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<v Edwin Greenberg>Our problem doesn't show. <v Edwin Greenberg>You know, we don't limp and we don't have canes with red tips at the end of it. <v Elaine Gordon>Some people, their parents don't even know. Their best friends don't know. <v Terri Phillips>I don't like to admit it or say it, but I feel a lot of jealousy. <v Terri Phillips>I feel real jealous. <v Maxine Mocca>And you get the comments like, oh, gee, just go on a vacation and then, you know, it's <v Maxine Mocca>your own family and you just want to, you know, shake them and say you don't understand <v Maxine Mocca>what I've been through. <v Candice Hurley>It does warp you, though. You, you do just desire <v Candice Hurley>a child beyond anybody else. <v Candice Hurley>I'm sure no one wants 1 that's that has had 1 easily <v Candice Hurley>as, as a person who is infertile. <v Narrator>Edwin Greenberg and Elaine Gordon are both psychologists. <v Narrator>They started trying to have a baby in 1978. <v Narrator>Terri Phillips had a miscarriage in 1983. <v Narrator>She and her husband, Maurice Sanchez, assumed that she would get pregnant again, but she
<v Narrator>didn't. <v Narrator>Maxine and Chris Mocca met at work. <v Narrator>They've wanted to baby ever since they married in 1981. <v Narrator>Candace and Brian Hurley are in their early 30s. <v Narrator>They have been trying to have a child since 1982. <v Narrator>We are about to share 3 years in the lives of people who want babies and <v Narrator>can't have them. <v Announcer>This edition of KCET Journal is made possible in part by a grant <v Announcer>from the Goodman Family Foundation. <v Narrator>Having a baby, it's easy for most people. <v Narrator>Too easy for some. But for an estimated 2 to 3 million American couples, <v Narrator>it's the hardest thing in the world. <v Narrator>They are infertile. The life of baby showers, nursery schools, family gatherings
<v Narrator>with children, that normal and ordinary life, becomes for them something painfully <v Narrator>remote and unattainable. <v Narrator>They feel cheated, isolated, often bitter. <v Narrator>Sometimes the reasons for infertility are clear. <v Narrator>Sometimes they are mysterious. <v Narrator>Until quite recently, very little could be done to help. <v Narrator>But now medical science is grappling with infertility. <v Narrator>It still sometimes relies on improvization and serendipity, but it's successful <v Narrator>and perhaps half the cases. <v Narrator>We hear a lot about its miraculous achievements, the multiple births and the test tube <v Narrator>babies, but not about the failures or the emotional casualties along the way. <v Narrator>This is the story of the events of 3 years in 4 couples battles with infertility. <v Narrator>There are complex and costly medical treatments, delicate surgeries, hopes pinned <v Narrator>on the newest technologies, soaring expectations and plunging disappointments. <v Narrator>This is a portrait of people at war with their own bodies. <v Narrator>For some, as it turned out, therewas a baby's cry at the end of the tunnel.
<v Narrator>Our <v Narrator>story begins in 1985. <v Narrator>6 years earlier, Candice Hurley had pelvic inflammatory disease which left <v Narrator>her ovaries and fallopian tubes scarred. <v Narrator>3 years ago when she and her husband, Brian, were unsuccessful in trying to start a <v Narrator>family, she sought medical help and eventually had major surgery. <v Narrator>When there was still no pregnancy, she and Brian began a monthly ritual of infertility <v Narrator>treatments. <v Candice Hurley>We continued on trying inseminations, Clomid, <v Candice Hurley>about everything. And also my husband went through a sperm count <v Candice Hurley>motility test and had a phenomenal one, was
<v Candice Hurley>always called Superman or superstud through the whole thing. <v Candice Hurley>So I always felt that it was due to this problem <v Candice Hurley>that I'd had 6 years ago. <v Narrator>After Candice had undergone months of treatments, Brian took the newly developed hamster <v Narrator>egg penetration test, which roughly assesses the ability of a man's sperm to penetrate <v Narrator>a human egg. <v Candice Hurley>We didn't expect anything to be wrong because of always the praise <v Candice Hurley>of Brian's sperm. <v Candice Hurley>We were surprised to find out that Brian had zero penetration <v Candice Hurley>in the first test. We were shocked, in fact. <v Candice Hurley>So we had the knowledge then that <v Candice Hurley>after 3 years of surgeries, inseminations and horrible <v Candice Hurley>emotional trauma, that Brian essentially was sterile <v Candice Hurley>and that I may have had many chances to be pregnant over that time, <v Candice Hurley>but that- not with him.
<v Narrator>Though at first they feared they would have to use donor sperm for Candice to become <v Narrator>pregnant, the Hurleys soon learned that Brian's situation might be less discouraging than <v Narrator>they thought. They have just now become patients of infertility specialist and researcher <v Narrator>Richard Mars. <v Brian Hurley>The doctors introduced another idea, which was, as far as I know, kind of our last <v Brian Hurley>card, and that is something called Pecoll. <v Narrator>Doctor Mars and other researchers are looking for ways to improve sperm function in <v Narrator>men who fail the hamster test. <v Narrator>1 approach is to wash the sperm in various preparations. <v Doctor Mars>Percoll is just another type of media to wash sperm with, but it has a <v Doctor Mars>distinct ability in some men, a small number of men to <v Doctor Mars>improve the ability of the sperm to penetrate. <v Doctor Mars>So it's something that we'll use when when all else fails. <v Candice Hurley>We're starting from scratch. <v Candice Hurley>It's a brand new ballgame. You know, we- it's- everything we've done before means <v Candice Hurley>nothing. And now we're starting over.
<v Narrator>Today, Brian and Candice are seeing Dr Mar's associate, Bill Ye. <v Doctor Bill Ye>Based off the ultrasound finding, I think it'd be a good idea to do a Percoll separation today. <v Narrator>Brian will be among the first men in the country to have his sperm washed with Pecoll. <v Narrator>It's a relief for Candice to feel that she is no longer the sole cause of their fertility <v Narrator>problems. <v Candice Hurley>Going through medical treatment and always being <v Candice Hurley>told that it's just you is a terrible, <v Candice Hurley>terrible guilt trip. I've many times told Brian that he should <v Candice Hurley>just leave me and find a fertile woman. <v Brian Hurley>I know for a long time she had an unnecessary but a guilt feeling <v Brian Hurley>about her lack of being able to provide. <v Brian Hurley>And it is a little bit closer knit now, I think, because she doesn't have <v Brian Hurley>all the weight on her shoulders. <v Doctor Bill Ye>Slightly-. <v Narrator>Brian's sperm has spent the last 90 minutes in a Pecoll wash.
<v Narrator>It's now concentrated in a small volume ready for an intrauterine insemination. <v Doctor Bill Ye>We took very good care of it. It looks like a very good specimen. <v Doctor Bill Ye>The mortality is good. And the concentration is very good. <v Candice Hurley>I went to my last shower about 9 months ago and <v Candice Hurley>I don't go to them anymore. <v Candice Hurley>Having a child is is so far off in the future <v Candice Hurley>to me, I really looked to the getting pregnant. <v Candice Hurley>And so that's the part that I longed for so much and that makes me so depressed when I <v Candice Hurley>see a pregnant woman. <v Doctor Bill Ye>You may feel a cramp as I'm inserting a catheter, <v Doctor Bill Ye>or you may not feel anything at all. <v Candice Hurley>How many inseminations do think that we'll try? <v Doctor Bill Ye>I would recommend, at least 4. <v Candice Hurley>4? <v Doctor Bill Ye>Okay, it's all done. <v Doctor Bill Ye>Now you're talking as though you're not gonna get pregnant during this cycle. <v Doctor Bill Ye>Give this cycle a chance first. <v Doctor Bill Ye>All right? <v Candice Hurley>I always talk like I'm not going to get pregnant. <v Doctor Bill Ye>I know.
<v Candice Hurley>That's the best way. <v Doctor Bill Ye>So we've got to see how this cycle goes first. <v Candice Hurley>Okay. <v Narrator>It will be 2 weeks before Candice and Brian know whether or not she is pregnant. <v Narrator>Elaine Gordon and Edwin Greenberg were married in 1977. <v Narrator>A year later, they started trying to have a baby. <v Narrator>Elaine was 32 and Edwin was nearing 40. <v Narrator>In the 7 years since then, Elaine has undergone countless medical procedures, <v Narrator>including surgery to repair damage probably caused by an IUD she had used <v Narrator>for birth control. Now, Elaine and Edwin have adopted a baby girl, Lindsay. <v Narrator>But the desire to bear a child themselves has not left them. <v Edwin Greenberg>I'll remain with a feeling of incompleteness <v Edwin Greenberg>forever, I believe, for as long as I live. <v Edwin Greenberg>Maybe after if I don't have my own biological children. <v Edwin Greenberg>I think I'll have an ache forever. <v Elaine Gordon>Intellectually, you know that you're no different than anybody else.
<v Elaine Gordon>I'm a woman, I'm a competent woman, this and that. <v Elaine Gordon>And yet emotionally, I think way down deep, you think there's something wrong <v Elaine Gordon>with you. You're defected on some level. <v Elaine Gordon>Something's wrong. You're not quite the woman you think you are, you <v Elaine Gordon>would like to be. <v Narrator>For the last 2 years, Elaine and Edwin have pinned their hopes on the most advanced <v Narrator>technology available, in vitro fertilization. <v Narrator> <v Doctor Bill Ye>Here you may be able to see <v Doctor Bill Ye>the dark structure in the middle is your bladder. <v Doctor Bill Ye>The ovoid structure in the center here is your uterus. <v Narrator>Like Candice and Brian, Elaine and Edwin are patients in Dr. Mars' practice. <v Narrator>And today, Dr. Ye is examining A to see whether she has produced enough eggs for <v Narrator>an in vitro procedure this month. <v Narrator>In vitro means in glass. <v Narrator>Hence the nickname test tube babies. <v Narrator>In an in vitro cycle, ovulation drugs are used to cause a number of eggs
<v Narrator>to ripen rather than the normal 1 per cycle. <v Narrator>Then fluid is drawn from the egg bearing follicles on the ovaries with a needle inserted <v Narrator>through the belly. <v Doctor Mars>This ?inaudible? of fluid, you can see there's a vial of maybe <v Doctor Mars>6 cc's. And in that there's a tiny little speck, which is what we need to locate. Like panning for gold. <v Narrator>The <v Narrator>eggs together with the husband's sperm, remain in the lab for 2 days. <v Narrator>As many as 4 embryos are then placed in the patient's uterus. <v Narrator>The odds of success are low. <v Narrator>Only 1 procedure in 10 will lead to the birth of a baby. <v Narrator>Nevertheless, in vitro remains the last hope of persistently infertile <v Narrator>couples. <v Narrator>For Elaine, this month, there is another disappointment. <v Narrator>She has just learned that she has not developed enough eggs to make completing her
<v Narrator>current in vitro cycle worthwhile. <v Elaine Gordon>I really did not expect her <v Elaine Gordon>to react the way I did. I thought I could just you know, it happens and I know it <v Elaine Gordon>happens. It happens to lots of people and I can to sort of move on. <v Elaine Gordon>And it just really bothered me. <v Edwin Greenberg>I'm starved. <v Elaine Gordon>Doesn't look that good. It's a funny color. <v Elaine Gordon>But having a child to me is really important. <v Elaine Gordon>Some of it may have to do with losing my mother when I was a year old. <v Elaine Gordon>So in some ways, I would like to be the mother that I never had. <v Elaine Gordon>And yet I can do that with Lindsay and I am doing it. <v Elaine Gordon>And yet I just really want to carry <v Elaine Gordon>a child and be pregnant. <v Edwin Greenberg>I think a lot about life and I think a lot about my life. <v Edwin Greenberg>And there's not that much meaning to my life without me thinking of <v Edwin Greenberg>my death and what happens after I'm gone.
<v Edwin Greenberg>And I mean, I've got to feel like I'm leaving something of value, <v Edwin Greenberg>something significant, something during, eternal, <v Edwin Greenberg>if at all possible. And so reproducing is a very <v Edwin Greenberg>fundamental way of of my seeing myself <v Edwin Greenberg>being eternal. <v Narrator>Compared to Elaine and Edwin, Terri Phillips and her husband, Maurice Sanchez, are <v Narrator>relative newcomers to infertility. <v Narrator>Terri had in fact, been pregnant in 1983 and she and Maurice had been delighted. <v Narrator>It had happened right on schedule. <v Narrator>His career as an attorney was underway. <v Narrator>They had just bought a condo. They were ready to start their family. <v Narrator>Then there was a miscarriage. They hoped Terri would become pregnant again right away. <v Maurice Sanchez>It didn't work out that way. It'll be 2 years. <v Maurice Sanchez>We haven't been able to get pregnant. At first, I would hardly ever think about it. <v Maurice Sanchez>And as time goes on now, I'm thinking about it more and more.
<v Maurice Sanchez>And they'll see a child and I'll think, gee, you know, our kid might be that age by now. <v Terri Phillips>I feel like I'm fighting every day. <v Terri Phillips>I'm fighting whoever is doing this to me, <v Terri Phillips>you know, like someone just ding me on the head and say, and said it's gonna be you. <v Narrator>Theire difficulties having a baby have led to frictions. <v Maurice Sanchez>It does create some problems because often I will want to go to a certain <v Maurice Sanchez>function, for example, where I work, they had a firm picnic, <v Maurice Sanchez>everyone was going to have their family and children there. <v Maurice Sanchez>And as it turned out, I knew Terri wouldn't want to go for that very reason that <v Maurice Sanchez>there were going to be children there. It would make her feel depressed. <v Terri Phillips>The reason I knew I didn't want to go is because I went last year and it was very <v Terri Phillips>emotional for me. In fact, I don't know what happened, <v Terri Phillips>but the tears just started coming while I was there and I had to walk away.
<v Terri Phillips>And that's very emotional. <v Terri Phillips>It's very upsetting. <v Terri Phillips>And it hurts and you feel different and you don't feel good about it. <v Narrator>Today is Maurice's second visit to urologist Fred Wolke, a specialist in Maylin <v Narrator>Fertility. Months earlier, his wife had already sought medical help. <v Maurice Sanchez>Terri started going to her doctor to her OBGYN, <v Maurice Sanchez>and I looked upon it really is not my problem, <v Maurice Sanchez>but when they started eliminating most of the factors with her, then I started thinking, <v Maurice Sanchez>oh, maybe, you know, maybe it is something that I should take a look at. <v Maurice Sanchez>And it was kind of hard for me to to get into that. <v Narrator>On Maurice's earlier visit, Dr. Wolke had found serious problems. <v Narrator>The motility of Maurice's sperm was 0. <v Narrator>They were simply not moving. <v Narrator>Dr. Wolke suspected that heat from a recent jacuzzi bath could have been responsible.
<v Narrator>He also found what he thought were white cells in the ejaculate. <v Narrator>A possible indication of infection. <v Doctor Wolke>The problem of white cells in the ejaculate is a difficult problem to <v Doctor Wolke>treat. First, you have to recognize the white cells and in Maurice's case, we're not sure <v Doctor Wolke>all the time what we're looking at are white cells or immature cells. <v Doctor Wolke>Male infertility is mainly the art of eliminating variables, <v Doctor Wolke>variables which may or may not be germane in any 1 particular case. <v Narrator>Dr. Wolke prescribed antibiotics for both Maurice and Terri and asked them <v Narrator>to use condoms until they completed the antibiotic treatment in order to avoid passing <v Narrator>any infection back and forth. <v Doctor Wolke>Have you been using condoms? <v Maurice Sanchez>Again no, because- <v Doctor Wolke>Vacation. <v Maurice Sanchez>Vacation and well, we've been and we've been trying to conceive and- <v Doctor Wolke>I know your wife is anxious, but if that means missing a couple of cycles of intrauterine <v Doctor Wolke>insemination to get this resolved, I think it would be better.
<v Maurice Sanchez>It's kind of tugging at you from both sides. <v Maurice Sanchez>You think, well, if I may be stop now, my chances of getting pregnant in a month <v Maurice Sanchez>or 2 might be good. But yet you're always thinking maybe this is the month <v Maurice Sanchez>that I'll get pregnant or Terri'll get pregnant, you know? <v Maurice Sanchez>So it's kind of hard to give those months up because they're going by. <v Doctor Wolke>For them I think it's the stress of missing one more opportunity <v Doctor Wolke>where they need to have the chance to become pregnant. <v Doctor Wolke>And of course, I sometimes tell people to take an infertility vacation <v Doctor Wolke>and have sex, for example, just for fun this <v Doctor Wolke>month, just so they get away from the stress of infertility while we can do our <v Doctor Wolke>treatment. <v Doctor Wolke>Now, go ahead and bear down. <v Doctor Wolke>And, you know, as we discussed, you had this fullness there and I just can't decide <v Doctor Wolke>whether that's a varicocele or not. <v Doctor Wolke>My suspicion is somewhat low. <v Narrator>Dr. Wolke is examining Moreese for a varicocele, a varicose vein in the scrotum, <v Narrator>which is sometimes implicated in male infertility.
<v Narrator>It's 1 more possibility that he has to eliminate. <v Maurice Sanchez>It's like being a guinea pig. <v Maurice Sanchez>You feel like you're, you know, being prodded and poked and they're trying <v Maurice Sanchez>all these different techniques on you and you're not sure what's going on. <v Maurice Sanchez>And a lot of times it doesn't even seem that the variables that they're <v Maurice Sanchez>trying to eliminate are necessarily applicable to you. <v Maurice Sanchez>It's just that, you know, they haven't tried it yet. <v Maurice Sanchez>So they want to try it on you and see whether or not it'll work. <v Narrator>Dr. Wolke decides that varicocele is not a factor in Maurice's case. <v Narrator>If it had been, the treatment would have required surgery. <v Doctor Wolke>?inaudible? clips please. <v Doctor Wolke>All we do is we find the varicose veins separated away from the artery <v Doctor Wolke>that supplies the testicle and then tie it off and take out a piece of the middle so <v Doctor Wolke>hopefully it doesn't recur. <v Doctor Wolke>This is a piece of varicose vein, do not send ?inaudible? <v Narrator>Exactly how very vericoceles affect fertility is not known, but at least they can
<v Narrator>sometimes be successfully treated. <v Narrator>Many other male fertility problems are even less well understood. <v Narrator>And no treatments for them are yet available. <v Doctor Wolke>Male infertility is an infant science. <v Doctor Wolke>Most of the major advances in the last 10 years and male infertility have come <v Doctor Wolke>out of advances directly related to technology and in vitro fertilization. <v Doctor Wolke>We're in the 1800s of male infertility compared to our gynecologists who are <v Doctor Wolke>really in the 21st century. <v Emcee>I give you Dr. Wolke. <v Narrator>Today, Dr. Wolke is addressing a seminar sponsored by the Orange County chapter of <v Narrator>Resolve, a national organization that offers infertile couples emotional support <v Narrator>and information. <v Doctor Wolke>Hot baths and jacuzzis. Now I get people all the time, I see people who tell me, <v Doctor Wolke>well, we know that hot baths or jacuzzis are bad for us, so we don't do it the week <v Doctor Wolke>before she ovulates. And this is a point I really want to drive home, that <v Doctor Wolke>if you get in a jacuzzi once, you can wipe out your fertility potential for the next 3 to
<v Doctor Wolke>6 months. And so- I see people doing. <v Doctor Wolke>The reason the testicles are on the outside in the scrotum is because 98.6 <v Doctor Wolke>is too hot for them. And if you get in a jacuzzi at 104, 105, <v Doctor Wolke>the sperm count will drop. The motility will drop. <v Doctor Wolke>And if you look at them under the microscope, they'll be like, you know, they'll be- <v Narrator>The women have traditionally been held responsible when couples have been unable to have <v Narrator>children. In 10 to 20 percent of the cases, the man and woman both have a problem <v Narrator>and half of all other infertility is due to men. <v Doctor Wolke>2 semen analyses, at least, should be part of any fertility workup, it is a <v Doctor Wolke>couple's problem. And if the semen analysis is abnormal, <v Doctor Wolke>most men will acknowledge that it is their problem. <v Doctor Wolke>I've had and seen patients where the male will not give a semen analysis because he knows <v Doctor Wolke>it's not his problem. That's obviously wrong. <v Maurice Sanchez>I know what's in the back of a lot of people's minds that, gee, you're
<v Maurice Sanchez>not really a man if you can't have a baby, if you can't father a baby. <v Maurice Sanchez>And it is traumatic because, you know, it really questions who you are and <v Maurice Sanchez>what you're all about. <v Doctor Wolke>But you can see that there's there's-. <v Narrator>In Maurice's case there is cause for some optimism. <v Narrator>The motility of his sperm has gone from 0 to 48 percent losing forms, perhaps <v Narrator>because he has stayed away from jacuzzi baths. <v Narrator>Now, Dr. Wolke hopes he and Terri will follow the prescribed treatment for the white <v Narrator>cells in Maurice's ejaculate. <v Narrator>If male infertility often baffles doctors, the causes of female infertility <v Narrator>are sometimes obvious and treatments are direct. <v Narrator>Val Davejan is a gynecologist who specializes in infertility. <v Narrator>Today, he is about to perform surgery on a 33 year old woman whose fertility <v Narrator>is threatened by tumors on her uterus. <v Doctor Val Davejan>The surgery is known as myomectomy, means moving smooth muscle <v Doctor Val Davejan>benign tumors of the uterus. They're a very common finding in women
<v Doctor Val Davejan>throughout the world. <v Doctor Val Davejan>And that's what it looks like. This is all fibroid. <v Doctor Val Davejan>This is her, right? ?inaudible? width is normal. <v Doctor Val Davejan>Here is a follicle on her left side. <v Doctor Val Davejan>The indication from myomectomy here is to preserve her childbearing and <v Doctor Val Davejan>to get the fibroid off the uterus before it damages the tube. <v Narrator>To be sure the fallopian tubes haven't already been damaged. <v Narrator>Dr. Davejan injects dye into the patient's uterus to see if her tubes are open <v Narrator>and presumably able to transport an egg. <v Doctor Val Davejan>There goes the left tube spilling blue dye. <v Doctor Val Davejan>That's coming right through the opening right there. <v Doctor Val Davejan>Even now, in many places, the United States people just look <v Doctor Val Davejan>at this and say it's too big and let's just go ahead and take <v Doctor Val Davejan>out the uterus. And we think that's wrong. <v Doctor Val Davejan>Can I have the ?inaudible?, please?
<v Doctor Val Davejan>Patients should always ask. <v Doctor Val Davejan>They should never be intimidated or think that they're hurting someone's feelings <v Doctor Val Davejan>by asking, are you a specialist? <v Doctor Val Davejan>How many cases have you done and what are your success rate? <v Doctor Val Davejan>That's a normal size uterus. It was like this, and <v Doctor Val Davejan>now it's like this. <v Narrator>Maxine and Chris Mocca have been patients of Dr. Divison for the past 2 and a half years <v Narrator>now. <v Doctor Val Davejan>Now that's this cycle? Have you had a period yet? <v Maxine Mocca>Yes. My period started yesterday, so I'm not pregnant. <v Narrator>Despite a long series of tests and treatments, Maxine and Chris haven't been able to have <v Narrator>a baby. they have never found out what is wrong. <v Doctor Val Davejan>Now that puts you in the 10 percent category, unexplained <v Doctor Val Davejan>infertility. <v Doctor Val Davejan>And that's probably 1 of the hardest categories to be in. <v Doctor Val Davejan>You've now ?inaudible? We have run out of tests and we've- if
<v Doctor Val Davejan>we're going to talk about failure, you haven't failed, it's really, our knowledge has <v Doctor Val Davejan>failed. We don't have all the answers. <v Maxine Mocca>Knowing that I'm still unexplained. <v Maxine Mocca>That's the hard part. And I just, you know, I want to have a baby. <v Doctor Val Davejan>This is very common. The patients just don't achieve a pregnancy, but they're <v Doctor Val Davejan>battered. They're a battered group of people that have been through a lot. <v Doctor Val Davejan>And all they wanted was something that's so natural for most people. <v Doctor Val Davejan>They're not asking for something that's really unrealistic. <v Doctor Val Davejan>They just want to be parents. You've really done everything. <v Doctor Val Davejan>And the issue is, what are we going to do about it? <v Narrator>Maxine and Chris want to try in vitro fertilization, which Dr. Davejan does not perform. <v Narrator>He agrees that the time has come for them to move on and just referring them to Dr. Mars. <v Narrator>Most of the 4 years of Maxine's married <v Narrator>life had been dominated by infertility. <v Narrator>When you get your period, you know, you go way down, it's probably as low as you can,
<v Narrator>you know, every month hoping that that you don't get it. <v Narrator>And then you start right back up on the rollercoaster, you know, mid cycle. <v Narrator>You're just real hopeful that everything's going to work out right this month. <v Narrator>As Maxine has become more and more caught up in her infertility, she has become active <v Narrator>in Resolve. <v Maxine Mocca>Resolve helps you or helps, has helped me <v Maxine Mocca>realize that there's other people out there that are feeling the same way and it's okay <v Maxine Mocca>to get upset because you get your period and it's okay to <v Maxine Mocca>want to run down a pregnant woman with your car when you see her crossing your crosswalk. <v Narrator>For infertility specialists like Dr. Davejan, the emotional trials that patients <v Narrator>go through are never far away. <v Doctor Val Davejan>I think the word fear of not having this <v Doctor Val Davejan>pregnancy, the fear of being barren is a biological need. <v Doctor Val Davejan>I don't know what the answer is, but it's so real, so powerful
<v Doctor Val Davejan>as an emotion wanting to be a parent. <v Doctor Val Davejan>I think fear of not achieving that is the overwhelming emotion that I run <v Doctor Val Davejan>into. <v Narrator>Today Dr. Davejan is attending a conference in Santa Barbara called Reaching for <v Narrator>Parenthood. <v Adopting mother>I mean, I realized when my son was a month old and I had a chance to think about <v Adopting mother>it, I was very satisfied with this adopted baby and still terribly <v Adopting mother>upset about being infertile. <v Doctor Val Davejan>This over all gloom that takes over has to be dealt with <v Doctor Val Davejan>and pushed aside once awhile. <v Doctor Val Davejan>We're destroying youth and good times of life for <v Doctor Val Davejan>the one aspect of this life process. <v Andrea Shrednick>You just brought up the aspect of obsessional qualities in <v Andrea Shrednick>fertility. Val and I went to Minneapolis a couple of months ago <v Andrea Shrednick>and I brought up the fact that I thought that infertility was also an addiction <v Andrea Shrednick>by every DS- <v Narrator>Andrea Shrednick is a psychologist who counsels some of Dr. Dalvejan's patients on <v Narrator>infertility and adoption issues.
<v Andrea Shrednick>What do you do with it? Where do you go? <v Andrea Shrednick>How do you cope with it? <v Doctor Val Davejan>To the pusher, that's what you call the doctor, the pusher. <v Off-camera woman>The ?inaudible? care unit. <v Andrea Shrednick>And we hope that it will work and there- you give statistics and we all believe <v Andrea Shrednick>we're going to be in that 20 percent statistical number. <v Andrea Shrednick>What do we do with that? <v Adopting mother>See, I resent calling it an addiction because I think that I have a right to <v Adopting mother>feel bad about being infertile and maybe someday I won't. <v Andrea Shrednick>I don't necessarily mean it as a negative. <v Adopting mother>No, well, [crosstalk] addiction is a negative. <v Doctor Val Davejan>Maybe you can call it habituation. <v Woman in circle>But I think an addiction in the sense that every month you have to take your temperature <v Woman in circle>every day. And yes, you're not addicted in the sense that you could stop, <v Woman in circle>but I remember people telling me, why don't you take a month off, why don't you stop? <v Woman in circle>And I was obsessed. <v Woman in circle>I couldn't stop. <v Doctor Val Davejan>There was a withdrawal. <v Woman in circle>Because I felt like I'm missing another month. My goodness, I won't be pregnant this <v Woman in circle>month if I don't do it. <v Labor coach>OK, so we're in early labor. <v Labor coach>All right. And we remember our picture of early labor. Early labor is usually not an
<v Labor coach>uncomfortable time. Relax. <v Narrator>While Maxine and Chris are still pursuing medical treatments, they have also been trying <v Narrator>to adopt a baby. 1 adoption fell through at the last moment, but now <v Narrator>they have met Leslie, who has agreed to give them her baby. <v Narrator>Maxine will be Leslie's labor coach. <v Leslie>I was shocked when when Maxine and Chris were telling me about the things that they'd <v Leslie>been going through being infertile, why me being single and poor and, <v Leslie>you know, and needing to do something with her life. <v Leslie>Why should I be getting pregnant just like that? <v Leslie>Why is it so easy for me and so hard for other people? <v Maxine Mocca>Are you nervous? Me too. <v Narrator>Leslie is having a cesarean birth and Maxine is with her. <v Narrator>For many infertile couples, adoption becomes a solution. <v Narrator>Today, the majority of baby adoptions are independently arranged. <v Narrator>Though adoption agencies have traditionally wanted couples to have put aside medical <v Narrator>treatment before adopting, many couples do pursue medical treatment and adoption
<v Narrator>simultaneously. <v Maxine Mocca>So I think it's really presumptuous of an agency to to think that it has <v Maxine Mocca>to be focused 100 percent on adopting a child and 0 <v Maxine Mocca>percent on ourselves. <v Maxine Mocca>Oh, I see its head. <v Leslie>Do you? <v Nurse>Here's the head coming out. <v Maxine Mocca>Okay. <v Nurse>It's a boy! <v Maxine Mocca>It's a boy! Oh! <v Nurse>Are you emotionally settled want to go see him? <v Maxine Mocca>Yeah. <v Nurse>You can go over and around. <v Leslie>Go ahead, he's yours. <v Maxine Mocca>When women are pregnant, I think that sometimes they lose track <v Maxine Mocca>or lose sight of how actually blessed they really <v Maxine Mocca>are. Pregnancy is a gift. I honestly believe that. <v Maxine Mocca>It's, it's, it's a gift. The life is a gift.
<v Maxine Mocca>And it's not something that should be taken for granted. <v Maxine Mocca>That's a real experience, that's a real experience. <v Maxine Mocca>Leslie's doing really good. She did wonderful. <v Maxine Mocca>She really did. I'm going to go down there with the baby. <v Narrator>It's now 1986. <v Narrator>4 months after she began intrauterine inseminations with Brian's Percoll washed <v Narrator>semen, Candice Hurley became pregnant. <v Candice Hurley>I did the home pregnancy test and instantly turned blue. <v Candice Hurley>I had 2 days of total elation and <v Candice Hurley>then I started spotting. <v Candice Hurley>And, of course, it was so frightening. <v Candice Hurley>I've had so many people tell me that already. <v Candice Hurley>Well, at least, you know, you can get pregnant. <v Candice Hurley>Well, it took us 4 years to get pregnant. <v Candice Hurley>You know, who knows if I will ever get pregnant again.
<v Candice Hurley>No one knows that. So we had so many odds stacked against <v Candice Hurley>us in the first place that, you know, this really true is miracle pregnancy. <v Narrator>Now, Candice is 6 weeks pregnant. <v Narrator>And today, she and Brian hope to find out whether the pregnancy is viable. <v Doctor Bill Ye>Well, congratulations. The pregnany is inside the uterus. I'm going to demonstrate the heartbeat. <v Candice Hurley>Oh please do. <v Doctor Bill Ye>I thought I saw it for a minute there. There it is, right there. <v Candice Hurley>That's the heartbeat? <v Doctor Bill Ye>There it is. <v Candice Hurley>That's it, really? <v Doctor Bill Ye>Very difficult to see. Can't be absolutely sure, but I'm very confident. Right there.
<v Candice Hurley>I guess I don't probably feel as pregnant as some people do who assume <v Candice Hurley>they're going to carry, assume that they're going have a normal pregnancy, because I <v Candice Hurley>don't assume that at all. I'm, I'm ready for anything that comes along. <v Candice Hurley>I think that's the infertile person's way of dealing through the years <v Candice Hurley>with all the disappointments. <v Narrator>A week later, Candice's doctors could find no heartbeat. <v Narrator>The pregnancy was not viable. <v Narrator>9 months have passed. As Elaine has waited for enough follicles to develop to make an in <v Narrator>vitro cycle worthwhile. <v Narrator>Now she has 2, and she and Edwin have decided to go ahead, even though Dr. Mars <v Narrator>prefers to have a larger number of eggs available. <v Doctor Mars>We take ?inaudible? both folicles first, and then- <v Narrator>Dr. Mars is among the in vitro pioneers. <v Narrator>In 1982, he was responsible for 1 of the first in vitro babies born in the United <v Narrator>States.
<v Doctor Mars>I got into this area because it was, it was a difficult area. <v Doctor Mars>It was a challenge. It was- people said it couldn't be done. <v Doctor Mars>Well, I kind of like people telling me things like that because <v Doctor Mars>it just makes me a lot more aggressive in approaching those problems. <v Narrator>Today, instead of performing traditional in vitro fertilization with Elaine, <v Narrator>Dr. Mars will be attempting a procedure that has recently been developed as an offshoot <v Narrator>of in vitro. The new method is called gamete intrafallopian tube transfer, <v Narrator>or GIFT. <v Narrator>In the GIFT procedure, eggs will be recovered in the same way as for in vitro, but <v Narrator>rather than fertilized them in the lab, Dr. Mars will immediately placed the eggs <v Narrator>together with Edwin's sperm in Elaine's 1 good fallopian tube. <v Narrator>The hope is that having fertilization occur in its natural environment will improve the <v Narrator>likelihood of a pregnancy. <v Elaine Gordon>You're always given hope because they- like a new medical treatment comes out, a new
<v Elaine Gordon>discovery, new medicine, new something. <v Elaine Gordon>And you're willing to try it because all of a sudden have another chance. <v Doctor Mars>There's a, here's the top of your uterus. <v Doctor Mars>We'll place the aspirating needle in to <v Doctor Mars>this large follicle first and drain it. <v Doctor Mars>You see the follicle collapsing on the screen as <v Doctor Mars>the fluid is draining out. That's <v Doctor Mars>the first one. <v Doctor Mars>There's only 1 other one, so let me know as soon as you can <v Doctor Mars>about that one and we'll see. Turn on the intercom so we can talk to Jodi. <v Jodi>I'm grading, and this is a 2 plus in our grading system, <v Jodi>2 plus is a mature egg, this is a mature one. You can tell that by the dispersement of <v Jodi>the cumulous mass, the radiating effect of the corona. <v Jodi>There's a 2 plus. <v Doctor Mars>Good. Music to my ears.
<v Edwin Greenberg>The 2 most difficult times for me center around <v Edwin Greenberg>the in vitro procedure, the beginning of it and the end <v Edwin Greenberg>of it, there's a certain optimism, but also a certain futility <v Edwin Greenberg>that I feel as I sit there. <v Edwin Greenberg>It's a very difficult time for me emotionally. <v Jodi>There's only one piece of cumulous mass in that second folicle. <v Doctor Mars>That should have been a good, good aspirate. <v Doctor Mars>I'm re-aspirating it now. <v Narrator>Though Elaine's second follicle looked good, no egg was found inside. <v Narrator>And so only a single egg is placed with Edwin's sperm in a catheter and brought <v Narrator>back to the operating room for transfer to Elaine's tube. <v Doctor Mars>Let's grasp the tube behind its fimbriated end. Attempt to put this catheter into the <v Doctor Mars>opening of the tube and then transfer the egg and sperm
<v Doctor Mars>into the fallopian tube. Can't seem to get around the angle. That's not doing it either. Can't <v Doctor Mars>get the damn thing to go around the corner. Try that. <v Doctor Mars>Still not happy with that. Damn it. <v Doctor Mars>She's got some adhesions inside. <v Doctor Mars>It's got to be the only thing that's holding it up. <v Doctor Mars>Can't do it. <v Doctor Mars>We'll put those back in the culture.
<v Narrator>Unable to place the egg and sperm in Elaine's fallopian tubes, Dr. Mars sends <v Narrator>them back to the lab. And what began as GIFT ends up as a standard in vitro <v Narrator>procedure. <v Narrator>2 days have passed, the embryo is ready for transfer to a uterus. <v Doctor Mars>There it is. It's a nice ?inaudible? embryo, it's healthy. <v Doctor Mars>See the 1, 2, 3 and 4 cells are dividing. <v Narrator>With just 1 embryo. Dr. Mars and Elaine know the chance for having a baby <v Narrator>from today's transfer is not very great. <v Doctor Mars>I don't know if you can see it but that little drop of water right there. <v Doctor Mars>That's where your embryo is. It's all in there. <v Doctor Mars>You're gonna feel a little pressure. <v Elaine Gordon>The idea of not continuing or pursuing trying to have a biological child <v Elaine Gordon>just has never crossed my mind. I don't know. There's something about me that I need to <v Elaine Gordon>keep going, to keep trying.
<v Elaine Gordon>I'll always be looking for a new medical procedure until my own body says I just can't do <v Elaine Gordon>it anymore. <v Narrator>This is the third time in 3 years of trying in vitro that Elaine has reached the embryo <v Narrator>transfer stage. <v Elaine Gordon>You feel pregnant for that moment in time. <v Elaine Gordon>I mean, they've transferred fertilized eggs into you. <v Elaine Gordon>I think it's the closest I've ever come to becoming pregnant or being pregnant. <v Elaine Gordon>And you're like, you're so close and you just don't quite make it. <v Narrator>In 2 weeks time, Elaine and Edwin will learn that once again she is not pregnant. <v Edwin Greenberg>We try to keep a damper on our hopes, but <v Edwin Greenberg>when either I get a phone call or just <v Edwin Greenberg>being here and, you know, Elaine will say that <v Edwin Greenberg>she's gotten her period. <v Edwin Greenberg>Well, it's a real blow.
<v Maurice Sanchez>It's a year and a half since Maurice Sanchez last saw a Dr. Wolke. <v Maurice Sanchez>14 months ago, he and Terri adopted a baby girl, Marissa. <v Terri Phillips>It wasn't that I just decided to stop with the medical and <v Terri Phillips>go for adoption. It was like I was going for anything I could. <v Maurice Sanchez>It was really a welcome break to stop the medical treatment once we adopted the baby. <v Maurice Sanchez>It was such a relief that we actually had a baby there in our house <v Maurice Sanchez>and we didn't feel that she was any less our baby because she was adopted. <v Maurice Sanchez>We're just so happy to have her, and just the added relief of not <v Maurice Sanchez>having to go through these medical treatments constantly, I think took a big strain off <v Maurice Sanchez>of us and allowed us to become a lot closer. <v Narrator>Maurice and Terri still want to have a biological child, and now that Marissa is a year <v Narrator>old, they have resumed medical treatments. <v Terri Phillips>I don't think any couple in our situation ever gives <v Terri Phillips>up unless someone comes and tells you, absolutely, you will never have a baby.
<v Terri Phillips>It's impossible. I don't think anybody gives up. <v Narrator>Maurice's medical situation has improved. <v Narrator>He and Terri have now followed all of Dr. Wolke's recommendations and where earlier <v Narrator>he had failed the hamster egg penetration test, Maurice has now passed. <v Doctor Wolke>I'm optimistic from a male point of view that that I have fixed his variable. <v Doctor Wolke>I feel there are no white cells in his most recent semen analysis, and therefore I was <v Doctor Wolke>confident that he would pass a hamster egg test. <v Doctor Wolke>He did pass, but on the hamster egg test, they caught a lot of white cells, so. <v Narrator>At about the time he was first treating Maurice Sanchez, Dr. Wolke began to suspect <v Narrator>that he himself might be infertile. <v Narrator>He and his wife, Kathy Mallin, had stopped using birth control, but there was no <v Narrator>pregnancy. Tests show that Kathy had no apparent problems. <v Doctor Wolke>So I called the best urologist I know, namely myself, and did a semen analysis and <v Doctor Wolke>thought I had white cells, so I treated myself. <v Doctor Wolke>And finally we just weren't getting pregnant.
<v Doctor Wolke>And I think my wife fired the urologist handling the case. <v Cathy Mallon>I think until fairly recently, the two of us were a little bit out of step <v Cathy Mallon>in our dealing with the situation. <v Cathy Mallon>I think I felt the urgency to have a child before Fred. <v Narrator>Only after Fred Wolke failed a hamster egg penetration test did he begin to share <v Narrator>his wife's concern. <v Doctor Wolke>I've always been sensitive to the fact that infertile couples are stressed by the <v Doctor Wolke>reactions of their, their realitve, relatives saying how come you're not pregnant yet <v Doctor Wolke>by people saying, how come you don't have any children? <v Doctor Wolke>I never thought that would bother me if someone said, why don't you have kids? <v Doctor Wolke>I'd say, I'm infertile. And that wouldn't bother me. <v Doctor Wolke>But, you know, it bothers me to say it. It bothers me not to have children. <v Doctor Wolke>It bothers me to have to go on with this month after month. <v Doctor Wolke>And it bothers me when they ask me. <v Cathy Mallon>It's made me much more acutely aware of things I may have said to people how flippantly I <v Cathy Mallon>said to people before I knew, oh, I'm sure you'll be able to have <v Cathy Mallon>a baby soon. All the remarks, the standard phrases that everybody makes.
<v Cathy Mallon>You don't mean to be insensitive, but I realize now how many times I <v Cathy Mallon>was very flip about it with somebody else. <v Narrator>Why Fred didn't pass the hamster test was never clear when a series of intrauterine <v Narrator>inseminations failed. The next hope for Cathy and Fred became in vitro fertilization. <v Narrator>A week ago, Cathy completed an in vitro cycle. <v Narrator>Now they have another week to wait before learning whether she is pregnant. <v Cathy Mallon>This is probably the hardest 2 weeks of my whole life. <v Cathy Mallon>I was not prepared for how I would feel. <v Cathy Mallon>I go up and down 10 times a day. Yes, I'm pregnant. <v Cathy Mallon>No, I'm not. Have a lot of little fantasies. <v Cathy Mallon>Don't really think too much about what I'll do if the test is negative, though I'm honest <v Cathy Mallon>with myself probably a couple of times a day and realize that there's a good chance that <v Cathy Mallon>it will be. <v Doctor Wolke>We both cried. <v Doctor Wolke>We don't know what we've cried about because we don't know anything definitive. <v Doctor Wolke>We're waiting to see. We're crying under the stress of waiting to find out whether <v Doctor Wolke>there's going to be another period, another sense of disappointment, and another set of
<v Doctor Wolke>parties where all of our friends have said, aren't you pregnant yet? <v Narrator>1 week later, Fred and Cathy received disheartening news. <v Narrator>The pregnancy test was negative. <v Cathy Mallon>To most people. Having a baby is something they wanted, something they planned and <v Cathy Mallon>something that happened. And that was exactly the same for Fred and I. <v Cathy Mallon>It just didn't happen. <v Narrator>It's been a year and a half since Maxine and Chris adopted their baby named Cory. <v Narrator>Looking back, Maxine realizes that the experience of motherhood has not always <v Narrator>matched her fantasies. <v Maxine Mocca>You feel like you're going to be super mother. <v Maxine Mocca>You're going to be super parent. <v Maxine Mocca>You know, you're not going to get upset. <v Maxine Mocca>You're not going to be at 2:00 in the morning when the child screaming and you want to <v Maxine Mocca>sleep. You know, it's kind of like, well this is what I wanted, you know? <v Maxine Mocca>And I remember Cory was about two weeks old and he was he <v Maxine Mocca>would cry every night. And I would just- I was in there rocking him and I was crying
<v Maxine Mocca>and thinking, this is what I wanted? <v Maxine Mocca>This is what I wanted at 2:00 in the morning to do for the rest of my life? <v Maxine Mocca>And I all of sudden this wave of guilt came over me and thought, how can you have such <v Maxine Mocca>horrible thoughts? This is what you wanted. <v Maxine Mocca>This is what you've been striving for for all these years. <v Maxine Mocca>How can you think that you don't want this? <v Narrator>When Courtney was 9 months old, Maxine started an in vitro fertilization cycle <v Narrator>but abruptly backed out. <v Maxine Mocca>I didn't want to face the possibility of a failure. <v Maxine Mocca>And I called, I told Chris that night about 10 o'clock. <v Maxine Mocca>I said, I can't do this. I just can't. <v Maxine Mocca>He said what do you mean can't do this? We've come this far. I said I've got- I have to <v Maxine Mocca>be in control here, and I don't want to do it and I just want to stop. <v Narrator>At the moment, Maxine has no plans to resume in fertility treatments. <v Maxine Mocca>I just want to be mom. I just, you know, I just kind of put in fertility on the back <v Maxine Mocca>burner. And I just want to be like everybody else who has children.
<v Narrator>It has been almost a year since Candice Hurley lost her first pregnancy. <v Narrator>In that time, she encountered another obstacle, ovulation problems, which took 9 <v Narrator>months to adjust. She is now 9 weeks into a new pregnancy. <v Narrator>And today she and Brian will learn whether this 1 is viable. <v Candice Hurley>Once you are pregnant and it <v Candice Hurley>doesn't happen for you, it's, it- I told Brian it took a piece out of my heart. <v Candice Hurley>I don't think I'll ever get back. It was so incredibly devastating after <v Candice Hurley>all those years to finally reach the goal and then have it <v Candice Hurley>taken away from you. <v Doctor Mars>See the heartbeat right there? <v Candice Hurley>I see it! I really see it. <v Doctor Mars>That's probably the baby's head right there. <v Doctor Mars>You're seeing the gestational sac, that's the dark circles inside <v Doctor Mars>the uterus. See the baby moving like that? <v Brian Hurley>I was just asking if it can move, it'sr eally moving. <v Candice Hurley>Is it moving itself?
<v Doctor Mars>Yeah it's moving. It's got arms and legs. <v Candice Hurley>Where are they? <v Brian Hurley>At the arms and legs. <v Candice Hurley>It's going to make Brian cry. He said he if heard about arms and legs-. <v Doctor Mars>That's a baby's head right there. <v Doctor Mars>It's lying on its back. <v Candice Hurley>Are its arms up and its little feet below? <v Doctor Mars>That's usually ?inaudible? <v Candice Hurley>It looks so good to see a heartbeat. <v Doctor Mars>Everything's fine, looks good. <v Brian Hurley>You feel better? It was a long ride up here. <v Candice Hurley>I wouldn't even talk to him. <v Doctor Mars>Everything looks great. <v Doctor Mars>Pretty much gone limit <v Doctor Mars>of everything that could happen to them did. <v Doctor Mars>It's always an emotional situation because you work with patients very <v Doctor Mars>closely for a long period of time and when pregnancy does occur, it's kind
<v Doctor Mars>of a family reunion. <v Candice Hurley>Okay we have a game today that we're going to do on the floor. <v Candice Hurley>Ok? <v Narrator>For the next 12 weeks, Candice's pregnancy continued looking good. <v Narrator>Gradually, she allowed herself to become optimistic. <v Narrator>She started buying maternity clothes and planning time off of her school duties as a <v Narrator>speech therapist to get ready for the baby's arrival. <v Candice Hurley>I had felt kind of little twinges and <v Candice Hurley>I decided that I would call my doctor and tell him that I I couldn't put <v Candice Hurley>my finger on it, but I just had a feeling something was wrong. <v Narrator>Candice soon learned that something was indeed very wrong. <v Candice Hurley>So I was in labor and I was getting ready to give birth basically, <v Candice Hurley>and I was 21 weeks pregnant. <v Candice Hurley>So, of course, I was scared to death. I just thought, no, not again. <v Candice Hurley>How could this happen to me? <v Doctor Peter Anzaldo>If left unattended with no supervision,
<v Doctor Peter Anzaldo>one would see inevitable delivery, and being that she's only 21, <v Doctor Peter Anzaldo>22 weeks, the baby would surely die because of prematurity. <v Narrator>Candice's obstetrician Peter Anzaldo specializes in high risk pregnancies. <v Narrator>He believes her latest complications are the result of her mother's having been treated <v Narrator>with a drug called DES while she was pregnant with Candace. <v Narrator>DES was thought to prevent miscarriages. <v Narrator>In fact, it caused a variety of reproductive problems in the daughters of women who <v Narrator>took it. <v Doctor Peter Anzaldo>We've seen DES-exposed women who get pregnant and have <v Doctor Peter Anzaldo>problems all along for miscarriages to premature births to incompetent <v Doctor Peter Anzaldo>cervix. <v Narrator>Now, Candice is faced with spending the remaining 3 months of her pregnancy in bed. <v Narrator>Twice a day, she uses a home monitoring system so that her contractions can be followed. <v Narrator>And she takes a drug called terbutaline every 2 hours night and day to relax her uterus.
<v Doctor Peter Anzaldo>With the care that she's getting my goal is try to achieve <v Doctor Peter Anzaldo>a a gestation in which the baby would live, i.e. <v Doctor Peter Anzaldo>30, 32 weeks. I would say over 95 percent of the babies would do fine if she <v Doctor Peter Anzaldo>were to be born prematurely. <v Candice Hurley>After a couple days, I just kind of get stubborn, which has always helped <v Candice Hurley>me through this. And thought I'm not going to let this beat me. <v Candice Hurley>I'm going to- if they have to hang me upside down at the hospital, I'll do it. <v Narrator>Since the unsuccessful GIFT attempt 2 years ago, Elaine Gordon has gone through <v Narrator>2 more procedures with Dr. Mars. <v Narrator>She finally became pregnant, but the embryo implanted in the tube rather than the uterus <v Narrator>and both the pregnancy and the tube were lost. <v Doctor Mars>Elaine's a veteran of the infertility wars. <v Doctor Mars>She's been through everything that a woman and a man can go through. <v Doctor Mars>And yet they've failed and we failed.
<v Doctor Mars>That leads to to the to the bottom line issue. <v Doctor Mars>And that is that even though these technologies can do certain things for certain people, <v Doctor Mars>that doesn't mean that everybody can accomplish a pregnancy from <v Doctor Mars>in vitro fertilization or gamete into fallopian tube transfer or <v Doctor Mars>intrauterine insemination or surgical microsurgical correction <v Doctor Mars>of the fallopian tube. <v Doctor Mars>They're just not that perfect. <v Elaine Gordon>It's gotten a lot easier for me with time. <v Elaine Gordon>A lot easier. I mean, there's a real likelihood that I will never have a biological <v Elaine Gordon>child and I'm really at peace with that. <v Elaine Gordon>That doesn't mean that I don't want one. But I'm real, you know, my life will go on. <v Elaine Gordon>It'll be fine. <v Edwin Greenberg>Being a father has <v Edwin Greenberg>really eclipsed many of the issues that I <v Edwin Greenberg>initially had before I was really involved in fathering as <v Edwin Greenberg>Lindsay has grown older. <v Edwin Greenberg>I'm just more more thrilled to
<v Edwin Greenberg>be able to be a protector and nurturer and someone who plays with her <v Edwin Greenberg>and teaches her and does all those kinds of things. <v Edwin Greenberg>And, you know, when she says, oh, daddy, I love you so much, it <v Edwin Greenberg>tends to make everything all right. <v Edwin Greenberg>It's not as I don't feel any twinge. <v Edwin Greenberg>I still have that twinge. <v Edwin Greenberg>That, that feeling of discomfort. <v Edwin Greenberg>But, I mean, I can live with it. <v Narrator>Elaine is considering another in vitro attempt. <v Elaine Gordon>I don't think it has the tremendous negative impact on my life, so it's not a big <v Elaine Gordon>deal to do it anymore. The infertility experience seems to grow way <v Elaine Gordon>out of proportion and it's consuming. <v Elaine Gordon>And there is- and you can't see anything else but infertility. <v Elaine Gordon>I always talk to people about something being second choice and second best. <v Elaine Gordon>Lindsay, you know, was a second choice in terms of how we got <v Elaine Gordon>her. She's certainly not second best. <v Elaine Gordon>I mean, there's nothing better than Lindsay as far as I'm concerned.
<v Elaine Gordon>But you can't tell anybody that. I didn't know that until after she came into my home. <v Elaine Gordon>Everybody has to come to that in their own way. <v Narrator>Terri Phillips resumed medical treatment, intrauterine inseminations with Maurice's <v Narrator>sperm a year ago. She soon became pregnant. <v Narrator>Now Terri and Morris have a new baby. <v Narrator>3 week old Kenzie. <v Terri Phillips>We went into it the second time around with kind of a different attitude. <v Terri Phillips>Since we had Marissa, it wasn't so intense like this <v Terri Phillips>month, I have to get pregnant and if I don't, I'm just going to feel like dying. <v Terri Phillips>I mean, I felt like that before for like 2 years every <v Terri Phillips>month. <v Maurice Sanchez>I don't think I'll ever forget that because it was such a such an important <v Maurice Sanchez>experience to us. And now that we have the kids, I think that that it was all worth it. <v Terri Phillips>I feel more a part of what's going on out there.
<v Terri Phillips>You know, I'm sure people didn't look at me and think of me as being different, but I <v Terri Phillips>just felt that way. And I feel like I found a part of me <v Terri Phillips>that was missing. <v Narrator>A year after their failed in vitro attempt, Cathy Mallon and Fred Wolke will <v Narrator>be having a baby. <v Cathy Mallon>This is the first ultrasound. This is the first time we saw our baby. <v Cathy Mallon>And it doesn't look very exciting. But it was it was the most, I think, 1 of the <v Cathy Mallon>most wonderful days of my life. The little arrow is showing it has the uterus in this <v Cathy Mallon>tiny little blob at the top there is our baby. <v Doctor Wolke>I had this tremendous sense that my life had changed, that I had been let off this <v Doctor Wolke>somewhat cruel merry go round where everyone in the world seems to be able to <v Doctor Wolke>get pregnant at the drop of a hat and it just wasn't happening for for us. <v Birthing coach>We don't want to curve the back down, 1 2 3 and then straight.
<v Cathy Mallon>Normal people, you know, have babies and they go to the ?inaudible? <v Cathy Mallon>classes. It's nice just to be able to be a normal person, getting fat like <v Cathy Mallon>everybody else and getting prepared. <v Narrator>Though he is a specialist in male infertility, Dr. Wolke was in the end <v Narrator>dependent on a gynecologist and an experimental technique to overcome his problems. <v Doctor Wolke>At the time of in vitro fertilization, the doctor <v Doctor Wolke>took some of my wife's follicular fluid and refrigerated it and saved it. <v Doctor Wolke>The cycle of insemination that we had, the semen was prepared using my wife's human <v Doctor Wolke>follicular fluid. And so my sperm was incubated in her follicular fluid and then <v Doctor Wolke>inseminated and it worked. <v Narrator>Maxine's son, Cory, is now 2 and a half years old. <v Maxine Mocca>I knew he was there. I've been around a lot of women that <v Maxine Mocca>have their children in preschool with Cory that are pregnant or have just recently had
<v Maxine Mocca>children. And it's surprisingly it hasn't bothered me at all. <v Maxine Mocca>And I think because now I'm it's I'm almost validated <v Maxine Mocca>as a parent now. I'm really you know, I have a child I raised till 2 and a half. <v Maxine Mocca>He's now in preschool. I mean, doing all the things that I would normally have done if I <v Maxine Mocca>had had a biological child. There's no- the the adoption versus biological. <v Maxine Mocca>There's no there's no difference. And I guess I can finally see that. <v Candice Hurley>The minute I saw him I knew I was going to be okay. <v Candice Hurley>Even though it was scary how early. It just looked like a little healthy baby. <v Candice Hurley>Just tiny. And they put him up on me right away, which was like <v Candice Hurley>they do normal people, you know. <v Candice Hurley>And that was so nice. All worth it. That was the first <v Candice Hurley>thing I said, it was worth everything.
<v Narrator>5 and a half years after Candice and Brian began in fertility treatments, Kelan <v Narrator>Hurley was born. He came 6 weeks early, weighing 5 pounds, 10 ounces. <v Narrator>At 32 weeks, Candice had contractions that couldn't be stopped at home and so spent the <v Narrator>final 2 weeks of her pregnancy in the hospital. <v Narrator>By the end, she had developed gestational diabetes from the medication to hold off labor <v Narrator>and an inflammation in her esophagus from lying in bed so long. <v Narrator>But she and Brian had their baby. <v Candice Hurley>Brian hasn't stopped crying the whole time. <v Candice Hurley>He loses it a lot. <v Brian Hurley>I know, I'm trying not to start crying again. <v Brian Hurley>It's just inconcievable that-
KCET Journal
Expecting Miracles
Producing Organization
KCET (Television station : Los Angeles, Calif.)
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The Walter J. Brown Media Archives & Peabody Awards Collection at the University of Georgia (Athens, Georgia)
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"EXPECTING MIRACLES reveals the story of four couples' battles with infertility. The program is a dramatic, candid documentary, which reveals complex and costly medical treatments, delicate surgeries, hopes pinned on the newest technologies, soaring expectations and plunging disappointments. "The couples' experiences allow the viewer to understand how infertility can easily take over people's lives; how both the condition and its treatment can result in emotional upheaval and isolation. However, for some, as it turns out, there is a baby's cry at the end of the tunnel. "We believe EXPECTING MIRACLES is worthy of a George Foster Peabody Award for its commitment to serve as a tool not only to relate to viewers, but also to provide information and understanding."--1988 Peabody Awards entry form.
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Producing Organization: KCET (Television station : Los Angeles, Calif.)
AAPB Contributor Holdings
The Walter J. Brown Media Archives & Peabody Awards Collection at the University of Georgia
Identifier: cpb-aacip-d6d64f27c00 (Filename)
Format: U-matic
Duration: 1:00:00
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Chicago: “KCET Journal; Expecting Miracles,” 1988, The Walter J. Brown Media Archives & Peabody Awards Collection at the University of Georgia, American Archive of Public Broadcasting (GBH and the Library of Congress), Boston, MA and Washington, DC, accessed June 26, 2022,
MLA: “KCET Journal; Expecting Miracles.” 1988. The Walter J. Brown Media Archives & Peabody Awards Collection at the University of Georgia, American Archive of Public Broadcasting (GBH and the Library of Congress), Boston, MA and Washington, DC. Web. June 26, 2022. <>.
APA: KCET Journal; Expecting Miracles. Boston, MA: The Walter J. Brown Media Archives & Peabody Awards Collection at the University of Georgia, American Archive of Public Broadcasting (GBH and the Library of Congress), Boston, MA and Washington, DC. Retrieved from