Fascinatin' Rhythm; Counting Down to the Millennium; Part 1

[ANNOUNCER]: National broadcast of Fascinatin' Rhythm is made possible by the members of WXXI FM Rochester, New York. [MUSIC] [MICHAEL LASSER]: This is Fascinatin' Rhythm, Songs from the Golden Age of American song. I'm Michael Lasser. This has been one of the most amazing centuries in the history of the world, as remarkable for its innovation and invention, for its capacity to fracture and redefine our perception of the world, As for the depth and banality of its horrors, it's not something to walk away from all at once. Yet this time, when we end a century, we also end a millennium, and after a century like this, we may need a millennium. We also need some time to get ready -- perhaps some aerobics or a trendy diet, perhaps a five year plan of restraint.

Unlikely, you say. Let me suggest instead then that we spend some time winding down from what we're finishing up, and preparing ourselves for what we probably can't do anything about anyway. So here's a selection of popular songs ranging from the cynical and sardonic to the soft hearted and sentimental. Some will make you laugh. Others will make you squirm. Still others may stir your heart. It's a pretty good mix, if I say so myself. So to start an hour of songs called Winding Down to the Millennium, here's the unavoidable truth. Say and do what you will. It's a song by the underrated team of John Kander and Fred Ebb. Sometimes things go well, sometimes they go badly. But the planet spins and the world goes round and round and round and round. This is Brenda Presley. Sometimes you're happy.

And sometimes you're sad, but the world goes round. Sometimes you lose every nickel you had, but the world goes round. Sometimes your dreams get broken in pieces, but that doesn't alter a thing. Take it from me, There's still gonna be a summer, a winter, a fall, and a spring. And sometimes a friend starts treating you bad. But the world Goes round, and sometimes your heart breaks with a

deafening sound. Somebody loses and somebody wins, and one day it's kicks, then it's kicks in the shins, but the planet spins and the world goes round, and round. The world goes round. The world goes round. Sometimes your dreams get broken in pieces, but that doesn't matter at all. Take it from me,

There's still gonna be a summer, a winter, a spring, and a fall. And sometimes a friend starts treating ya bad, but the world goes round. And sometimes your heart breaks with a deafening sound. Somebody loses and somebody wins, and one day it's kicks, then it's kicks in the shins, but the planet spins. And the world goes round and round and round and round and round. World goes round, and round and round and round.

[MICHAEL LASSER]: Brenda Pressley, "But the World Goes Round." Revolutions have come and gone. Rock and roll has come and stayed. And our own personal time passes. Our youthful dreams taught us we were fancy free. We grew up to know better. But that loss isn't necessarily bleak or barren. Being an adult has its compensations. Here's a look at history through two sets of eyes. Regina and Ian Whitcomb sing That's All History. [MUSIC] [IAN] The century's almost through. We've had World Wars One and Two. Revolutions have come, revolutions have gone, but rock and roll just won't say...adieu.

[REGINA]: We women have done our stuff. We've said when enough is enough. [REGINA AND IAN]: But now is the time to put into rhyme some thoughts about me and 'bout you. [REGINA]: I used to sit alone and cuddle my cat [REGINA AND IAN]: But that's all history. [REGINA]: I used to wonder where my hero was at [REGINA AND IAN]: But that's all history. [REGINA]: I used to sit and watch TV, believing I was fancy free [IAN]: Oh, you're making me cry. [REGINA]: Or else I'd go take a class, about Tiffany glass or Oriental therapy. [IAN]: Now listen to this... I used to treat them like a bimbo or broad, but that's all

history. I used to use them up until I got bored, but that's all history. [REGINA AND IAN]: Cause now we're married and we're settled down on Honeymoon Lane. [IAN]: She's not harried, She's not nettled, and we don't use cocaine. [REGINA]: We'll have some kids someday. [IAN]: And all I have to say is [REGINA AND IAN]: they'll make history. [REGINA]: I used to sit and watch TV, believing I was fancy free. Or else I'd go take a class about Tiffany glass or Oriental therapy. [IAN]: Well, I think that's best left alone, dear. I used to treat them like a bimbo or broad,

but that's all history. [REGINA]: I certainly hope so. [IAN]: I used to use them up until I got bored, but that's all history. [REGINA AND IAN]: Cause now we're married and we're settled down on Honeymoon Lane [IAN]: She's not harried, she's not nettled, and we don't use cocaine. [REGINA]: We'll have some kids some day [IAN]: and all I have to say is [REGINA AND IAN]: they'll make history. [MICHAEL LASSER]: Regina and Ian Whitcomb, "That's All History." It's OK to be nostalgic about your own memories, but to look back at the century and even at your own life can always use a touch of irony. A sardonic touch reminds us that memory chills as often as it warms. Consider lives that examine themselves and decide there's something missing -- maybe in me, maybe in life itself. In the century that sometimes defines itself more by personal anxiety than anything else, these songs strike a chord as we come to the end of what we know.

Karen Mason with "Colored Lights," and Joan Morris, "Is That All There Is?" [MUSIC] [KAREN MASON]: I was sitting on a sand dune in Santa Cruz or Monterey. And well, anyway. I could feel the trickle on my cheek of ocean spray. A perfect day. Well, anyway, I remember that I turned to Sam and said...or was it Fred? Well, anyway, I should be up and yet I'm down instead. Something's missing, Sam...something's missing, Fred, something's missing here. Where are my

Colored lights -- beads and bleachers and colored lights. Passings smiles, round and round, Thumping oom pah pah organ sound. Noisy boys, long and lean. Giggles of girls in the mezzanine. Filtered through colored lights. Gold and amber and green. I was sailing out of Long Beach on a Catamaran. Or fishing scow. Well, anyhow, I was leaning, chewing cashews off the starboard bow at sunset. Wow!

Well, anyhow, I remember telling Joey, God you're sweet. Or was it Pete? Well, anyhow. I wonder why I feel so incomplete, something's missing, Joe. Something's missing, Pete. Something's missing here. Where are my colored lights? Beads and bleachers and colored lights. Passing smiles round and round. Thumping oom pah pah organ sound. Noisy boys long and lean. Giggles of girls in the mezzanine. Filtered through colored lights. Gold and amber and green.

And I tried to find the answers in the friends I made. Or beds I shared. Well, anywhere. But with other people's music ringing in my ear. I couldn't sing. Well, anything. And I thought If I could just be 12 again. Or was it 10? Well, anyway. It seems to me I knew the secret then. It's so simple, 12. It's so simple, 10. It was simple then. Passing smiles round and round.Thumping oom

pah pah organ sound. Noisy boys, long and lean. Giggles of girls in the mezzanine. Filtered through colored lights. Red and orange and gold and amber and pink and yellow and green. Leaving home years ago. What was I looking for? I don't know. I can't recall. Well anyway. Soon I'll have

my days and nights, of wonderful, glimmering, beautiful, shimmering, colored lights! [JOAN MORRIS]: I remember when I was a very little girl. Our house caught on fire. I'll never forget the look on my father's face. As he gathered me up in his arms and raced through the burning building out onto the pavement. I stood there shivering in my pajamas and watched the whole world go up in flames. And when it was all over, I said to myself. Is that all there is to a fire? Is that all there is? Is that all there is? If that's all there is, my friends, then let's keep dancing,

Let's break out the booze and have a ball If that's all there is. And when I was 12 years old, my father took me to the circus, the greatest show on earth. There were clowns and elephants and dancing bears...and a beautiful lady in pink tights flew high above our heads. And as I sat there watching the marvelous spectacle, I had the feeling that something was missing. I don't know what, but when it was over, I said to myself, is that all there is to the circus? Is that all there is? Is that all there is? If that's all there is, my friends, then let's keep dancing. Let's break out the booze and have a

ball. If that's all there is. Then I fell in love, head over heels in love with the most wonderful boy in the world. We would take long walks by the river, or just sit for hours gazing into each other's eyes. We were so very much in love. Then one day, he went away -- and I thought I'd die. But I didn't. And when I didn't, I said to myself -- Is that all there is to love? Is that all there is? Is that all there is? If that's all there is, my friends, then let's keep -- I know what you must be saying to yourselves. "If that's the way she feels about it, why doesn't she just end it all?" Oh, no. Not me.

I'm in no hurry for that final disappointment, for I know just as well as I'm standing here talking to you, when that final moment comes, I'll be saying to myself -- Is that all there is? Is that all there is? If that's all there is, my friends, then Let's keep dancing...Let's break out the booze! And have a ball...if that's all there is. [MICHAEL LASSER]: Karen Mason with "Colored Lights," and Joan Morris, "Is That All There Is?" There are times when the feelings of emptiness turned into envy, and envy is a perfect emotion for comedy. I envy you, and you envy me,

And pretty soon everybody else is laughing. Here are two women who know each other very well. Naturally, each wants only what the other has. Envy blossoms. Brenda Pressley and Karen Mason with Kander and Ebb's, "The Grass Is Always Greener." [BRENDA PRESSLEY]: I'll bet your friends are all celebrities, that's wonderful. [KAREN MASON]: What's so wonderful? You can make a pot roast! That's wonderful! [PRESSLEY]: What's so wonderful? First, you brown an onion... Is your picture up at Sardi's? That's wonderful! [MASON]: What's so wonderful? You can clean an oven. That's wonderful!

[PRESSLEY]: What's so wonderful? First you get the Easy-Off... [PRESSLEY AND MASON]: Oh! The grass is always greener on somebody else's estate. Oh! The meat is always leaner on somebody else's dinner plate. [MASON]: But you can sew a button on. That's wonderful! [PRESSLEY]: What's so wonderful? Bet you go to discos... That's wonderful! [MASON]: What's so wonderful? First, you take a Valium... I can see you planning picnics. That's wonderful! [PRESSLEY]: What's so wonderful? Eating at the White House -- That's wonderful! [MASON]: What's so wonderful? Read my lips -- boring!

[PRESSLEY AND MASON]: Oh! The grass is always greener on somebody else's front lawn. Oh! Somebody else's weiner always has a lot more relish on! [PRESSLEY]:You saved the whales in Newfoundland -- That's wonderful! [MASON]: What's so wonderful? You can run a household. That's wonderful! [PRESSLEY]: What's so wonderful? First, you have a breakdown... You're always in the magazines -- That's wonderful! [MASON]: What's so wonderful? You can hold a husband. That's wonderful! [PRESSLEY]: What's so wonderful? There's more to life than husbands! [MASON]: I could use a husband...[PRESSLEY]: You can *have* My husband. [MASON]: I already had your husband...

[PRESSLEY AND MASON]: Oh! It make ya kinda teary. Oh! Think about it, deary. The grass is always greener In someone else's yard! It's hard! [MICHAEL LASSER]: Brenda Pressley and Karen Mason, "The Grass Is Always Greener." If there are times when you feel you haven't got enough, there are other times when you feel you've got too much. In a complicated, demanding world where assumptions crumble and verities vanish, it sometimes feels awfully tempting to toss everything over your shoulder and find a life that's simpler. Ian Whitcomb borrows a melody and a title from 1905, add some new words, and ends up with the genially satiric view of civilization as we know it. This is "Robinson Crusoe's Isle." [MUSIC] [IAN WHITCOMB]: It's a good many thousand miles, from here

to the South Sea isles, where the wild Fiji coast, a missionary with a face that is wreathed in smiles, 'twas there 'neath a banyan tree with the monkeys and chimpanzees, That Robinson Crusoe had such a time for he'd only himself to please. Robinson Crusoe lived alone -- no rent to pay and no telephone. No one to say when he came home, "Robinson Crusoe! What do you do so?" He wore the same clothes all the while -- a set of beads and a heavenly smile. They hardly ever changed the style on Robinson Crusoe's...Robinson Crusoe's isle.

There was nothing to do all day, but to float around in the bay. Then take tea in the trees with some young chimpanzees, who passed around pipes of clay. And that night on the golden sand, dear old Crusoe conducted a band, full Of cows mooing gladly and doves cooing sadly, and elephants clapping their hands. Robinson Crusoe lived so free, riding the dolphins in the sea. He liked to say as he made high tea, "No need to panic. All is organic." He wore the same clothes all the while -- a set of beads and a heavenly smile. They hardly ever changed the style, on Robinson Crusoe's...Robinson Crusoe's isle. On this tropical Shangri-La There was never a hint of car.

And air was so clear, you could look through your beer, and count freckles upon the North Star. But one day he was out on a stroll, and he happened upon a great hole, With a sign at the rear, saying early next year, this would be the Hotel Metropol. Robinson Crusoe sad at heart, knew it was time for him to part. 20th century, blew in the dock, would soon be ordering Crusoe, just what to, so -- he packed his things and sailed away, and he's been sailing since that day, wave after wave and mile on mile, from Robin Crusoe's...Robinson Crusoe's isle. [MICHAEL LASSER]: Ian Whitcomb, "Robinson Crusoe's Isle."

If beauty's in the eye of the beholder, then what's left to say about change? It's the one thing you can count on, and most of the time it's neither good nor bad. I could play you a dozen nostalgic songs about stuff that's gone that you liked, and I'd probably agree with you. But in a show anticipating a millennium, it's probably more to the point to think about change itself -- what it does to us and how we get on despite it. [MICHAEL LASSER]: This is Kaye Ballard with some rough-edged introspection entitled, "When?" [KAYE BALLARD]: When did I join the establishment? When, did I stop being bold? When, did my agents all get to be 19 years old? When did I last wear a negligee? When did Sinatra have hair?

When did this country stop caring what Vanna will wear? Things change -- Donald Trump used to own New York City. Styles change -- now the gowns of the '40s seem pretty. Cocaine has replaced marijuana, Monroe is reborn as Madonna, and now people say Cybill Shepherd can act. Is that a fact? When did people stop reading? When did rap replace song? When did taste start receding? When did Michael Jackson start to look so Anglo-Saxon? Things change. Our society still is evolving. Thank God they've made Anacin faster dissolving.

Each day we keep calorie counting, we pay, well, the deficit's mounting, and hey, Ma, the whole world still belongs to the men. Isn't it strange how some things still don't change? And when did each business executive find Reeboks go with a suit? When did Koreans discover fruit? When did we stop being civilized? When did sane merge with insane? When did they grant secret powers to Shirley MacLaine? Oh, if I could tamper with history, change every day of my life -- wait!

Would I do it all over again? You pick the time and the day and the place! I'll pack my voice (?unclear?), whether I win or fall flat on my face, I still revive at the thrill of the