Come Together; 14; Young People And Marriage, Part One

come together to come together the weekly program on and for metropolitan you with your ghost town an ashen sheldon levy this week's programme is concerned with the attitudes of today's youth toward marriage young people consider marriage is an unnecessary reflection of the outdated values of the past to explore this and other related ideas here is the young panel and sheldon levy welcome to come see it this week we're having a discussion about young people in the institution of marriage my guess this evening on jr smith grew schaffer there are quite in this maryland still like to briefly introduce them and heavens tell us a little about themselves jr smith student columbia university originally from ohio there are quite and are quite mammals from a highly marshall student a convent where shaver membership for an

instant of cornell's years now and still mining his mail and steel an amnesty in a violent and i'm from chicago like to be in this week's discussion by asking our young people if you think in today's society among young people has marriage become an obsolete anything the past by your well i think among a certain minority you know like so cold but bohemians marriages aren't always been an anachronism but among majority of youth i think it's still functioning institutions hugh griggs replied to agree that the majority of youth america it's bits except institution that i really see any major attraction of it by my large portion of the young population unless you know indication of its decline perhaps as baz its decline as a theme as an institution as big as an idea

that are more people reject this idea that religious institutions jr oh i feel that it is not an obsolete institution and that people can go to the motions but as far as the religious aspect it was godsend i think largely it so we're going up because with introducing the divorce and drawn into it people we got it liz's a stable thing and work on his way out it's not it was only female because of a now how you feel about it i think unfortunately got to me and you were becoming disillusioned with the institution of marriage because they have seen where it hasn't worked and don't really want a farm think of pitfalls facing now adults file into or other young people that had gone ahead and got married had to go to the private voice a nomad well we've talked about young people in general what about the four young people sitting in a studio

but still here in britain community and touche and marriage well personally i find the arm the final concert of merit rather anachronistic i see no reason why one has to we do a bond oneself with another person on with the approval of society for forty fifty years adam mckay really just for free union or common law i see no reason for the institution and that in itself is not necessarily what don't you think the institution and its rule says and some values in the past perhaps put under the arm i tend to think that in the past marriage functioned as an institution which helps perpetuate society and those conditions arm from the past no longer exist for instance women are no longer chattels and men are normally only providers and so there's no reason that this calm family unit has to

exist yes i think the largest some degree institution which is it forces and people within they're willing to accept that or not for instance terms of the pack says its business pages to deny the cost units in tax advantages worst fear not mary you went and society also think is condense those who don't who don't become merrick who who live together and honor their own without it was i have mixed feelings about it our doesn't like it i would personally lilith and ani before getting married i'm not out of any feeling that it was a trial period or whatever but it would probably be more convenient than actual getting married step but then at the same time being a girl maybe i have this thing about security and mike i would want to stay

living together with somebody for years and years simply because you have given her attitude when you're just living assembling when you married to somebody unlike i personally would like to kind of security it's become i don't think it's a bad kind of security to have one huge are hopelessly are funded gay marriage is more or less a thing for the individual if you feel that though you can love a person in a romantic sense as ok for you know i don't believe that it really exists as a i love exists in new romantic city along with its more less of a thing of all not we wanna marry a person because of the sexual security thing comes into it it's the thing that you would have to marry the person out of mutual need it's so i think it's just impossible

for them to people age of forty fifty years in the romantic sense of the word well marilyn welcome been appointed he made about you look listen for three or four years without being married because you like that idea of security and down i want to talk about this point many people say today that young people don't like america because it means a commitment it because it means that you have to give someone the security of a commitment and if nothing else but a worried that it's a commitment and today that young people don't value that type of a commitment i don't wanna make the technicality really think this is true i think maybe some people i think living together is a way out for a lot of people and you can but there's a lot talk about the legal formalities of maritime necessary but when you have that attitude of living together in egypt is cleaning time with no strings attached but you can you can be married to someone without a license you know it depends on your frame of

reference you know you play my weight what you feel and what you're going into it going into a coalition to when you start out or is this based on the fact that you may leave anytime and i personally don't want to be involved in three or four or a relationship i don't mind you know i would lose somebody what i want to be involved in a permit in our direction you know that if it doesn't work well then we can straighten out but i don't have at you when i get involved a line in that particular situation now and you feel that a continuing relationship has to be sort of enforced are certain legal sanctions can just be sort of the intellectual decision yes a candidate can be married without life and i believe that very strongly but being married without a license and living together are two different frame of references to what about the armed question of the you know like a legal pass the legal aspects of marriage you feel that you know that there's any relevance to having you know this licensing business and all the legal sanctions and things i can

personally when a child would from the picture i would definitely be married because i would like a decision i had made to affect their child which it would without having a legal name that kind of thing and our fans first property and things you know and most places don't ask it is your life and but it's more convenient know does indeed this legal structure symbolize something no wall of these legal cases of red tape symbolize a commitment that perhaps young people are trying to evade today now i think the arm papers are really designed to sort of enforcers for the perpetuation of the society and i don't think that commitment isn't there at all and you can have to commit to a person without bothering with some service official sanction trump's last rival without it it's very easy to not have it when you said already one of the chorus to know how this sort of abortion by will and the point i was making was it wasn't a matter of course generic thing but the point i'm making is that without the legal structure you don't necessarily

have a definite commitment shown that the idea of marriage is beyond the saudis want permanence and permits new relationships this isn't reality people build and maintain the same he told one person throughout their entire lives and and and society are lisa says it got a marriage seems that people do end up i think that that's a false imposition upon the person you're asking him to always stay the same way towards with the present in our eyes and i can really understand and accept that you do field and marriage is going to change in its structure to offend perhaps of more conditional set up the seam are going in that direction and you see this going over the deep end and moralists are spending as an institution not that i think marriage will take place in the future is a commitment

of mutual need females i think that still need we got was what they said certain things that that that males that often not necessarily the super security thing and also where he's gonna bring india rabbit for daring enough but it's moore was about nothing above the male female biologically the psychological need they have friction and it's like bruce it's a transit to obtain you know in their needs major change in a lot of the personalities in italy for marriage of that type of survival before the prisons in social change and i think that all the ugly past saturday are quite capable of being transitory along with their commitments specific invention of the women and i wanted to come into anything

over years ago i don't believe in surface ideology of women's liberation and might that only i want a man to be a man and i want him to you know bring home from the table you know i'm not saying that i wouldn't work i will be no accent or accent but like because that aspect of relationship is changing between men and women in society i don't think it means that your commitment or your feelings i know my feelings are transitory you know i doubt that we hope they are a cut that they had been fooled myself for a very long time how do you survive a marriage a few have become married you expect men earlier that you change your love changes you know you know it's you know enough then made a lot of some porn through that you have this perpetually relationship with someone

and i think it would be a beautiful thing the chest to even things up the policy front to within the metal structure but about his thinking about permanent though when you think about home would you consider what like a hole itself or would you consider home as being a weekend won't you wife in the evening so we're really you're here or whatever hollis is still to me and asked children a song nothing a home is a place where i can go and see the security of those lucky i would but that doesn't necessarily mean that that that i'm going to think about home was always going to be there or to think the idea that a home has to be a place where that love is always going to be i mean well the world is this too is too complex to expect that it's too easy to two two sale s how those going to be the yen and the shock comes when the next time you go home and home just as the same as it was because you

can't you can't always expect people to be as they were in and i think that that's that's a problem and the question does to many other influences that is the interaction between you and the person you love but many other influences affecting and to many others for you my eye those influences you know i think that's just the point yet willett there is this other people for one thing which is probably the most obvious there's also just time itself which which wears down all kinds of things there's there's jaws economic influences the social influences his political influences when i think it that what is involved goes deeper than that i think it goes it goes into the character many young people today as far as a lot of things being transitory as far as their attitude about jobs being transitory and valley of people are very concerned about a white collar job anymore as far as the attitude about living conditions are not concerned about living in a big house on the top of a hill in a nice suburb anymore i think people are transitory a lot of respects and then we

i didn't know that that that's what the problem is but i think unfortunately too many people are following them so that they can get involve a lot of relationships that won't affect them later will affect the people involved with i mean i don't think you can to find many people who are going to be able to jump from one prison to another era when actually eventually nasa and mentally emotionally at a question or get into this to try and pinpoint something in jail mentioned about the whole endocrine think something very interesting is if you want to find out the attitude of anyone about marriage find out his attitude about what his own life mean to you and if our own life means wanting to the night in marital when you'd be known that if you the whole life to you is having a mother a father and children and obviously you believe i think it also involves the role that you see itself as playing you know thought leader on teen years from now or twenty years from now and the role i see myself playing

as a woman and as a black woman involves a family very definitely involves a family and to meet family is a permit relationship issues into for good information and if it's banned additives to the detriment of the people involved and i say that you dissolve that relationship but i don't want to go into it with the attitude that this may not work i mean i guess so laughing my role fighting affect you as far as what you feel to be do you want to see any particular significance in the role of america in a black community dc in a transitory stage two uneasy become a staple on that marriage in the black community has always been in my opinion very unstable it's that the guys always up for his rap you know and out with the black that i dearly thing coming into the picture and e l newfound respect i suppose record for the black woman itself

on herself i think that it will become a very stabilized is not in near future will in the distant future because as a community we will continue to be enforced closer together pressing needs an employee i suppose by now should know want to know you know i feel that it's gonna become very necessary for the black family to become closer together and as far as my own particular family is concerned i think that'll raise a black child or children in the united states as it existed they are strong family structure is absolutely necessary and that's another reason why i very much believe in and we'll close the senate now with so one particular question and i'm going to steal a little from la a song of another generation to love and marriage love and marriage goes into like a horse and carriage and lately on the songs that you

can't have one without the other funny thing about what they said governor mannix is in the romantic sense today does not exist and that i think is most of being president for me to meet and if you go into america the idea that hugo of somebody who has an ally from now i think as selling state because it was a picture with the diapers india how to bring in creatively that i disagree with one point there and i think love can exist in the modern period armed people still quest quest after you know with another person and i have refined that is not necessarily operate within a a familiar type structure within marriage yourself alone you can have a meaningful affair with a person without ever committing yourself legally to that person but the industry away from the romantic sense

of the romantic idea of the word love you know it's a thing where you know you're down together on the matter what happens you know i think that's pure romanticism and when your bow and legally to someone that's like recognizing that political races one crucial that you were going to see the necessity for londoners to begin with inevitably but i write something can exist no more often without because i think you can love and maybe a few people for different reasons and that you can love people without being married to them but i believe that you have to make a decision about who you know has been personally i would make the decision about who i could spend the rest of my life with which might be different than who are my love for certain reasons in a particular way and that new clothes is certainly like to thank my guest jr smith who saved and those mountains do you think that the business incentive to come together

you're listening to come together this week presenting a discussion on young people and marriage how the parents feel about their children's viewpoints on marriage that brought them to this and other is here is the adult van alden has told in action welcome to the second portion of come together my guests this evening are dr patricia garland marcy says brent thompson and stick with it lame duck marcy teaches at the school of social service fordham university and a special interest has been in black family she's work with the urban league and dr kennett quarks metropolitan applied research center mr kevin lane is the owner of bride and groom and has been involved in the wedding business for the last twelve years is delaying directs and produces bravo shows and arranges the floral and photographic aspects of their weddings and coordinates all aspects of the bridegroom snead it's

<unk> thomasson is a writer and a teacher she's a contributor of material to the new feminist theater and is now writing a play on the subject of marriage she is the author of several published articles and reviews on feminism including the battle of the sexes nineteen seventy and look magazine and women as property an article in the family court in the new republic she teaches english at queens borough community college is divorced with one child or as she likes to put it is in between marriages let me open a bar portion by first asking you the most obvious question that was what your reactions were to the young people and their comments at mercy it feel i was tremendously impressed by the thinking and openness and searching i felt that the young people are not

taking marriage for granted and want to see marriage whether they're for it with or without a license as some part of a better way of life that they seem to be striving for and did you feel in that they felt that the marriage was part of this but a way of life that read i think that there was some question in their mind what basis it could be a part of it and some question about the meaning of love the meaning of those establishment aspects of marriage as an institution and what way could they reshape it and every shape the content of their own thinking about themselves in line what did you think to be impressed and connie young people use going to people i think all very level headed that they've done a lot of deep thinking on the subject and what they said makes an awful lot of

sense and contrary to what the morris' intention and i don't like to use the term establishment i think peter's thinking adults and not anti establishment cities such as saying you know did you feel at a fairly well represented a cross section of some of our adults i would say young adults who i hope so but i don't think so i think okay i'm far exceeded the average indian men thinking and their projection of their thoughts brent thompson what was your impressions yes i was very pleased that these young people were not acting in a program to manner that they were not responding in certain preconditions ways and filing any established roles but we're thinking

through as individuals what they plan to do as far as they occurred i think the only emissions worked were natural ones because the distance stages of life you can't get to until you get them like having children and their family responsibilities which knowing canal and they come upon you vernon thomas let me ask you a question you've been involved with the women's lib movement and i wonder if since you have your ear attitude to change at all from when you were young girl and how you thought about margin and what threat it might be now that you're thinking along these lines yes they very definitely have changed i think about it that my entry into the women's liberation it's not really lived lachlan its women's liberation movement came as a result of my experience is and i did my changing as a result experience of my

original conception americans us was very ideal and romantic picture with that the man is the breadwinner taking care of me we actually when i was married had a house in a crime and something like an atom and magazine the dust and the realities for something else again i ended up taking care of her husband and are there wasn't a role reversal which was unexpected but i find there's very common for a woman is saddled with twice as many responsibilities as she bargained for those tortures going to happen you were speaking of this reversal of roles and and the fact that it happens quite often would any of you can't comment on whether or not this is a part of equality in roles that could could you equate reversing roles as versus having equal roles i think that the issue is one the definition of what their role should be i think that much of our literature much for

thinking much of our value has described a certain characteristics to males insert responsibilities has denigrated other responsibilities some of those that we carry as women and has made it hard for us to be individuals with their own needs and patterns and respond to each other and one thing for example it's very typical in american culture demands not supposed to be emotional and not show it and yet in many homes the man is the more sensitive the children lovers friends and relatives now at an allstate then they only going and exits it's institutionalized let's talk a little bit about our attitude and what marriage represents to us i have clifford lane i just want to mention something you mentioned that in our culture it is frowned upon

that a man if he any type of emotion look upon as being strange or is not as acceptable as a young woman this whole american in america because another cultures nine openly cry openly caress and kiss motherland and of course in our culture as of today i would a decision when local the two of them and kiss him without some strange things happening phil i wonder whether or not but i mean you know this is not a topic that might not be one of the reasons that we have such a tremendously high incidence of homosexuality among men this need for emotional release dates something else but i feel that some of

the biggest hang ups that and then have them on because they repress the natural motion of crying of loving openly and i think that the more accepted open a motion on display is i think there will have less messed up people and consequently less messed up marriages come together will return after station identification you're listening to public radio wypr in new york and now back to the adult mammal and tony nash if we talk about murder love his natural instinct that you very rarely hear father love smoking that and that there is such a need for children to have love from both parents how do you feel about marriage and the role of plays today marcy i think that marriage is becoming

increasingly important institution in today's world because of some of the features of the world with this terrible so it's been a circus machine my atmosphere the need for personal closeness need for individual a station and acceptance and i think that a marriage can be the institution through which certainly to people i can find this and i very much think that the id or some kind of permanence and you of all the change is something many of us seek out in terms of economic security but in the sense of where we are and where we're going to be and i can only eco where are young people said that to me my cabin white america white racist america really needs a strong family the other thing i wanted to come out and was it the difference of attitude between our young panelists

it became very interesting to observe that the two young people who are black were very much concerned simply with structure and needs and i'm so i'm realistic outlook i wonder if that was your impression where the other two young people who are white seemed not to need its permanence quite as much or at least didn't seem to give the impression that they wanted they seem much more interested in a sort of impermanence device i sense that progress i'm very close to it i first began to notice movie malcolm x and black panthers were in harlem by noting that the family man with children and then one of the features that i first noticed it was that the sampling selling the mohammed speaks on saturdays the father all dressed up out with just two or three children and now this whole question of strengthening family life and not only is

implicit in this whole sense of like identity but as an explicit program at a problematic aspect of many of them the organizations in the community and has great meaning how you line it up then with the current interest in communal living in communal marriages both among older people and young people there are quite a few schools of thought on this i make a distinction between what i call capitalists american socialist that i feel that there is nothing wrong with our marriage got to that restructuring of our society as a whole can fix the difference i would say is that the cat was marriage is a reflection of the system around us which is exploitive one person exploiting other abbas and a servant situation it's competitive as our society as a whole is in a more collaborative marriage you have a completely different social situations i think the

young people are beginning to break out of the old mold and look for more collaborative set up which they can find in communes with where the burdens are shared equally i'm not too sure it's going to work with cap was an all around it to do over what would you do if your daughter came home and told to that she was moving in with the two or three young people into an apartment perhaps one she would be living with nearly two would just you know the rumors are living together i probably think but intellectually i would i would question her and find out about her friends find out why she wants to do it and it would depend on what a true and i don't think i would allow jewish fourteen fifteen was sixteen years ago that i think if she was eighteen years old and i consider that an eighteen year old girl

has a mind of her own family's seventeen year old or so i would probably allow it or c so i cut you off before you started to say some we would do one comment on this or on the region and on this day it's a hard question i think it's a question that parents are actually just in the way collectors are first reaction is much more based on where we are and hopefully then we can look at it in a more individualized way without moralizing and except for what is inevitable any one thing that this very clear we have four children and our family and a granddaughter and one thing is very clear that that we can only influence and that the most important thing is to keep the channels of communication open but we don't say something know just who's gone were so there's so many things to chat to take into

consideration before a parent decides what you should do with his daughter and then hope that a listen when you do there is something intangible you just pose a question you've just threw it out others it would depend upon what level of education issues that i would try to induce her to continue with your education and get her degree in college i would try to talk around this whole thing would your attitude be the same it is your son at the same age came until june that he was planning to do this is my son and my son came to news that pow pow on a note with chick northeast and i'm moving into a situation three or four of us girls and boys have spent one thousand visits a visit but it's what i wanted and

rioting i think that that is why it's a great experience for him why not very young when i guess it's a double standard that i have maybe it's in my subconscious it maybe i'd do that so consciously or below the surface believe in a double standard and that clear in my own mind emotionally how i feel about the delineation of the male role the funeral very quiet but my immediate reaction is my son came to me we do have some recent pop band the thing going in his committee three girls three guys who in all share an apartment just the greatest i think that's great has our attitude and our standard been colored by the fact that there was always the fear of pregnancy as far as the young woman was concerned i think that's been removed to a great

extent and that has affected marriages tremendously the fact that there is a contraceptive measures that were available but not publicized and was the advent of new contraceptive measures i think that there is going to affect the entire marriage scene well would it affect you as a parent to look at it as a pan down and would it possibly change can you know two heads one in four suppose the daughter of the others is my son having to doctor thomas enders chomping at the detectives utilize the seasoning on there i was going to comment on one with young people said about this living in same situation that set of touching on now i don't think it's any more of course to think so the fear of pregnancy which is holding people back but there is that there is a possibility of doing emotional

damage to one's self and i think as young women began to train more for careers than they used to do before they have to consider that as a man has to consider her young boy has to consider well this help them long run or hinder from the long range goals and will it provide some emotional handicaps that the girl cannot finish college and you cannot do the kind of work that she has a month or so also i think it's very romantic to think of that term as as a better situation than marriage or more easy situation match because i have met girls who were in common more situations and when the time came to say goodbye they were much worse off then they would have been if they had been legally married we tend to think all laws these days are destructive very often they're protected and the protections for our property for child support for older wellbeing after this situation to sars for much greater amounts than it would be in any

living situation i had a very strong reaction to claire for a difference than thinking about boiling hero with a feminist and i had to four children to feed and actually hour with one of the boys we would be more concern that pelosi had ever moved her fear about their what might happen if the daughters they're living with someone by night in terms of perhaps being a sensitive person not being very sophisticated attracting more sophisticated women and men just on this level that if we were really getting past tomorrow i think we would be more concerned perhaps about one of her sons in terms of his emotional reaction to it then one of their daughters as tougher and harder and more it will handle certain things is once we get out of conventional now cause it's there are certain social aspects that we still struggle with that in our circle in

terms of them as individuals that it doesn't break down on sex lives until un cliff being in the wedding business have you found in that there has been a hound out that there have been fewer marriages or more marriages recently statistically speaking there are two million weddings to take place in the united states each year and bureau of vital statistics states that'll be two and a half million by nineteen seventy eight he leans into specifics i have a feeling that so there might be this many marriages but i think that the ages of those being married will be a little older and there's a lot of reasons one that i'm a mafia time to go into a weekend going to the next question

would you say that when they count those statistics they are counting remarriage the re marriages necessary just for our initial america's first right well let's wind up at this point and joining in people and so that we can ask him some questions they come out to the highlight of our show in our two panels come together for a joint discussion an exchange of ideas sheldon levy will open this segment by posing a familiar question to the younger participants and our young dissidents twenty seconds you know i my one reaction to accommodate was there are adults went into question their

children when they want a situation where there are going to be living with somebody or whatever that went into question their children and asked them why but i would think that they were doing and not quite be as open and the adults in the second segment would have you believe that they would be joe oh well i know the president and for the pensioners out of the question if children intellectually that they have this various things like that at one point in college that grier sure that is a public political events and sportsmanship and this as i said as this business they sell oh you are you involved in that they'll get what is what would be involved in an opera i think there's the general tone well bruce nine just generally

agree that commercial response is the first woman to have liked the least and police in this case without you or was interesting dr morsi statement that in a technological society like ours marriage is an institution can be even more functional than has been in the past but can the impersonality which ideas technology and tails people are more attracted towards marriage tell us technological society did you agree or disagree and i was rather surprised to now the question still open in my mind i think i tend to disagree dr marci word you were just saying that because of the impersonality that exists and surrounds us everywhere that there is more need for personal relationship i'm out of this comes the need to cement her prominence with that hears that and i think then mallin put it better than iowa as he looks to the future and i think that many young people in many older

people i'm trying to look to the future in personal terms and in terms of giving and being amiss then had to do with another person and marriage and parenting roles are some other ways that we can do it and they are getting creative question and i wonder whether or not you can comment on the recent need for the group therapy group and counter things that have been springing up the groups all over the country and most of them have been said to be because of the this very impermanence that people are experiencing every day while i don't question the need for deeper human relationships work i don't offer permanent relationship with that i just kind of a sense but i just need to constantly on the ottoman period transistors transit or relationships could you could you take a separate and and now this is a group therapy

thing that you think you might be able to think possibly why you feel a sneaker impermanence i don't know if it's in the latest find it more attractive to think that people could continually engaging arm for filling situations with a variety of people i just and really what it is like to comment periods a variety of people at the same time wore sequins really what i don't know cause it could be either way that just beyond aspect of permanence just sort of of course know this question before it is about is headed to japan i have the feeling that it's all a very deep seeded know i hope this you don't take this as a tremendous effect i think there's tremendous a deep seated psychological

problems i mean anybody who live horns on the idea of non permanent stay transitory relationships promiscuity is what he's thinking they're out on the thinking okay i think needs help and would you like to respond to calm it was i wasn't talking about promiscuity but i think i just think that the possibilities of having any number of fulfilling relationships is more interesting and time himself to just one person announces healthy that's consistently over your own cause i can't really see i want lincoln can comment on someone's personality from single discussion i really i think it's very effective to do what you just did your reducing gotten it to a personal level thank you

very much mayor and decided that that he has a deep psychological problem just representing this particular attitude as they said it wasn't meant to be a tremendous personal offense is the men might have turned out that way but on this one attitude liability is reacting emotionally to an attitude into the theory so because we're speaking of our different attitudes toward an about marriage and relationships and me and the types of relationships that we all appreciate your value in and how we one of our lifestyle amendment does come about eric's idea about infanticide i think that oh you'd be depressed and so the show thinking right now oh man on a motorcycle family across the country would be considered

french television is converted into a hero and i think that's what's happened in us decided to david this idea of a person that many relationships with many different people have different cross sections says it would be interested in his views and beachy the psychological problem that day and so it's been converted like the tv show it's entirely different thing is going i might be wrong but i don't think that life is a tv show i mean i sort of just like before your time and friends and i used to jump off a crusading it was superman you just can't run your life as you see you have these heroes anti heroes a superman bronze and on motorcycles going from one town and one relationship to another the

cliff isn't realistic that this is the pattern of many of the young people that's exactly what the only bees some young people i don't think that the majority of the young people here and attack using young people abel here that i think a level headed sincere i think they know where it sat right but but this idea of looking to it as the media for values can distort a person such an extent that i think that the love lost for the profession and the right of the media itself is what that really has a great influence in shaping our society alexander the life as a tv show but i was a descendent of the tv show reflects are portions of it that way and they made we've leaped out here and that is what you would do

positively to support the kind of living together that were all interested in and i think that they're some of the icons of their experience i think there are some form such as this kind of discussion are the kinds of activities that is centered right here at riverside church and many other places which give people an opportunity to talk through and think through things in it for example couples and couples my age never recognize that we grow and change and what does this mean imagine america has a psycho i think now another thing is widely recognized people to recognize before is what happens when the children leave and the couple after twenty years left to look at their siblings to help couples through this period and i think that we haven't done enough about it as a society well is it also true that sometimes aren't so that is the point at which the couple's rediscover one another and that sometimes is a beauty about traditional marriage young people what your

feelings are about divorce is very unfortunate it's very unfortunate and that's why i can understand the attitudes about people had and biden said some reason with marriage as it is today because of the voices that have taken place between their camps and friends of it and that you grew up thinking that the happy life you know and then you realize that if they stay together possibly they did so not out of any love but a sense of responsibility and duty which is very depressing i would hate to think that if i lived with somebody oh without any legal bar and so if the time came for us to separate we would be we will revert to being children that got wet and what when where and headsets with us a sense of this particular were really don't know that much about him for some prompting what is the divorce rate and how significant is

the latest place forty five couples professor it's just the first televised think it's an unfortunate and probably tragic and their own lives is long divorced the law says that glee terrible and i know my brother was divorced and that i think the president hurts most unfortunately is the trial he says is the most innocent of all the people involved but if there isn't a strong one and imagine that that there's no it isn't was no idea no matter what kind of relationship it is it's just it's just tragic the trial is the security of both a mother and a father and unfortunately when there was a cozy scenes but this happens and it was really as you know legalize marijuana and while the acrimony over the of economics and that's out of the woods and still be an ugly and horrible thing because i'm not obviously

that was totally disagreed and challenges that disagreement doesn't understand it you know intellectually do not accounted for divorce is not the problem but the city does the solution to the problem and the problem is of course marriage and why people get into it in the first place or a question do you think that a divorce is made more accessible should we say that this would attend to contribute to a sort of a haphazard attitude to america do you think that people are going to like me because i think that they could get out much easier than that in other words that people be a more inclined to go and it isn't it would be an easy thing to back out of the four cylinder much less stringent would you know as i read these grow faster so it would be true he is now because we have been talking about whether it's in transit operations it's

meaningful relationships and i would think that this is what we're striving for a rather than the license so in accessibility of the voices set sousa divorce lawyers and everything along the road toward the morality might say and i'm wondering if this is a really good thing and is it a bad omen and i think that anybody who's married for more than a month a few months kicking keep you get into talking about nobody goes into marriage and state therefore was going to think it is something to be taken lightly i don't think that i think the elites they can come out of multiple the most was good because what i find what's really tragic it doesn't detract from the fact that the marriages are even more tragic and that it's true the child really does know what why when something is andy and he i think that he wore on i think that we need to do is questioning the very beginning why people are getting married and i think that with a little cut down tremendously on the

divorce rate many girls get married because they simply can't think of anything else to do they knew who cover their heads they are they're looking for some kind of financial security some areas the state if they feel well i'll never be somebody so on harrison's important oh give me some kind of importance and my community well he's a very empty reasons for marriage and they can go nowhere that into meant he meant well to us known something about or remember what we were listening to the second segment you're particularly emotional reaction to something that conference said he reacted by saying he's got a double standard can you go back to that it might lead to about double standard i felt that his son that he's so willingly when you we will be stationed living with two or three women or

whatever the case might be at the same time we're not particularly when his centenary any of these girls say he would not allow his daughter into the possession of one his girl which i think is a bit unfortunate kind of double standard and i said i don't think of men leaving me running off to experience the world any more than a woman that night the same things required of the woman when she gets married that i actually say that i might be wrong now i haven't read it but i say that all ages let me rephrase that i would accept my son coming to me and say you want to live with three women observers like a bargain but i would be shot at or i would put him down if he would marry one of those three women i mean i don't think i said that without any further <unk> about a daughter the assumption is wrong it's there

doesn't exist and double standard as far as with the average male i think in this generation and generations past it is a well known fact whether or not that it might have been as out without is to beat generation as most all young males like to play the field and not to the dinner and the fact is also that in today's marriage that same girl who was supposed to have lead such a pristine life is overnight supposed to become secretary everything that in playboy says she should be in order to be the successful find i'd like to thank my guests dr pat marcy cliff lane and karen thomas my guest jr smith who shaver are quite nice balance to thank all of the participants and a very stimulating says turning

ashen sheldon levy for pentagon now you've been listening two come together isn't any discussion about young people on marriage come together it was written and produced by sheldon levy and tony nash with production assistance from bonnie langham technical supervision was provided by david now and then this program was pre recorded gemma gemma