Report from Santa Fe; Allan Lokos

The National Education Association of New Mexico, an organization of professionals who believe that investing in public education is an investment in our state's economic future. And by a grant from the Healey Foundation, Tau's New Mexico. Hello, I'm Lorraine Mills and welcome to Report from Santa Fe. We have a very special show today. Our guest is author Alan Locus. Thank you for joining us. You're welcome, smart pleasure. You are really like the Phoenix having arisen from the ashes because we're here to talk about one of the most extraordinary books ever. It's called Through the Flames. And what's the subtitle? Overcoming disaster through patience, determination and I think determination, compassion and patience. Right. In any order, you need them all. And I always mix them up. Well, that's quite all right because you came out. You were in a fiery plane crash on Christmas Day 2012. This is

everyone's worst nightmare. And yet here you sit. The doctor said you couldn't live. There was no chance of your surviving head against all the odds you survived. And one other thing you're a day job before you went on this trip. You were the founder and the guiding teacher of the Community Meditation Center in New York City. You've been a Buddhist teacher and practitioner for years. Also had an early career on Broadway as you can tell with the richness and resonance of your voice. But let's go back. I'm sure it must be painful. But let's just talk a little bit about what happened to you on this flight. You were in Myanmar in Burma on Christmas Day. What happened? Well, I think one thing that you said is really most important for everyone to bear in mind. And that is that I really am here and I'm alive because when we speak about something as traumatic as what I went through, it can be frightening. It brings up things for the listeners, so bear in mind I

am alive and I'm well. But on Christmas Day we were touring in Myanmar or Burma. And we were to take a short flight. It was to be a 25 -minute flight from the town of Mandalay to a little airport called Heo. 25 -minute flight that never arrived or it was supposed to be short of the runway by maybe a mile and a half or so, the pilot misjudged where he was and came down. And in coming down, he came down shearing through electrical wires. And those wires sparked and burst into flames and the flame was ablaze before it even hit the ground. And then it hit the ground hard, spun around until it finally came to a stop. The landing year never even came down. We were just on the belly of the plane. The issue then was how to get out of this plane which was now immediately filled with

thick black smoke coming from jet fuel burning. My wife Susanna said she didn't think she could make it to the front of the plane because she was already choking. And in truth, no one was able to move. They didn't have any doors open yet. But just to our left, an emergency door had popped open in the crash. The problem with that was that it was all inflamed, the whole emergency door. If you were going to get out that emergency door, you had to go through the flames, thus the name of the book. But we realized that was the only way. And I said, Susanna, if you're ready, I'm pushing you out that door. And she said, yes. And I did. My intention was to follow right after her. But my foot caught on something. I don't know what. I couldn't see what because of the thick smoke. And I was stuck there in the fire. Pretty horrendous situation. And I was certainly more than frightened. I would say

terrified. And at the same time, and I would attribute this to all of my years of meditation practice, I was able to remain calm enough to be able to free my foot and then jump from the plane. But I had been in that fire for a long time, and I was badly burned. A third of my body, full thickness burns, which means, in some cases, all the way through to the bone, to the tendons. And I must have looked pretty bad because the doctors in Myanmar, Bangkok, Singapore, and even ultimately back in New York said, I wouldn't survive this. But... Here you are. But I want to go back to how bad you looked. Because as the smoke cleared as you were getting away from the plane before it exploded, which indeed it did, you said that the people around you just looked at you with horror. They did, yes. And that you had, of course, skin. We don't want to be too graphic, but it

was just quite... It was burned. It was burned. But that one kind face spoke to you as you were being helped by other people through this crowd, and to get away from the plane. And this wonderful kind woman said, do this one sentence. Yes, and I had never met her before, of course. And in the midst of all these faces looking terrified, she leaned out when I got very close to her and just said to me quietly, you will be all right, sir. And then I never saw her again. And ultimately, she turned out to be right. Yeah. So I don't know who I'm supposed to be thankful to in that situation, but wherever she is, I am very grateful. And all the doctors, every medical professional you saw, just with quietly sitting at your wife's well, there's nothing we can do. He probably won't make it, and yet you did. With one exception, and that was a rather incredible doctor

in Singapore named Bianquim Tan, or BK, as he liked to be called. He told me a year later, when we met back in New York, that when he was doing surgery on me, and he cut into me, he said that he felt that the life force that he felt that was still within my body, in spite of the injuries, was too strong to die at that time. Another person that was helped you when you were first in the first hospital was a woman who had a B &B, and her people obviously had been playing grass. So she came to help you, and she said, well, I am like your mother now, and she helped clean you up, but she resided to you in real life. One of the things I've always been fascinated with about Buddhism, which is the simple premise that you are not this body. And when you've been on fire, with the most excruciating pain that the body can feel, to be reminded in that loving way as she helped you,

that you are not this body of what a gift. Well, it is, you know, we tend to associate the body as self. This is me, I am me, mine. And in the Buddhist view, the body is a component of self. They speak of five component parts of which form or body is one. But the body can be injured. We know many people who have been seriously injured. Many more seriously injured than I. They can't walk perhaps, can't see. Yet they live incredibly fulfilling lives. So the body is part of it, but we get very caught up in our physical appearance, and it's kind of natural to associate self with body. But it's also important to realize that there's a lot more to self than body. Many people asked you, again, you had a whole community of the headlines where West Side Guru is in fiery

crash. How, after decades of Buddhist practice and teaching, how did that help you survive this crash? You know that's, it's a difficult question to answer in terms of, can I prove anything that I believe? But here are a couple of things that I think are significant in the worst moment when I was trapped in the fire. And I, you know, openly tell you it was terrifying. I knew where I was, and I knew I was in a bad situation. But at the same time, my mind was calm enough to be able to figure out what I had to do to get out of that situation. In meditation practice, which for me has been more than two decades every day for long periods of time, we look at what is going on within the mind, within the mind, within the body. So essentially it comes down to the experience of thoughts, feelings,

or emotions, and physical sensations. The physical sensations at that time, I don't even remember. My trauma therapist says that the blank spot in my memory there is the gift of the benevolent brain. We have tried actually to gain back some of that memory, but it seems to be pretty well blocked out. So I believe that all of the years of being aware of what is going on within the mind and within the body really paid off in that moment. And so it was terrifying, but I wasn't panicked. I had no idea how close I was to death, and I really never for a long time had any idea how badly injured I was. I mean, I could look at my hands and see them and could look at my legs and see the damage there, but I never equated it with

being so close to death until almost two years later. When I was doing a TV spot for CBS Sunday morning, and they asked if I had any pictures of me right after the accident. And I knew that there were pictures, but I had never seen them, probably my kind wife protecting me. But I then saw the pictures for the first time, and when I saw those pictures, then I understood why the doctors didn't think I'd live. Because the person in those pictures was very seriously injured. And I say it that way because it wasn't a matter of seeing the pictures and denying that that was me. It was more that there was a spaciousness. There was the picture, which clearly was me. And then there was me now. Instinctively, the first thing I did was to turn and look in a mirror. That's something that the somatic experiencing

therapists point out. This constant reminder, as you work through traumatic experiences, to be reminded again and again, but this is now, and you're okay. And I looked in the mirror and I said, I'm okay, but boy, those pictures were startling. Your book, through the flames, is so inspiring that there are people who have faced worse things and people who have faced little things before anyone facing any kind of crisis. It's not just the physical. We all face many crashes, be they the death of a beloved or a divorce or financial things. There's many kinds of crashes. And so in the introduction to the book, your teacher or friend Sharon Salzburg, they say, well, how is mindfulness, is meditation handy to have in case you're going through a critical crisis? And she said, why wait? Exactly. Do it now. Invest in this perspective so that you'll

have it as a tool, as something to fall back on. Can you talk about that now? You've never ever told anyone to meditate. You've never, you know, that's not it. But there are people who are going, how did he do this? And what if something like that happens to me? And she's saying, your teacher's saying, just explore it now. Well, you're comfortable before the crash. Yeah, I think also what Sharon was saying, and I think to what you just alluded, is it's not a matter of if, because my crash is a playing crash, that's a big deal. But as you said, we're going through crashes all the time. The ones you mentioned, it could be the crash to deal with the death of a loved one or the crash that's called divorce or called financial collapse. And these events are part of the fabric of life. It's not because we've done something wrong or because we're being punished. It is exactly the same part of fabric as

the joys and the delights and our kids and our grandkids and our puppy dogs and kittens, the beautiful and the wonderful and the difficult. So, when we can see that, when we can see that, we don't feel that resistance that we feel when something difficult is happening. We can more easily accept, but that doesn't mean that we always sit back and say, oh, everything's cool, I'm a meditator, I float above everything, you know, because that's nonsense. And as you said, I have never said to someone you should meditate. They usually come to me because someone else has said you should meditate. And I would never turn anyone away who wanted to learn about it, but it doesn't have to be meditation. Whether it's prayer, whether it's being out in nature, whatever it is that helps us connect with what is going on. Within ourselves, our experience, so that we're getting through

to the truth, what is actually happening. For me, it's meditation, I've tried many other processes. Meditation sat well with me right from the beginning, but it's not the only way by any means. But I think exactly, as you said, I wouldn't wait because things happen every day. And just to add one thing to that, I don't speak about this to create a fear. In fact, quite the opposite. I would like, for people on the whole purpose of writing this book, was to invite people to become more present, more awake to what's going on. So that when the joys arise, it can be, and when the difficult times arise, we know that we can handle them. That was the whole purpose of my writing this book. May no one ever be in a plane crash. But all of these crashes, the difficulties that arise, when we feel we can't handle it. It's impossible, but it's not impossible. And we

can handle it. We're speaking today with Alan Locus, who wrote this beautiful book through the flames. I'll come back to it. But as I was exploring how to get to that state of mindfulness and how I can myself prepare for the present, I found your other two books, which are just lovely. One is called Pocket Peace Effective Practices for Enlightened Living. This is such a sweet companion book to have, very, very helpful. And then one of the essences that you come back to, time and again, is patience, the art of peaceful living. And patience is something that a lot of us, you know, go getters, have a hard time with. You talk about taking that breath before you react it, pause. Talk to us a little about why, what is patience and why we should invite it into our hearts. Well, my dear friend and wonderful teacher and psychotherapist, Tara Brock,

coined the phrase a sacred pause. And it's a big phrase. A pause can be sacred. When we're in a situation where someone pushes our buttons or we sense anxiety or anger arising, a pause can be monumental. And the pause can just be an in -breath and an out -breath. One thing that's not going to happen in that pause is you're not going to strike back. You're not going to put your foot in your mouth. It's very difficult to put your foot in your mouth when it's closed. So that pause, I think if we really looked ultimately, that pause can actually save a life. Because we don't know if we're not aware when impatience is arising. We should talk about that. We have a language that we use with patience and impatience. We say, I'm losing my

patience as if it is a thing or a commodity that I can lose and I should look for it someplace. Patience is a feeling. Impatience is a feeling. When impatience arises, it's a clear indication that patience is no longer present. For those who experience regularly the arising of impatience, they might want to look at that. Because impatience doesn't feel good. I mean, that's the key. Why continue to go through feelings that are just unpleasant when we don't have to? So the big starting place for me has to be one's own motivation. It's not enough when someone else says to you, you need to learn how to be more patient. Because that's not our own motivation. Our own motivation is when we realize we just smacked our three -year -old and then realize what am I doing? It's a three -year -old. And realizing I need to work on this. It's not

about the three -year -old. It's about what I have to work on. And that can be difficult to accept. But again, the key thing, patience and impatience are feelings. If we can attune ourselves to the feelings that are arising within us, we've got to beat. When you talk about that free sacred pause, it takes me back to some of the things that Dalai Lama had said about being in the past. The Dalai Lama suggests that if there's a problem and you can't do something about it, there's no need to worry. If there's a problem and you can't do anything about it, there's no need to worry. So just be here now. That pause invites you back into that presence. And let's talk a little about worry and stress. Mark Twain said, I've spent most of my life worrying about things that never happened. When you are fighting a major life -threatening situation with your health like you did, stress is a very negative, it's a very contraindication of healing. You can't have stress and healing going

on very well together. So to give yourself that breath and to realize, okay, what's happening right now? Maybe tomorrow I'll fall off the cliff, but right now I'm here. Talk a little about that take a pause. Well, doctors and scientists, and now the neuroscientists who are helping us to learn so much about neuroplasticity, all agree that stress is a major enemy of the immune system. If we're injured or dealing with a serious illness, we need the most healthy immune system that we can have. The problem is, of course, that all of these philosophical views, and I love the Dalai Lama, and I love the view that you quoted, but I sometimes say to my students, the problem is, this all has to go through a human being. All the teachings may be there from the Buddha or from Jesus or Muhammad, wonderful, but they have to go through a human

being, and we have to figure out how to practice these teachings, or we have to practice the practice, use a verb and an noun in the same sentence. And the pause is certainly one of them, that sacred pause. It's fine to say that as soon as you notice that you're becoming anxious to stop for a moment, and become aware of a complete in -breath and complete out -breath, but it's so easy to say, become aware in that moment of what's going on. We get caught up in the event. How can she say that? And that bypasses immediately our awareness of what we call the bear experience. The bear experience is that feeling of annoyance, anger, anxiety, and we're right into the storyline, and we're creating stories. How could she say that? She always says things like that. She thinks she knows better than everybody, and that's why her kids are

so rotten. They're the same way, and that's why she was divorced. And they were all into that story that has nothing to do with the fact that someone said something, and it touched something inside of us. With the pause, we could say, you know, I really cherish our relationship, our friendship. I really need to speak to you about this. When you said that, it hurt my feelings. Can we talk about that? And that's different. Well, there's the story that we all create and that keeps us from that moment of centeredness. But you also have stories of other people that are fabulous in this book. It is so inspiring to me, not only your personal story, but some of the ones you've signed out. Do you have a minute to tell us about Jeffrey, the man that Dr. Who made his own coffin? And what he said about the knapsack and the stupid baggage we carry around. You know, I realized, well, to be perfectly honest, when I came home from the hospital after months of

hospitalization, I thought this was now over, everything was going to be great, and it wasn't. That was absolutely the worst time. It was horrible. That's when you wanted your life. All I could think of was I want my life back, and I couldn't have it then. And I couldn't see at that point that I would have a wonderful life that would be slightly different. But one day I was going from my many therapies back to the hospital, and I got in the elevator with a young woman who was in a wheelchair. And I thought to myself, what is her life like? Has her doctor said to her, I'm sorry, but you're not going to walk again? Or who else in this elevator has been told, you need to get your affairs in order because you don't have much time. And I wanted to meet people like that and hear their stories and share them. Because as I said, I was very fortunate. So I interviewed some people. I interviewed this extraordinary woman in Phoenix

who was shot, and then Dr. Jeff, who you mentioned, who was dying of prostate cancer, realized that what he always wanted to be in life, he was a wonderful doctor, but the person he wanted to be was impeded by what he called a knapsack that was filled with anger and resentment. And now he could let go of that knapsack and truly be the person he wanted to be. Listen to the birds. Say, I'm sorry if he offended someone. And he died back in November, and I believe he died a peaceful life. Well, you talk about when the doctor tells you to get your affairs in order, we really just have a minute left. But one of the other things you mentioned, although this is a culture that does not want to talk about death, there are some things that will really make everything easier for yourself. One of the things you talk about is, and like your wife, Suzanne, is such a good example, that in this health journey, you need an advocate. Absolutely.

You know, I would never have expected to be in a hospital. I'd never been in a hospital. Certainly, I'm not only in a hospital, but I can't speak. I can't think without Suzanne, I would have been dead. So I am strongly suggesting that everyone be realistic. Have a conversation with your mate, your partner, your friend, and say, look, if you will be my advocate, I will be yours. And that means in the middle of the night, if something happens to you, you call me, and I will be there with you in the hospital. And we both do the same for each other. I think it's essential. And we won't have time to go into this, but there's an other element of health care, power of attorney, and advanced directives. Look at it. Your family won't know really what you want unless you talk about it. You at the end were saying, am I fortunate or unfortunate? And you said, if you could go back to who you were before

the accident, maybe you wouldn't. Can you just speak to that? It shocked me when I found myself writing that at the end of the book. If I could turn back the clock, I wouldn't do it. No, I'm not saying if I knew the plane was going to crash, that I would have got on, because I wouldn't. But with all that's come from that accident, the love, and the support, and the opportunities, and just seeing things that I could never have seen this way, and feeling things that I could never have felt this way, no, I wouldn't go back. Yeah, I've got some pains, and I have some, you know, dealings with things with my hands, so hot. I still have hands, and that's what matters to me. Well, I am so glad that you're here. You really are the Phoenix who rose from the ashes. Our guest today is Ellen Locos. Thank you for joining us. I want our audience to take note of this incredibly inspiring book through the flames that's author Ellen Locos. Thank you. Thank you. And I'm Lorraine Mills. I'd like to thank you our audience for being with us today on Report from Santa Fe. We'll see you next week.

Past archival programs of Report from Santa Fe are available at the website Report from Santa Fe dot com. If you have questions or comments, please email info at Report from Santa Fe dot com. Report from Santa Fe is made possible in part by grants from the members of the National Education Association of New Mexico, an organization of professionals who believe that investing in public education is an investment in our state's economic future. And by a grant from the Healey Foundation, Taos, New Mexico. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.