Public Square; 304; LGBTQ Youth in New Mexico

FUNDING FOR THE PRODUCTION OF PUBLIC SQUARE PROVIDED BY THE W.K. KELLOGG FOUNDATION, WORKING TO IMPROVE THE LIVES OF VULNERABLE CHILDREN. >> I CAME OUT AT 12 YEARS OLD, YOU KNOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME. WE ALL COME OUT LIKE ON A DAILY BASIS IF, YOU KNOW, NOT MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY. >> THE COMING OUT PROCESS WAS A BIG PERIOD OF SELF-HATRED, AND I EVEN CONTEMPLATED TAKING MY OWN LIVE AT ONE POINT, BECAUSE I FELT THERE MUST HAVE BEEN A DEMON IN ME, THERE MUST HAVE BEEN SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME, LIKE I HAD BEEN TOLD MY WHOLE LIFE. >> YOU TOLD THEM, AND THEY JUST OPENED THE DOOR AND SAID, SEE YA? >> THEY SAID PRETTY MUCH, PACK MY BAGS AND GO. THEY'RE LIKE, IF YOU WANT TO LIVE LIKE THIS, YOU CAN'T BE HERE AT ALL. >> WOW. >> AND THEN HE SHARED WITH ME WHAT HAPPENED, AND I SAID, MY GOD, SON, YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE GONE OUT ON THE MESA, WHAT IF HE WOULD HAVE CAUGHT YOU? HE SAID, MOM, I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO SEE IF HE KILLED ME. >> HOW DID YOU LIVE THROUGH ALL THAT AS A MOM? >> WELCOME TO PUBLIC SQUARE, WHERE CIVIC DIALOGUE TAKES CENTER STAGE.

>> OUR KIDS ARE AT RISK FOR MUCH HIGHER RATES OF SUICIDE, MUCH HIGHER RATES OF ADDICTION, MUCH HIGHER RATES OF SELF-HARMING BEHAVIORS, AND SO, YOU KNOW, WE NEED OUR KIDS TO JUST LIVE. BE BULLIED, MORE PRONE TO SUICIDE, AND AT GREATER RISK FOR HOMELESSNESS. THE BATTLE AGAINST DISCRIMINATION OF THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY IS BEING WAGED AT HOME HERE IN NEW MEXICO, AND AROUND THE WORLD. IT IS ONE OF THE PIVOTAL RIGHTS ISSUES OF OUR DAY. DESPITE PROGRESS IN THE LAST TEN YEARS, SCHOOL AND SOCIETY REMAIN A VERY RISKY PLACE FOR YOUNG PEOPLE WHO ARE LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, TRANSGENDER AND QUESTIONING. TODAY WE'LL HEAR THEIR STORIES ABOUT COMING OUT. WE'LL ALSO HEAR FROM ADVOCATES AND ACTIVISTS. THEN WE'LL BE JOINED BY STATE SENATOR CISCO McSORLEY, AND PETER SIMONSON, THE EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF THE AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES UNION, NEW MEXICO CHAPTER. BEFORE WE START, WE'LL HEAR THE STORY OF A YOUNG PERSON WHOSE JOURNEY BEGAN QUITE EARLY.

>> LIKE A LOT OF EIGHT-YEAR-OLD BOYS, TENZIN HUISMAN LOVES PLAYING FOOTBALL WITH HIS DAD. IT'S ONE OF THE THINGS HE LOVES ABOUT BEING A BOY, AND THAT WAS SOMETHING HE WAS VERY SURE ABOUT AT A YOUNG >> IT JUST CAME TO ME FROM MY HEART, I KIND OF DIDN'T LIKE BEING A GIRL, AND I JUST WANTED TO CHANGE INTO A BOY AND SEE HOW IT FELT, AND I WHEN I NOTICED HOW IT FELT, I ACTUALLY FELT BETTER BEING A BOY THAN A GIRL. I DIDN'T REALLY LIKE BEING A GIRL. NOT MY STYLE. >> TENZIN WAS BORN MAYA. >> MY BIG SURPRISE, I THINK, AS A PARENT IS, I WAS TOTALLY READY TO DEAL WITH A TRANSGENDER KID, WHAT I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT GENDER WAS HOW YOUNG GENDER IDENTITY IS KNOWN BY AN INDIVIDUAL. WHEN TEN WAS STILL MAYA, WHEN TEN WAS THREE, WE WENT TO MY MOM'S FOR CHRISTMAS, AND SHE HAD GIVEN HIM A GI,

TUTU. AND HE OPENED THE KARATE GI AND INSTANTLY, LIKE, WAS PUTTING IT ON, TYING THE BELT. AND THEN HE OPENED THE TUTU, AND HE THREW IT ACROSS THE ROOM AND SAID, THAT'S FOR GIRLS. >> BY THE TIME KINDERGARTEN CAME AROUND, TENZIN STOPPED TRYING TO FIT IN AS A GIRL, BUT HE STILL CONTINUED GOING BY MAYA IN SCHOOL. THAT BECAME A PROBLEM. >> IN 2nd GRADE, TEN WAS BEING ASKED CONSTANTLY WHETHER HE WAS A BOY OR A GIRL, AND BECAUSE HE WAS IN SCHOOL AS MAYA, EVEN THOUGH HE LOOKED VERY MUCH LIKE A BOY, HE USED THE GIRLS BATHROOM. AND SO ONE DAY WHEN HE WAS IN THE GIRLS BATHROOM, THERE WAS ANOTHER LITTLE GIRL FROM ANOTHER CLASS WHO CHOKED HIM. LITERALLY PUT HER HANDS AROUND HIS NECK AND CHOKED HIM, BECAUSE HE WOULDN'T

ADMIT THAT HE WAS A BOY AND HE WAS IN THE WRONG BATHROOM. WHEN I MET WITH THE TEACHERS, THEY HAD SOME REALLY INTERESTING THINGS TO SAY. ONE OF THE TEACHERS SUGGESTED THAT I SEND TENZIN TO SCHOOL WITH A BOW IN HIS HAIR, SO AS NOT TO CONFUSE THE OTHER KIDS. SO I REALIZED THAT WE NEEDED TO DO SOME PRETTY BIG EDUCATION. >> HIS MOTHER FOUND BOOKS AND CURRICULUM ON GENDER AND ANTI-BULLYING. SHE MET WITH SCHOOL OFFICIALS, WHO AGREED TO IMPLEMENT IT. >> I THINK IT'S A CONVERSATION THAT NEEDS TO START VERY YOUNG, BECAUSE THESE KIDS DESERVE TO BE IN SAFE ENVIRONMENTS AND TREATED WELL. >> SINCE TENZIN HAS TRANSITIONED TO BEING A BOY FULL-TIME, THESE ISSUES HAVE GONE AWAY. >> GENDER IS BEING COMPLETELY REDEFINED FROM ANYTHING WE UNDERSTAND, AND IT'S THE YOUNGER GENERATION WHO ARE REALLY SHOWING US THAT WE DO NOT HAVE TWO CHOICES. YOU KNOW, THAT GENDER IS THIS CONTINUUM, AND THERE'S ALL THESE PLACES TO LIVE ON THE CONTINUUM. AND SO I'M REALLY HEARTENED BY THAT AS A PARENT, YOU KNOW, THAT HE GETS TO LIVE IN A WORLD THAT'S EVEN MORE

OPEN THAN THE ONE THAT I GREW UP IN. SO I DON'T WORRY A LOT. OF COURSE, YOU KNOW, THERE'S THAT PART OF ME, WHAT I CALL MY MAMA BEAR, WHO'S ALWAYS A LITTLE READY. IF THEY MESS WITH MY KID TOO MUCH, I WILL POUNCE. >> TENZIN SAYS HE WOULD TELL KIDS LIKE HIM TO NOT BE AFRAID TO BE THEMSELVES. >> IT JUST FEELS BETTER WHEN YOU GET IT OUT MORE INSTEAD OF KEEPING IT IN, BETTER THAN PRETENDING TO BE SOMEBODY THAT YOU'RE NOT. AND SHARE MY EXPERIENCE, THE ROAD I WALKED WITH OUR SON, WHO IS GAY, AND HOPEFULLY THAT THAT WILL HELP OTHER YOUNG PEOPLE, AND PROBABLY MORE SO PARENTS, TO KNOW WHAT THEIR CHILD IS DEALING WITH IN COMING OUT. >> I WANT PEOPLE WHO ARE WATCHING TO UNDERSTAND THAT TRANSGENDER PEOPLE ARE

PEOPLE, AND THAT REALLY WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT, WE ALL WANT THE SAME THINGS. WE'RE ALL HUMAN BEINGS AT HEART. >> I'M A SOCIAL WORKER, AND I DO WORK WITH A LOT OF KIDS WHO ARE COMING OUT. I WORK WITH A LOT OF KIDS WHO ARE DISPLACED OUT OF THEIR HOMES AND DON'T HAVE PLACES TO GO. AND NEW MEXICO IS A HARD STATE, YOU KNOW. WE DON'T HAVE A LOT OF RESOURCES FOR GAY AND LESBIAN KIDS WHO ARE COMING OUT ALL TOGETHER, BUT MUCH LESS KIDS THAT ARE ON THE STREETS AND DON'T HAVE PLACES TO GO. >> LGBT TEENS ARE FOUR TIMES MORE LIKELY TO ATTEMPT SUICIDE THAN THEIR HETEROSEXUAL PEERS. THEY'RE BULLIED AT TWO TO THREE TIMES THE RATE OF THEIR PEERS. AND THEN OFTEN THEY'RE NOT FEELING SAFE AT SCHOOL, THEY OFTEN DON'T HAVE A SAFE ADULT TO GO TO AT SCHOOL. SO THEY'RE MUCH MORE AT RISK. >> IF WE DON'T START TO RESOLVE THESE ISSUES, THEN WE'RE GOING TO SEE A CONTINUED MARGINALIZATION OF PEOPLE WHO ARE ALREADY INCREDIBLY MARGINALIZED. AND WHAT WE SEE IS INCREASED SUBSTANCE USE AND ABUSE, INCREASED SURVIVAL SEX, INCREASED HIV TRANSMISSION RATES IN OUR STATE, INCREASED HEPATITIS TRANSMISSION RATES IN OUR STATES, INCREASED HOMELESSNESS. ALL OF THESE SORT OF SOCIETAL PROBLEMS THAT

REALLY WE SHOULD BE WORKING TO RESOLVE WILL ONLY GET WORSE IF WE DON'T LEARN HOW TO INCORPORATE AND INTEGRATE TRANSGENDER FOLKS INTO OUR >> I WANT TO START TALKING WITH SOME OF YOU ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL EXPERIENCES COMING OUT AS GAY OR LESBIAN OR TRANSGENDERED, AND I'D LIKE TO START WITH YOU, JESSICA. CAN YOU TALK A LITTLE BIT ABOUT HOW YOU CAME OUT TO YOUR PARENTS A FEW YEARS AGO, AND WHAT HAPPENED? >> I CAME OUT WHEN I WAS 17 IN MY SENIOR YEAR. MY PARENTS DIDN'T ACCEPT OF IT, AND SO THEY KICKED ME OUT. I WAS COUCH SURFING, HOUSE HOPPING, GOING IN BETWEEN SHELTERS. I'VE ACTUALLY STAYED WITH A COUPLE OF MY TEACHERS AT MY HIGH SCHOOL AT THAT TIME, SO I DID GRADUATE, WHICH IS ANOTHER PROBLEM FOR LGBT YOUTH IF THEY ARE KICKED OUT WHEN THEY'RE STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL. THEY DON'T HAVE THE RESOURCES TO FINISH SCHOOL, OR A PLACE TO STAY. AND MAINLY, THE HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA IS REALLY WHAT THEY NEED. >> NOW, YOU TOLD YOUR

PARENTS YOU WERE GAY; RIGHT? BUT, IN FACT, YOU'RE TRANSGENDERED? >> I'M IN THE VERY EARLY PROCESS OF TRANSITIONING, YES. >> OKAY. WHY DID YOU DECIDE THAT IT WOULD BE SAFER TO TELL THEM YOU WERE GAY? >> JUST THE GENERAL POPULATION IS, I WOULD SAY, A LOT -- NOT A LOT MORE ACCEPTING, BUT MAYBE A LITTLE BIT MORE UNDERSTANDING BETWEEN GAY AND LESBIAN, AND TRANSGENDER, WHERE THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. LIKE, WHAT ARE YOU. >> HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU WERE TRANSGENDER? >> HOW DID YOU KNOW IF YOU WERE STRAIGHT, OR IF YOU WERE A BOY OR A GIRL? IT WAS JUST LIKE, I KNEW I WAS A GIRL IN A BOY'S BODY. I WAS PLAYING WITH DOLLS, MY SISTER'S CLOTHES, TRYING TO WATCH GIRLY SHOWS WHEN I WAS LITTLE. MY MOM WAS JUST SICK OF IT AND WOULD YELL AT ME. IT WAS HARD FOR BOTH OF US, BECAUSE I CAN KIND OF UNDERSTAND THEIR POINT. BUT IT'S STILL LIKE, I'M YOUR CHILD. SO THE WAY I FELT WAS KIND OF MORE LIKE, CONDITIONAL LOVE. >> HOW DO THINGS STAND WITH THEM NOW? >> IT'S JUST COMPLICATED.

I CAN'T BE MYSELF AROUND THEM, AND IF I TRY TO, IF I TALK TO THEM ABOUT ANYTHING, KIND OF LIKE IN MY PERSONAL LIFE THAT I FIND INTERESTING, THEY'LL JUST KIND OF SHUT IT OUT, OR GET ANGRY OR UPSET. THE WHOLE DAY GETS RUINED, PRETTY MUCH. >> YOU TOLD THEM AND THEY JUST OPENED THE DOOR AND SAID, SEE YA? >> THEY SAID, PRETTY MUCH, PACK MY BAGS AND GO. IT'S LIKE, IF YOU WANT TO LIVE LIKE THIS, YOU CAN'T BE HERE, AT ALL. >> WOW. I WANT TO GO TO QUELA. YOU KNEW FOR A LONG TIME THAT YOU WERE GAY, BUT YOU KIND OF DID THE NORMAL HIGH SCHOOL THINGS. YOU KNOW, WENT TO PROM, DATED. WHY? >> I WAS A PROM PRINCESS. >> YOU WERE A PROM PRINCESS? >> YES. >> OKAY. >> IT WAS SOMETHING THAT WAS NEVER ALLOWED IN MY HOUSE. WE WERE TOLD FROM A VERY YOUNG AGE THAT WE HAD TO -- IF WE WERE EVER TO TELL MY PARENTS THAT WE WERE ANYTHING OTHER THAN STRAIGHT, THAT WE'D BE KICKED OUT, A SIMILAR SITUATION.

IT WAS JUST SOMETHING THAT WAS DEFINITELY NOT ACCEPTED. I WAS RAISED VERY CATHOLIC, VERY CHICANA, AND SO -- I EVEN REMEMBER WHEN I WAS LITTLE SAYING, OH, MY GOSH, I HOPE I NEVER END UP LIKE WHAT THEY TALK ABOUT, BECAUSE I THOUGHT -- TO ME, IT WAS LIKE A DISEASE, OR A DEMON POSSESSION, OR SOMETHING THAT WAS SO TERRIBLE THAT YOU NEVER WANT TO GET. AND SO GROWING UP, IF I WANTED TO STAY IN MY HOUSE, EVEN AFTER I STARTED QUESTIONING IT, I HAD TO CONTINUE TO JUST DO WHAT MY FAMILY WANTED ME TO DO. >> SO YOU WAITED UNTIL YOU GRADUATED AND WENT TO COLLEGE? >> UH-HUH. >> HOW DID THEY TAKE IT ONCE YOU TOLD THEM? >> NOW THEY'RE STILL IN DENIAL. THEY STILL -- IT'S JUST SOMETHING WE DON'T TALK ABOUT. >> HAVE THEY STARTED ASKING YOU WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO GET MARRIED? >> OH, YEAH. MY MOM ALWAYS, YOU'LL BREAK MY HEART IF YOU DON'T GET MARRIED, IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME GRANDCHILDREN, SOMEDAY YOU HAVE TO GET MARRIED. SHE TELLS ME ABOUT ALL THESE GREAT GUYS AT HER WORK THAT SHE COULD GIVE ME THEIR NUMBERS, OR TRY TO ARRANGE SOMETHING. BUT IT DOESN'T -- IT'S SOMETHING THAT I DON'T THINK THEY'LL EVER UNDERSTAND.

AND FOR A LONG TIME, I HATED THAT, AND I WAS LIKE, WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR THEM TO UNDERSTAND? BUT, THEY KNOW. THEY KNOW DIFFERENT. >> DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU CAN STAY IN TOUCH WITH YOUR CULTURE? >> THAT'S SOMETHING THAT I REALLY STRUGGLED WITH, BECAUSE I LOVE MY CULTURE. I'M VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT THE FACT THAT I'M CHICANA. I EVEN SPELL IT WITH AN X. I'M VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT THAT. BUT THINGS LIKE CATHOLICISM AND ALL OF THAT -- LIKE I WAS CONFIRMED CATHOLIC, BUT EVEN WHEN I WOULD GO TO CONFIRMATION, WE HAD CLASSES ON HOMOSEXUALITY LEADS TO HELL. >> HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW ABOUT YOUR LIFE VERSUS HOW YOU FELT IN HIGH SCHOOL? >> I FEEL MUCH MORE CONFIDENT. BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL, I WAS VERY SCARED. I GOT TO A POINT WHERE -- >> YOU WERE SCARED SOMEONE WOULD FIND OUT? >> UH-HUH. AND I HATED MYSELF. I HONESTLY WAS -- THE COMING OUT PROCESS WASN'T SOMETHING THAT WAS LIKE RAINBOWS AND FLOWERS AND BUTTERFLIES AND ALL KINDS OF THINGS.

IT WAS A BIG PERIOD OF SELF-HATRED, AND I EVEN CONTEMPLATED TAKING MY OWN LIFE AT ONE POINT BECAUSE I FELT THAT THERE MUST HAVE BEEN A DEMON IN ME, THERE MUST HAVE BEEN SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME, LIKE I HAD BEEN TOLD MY WHOLE LIFE. SO I WAS IN A VERY DARK PLACE IN HIGH SCHOOL. SO GOING TO COLLEGE, BECOMING SELF-SUFFICIENT, GETTING A PLACE TO LIVE AND BEING ABLE TO BE MYSELF, AND AT UNM I REALLY FELT LIKE THEY PROVIDED A PLACE WITH LIKE THE CENTER AND THINGS LIKE THAT THAT REALLY HELPED PEOPLE TO FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE COMING INTO THEIR SKIN AND WHO THEY REALLY ARE. >> TATIANA, YOU BEGAN THE PROCESS OF TRANSITIONING, AND YOU'RE FROM THE NAVAJO NATION; RIGHT? >> YES. >> AND YOU GREW UP IN CUBA? >> YES. >> SO BEFORE YOU TRANSITIONED, THOUGH, YOU KNEW THAT YOU WERE A WOMAN? >> WELL, I KNEW FROM A YOUNGER AGE, YOU KNOW, WHO I WAS, AND I SELF-IDENTIFIED WHEN I WAS YOUNGER. BUT I KEPT IT TO MYSELF. I STILL WAS VERY FEMININE. I WAS STILL VERY FLAMBOYANT

AT THAT TIME. AND THEN WHEN I ENTERED HIGH SCHOOL, I JUST CAME OUT TO MY FRIENDS AND EVERYBODY, AND MY MOM, AS A GAY MALE. I DIDN'T REALLY HAVE MUCH OF BULLYING. I HAVE HAD A FEW NAME-CALLING, BUT, YOU KNOW, I CONFRONTED PEOPLE. I'M LIKE, WHAT YOU SAY IS NOT GOING TO HURT ME, YOU KNOW, I AM WHO I AM, AND YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. SO AFTER THAT, LIKE EVERYBODY JUST KIND OF REALIZED, YOU KNOW, IT'S WHATEVER, LEAVE IT ALONE. AFTER I HAD GRADUATED, I MOVED TO ALBUQUERQUE, AND I DID START WEARING MORE FEMININE CLOTHES OUT HERE. I WAS BEING MORE OPEN WITH WHO I WAS. AND IN 2009, MY FATHER HAD PASSED, AND I KIND OF THOUGHT OF IT AS AN OUTLET TO BE WHO I REALLY WANTED TO BE. SO I MOVED HOME, AND THAT'S WHERE I ACTUALLY STARTED THE

WHOLE PROCESS OF TRANSITIONING. HORMONE THERAPY. AND I DID IT ALL WITH MY FAMILY. I LET THEM GROW WITH ME. >> WERE THEY ACCEPTING? >> MY FAMILY WAS VERY ACCEPTING, ESPECIALLY MY GRANDMOTHERS. I LOVE MY GRANDMOTHERS TO DEATH BECAUSE THEY WERE ALWAYS THERE, ALWAYS ENCOURAGING. AND LIKE I COULD GO TO CHURCH ANYWHERE OUT THERE, AND NO ONE WOULD COME AGAINST ME, OR SAY SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH ME. >> NOW, LILLY, YOUR MOM ACTUALLY ASKED YOU IF YOU WERE GAY BEFORE YOU CAME OUT. >> YES, SHE DID. THE MOMENT I HIT PUBERTY, YEAH. >> WAS THAT A SURPRISE TO YOU? >> YOU KNOW, I DON'T EVEN REALLY REMEMBER AT THE TIME IF IT WAS SURPRISING OR IF IT WAS REALLY EVEN SOMETHING I THOUGHT ABOUT. IT WAS JUST KIND OF LIKE, I DON'T THINK SO, MOM. BOYS ARE CUTE. AND THEY ARE. I STILL THINK BOYS ARE CUTE. PEOPLE ARE CUTE. BUT MOM WAS LIKE, AH, LET'S WAIT AND SEE, I'M PRETTY SURE YOU'RE A LESBIAN. AND I WAS LIKE, OKAY, WELL, I GUESS WE'LL WAIT AND SEE.

>> DID YOU FEEL PRESSURED TO BE A LESBIAN? >> NO, NO. >> OKAY. >> NO, I DIDN'T. LUCKILY, MY MOTHER AND I HAVE A REALLY FANTASTIC RELATIONSHIP, SO I NEVER FELT LIKE I HAD TO BE ONE THING OR ANOTHER THING. BUT IT WAS DEFINITELY INTERESTING. IT WAS NOT REALLY SOMETHING THAT I HAD THOUGHT ABOUT AT THAT TIME, AND IT BECAME SOMETHING I THOUGHT ABOUT, AND I DIDN'T HAVE TO COME OUT WHEN I REALIZED. I WAS REALLY, REALLY FORTUNATE, REALLY LUCKY AND PRIVILEGED IN MY EXPERIENCE COMING AS QUEER. I CAME OUT REALLY YOUNG, TOO. I CAME OUT AT 12 YEARS OLD. SO, YOU KNOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME. WE ALL COME OUT LIKE ON A DAILY BASIS, IF NOT MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY. SO THE FIRST TIME I CAME OUT WAS WHEN I WAS 12. >> MEANING TO OTHER PEOPLE? >> YEAH. EVERY TIME YOU MEET SOMEBODY, EVERY TIME YOU HAVE TO TELL SOMEBODY WHERE YOU WORK, OR WHAT YOU DO, OR WHAT YOU CARE ABOUT, OR WHO YOU'RE DATING -- NO, I DON'T THINK THAT PERSON'S CUTE BECAUSE I'M NOT ATTRACTED TO PEOPLE OF THAT GENDER OR SEX. YOU KNOW, IT'S A COMING OUT EXPERIENCE ALL THE TIME.

>> LOIS, I WANT TO TURN TO YOU, BECAUSE YOU'RE A MOM -- >> I SURE AM. >> -- WITH A GAY SON. >> I SURE AM. >> AND HE'S 29 NOW? >> HE IS. >> BUT HE HAD A REALLY TOUGH TIME. HE WAS BULLIED? >> RIGHT, VERY MUCH SO. BRIAN KNEW HE WAS DIFFERENT WHEN HE WAS THREE YEARS OLD, AND WE'RE LEARNING THAT MORE AND MORE, THAT KIDS KNOW WHEN THEY'RE LITTLE THAT THEY'RE DIFFERENT, AND THEY'VE GOT TO PROCESS IT. AND A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT GOES ON INSIDE THAT INDIVIDUAL. BRIAN FOUND OUT ABOUT PFLAG, AND WHEN HE CAME HOME FROM PFLAG, IT WAS LIKE HE WAS A DIFFERENT KID. I JUST FELT THE ENLIGHTENMENT AND LIGHTNESS IN HIM. AND I'VE SINCE REALIZED, YOU KNOW, BY GOING TO PFLAG AND BEING ACCEPTED THERE, BRIAN KNEW HE WAS OKAY FOR BEING WHO HE WAS. BUT THERE WAS A GROUP OF BOYS THAT HARASSED HIM, AND BRIAN WAS COMING HOME FROM RIO RANCHO ONE DAY IN HIS OLD SUZUKI, AND HE DROVE BY, AND HE HAPPENED TO NOTICE

THIS KID OUT IN THE YARD. WELL, IT WAS THE KID THAT HAD BEEN HARASSING HIM, AND BRIAN SAID, MOM, I JUST ROLLED MY WINDOW DOWN AND I SCREAMED. I KNOW, NOW, THAT FEELING HE HAD INSIDE OF HIM, THE ANGER, THE HURT THAT HE EXPERIENCED WHEN HE SAW THAT KID. AND ANYWAY, HE COME ON HOME. THE KID JUMPED IN HIS CAR AND FOLLOWED BRIAN. WE LIVE OUT ON THE WEST MESA, AND OUR FRONT DOOR FACES THE MESA UP THERE. INSTEAD OF BRIAN TURNING AND COMING INTO OUR YARD, HE WENT OUT ON THE MESA, AND LUCKILY ENOUGH THE KID THAT WAS CHASING HIM GOT STUCK IN THE SAND OUT THERE, AND BRIAN CAME HOME. AND HE TOLD ME, HE SAYS, I'M LUCKY HE GOT STUCK, AND THEN HE SHARED WITH ME WHAT HAPPENED. AND I SAID, MY GOD, SON, YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE GONE OUT ON THE MESA, WHAT IF HE WOULD HAVE CAUGHT YOU? HE SAID, MOM, I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO SEE IF HE KILLED ME, IF THAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED.

>> HOW DID YOU LIVE THROUGH ALL THIS AS A MOM? >> YOU JUST DO. YOU JUST DO. AND THROUGH THE SUPPORT OF PFLAG AND OTHER PARENTS AND KIDS THAT STRUGGLED, YOUR STORY, YOUR STORY, YOU'RE NOT ALONE IN WHAT YOU'RE DEALING WITH. I HAD NEVER HEARD OF CUTTING, UNTIL BRIAN. BRIAN ATTEMPTED HIS LIFE ONCE IN LOS ALAMOS, AND THAT'S WHERE HE STARTED CUTTING, AND HE CARRIES THE SCARS ON HIS ARMS FROM CUTTING. BUT I UNDERSTAND NOW WHY KIDS CUT THEMSELVES. >> BECAUSE THEY'RE IN PAIN. >> YES, BECAUSE THEY'RE IN PAIN. >> HOW IS HE NOW? >> HE'S PHENOMENAL. HE'S PHENOMENAL. HE GRADUATED FROM UNM, AND HE'S AN INTERPRETER FOR THE DEAF. AND THIS YOUNG LADY, AND I'VE HAD OTHER PEOPLE ASK, WELL, WHY DID HE CHOOSE INTERPRETING? BECAUSE I HAD OTHER IDEAS OF

WHAT HE SHOULD BE. >> MOST MOMS DO. >> THEY DO. BUT I SAID, SON, WHY DID YOU CHOOSE INTERPRETING? BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW WHETHER IT WOULD BE ABLE TO PROVIDE HIM AN INCOME FOR HIS LIVELIHOOD. AND HE SAID, MOM, I WANT TO HELP PEOPLE. AND THAT'S WHO HE IS. HE'S A VERY CARING, GIVING YOUNG MAN. AND ALWAYS, A LOT OF WHAT THESE KIDS GO THROUGH, THEY'RE BETTER, THEY MOVE ON, BUT WORDS HURT, TOO. THERE ARE DEEP SCARS THAT THEY HAVE TO LIVE WITH. >> I WANT TO TURN TO SOME OF OUR ADVOCATES HERE. THESE ARE REALLY DIFFERENT STORIES. SO, WHAT ARE THE BIGGEST THINGS FACING LGBT YOUTH HERE THAT YOU'RE WORKING ON, CYNTHIA? >> WE ARE STARTING, OR ARE HOPING TO START A SHELTER FOR GAY AND LESBIAN TEENS HERE IN NEW MEXICO, BECAUSE WE HAVE SUCH AN EXTREME NEED. JESSICA'S STORY, UNFORTUNATELY, IS NOT UNUSUAL, AND WE HAVE LOTS OF

KIDS LIKE THAT, KIDS THAT DON'T DO AS WELL AS JESSICA. YOU KNOW, THE FACT THAT YOU WERE ABLE TO GRADUATE AND GET A JOB AND START TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF IS AMAZING. MOST KIDS HAVE TO DROP OUT. MOST KIDS JUST NEED TO FIND A PLACE TO STAY EVERY NIGHT WHEN THEY'RE KICKED OUT OF THEIR HOMES. EVEN, YOU KNOW, ON A NIGHTLY BASIS, THERE ARE TONS OF KIDS THAT ARE HOMELESS IN NEW MEXICO, JUST IN GENERAL, MUCH LESS GAY AND LESBIAN KIDS. SO, YOU KNOW, NEW MEXICO HAS THE THIRD HIGHEST POPULATION OF HOMELESS IN THE NATION. THOSE NUMBERS ARE RISING EVERY DAY. THE JOBLESS RATES ARE RISING EVERY DAY. AND, YOU KNOW, OUR KIDS ARE AT RISK FOR MUCH HIGHER RATES OF SUICIDE, MUCH HIGHER RATES OF ADDICTION, MUCH HIGHER RATES OF SELF-HARMING BEHAVIORS. AND SO, YOU KNOW, WE NEED OUR KIDS TO JUST LIVE, AND JUST HAVE THE BASIC NEEDS COVERED. WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH HOMELESS SHELTERS IN THE STATE ALL TOGETHER, MUCH LESS FOR GAY AND LESBIAN KIDS. IT'S REALLY HARD TO GO INTO A SHELTER SETTING WHEN MOST

OF THE TIME THE RULES ARE, GIRLS ON THIS SIDE, BOYS ON THIS SIDE, NO FRATERNIZATION. YOU KNOW, WHERE DO OUR KIDS GO WHEN THEY GO TO THOSE SHELTERS? SOMETIMES KIDS ARE HAVING TO SLEEP ON A COUCH IN A COMMON ROOM, BECAUSE THEY DON'T FIT IN WITH THE BOYS SIDE OR THE GIRLS SIDE. OR THEY'RE NOT COMFORTABLE, THEMSELVES, BEING ON THE BOYS SIDE OR THE GIRLS SIDE. >> ADRIEN, YOU OPENED THE TRANSGENDER RESOURCE CENTER A YEAR AGO, TWO YEARS AGO? >> WE'VE BEEN AROUND FOR ABOUT FOUR YEARS. >> FOUR YEARS; I'M SORRY. >> WE OPENED OUR SPACE IN FEBRUARY. >> ONE THING SHE JUST BROUGHT UP, IN SOME WAYS SOCIETY'S GETTING MORE COMFORTABLE WITH GAY AND LESBIAN. NOT TOTALLY, BUT THE ISSUE OF THE GENDER ISSUE, OF LIKE WHERE PEOPLE CAN'T FIGURE OUT "WHAT YOU ARE," OR WHERE YOU FIT, THAT SEEMS TO BE REALLY THREATENING AND PUTS PEOPLE AT EXTRA RISK. >> IT REALLY DOES. IT ABSOLUTELY DOES. AND I THINK EVEN, YOU KNOW, WE EVEN FORGET TO SAY TRANSGENDER AND THINK ABOUT TRANSGENDER PEOPLE WHEN WE SAY LGBT. IN THE TRANSGENDER COMMUNITY, WE TALK ABOUT THE "T" BEING SILENT A LOT OF THE TIME, BECAUSE WE FEEL

EITHER NOT CONSIDERED AT ALL, OR TOKENIZED. YOU KNOW, ONLY CONSIDERED IN A TOKEN SORT OF WAY. AND IT'S SO EASY TO DO ACCOMMODATIONS IN SHELTERS. THERE'S A BRILLIANT DOCUMENT ON THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW CALLED, "TRANSITIONING OUR SHELTERS." YOU CAN GOOGLE IT. IT'S GOT SOME JUST VERY DOWN-TO-EARTH RECOMMENDATIONS ON HOW TO DEAL WITH ACCOMMODATING TRANS PEOPLE IN SHELTER SITUATIONS WITHOUT DOING ANY KIND OF BUILD-OUT OR RETROFITTING TO THE FACILITY. IT'S VERY POSSIBLE TO LOGISTICALLY WORK WITH TRANS FOLKS IF YOU JUST HAVE THE WILLINGNESS TO DO SO. >> JUST A MATTER OF EDUCATION? >> ABSOLUTELY. I THINK THAT'S A HUGE PART OF IT. >> WE TALKED ABOUT SOME OF THE THINGS THAT BRIAN WENT THROUGH, AND SOME OF YOU HAVE GONE THROUGH, AND I KNOW, JENN, YOU AND ASHLEY HAVE BOTH WORKED WITH GAY-STRAIGHT ALLIANCES. I MEAN, IS THIS ONE WAY TO ADDRESS THINGS LIKE THIS? >> ABSOLUTELY. I THINK IT STARTS A LOT WITH EDUCATION AND HELPING. YOU KNOW, WHETHER WE'RE LOOKING IN THE SCHOOLS AND WE'RE HELPING THE YOUNG PEOPLE EDUCATE THEIR PEERS. YOU KNOW, PROBABLY MOST OF

YOU WHO HAVE BEEN IN SCHOOL IN THE LAST FIVE OR TEN YEARS HAVE HEARD, YOU KNOW, "OH, THAT'S SO GAY," OR, "COME ON, DON'T BE SUCH A FAG." AND THE YOUNG PEOPLE SAYING THOSE THINGS, THEY MAY NOT BE TRYING TO SAY, THAT'S SO HOMOSEXUAL, WHEN THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING THAT'S NOT COOL, BUT THAT'S WHAT IT CONNECTS TO, THAT'S WHAT IT RELATES TO. AND SO JUST STOPPING THAT LANGUAGE AND INTERRUPTING THAT BEHAVIOR, AND DOING JUST A LITTLE BIT OF EDUCATION IN THE MOMENT ABOUT HOW HURTFUL THAT CAN BE, THAT'S JUST A SIMPLE WAY THAT REALLY ANYBODY, WHETHER A PARENT OR AN EDUCATOR OR A COMMUNITY MEMBER, CAN INTERRUPT THAT. IN THE HIGH SCHOOLS AND SOME MIDDLE SCHOOLS, AND EVEN ACROSS THE NATION IN SOME ELEMENTARY LEVELS, GAY-STRAIGHT ALLIANCE CLUBS, OR GSA, ARE BECOMING MORE AND MORE PREVALENT. >> ARE THEY GENERALLY ONLY IN HIGH SCHOOLS HERE? >> NO. IN NEW MEXICO, THEY'RE PREDOMINANTLY IN HIGH SCHOOLS, BUT WE DO HAVE SEVERAL MIDDLE SCHOOLS, ESPECIALLY IN ALBUQUERQUE AND SANTA FE, THAT HAVE STARTED GAY-STRAIGHT ALLIANCE CLUBS. AND SOMETIMES EVEN IN THE ELEMENTARY SCHOOLS. IT'S MORE OF A SUPPORT CLUB.

AND IF YOU EVEN LOOK AT HOW OUR FAMILIES ARE CHANGING, THIS IS FOR KIDS WHO IDENTIFY AS LGBT OR STRAIGHT ALLIES. AND A YOUNG PERSON WHO IS A STRAIGHT ALLY, THEY MAY HAVE FRIENDS, THEY MAY BELIEVE IN, YOU KNOW, HUMAN DIGNITY AND EQUALITY, THEY MAY HAVE PARENTS OF THE SAME GENDER. THEY MAY HAVE TWO MOMS OR TWO DADS, OR A MOM WHO IS A LESBIAN, OR A DAD WHO IS GAY. SO IT'S REALLY FOR ALL OF OUR YOUTH, AND TO MAKE YOUTH A SAFER PLACE FOR ALL OF OUR YOUTH. AND IT'S REALLY GROWN EVEN IN NEW MEXICO. IN 2005, THERE WAS ONLY ABOUT 12 GSA'S THAT THE NEW MEXICO GAY-STRAIGHT ALLIANCE NETWORK, THE MOUNTAIN CENTER, KNEW OF, AND NOW WE HAVE OVER 57 AND COUNTING. >> THAT'S GREAT. ASHLEY, YOU'RE INVOLVED IN A GAY-STRAIGHT ALLIANCE HERE IN ALBUQUERQUE; RIGHT? >> YES. >> WHY DID YOU WANT TO GET INVOLVED WITH THIS IN HIGH SCHOOL? >> MY VERY BEST FRIEND, WE USED TO KIND OF JOKE AROUND WITH HIM. LIKE, THAT'S SO GAY. AND ONE DAY, IT WAS BACK IN THE MYSPACE DAYS, AND I CLICKED ON HIS MYSPACE PROFILE, AND IT SAID HE WAS GAY. AND I WAS LIKE, BEN, YOU KNOW THAT YOUR MYSPACE SAYS THAT YOU'RE GAY, RIGHT? AND HE WAS LIKE, WELL, I

HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING, AND HE CAME OUT TO ME. IT WAS LIKE I COMPLETELY -- MY WORLD FLIPPED OVER, AND I WAS LIKE, OH, MY GOSH, I'M SO SORRY FOR LIKE MAKING FUN OF YOU, I DIDN'T KNOW THIS WAS A REAL THING. AND THEN WE GOT TO HIGH SCHOOL, AND HE HAD A COUPLE OF KIDS THAT BULLIED HIM A LOT. NEVER PHYSICALLY, ONLY VERBALLY. BUT IT WAS TAKING A TOLL ON HIM, AND I SAID, WELL, YOU KNOW, THERE'S A GAY-STRAIGHT ALLIANCE CLUB, WHY DON'T YOU GO TO THIS CLUB? AND HE JUST DIDN'T WANT TO. AND I WAS LIKE, OKAY, WE'RE GOING. >> DO YOU THINK IT'S EFFECTIVE WHEN STRAIGHT PEOPLE SPEAK UP WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE LGBTQ? >> OH, DEFINITELY. I MEAN, BECAUSE I WAS IN A LEADERSHIP ROLE IN OTHER PARTS OF THE SCHOOL, THEY SAW THAT I WAS STRAIGHT AND I WAS STANDING UP FOR MY FRIEND. SO WE STARTED HEARING A LOT LESS OF, "THAT'S SO GAY." IT HAS A BIG, BIG EFFECT.

>> ALMA ROSA, YOU AND LILLY AND QUELA ARE INVOLVED WITH THE LGBT RESOURCE CENTER AT UNM. YOU ALSO HELP PUT SAFE ZONES AROUND THE CAMPUS AND WORK WITH SCHOOLS TO CREATE SAFE ZONES. IS THAT SORT OF A SIMILAR IDEA, TO MAKE EVERYONE ACCOUNTABLE? >> IT ACTUALLY KIND OF GOES ALONG THE LINES OF WHAT WAS JUST BEING SAID AROUND STRAIGHT ALLIES AND HAVING SPACE. THE LGBTQ RESOURCE CENTER WAS STARTED BY A STUDENT MOVEMENT AT UNM. SO IT WAS THE STUDENTS THAT SAID THEY WANTED VISIBILITY. THEY WANTED TO BE SEEN. THEY WANTED RESOURCES AT UNM. AND THEN ROSE UP AND THEY DEMANDED A RESOURCE CENTER. SO THE STUDENT GOVERNING BODY, WHICH QUELA SITS ON NOW, THEY DID FUND THE RESOURCE CENTER THE FIRST YEAR. AND SO IT'S BEEN MY CHARGE TO CONTINUE TO INTEGRATE THE RESOURCE CENTER THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE UNIVERSITY COMMUNITY, AS WELL AS HELP BUILD VISIBILITY OFF CAMPUS, AS WELL. AND ONE OF THE THINGS THAT

WE HAVE DONE, WE PROVIDE THE SAFE ZONE TRAINING. WE ARE NOT IN A CENTRALLY LOCATED AREA ON CAMPUS, SO WE FELT THAT IT WAS CRITICAL FOR US TO CREATE SAFE SPACES AROUND CAMPUS SO THAT IF ANYBODY QUESTIONING, IF SOMEONE'S AN ALLY, A STRAIGHT ALLY, OR THAT HAS COME OUT, OR IS TRANSGENDER, OR IS TRANSITIONING, HAS A PLACE TO FEEL SAFE, EVEN IF IT'S, OH, MY GOODNESS, I'M CRUSHING ON SOMEONE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER AND I WANT TO SHARE THIS GREAT NEWS WITH SOMEBODY. THERE'S A SAFE ZONE, BECAUSE IT'S IDENTIFIED BY A STICKER AND A RAINBOW IN THE UNM POD, THAT YOU CAN GO IN THERE AND HAVE SOMEONE THAT UNDERSTANDS YOUR COMMUNITY. >> THAT COULD BE A TEACHER, THAT COULD BE A STAFF PERSON? >> IT COULD BE ANYBODY. FACULTY, STAFF, ANYONE AT UNM REALLY CAN BE SAFE ZONED TRAINED. SO WE ARE PROVIDING THOSE SPACES AROUND CAMPUS NOT JUST FOR VISIBILITY, BUT WE REALLY ARE TRYING TO SHIFT THE CULTURE AT UNM, AND HOPEFULLY THAT WILL SPILL OUT INTO THE GREATER

COMMUNITY. >> SO WHAT ARE SOME OF THE TOP THINGS THAT WE NEED TO DO NOW TO MAKE THINGS BETTER FOR KIDS IN NEW MEXICO, FOR YOUTH IN NEW MEXICO, LGBTQ YOUTH? >> I WANTED TO MENTION, THERE'S ALSO A DAN SAVAGE CAMPAIGN WHERE PEOPLE, YOU KNOW, MOSTLY ADULTS, ARE SHARING THAT AFTER HIGH SCHOOL, IT GETS BETTER. BUT THERE WAS ALSO -- THE YOUTH MOVEMENT CREATED ANOTHER MOVEMENT TO GO IN CONJUNCTION WITH THAT CALLED, MAKE IT BETTER, WHICH IS SAYING, WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO JUST WAIT FOR IT TO GET BETTER, YOU CAN MAKE IT BETTER NOW. >> AND HOW DO YOU DO THAT? >> WHATEVER WAY THAT YOUTH THINK IT'S POSSIBLE. IT'S A YOUTH DRIVEN CAMPAIGN. SO WITH THE NEW MEXICO GSA NETWORK, YOUNG PEOPLE EVERY YEAR, THEY LEARN ABOUT THE POLITICAL PROCESS, AND THEN THEY GO TO THEIR LEGISLATORS AND THEY ADVOCATE FOR LEGISLATION, FOR POLICIES, FOR WHATEVER THEY FEEL IS IMPORTANT TO PROTECT THEMSELVES AS LGBTQ AND STRAIGHT ALLY YOUNG PEOPLE, AS WELL AS YOUNG PEOPLE IN GENERAL. SO JUST BECAUSE A YOUNG PERSON IS NOT 18, IT DOESN'T MEAN THEY CAN'T ADVOCATE TO THEIR LEGISLATORS.

AND AS COMMUNITY MEMBERS, WE CAN ALL GO TO OUR LEGISLATORS. WE CAN GO TO, YOU KNOW, THE SCHOOLS THAT OUR CHILDREN GO TO. WE CAN, YOU KNOW, AS A COMMUNITY MEMBER JUST GO TO OUR SCHOOL DISTRICTS, OUR SCHOOL BOARDS, OUR VOCAL NONPROFITS. WE CAN ASK FOR FORMS TO BE CHANGED TO SAY, PARENT 1, PARENT 2, INSTEAD OF SAYING MOTHER, FATHER, AND MAKING AN ASSUMPTION THERE. SO THOSE ARE SOME WAYS THAT COMMUNITY MEMBERS IN GENERAL CAN AFFECT CHANGE IN THEIR SMALL CIRCLES, AS WELL AS THE LARGEST SPHERE OF INFLUENCE. >> ALL RIGHT. WELL, WE'LL TALK MORE ABOUT THIS IN THE NEXT SECTION. WE HAVE A SENATOR AND PETER FROM THE ACLU. SO KEEP THINKING ABOUT THAT >> I WANTED TO ASK OUR LEADERSHIP FOLKS WHO JOINED US, I THINK YOU SAW A LOT OF THE PREVIOUS DISCUSSION, IF YOU HAD ANY PARTICULAR THOUGHTS ABOUT WHAT YOU HEARD, IN TERMS OF WHAT YOU

MIGHT LIKE TO CHANGE IN NEW MEXICO FOR LGBTQ YOUTH. >> TO ME, THE THING THAT'S ON THE HORIZON NOW IS MARRIAGE EQUALITY. WHEN I SEE ALL THESE PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE THE SAME RIGHTS THAT I HAVE, AND WHO, GROWING UP, WERE TOLD HOW DIFFERENT THEY WERE, AND NOT AS GOOD, MAYBE, AS EVERYBODY ELSE, TO ME AS A LEGISLATOR, AS SOMEBODY THAT CAN DO SOMETHING POLITICALLY AND CONSTITUTIONALLY, I'M MORE COMMITTED THAN EVER. BUT, OF COURSE, NOW THAT I HAVE MORE ALLIES AROUND ME IN DOING ALL OF THIS, I REALIZE IT'S REALLY NOT UP TO ME. I HAVE TO TURN TO THE COMMUNITY AND SAY, WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT TO DO NEXT? HOW DO YOU WANT TO STRATEGIZE WHAT WE DO NEXT? AND HOW DO WE GET WHERE WE WANT TO GO TOGETHER? >> I THINK IT'S DEFINITELY A RELATIONSHIP BUILDING TYPE OF MOVEMENT. IT'S THE COMMUNITY RISING UP AND ULTIMATELY DEMANDING OUR

RIGHTS, DEMANDING MARRIAGE EQUALITY, DEMANDING DOMESTIC PARTNER BENEFITS, AND DEMANDING THAT WE GET RECOGNIZED AS A COMMUNITY IN NEW MEXICO, BECAUSE WE ARE EVER GROWING. WE WANT OUR COMMUNITY TO BE ACCEPTED, NORMALIZED AND VALUED FOR WHO WE ARE, BECAUSE WE BRING SO MUCH RICHNESS TO THIS STATE, THAT TO HAVE THIS COMMUNITY NOT HAVE THE SAME EQUAL RIGHTS IS A TRAVESTY, REALLY. >> PETER, CAN YOU TALK A LITTLE BIT ABOUT HOW THE ACLU HAS WORKED ON SOME OF THESE ISSUES, AND IF SOME OF THIS CAN BE ADDRESSED LEGALLY. NOT ALL OF IT, BUT -- >> I THINK A LOT OF IT CAN BE ADDRESSED LEGALLY. THE SENATOR MENTIONED THE MOVEMENT TO TRY AND SECURE THE FREEDOM TO MARRY FOR LGBT COUPLES, AND I THINK THAT'S ONE OF OUR KEY PRIORITIES IN THIS STATE. I THINK IN NEW MEXICO, WE BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE SHOULD BE TREATED EQUALLY, THAT PEOPLE SHOULD BE NOT TREATED DIFFERENTLY BASED ON WHO THEY LOVE AND BASED ON WHO

THEY WANT TO FORM A RELATIONSHIP WITH. REALLY WHAT IT COMES DOWN TO IS, SAME SEX COUPLES WANT TO GET MARRIED FOR THE SAME REASON THAT OPPOSITE SEX COUPLES WANT TO GET MARRIED. THEY WANT TO SHARE IN THAT UNIQUE KIND OF PROMISE THAT REPRESENTS LOVE AND RESPONSIBILITY AND COMMITMENT. AND I THINK IF HERE IN THE STATE, WHETHER IT'S THROUGH THE LEGISLATURE, OR CONCEIVABLY THROUGH THE COURTS, WE WERE TO SECURE THAT FREEDOM FOR LGBT COUPLES TO JOIN IN THE INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE, WITHOUT PUTTING ANY SORT OF OBLIGATIONS ON ANY CHURCHES, OR ANY OTHER COUPLES, BUT SIMPLY TO ALLOW LGBT COUPLES TO SHARE IN THAT FREEDOM, IT WOULD SEND SIGNALS THROUGHOUT THE COMMUNITY ABOUT THE EQUALITY, ABOUT THE RESPECT THAT OUR COMMUNITY, THAT THE LGBT COMMUNITY DESERVES AT ALL SORTS OF DIFFERENT LEVELS. SO IF WE, IN FACT, HAVE THOSE RELATIONSHIPS RECOGNIZED LEGALLY IN OUR COURTS AND IN OUR LEGISLATURE, IT CREATES A WHOLE DIFFERENT LEVEL OF INTERACTING AND PROTECTIONS

AGAINST DISCRIMINATION, AND ASSURANCES FOR EQUALITY. SO I THINK THAT THAT'S ONE KEY MOVE THAT WE COULD MAKE. >> DOES SOMETHING LIKE THAT IMPACT THE 13-YEAR-OLD KID WHO IS GETTING BULLIED, WHO'S NOT EVEN THINKING ABOUT MARRIAGE RIGHT NOW? DOES THAT HAVE AN IMPACT? IT DOES? >> IT SURELY DOES. I THINK WHEN WE TALK ABOUT ALL OF THESE THINGS, WHEN WE TALK ABOUT HAVING THE RIGHT TO MARRIAGE, WHEN WE TALK ABOUT HELPING SOMEBODY WHO IS HAVING SUICIDAL IDEATIONS, WHO IS GETTING KICKED OUT OF THEIR HOUSE, OR FOR WHATEVER REASON IS HAVING TROUBLE, WE TALK ABOUT HAVING A NEED FOR VISIBILITY, HAVING A NEED TO HAVE OUR COMMUNITY KNOWN AND RESPECTED, WHICH IS SUCH A CRUCIAL KIND OF PART OF LIFE THAT PEOPLE DON'T REALLY THINK ABOUT. OR IT'S, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE A HUMAN IN THE WORLD, AND YOU SHOULD BE RESPECTED FOR WHO YOU ARE AND ACCEPTED FOR WHO YOU ARE. YOU ALSO NEED TO HAVE THOSE PEOPLE THAT YOU LOOK TO THAT CAN TELL YOU, NO, WHAT YOU'RE FEELING IS TOTALLY NORMAL, WHAT YOU'RE FEELING IS FINE.

>> HOW DO WE FAIR GENERALLY IN THE STATE IN TERMS OF MAKING THIS A SAFE PLACE FOR LGBTQ YOUTH? >> WE ARE THE ONLY STATE IN THE COUNTRY THAT HAS NO EITHER LEGAL PROHIBITION OR LEGAL ACCEPTANCE, BY THE SAME TAKEN, OF LGBT RELATIONSHIPS. SO IN SOME WAYS, WE ARE UNIQUE TO THE COUNTRY, AND IT'S THE REASON, I THINK, FOR BOTH NATIONAL ADVOCATES TO LOOK AT NEW MEXICO, I THINK IT'S A REASON FOR WE AS SUPPORTERS OF THE LGBT COMMUNITY, OR MEMBERS OF THAT COMMUNITY, TO REALLY TAKE NOTE OF WHAT WE COULD DO TO CHANGE SIGNIFICANTLY THE ENVIRONMENT FOR LGBT FOLKS IN THIS STATE. AND WHILE WE DO HAVE A BULLYING PREVENTION RULE THAT'S ON THE BOOKS FROM OUR STATE DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION REQUIRING ALL DISTRICTS TO HAVE SOME POLICY THAT ADDRESSES BULLYING, THAT CREATES SOME STANDARDS AROUND HOW THEY DEAL WITH BULLYING, IT DOESN'T GO NEARLY FAR ENOUGH IN ENSURING THAT SCHOOLS WILL, IN FACT, ALLOW GAY-STRAIGHT ALLIANCES TO FORM. AND WE HAVE CERTAINLY ENCOUNTERED A NUMBER OF

INSTANCES WHERE ADMINISTRATORS STAND IN THE WAY OF THOSE CLUBS FROM FORMING. >> HOW CAN LAWMAKERS, LIKE CISCO, MAKE THAT HAPPEN AT THE LEGISLATIVE LEVEL? IS IT ABOUT ADDING TO THAT LAW? >> THE GREATEST VALUE WOULD BE GOTTEN OUT OF INCREASED TRAINING FOR SCHOOLS. NOT JUST ABOUT BULLYING, GENERALLY, BUT MORE SPECIFICALLY ABOUT THE REQUIREMENTS AROUND ALLOWING GSA'S TO FORM SPECIFICALLY. FORMAL PROCEDURES FOR ALLOWING KIDS TO FILE COMPLAINTS IF THEY'VE WITNESSED OR ARE AWARE OF BULLYING THAT'S TAKING PLACE. REQUIRING SCHOOLS TO DO SCHOOL CLIMATE SURVEYS PERIODICALLY, TO FIND OUT WHAT IS THE CLIMATE OF SAFETY AND ATTITUDES TOWARDS VIOLENCE IN THE SCHOOLS. >> I WAS GOING TO BRING THAT UP, BECAUSE JENN AND I HAD A CONVERSATION ABOUT THIS. IT'S CALLED THE YOUTH RISK AND RESILIENCY SURVEY. >> YES. ACROSS THE NATION, THERE'S A YOUTH RISK AND BEHAVIOR SURVEY, WHICH IS PRETTY STANDARDIZED, AND HERE NEW MEXICO WE ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING REALLY POSITIVE. WE ASK ALL THE QUESTIONS ABOUT HOW THINGS AREN'T SO GREAT, BUT WE ALSO ASK SOME RESILIENCY QUESTIONS. SO WE CALL IT THE YRRS; YOUTH RISK AND RESILIENCY

SURVEY. ACROSS THE NATION IN SEVERAL STATES, AND EVEN LARGE SCHOOL DISTRICTS, THEY ASK AN IDENTIFIER QUESTION WHERE THE YOUNG PEOPLE CAN IDENTIFY. AND THIS IS USUALLY UPPER MIDDLE SCHOOL AND HIGH SCHOOL WHEN THEY'RE TAKING THIS, AND SOMETIMES THE IDENTITY QUESTIONS ARE ONLY AT THE HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL. BUT THE YOUNG PEOPLE SELF-IDENTIFY THEIR SEXUAL ORIENTATION, THEIR GENDER IDENTIFY. SO THEN YOU CAN LOOK AT THE POPULATION OF, WHO'S GETTING BULLIED? LET'S LOOK AT ALL OF THESE IN GENERAL, AND THEN LET'S LOOK AT THE YOUNG PEOPLE WHO IDENTIFY AS LESBIAN AND GAY AND BISEXUAL, AND THEN LET'S LOOK AT THE YOUNG PEOPLE WHO IDENTIFY AS TRANSGENDER. SO YOU'RE ABLE TO LOOK AT THIS POPULATION WITHIN A POPULATION AND SEE HOW MUCH MORE THEY'RE AT RISK. AND UNFORTUNATELY IN NEW MEXICO, WE STILL DO NOT DO THAT. SO WE CAN'T GET AN ACCURATE LOOK AT OUR LGBTQ YOUNG PEOPLE ACROSS THE STATE. >> WHY DON'T WE DO IT HERE? >> IT HASN'T BEEN APPROVED YET. >> SO WE DON'T HAVE THOSE NUMBERS? >> WE DON'T HAVE ANY OF THAT INFORMATION. SOME GROUPS WILL, WHETHER IT'S A GSA IN A HIGH SCHOOL, OR THE SANTA FE MOUNTAIN

CENTER'S GSA NETWORK DOES A SCHOOL CLIMATE SURVEY ACROSS THE STATE. BUT THERE'S NOTHING IN THE STANDARDIZED TESTING THAT REPORTS OUT BY COUNTY. >> IS THAT SOMETHING THAT THEY CAN CHANGE IN THE DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH, OR PUBLIC EDUCATION, OR DOES IT HAVE TO BE IN LEGISLATION? >> IT HAS TO BE AT THE STATE LEVEL, I BELIEVE, THROUGH THE DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND PED. >> WE WERE GOING TO HAVE THE DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH ON, THE OFFICE OF SCHOOL MENTAL HEALTH, AND THEIR SPOKESWOMAN IS DOWN WITH THE FLU. SHE'S NOT HEALTHY TODAY. SO, SENATOR McSORLEY, DO YOU THINK THAT YOUR SENSE IN THE LEGISLATURE -- HOW MUCH DOES THIS RISE TO THE LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS FOR YOUR COLLEAGUES? DO THEY UNDERSTAND SOME OF WHAT YOU'VE HEARD THESE KIDS TALKING ABOUT TODAY? >> DEFINITELY, ALTHOUGH A LOT OF THEM STILL NEED TO HAVE THE DOTS CONNECTED. FOR INSTANCE, WE HAVE THE HIGHEST SUICIDE RATE IN THE NATION OF TEENAGERS IN SANTA FE. WELL, WHY? WE HAVE THIS INCREDIBLY HIGH DROP-OUT RATE. WHY? LET'S FILL IN THE BLANKS. LET'S CONNECT THE DOTTED LINES. IF WE COULD KEEP THAT MANY

MORE GAY AND LESBIAN AND TRANSGENDER KIDS IN SCHOOL, AND THEY DON'T DROP OUT, HOW MUCH MORE MONEY IS THAT GOING TO SAVE US? SO I THINK IT'S ONE OF THOSE QUESTIONS OF SPENDING A LITTLE MONEY TODAY FOR SAVING A LOT OF MONEY TOMORROW. >> WHERE DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD SPEND THE MONEY? >> WELL, SCHOOL PROGRAMS. I THINK THE SCHOOLS AND THE SCHOOL HEALTH PROGRAMS ARE THE PLACE TO START IN ALL OF THIS, MAKING SURE THAT WE NOT ONLY HAVE THE SURVEYS, BUT THEN WE HAVE THE TRAINING FOR THE TEACHERS, AND FOR THE PRINCIPALS AND THE ADMINISTRATORS, THAT THEY KNOW HOW TO CREATE THESE SAFE ENVIRONMENTS. WHEN THEY HAVE A PROBLEM, THERE'S A RESOURCE, SOMEWHERE THEY CAN GO TO. AND I THINK THE TEACHERS AND THE PRINCIPALS, IN GENERAL, WANT THIS, AND THEY'RE REALLY CRYING OUT FOR IT FROM WHAT I CAN TELL AND WHAT I HEAR, BUT THERE'S JUST NOBODY IN THE DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC ED SUPPLYING THAT KIND OF LEADERSHIP. >> I KNOW THE DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH HAS THAT OFFICE. THEY GO OUT AND DO SOME

TRAINING ON GAY-STRAIGHT ALLIANCES. THEY HAVE A FEDERAL GRANT. WE HAVE A LITTLE SURPLUS THIS YEAR. IS THERE ANY HOPE OF PUSHING FOR THINGS LIKE THAT? >> MAYBE. IT'S STILL UNCLEAR WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN IN JANUARY. I KNOW THAT THERE'S SOME ROADBLOCKS FROM THE OLD GUARD STILL BEING PUT UP. BUT THERE'S A POSSIBILITY THINGS COULD OPEN UP. >> YOU KNOW, I WOULD HOPE THAT VIEWERS UNDERSTAND THAT THIS NEED IS NOT JUST ABOUT AT THE HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL. I MEAN, STORIES LIKE THE ONE THAT JESSICA SHARED AND MIQUELA SHARED, THOSE ARE DEVASTATING STORIES TO HEAR AND UNDERSTAND. BUT MY QUESTION IS, WHAT HAPPENS TO THOSE KIDS PAST 18? THERE'S A REAL NEED FOR A CONTINUUM OF CARE FOR OUR KIDS. YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT -- WHEN I WENT TO COLLEGE, I WAS ABLE TO COME HOME AT THANKSGIVING, GET ALL MY LAUNDRY DONE, CALL MOM AND SAY, I RAN OUT OF MONEY, CAN YOU SEND ME MORE. WHO IS JESSICA GOING TO DO THAT WITH?

WHO IS JESSICA GOING TO TURN TO, FOR EXAMPLE? AND I'M SORRY, I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND ME USING YOU AS AN EXAMPLE. BUT WHAT HAPPENS TO OUR KIDS WHEN THEY GRADUATE HIGH SCHOOL? THERE'S NO GSA UNLESS YOU GET TO GO TO UNM OR ANOTHER COLLEGE. >> WHAT DO YOU THINK WE NEED? >> I THINK WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS PROBLEM IS -- I MEAN, WE'RE GETTING A LOT OF ATTENTION ABOUT BULLYING OF GAY KIDS, BUT YOUNG ADULTHOOD IS ALSO A VERY HIGH-RISK AGE PERIOD, AND WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT OUR KIDS DON'T HAVE A FAMILY TO GO TO FOR THANKSGIVING OR CHRISTMAS. THEY DON'T HAVE SOMEBODY TO CALL AND SAY, HEY, I NEED HELP. AND ADRIEN REFERRED TO WHAT'S CALLED SURVIVAL SEX. >> WHAT IS SURVIVAL SEX, ADRIEN? >> THAT IS WHEN INDIVIDUALS HAVE SEX TO MEET THEIR SURVIVAL NEEDS. SO IT'S NOT NECESSARILY ALWAYS FOR MONEY. IT COULD BE FOR DRUGS, FOR FOOD, FOR A PLACE TO STAY. TO HAVE SEX IN ORDER TO SURVIVE AS A SORT OF COMMERCIAL TRANSACTION. >> DO YOU HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO COME TO SEEK HELP AT THE TRANSGENDER RESOURCE CENTER, IS THAT SOMETHING THAT IS IMPACTING THEM, THAT THEY ARE ENGAGING IN? >> YES. >> WHAT CAN YOU GUYS DO FOR FOLKS WHEN THEY COME? LIKE, I'VE BEEN KICKED OUT,

I DON'T HAVE A PLACE TO LIVE. >> THOSE ARE RESOURCES THAT WE'RE WORKING REALLY HARD TO CULTIVATE. I'M ALSO ON THE BOARD OF CASA Q, ALONG WITH CYNTHIA. IT'S A COALITION EFFORT. ALMA ROSA HAS JUST RECENTLY AGREED TO JOIN OUR BOARD, AS WELL. WE'RE REALLY TRYING TO BUILD RESOURCES FOR FOLKS AROUND EMERGENCY HOUSING, TRANSITIONAL HOUSING. ONE OF THE THINGS THE TRANSGENDER RESOURCE CENTER IS REALLY WORKING TO CONCENTRATE ON IN 2013 IS TO DO MORE ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT AND REALLY CREATE A JOB FAIR FOR TRANSGENDERED INDIVIDUALS, AND TRY TO HELP CULTIVATE RELATIONSHIPS WITH EMPLOYERS TO HELP THEM UNDERSTAND WHY TRANS FOLKS ARE REALLY GOOD, VALUABLE EMPLOYEES, AND TO HELP TRAIN OUR FOLKS, THE JOB SEEKERS, ON RESUME WRITING SKILLS, INTERVIEW SKILL BUILDING, ALL OF THE DIFFERENT TYPES OF THINGS THAT WE NEED TO HELP PEOPLE BONE UP ON SO THAT THEY'RE BETTER APPLICANTS, AS WELL, AND TRYING TO BRING THOSE GROUPS TOGETHER AND REALLY GET SOME FOLKS EMPLOYED. >> JESSICA, YOU HAVE A JOB. YOU SAID YOU'RE SELF-SUFFICIENT. >> I DO HAVE A JOB, BUT MY CONCERN IS, RIGHT NOW, AS I'M STARTING MY TRANSITION, TRYING TO GET ON HORMONES, DURING THE TRANSITION PROCESS BETWEEN MALE TO FEMALE, AT WORK IT'S NOT

GOING TO BE LIKE I'LL WAKE UP AND GO TO WORK THE NEXT DAY, AND I'M GOING TO LOOK LIKE TATIANA, LIKE ALL DRESSED UP AND LOOK LIKE A WOMAN. I'M GOING TO BE LIKE -- IT'S GOING TO BE KIND OF OBVIOUS. LIKE I'M JUST GOING TO BE LIKE, YOU CAN TELL I'M A GUY WEARING A BRA. SO I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO TRY TO BE COMFORTABLE AT WORK, BUT NOT GET FIRED. JUST TO BE FIRED BECAUSE OF WHO I AM, I WOULD JUST BE DEVASTATED. >> NEW MEXICO IS STILL ONE OF UNDER 20 STATES THAT HAS NONDISCRIMINATION PROTECTIONS FOR GENDER IDENTITY. STILL, THERE ARE 30 PLUS STATES IN THE UNITED STATES THAT DON'T HAVE THAT TYPE OF PROJECTION. BUT JESSICA'S CONCERN IS CERTAINLY STILL VERY WELL FOUNDED. THAT'S THE LIMITATION OF LEGISLATION, IS THEY DON'T HAVE TO STAY TO JESSICA, WE'RE FIRING YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE TRANSGENDER. >> I WOULD SAY THE OTHER LIMITATION IS THAT EVEN IF FOLKS KNOW THAT THEY HAVE THAT RIGHT, THEY MAY NOT BE ABLE TO SECURE THE RIGHT BECAUSE THEY CAN'T HIRE AN ATTORNEY. AND THAT'S WHERE THE ACLU, AND THERE ARE OTHER ORGANIZATIONS AROUND THE STATE, BUT THE ACLU, IN

PARTICULAR, IS PARTICULARLY DEDICATED TO THIS PARTICULAR ISSUE. AND IF FOLKS, BECAUSE OF THEIR SEXUAL ORIENTATION OR THEIR GENDER IDENTIFY ARE EXPERIENCING DISCRIMINATION IN THE WORK PLACE, THAT'S SOMETHING WE'D LIKE TO KNOW ABOUT AND WE'D LIKE TO HELP WITH, ACTUALLY. UNFORTUNATELY, OUR PARTICULAR LAW ONLY PROTECTS THOSE PEOPLE WHO ARE EMPLOYED BY EMPLOYERS WHO HAVE 15 EMPLOYEES OR MORE. >> OH, THERE'S A LOT IN NEW MEXICO THAT HAVE LESS THAN THAT. >> AND THAT IS A PLACE WHERE THE LEGISLATURE COULD MAKE A CHANGE THAT I THINK WOULD EXTEND PROTECTIONS FOR THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY. >> SENATOR McSORLEY? >> ABSOLUTELY. BUT IT WAS A HUGE VICTORY TO GET AS FAR AS TO INCLUDE TRANSGENDER. I THINK WE WERE ONE OF THE FIRST STATES TO DO IT, AND WE WERE SO PROUD OF OUR LAW, TO DO IT. AND ALL OF THE PARADE OF HORRIBLES THAT ALL OF THE OPPONENTS KEPT SAYING WOULD HAPPEN, NONE OF IT HAS HAPPENED IN NEW MEXICO. SO WE KNOW THAT WE CAN APPLY THIS TO ALL EMPLOYERS, BIG AND SMALL.

MAYBE WE'LL LEAVE THE RELIGIOUS COMMUNITY OUT FOR CERTAIN REASONS, YOU KNOW. BUT OTHER THAN THAT, THERE'S NO REASON TO LET THIS GO ON. >> I WAS GOING TO ASK, IN TERMS OF BUILDING ALLIES, HOW CAN PEOPLE WHO SHOW THAT ALLIED FRIENDSHIP TAKE THAT OUT TO THE COMMUNITY? >> IT'S THE NEIGHBOR TO NEIGHBOR RELATIONSHIP. IT'S YOU GOING TO THE GROCERY STORE, AND WHO BAGS YOUR GROCERIES. THOSE ARE THE RELATIONSHIPS WHERE I FEEL LIKE WE CAN BE ALLIES AND SHIFT THAT ACCEPTANCE IN OUR CULTURE, SO THAT OUR STRUGGLE ISN'T SO DIFFICULT. THAT COMING OUT ISN'T SOMETHING THAT WE HAVE TO BE SHAMEFUL OF, OR SOMETHING THAT WE HAVE TO HIDE, AND THAT WE CAN ONLY BE OUT IN THESE PLACES, AND THESE ONES WE HAVE TO BE IN THE CLOSET. WHY DOES ANYBODY EVER HAVE TO LIVE LIKE THAT? PART OF MY WORK IS TO BE ABLE TO WALK IN A SPACE AND BE MY WHOLE SELF. BUT I CAN'T DO THAT ALONE. I HAVE TO DO THAT WITH MY COMMUNITY.

WE HAVE TO HOLD EACH OTHER SOCIALLY ACCOUNTABLE. WE HAVE TO ADD LANGUAGE IN ALL OF OUR POLICIES AROUND GENDER IDENTITY, GENDER EXPRESSION, AND SEXUAL ORIENTATION. WE NEED TO NORMALIZE MY COMMUNITY. >> LOIS, IN PFLAG, DO YOU GET PARENTS WHO ARE COMING IN WHO, YOU KNOW, MAYBE THEY'RE NOT SO SURE THAT THEY SUPPORT THEIR KIDS, THEIR SONS AND DAUGHTERS, BUT THEY COME TO YOU ALL BECAUSE THEY'RE CONFUSED? >> VERY MUCH SO, AND THAT'S WHAT PFLAG IS ALL ABOUT, TO BE SUPPORTING. >> DO YOU THINK THEY THEN KIND OF CHANGE THEIR POINT OF VIEW AS THEY MEET MORE PARENTS? >> IT TAKES TIME. AND I JUST THANK GOD THAT I COULD BE THE MOM THAT I WAS TO BACK MY SON, AND TO LEARN ALONG WITH HIM. >> BECAUSE YOU HAD TO GO AGAINST YOUR FAMILY IN SOME WAYS. >> PRETTY MUCH, PRETTY MUCH. >> HAVING DISCRIMINATION, HAVING STIGMA, IT DOESN'T HELP ANY PART OF OUR COMMUNITY. SO WHEN YOU STRENGTHEN LAWS

AND POLICIES TO PROTECT LGBTQ KIDS FROM BEING BULLIED IN SCHOOL, IT PROTECTS ALL THE KIDS AT SCHOOL, NOT JUST THE ONES WHO IDENTIFY AS LGBTQ. WHEN YOU PROMOTE EQUAL RIGHTS FOR ALL, SO THAT PEOPLE IDENTIFY AS LGBT ARE NOT ESSENTIALLY SECOND-CLASS CITIZENS WITH DIFFERENT RIGHTS THAN THEIR HETEROSEXUAL PEERS, YOU'RE PROMOTING EQUAL RIGHTS FOR EVERYONE. SO IT REALLY IS ABOUT PROMOTING, YOU KNOW, EQUAL RIGHTS, ACCEPTANCE, SAFETY ACROSS THE BOARD FOR ALL. >> HOW DO YOU GET THAT MESSAGE OUT TO PEOPLE? >> I THINK WHAT ALMA ROSA SAID ABOUT THE NEIGHBOR TO NEIGHBOR CONVERSATIONS. THOSE OF US WHO HAVE THE PRIVILEGE OF BEING OUT AND BEING IN A SAFE PLACE WHERE WE CAN BE OUT, TO EDUCATE. WHEN I'M IN A GROCERY STORE WITH MY PARTNER, MY FEMALE PARTNER, AND OUR LITTLE DAUGHTER, AND SOMEONE COMES UP TO ME AND SAYS, OH, WHO'S THE REAL MOM, I HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO SAY, WELL, YOU KNOW, WE'RE BOTH THE REAL MOMS. I GAVE BIRTH, BUT WE'RE BOTH THE REAL MOMS, AND THIS IS OUR DAUGHTER. IN A VERY GENTLE, NONJUDGMENTAL WAY, I THINK

ALLIES HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO COME OUT AS AN ALLY, TO STAND UP, TO EVEN SAY I'M AN ALLY, TO IN THEIR PLACE OF WORK ADVOCATE TO HAVE A MEETING FOR A SPECIFIC FACET OF THE COMMUNITY; IN THIS CASE, LGBTQ. THERE COULD BE OTHER FACETS. SO I THINK THE MORE THAT WE CAN STAND UP AND COME OUT AS AN ALLY, OR AS WHO WE ARE, IT NORMALIZES IT. YOU KNOW, I'M JUST ANOTHER MOM AT SCHOOL. I'M NOT REALLY THAT DIFFERENT THAN MOST OF THE OTHER FAMILIES. >> WERE YOU GOING TO SAY SOMETHING, CYNTHIA? >> I WAS. I WAS GOING TO SAY, THAT CONCEPT OF ALLIES IS, OF COURSE, VERY, VERY IMPORTANT, AND THINK THAT IS WHY WE ARE SEEING THE PARADIGM SHIFT THAT WE ARE SEEING. BUT I DO WANT TO JUST SAY, TOO, THAT THAT CONCEPT OF ALLIES HAS NOT BEEN AN EASY CONCEPT FOR US IN THE GAY COMMUNITY, AT TIMES, ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE OF US THAT ARE OLDER AND HAVE BEEN DOING ACTIVISM WORK FOR A WHILE, YOU KNOW. THERE'S A REAL PART OF OUR COMMUNITY THAT DOESN'T WANT ALLIES, THAT DOESN'T WANT -- YOU KNOW, WE WANT TO BE ABLE TO DO THIS ON OUR OWN. WE DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND OUR NEEDS. WE DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND WHO WE ARE. WE'RE DIFFERENT THAN YOU.

AND SO WE'VE REALLY -- YOU KNOW, THERE'S BEEN SOME PUSHBACK, I THINK, TO SOME EXTENT TO SEE THAT. BUT I WILL SAY THAT YESTERDAY WAS MY BIRTHDAY, AND I FELT LIKE MY BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT WAS SEEING ALL THE PICTURES OF THE PEOPLE GETTING MARRIED IN WASHINGTON. YOU KNOW, IT WAS JUST HEART-BREAKING AND BEAUTIFUL TO SEE THESE COUPLES THAT HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 50 YEARS, 60 YEARS, 29 YEARS, YOU KNOW, TO BE ABLE TO HAVE THAT ACKNOWLEDGED, IT WAS JUST BEAUTIFUL. AND TO SEE THE ALLIES ON THE SIDELINES WITH THE SIGNS THAT SAID, SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG, CONGRATULATIONS. KIDS HANDING OUT FLOWERS TO PEOPLE WALKING OUT OF THE COURTHOUSE, THAT WAS SOMETHING THAT I THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER SEE. >> WELL, MY SENSE IS THAT, AND TELL ME IF I'M WRONG, BECAUSE I'M NOT IN THE TRENCHES EVERY DAY, THAT THINGS ARE SHIFTING MUCH MORE QUICKLY THAN I THOUGHT THEY WOULD, ESPECIALLY WITH EACH UPCOMING GENERATION. IS THAT CAUSE FOR HOPE? >> YOU KNOW, I WAS GOING TO SAY, TOO, THAT THE WOMAN WHO STARTED CASA Q IS A STRAIGHT WOMAN WHO CALLED ME AND SAID, HEY -- OKAY, SHE HAD A MOMENT OF ENLIGHTENMENT AT A

BARRY MANILOW CONCERT. (LAUGHTER) >> HE WAS SINGING SOME SONG, AND SHE SAID, HEY, I THINK THIS IS ABOUT HIM, AND COMING OUT, AND HE'S GAY. SO THAT'S WHEN SHE CALLED ME, AND WE KIND OF MOVED FORWARD. BUT THIS IS NOT ABOUT, YOU KNOW, AT THIS POINT IN OUR CULTURE IT'S NOT ABOUT GAYS VERSUS STRAIGHTS AND WHO CAN GET SOMETHING DONE, THIS IS FOR ALL OF US, AS YOU WERE SAYING. IT'S FOR ALL OF US TO BE ABLE TO HAVE THAT EQUALITY. >> I THINK THAT'S TRUE. >> I THINK THE MOST IMPORTANT THING FOR ALLIES TO KNOW, WHETHER YOU'RE PART OF THE COMMUNITY OR NOT, AND WHEN I SAY THE WORD ALLY, I CONSIDER MYSELF AN ALLY TO EVERYBODY ELSE IN THE QUEER COMMUNITY NO MATTER HOW QUEER I AM. SO I THINK WHEN WE TALK ABOUT ALLIES, I THINK ONE OF THE REALLY IMPORTANT THINGS TO REMEMBER IS TO LISTEN TO THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU. YOU KNOW, I HAD TEACHERS IN HIGH SCHOOL THAT WERE MY ALLIES AND HELPED ME CONVINCE MY PRINCIPAL THAT, NO, I NEED TO HAVE A QSA AT MY SCHOOL, AND THEN HE WAS MY ALLY BY TAKING THAT TO THE PRINCIPAL BOARD OF APS. SO LISTENING TO OTHER PEOPLE'S NEEDS, AND SEEING HOW IT AFFECTS THE ENTIRE

COMMUNITY IS SUCH A HUGE PART OF BEING AN ALLY, AND IT REALLY DOES START ON THAT PERSON-TO-PERSON BASIS, AND SEEING HOW THAT CAN AFFECT EVERYONE AROUND YOU. >> IS THAT SOMETHING GOING FORWARD, THEN, IF WE THINK ABOUT THE TOP FIVE THINGS WE SHOULD BE DOING? >> I THINK AS WE CONTINUE TO KEEP HAVING DISCUSSIONS LIKE THIS, AND BRINGING ALL THESE PEOPLE TOGETHER, FROM THE RESOURCE CENTER, FROM GSA'S, FROM THE SENATE, AND SO MANY DIFFERENT THINGS, WE CAN WORK TOGETHER AND KEEP HAVING THESE DISCUSSIONS TO FIGURE OUT TOGETHER HOW WE CAN MAKE THESE THINGS BETTER, AND WHAT WE CAN DO AS A WHOLE TEAM TO GO OUT INTO THE COMMUNITY AND MAKE THE WHOLE COMMUNITY OUR WHOLE TEAM. >> AND I THINK SENATOR McSORLEY HAD A REALLY GOOD POINT WITH THE FINANCIAL ASPECT. KIDS ARE COMING OUT AT A YOUNGER AND YOUNGER AGE. THE COST OF A KID GETTING KICKED OUT AND HAVING TO GO INTO FOSTER CARE, FOR EXAMPLE, THE COST THAT WE AS TAXPAYERS HAVE TO THEN FACE WITH THE MEDICAID, THE FOOD STAMPS, YOU KNOW. THAT CHILD IS GOING TO NEED THAT GOVERNMENT ASSISTANCE PROBABLY WELL INTO

ADULTHOOD, IF NOT. AND MY PERSONAL FEELING IS, THAT'S YOUR KID. THAT'S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. FINANCIALLY, EMOTIONALLY, AS A PARENT, THAT'S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE CARE OF THAT CHILD, NO MATTER WHAT. AND INSTEAD, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE KICKING THAT KID OUT, AND WE'RE ALL ABSORBING THOSE COSTS. >> SENATOR McSORLEY, DO YOU THINK THERE'S ANYTHING YOU'VE HEARD TODAY THAT WOULD LEAD YOU TO BELIEVE THAT THERE'S SOMETHING THAT COULD BE DONE IN THE NEXT LEGISLATIVE SESSION TO ADVANCE ANY OF THIS? >> THIS VIDEO SHOULD BE REQUIRED WATCHING FOR EVERYBODY IN THE LEGISLATURE, TO MAKE SURE THEY GET IT, BECAUSE I'M STILL AFRAID A FEW DON'T GET IT RIGHT YET. LET ME JUST SAY, THIS IS A SEA CHANGE, THOUGH. WHEN I PASSED THE FIRST AIDS CARE BILL IN AMERICA IN 1984, I COULDN'T EVEN USE THE WORD AIDS. EVERY LEGISLATOR, EVEN THOSE THAT WERE SYMPATHETIC, WANTED ME TO DO IT ON A VOICE VOTE SO THEY WOULDN'T BE COUNTED. BUT THEY WANTED TO DO THE RIGHT THING. THEY KNEW WHAT THE RIGHT THING WAS, THEY JUST DIDN'T KNOW THEY COULD GET

RE-ELECTED. SO NOW, RE-ELECTABILITY DEPENDS ON YOU, THE GAY COMMUNITY, THE STRAIGHT COMMUNITY, THE QUEER COMMUNITY, AND THE YOUTH, AND ALL THE PEOPLE COMING TOGETHER. IT REALLY IS DIFFERENT NOW. AND YES, IT CAN HAPPEN AT THIS SESSION, AND IT SHOULD HAPPEN, QUITE FRANKLY, AND WE HAVE THE MONEY. >> YOU HAVE THE LAST WORD, AND I THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING ON PUBLIC SQUARE AND >> TODAY'S CONVERSATION WAS REALLY POWERFUL. IT WAS A REMINDER OF WHAT I NEED TO DO IN MY COMMUNITY TO CONTINUE TO EDUCATE AND HELP BUILD THOSE ALLIES AND RELATIONSHIPS SO MY COMMUNITY FEELS ACCEPTED. >> I THINK THE CONVERSATION WAS GREAT. I THINK IT'S A CONVERSATION THAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN, I THINK IT NEEDS TO KEEP HAPPENING, AND IT'S ONE THAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN IN A BIGGER PUBLIC SETTING. >> THE QUESTION IS, REALLY, ON CIVIL RIGHTS LAW, ARE THERE PLACES WHERE FOLKS ARE NOT ABIDING BY CIVIL RIGHTS

LAWS, AND I THINK ONE OF THOSE AREAS THAT WE SEE THESE KINDS OF ISSUES POP UP IS WHEN SCHOOLS TRY TO PREVENT STUDENTS FROM FORMING GAY-STRAIGHT ALLIANCES. BUT I DO THINK THAT'S AN AREA WHERE LITIGATION CAN BE VERY HELPFUL, HONESTLY, IN ENSURING THAT STUDENTS HAVE THOSE SAFE PLACES WHERE THEY CAN SHARE THEIR EXPERIENCES AND THEY CAN GET SOME PROTECTION FROM THE PROSPECTS OF BULLYING. >> THE IDEA OF A SHELTER IS NEW TO ME. THIS IS ONE OF THESE IDEAS WHOSE TIME HAS COME, AND IS PAST TIME. BUT I HAD NO IDEA OF THE NEED. AND WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT, IT'S SO LOGICAL, AND YET UNTIL YOU'RE REALLY FACED WITH PEOPLE LIVING THROUGH THOSE KIND OF ISSUES OF HOMELESSNESS BECAUSE OF THEIR IDENTITY, YOU DON'T CONNECT THE DOTS YOURSELF. SO I NEED A LOT OF DOT CONNECTING MYSELF HERE. >> WHAT I HOPE PEOPLE LEARN FROM WATCHING THIS SHOW TODAY IS THAT THEY LEARN HOW AT RISK OUR LGBT YOUTH ARE, AND SOME OF THE NEEDS THAT THEY HAVE, AND THEN THERE'S

SOME SIMPLE THINGS THEY CAN DO TO BE AN ALLY. >> I ALWAYS SUPPORTED BRIAN, GOING WAY BACK TO WHEN HE WAS A LITTLE BOY. AND I'M GRATEFUL THAT I STOOD BY HIM, BECAUSE HE WOULDN'T BE WHERE HE IS >> JOIN US FOR PUBLIC SQUARE ON THE LAST THURSDAY OF EVERY MONTH, AND VISIT THAT'S WHERE YOU CAN SEE AN UPDATE ON A TOPIC WE EXPLORED LAST YEAR, OPIATE ADDICTION. WATCH AN INTERVIEW WITH MAYOR RICHARD J. BERRY AND JENNIFER WEISS, FOUNDER OF THE HEROIN AWARENESS COMMITTEE. >> I'VE BEEN TO A NUMBER OF HIGH SCHOOLS WHEN WE HAVE THE STUDENT ASSEMBLIES, AND I KNOW THAT WE'VE HAD STUDENTS COME UP AFTER THOSE PRESENTATIONS AND TALK TO PEOPLE AND SAY, I NEED SOME HELP TODAY. >> WHAT CAN YOU TELL THEM WHEN THEY SAY THAT? I MEAN, WHAT'S THEIR OPTION WHEN THEY COME UP AND SAY, I NEED HELP NOW? >> SO IF PEOPLE NEED SOME HELP, THERE ARE RESOURCES AVAILABLE. IF YOU JUST WANT TO CALL CITY HALL, CALL THE MAYOR'S OFFICE AND WE'LL GET YOU IN TOUCH WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE. TELL THEM YOU SAW THE MAYOR ON THIS PROGRAM, AND YOU

KNOW SOMEONE THAT NEEDS A HAND. WE DON'T PROVIDE THE SERVICES THROUGH THE MAYOR'S OFFICE, BUT WE'LL BE A BRIDGE AND A CONDUIT FOR PEOPLE TO GET THE HELP THAT THEY NEED. >> GO TO NewMexicoPBS.org AND LOOK FOR "PUBLIC SQUARE" UNDER LOCAL PRODUCTIONS. HERE YOU CAN GIVE US FEEDBACK OR SUGGEST TOPICS. ALSO, LOOK FOR US ON FACEBOOK AND TWITTER.