek actually took you over Marquis House, what were you thinking? When Derek, oh, oh, he's cousin, when he first started, he came back and it quit his job

and, you know, he was rolling at the time, but after that, you decided that you wanted to get some, well, he had gone to jail, so you had to make a move before yourself. Well, yeah, because he, I was used to Derek taking care of me, he was paying my rent, you know, I was, I was supposed to be in my head, I thought I was the main cheek. You go out and do what you want to do, you know, you take care of me and the two kids I got by him. When he went to jail, I didn't have a deer, I didn't have anybody to pay my rent, but I still had two kids and I'm 16 years old that I had to take care of. So I just did, that's how I got into selling drugs, I did what I saw Derek did. And once, once I started, and I remember making my first $1,000, I was like, oh, my God, I'm rich. I'm rich. I asked because he thought I was rich and I just said, I just kept doing it. And when he got out of jail, I no longer need in him because I was making my own money and taking care of my own kids.

I found someone interesting, I wanted to talk about this before I talked about Derek. You all were baptized so many times just to make ends meet or get a meal. Your mom was taking you to church to church. That's what black, that's back when the black community really cared about you. I don't know if you remember this. I'm from Atlanta, but if you were in need of anything, food of anything, the church will ask you just join the church and we will help you with financial food or whatever. And my mama neighbor hipped her to it and she just started taking us to different church. And honestly, I don't go to church, I do believe in God. I was going to follow the girlfriend and I just said, you know, I was baptized 25 times. She's like, who the heck, baptized you 25 times? And when she told me she was baptized, once I'm like, well, who baptized? You once, that's when I realized it was a scheme. Tell us about Miss Troop and English Avenue Elementary. Miss Troop was like a third or fourth grade teacher and I was a dirty kid with a nappy hair. Nobody cared how I went out of dough.

And she just, she took up time and she started to wash my clothes and she would brush my teeth and comb my hair and she would always have something extra there for me because you can look at me and kind of tell what was going on at my house. And she to I'm 45 and I always give her credit for lighting that fire in my heart. She told me something that I never forget. She said, Patricia, you could do and be anything in this world you want to be. All you got to do is dream. God, I understand. Once you decided to live that life, what was something that you had to make or did you make any adjustments from from from what you were doing prior to holding down the laundry mat front? I didn't add to it was hard because you know, I grew up watching everybody hustling my whole life. My wife, my brother didn't steal my uncle's steal, my grandad in moonshine, my mama's steal. So I turned into a drug dealer. So when I met my husband and I started, he was like, hey, people get jobs.

I'm like, for what? My first job was at McDonald's and I could not believe people was working for six dollars or seven dollars an hour. It blew me away. I'm like, who the heck can live on this? Well, I'm used to making thousands of dollars a day. Tell us about Portia and Mercedes. Your nemesis while you were in school. Well, those are the girls that picked on us. You know, we was dirty. Our hat was nappy and they, you know, they was, they was well kept kids. So, you know, they picked on us all the time, not knowing what was going on at our house. The thing is true, you know, she would clean me up and, you know, brush my hair and they kind of laid out for me, but they stayed on my sister a lot. And you know, that's why I came stand to this day. I cannot stand to see kids in me. A dirty kid always remind me of rabbit and it makes me so angry because I know how that kid really feel when they go to school and they're, they're not as well kept as other kids, it irks the crap out of me.

I don't know what the, it's thinking of rabbit. How did you come up with that nickname? My mama had a boyfriend by the name of Curtis and he told me if I eat a lot of carrots, my eyes was going to turn blue, I was going to have pretty eyes. And so I just kept eating carrots and nothing ever changed. They say if you don't know, you don't know. Tell us about when people were trying to school you and particularly about, you know, you made a lot of money and then you bought this audacious ride that, you know, like you said it said billboard, you know, drug dealer that it's you needed to, you know, kind of calm down and not be so flashy. And then the kind of furniture you were purchasing with your money. I was just, I just say I was a particular, I was just a typical drug dealer. I mean, you know, when you ain't used to nothing and you get a little money, you get crazy. It's almost like a basketball player, they blow that first check. I wanted everything with glitz and glamour, I didn't have to eat, you know, catch up sandwiches

no more. I discovered Chick-fil-A and told black to the y'all are crazy to each other. I purchased a car when I was 16, didn't even have a driver's license. I don't learn those license and I used to ride around with crackheads in the car who had a valid license. So if I get pulled over by police, they couldn't say, hey, you don't have a valid driver because you're under age. And I just, I had the nicest apartment, thousand, I probably had a thousand dollars a month back in the early 90s and a nice furniture, everything or kids should have. I was 16 with this stuff and I was taking care of my kids father and sister kids. I'm glad you brought that up. You also, at one point, was taking care of your sister's sweeties' kids and your kids, why did you take on that tremendous responsibility? I took my sister's kids because the defect worker was going to take them here in Atlanta. And again, when I see kids in a crisis like that, it always remind me of red.

And I truly believe that every child deserves a solid foundation to start on. You can, we can not punish kids for being born into a massive situation. When I took those kids, I was 18 years old, off the back, I had six kids and a new relationship. And I was, I was willing to risk my relationship with my husband to say these four family members. What was it like having to prepare your mother's funeral when you were, what, 16? It was, I had never been to a funeral before and I wanted to make sure she went out really night. So, and my mom used to love the young and the rest of it. So I bought her a, so I bought her a, a Negla J. I buried in a Negla J and I had no clue that's what you buried dead people in. And I remember the guy that funeral, like, you sure you want to do this?

And I was like, I sure do. And boy, the people showed up at that funeral. And they was like, why is your mama dressed like she about to go and stand on the corner? I think just brother Drake made that comment also, didn't he? Yes, he's like, why you got mama looking like a hole? The first time you went out with your sister, you met Derek. The second time, I think you went out with Stephanie and you met your current husband. What was that experience like? It was kind of, you know, you call him nerdy, but he was really dead to have your back. My husband had just got out of the military. He was 21 and was not my type, you know. I was used to them street guys, you know, I wasn't used to about respecting me and stuff like that. The most manable person, you know, and I don't tell this a lot on the interview. I thought something was wrong with him. I was like, this is gay, he's too nice, because you know, you meet these guys in the street and then the first thing they do is they want

to jump you. I mean, nice and tuck me out and treated me. I mean, I was blown away after this can't be real. So it's totally different dealing with the last one. Because the last one wanted to punch you in your eye every Friday, this dude is one to have a lovely conversation while rain drops. When you were putting all these sauce together, are there some parts that was really too painful for you to want to put on paper? A lot of it they cut out, but yes, it took us two years to write this book and I tell you, we cried so much, my face lost weight. Not the rest of me, just my cheeks trimmed down by probably about 30 pounds. What was it like that first day or that first night you got on stage and you was talking about your family and some of the things that you went through? You know what? The first night I went up and I did it and they started to laugh and I was like, uh, this isn't easy. All I got to do is tell my business and I started researching comedies and stuff and see

how much they made. I was like, Richa probably made this kind of money from telling his business. I tell my business every day on the phone for my girlfriend for free. So what is it like living outside of Indianapolis now? Like a great night. You open the book saying that you know, once you all moved into the neighborhood, an angel later brought you a cake and you had to call Jeannie to find out what was going on. You and my other friend lived in the white neighborhood already, so I called through and I was like, uh, this white woman bought me a cake. Uh, she like, she like, girl eat that cake. She just don't want you to break in a house and I gotta tell you, that was one of the best I can't, I can't, I can't knock on the door. I'm still depressed. You make me another cake. I know that's right. I also understand you've been nominated for NAACP Image Award and the category of outstanding literary work debut. How does that feel? I think I'm still riding that high. You know, this is a little book that would not stop. So I'm

blown away. I didn't expect all of this from this book. All of this from me telling my story. You know, I'm glad I did my story because there's so many people coming forth saying how they've been violating their lives and every woman that comes out each and every day. I said, I know the feeling of holding that message. So I'm really blown away about this book and you know, what is doing and how it's coming along. I think I still need to be pissed. How are your children taking it? They're, they're, they're proud of me. You know, I feel people all the time. Most of the time, people try to, the kids try to make their parents proud. I've always worked my whole life trying to make my kids proud of me because especially my first set of kids, which I call my Medicaid, they know where I came from. And they're so proud of me. And I've never really had anybody proud of me in my life. But my kids are my biggest cheerleaders. How do you want readers to come away with once they've read the book?

I want people to never give up because you just never know. Tell your story. Don't hold it in. Let me learn how to laugh at the bull cropping your life because that's what healed me when I became a comedian. Each time I told these dark and crazy stories, I began to heal. I began to forgive people. I might, you know, I began to, my heart became lighter. So I don't do anything. Now go ahead and finish your statement. If you don't tell, I tell people all the time, if you don't take nothing out of this book, learn how to laugh at the crap in your life. Because when you can laugh at the pain that you've been through, then you got control of that situation. I got, I finally got control of my life. Do you have a chance or have you had a chance to, to visit or hear about some of the people that you are on the block with, particularly Doug? I talk to Doug all the time. I found him when I was writing the book. He's doing fine. Good, good. When the movie coming out?

I don't know. I don't know. I'm saying my things across. I think it'll be a good one. When you look at, back at your, your life as it is now, what would you do differently if possible? Finish school. Now become a convicted fellow. A problem in life. I mean, my struggle, I can't say I wouldn't want to change my struggle because I don't want anybody to go through what I went through as a kid. Patricia Mispad Williams standing up comedian, actress and author of Rabbit, the autobiography of Mispad. If you have questions, comments, those suggestions ask your future in Black America programs. Email us at in Black America at kut.org. Also, let us know what radio station you heard us over. Remember to like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter. The views and opinions expressed on this program are not necessarily those of this station or of the University of Texas at Austin. You

are going to have previous programs online at kut.org. I'm sure we have the opportunity again for technical producer David Alvarez. I'm Daniel Hanson, Jr. Thank you for joining us today. Please join us again next week. CD copies of this program are available and may be purchased by writing in Black America CDs. KUT Radio 300 West Dean Keaton Boulevard Austin, Texas 78712. That's in Black America CDs. KUT Radio 300 West Dean Keaton Boulevard Austin, Texas 78712. This has been a production of KUT Radio.