Coming of age; Joey has his doubts

What was your reputation around the neighborhood. Well I would be able to be patient. I always did have. Troubles I would see in a time when people know me they play and liked it so I used to get even with some of them because I don't always sit by my back you never told me that my face tough place even when because I'm always like somebody does something to me says something about me and it's kind of cute. What would you do. My sound. Guy was my size and everything in our house right one of my poem look you talking by my back and I mean what you say to me you know. Talking everybody else. When you get them alone make that film act as brave as when they're with their boys. This is Ben park with a program in the series coming of age. The boy Joey who is telling us about himself is 18 years old. Some of his story will sound familiar to you and some may not. But he's the product of in a part of 20th century America he's what our series is all about youth today. At the end of the program there's a brief

commentary by Mr. Maurice Russell a psychotherapist who has known many boys like Joey. I want to get into the mechanics feel they can get into racing because I think I can get into a car racing with a know it by car eyes. You know you can get into a car and drive unless you know what you're driving. What kind of car you're driving. On that's. How long you have ever since I was a little kid. I mean it's something inside of me a feeling I've had I always wanted to do because I was located try to run the try school I wanted to get into it. Just a feeling I get every time I see a little car. I can you say something about it Tracy. You know I used to ride my little tri sickle around the block. I. Used to be and everybody used to. Always say used to come down like racing on a black hole. Now about a seven years of success. I was like speed like that.

Yeah. Tell me about it. Well it's a feeling I mean speed don't buy them. I mean I can be on fast and that doesn't bother me at all. I mean. I like is the feeling I get inside. And that now can take place when you say it was like to be a bicycle. Oh yeah. Up around where I live they know me. Well and work in food so I don't have to race. Always on messed around with them things. I mean the kids. Quite a rest I'm told. You're pretty fast on a bike here. Always I can go slow and I'm always moving when ever I mean anybody right now yeah hit cars trucks buses I see that we can without being many is junked. I got in the store where I work now it's time so it's not the chat. Sometimes I just misjudged a few times and then to always make mistakes. Everybody's pushing. You going so fast against that

I want to stop while I went was going too fast I stopped the whole bike went over me did a few flips. And there were good when I crank up on the unlucky guy. Just get a few scratches that's sure to get my brains knocked out but I always make OK. Well you have a car you already carry right now but I'm thinking of getting one pretty soon. Be a long time before I get one tonight in fact. I wish I could drag racing or anything like that. Yeah I don't know but not legally. You legally have to. What to do that. This road up in Yonkers. That road. Only guys with doubt rise made up to me to some dragon. On hindsight. I used to bug them. I always got them they never that's why they never really want to me in the cars because I used to blow up the drive when I was driving I used to get and speed sooner or later you know when I was in the mood you know and I saw Donnie was ahead and I can let that happen.

Donnie was pushing it and we can catch a movie about. 10 cars behind him in the leg. And he kept staying ahead of us and pushing up to 95 96 100 and we still can catch. Anybody in the back was quiet in the front and I'm going to actually jump and I'm told I'm moving all the way you use I got all the way down I can't hold any further. So finally we get up to Dani and we had to cut out though so we could I wouldn't get out of the X and it was a sharp turn and they sort of people's money goes out because the back is a lot of. The back screens on the back is like. So he takes a turn he'll spin out before he rolls. But I won't. I wasn't locked in the back so Danny spins out and takes off so ours is longer there is I tell you everybody is for you wait till you get us like this guy is going to go over. So we spend now too but he was a good journalist. He wrecked it up here and I'll pull it off. Not too long ago. He was in the junkyard anyway so why don't you so he care he

takes another part of the con throws it on what he can and then they were sucking now. The time. So Euros while around the neighborhood. How come. Oh I don't know it's just my nature where who's been. Jumping. I can never be still I mean there were not and I get nervous I have I have to be doing something otherwise. I go batty. So you guys keep telling me take your time sit out on my king said I gotta be doing some time. I was screaming that mean everything going up where I used to go in Micah. She used to. Before and never once in a while but almost always use a jump on me. My money used to hit me and punish me. Mean hitch and Elijah and punish me stay in the house and any brothers and sisters. Yeah one brother and the sister. And brothers all me my sister you know. How much was your brother museum between you and my sister's twelve. How do you

want to bet it we don't get along you know I mean. If you live at home what kind of guys is always a quiet guy never gets in trouble and using a married priest all the time you would get in trouble it was to get your parents ever favor him as a result of that. Yeah in a way. Because he was quiet and weakness and want to be like you got and buy used to always say you brought us all quite some nice guy. How can you be from the same family on the way to. Do anything about it. Now. I kept being same way I was. I mean change to be like my but I never. Want to be like I'm any education what I got my school you know. I. Can do much what do you think is just going to get the kind of jobs you can get when I. Mean there's not much.

What about your education for high school. Do pretty well and I did OK. You told me you went to 600 school. Tell me about a success but what kind of school is or was a school for guys working along those schools and regular school. So you sent you there and straighten you out. What were you doing at a regular school that you can get on. Always get into fights and talk and class. Don't worry about the 600 school when it comes education. They really don't teach you much because the guys who go there. Sort of get in trouble too you know. And they aren't learning school so they have to start teaching them from the bottom again you know it isn't that they're dumb it's just that they haven't any education and they can be good. And they are. They may have to know that. I never did homework. Never. And the kind of guys over there they go there. They get to fight they

were there like me. You know I look at them a long anything they want to fight you know. And they have to teach you baby stuff you know. Third grade reading and all of that I don't like that because I can read them backwards. When we went up in the ninth grade there anyway. And guys be there 17 years olds to ninth grade you know. But I was absent quite a few times. Just the only thing that held me back from getting out my lateness along either was there for two years and I wanted to get out Dana. I thought I was getting out that yeah. But I didn't because I was absent by too many times so I quit the job. And I think there's no more work. But I saw what it was like to work you know own place. No education and you can write. So I went to see the head of 600 school was and I talked I told look I wanted when I scored the only reason I'm not going is because I've been absent so many times in late

night always everything else I don't get in any trouble in the school. I'm at a school monitor for school I go pick up films and everything for school and all that. I take care some classes sometimes when a teacher for a period I want to get into high school you know. So I went back. They call that my school so the school said I would give you a break and come here for one month. Never absent and never late and will send you to any three high schools you want to go to you know. But if you absolutely once you're shot you can't you know because we have to have a good record saying you did a high school you know we have a song that you can do if you want to be on a trial period anyway if you don't make good their schoolwork in the absence of they can boot you out you know. This is fine I'll be able to do that. So I finally made it. So they sent me didn't go there. And I got to high school to put me in at that time I was gone by the end of the what the hell was coming on. They give me geometry and all that I did not want to home was.

I never had that kind of work before I never had algebra or anything because then in teachers over there but I was still going to go through with it get dry would at least go out for a fight and. You know. You see trouble sometimes. Do you know what. And. Juvenile delinquency. Jews believe if you look at it you know it really well. Sometimes. Once while I took I was up in the place taking some bicycle by. Needed some parts for my bike. So I went up to this place with my friend. He took some parts from up there. I got quiet but they let me go to you. They took me on in my house and the. Saudi guy who lives up moved you. His mother paid off the cops with a bottle of whiskey so that now happen to him but I had to go down to do the thing for that thing.

My father went down with me to get me or a game your warning. How old were you. When I was courtin. Did you get detained at all in the general harmony like that and take me to juvenile. I was only once for. Was you frightened society. What kind of thought was that. Down the river. We got into a fight and I got quite. A. Lot of the complications for me from being Court for the trained in the bicycles and on that. Steve. Arsonist. The. Cops. They sent me away for two weeks then. Down to the court. 12st you can now. Do With House. He said it was around but how did that come about. I used to work and just when I start to make deliveries up to block a block up there. And the step to go right into a block and you used to be scenic when you have to. I used to

work in the afternoons if the school. So they used to come up to me and call me speak as I was making my delivery and everything. So when they got fed up and I told them You guys want to get all the women I swear they said I swear by the river. So we went down and then we started a fight. But what a face time to get on the way. Somebody call the cops and the cops with just about to get to where it was cop cars on the bike. So everybody got both of them. That's when I was about 15. But then I met this little girl and I quit our stuff and they're at a dance. One night this first time I saw your mom but it was going to die. So I'm going to do on the block. Just don't go on with you said no you're not you know come with me. So I said I want to go. And was he was like. So I went up to today and I went home and put on a suit and with him so I went down and I was dancing around with him.

First I don't know who she was but I heard my FROM was going to my friend in like oh you know he's the kind of guy you know he doesn't like goes that much and on the way he's bash on doesn't know how to talk to me anything. So I dance when I'm eating so he kind of like me a little bit. I was and I think you know me oh you know she heard about me. So I walked home and I told my friend look if you don't like you I like I'm trying to go forward. So you can have it you know because I don't want to go out of anyone. She's a nice kid. I don't want one. So I guess friend and girlfriend they were like sisters you know you can't quite so I guess that you know like they were borrowing you know. Girlfriends and all right so my friend Mike took out a girlfriend I took her. And went bowling had that time I went bowling with the guys and I was like there was a second time I went on my life. I tried it out. Then when I skated a rose game bicycle anyone picnics when all things I'd ever done before

I know what. I don't know how to dance because I never used to dance when in my. Eye by myself I can dance you know face music I mean. I never learned the basic steps you know it's rock n roll model that got us dance you know how to dance with a partner everything I can do that but the beat I get to beat myself and I can do it all by myself but I never danced with a girl so I was like. I mean you know it's fast and all that. I tried but I I feel fine. My you know what about your girlfriend. She like you know you're She's a good dancer. But the slow dance I can dance with her like she's the only one I ever dance with that knows how to dance my way you know the way I dance like stock and that's the fast way she always try to teach me but I know I mean interesting. You see kind of change mean away. How's that. And I cared about her and the man they were killed by a new girl and that so she knew what kind of guy I was because I told

her I started a group that was. Kind of a kind of ghost. I was I don't want to. How do you know bad reputation you know going out with me because she like me she went out with me anyway I thought I'd never make it with her because the kind of guy I was. With she still with me. So we were going and I knew she didn't want me to get to any kind of trouble. So I did I said OK and I went straight there. I mean what do you want me to parents. Great comparison nice people and I painted the kitchen Foreman. I hope they do me favors to you know take the Skene. I don't scheme with him. I skate. Beach. It's kind of fun is it because you know I'm a man. You say Take care guys again before. I fell I mean that every way in the book that day. But I kept trying. Maybe I

was going to kill myself. Trust me I even went up on the experts Well the day before we went home. I made it till I catch on fast. You said that you started going with this girl if you're going with but that you've got other kinds of girls before that. What kind of girls who don't care where you treat them. You know you can treat and then your way. Talk in front. Do anything you want. Doesn't I used to think those were kind of goes on when they're eating I mean I used to have my son more than anything. But. It's kind of a different story when talk there in front of I'm trying to act like a gentleman but I. I don't know what it was like to truly and they so I had to start from the bottom up. Now like you know the whole the DOS were go. Take you to a show and take it to a claim and go swimming in the room. I don't know what it was like. So I learned it should teach you.

Yeah little by little. Well no not straight out but you know little hands. My court. OK. She's nice but quiet. It's my school. She pretty. Yeah and they figured I was just so different from the rest of the girls. What I've heard from the guys that look like it was talking which it was and look you know I think and I found myself I could see what kind of girl she was you know from the other kind of girls I used to hang around with was day and night and I could see somebody really had to tell me about how old she. She's 16 should be 17 next September. So she's in school. She got to go to college. To my school to I thought best for. You find you have more friends now have more friends. To. Shut you

out. Well yeah. Even my own friends because I always had a reputation and the friends I have now they were as close as before. I mean they used their bodies and everything and how it got here I had a lot. Yeah you know I would buy them. What would you do. Star Personally I don't want that you know they want. A party. It was my own fault I need to go to the beach and I had dinner you stance me to go to. The monks themselves you know to make sure I wasn't here but I always knew where they were gone but I know I would you know take too long because I was never like that. And they will push myself into it and I stay Esmee so they never asked me so I never bothered. I got to get away. So they ask you to parties now. Oh yeah. How long you been going to this girl. Two years two and this is really made a big influence on you.

What's going to happen if she goes away to school for a couple years and meet some other guy. I don't know. How much you can do but I get your shell accepted by your friends more outlets everything. Pretty much because this girl wants you to. Be a was she want me to suppose you don't have her around want you to. You know I told me once in a way you take it easy and I'm. Probably. Telling You I'm 18. What are you doing in school. I'm going to school. I'm working now. I got a job you have. Somebody that will mean. For me.

Like it. It's OK. Oh I get it now whatever you want and what you really wanted. I really don't know you know. I mean I had no education as far as I go so I'm just going to have to learn a trade. You think you're working now. It's a trade really. I mean you know jacking cars all day long. To be a mechanic aside. Can you get to be OK by being around the garage. Maybe but I don't get a chance to do anything on cars so I just jack him. Pick up in the living. Now because I enjoy 12:30 and me. I get to these jaguars and everything. Just call Betty. No cops around rubber for a block with things like a Corvette the other day. Ghettos we deliver this over to 40 or 40 first between

Park and Madison. I said I'm going to get lost on purpose. I'm going to take a Corvette for a ride on an all around the county and Forty second Street and I was leavin rubble with them taking the train squealing Taina people stare as I walk I think I was crazy you know to my to anything to get where she peels out all the time pretty good though. You gotta know how to drive a quote that it takes. Yes I was reading an article of mine. These guys you know they get to this quote that to me I don't know how to take them around a turn on when they can flip them but if you know I mean look what great you got to me. But it takes time to get used to it. Now was in use just first time I was quite vets always messing around with it too hard for the cop was watching me as cop on a coin he saw me come by twice and I kept leavin rubber. I thought it was going to stop me to you know who he was all right. Listen that would always make the other station wagon station where he's got some nice leg. True and lonely snapped into Super now to do anything was moving.

They know me down there already they see me coming and like now but I'm always careful you know sometimes these kids jump out to get to the street so I know what blocks to mess around with. When there are many kids and it was 12:30 at night there's nobody around in the daytime is when I mess around. I'm dying to get to a big Macy's I sell 300 to see what they can do. I hit it good I had a Ferrari. I had to drive a Ferrari on an 80 mile an hour job. I should just give it to me for half an hour take it up to 180 miles an hour where you're going to mess around with that when when that thing started up it sounds like all so beautiful to me he said. $15000. Key point you know the feeling you get you sit down low you get that wheel slow you get that handle right there just thrown in gears pretty you know you kind of a joke before I go for it as you know so sure I know Dr. Michele even though it only gives way I look at they analyze our

first look at their what I said that's what I got and I just drove it same thing with the jet way up you know and then the stick they showed me the gears you know that's all I got to know because I never told them before I mean when I get the job to do union the guy says You know I drive quite so sure and I drive cars start a question I can start him up to get 18 ignition away but I start him up in the guy tells me even the Gries one time to show up in the form on time I know I worked in parking as Bush and then we even drove cries like that you know. For this program in the coming of age we invited the comments of Mr. Maurice Russell a psycho therapist and lecturer in psychotherapy at Hunter College in New York. This is the kind of youngster that I have seen quite often reaches a saturation point as far as education is concerned quite as boys are very geared to activity. The nature of his inner turmoil is so great that he really cannot

tolerate a sustained school situation he simply cannot stand to sit in a seat for any extended period of time. He only relates through activity and probably will only learn through activity. Many youngsters in whose homes another language is spoken often feel this difference acutely. They are frequently are embarrassed to bring youngsters in from another background because they don't want their friends to meet their parents to see the nationalistic tone of them. And I think that this can pose quite a problem. Interestingly enough we are also seeing that in a great many families where English is not spoken at home there are learning difficulties in regard to reading writing and so on. Certainly partially due to emotional factors but I'm sure there are certain

cultural implications to for example of a youngsters being taught English and never sees an English newspaper which would be at least an adjunct to his learning. One could at least speculate on what this might do to his use and facility of English. Again I think there's a danger in generalizing but I think that it's a fact to be considered here. This boy's perception of the culture and his conflict around values is revealed in one statement he makes about the friend's mother who paid off the Cops of the bottle of whiskey so. Once you see how sensitive he is to the environment to the surroundings and how much he is questioning concepts of right and wrong. Probably the most outstanding thing about this youngster is the overwhelming aggression and

tremendous need for activity which would certainly raise alarm in terms of what would be the future for a youngster like this. And what kind of controls could be set for him or how could he ever be how to assimilate control so that his life need not be a complex of dramatic incidents. Always living dangerously close to death. Is he seeking control through this girl. It would seem so. I don't know how much of it is connected to his need for control or his strivings for identification with something better than he feels he's had I think it's hard to know fully what this girl represents. It might simply be another form of his feeling about. A very

expensive car or a car that demonstrates to his mind class power and wealth. This girl by the same token in terms of his own group would probably stand out as someone quite different quite the sire of a bull and therefore something of a prize or a trophy or a real accomplishment. If if one could be identified as her boyfriend next week a 17 year old girl tells how she seeks danger and the friendship of older men coming of age is produced for the National Television and Radio Center by the Center for mass communication of Columbia University. The series is distributed by the National Association of educational broadcasters. This is Ben park. This is the end Radio Network.