Seasons of Life; No. 101; Infancy and Early Childhood

<v announcer>Major funding for Seasons of Life has been provided by the Annenberg CPB project. Additional funding has been provided by the John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation, a catalyst for change. <v David Hartman>As we flip through the scrapbooks of our lives and look at the old snapshots from our past, we're aware that we've grown and changed. When we look at our personal growth and change over a long period of time, over an entire lifetime, we're taking what's called a life span perspective. It's a new perspective, an exciting way to look at our lives as a continuous unfolding story. This is a series about growth, about development and about change throughout the lifespan. But exactly how and why do we change over the course of a lifetime? It's a complicated question, but we'll have help. Experts in human development, psychologists, social scientists, they'll guide us throughout the series. They'll comment and clarify each of the seasons of life. We'll also meet real people in intimate and revealing profiles, because each life story is ultimately an autobiography. And we've asked these authors to tell us their stories and we'll discover that their stories are part of our stories, part of the seasons of life. This first program is about infancy and early childhood, the time when the child is too young to tell us his or her own life story, but a time when the foundation for that story is being laid. Our program begins in the countryside in Pennsylvania. Here on this family farm, a story is beginning, it's a simple, yet wondrous story that's beginning wherever anyone is awaiting the birth of a child. It's the story of human development, and that's what our series Seasons of Life is all about. Our story begins at the Kennedy farm. Jim Kennedy owns the land his family has farmed here since 1824. <v Rita Kennedy>Come on. Come on. Suee.

<v David Hartman>Today, the Kennedys own 700 acres. Twice a day, they milk over 70 cows. It's one of the largest dairy farms in western Pennsylvania. Jim's oldest son, Jeffrey, and his daughter in law, Janice, work on the farm full time. And in a matter of days, Jeff and Janice are expecting a baby. It will be their first child and the first grandchild for Jim and Rita Kennedy. And as that time approaches, Jim recalls the night Jeffrey was born, <v Jim Kennedy>That tractor wouldn't start roaring. OK, so I'd have Rita come out there and pull that darn tractor for me and it's cold. And that night she said, I think we better go to the hospital. Well, that time they gave the ladies some what they call a twilight medicine, you know, put you off to sleep and on to sleep, she went off and. Finally got down to the place, says Rita, did we bring you up here to sleep or do we bring you up here to have a baby? So, in the morning then we finally got a baby, but we had to get back home here, you know, to get the milking done. <v David Hartman>And there's still milking to be done, but now Jeff and Janice have their minds on other things.

<v Janice Kennedy>We went to the breathing classes so we can, so I can have it natural <v Jeff Kennedy>Oh they even told us there last class that we get to cut the baby's navel cord, and I'm looking forward to that one. <v Janice Kennedy>And then I've gone in for two sonograms where you can see it moving. And the very first one, it was only about that big and you could just see the little flicker of the heartbeat that was really neat. And then Jeff went with me for the second one and he could see its arms and legs moving. It was really neat. And then they give you a picture to take home with you. So I have two pictures of them already or her, whatever it will be. <v Jeff Kennedy>I don't care what it is. I just want a happy, healthy little baby. It'll grow up just the same as whether it's a boy or girl. And I can just hope that it'll follow our tracks and enjoy the farm as much as we do. <v David Hartman>The first photo of the new baby for the Family album. Three generations of Kennedys will greet this baby, this family, its beliefs, the shared experiences will help shape its future. We're all born into families with their own traditions, with values that form a strong framework for our life story. Inside this house, the first sound of the seasons of life, Justin Kennedy, six pounds, three ounces has come into the world

<v Frances Kennedy>[whistle] and I yawn. <v David Hartman>Justin's life story has begun. <v Frances Kennedy>Oh, no no. Don't you do that. Oh, gosh, [inaudible] can't you do like a rabbit with your nose. <v David Hartman>In the coming years, how he remembers his story and how he tells it will be affected by the stories his family remembers and tells. His great grandfather, Frances, is the keeper of the oldest memories, the family storyteller. One day he may tell Justin about his boyhood on the farm. <v Frances Kennedy>When I started out, we had a team of horses and fourteen inch plow, and that's how around the field you went. One field down the other farmer could show you that that took two days to plow that. No matter how you figured it, it's four acres, you plowed two acres. All around. But that was a nice part about that, too. You know, that horse knowed everything. When you'd ring the dinner bell, the horse knows, hey, stop now, we're going to eat and you didn't have- you didn't have much to say about it. Oh, boy,

<v Rita Kennedy>put a blanket over him so you don't get him all... all dirty. <v Jim Kennedy>Okay, squirt <v David Hartman>from his grandfather, Jim, Justin is certain to hear of his family's deep love for their land. <v Jim Kennedy>Whenever I was a kid, I was born and raised on the other side of that hill there. Down in that valley, and that's where I was born. I was born in a house there. And we always as kids, we always wanted to come to this place because it was so big. There's eight hundred acres on it. No one bothered it. And to walk on it and see what's happening here, see all the wildlife. Hunt for airheads, you tell me, it's great, you know, <v David Hartman>Justin will hear not only stories of life on the farm, but stories of death.

<v Rita Kennedy>About a year before my dad passed away, they bought another place over in Taxemberg, and that's where we were getting ready for their fiftieth wedding anniversary. And the went over father hadn't come in for lunch yet. And so we went out to look for him and I look all around and I couldn't find him at all. So then I went around the cornfield. I see his dog laying up in the cornfield. I went up in there and there he was laying. He had the cornhusker in his hand, a ear of corn in the other hand, his dog sleeping right at his head and he must have [inaudible], just like he must have had a heart attack, never knowed whatever hit him because you couldn't drop the ear of corn or the Cornhusker. Often said, you're got to leave this world, that's a great way to go. <v David Hartman>These stories of life and death, of tradition and belief will be passed on to the newborn Justin Kennedy, like all family stories. They're more than simple tales from the past. They're stories to grow up on. John Kotre, University of Michigan-Dearborn.

<v John Kotre, Ph. D.>I think family stories are very, very important. These stories combine to tell us who we are as a family, what we think about nature, about life, what we think about farming as a way of life. And these stories, when you take them all together, create a kind of web of meaning on which we live our lives. It's like a social womb in which our children can be nourished. <v David Hartman>One week old Justin is a bit young to understand his family's stories, but all the Kennedy's mom included, say Justin is the spitting image of his father, Jeffrey <v Janice Kennedy>Jeff's mom, Monday morning when they come back. She brought a picture with her. She says, oh here are your pictures from the hospital come already. I opened it and looked, looked at it and it looked exactly like Justin, but it was black and white, you know? So I said, this isn't. She said this is, it was Jeff's baby picture. And it looks exactly like Jeff. So everybody, that's what I said, nobody can say it's the milk man's. It's definitely a Kennedy.

<v David Hartman>As a baby, Justin looks like his father did. But when he's grown up, will his life be like his father's? Today, experts tell us that some aspects of a baby's temperament, Justin's as well as other babies, are genetically determined. At birth, some babies may appear content and easygoing. Others are restless, they never quite seem to get comfortable. Long range studies are showing that qualities like these are the building blocks of temperament can last throughout life. Even in the first week of a baby's life, you can tell something about its temperament, but not about its story, not about how he or she will turn out. Trying to understand the mystery, the wonder of life, researchers have become aware of three clocks that affect the way we develop. The first is the biological clock that governs our physical growth. It's the body's way of keeping time. It determines how long we're in the womb, when we're born, when we die. The biological clock ticks throughout the lifespan, but its strongest influence comes early in life. All human beings share the same timetable for growth. It's part of our genetic makeup. <v speaker 1>I'll let you know when I'm ready. Same shot. One-

<v David Hartman>the social clock is society's way of keeping time. It tells us what society expects of us and when. Today, the social clock tells us that as children, we're expected to be in school, that in our 20s we should be working and thinking about marriage and a family, that our 70s are a time for retirement, that in middle age we're supposed to be at the peak of our careers and enjoying grandchildren. These are the age norms of the current setting of the social clock, but the settings change with the flow of history. As the 20th century began, new Americans had a different set of expectations. Not every child was supposed to be in school, many worked in factories and sweatshops. Adolescence as a separate and unique stage of life was a new concept. Life expectancy was less than 50 years. There wasn't time for middle age, let alone retirement. There were fewer seasons of life. <v Frances Kennedy>You want?

<v Martha Kennedy>Sure. <v Frances Kennedy>Be careful, <v David Hartman>Justin's great grandparents, Frances and Martha, responded to that old social clock. <v Frances Kennedy>I know you got to cry. <v Martha Kennedy>I do not. <v Frances Kennedy>What's the matter? <v David Hartman>Young Justin will respond to the social clock set for his generation. <v Frances Kennedy>He loves a cradle. <v Martha Kennedy>Oh, do I? Well, I'll tell you, I've had a lot more experience than him too. <v Frances Kennedy>Is that right? <v Martha Kennedy>Have to get a little basket for him <v David Hartman>at the moment. His major challenge is just to grow. As he grows, the mystery of his life will begin to unfold. In some ways it'll be like all other stories, and that's because of the biological clock. The social clock will make Justin's story like some other stories, like those of his generation. But Justin's story will also be unique, like no other story. And that's because of a third clock, the psychological clock. The psychological clock is another way to describe the passage of time in our lives. It's an individual's own way of keeping time, our own inner schedule for growth and development. The psychological clock drives us to become ourselves. It determines how we move through major passages of life. It expresses our personal sense of the seasons, how old we feel, rather than how old we are. Justin will walk and talk and eventually pass all of life's milestones, not only when his body is prepared, not only when society says he should, but when he is good and ready. At one week, Justin's growth is governed by the biological clock, he hasn't felt the pressure of the social clock yet, and he's awaiting a major psychological development, the formation of a deep and long-lastingemotional attachment. It's wintertime on the Kennedy farm, Justin is now five months old, he's becoming adept at interacting with others, a kind of performer, giving and taking cues. He's discovering that he can have an effect on his surroundings, particularly his mother and father. Dr. Sheldon White, Harvard University. <v Sheldon White, Ph.D.>Babies are born, designed to capture the hearts of parents, to signal distress in such a way that parents move towards them. Babies are born prepared to engage with parents using signals and responses that both the parents and the babies are equipped with. It's as though the parents and the child are born knowing how to dance and then signaling to one another they begin to dance.

<v David Hartman>It's a dance that leads to what psychologists call attachment. An emotional tie to a specific caring adult. At five months, the dance is in full swing. A cry. [Justin cries] And comfort. [squeaking sounds]] An invitation. A response. <v Jeff Kennedy>Where you going?

<v David Hartman>It's a rhythm that connects a parent to a child and the child to a parent. <v Jeff Kennedy>I lay him right down on the couch aand tickle him and tease him. I like to grow and snarl at him. And just, I guess, baby things that I really enjoy them. And I've never been around a baby before and that that I can recall of. My brother is only 12 years old, but still I was a busy kid myself then and never really had the chance to be with him like I am my boy. <v David Hartman>Attachment is a two way street, Geoffrey and Janice formed a bond with their baby a long time ago, but at five months, Justin hasn't fully reciprocated. He'd probably feel secure with almost any adult in just a few months. That will change. <v Speaker>[mooing]. <v Janice Kennedy>Hi Baby.

<v David Hartman>It's spring and everything on the Kennedy farm seems to be growing. Justin is nine months old now. He's out of the house more often. His parents are introducing him to more and more sights and sounds and to some unusual sensations. <v Jeff Kennedy>[inaudible]. <v Janice Kennedy>Ew yucky. Ah! She got your whole hand in. <v David Hartman>Justin's sense of attachment, is now much more specific. Justin is now attached to. <v Justin Kennedy>m-mama. <v Jeff Kennedy>peekaboo! <v David Hartman>And he's attached to his dad too. <v Jeff Kennedy>Peekaboo! <v David Hartman>Babies complete the attachment process between five and nine months of age because they've learned that objects and people stay in existence even when they're out of sight. Even though I can't see dad, he's still here. I can count on that so I can count on him. To survive a creature as helpless as a human infant must have an attachment to a caring adult. Professor Urie Bronfenbrenner, Cornell University. <v Urie Bronfenbrenner, Ph. D.>We find that the most important factor in the development of competence and character, in fact, throughout life, not just in early childhood, is involvement in reciprocal joint activity between people who have an irrational attachment to each other. Two people who are crazy about each other, where do you find that? It's hard to find. Except, in fact, there it's routine. And in general, the most important conclusion that research in the last, say, decade and a half, although it's built up over many decades, leads to is that the family is the most humane, the most powerful, and by far the most economical system known for making and keeping human beings human.

<v David Hartman>But the American family has changed dramatically in the past few decades as more and more women have gone out to work. In fact, more than half of the mothers of infants work outside the home. Their children need daycare. These parents often wonder whether day care will weaken the attachment between them and their child. There's another question about attachment. Every working parent asks, will my child be OK with somebody else, especially at daycare centers? This is Diane Templer. She already has a three year old daughter in the Louise toddler program. And now she's enrolling Grant, who's just six weeks old. She knows her daughter is thriving, but it's still awfully hard to leave little grant. <v Diane Templer>It's very difficult for me as a new mother to leave such a little baby, even though I know that I'm leaving them in very competent hands here, Louise. But nevertheless, it's it's very trying to have to leave such a little guy in someone else's hands. I'm not 100 percent sure that this is the best thing for my children. I'm not 100 percent sure that staying home with my kids would be the best thing. So it's I think it's just a lot harder in today to during these times to determine what is best for your children when there are so many different options.

<v David Hartman>But for many, working mothers, day care is not just another option. That's the case with Caroline Stevens. <v Caroline Stevens>You ready for the day? It's definitely a necessity. Out of a single parent home. Daycare is definitely a necessity. The one reason why I like this center especially is because I can come at lunchtime and spend my time with Brandon. And that at least we have time together during the day and we can become more attached that way. Well, I'm off, Bye sweetie. Don't pay me any attention. I always have mixed feelings when leaving my child to go to work. Well, see you guys later. <v daycare worker>OK, buh-bye.

<v Caroline Stevens>I just feel so bad about leaving him all day and while I work, but it's essential. I have to work, so I had to leave him. But it's tough. It's real tough. <v Janice T. Gibson, Ph.D.>Currently in the United States, just as in most industrial countries in the world, women are entering the workforce and parents write to me continually about their concerns about day care. What they're saying is, is something bad going to happen to my child because I'm giving him up for somebody else to take care of? The answer really is no. If, in fact, you get someone with who will provide excellent daycare, the same kind of care that you would provide yourself. So it's the contact. It's not just the physical contact, it's the emotional contact of the caretaker. And we know that's a critical component of development of life of young kids <v David Hartman>in the United States today, infants can form as many as three attachments, one with their mother, one of their father, and one with a baby sitter or daycare provider. In other cultures, multiple attachments are looked upon as a kind of insurance policy or a safety net for the child. That seems to be the idea here at the Kennedy home too. Justin has lots of adults to look after him. It's late August now and a special time at the Kennedy's. Justin is one year old. <v Janice Kennedy>Can you blow it out?

<v Speaker>[chatter and laughter] <v David Hartman>as an adult. Justin won't remember his first birthday or his first year of life. That's because he doesn't yet have the language to store these events in his memory. You'll see lots of pictures and hear lots of stories about what he was like as a baby. Like all of us, Justin will depend on his family's memories to recreate this part of his life. Justin's first year has been important, but exactly how important, how will the subsequent seasons of life be affected by the first year of life? On this one, the experts seem to disagree. <v Janice T. Gibson, Ph.D.>That first year is probably the most important year in the individual's life. That first year sets the stage for everything else to follow. Whatever comes next is not irreversible and the child is not stuck. There are many paths he can still follow, but we've certainly changed the odds in one direction or another. <v Sheldon White, Ph.D.>How important is it in the sense that there are some things that parents absolutely must do and if they don't, everything goes to hell. Most developmental psychologist believe that children are reasonably well buffered, that if they get anything that approximates reasonably decent treatment that they can come through. In fact, they can come through very severe stress since I mean, I would think that the first year of life is as important as any other year of life, but it is probably not as critical as a few people have said.

<v David Hartman>This apparent disagreement has a long history and has been strongly affected by the work of Sigmund Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis. Freud's technique of interpreting dreams and early memories led him to believe that how we ended up in life was often determined by how we began, like what happened to us in infancy and childhood. One who took a different path was Erik Erikson. Still active in his 80s, Erikson is regarded as a pioneer of the life span perspective. He created a theory of human development that went far beyond Freud's. Not only were infancy and childhood important, so were adolescence, adulthood and old age. Bernice Neugarten, the University of Chicago. <v Bernice Neugarten, Ph.D.>Erickson came along and really said, But wait there is life after five and there's life after adolescence. And he said also there's life after 40. He didn't use those words, but he certainly used that concept. And he began to trace what he thought were the major psychological tasks for persons as they grew through adulthood into old age and talked then about major tasks for the ego or the self. And that changed person's views in very important ways. So that I think he had an enormous effect on saving lives don't end or get formed or get predictable in the first part of the life span.

<v David Hartman>No one can predict Justin's future. We simply don't know how his story or any of our stories will come out. But we do know that he's made attachments that will last a lifetime. <v Jim Kennedy>You and I can go bluuh, can't we?

<v David Hartman>Ten months have passed, Justin is 22 months old. <v Rita Kennedy>Tractor. Where's pap-pap? <v Justin Kennedy>Pap-pap tractor. <v Rita Kennedy>Yea, pap-pap's tractor <v David Hartman>Pap-pap's tractor. Some psychologists will tell you that the first combination of words is more important, more uniquely human than the first word itself. <v Justin Kennedy>Oh. Oh. <v Janice Kennedy>Ooh, want me help?

<v Justin Kennedy>Help. <v Janice Kennedy>There. <v Justin Kennedy>All right. <v Janice Kennedy>Another one? Oh, you want that one on there? Push. <v David Hartman>We don't know why language begins to explode at this age, but scientists have observed the same pattern in children all over the world. Many believe that we're born with that ability to acquire language. <v Janice Kennedy>All aboard. <v David Hartman>Justin's infancy is coming to a close, though he still has that same easygoing temperament he had as a newborn, but now he's got much more personality and he's starting to put a few words together into little sentences. The ancient meaning of that word infant is not speaking. And since Justin is about to talk up a storm, it's a sign that his infancy, his a period of not speaking, is over. Justin Kennedy is about to enter early childhood. In future programs we'll get to know Kennedys in other seasons. For Justin, these seasons lie just ahead. About 50 miles southeast of the Kennedy farm is the town of Jeanette, population 15000 here in the hills of western Pennsylvania, another life story is unfolding. It will be a different story than Justin Kennedy's, a different setting with a different cast of characters. Meet Meredith Wilson. She's 13 months old now. Meredith doesn't have the extended family that Justin does, she's primarily dependent on her parents, Patty and her husband, Phil, who are both 31. And Meredith has her own temperament. <v Patty Wilson>Hey, Phil, are you up yet?

<v Phil Wilson>Not yet, about to come out. <v Patty Wilson>All right, shes coming-. Meredith is a very demanding baby, she's very active, physically. Constantly moving even when you lie her down to change her diaper. It's a struggle simply because she wants to be up and, you know, dancing and reaching and pulling and everything else. But it wears you down after a while. That's a girl. Where is your belly? <v David Hartman>At the age of 13 months, Meredith has come to realize that she is a being in her own right. A self has been born and I that knows it isn't you. That self will eventually make its own meaning, keep its own time and write its own story. <v Speaker>[talking and screaming] <v David Hartman>mornings at the Wilson House can be a bit hectic, both Patty and Phil work <v Phil Wilson>It's raining. <v Patty Wilson>Oh. [inaudible] <v Phil Wilson>Are you working a full shift today or are you going to be home at lunch?

<v Patty Wilson>No, I'll be till four so you'll-. <v David Hartman>Young Meredith has another attachment besides her mother and dad while her parents are at their jobs. Meredith spends the day with her aunt. <v Phil Wilson>I should be done around 4:00, so I'll be able to be back. I'll see you later. <v David Hartman>Like the majority of children in America, she waves goodbye to her parents each morning, <v Phil Wilson>Buh-bye, I'll see you later. <v David Hartman>The stories that Meredith hears will be different from those of Justin. They may be stories filled with adventure. Patty works for the fire department. After an unpaid maternity leave, she returned to work when Meredith was five months old. Patty recalls one way in which Meredith has changed her and Phil's life. <v Patty Wilson>We'd been married eight years before she was born. So we had a lifestyle pattern. We had a budget and cash flow, if you want to call it that, established for a long time and with suddenly half of the income gone. It was it was a change that we weren't prepared to maintain, <v David Hartman>Meredith's life story is sure to be surrounded by pictures. Her father is a photographer for the local newspaper. He works in the field and in the darkroom, developing and printing the pictures that will run in the daily paper.

<v Patty Wilson>Hi, hi angel. How's my big girl? <v David Hartman>It's only at the end of the workday that the Wilson family is together again. As new parents Phil and Patty are discovering that they are changing in response to Meredith, that's a dynamic new way of thinking about human development. Lifespan psychologists say that development is reciprocal. Phil and Patty's behavior is affecting Meredith, but we tend not to think as much about how Meredith is changing Phil and Patty. In a later program, they'll tell us how she's giving a new twist to their life story. <v Phil Wilson>Well, now that I'm thirty one, I have a little girl, which has changed everything because I think my expectations for the future are sort of centered around what I can do for her so far as I'm making plans, really making them for her. <v David Hartman>Alice Rossi, University of Massachusetts.

<v Alice S. Rossi, Ph.D.>For many young men, becoming a father is their very first experience in being genuinely and obsessively concerned for the to protect, to cherish, to care for this other young, fragile child. In my own work, I have seen an increase in what you could call expressivity in men who become fathers, and that may be in the cards for this young daddy. <v David Hartman>Phil's pictures of Meredith record her physical growth, the insistence of the biological clock. Inside, the psychological clock adds a new dimension to her sense of self. Meredith has learned that the little girl she sees in the pictures is herself and not some other child. At two, Meredith takes delight in exploring the world outside herself and new sights, new smells, new tastes, and Phil and Patty noticed something new in her. <v Phil Wilson>She gets more fun as time goes on. She's more of a person now. Its easier for me to relate to her. If we take our time with her, she'll show us a lot of interesting things, things that we wouldn't have noticed or nuances on things or just feelings.

<v David Hartman>At two, Meredith's principal psychological task is to strengthen her sense of self, to make it clear that she has a will of her own. <v Patty Wilson>You just got daddy all wet. You stinker. You stinker. <v Phil Wilson>Watcha doing up there? <v Patty Wilson>OK? <v David Hartman>Meredith is a toddler now and toddlers need shoes. Her biological clock is ticking quickly and physically she's growing fast. <v Patty Wilson>That's what the ladies gonna do when it's your turn. <v David Hartman>Meredith's not only growing physically, but socially too. <v Patty Wilson>That's not your bottle. That's the baby's bottle, <v David Hartman>a baby bottle still looks good, but the social clock is ticking. It says, act your age. <v Patty Wilson>Honey, I don't have a bottle. I just don't have a bottle today because you're getting too big for a bottle. [Maredith cries] I know.

<v David Hartman>Meredith is already too old for something, <v Patty Wilson>OK, want to ask him for a pretzel? Say please, please. OK, you go ask nicely pretzel, please. <v David Hartman>She's at the age where it's time to assert I'm not you, I know what I want. <v Patty Wilson>Oh, well, I know she's going to be an independent person and I bless her for it, but it's tough on me now already. It's going to be hard to let go. But she's already showing me when to let go, when she's ready to try something new. <v David Hartman>Like all of us, Meredith and her mother alternate between attachment and separateness, between dependence and independence. That independence in a toddler is sometimes called the terrible twos. But according to experts in child development, the terrible twos are a healthy sign. Janice Gibson of the University of Pittsburgh. <v Janice T. Gibson, Ph.D.>The child initially begins by becoming very difficult. What the child is learning is that he or she is totally independent of the mother. And the first step is to begin to practice what he in fact can do without the mother. The favorite word and often the first word for many kids is no. And it's no, because it's an absolute opposition to what the primary caregiver wants. And it's a sign of independence and it's a sign of development.

<v David Hartman>As Meredith grows, so does her sense of self. Her growth of self is deeply tied to her ability to use language. Meredith is developing a growing body of commentary on herself. She can tell you that she's a good child, just as her parents say that she's a girl and different from her new baby brother. Now, Meredith's a little over four years old and she's still active, <v Patty Wilson>Want to go outside and play?

<v David Hartman>Her little brother Adam is now a year and a half. <v Patty Wilson>Go out. You're waving to- <v David Hartman>Phil and Patty feel they've raised Meridith and Adam the same way, but their personality seems so different, they have different temperaments. Adam will sit quietly in his swing for long periods of time, but Meredith just can't stay still. <v Patty Wilson>Meredith is a spotlighter. She loves the spotlight. Adam is an observer. He loves to watch. And I think that Meredith was always early to crawl early to walk early to do anything that I could not imagine she could do. She's always been. Very physically inclined. Um. <v Phil Wilson>And she doesn't seem like like you can't take her out in the backyard and have her run around for 20 minutes and then she's quiet. She's pretty constant. <v David Hartman>Some of the most important research in infant and child development today underscores what parents like Patty and Phil know intuitively. Children are different, temperaments and dour <v Sheldon White, Ph.D.>babies are not all alike. We have quite clear evidence now from a number of laboratories showing that there are consistent differences in the ways in which babies react with other people, their emotional control, the way in which they approach new situations. And those differences can be found in babies from the first to the fifth year of life, running like a thread, differentiating babies across the early part of the lifespan.

<v David Hartman>Two mornings a week, Patty takes Meredith to a nursery school. Now Meredith is moving beyond her family. <v Patty Wilson>Okay, let's get to <v David Hartman>the cast of characters in her life. Story is expanding. <v Speaker>[kids talking] <v David Hartman>After saying goodbye to her mother, Meredith joins the other girls. That's not unusual. By the age of three, children know that people are either male or female and they know what they are. And when given the opportunity, they sort themselves into the same sex playgroups. <v Janice T. Gibson, Ph.D.>Females in our society, as in all other societies in the world, tend to play female stereotypic games. These include games associated with domesticity, taking care of other children, doing household tasks, caring for babies in particular. Boys tend to enjoy playing outside and playing aggressive games. It's impossible to say whether or not our teaching of male and female stereotype play is playing the major role in this extremely important difference in behavior, or whether some of that may, in fact be innate.

<v Speaker>[children playing] <v David Hartman>By the age of three children know whether they're boys or girls and they act like it, but they've also developed in another way they can remember things and tell you about events in their lives, the beginning of what the researchers call autobiographical memory. <v children>I pledge to the flag of the United States of America. And to the republic for which it stands, One Nation under God and indivisible with liberty and justice for all [children singing]

<v David Hartman>autobiographical memory blossoms around three or four because children finally have the mental tools to remember events in their lives and the language skills to communicate these events. <v Phil Wilson>You can read her a book and then she'll know the story so that she can sit down with it and turn the pages. And she knows what happened on that page. In the same way with books, there were books that I could recite. Madeleine is one, you know, where you get to Patty and I would be in a car and we'd say, you know, twelve little girls in two straight lines, blah, blah, blah, and go through the whole thing. And we knew the whole book off by heart because she wanted that book. We'd read that every night and the elephant said, Bernie, only an elephant's foot could break a wagon in half like that. <v David Hartman>As human beings, we were all storytellers, which means we put the experiences of our lives in an order that makes sense. But like Meredith, our autobiographical memory doesn't start till about the age of three or four. Possibly her earliest memories will be of these intimate moments with her father.

<v Phil Wilson>Do you want those animals to keep breaking your toys? Bernie asked. I'll hide all my toys. Walter said desperately. Then they'll get angry, Bernie said, and they'll come and eat you up. <v David Hartman>Psychologists say that our first memories don't have that much to do with our childhood. They have everything to do with our adult lives that we dip back into the well of experience and draw out the memories, which makes sense in terms of our present selves. <v John Kotre, Ph. D.>Freud said that what happened in the early years determines how I turn out today. OK, what I'm saying here is that as we try to remember our lives, as we reconstruct our lives, we get some perception of who we are now. And then we select with an unconscious eye some memory that goes to the very beginning of our lives as we can remember it, that symbolizes who we think we are today. It may be, and I believe this to be true, that very often your selection of this first moment to remember in your life says a lot about who you are today and about how your story is coming out today. <v Phil Wilson>Mug of warm cocoa

<v David Hartman>in future programs. We'll hear a number of people tell their stories, stories whose opening scenes revolve around parents and families. <v speaker 2>I remember clearly the day I went to her and said, Grandma, your apron pocket is loose. And she just reached down and ripped it off. <v speaker 3>I played in the streets and my mother would call me through the window and she would call me in Yiddish, of course. <v speaker 4>We are sitting on my bed. It was just myself and my mother. And she asked me, what are we going to do? <v speaker 5>I remember it was around Christmas time and I'd ask my mother, well, mommy, one daddy coming to bring us our presents. And she'd look at me. <v speaker 6>I'll never forget, one day I was walking home from school just as I crossed over the railroad track I saw an ambulance go by and I had this terrible feeling. <v speaker 7>And I remember sitting in the back seat of our Chevrolet and waiting and waiting and waiting and asking, is this is it? Is this it? <v speaker 8>Well, anyway, your momma had a purple peticoat and it russled when she walked, it was taffeta with a ruffle at the bottom. You know how pink edges, well anyway <v speaker 9>you know and if you just say color-

<v David Hartman>it appears that the question who am I can often be answered by going back to our first memories of life, to the age when we started to become skillful and confident in describing our experience. <v teacher>Can you remember a vacation that maybe you went to that you really enjoyed a lot? <v child>I went to Florida and I liked these mosquitoes buzzing around. <v teacher>You don't like the mosquitoes buzzing around? <v child>yes, I do. <v teacher>You do? <v child>I like them to bite me so I can scratch the mosquito bites. <v teacher>Oh, my. I don't like scratching mosquito bites. <v child>I do. <v teacher>You do, huh? Elizabeth what are some of the things you like to do here? <v Elizabeth>Go outside and play on the swing with Mariah Bush and being fast, som-. <v teacher>Mariah Bush goes fast on the swing huh? <v Elizabeth>Sometimes I go cuckoo and knock myself out. <v teacher>We're going to talk <v David Hartman>today these fragments of recollection are the very beginnings of autobiography for these youngsters years from now, some memory from this time of life, a memory of mosquito bites or of a move to a new home or the birth of a new brother or sister will become the earliest memory we have. <v John Kotre, Ph. D.>At this age, kids know what a story is, they love stories, they love to listen to stories. They have the ability to tell stories of things that happen to them so they can tell you stories from a life, although they don't yet have a story of a life. Sometimes it's easier for them to tell a story with pictures than it is to tell a story with words.

<v child 2>when- when you're done I'll tell- you tell me and when I'm done I'll tell you, ok? <v Lindsey>Ok. <v child 2>Ok, Lindsey? <v David Hartman>Children form pictures of themselves in the early years and if they can't tell you what they see in words, they can tell you a great deal through art in infancy and earliest childhood, the authorship of a life story is in the hands of others parents, grandparents, day care workers, babysitters. But now we join in. Nancy Smith, art educator in Boston uses her knowledge of human development to teach art. Before they actually pick up a brush, the children think of ideas for their paintings. <v child 3>I like to watch TV in my mother's room.

<v Nancy Smith>In your mother's room. <v child 4>I like to go horseback riding, but I can't do it because, um, my my mother and father don't have enough money but-. <v David Hartman>The emphasis is on what the child thinks is important. <v child 4>My mother's, um, making books and also she's writing them so we can have a lot of money to buy a farm. <v Nancy Smith>Oh, and then you could have lots of horses. <v child 4>yea <v David Hartman>Preschool children often choose family themes for their pictures of four year old artist called his painting me upstairs in bed. It shows the safety and security of being at home. These are pictures which Smith says reflect actual events. For instance, what the loss of a pet means to this youngster. <v child 5>This is my dog that died a few months ago. And, uh, once me and my mom and my sister and my-. <v Nancy Smith>A lot of people.

<v child 5>Yea, my family. We found a water slide, we got up the stairs and just slid down and it was so fun. <v Nancy Smith>These children are almost unable to not tell you the whole story. They want the full story in the picture. So you have I can ride my bicycle or I can make a goal playing soccer or I can do hopscotch. This is what I'm competent at or this is what's grand about my family. So its that statement, that communication both to the self and to the rest of the world that creates growth, inspires growth. <v Speaker>[Children talking]. <v Nancy Smith>What this is, is the roots of it all. This is the beginning of it all. This is a great, enormous tree and these are it's very little first emergings. <v Speaker>[indistinct chatter]

<v David Hartman>In the beginning of life, it's our families who write the stories, but then we grow up and we start to do it for ourselves and in no time at all, it seems we're ready to take a big step, scary step, and that is to leave the farm or the apartment or whatever we've known at home and go to school. Just down the street is the next chapter in the story of our journey through life. That step is about to be taken on a September morning in this apartment in Roxbury, Massachusetts. It's the first day of school for Jamila Johnson. She's six. She lives with her grandmother, Harriet Lyons. <v Harriet Lyons>Grandma has got more jitters than you have. <v David Hartman>the jitters often occur on a child's first day at school. Both Harriet and Jamila are aware that this is a rite of passage, a day when Jamila leaves the security of early childhood to begin a new season. <v Harriet Lyons>Pretty. Even prettier. You can't go a long time without getting your hair combed any more.

<v Jamila Johnson>yea <v Harriet Lyons>Can you remember? <v Jamila Johnson>Yes. <v Harriet Lyons>There you go. You do that like a veteran already. I'm proud of you. OK, that's it. And we're going <v David Hartman>as she leaves the familiarity of her apartment, Jamila probably has mixed feelings <v Harriet Lyons>Wait till we get up here, you'll see them. <v David Hartman>One adult who knows a lot about how children feel about going off to school is Fred Rogers of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood. As a caring citizen of a famous neighborhood. He has always been concerned with the uniqueness of the developing young person. In the neighborhood of Make-Believe, Fred uses puppets he's created to put children in touch with their own feelings and with the outside world. Fred, can you say that there are some important do's or don'ts for parents as they send their children off to school for the first time? <v Fred Rogers>I feel that the best thing that parents can do for their children is to listen to them and to help them to express what their feelings might be. Ask them such things as, have you ever been to school before? What do you think it's going to be like? Who do you think's going to be with you? And questions like that that allows the child to start to say what really is inside rather than, oh going to be a wonderful experience. You know, just going to be great. Oh well, when I went to school I made all As. You know, the very, very best thing that we can do is to listen first and then tell much later.

<v Lady Elaine>Attention, attention. <v Fred Rogers>What for Lady Elaine? <v Lady Elaine>Oh, just trying to get everybody in shape for school. <v David Hartman>In this scene from one of Mr Rogers daily PBS programs, Lady Elaine is not listening to what Prince Tuesday has to say. <v Prince Tuesday>I don't know.

<v Lady Elaine>But you have to know you can't go off to school not knowing everything. They're going to be ready and I'm going to make them ready. <v Prince Tuesday>I don't think I want to go to school. <v Lady Elaine>Of course you do. <v David Hartman>Fred, how important, how significant is that first day when a child is kind of launched out of the cocoon into school? <v Fred Rogers>For any new steps that we take, David, I'm sure you've known that in your life, even if it's scary to begin with, even if it's hard, once you've accomplished it, you feel as if you've grown and there's no better feeling in life than to realize, hey, I was able to do it and tomorrow I might even do it better. <v David Hartman>Infancy and early childhood, a time filled with tomorrows, a time of tremendous physical growth. It's also a time when the foundation of our life story is being laid, when we discover the self and when our earliest memories are formed. In the next program, childhood and adolescence, we'll see what happens on Jamila Johnson's first day of school. We'll meet other young people, teenagers, trying to find out who they are, what they want to do and how they fit into the adult world. They'll tell us their stories. And as they do, we'll discover that their stories are part of our story, part of the seasons of life. <v announcer>Major funding for Seasons of Life has been provided by the Annenberg CPB project. Additional funding has been provided by the John D. and Catherine T MacArthur Foundation, a catalyst for change. For information on the college telecoix, videocassettes, audiocassettes, off air taping and books based on the series call one 800 Learner. This is PBS. A companion book to the series written by John Kotre and Elizabeth Hall has been published by Little Brown, it is available in bookstores or at your library.