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<v Speaker 1>This program was made possible by a grant from the 3M company <v Speaker 1>and was produced by KCET Los Angeles, which is solely responsible <v Speaker 1>for its content and method of presentation. <v Child 1>[Music playing in background] I think an old person should be 33 when <v Child 1>they're older. <v Child 2>When you're old, you don't have to work. <v Child 3>When you get old, you shrink. <v Child 4>I think that old people should be with young people. <v Child 5>When you're old, the government pays for everything. <v Child 6>When you're old, you could have grandchildren. <v Narrator>Wrinkles, Birthdays and Other Fables. <v Narrator>With your host, Flip Wilson.
<v Flip Wilson>You know, I once knew this guy, and every time we'd be on the elevator together and there <v Flip Wilson>were some old folks on the elevator, he'd hold his breath. <v Flip Wilson>I could tell he was holding his breath because he'd turned blue. <v Flip Wilson>[Laughter] Now, holding your breath in an elevator to me seemed pretty weird. <v Flip Wilson>Then he'd nudge me with his elbow and he'd whisper, "Hold your breath" One day as were <v Flip Wilson>getting off the elevator. I ask, why do you hold your breath in the elevator? <v Flip Wilson>He said, Because I don't want to catch it. <v Flip Wilson>Catch what? He said, old age. <v Flip Wilson>[Laughter] I said, look, buddy, don't look now, but <v Flip Wilson>I think it's gaining on you. [Laughter] You know what? <v Flip Wilson>It's gaining on all of us. And, well, that's what this show is about. <v Flip Wilson>Old age. The problem in our society today is you go to school, you learn <v Flip Wilson>reading, writing and arithmetic. The four most important things they don't teach you <v Flip Wilson>how to be married, how to raise children, how to make love, and how to grow <v Flip Wilson>old gracefully. Tonight, we're going to talk about how to be old. <v Flip Wilson>First thing you got to do is face it, it's fact and it's got to be faced.
<v Flip Wilson>I'm going to face it. I'm going to get old and I'm gonna love it. <v Virginia>What time will he be here? <v Carrington>I told you 11:30. That's just 5 minutes and they are always punctual. <v Virginia>Why are you whispering? <v Carrington>I always whisper when I'm doing something sneaky. <v Carrington>[Laughter] <v Virginia>What's so sneaky? It was your idea to invite your son and his wife down here to meet me. <v Virginia>So stop whispering. <v Carrington>I didn't tell Martin that you've been living with me for the past three months. <v Carrington>And that's sneaky. [Laughter] <v Virginia>Well, if you're going to tell your son about our relationship, why are we hiding it? <v Carrington>You don't know Martin. Trust me, it's best to take things in stages with Martin. <v Carrington>Let me put it this way for all of his bluster, Martin is not very sure of himself. <v Carrington>You can see he'll boom in here and tell me how great I look. <v Carrington>And then he'll ask with great concern, "How do you feel, Pop?" [Laughter]
<v Virginia>All right. But still, I think it would have been simpler by just gotten all my stuff over <v Virginia>to the storage room and that recreation hall. <v Virginia>Mr. Bemis has always been very sweet to me. <v Carrington>Mr. Bemis is a letch. <v Carrington>Besides, he had to just start the old gossips buzzing about how we'd broken up. <v Carrington>Do it my way. Just this once. <v Carrington>And don't call me Cane in front of Martin. <v Carrington>[Laughter] <v Virginia>I've always called you Cane. <v Virginia>Carrington is a ridiculous name <v Carrington>But Martin'll think we're awfully familiar if you call me Cane right off Virginia <v Virginia>Virginia? What became of your good ole bedmate, Ginny hmm? <v Virginia>[Laughter] <v Carrington>Just be Virginia until he gets used to the idea of our living together <v Carrington>out of wedlock. Then you can be Ginny, gradually <v Virginia>Alright Carrington [Laughter] <v Virginia>Here, tuck these in some place. <v Carrington>We don't have to hide the flowers. [Laughter] <v Virginia>You never had a bloom in the place till I came aboard. <v Carrington>That's true. <v Virginia>Ha ha. [Laughter] Now he'll smell a rat if it suddenly looks like a wedding reception.
<v Carrington>Well, we'll just tell him I have an admirer. <v Virginia>Oh wouldn't you... mwah. <v Carrington>Ginny, don't mention wedding. Martin likes to spring into action and he'll <v Carrington>have us in front of a justice of the peace before sundown if we give him a chance. <v Carrington>[Laughter] So don't. Or your widow's pension or fly right out the window. <v Carrington>[Laughter] Now, skedaddle out of here before they show up. <v Virginia>Aren't we being silly with all this pretense? <v Carrington>Please. Just do it. [Car honking] My way. [Laughter] Use the rear door. [Shuffling and door buzzer] Oh, <v Carrington>[Laughter] Mavis, so nice to see you. <v Martin>Hey, Pop. Oh, <v Martin>you look great. Doesn't he look great Mavis? <v Mavis>Oh, you look just great. [Laughter] And your place is just darling. <v Mavis>You've done wonders with it since you've moved in six months ago.
<v Martin>Yeah. I can tell that life here in Hemet really agrees with you, Pop. <v Martin>It sure does. [Laughter] How do you feel, Pop? <v Martin>[Laughter] <v Carrington>Fit as a fiddle. I find life here most agreeable. <v Carrington>Let me put it this way. Life in Sunny Slope Park is salubrious. <v Carrington>That's from a Latin word, salus, meaning. <v Pam>Hi, grandpa. <v Carrington>Oh, Pammy. Oh, how nice to see you. <v Pam>There was a lady peeking through the window at the back door. <v Pam>I think she was selling flowers, but she hurried away when she saw me. <v Pam>[Laughter] <v Carrington>Oh, that my m- uh, That's uh Mrs. Stokes. Well, <v Carrington>listen, I want to show you something. This is a new chair...[continues talking] <v Martin>See, you were dead wrong. <v Martin>He has no intention of moving back in with us. <v Martin>So will you just relax and let me handle it? <v Carrington>Oh, here, let me take that [Laughter] the closet it is a mess. <v Carrington>[Laughter] Sit down <v Martin>Hey, you know Pop what you've got us playing a lot of games there with that call of <v Martin>yours. Very mysterious. <v Martin>Mavis here thought that you might not be happy here in Hemlet and you might want to move
<v Martin>back in with us. But I told her that there was no way that you would do anything like <v Martin>that. Is there, Pop? <v Martin>[Laughter] <v Virginia>Good morning. <v Virginia>I just picked some fresh flowers. I thought they might brighten up your lu- Oh, <v Virginia>you have company. <v Virginia>This must be your family. <v Virginia>I'm a Carrington's friend, Virginia Stokes. <v Virginia>How do you do? And you must be Martin, his son. <v Virginia>You have your father's eyes. <v Virginia>You really has your eyes, there's no doubt about. <v Martin>Oh, this is my wife, Mavis. <v Mavis>How do you do? <v Martin>Carrington didn't tell me how pretty you are. And who might this be, this <v Martin>grown up young lady? Surely isn't Pam. <v Carrington>Yes, indeed. This is my granddaughter, Pammy. <v Virginia>Charming. <v Virginia>Oh, Cang. uh ?inuadible? <v Virginia>You haven't given your guests any refreshments. <v Virginia>I'm sure you'd like to have something after your long journey. <v Virginia>I can highly recommend Carrington's cream sherry.
<v Pam>Uh, Dad there's a coke machine at the recreation center. <v Pam>It's just down the street. Can I get one? <v Martin>No. Now you just sit down and behave like a lady. <v Martin>You don't have to have a coke every five minutes. <v Virginia>And here we are. <v Martin>Thank you. <v Carrington>Thank you, Mrs. Stokes. [Laughter] <v Pam>Thank you. <v Virginia>Cheers. <v Virginia>Well, have you told them? <v Martin>[With Mavis] Told us what? [Laughter] <v Carrington>Let me put it this way. It's been eight years since your mother passed away, Martin. <v Martin>Yeah, yeah, I know, Pop. <v Mavis>You must miss her terribly. <v Carrington>Very true. <v Carrington>But life goes on.
<v Carrington>I know, I know. <v Carrington>She would would have agreed with what I have to tell you. <v Carrington>That uh, Well, let me put it this way. <v Carrington>Life is for the living. <v Martin>Could you speak up a little? [Laughter] <v Carrington>What I'm tr- trying what I'm trying, what I'm trying to <v Carrington>say is that. Well. <v Carrington>Virginia and I have developed a meaningful relationship. <v Martin>A meaningful relationship? <v Martin>Poppy, you mean that you in Virginia are? [Laughter] <v Mavis>Ohhh <v Martin>Pop that's terrific. Isn't that terrific Mavis? I mean Pop and Virginia are. <v Martin>When's the big day, huh? Hey, we should have brought some champagne a little engagement <v Martin>party. <v Martin>Pop, you sneaky guy. <v Martin>We didn't know about this. <v Martin>Are you gonna be a June bride or can you wait that long? <v Virginia>We're not waiting at all
<v Martin>Yo- You're not waiting at all? <v Carrington>Well, let me put it this way, <v Carrington>Virginia's coming to live with me. Posthaste, you might say. <v Mavis>You mean you're not getting married? <v Carrington>Plenty advantages to not getting married. As a matter of fact, young people are doing it <v Carrington>all the time nowadays. <v Martin>Pam, why did you run down to the rec center and get yourself a Coke? <v Martin>[Laughter] <v Pam>Do I have to? <v Mavis>Do as your father says [Laughter] <v Martin>Here ya go. <v Martin>Pop. I don't mind telling you that. <v Martin>Mavis and I are shocked, very shocked. <v Martin>[Laughter] Now, we we think in a modern way and we've <v Martin>adjusted to the times. But but for you and Mrs. Stokes here to be living <v Martin>in naked sin, what kind of examples is that for young <v Martin>people?
<v Carrington>That aren't many young people around here. [Laughter] Let me put it this way. <v Carrington>I think the management of Sunny Slopes Park welcomes the idea. <v Carrington>You see, the sale of Ginny's mobile home to new people means more residents. <v Carrington>More residents mean more profits. <v Carrington>They encourage doubling up. [Laughter] <v Mavis>Doubling up? <v Martin>Well, why don't you get married? <v Carrington>Well, we're both kind of set in our ways and we thought we'd give it a spell <v Carrington>to see if we can adjust. Let me put it this way, economics. <v Carrington>You know, it's true. Two people can live cheaper than one. <v Carrington>I've been keeping careful track. The past three months. <v Carrington>And what with Ginny's pension, my Social Security, those old railroad bonds, <v Carrington>I think we can get along fine if the inflation doesn't get worse. <v Martin>Pop, you don't understand. <v Martin>It's a moral question. <v Carrington>Well, Martin, it isn't as if we were planning a family. <v Carrington>[Laughter] <v Martin>How can this be happening to me? <v Pam>Guess who I saw? <v Martin>The Hells Angels? [Laughter]
<v Pam>Remember, Mr. Armstrong, who used to be our bank manager? <v Mavis>Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Armstrong living down here? <v Pam>Mrs. Armstrong died. But Mr. Armstrong is living here with Mrs. Shanks, <v Pam>who used to be the vice principal at our school. <v Pam>[Laughter and applause] <v Interviewer>Who is the oldest person you know? <v Child 7>My grandma. <v Interviewer>Yeah. Do you know anything? Anything interesting about her? <v Interviewer>Is your- is she an old grandma? <v Interviewer>What? <v Child 7>She has wrinkles all over her. [Laughter] <v Interviewer>Is that how you can tell? <v Child 7>Yeah.
<v Speaker>[Song performance: When I'm Sixty-Four] [Applause] <v Flip Wilson>Oh, us, poor us. <v Flip Wilson>I've been learning some scary things that are happening to us. <v Flip Wilson>Did you know as we grow older, our lungs aren't as efficient, our kidneys <v Flip Wilson>are declining. Our muscles are shrinking. <v Flip Wilson>Our skins are drying out. Ew. [Laughter] Did you know that our brains <v Flip Wilson>are losing one hundred thousand cells a day that could make you lose your <v Flip Wilson>what do you call it? Ah, memory. <v Flip Wilson>But I hear that Michelangelo was working on the last judgment after he was 80. <v Flip Wilson>And Picasso kept right on enjoying his life until 90. <v Flip Wilson>De Gaulle didn't even begin to run France until he was 67.
<v Flip Wilson>Winston Churchill was retired at 64 and a hero at 66 <v Flip Wilson>after having lost all those brain cells, they were still too smart to give up. <v Flip Wilson>And you know something else? <v Flip Wilson>They still like girls. <v Granny>[Whimsical music playing] I don't care what you say, Emma. <v Granny>In Picasso's second period, the implosion was splintered and lost all its dynamic force. <v Emma>Now, that's just misinformed. <v Emma>During that period, he was clearly involved in the dynamics of cubism. <v Granny>Well, that's according to Phelps and the Saturday Review. <v Granny>But The Atlantic Monthly tells it different. <v Emma>Well, I know how we can solve this. We'll just go down to the museum and check it out. <v Emma>We'll do that tomorrow. <v Granny>Well, all right now, just let me check tomorrow.
<v Granny>Oh, no. Tomorrow's bad. <v Granny>I've got my psychology class in the morning. <v Emma>Oh, teaching or taking? <v Granny>Oh, this one I'm taking. And then at three o'clock, I'm teaching the pottery class. <v Granny>And then it's six. I've got the. Oh, um. <v Granny>No, no, no. Tomorrow's bad. <v Granny>How about Wednesday? <v Emma>Well, let me look at Wednesday. <v Emma>Oh, no, no. My goodness. <v Emma>Wednesday mornings, my exercise class. <v Emma>And then in the afternoon, I've got my piano lesson. <v Emma>No. Wednesday is definitely out. <v Granny>Well, we'll just have to wait till next week then. <v Emma>I guess so. <v Granny>Weren't we gonna paint today? <v Emma>Yes. You know, we were and then we got all caught up in the theory of dynamic <v Emma>interchange and we just frittered away the whole morning. <v Emma>[Laughter] <v Granny>Well, it's too late now. <v Emma>Why? <v Granny>Because Sarah Anne is coming. <v Emma>Oh, darn. Not again. <v Granny>Yeah. <v Emma>Have you told her about you and Fred yet? <v Granny>Well, no, of course not. <v Granny>I wouldn't want to upset her. <v Granny>She thinks I died from the waist down years ago.
<v Granny>[Laughter] <v Emma>That's the going propaganda, I guess <v Granny>Here we are living proof. <v Emma>Almost. [Laughter]Now, listen, you've <v Emma>got to tell her sometime. What if you and Fred want to get married? <v Granny>Well, now. Who's going to get married? <v Granny>One of us would lose our Social Security. [Laughter] The government pays you to commit <v Granny>adultery and then doesn't believe that you can do it. <v Granny>[Laughter] <v Emma>Well, I think you oughta tell her anyway. <v Granny>Well, you can't change people, you know that. <v Emma>No, I guess you're right. <v Emma>My goodness. I remember when I was 30, I was pretty set in my ways, too. <v Emma>I thought it was all going to add up to something if I followed all those rules <v Emma>that I'd finally get there. <v Granny>Yeah, and isn't it wonderful to find out that if you don't follow any of the rules you <v Granny>finally get, they are only the trips a lot more pleasant? <v Granny>[Laughter] [Doorbell]No laughing, that's <v Granny>her. Now, she'll just get very depressed if she thinks were happy, come on. <v Emma>Stop that. Are you going to make me hide in the kitchen again?
<v Granny>Unless you can keep your mouth shut. <v Emma>But there's nothing to read in there. <v Granny>Which I wouldn't expect you to do. [Laughter] <v Emma>You're not going to do that old number. <v Granny>Shut up or I'll kill ya. [Laughter] <v Sarah Anne>Oh, granny. <v Granny>Sarah Anne <v Sarah Anne>How are you feeling? <v Granny>I feel fine, just fine. <v Sarah Anne>Now, Granny, this is Sarah Anne you can tell me. <v Granny>I feel fine. <v Sarah Anne>Oh, come on, you are so proud. <v Sarah Anne>Admit it. <v Granny>I feel terrible. <v Sarah Anne>I knew it. <v Granny>I knew you did. <v Emma>Liar <v Granny>You shut up. Sh Sh Sh <v Sarah Anne>What dear? <v Granny>Oh, God. I was just brushing away the flies. <v Granny>Shush shush shush
<v Sarah Anne>Well, you come right over here. I brought you something to cheer you up. <v Granny>Oh, how nice. Oh, for heaven's sakes. <v Granny>What is it? <v Sarah Anne>Well, they're extra strength support hose to give those tired old legs <v Sarah Anne>a rest. <v Granny>Oh, how nice. <v Granny>Excuse me a minute, dear. I just want to check on some cookies that I'm baking for you. <v Sarah Anne>Oh, now, you didn't have to do that. <v Granny>I told you to keep your mouth shut <v Emma>Well I can't stand it. You're an Uncle Tom, a grey Uncle Tom. <v Granny>That's the way she wants it. Now listen, you go get those cookies I told you to pick up, <v Granny>put them in the oven, break a few and then wrap them in that old wax paper. <v Sarah Anne> How are you getting along here, dear? <v Granny>Well, I'm just fine here. Just fine. <v Sarah Anne>Are you, dear? Really? <v Granny>Yeah, I'm fine. <v Sarah Anne> You can tell me. <v Granny>Well, it's lonely. <v Granny>I'm very old. <v Sarah Anne>I knew it. [Laughter] <v Granny>I knew you did. <v Sarah Anne>Is your new TV working? <v Granny>Well, I think so. Of course I haven't used it very much.
<v Sarah Anne>Well, why not? <v Granny>Well, I've been busy. <v Sarah Anne>Busy? Come on. <v Granny>Eyes bad. Very very bad. [Laughter] My eyes <v Sarah Anne>Which reminds me, I brought you some eyedrops. <v Granny>Oh, how nice. Well, why don't you just put them right here in my hand where I can find <v Granny>em. <v Granny>[Gasps and yawns] <v Sarah Anne>Oh, you poor dear. <v Sarah Anne>Our little visitors just warn you. <v Granny>Well, yes, I usually take a two hour nap <v Emma>From three to five. [Laughter] <v Granny>If you'll excuse me, my dear. I just want to see if the cookies are done. <v Granny>?inaudible? <v Emma>You are a disgrace to your age, you are a wrinkle phony. <v Granny>I am telling you, it's what she what she wants me to be a traditional ole granny. <v Emma>Stop, I don't believe that. <v Granny>Oh w- Give me those cookies. Watch this. <v Granny>Here are your cookies, dear. <v Sarah Anne>Oh, now, Granny, you shouldn't have gone to so much trouble. <v Granny>Well, it wasn't any trouble. <v Sarah Anne>Now tell me, is there anything else that you need or want that I could bring you?
<v Granny>Some burnt umber 24. <v Sarah Anne>Is that a medicine? <v Sarah Anne>[Laughter] <v Granny>It's a paint color. I've been doing a lot of painting lately between working at the <v Granny>clinic and teaching at the Y <v Sarah Anne>Now Granny, are you sure you're feeling all right? <v Granny>I'm fine. I'm just very busy right now. <v Granny>Oh, well, would you be interested in a lecture series at the Y? <v Sarah Anne>Well, darling, I would, of course I would. <v Sarah Anne>Maybe some other time. <v Sarah Anne>Have you been having dizzy spells, Granny? <v Sarah Anne>How's your blood pressure? I know what I'll do. <v Sarah Anne>I'll I'll get Dr. Fletcher to come by and see you. <v Granny>Oh, you think he might be interested in the lecture series? <v Sarah Anne>Have a nice nap, dear. <v Granny>Goodbye, Sarah Anne. OK, Emma? <v Granny>Are you satisfied? <v Emma>Well, I admit it. You've proved it. <v Emma>And she took up half our afternoon with that dribble <v Granny>Cut right into our naps <v Emma>You know something? I don't feel right about this.
<v Granny>About what? Hey B- Hey, Barbara, come on. <v Granny>Well, they're shooting here. <v Emma>Yeah, I know. I know. But it just doesn't seem right to me. <v Emma>That's all. <v Granny>Well c- Yeah, but couldn't we talk about it and, I mean, couldn't we finish the scene and <v Granny>then we could talk about? <v Emma>Do you know, what we've done? We've just arbitrarily decided what it's like to be old. <v Emma>I mean, we have no idea what it's really like. <v Granny>I know. But, boy, I really like the idea of portraying the ladies that way. <v Granny>I mean, it was so much better than doing the old, helpless, feeble old woman cliche. <v Emma>Yeah, I know. But that it's our idea. <v Emma>I mean, it's the way we'd like it to be. <v Granny>Certainly the way I would like it to be still be interested in things and have a sense of <v Granny>humor. <v Emma>I know I would, too. And I love the idea of just really <v Emma>being alive. I mean, it's as alive as you can be for as long as you're alive. <v Emma>I'd like to think that's possible. <v Granny>I have to think it's possible. <v Emma>OK. We will think it's possible, at least for now. <v Emma>[Laughter] <v Granny>Alright it's a deal <v Emma>I'll talk to you in 40 years. [Laughter] <v Granny>Well I certainly hope so
<v Emma>Come on, you cranky old fool. Don't know when it's time to get off. <v Granny>[Singing with Emma, music playing in background] Oh, we're so glad that we're not young <v Granny>anymore. [Laughter and applause] <v Interviewer>Would you like to be a hundred? <v Child 8>No <v Interviewer>Why would you want to be a hundred? <v Child 8>Because <v Child 8>then you don't get to play toys. <v Doctor>[Knocking] Come in. Oh come in, sit down I'll be with you in a minute
<v Patient>I'm going to die. I'm going to die. <v Patient>Can I use your ashtray? <v Doctor>I don't have one. <v Patient>That's all right, I'll use the floor. <v Doctor>What's the matter? <v Patient>I don't want to talk about it. <v Doctor>OK, we won't. <v Doctor>What aren't we talking about? <v Patient>Old age, I'm getting old. <v Patient>My face is falling. <v Patient>I'm going to die. <v Doctor>That's true. <v Patient>My face is falling? <v Doctor>No, but you're going to die eventually. <v Patient>Well, I don't like that. <v Doctor>Neither do I. But that's the way it is. <v Patient>But can't you stop it or at least slow it down? <v Doctor>You can slow it down, but you don't want to. <v Patient>Yes, I do. I want to. <v Patient>I guess this will have to go. <v Doctor>It should have a long time ago. <v Patient>Oh, does it really matter? <v Doctor>Yep. <v Patient>But stopping smoking is boring. <v Doctor>Being dead is boring too. <v Patient>But to stop aging, I mean, there must be things you can do.
<v Patient>I mean, pills you can take or injections. <v Doctor>We're working on that. But unfortunately, money for research is slow coming in. <v Doctor>And as soon as we have something why, you'll be the second to know. <v Patient>But there is nothing now I can take to stop it? <v Doctor>Nope. <v Patient>Darn. <v Doctor>You're ready to listen now? Because it's not up to me. <v Doctor>It's up to you. <v Doctor>Now, there is something you can do, if you will believe me. <v Doctor>I can tell you what you can do in two minutes. <v Doctor>If you listen very closely, maybe even take notes. <v Doctor>In two minutes, I can give you all the magic that we have. <v Doctor>And it really works. <v Doctor>Now, is it worth two minutes to you? <v Doctor>Now, the idea isn't to get younger. <v Doctor>The idea is to get old as long as you can and enjoy <v Doctor>it. Every expert agrees that if you eat right, relax <v Doctor>and exercise, you can do something about how you age.
<v Doctor>So let's take it in three steps. <v Doctor>Exercise. Why? <v Doctor>39 percent of deaths are caused by heart attacks. <v Doctor>Three times as many heart attacks happened to sedentary persons. <v Doctor>Survival is four times greater for those who exercise regularly. <v Doctor>The chance of a stroke is decreased. By exercising, the general youthful <v Doctor>tone of the body is preserved. <v Doctor>How? Or some kind of rhythmical exercise, such as jogging, <v Doctor>swimming or bicycling done consistently. <v Doctor>Now, the first sensible thing you've done is check with your doctor to see what <v Doctor>suggestions I can make for an exercise program specifically suited for you. <v Doctor>And when I do follow it. <v Doctor>Eat properly. Why? <v Doctor>Because high cholesterol contributes to heart attack and stroke. <v Doctor>Two thirds of the new cases of coronary heart disease develop among those who have high
<v Doctor>cholesterol levels or high blood pressure. <v Doctor>Why eat properly? To protect yourself against the very real possibility of <v Doctor>for example, diabetes, a major killer among the aged. <v Doctor>You know how to eat properly. <v Doctor>A well-balanced diet. <v Doctor>Fresh vegetables, fresh fruit, concentrate on lean meats, <v Doctor>fish, chicken, protein. <v Doctor>Avoid saturated fat like the plague. <v Doctor>And that's for sugar give up once and for all, your favorite dessert. <v Doctor>Eat cantaloupe instead of cookies. <v Doctor>Don't overeat. You need less calories as you get older and those <v Doctor>extra calories will kill you. <v Doctor>That doesn't mean starve yourself. <v Doctor>For some people, it's sensible to eat five meals a day instead of three, but make them <v Doctor>five little meals filled with a variety of healthy foods.
<v Doctor>About stress. <v Doctor>Understand what causes it and learn to cope with it directly and simply <v Doctor>because stress causes high blood pressure and in general wears out the body <v Doctor>and makes it harder to get well if you get sick. <v Doctor>How do you cope with stress? <v Doctor>Don't take life so seriously. <v Doctor>The more you worry about it, the less of it you'll have to worry about. <v Doctor>Remember last week when you were so upset because dinner was 20 minutes late? <v Doctor>Remember? <v Doctor>You don't remember? <v Doctor>See, it wasn't that important, was it? <v Doctor>Well. <v Patient>That's it? <v Doctor>That's it. <v Patient>That's not what I expected. I mean, that's too hard. <v Doctor>Too bad. <v Doctor>It's the only magic we have. And it really works. <v Patient>Well, what about my butter crinkled sugar toffee mocha cake with the hot <v Patient>fudge sauce? Just this once? <v Doctor>Sure. Eat it.
<v Doctor>It's your life. <v Doctor>Or not. <v Flip Wilson>Oh, they you are. Your eyes are just starting to go on me and keep what he said in mind. <v Flip Wilson>I believe him. And I don't like him. [Laughter] Did you ever hear about people call the <v Flip Wilson>hunters? Many lived to be over a hundred. <v Flip Wilson>The ones that lived. You know why? <v Flip Wilson>Because their lifestyle demands that they climb up and down hills every day. <v Flip Wilson>The eat very little animal fat. Less than twelve hundred calories a day. <v Flip Wilson>And they have to scratch for a living from the soil by hard physical labor. <v Flip Wilson>And then there's the village of Vilcabamba. <v Flip Wilson>And the people who live in the Caucasuses in Russia. <v Flip Wilson>They all live to be over a hundred. <v Flip Wilson>And they do the same things as the hunters. <v Flip Wilson>You know what? I don't think they'd live to be 100. <v Flip Wilson>The way they live. They just look like they're a hundred. <v Flip Wilson>[Laughter] The thing that amazes me is. <v Flip Wilson>They still like girls [Laughter]
<v Dave>Hey Myrna this clam dip is great. What do you call it? <v Myrna>Hot chili, con chili. <v Myrna>Hey, hey save some for the party, <v Dave>Since when are Dick and Patty a party? <v Myrna>Oh, I invited the Browns, you know, the new couple who moved in down the block? <v Dave>The Browns? <v Myrna>Yeah. <v Dave>Are you crazy? You know Dick feels about them. <v Dave>They're old. <v Myrna>But Dave, integrated parties are so chic. <v Myrna>Remember last year we invited the Lopezs and the year before that, the Washingtons and <v Myrna>the year before that, the Cohens. Well, this year old people are the in thing. <v Myrna>[Laughter] <v Dave>Not to Dick. He's a nut when it comes to them. <v Dave>What if he starts a fight? <v Myrna>Oh, he won't. <v Dave>Well, I guess it's up to us to make sure it doesn't happen. <v Dave>[Door bell] <v Myrna>Oh, I'm sure we can. <v Dave>Well, don't worry, Myrna. I think he's got enough good sense not to say anything. <v Myrna>Oh, I hope so. Hi [Talking over each other] <v Dave>How are you? How are you? Good to see you. <v Myrna>Hi. Oh, hi. <v Dick>Hey uh Dave. Guess what I just saw hobbling down the street?
<v Dick>A pair of your Geritol generation looks like the golden oldies are taking <v Dick>over the neighborhood. <v Dick>Hey, you hear the latest oldest joke? <v Patty>Well, it doesn't matter, you're going to. <v Dick>What has an IQ of 180? <v Dick>Give up? 3 60 year-olds [Laughs]. <v Dick>Hey You gonna offer me a drink. <v Dave>Yeah. What do you have? <v Dick>Anything but an old fashioned, <v Dave>Look uh, Dick. Those people that you saw walking down the street were the Browns. <v Dave>And they're on their way here. <v Dave>And I would appreciate it very much if you wouldn't say anything to them about old <v Dave>age. <v Dick>No, don't worry. I won't say a thing. <v Dick>Besides, by the time they get here, at the rate they're walking, I'll be gone. <v Dick>That's what I mean. [Doorbell] ?inaudible? <v Dave>[Talking over each other] Hello, Hello. <v George>Hello. I'm George and this is Martha. <v Dave>Yes, I know. I'm Dave. And this is, you know, Myrna
<v George>How are you, dear? [Talking over each other] <v Dave>And these are our friends, Dick and Patty Young. <v Patty>How do you do? <v George>How are you? <v Dick>Yeah <v Dave>Ah well, can I get you something? <v Martha> I'd like [interrupted. <v Dick>Why don't you get him some nice warm milk. <v Dick>The love warm milk [Laughter] <v Martha>I'd like a scotch on the rocks, please. <v George>I'll have the same with the lemon twist in it. <v Dick>I can't stand an old drunk. [Laughter] <v Myrna>Oh, you know what I just love about you people? <v Myrna>You make wonderful grandparents [Laughter] <v Myrna>and we just adore your ?inaudible? <v George>He died. [Laughter] People do that a lot. <v Myrna>Isn't anyone going to have my dip? <v Dick>Oh, I don't mind if I do. <v Dick>You better tell them what's in it first. <v Dick>We don't want them breaking any special dietary laws. <v Dick>[Laughter] <v Martha>Mmmm, chili sauce, chili pepper, <v Martha>onions and green peppers and chili peppers [Laughter] <v Dick>Sour cream? <v Martha>And sour cream. <v Myrna>How did you know that?
<v Martha>Oh, I make it myself and George all the time. <v Martha>Except when there's only the two of us. I put Tabasco in it. <v George>The trouble with some people is, they don't act their age. <v Dave>Dick, could I have a word with you for a second? <v Martha>Well, perhaps we'd better go. <v Myrna>Oh, no. <v Dave>What's happened to you? You used to just be unreasonable. <v Dave>Now you're a ?inaudible? [Laughter] <v Dick>What do you mean by that? I told you, I'm the same as I ever was. <v Patty>Now, Dick, if you don't tell them what's wrong, I will. <v Dick>Oh, no, don't. Patty, uh. <v Dave>Oh, come on, Dick. You can tell me. I'm your friend. <v Dick>You know what my company just did? <v Dick>They've pushed the retirement age down to 55. <v Dave>Well, that's ridiculous. <v Dick>I know, that only gives me nine more years. <v Dick>They're putting me out to pasture and I'm only 46. <v Dick>[Laughter]
<v Dave>That still gives you 9 more years. That's a long time. <v Dave>And after that, you can do something else. <v Dick>Yeah, I can? <v Dave>Of course, people do it all the time, you know. <v Dave>I mean, isn't there something else you you've always wanted to do? <v Dick>Well, yeah there's. <v Dave>And what is it? <v Dick>You'd laugh <v Dave>No, no, I won't, I promise. What is it? <v Dick>Ballroom dancing. [Laughter] <v Dave>Well, there aren't too many ballroom's left, Dick. <v Dave>But that's what I really want to do. <v George>Then you go right ahead and become a ballroom dancer. <v George>I did. <v Dick>You think I could? <v George>Aw, do it, son. Just because your company is foolish enough to cut <v George>you down in your prime. That's no reason for you to give up. <v Dick>Ah, well, I. Well, you're alright, For an old person. <v George>Thank you, Son. You know, that's a real compliment coming from you. <v George>[Laughter] <v Myrna>More dip? <v Dick>Oh, no, that's too hot for me. But give some to George and Martha than they can handle it <v Dick>better. [Laughter] Can I talk to you for a minute?
<v George>Of course <v Dick>It's just something personal. <v Dick>Well, do you really? And I mean, is it true? <v Dick>Well, what I mean, look, is there really sex after 60? <v Martha>Now, did you hear the question that he asked of me? <v Martha>They seemed to have a most familiar ring, if you ask <v Martha>me. So very, very clear to see. <v Martha>He seem to be concerned with just one thing. <v George>[Singing in unison with Martha, music playing in background] Do we? Do we? <v George>That's why you want to know isn't it? <v George>Do we? Do we? That's what <v George>disturbs you so, isn't it? <v George>You sit there wondering.
<v George>Ooohoo what are those two all about? Do we? That's for us to know and you to find out. <v Martha>[Singing] He looks ancient chewing his ?Gelacel?, doesn't he? <v Martha>[Laughter] <v George>[Singing] She was famous nursing at Bunker Hill, <v George>wasn't she? [Laughter] <v Martha>[Singing in unison with George] You sit there wondering if we really ring <v Martha>that bell Do we? <v Martha>Eat your heart out, kids. Cause we'll never tell. <v Martha>[Tango music playing] <v Martha>Would they? <v George>Could they?
<v George>[Applause] [Singing] Well sir, there are certain things that we'll never tell. <v George>Do <v George>we? Do we? <v George>Doesn't that make this turn <v Martha>Interesting? <v George>With no ?towel? <v George>How does the candle burn? <v Martha>Interesting. [Singing in unison with George] Do his pajama tops compliment her <v Martha>negligee. Well, sir there are certain things. <v Martha>Well, miss there are private things <v George>Well son, there are personal things that a lady and a gentleman <v Martha>That a lady and a gentleman <v George>[in unison with Martha] won't say. [Applause]
<v Flip Wilson>Oldsters of the world. You're not. <v Flip Wilson>Gray is beautiful. <v Flip Wilson>Did you know that one out of every 10 Americans is over 65? <v Flip Wilson>And that they accounted for 12 million votes last year? <v Flip Wilson>How could they find the time to vote between their hobbies, social affairs, jogging, <v Flip Wilson>naps? [Laughter] Friends, great power means getting together with <v Flip Wilson>your friends and talking about what you don't like in your life and what you can <v Flip Wilson>do about it. Great power means writing to your Congressman, Senator, <v Flip Wilson>and asking him for the things that you need. <v Flip Wilson>Letting him know that you're there alive and kicking. <v Flip Wilson>Slowly maybe, but kicking and voting. <v Flip Wilson>And let him know that you won't rest content in these skinny arms of Social Security. <v Flip Wilson>Try to find out what Ralph Nader is trying to do and see if you can help out. <v Flip Wilson>Gray power means insisting on car fare or transportation, <v Flip Wilson>insisting on doctors who care. <v Flip Wilson>And don't be frightened by those people who tell you you'll spend your life as a
<v Flip Wilson>vegetable. Only 5 percent of the elderly population is in institutions. <v Flip Wilson>That means 95 percent of y'all on the street. <v Flip Wilson>[Laughter] Grey power is the power in you, individually <v Flip Wilson>and together to insist that your life can be better. <v Flip Wilson>So make your life fun and fulfilling. <v Flip Wilson>Don't be fooled by all those magazines and movies and songs. <v Flip Wilson>Just because there's snow on the roof doesn't mean there's no fire in the furnace. <v Flip Wilson>Friends. Gray is beautiful. <v Flip Wilson>Wrinkles are beautiful. Life is beautiful. <v Flip Wilson>And girls, are beautiful. [Laughter] <v Narrator 2>[Music playing] Sometimes young and middle aged couples think they are the only ones who <v Narrator 2>have marital problems. It's believed that after a married couple have lived together for <v Narrator 2>40 or 50 years, their marriage is probably settled down. <v Narrator 2>There are no more major adjustments to be made in such a long standing marriage.
<v Narrator 2>However, that is not always the case. <v Counselor>Well, I'm sure that if the two of you need any marriage counseling at all, <v Counselor>it'll be a minor one. <v Counselor>Oh, my secretary tells me that in three days you'll be celebrating your diamond wedding <v Counselor>anniversary. Isn't that wonderful? <v Counselor>Married. 75 years. <v Ruth>Now, we'd have gotten a Mexican divorce years ago, but we were both afraid <v Ruth>to fly. [Laughter] <v Counselor>Let's let's not exaggerate. <v Counselor>I mean, after all, you must have been fairly happy together. <v Henry> Hmm. You know why I've stayed married to her all these <v Henry>years? Just to frustrate her. <v Henry>That's why For 75 years, she's just been looking for <v Henry>a chance to toss me aside so she can marry her grade school <v Henry>sweetie. [Laughter] <v Ruth>How many times do I have to tell you I haven't thought of him in 76 <v Ruth>years. <v Henry>Pretty clever, isn't she? [Laughter] For 75 years, she's been
<v Henry>completely faithful to me, trying to lull me into <v Henry>trusting her. [Laughter] Well, don't you count on it, baby, I'm on to you <v Henry>and don't you forget it. <v Henry>You and your long false gray eyelashes. <v Henry>[Laughter] <v Ruth>And, man, I want a divorce. <v Ruth>Do you hear me? I want a divorce. <v Ruth>I don't want any alimony and I want custody of our three children. <v Counselor>But your children are all in their 70s. <v Ruth>Well, they're in their early 70s. <v Ruth>[Laughter] Besides, they're my children. <v Henry>You hear that? You hear what she said. They're her children. <v Henry>She never let me be a father to them. <v Henry>They were always her children. <v Henry>I am just a stud. <v Henry>[Laughter] Well, you can have the children. <v Henry>I never did like their looks anyway. <v Henry>They say babies look kind of funny when they're first born. <v Henry>Well, our dummies have looked funny for 70 years [Laughter] especially <v Henry>that idiot who keeps licking his teeth all the time.
<v Ruth>Stop picking on Harry. Harry, he's been good to you all of his 71 years. <v Henry>Of course he's been good to me, cause he's scared of me that's why. <v Henry>I told him that one day I was going to give him the spanking <v Henry>in his life. <v Henry>And for 65 years now, he's never been quite sure <v Henry>when it's coming. [Laughter]Harry is nothing <v Henry>but a full-denture-wearing scaredy cat. <v Henry>[Laughter] <v Ruth>Man, I don't want a divorce on grounds of incompatibility or anything soft like that. <v Ruth>I want a divorce on the grounds of pure hatred. <v Ruth>[Laughter] <v Counselor>I'm afraid there are no legal grounds for divorce, on pure hatred. <v Ruth>Well, there ought to be. I don't think we're living in a civilized country until we can <v Ruth>walk into a divorce court and say under oath, I hate his <v Ruth>guts, I hate her guts, or if it's a bigamist, I <v Ruth>hate their guts. [Laughter] That's for 76
<v Ruth>years. Even when you were away at war fighting for our country and our <v Ruth>flag, I've hated your guts. <v Ruth>[Laughter] But <v Ruth>we did have some good times, didn't we? <v Ruth>Hmm? <v Henry>Yes, we did. We did have some good times <v Ruth>Well, I hated your guts through those good times too. <v Ruth>[Laughter] Now what do you think of that, buster? <v Henry>Man, you're a marriage counselor, you ought to know a lot about marriages. <v Henry>So I'd like to ask you a question that's been bothering me for a long <v Henry>time. <v Counselor>Well, go right ahead. Ask me the question. <v Henry>I married this woman 75 years ago. <v Henry>And I've spent 75 years of my life with <v Henry>her.
<v Henry>And my question is why? <v Henry>[Laughter] <v Counselor>I'm <v Counselor>afraid you'll have to answer that question yourself. <v Henry>Well, I guess I married her for the <v Henry>same reason we all married our wives. <v Henry>Cause I wanted to spend the rest of my life with the woman that I respected, <v Henry>admired and loved. <v Henry>And she wouldn't have made sure I married her. <v Henry>[Laughter] <v Ruth>And the one I wanted didn't want me, so I married him. <v Henry>So now it comes out. <v Henry>Who was it that wouldn't have huh? Who [interupting each other] <v Ruth>Alright, alright, I'll tell you who it was. Oh, it was. It was. It was uh, uh. <v Ruth>Oh, I forgot. [Laughter] Well, who was it that you wanted instead <v Ruth>of me? <v Henry>It was the greatest woman I ever met in my
<v Henry>life. <v Ruth>Oh, it was. Well. Oh, who was that? Who was that? <v Henry>Oh, I'll tell you who it was, it was. <v Henry>I can't remember her name. [Laughter] <v Ruth>Come on, Henry. <v Ruth>Let's go home. <v Ruth>Come on. Come on. <v Henry>I can't understand how I could forget her name. <v Henry>Oh, well, it'll come back to me- Ruth. <v Henry>I think it was Ruth. <v Ruth>Henry, I'm Ruth. <v Henry>Maybe it was you [Laughter] <v Ruth>Oh, dear come on. [Music playing and applause]
<v Interviewer>What do old people do? <v Child 9>They work <v Interviewer>No, when theyre real old. A- <v Child 9>They die <v Interviewer>No, before they die and after they finish working, what do old people do? <v Child 9>They stay home. <v Interviewer>And? <v Child 9>They don't anything. They ju- They just sit down and watch TV. [Laughter] <v Lawyer>Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. <v Lawyer>I would like to discuss the pathetic situation my <v Lawyer>client finds himself in today and perhaps. <v Lawyer>Help you to understand and excuse him. <v Lawyer>Now, here is a person who was living in a single <v Lawyer>room in an unpleasant and even hostile neighborhood. <v Lawyer>He has no radio, television, no money for transportation, so he can't even <v Lawyer>take a ride to see a friend or visit a free park. <v Lawyer>His meals, now get this, his meals consist
<v Lawyer>of dog food, literally. <v Lawyer>I mean that literally. <v Lawyer>That's a researched fact. <v Lawyer>People in this country today are eating dog food. <v Lawyer>And if, God forbid, his rent is raised by as little as five dollars, <v Lawyer>he must move to some cheaper place. <v Lawyer>Now what is his crime? <v Lawyer>What has he done to come to this? <v Lawyer>Ladies and gentlemen, his crime is old age. <v Lawyer>How much more of this kind of time are you going to sentence my client to? <v Lawyer>Hasn't he suffered enough? Yes, it's true he could've have ?saved through? <v Lawyer>his old age. But a mitigating circumstance might be <v Lawyer>a struggle to raise a family. <v Lawyer>Support them throughout a lifetime of moderate paying jobs. <v Lawyer>And yes, it's true, his family could probably support him now. <v Lawyer>But in this unique society that we live in, they may not be living anyplace
<v Lawyer>near enough to know. <v Lawyer>They may not even care about his situation. <v Lawyer>Perhaps one day they'll inherit his place in the park bench. <v Lawyer>What about his pension? <v Lawyer>Well, perhaps he had a pension and perhaps he was one of the many who suddenly, after 15 <v Lawyer>years in one job, had to take another job only to <v Lawyer>learn that his pension didn't follow pension sometimes are not transferable. <v Lawyer>So now he watches the time go by on a gold plated watc they gave him and he wishes. <v Lawyer>How he wishes sometimes that he could eat the watch, it'd be a nice change <v Lawyer>from the dog food. <v Lawyer>What about his backache? <v Lawyer>And his kidney problems? And his heart disease, not fatal, just chronic. <v Lawyer>Ladies and gentlemen, my client is old. <v Lawyer>He's gonna die. <v Lawyer>My esteemed opponent scream Social Security. <v Lawyer>Yeah, but you all know, because you've heard it 100 times, that the rise in Social
<v Lawyer>Security benefits does not match the rise in the cost of living. <v Lawyer>The same is true, of course, with medical care for the aged. <v Lawyer>Now, don't. Please don't misunderstand me. <v Lawyer>My client does stand guilty of one of the charges. <v Lawyer>And for that, he finds himself sentence to this dismal life. <v Lawyer>He was apathetic when he was a young man. <v Lawyer>He refused to face the idea that one day he was going to be old. <v Lawyer>He didn't say to himself, how would I like to spend Saturday night when I'm 72 years <v Lawyer>old? He didn't check out his pension plan and he didn't insist on legislation <v Lawyer>to insure, insure money and health care for his <v Lawyer>old age. Problem is too big, it's too <v Lawyer>overwhelming. And he didn't want to be bothered. <v Lawyer>He didn't even know how to be bothered. <v Lawyer>Yes, he was apathetic and irresponsible. <v Lawyer>But can't we learn? <v Lawyer>From his mistakes and in the process, perhaps
<v Lawyer>forgive him maybe even take care of him. <v Lawyer>Can we help him maybe face this new situation that we perhaps might <v Lawyer>face ourselves in the future? <v Lawyer>We live in a culture that doesn't admit there is an old age. <v Lawyer>Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. <v Lawyer>Forgive him his apathy. <v Lawyer>Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. <v Lawyer>Ladies and gentlemen of. [Music playing] <v Flip Wilson>[Music playing in the background] You know, that really gives you something to think about. Generally, we sleep the first 50 years of life away, <v Flip Wilson>looking out for yourself is not a new idea. 60 years ago, it was Bert Willaims who said.
<v Flip Wilson>[Song: Nobody]
<v Flip Wilson>[Applause] Scientist friends are trying to discover what causes aging and hopefully <v Flip Wilson>to prevent it. Right now, there are only two people who can do something about it. <v Flip Wilson>You and me. <v Flip Wilson>And if we do, life will be good to the last drop and that last <v Flip Wilson>drop of a good to. <v Flip Wilson>Goodnight, y'all. [Applause and music playing]
Wrinkles, Birthdays, & Other Fables
Producing Organization
KCET (Television station : Los Angeles, Calif.)
Contributing Organization
The Walter J. Brown Media Archives & Peabody Awards Collection at the University of Georgia (Athens, Georgia)
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Program Description
"WRINKLES, BIRTHDAYS & OTHER FABLES uses an upbeat comedy-variety format to comment on aging. Designed to capture the 35-55 year old audience as well as the elderly, it points out that all of us, if we are lucky, are going to get old. Crumbling some of the myths and stereotypes of old age, it substitutes a more positive and realistic approach to aging. It alerts the viewers to immediate actions they can take to make their later years [healthier], happier and more secure."--1973 Peabody Awards entry form. The program, hosted by Flip Wilson, features various comedy sketches, interviews, performances, and general life advice from Wilson himself. Sketches include a family coming to terms with their father, recently moved to a senior community, moving in with his girlfriend without getting married; two senior women discussing their dating life and sharing that with their family, culminating in a song and dance number; a patient speaking to a doctor about avoiding aging; a neighborhood party culminating in a song and dance number about whether a senior couple continue to have sex; an older couple attending couple's counseling; a lawyer defending his 72 year old client to a sleeping jury.
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Host: Wilson, Flip
Producing Organization: KCET (Television station : Los Angeles, Calif.)
AAPB Contributor Holdings
The Walter J. Brown Media Archives & Peabody Awards Collection at the University of Georgia
Identifier: cpb-aacip-821c1425b48 (Filename)
Format: U-matic
Duration: 00:58:00
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Chicago: “Wrinkles, Birthdays, & Other Fables,” 1973, The Walter J. Brown Media Archives & Peabody Awards Collection at the University of Georgia, American Archive of Public Broadcasting (GBH and the Library of Congress), Boston, MA and Washington, DC, accessed June 28, 2022,
MLA: “Wrinkles, Birthdays, & Other Fables.” 1973. The Walter J. Brown Media Archives & Peabody Awards Collection at the University of Georgia, American Archive of Public Broadcasting (GBH and the Library of Congress), Boston, MA and Washington, DC. Web. June 28, 2022. <>.
APA: Wrinkles, Birthdays, & Other Fables. Boston, MA: The Walter J. Brown Media Archives & Peabody Awards Collection at the University of Georgia, American Archive of Public Broadcasting (GBH and the Library of Congress), Boston, MA and Washington, DC. Retrieved from