Rock School; The Music Of James Bond

Portions of the day's programming are reproduced by means of electrical transcriptions or tape recordings. Rock School! With your hosts, Dr. Joe Burns. Why you put objects in this man's way is that he can run up a 10 -foot wall as if I'm stepping over a blade of grass. And Chad P. That would be bad. Who's the other one? Bert Reynolds. Oh no! No, you can't have an American, that's the thing. Gregor, Gregor, this is Jane Bond. Class is in. Good

afternoon ladies and gentlemen, this is Rock School. My name is Joe Burns. And I am a professor in the Communication Department's Southeastern Louisiana University. Sitting next to me, I'd like my Martini shaken, not stirred. Sitting next to me, a young man who's learning the ropes of the 007 way of life. What's your name, young man? He. Chad P. Oh, very nice, very unre -host and everything. You'll probably can tell this is my bad Sean Conry accent. Is it bad? Is it pretty good? It's about mediocre. It's mediocre, very good, then I'll continue with it. We are doing today the music of James Bond. Ladies and gentlemen, I have yet to see Quantum of Solace because new father, it's not exactly the best movie to take a daughter to, but they're in daycare. They'll be in daycare. We're recording the show on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. They'll be in daycare on Wednesday. My wife is off on Wednesday. I'm off on Wednesday and guess what we're going to go do? Watch Kung Fu Panda. No, we're going to go

see the new movie. I don't know whether it's just because I'm a guy or it's because it's because it's a decent set of movie, but I think it's more than I just possess an ex on a Y chromosome. I love James Bond films. It's absolutely a set of guy movies. Adore them to death. And what I figured we would do with the new James Bond film out there, it's Thanksgiving, it's a big movie weekend. Christmas is coming up, big movie weekend. And even though this Quantum of Solace isn't getting the best reviews, it's kind of like the new Rocky. If you like them to heck with what the critics say. Yeah. So let's get into a whole bunch of music from James Bond. If you're going to start, you got to start with what? The theme. The theme song. Monty Norman played it. It got into a bit of a copyright with the man who orchestrated it. John Barry, but it was orchestrated through the next 10 Bond films. And if you can't sing this, you have been living in a cave. It came out of Dr. No in 1962, honeywriter. You remember her coming up out of the water in

that white bikini? The problem is I can only see Mike Myers coming up out of the, he ruined it. Yeah, he really did. And I get it's in my head. Play the song. Play the song. Get out, get out. Ladies and gentlemen, Bond for an hour on Rock School. Nice seventh chord to finish it off. Wow, isn't that nice? I have the irresistible urge to go peak around corners now. Every guitarist in the world, if you haven't played that shame on you, pick up your guitar and, what kind of drink does James Bond drink? He drinks a martini. Well, he drinks a kind of martini. If you go to the first Bond book, Casino Royale, he drinks a vodka martini. OK. And here is the exact recipe. Three measures of Gordon. One

measure of vodka. A half measure of, I'm not sure how to pronounce this, quina liet, L -E -L -L -I -T, that's a vermouth, shake very well until ice cold and add a large thin slice of lemon peel. It's called a medium vodka martini. Now, why shaken, not stirred? Any idea? Well, I have no earthly idea. Three reasons. Number one, shaken is colder than stirred. You ever drank a martini? One time. OK. Not a fan. It's battery acid. So you want to get it as cold as possible, whatever, whip right past the tongue. Number two, shaking does what's known as brushing the gin. Now, I'm not a big drinker. But putting air into the mix makes it taste better. That's called brushing the gin. OK. Finally, shaking it dissolves the vermouth better, giving the drink a less oily taste. So that's the reason for it. It also chips up the ice. From what I've been told, it makes the ice better. OK. And apparently, if you

stir it, you sometimes can chip out and you get little chunks in the drink. But somebody told me that shaking, it doesn't do that. You've got to follow all these steps to make a drink taste good. Why don't you just drink a bottle of water or something? Because that's not cool. That doesn't get you women at the places to play bakarats all the way. Perfect segue, perfect segue. Cool and getting women. So who's your favorite James Bond actor? Oh, I got it. Sean Cordenray. OK. Not even a question. What about a, what about, I kind of like Roger Moore? Oh, I do too. The thing is Roger Moore isn't gritty enough for me. What do you mean? Roger, well, when Roger Moore, you know, John Connery would throw a punch boom. And the guy would go, oh, and fall down. But the thing about it is, Roger Moore would throw a punch and be like, oh, dear, I seem to have lost the entire crease in my pants. He just doesn't seem enough gritty to me. I don't know. Many people have played, let's see. He's Pierce Brosnan. Six. Six of them. There they are. Sean Connery, George Lazenby, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan, Daniel Craig. I like Pierce Brosnan. So do I. So do I. I like him, too. What about all these other guys? Ah, fah. Fah. Sean Connery, Roger Moore, and I like the new guy, Dan

Craig. OK. I like him, too. All right. The next one was called Russia, or from Russia, with love that was 1963. But the next song we're going to play, 1964, Shirley Bassie, Goldfinger. All right. What's the guy? Now, what's the line? What's the line you have to know from Goldfinger? Do you expect me to talk? No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die. Wow. There we go. Hey, your glasses, just print. Wow. Shirley Bassie hitting the high notes

and Goldfinger. By the way, it's denoted or suggested that 80 % of the world's population has seen the movie Goldfinger. It may very well be the most viewed movie on Earth. Definitely one of Goldfinger. The next one in line comes from 1965, and that's Thunderball, and that's Tom Jones. I'm not going to play it, because I got to tell you, when you have Tom Jones as your lead singer, you want something like what's new, pussycat, and it's not unusual. It really is a slunker. They gave him a nice slow, the thing you should remember from Thunderball is Bond flying away in his jetpack. So let's move forward. 1967, you only live twice. Yeah, twice. What do you have to know from 1967, you only live twice? Dr. Evil from the Austin Powers. By the way, when he brings his pinky up and bites it, that comes from Lauren Michaels from Saturday Night Live. Really? Yeah, the guy Lauren Michaels, that's the producer. Yeah, he apparently pulls his pinky up and bites on it when he's thinking of things.

That comes from Lauren Michaels. 100 million dollars. That's right. Why don't you just ask for a labyrinth of Gobboda, Julian? Apparently, the Dr. Evil character, well, apparently nothing. It looks just like the bad guy and you only live twice. So what's the theme song for that? Frank's Kid. Nancy Sinatra. You only live twice. And by the way, if you are an Austin Powers fan, you might recognize the music. Hit it. Here's Nancy. Unrocks cool. Oh. OK. This is Rock School, by the way, as we do the music of James Bond. Go ahead. Where's that music from in terms of Austin Powers? Go ahead. It's from Austin Powers, a spy who shagged me. And that's the scene when they're walking out of the water. They who? Mike Myers and Heather Graham. Yes. And they're peeling off those wet suits. And Mike Myers is in the white bikini with all of that bare fur on

his chest. There you go. Oh, by the way, let me give you another fact. Good. Did you know the double, by the way, what does double O mean? If you're, there's, by the way, there's a 001, a 002, a 003, a 004, and he's 007. What does the 00 mean, do you know? No. License to kill. That's right. Oh, and I didn't know that. Now, where did the 007 come from in Fleming obviously created it? He used it. Where did the 007 come from? Don't know. It was a bus route that passed his house each day. What? That's right. That's where it came from. You know, you write a book, you look around, you need to find things in the 007. The next one. The things that things come from. Yeah. When you figure it all out. Where did that famous letter come from? That was a parking sign that I saw. Oh. He's walking from. That bothers me. 1969, on her Majesty's Secret Service. That was the one time that George Lazenby played James Bond. Forget it. Actually, there was one big thing inside of her Majesty's Secret Service. Telly Savalis.

Who loves you, baby. And the one we're going to play, Diamonds are Forever 1971 with Jill St. John, as you hear me patting my chest, Jill St. John as Tiffany Case, the Bond girl. We're back to Shirley Bassie, ladies and gentlemen. Diamonds are forever. They are all I need. Please me. They can stimulate to tease me. Wow. Go for the Oscar. She's got to set a pipes on her. Go for the Oscar. She's got a beautiful voice. She really does. Absolutely gorgeous. And we are to the point where Bond comes to

Louisiana. What? Ladies and gentlemen. But first, Sean Connery leaves. Sean Connery says, I don't want to play James Bond anymore. I would do it. That's what he said. He did. After having about two gallons of his single malt scotch, he said, no. I don't want to play James Bond anymore. You're going to have to find somebody else. I'm going to go to a movie with Nicholas Cage called The Rock. A little time in there. A little artistic license. Guess who the two people were that were immediately contacted. Now, they weren't chosen, obviously. But two people were contacted. I know one of them. Do it. Batman. Yes. Adam West. Adam West. Well, old Chum, we must get the Russians. No, goodness no. That would be bad. Who's the other one? Bert Reynolds. Oh, no. No, you can't have an American. That's the thing. Breaker, breaker. This is James Bond. You can't have an American. No, man. This is a British gentleman spy. Yeah. You can't have that. I don't think so either. I'm a heat

of pride and I'm sure he'd have had a voice coach and such. But it's kind of like throwing Arnold Schwarzenegger into the part. It wouldn't have worked. I get paid to read. That's a treat. Everybody out of the way. We've got to get out. Get out. It just wouldn't have worked. 1973. Jane Seymour makes her way down to New Orleans for live and let die. She plays solitaire. Great. Absolutely great. Roger Moore is now the gentleman's spy. If you watch the film and you say, man, that's got to be the longest boat jump ever filmed. You're right. You're all right. Here's Paul McCartney on Rock School. When you were young and your heart was an open book. You used to say, little let me.

You know, the thing about it is when you hear that original version. Yeah. You realize how terrible the Guns and Roses version actually is. And the thing about it is the guitars are out of tune in the Guns and Roses version. Probably on part of it. They're really, they are. I'm telling you, it was really bad. I don't, I'm just not a fan of the Guns and Roses version of it. And what's funny is when you listen to Paul McCartney talk about that, he says how much help he had writing it because he says, it's amazing that someone can write for it. Because when you listen to that, he's got flutes doing that. In there. He's got a bunch of stuff in there. He's got French headphones. Oh, xylophones underneath the flutes. He's got French horns doing that large howl in their full orchestration behind it. Really did a fantastic job because it became fairly early in the James Bond set of movies. That they went out and found the star of the day and said, you need to sing the theme

song. Whether the star wrote it or not is the big thing. Now Paul McCartney wrote that. But not always did the star write it. The biggest star at the time in 1974 or so said the people who were putting out the Bond films was Lulu. Lulu. Who? We'll play Lulu for you when we get back. One minute. Rocks go. Rocks go.

Rocks go. Yeah, devil on negative. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is Rocks go. It's a very good line, by the way. This is the music of James Bond for a Thanksgiving week. So give thanks that quantum of solace is out there. I haven't seen it yet. So I don't know whether it's good or bad. Hey, I have a question for you. You're the technical aspect of this, ladies and gentlemen. I just come in and record the show and then Chad turns it into a arable thing. And when there's cursing and such, he goes in and he jumps. There's no cursing in the songs. I'm getting ready to take vacation. Don't make me do this. No, there's no cursing in the songs. My question is how long can we go on naming the Bond girls? Not very much longer. Yeah, well, Jane Seymour's name was Solitaire. In this, in this movie, the man with the Golden Gun, Britt Eckland plays Mary Goodnight. Good show, good night. Yeah, good

show, good night. And of course, you know, Ms. Money Pane is always sort of flirted with. And then in the man with the Golden Guns, he meant two words, Hervé Villaches. Yes, you know. We're going to play Lulu's The Man with the Golden Gun, but I'm looking down here. I've literally listed every one of the Bond girls. Here's the one from Moon Raker, which is two movies from now. Can I say her name? Let's play The Man with the Golden Gun first, and we'll discuss it. Here's Lulu on Rock School. Oh, beautiful. To the real sir with love, ladies and gentlemen, Lulu and The Man with the Golden Gun, as we

play nothing but Bond music. That's right. I'm going to take some of my time off over the Thanksgiving holiday and go see the brand new one with Dan Craig or Daniel Craig. I said Dan Craig one time and the kid, you know, it's Daniel Craig. Okay, whatever moves you up. We did a thing way back in the day with the improv team. We did a small skit, and we were going, we were trying to weed out the Bond impersonators to see who was the real James Bond. Okay. So we had one guy come and introduce himself as James Bond James. No, thank you. So he got shot. Shot him. And another guy came in and ordered his martini. How would you like it? Ah, you can stir it. I don't care. Boom. Shot him. One after the other one. He finally got it right. Lovely. Bottom of the hour, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to it. Hey, happy Thanksgiving if you're listening to this on Thursday, or happy Thanksgiving if my tongue would stay in place. If you're not, I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and congratulations to whoever won on Thanksgiving day between the football games because that's what I'll be doing. That's right, ladies and gentlemen. Hey, guess what, guess what, guess what? Are you going to say that we might have another? Another affiliate. I might have to start

writing these things down. Four ladies and gentlemen. Another affiliate is on the fence, and by the time we get back from the Thanksgiving break. Not on the fence, they've said yes. They have said yes, but I need something in writing. Okay. Give it to me in writing, but yes, ladies and gentlemen, a fourth affiliate is on the way. So with us, that's five radio stations. That's right. Now can you stop laughing at me when I say the Rock School Radio Network? Okay. We are literally the Rock School Radio Network. We are on KSOU right here in lovely downtown Hammond, Louisiana, and Chad will tell you the other three. That's right. It's W -E -S -U Middletown, Connecticut, 88 .1, 91 .3, K -S -C -L, and Treeport, Louisiana, and way across the pond. Yes. In Salamonca, Spain, at 89 .0, radio, university, died. I'm still waiting for our first email from there. We haven't gotten one yet, but I'm still waiting. And we have good position there. We play on Thursdays and Sundays. That's right. I'm just waiting for someone to write to us. So that we can get it translated. I know that we're there. I know that we're there. I know that we run, but I'm just waiting for someone to write to us. Now, playing Bond music. So

you must have a stump. We're going to go into Carly Simon from the spy who loves me in 1977. Well, we just did the man with the Golden Gun. Yes, we did. So I'll just keep it very simple. You've seen that movie. Yes. As a very end, I think the man with the Golden Gun kind of lures Bond into this house of fun or something fun house with mirrors and such. Oh, yeah. Like enter the dragon. Like what's his name? The karate guy. Bruce Lee. Right. Enter the dragon. Yeah. So when the man with the Golden Gun is finally killed. Yeah. How does he die? Oh, Bond puts a cap on him. He shoots him. He's just kind of walking through there and you don't really expect it and then boom. Yeah. He just fires, fires him. Then, yeah. That's it. That's a stump. Oh, fantastic. Well, that was beautiful. Can you name the woman who plays the Bond girl in the spy who loves me? Barbara Bach. Okay. And who's the bad guy? This is the one you wanted. This is the one you wanted. Oh! Josh! Josh, ladies and gentlemen, Carly Simon on Rock School.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Wow. And I love her. I love Carly Simon. Yeah, she's great. Really do. There you go, ladies and gentlemen. Let's move along. His name is John. He kills people. That's right. What a dental

bill. Yeah, exactly. By the way, several of songs, several of the songs that we're playing today have been put up for Academy Awards for original song, including Paul McCartney's Live and Let Die, that one you just heard. Carly Simon. And nobody does it better. And Sheena Easton, who we're going to play in just a minute, for your eyes only. Nice. It's the James Bond show if you're just tuning in. That it is. My name is John. Your name is Burns. Oh, Burns. 1979 Moon Rakers. Surely Bassie, once again, ladies and gentlemen, was his back. Richard Keele, his jaws, and he is back. And I do his like, what, about seven and a half foot tall. He's a very tall man. The next one up, 1981. This is the famous, famous movie poster. Shot. It has bond standing there with his long, barreled pistol standing there. And he's between two legs. Uh -huh. And the big thing was the model who was there. I don't have her name here. But what she did is she's wearing bikini bottoms. Uh -huh. But she put them on backwards. Oh. Because she needed the smaller section. Right. Against the, you know, and you're, it's being

shot through the legs. And that really was the, the big thing. Because for your eyes only, the honest with you, I think it was all that green room. But I still watched it and still absolutely adored it because love James Bond. Yeah. She needs to for your eyes only. Rocks goal. That's before prints. I know it's not exactly rock school material. But it's before prints got a hold of her and started her singing, you know, really weird tunes. Point for the life to go out the disco ball. That's right. All skate. All skate.

By the way, somebody did some statistics. I found this on the internet about a half an hour before the show and found it very interesting. Bond has a drink every 24 .3 minutes. What? Somebody figured out. They looked at every single Bond movie, not including the latest because they just haven't had time to do it. Every 24 .3 minutes, Bond has a drink. Now you would think that it would have been a martini, right? Yeah, yeah. No. Bond's drink of choice, apparently the drink he has the most, 35 glasses of it is champagne. 35 glasses of champagne. 35 over the course of his entire movie career. Okay. In case you're wondering if you take the novels, he has had 317 drinks. One every 7 pages on average. By the way, does Bond's, and he's had one beer. In case you're wondering, one beer. Does Bond smoke cigarettes? Yes, he does. Yes, he does. And apparently PC got a hold of it because

test audiences watching the Bond films didn't like the Bond smoke cigarettes. So he has steered clear of smoking since 2002's Die Another Day. The last time you saw him smoking, he was enjoying a cigar at the end of the movie. And since then, you've never actually seen him put a coffin nail in his face. So there you go. Octopussy comes out in 1983. That's when Bond dresses up like a clown. Yes. And if you do a kill, it comes out in 1985. Tanya Roberts is Stacey Sutton. Grace Jones is May Day. The opening scene is in Siberia. Bond escapes in an iceberg. Why not? Oh, yeah. Derand Derand has the song, A View to a Kill, Rocks Gold. Music

Meeting you with a View. Do you like them? Do you like Derand Derand? I do. I do too. That's one of those bands that you don't admit to your hard rock friends that you like more than you actually should. But you do seemingly turn the radio up when you're here. Yeah, I do. You know, the reflexes. Oh, turn that up over there. Bond became, in case you're wondering, a double -o agent at the age of 38. Ah. Here's a very quick rundown. He was a decorated serviceman. Bond attended the University of Geneva, served in the Royal Navy, then joined the special forces, where he went on several, several key missions, ladies and gentlemen, decided to join the M16, which is kind of the CIA, if you will, of the UK. At the age of 30, he joined them. Eight years later, was given the prestigious double -o status, granting him a

license to kill for his country. In case you're wondering, Bond holds a degree in Oriental languages. He is fluent in English, French, German, Italian and Russian, and has passable Greek, Spanish, Chinese and Japanese. Passable. Passable. Yes. So apparently he's a rather smart guy, and if you really tick him off, he can kill you. That's right. He's got a license. Back in a minute, on Rock School. Music. Music.

Music. James Bond show right here on Rock School. As we run them down chronologically, the two Timothy Dalton travesties and movies come out next. 1987, the Living Day Lights. Aha, sings the theme song. The Living Day Lights. What else we got? 1989 license to kill. Comes out. That's another Timothy Dalton Gladys Knight. Sing's license to kill. Pierce Brosnan. Yeah. This is the one my wife goes, oh, faint. She also likes the new guy, too. But Pierce Brosnan is really her, ah, faint. Gold and I, 1995. Famke Jansen plays the Bond girl, Zenia on a top. Okay. That might be suggestive. Yeah. Plus Bond does something that

all other bonds didn't do just to, how could you do that? He drives a BMW. Oh, no, how could... German car? And he allows Tina Turner. An American? Well, other Americans have sung it as well, but still an American. Tina Turner sings Gold and I on Rock School. I'm more than darkness.

Yeah, we're done. We got time for one more and there's a lot more to play. Let me tell you some of the ones we're not going to play. Tomorrow never dies, came out in 1997. That Cheryl Crow, Terry Hatcher, played Paris Carver, the Bond girl. We're going to finish with the world is not enough. That's from 1999. Garbage, Shirley Manson's group. Garbage is going to do that. Denise Richards, which I thought was a terrible choice for a Bond girl. I still, I loved Denise Richards. Down now. She plays Dr. Christmas Jones, because she was a present. Get it? Yeah. Die another day, 2002, Madonna. That's the one where Halle Berry is standing on the side of a cliff that's longer than I think the longest cliff on Earth and just jumps off. Yeah, plays Jinks. Yeah, plays Jinks, you're right. Casino Royale in 2006, that's the one that, you know, I'm thinking, I don't know that I'm going to like this guy. And I didn't go see it in the theater. I'm sorry to say. And I got it off a Netflix and popped that thing in. You can't breathe. If you

haven't seen Casino Royale, one with Daniel Craig. You can't breathe during the first 11 minutes. Really? It is unbelievable. They have a guy who's an athlete, a gymnast. He's running away from Daniel Craig. Why you put objects in this man's way is he can run up a 10 foot wall as if I'm stepping over a blade of grass. You can't breathe for the first 10 minutes. I mean, I'm just telling you, if you haven't seen it, rent it. It is well, well worth the money. Chris Cornell had the song and that's called You Know My Name. And the latest one is from Alicia Keys. It's called another way to die. I brought it. We're not going to play. We just don't have the time. But it's very, very good. It's actually very, very good. That's what we're going to wrap up with Shirley Manson. How many double o agents are there? Seven. There are seven. There's only two that haven't been talked about. 001 and 005. The other ones have

all been mentioned. 001, 005, 009 has been mentioned. That's why you get seven. But 001 and 005 have never been mentioned. Other than that, the rest of them have been mentioned. And he is 007. So that's going to finish up the show. And happy Thanksgiving to you. You too, Doc. Good. You and I have a lot, a lot, to be thankful for. Very much so. If nothing else, we're two healthy men. And things are good. We got a woman that loves us. And everything seems to be falling into place. So far. So far. This is going to wrap it up. Denise Richards has Christmas Jones, really? Yeah. Yeah. The world is not enough. Garbage. My name is Joe Burns. I'm Chad Pee. That does it, class is dismissed. Thank you.