In Black America; Delora Evans, (Former Addict and College Graduate; Part 1

From the University of Texas at Austin, KUT Radio, this is In Black America. But the root cause of why am I needing to do this and in a person who are just experimenting right now, tell yourself, don't tell yourself what that's not going to happen to me and they didn't do drugs right, don't tell yourself that, tell yourself that whatever happened to all those other drug addicts could probably happen to me if I keep on. Because the disease will progress, it's not going to get better, it always gets worse. Dr. Laura Evans, Evans spent almost 20 years of her life abusing drugs and living on the streets of Dallas, Texas. She was in and out of rehab five times and saw her today you wouldn't believe what she had gone through.

On December 13, 2008, she graduated from Magna Cum Laude, from the University of North Texas in Denton, Texas with a degree in rehabilitation studies. In January, she began pursuing a master's degree. Evan, a mother for, gave birth to her first son two weeks after graduating from high school in 1984. Two years later, her second son was born. Soon after, she started smoking weed and was introduced to free basing cocaine. In 1988, she was arrested for buying drugs for an undercover knock-out ex agent. When she didn't report to her probation officer, she was sent to prison for 21 months. In May 2001, she checked into the first choice rehab program at the Salvation Army in Fort Worth, Texas. This time around, Evan was committed to making a change. I'm Johnny O'Hanston, Jr. and welcome to another edition of In Black America. On this week's program, from drug addition to college graduate with the Laura Evans, part two, In Black America.

I actually had a year of clean and I was arriving with one of my schoolmates to her job, which was the American Indian Center that was located in Ulyss, Texas. I was going to wait in the car and she said, well, come on in and just wait inside. When I got in there, she said, why don't you apply? We need some house managers, which is actually a direct care staff. I was applying. I wasn't really wanting to job. I was getting some good scholarships and the director of the program walked by and saw me. She came back and asked me what was I applying and she interviewed me and hired me. I went, got a job and even looking for a job and they hired me and me having a little over a year of clean and having been treatment five times to now be working in a treatment center. It was monumental. It was monumental to me and I know that, you know, only God can turn a mess into a message. You know, I've become a message to another suffering addict that you too can change, you know.

About 20 years ago, Evan Life was a mess. She was hooked on crack cocaine, living on the streets of Dallas, Texas, involved in prostitution and was in and out of rehab programs. In May 2001, she began to turn a life around she checked into the Salvation Army's first choice rehabilitation program. Too many years of abusing drugs left her clueless about how to cope with everyday life. Also during this period, she only went by her middle name K. Born in love with Texas, she was raised by her grandparents up until the age of eight, a family lived in New Mexico for a while. When her mother remarried, they moved to Dallas, Texas. Evan attended W.H. Addamson High School at Addamson. She became involved with an older man and had her first child two weeks after graduation. From there, she began living the street life. In 2004, she earned an associate degree from Tarant County College. On December 13, 2008, Evan's graduated Magna Cum Laude with a degree in rehabilitation studies from the University of North Texas and Denton, Texas.

Today, she is a drug counselor at the Hutchins State Jail. This is a stark contrast on where she was some years ago. On today's program, we conclude our conversation with the law, Evan's. What those kids about off without you anyway, because you don't do anything but take from them. You said the enemy who was the enemy? Satan in the form of addiction, that's what I believe, I believe it's spiritual. From that arrest, you were incarcerated for 21 months, tell us what was that like, knowing that you're going to have to go to prison for 21 months, being away from your family. Did reality sit in? Actually, yes it did. See, I was already away from my family so disconnected and detached from them. Being locked up, you know, you start to, you know, everybody, you know, not everybody, but people around you're getting Ladders with pictures and they have pictures of their kids up and their families coming to see them My family didn't they don't they didn't do jail, you know

My family had to mentality that if you want to see us, you stay out here where we are And so I didn't get pictures and I and then I you know someone were disappointed and heard an angry with me and I didn't get any pictures, but what I did get I started talking to the chaplains You know, I would get I would get into deep depression spells where I would just lay in my bed and I would cry And I read a lot I did a lot of Bible studies I started reading the word of God when I was locked up, you know, I got accused of having jailhouse religion like, you know But you got to start somewhere you got to start it somewhere and I started giving visits from the chaplains And they bought me gowns and socks and underwear and and I'm getting emotional. I just just thinking about that Was it difficult staying out of trouble for those 21 months? Well, I got in a lot of trouble and I fought I was so angry with myself and not knowing that that's what it was so I lashed out everybody else So I got a lot of I got a lot of disciplinaries when I was I did 16 months in Dallas County jail alone Then I pulled chain and went to TDC Riverside unit for about four and a half months

But in that time now I didn't act up down there. I had heard about that I walked the straight narrow when I got there. I did all my acting up in the county jail. Yeah Did they assist you with your addiction while you incarcerated? No, they don't know that Know what I did take some college the Dallas County Dallas County Community College came in and offered college courses I took a psychology class that is actually on my transcript right now This reason I didn't have to take psychology when I did go back to school I took a human development course and And I took typing one and typing two and I did various Bible studies and got Bibles and certificates And I read a lot and I I did that in between getting in trouble Fighting and and being rude and disrespectful to the officers and stuff like that Well, there are other individuals such as yourself Knowing that they had made a mistake and they were going to change their way of thinking and change their life around once they got out

I didn't meet a lot of People that talked about changing at that point At that point it was still a lot of you know, the system is against us the white man doing us wrong And you know everybody it was a lot of more of that going on than than people saying You know, I think I want to change my life I think I want to do something different now a lot of times us ladies would talk about our children And you will see the toughest woman cry at night You know missing her babies and stuff like that Give us an idea of what a typical day if there is such a a term when one is incarcerated in a women's facility Okay, you you pretty much get up at whatever point in time like if breakfast is at 430 in the morning And they turn the lights on about 3 and they start announcing you know breakfast and Get up and get ready and then you stand in line and they slide the trays through the slide And as long as it's been sitting on that cart out in the in the hallway it could be cold It could be hot

You know, it could be old and so you know got old bread and stuff because it was basically eggs and a couple of slices of Baloney and some bread and a couple of lukewarm real flavorless coffee or something like that and And I was indigent in jail and if it hadn't been for some of you know I met friends in jail and they share things with me and I washed clothes and stuff like that because I didn't have money in jail So if you didn't have any money then you really were hungry because you didn't have a commissary to eat And then you know you after that most people would go back to sleep or some people would stay up and you had sections of women Like some women dear artwork and they was said in drawing drink coffee and and drawing the envelopes for you to mail out to your family and draw right Portry then you had your car players, you know your gamblers and they was set around they would play cars our day Then you had your basic I say for lack of a better word hell razors I mean it was just starting arguments and stuff like that you just had different sets and you had to find out Where do you want to be did you know with said that you want to be in you know

You had TV watchers people that didn't do nothing but watch TV Then you had people like me. I read a lot. I read a whole lot of books when I was like the What type of books that you read I was just about to say they they weren't good But they were just novels like I read every John Grisham novel. I think from that point Silence of the lambs. I actually read that before it was ever a movie and I read that in Dallas County I read a Danielle steel novels and It's air was his night. I can't think of the guy that wrote the other side of midnight and all those books I just wrote a lot of just novels because it really I really didn't go to the law library and read law books and stuff like that I didn't do that Once your 21 months was up What were you thinking say month 18 of getting out and having a job or someplace to stay? I always only think I could think about is getting my kids because I always would get out and I would try to do better Never did I get out of any rehab or I've been rehab five times and never did I get out of any

Jell and just go right back over there. I would always try you know I've been to college before you know I would always try to give us job and get my children back and get my life together and I never could handle anything And so I would you know resort back to coping with drugs, but I would always when I was getting ready to get out I've parole to one of my best friends and I was my children were coming back around me and stuff like that and It was it was all right when I got out and got a job Were there any more children's after you got out? I had a my daughter faith. She was born in 1994 on Thanksgiving Day and it was actually my first time ever going to rehab I went to Nixx's recovery center in Dallas and I and while we were living there she was born She was born at Parkland, but we were living there And that's when everything started the child was 28 years old at that point I never never been to any program or anything To change it had only been to jails

What was it about rehab that At some point you weren't successful and then The other times you were successful Uh each time I went to rehab I had it in my mind that I was gonna stop You know that the drugs had dead me in they were they were taking every they were turning me into someone I don't like being they were taking everything from me So I always had a sincere desire to not do them as I said that Something would happen alone the way of me trying to stay clean You know my coping and you know I had anger. It was an example of what happened Okay, safe instance a lot of people that's addicted have a real problem dealing with life on life's terms I mean the simplest thing like a flat tire You know it turned a mountain into a mole hill and catastrophize everything and oh my god It's turned that kind of mentality and you know if you have a felony like I had and I wouldn't get in the jobs I wanted that was another thing

Well, they don't want nobody higher. I mean, you know, and then and then another thing was that my children my sons Were living with different people my older sons with my cousin and my baby boys with his father And they would ration the times I could see them You know, and they had good reason because I used to leave my children And so they were protecting the children, but in my mind they were against me So you know coupled with that and then I would get into relationships that wasn't any good And all of that wound up together as a recipe for relapse Yeah, tell us about first choice at the salvation army first choice is a wonderful program big ups to Deborah Bullock So wonderful program the main when I I went to nexus yet again in oh one And I took my daughter which she was born there We went back and I stayed 60 days and at the end of that 60 days I was looking around to find a transitional house or somewhere else to go And I couldn't find anything in Dallas and I don't know if anybody it's ever ran through a whole city

But that's what I did with Dallas. I mean every program that you could go in I was in and no most of them You can't come back to and the ones that I hadn't been in were full So the counselor that I had at nexus started looking around in different Metro places for somewhere for me and my daughter to go and she found first choice program They drove us here from Dallas with all of our stuff on the van And we moved in and it was a little efficiency apartment. It was groups It was life skills parenting classes housekeeping classes budgeting classes menu planning because if you stopped using I was 35 and I had never had a car. I'd never had a driver's license I had never lived for any length of time Paying bills and cooking and shopping and that program taught me how to do a lot of those things Parenting classes as I mentioned. What point were you homeless? I was homeless throughout the 90s. I stayed in the Salvation Army in Dallas across street from Parkland. The car p car bill and I stayed there so many times. I think they had a picture of me up I went in there a lot. I went in the women's lives a lot

So and being homeless, you know, living from pillar to post and living on the kindness of people You don't even know and I've slept in abandoned buildings. I've slept in cars I've slept on the back of a flatbed pickup truck I've slept in the back of a station wagon that was parked outside of a bootleg. That was my home. I've lived homeless I've slept outside before What changed that attitude once you went to first choice? The fact that I was 35 years old and my aunt that I always told us girls that you're not a woman until you 35 That you're a girl and that I actually started going by Delora At that point I always went by K my middle name and I started to go by my first name and I redefined myself I stopped seeing myself as that person that I was You know, I changed cities and I never I didn't know anybody that did drugs or Or was in that lifestyle and I situated myself with people who were clean and sober who were trying to change

And so um, it was just a it's a total lifestyle change From addiction. We need to decide to attend Tantan County Community College. I was five months clean I started I decided I wanted to be an LCDC licensed chemical dependency counselor and The agency called TRC, which is now Dars. They paid my first semester about my books And I went to the South Campus at TCC in August of 01 and I scared to death Walking around with those teenagers hadn't been in school since the age of 18 Self-of-those-look college programs like medical assistant and stuff like that And what programs did you take and courses during that period? I took a lifespan growth and development, which is a psychology Requirement I took my first government, which was a Texas government and I took A speech class and I also took I also went to seminars like how to make straight A's

How to write up way of a paper? I went to anything that could help me be successful in college I went to all the seminar. I mean they served lunch They they had these renowned speakers on the subject and I enjoyed things like that And will you decide to go to the University of North Texas? The reason I wanted to go to UT Southwest and right next door to Parkland Southwest to medical because they have a rehabilitation program But it has a math prerequisite or algebra pretty requisite that I couldn't take algebra Then I heard they did away with the program So you you you and T wasn't my first choice, but when I called you TA Once I got my associates. I called you TA. I called TCU And you and T was the only college that led everything transfer So I wouldn't have to take that many more classes to get my bachelor's And I began to drive the din in the in the spring of 07 I had a class on the Dallas campus and two in din

So and I've been going year-round for the last three years What did it mean to you completing those courses at TCC and you and T? It meant a lot but the the main thing that stood out and helped raise myself a steam a lot is that I may haze And I always thought that I must be stupid to continue to use drugs the way I did And God would build my life up and I sabotage it again and again So in my mind I was done But I'm actually intelligent as far as you know I was getting in classes and writing A papers and and making A's and getting scholarship and then it started to Help me to go ahead and keep redefining myself from that person that I used to be Obviously one has to be self-motivated, but one cannot do it alone What was that inner strength that you were drawing upon? My inner strength is it's actually a selfless Kind of

Connotation to it because I thought about my daughter faith you know because I didn't raise my sons and I denied them a mother And I denied myself and I didn't want to do her like that Because had it been left up to me. I probably kept using because I didn't love myself I didn't think nothing of myself But I continued to think about my daughter and that I wanted to do better for her Now I got clean for her, but I stay clean for me It changed over to me at the more I stay clean But I don't suggest anybody try to get clean for nobody else that usually doesn't work, but That that was my inner strength, you know my daughter faith. That's why I named her faith, you know and me starting to understand more of the biblical sense and the spiritual warfare and that I'm not wrestling against flesh and blood And that that addiction is a stronghold You know and that only God to turn that down. I mean there are some things you can wish away And some things you can wheel away, but not addiction In any form and so I would draw on and then out of information. I was learning See I learned a lot of information every time I was in treatment

You know and it all started making sense And when I was 35, everything started making sense, you know When did you receive a position in which you were proud to have I actually had a year of clean And I was Arriving with one of my schoolmates to her job, which was the American Indian Center that was located in Ulus, Texas And I was going to wait in the car and she said, well come on in and just wait inside and When I got in there, she said, why don't you apply? We need some house managers, which is actually a direct care staff And I was applying. I wasn't really wanting the job. I was getting some good scholarships and And the director of the program walked by and saw me and she came back and asked me was I applying and she interviewed me and hard I mean I went got a job. I wasn't even looking for a job And they hired me and me having a little over a year of clean and Being you know been having been treatment five times and to now be working in a treatment center It was monumental. It was monumental to me And I know that you know only God can turn a mess into a message

You know, and I've I've become a message to another suffering addict that you two can change, you know, so What are you currently doing? I'm working for a company called the Turning Point over in Hutchins State Jail The Dap Drug and Alcohol Program. I'm a case manager or a counselor We go into the the state jail. We go into the units and and give all the guys information and education on addiction and You know Anger management life skills. We give them referrals and resources and we and we help them to introduce them to 12 step programs and church program anything that to help them to be able to you know break the cycle of addiction Obviously, you know firsthand what addiction can cause does that assist you When you're speaking to these individuals that you've been there done that Yes, to me it does it's something like a common bond and you know just to when a person when you can relate to a person If if a if a person tells you

Well, it was three o'clock one morning. It was ice cold, you know, and I sold my coat To the drug dealer and I can turn around and say well, you know, I sold his girlfriend in my shoes So at the same time. It's just something about that the identification and the empathy that that is between Uh, the therapeutic value one addict helping another is what I parallel how has faith a higher faith? Not your daughter Assisted you in the in this journey faith is um I moved to the city on by faith. I mean, I don't know a soul in Fort Worth, Texas I was dollars all my life never came to Fort Worth But I know that one thing about my faith is that not I don't just have faith that you know Everything's gonna be all right and everything's gonna work out and go in my favor My faith is that whatever happens my God got me and if God is for me who could be against me And that's my faith that that no matter what, you know, nothing I and I also know that he didn't bring me this far to leave me He didn't he didn't let me survive a

Herokinda and then let me drown in a puddle You know, so I know that everything that I've been through if he was with me then then, you know, he's with me now That's my faith and that he's he's already prepared a place for me I just got to do the work, you know God helped me get through school, but God and show up and take those tests You know that God and show them say look, I got this one, you know, you know how you know that so I have to do what I have to do I have to do the footwork, you know What do you tell your your kids time miss? How do you explain that or have you had an opportunity to explain that to them? Okay, my well my daughter faith She's been there. She remember when I relapsed She remember a lot probably too much more my son Frank remembers Me being in my addiction and we going from pillar to post and stuff like that and tell my cousin God and when I got when I went Was out when I was incarcerated my cousin God and she kept him 12 years from the age of five to the age of 17 If for that, I'm truly truly in her death for raising my child

And my other son Gary that he's 22 now his feet was he was raised with the separation of not me Not being there, you know He didn't get the me dragging him from place to place because his dad protected him and I they know I don't sugarcoat life. They know that they could be predisposed to addiction because of me They know they now they can make now if they decide to use drugs or whatever that they're making an informed decision Because I let them know, you know that you too could have the addiction and not even know it You know, so it's best not to even experiment with the drugs or the alcohol or anything What would you advise someone listening to this program? Either Addicted to narcotics or at a point where they're trying to turn their life around I would advise you to seek help Look look in the phone book Try to get into some kind of treatment program outpatient program try to find a 12 step meeting

Try to seek some help even if you have to go to counseling some people have just went to counseling and then use any Problems and they they started to get down to the root causes and conditions of why they wanted to why they were self-destructing You know because it's a form of self-hatred and I have to understand that every day that I don't use is I act to self-love Every day that I don't do anything destructive to myself and break those destructive patterns of life Then I'm loving myself. So I have to try to figure out why do I hate myself to do the things that I'm doing So I would suggest a person to get somewhere where you can start looking a little deep at the root cause of why am I needing to do this and In a person who are just experimenting right now, you know tell yourself that don't tell yourself What that's not gonna happen to me and you know, they didn't they didn't do drugs right don't tell yourself that Tell yourself that you know, but whatever happened to all those other drug addicts could probably happen to me if I keep on It because the disease will progress

It'll progress it'll get it's not gonna get better. It'll always get worse So would it always be one day at a time one hour at a time one minute at a time? Yeah, I live just for the day What they say that yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery And today is a gift. That's why they call it the present So I don't even I don't even know if I have tomorrow So my My personal program of recovery is adjust for the day program. I just today I do what's in front of me to do. I don't if I'm in the future I'm in the fear and weary and doubt if I'm in the past I'm in a remorse and guilt and resentment and shame But if I stay in today, I only have to deal with what the day brings And I just make this I reaffirmed my decision on on a on a continuing basis that I'm I no longer use drugs I no longer how that lifestyle and I make the decision on a daily basis that I'm going to trust God And he's and you know to help help me help me with my life Any final comments miss Evans Yes, I would like to give honor to God who is the head of my life and my pastor any Brazil that pilgrim got to leave

About this church and I would like to thank my church family because they are monumental and helping me to get to where I'm at And you know just like to thank God and everybody who You know for the ones who who don't believe that you can recover when you know we do recover Delora Evans if you have questions comments or suggestions ask your future in black America programs write us Also, let us know what radio station you heard us over the views and opinions expressed on this program I'm not necessarily those of this station or of the University of Texas at Austin You can hear previous programs online at kut.org Until we have the opportunity again for technical producer David Averis I'm John L Hansen Jr Thank you for joining us today Please join us again next week CD copies of this program are available and may be purchased by writing in black America CDs KUT radio One university station

Austin, Texas 78712 That's in black America CDs KUT radio One university station Austin, Texas 78712 This has been a production of KUT radio