National Lampoon Radio Hour

This is a public-to-service message from the National Lampoon Radio Hour. Never send care packages to the so-called starving families in Europe, because they're not starving at all. Can you afford to live in Europe? No. You can't even afford to visit Europe. And do you know what they do with the care packages you send? They whack them with their polo mallets and kick them into their swimming pools and have a good laugh at your expense. The real birth of the magazine was like from the middle 60s up until around, say from 65 to about 68 and 9, there was a really hot bunch of guys working on the Harvard Lampoon at that time, which included Henry Beard and Doug Kenny, George Trow, Chris Surf, lots of people who later were associated with the National. And they decided to try something they hadn't done before, which was to put out full scale magazine parodies and try selling them a newsstand. Up to that time, they had just come out with their regular issues and sold them at other

colleges, and that was it. So they did a life magazine first, and it sold pretty well, and then they did a playboy and that sold five times as well. In doing that, they got involved with a man in New York City named Matty Simmons, and he ran 21st century communications. When they wanted to start putting things on the newsstands, they had no distribution facility so they went to him, and he did that for them. He also helped them place ads. And these guys got real ambition. They brought out a time magazine, they brought out a record album, they bored of the rings, the parody of Tolkien, that Doug and Henry wrote, Chris Surf, did a thing called Alligator, which was a take off on the James Bond books. And they kind of felt their roots for the first time up there, even though they were 100 years old. So when Doug and Henry graduated, Matty Simmons got together with him and said, what do you guys think about the idea of putting out a monthly satire magazine, say, well, maybe call it the National Lampoon or something, and Doug and Henry looked at each other and sounded

good to them. I mean, beat having to go work at a law firm or something, and so they said great, and put any of your hard work on it, and the first issue came out in May of 1970, and that was the birth of the lampoon. The Harvard lampoon still comes out with their magazine parodies, like Cosmo, they did the last year or two years ago or something, and they did a sports illustrated, and when they do those, Matty still distributes for them and places they're advertising for them. Occasionally, some guys come down from Harvard to visit and see what it's like in the magazine office, and that's about it. I mean, there's no real close ties. Our Megafone Newsreel camera takes to the air for a bird's eye view of the devastation wrought by Mother Nature in the sleepy Zutt Valley of Northeast Switzerland. There are no survivors from the avalanche that engulfed an entire village in its deadly shroud of white. Another brutal reminder of nature's awesome power, triggered, authorities say, by a ski instructor zipping up his fly, an avalanche in Switzerland triggered by a ski instructor

zipping up his fly. The Megafone Newsreel marches around the continent across the seven seas and right into your face. Actually, the first year's worth was not very good. Some of the material was good that was in there, but the magazine looked like hell, and the reason was because they brought this some Harvard lampoon guy in to be the art director, and he just wasn't very good. It would have been alright if it was an underground magazine or a comic or something, but it wasn't. It was a slick, above ground magazine. That's what it had to be to work, and so I don't think that the magazine hit its real great period until mid-71, and then I think from mid-71 until maybe the end of 73 or something was the great period. What happened then is really very simple. We lost all of our good people first because they dispersed.

It used to be that you would have, on every issue, you would have Kenny, Beard, Hendre, O'Donohue, myself, two or three other guys every month, month after month, all those minds on a single goal of putting out a real funny magazine. Then they started to do stage shows like Lemmings and Radio Hour and Book Division and special issues like the yearbook and stuff like that. Every time they did one of those things, one of these eight guys had to be plucked out to be put in charge of that, so pretty soon there was only a couple of these guys who were working on a magazine every month. Then phase two was that people started to leave. O'Donohue had a dispute with the management which wound up in Michael walking out and quitting. I think they made him an offer. He couldn't refuse, so he refused and the hell with you guys. He left.

When he left, Ann Beats went with him and George Troll also because they were a group within the organization. Mike Gross, who was this great art director who came into replace the original guy and made the magazine look so great and won all kinds of awards from the people who give design awards each year. He said, well, I want to start my own design firm and he took the whole art department with him. This wasn't enough. It then came time. There was a clause in the original deal that was made between Doug and Henry and Mattie, which said after five years that Mr. Simmons would have the option of buying the magazine from these young men and the option came up and he exercised it and he bought it for $7 million from Doug Henry and a third guy who named Rob Hoffman, who scarcely ever worked at the lamproom and managed to walk away with $2.3 million something million dollars after five years and was a good deal for him. At that point, Henry immediately vanished.

He had been the one steady, dependable guy amongst all those nuts for five years and it was thanks to him that the magazine came out each month and that it was as good as it was. So when he was gone, that was kind of the final blow and so what is now happening? It's not that the magazine is going to go permanently down the tubes, but it has hit a low, it's probably back on its way up now. I think the, for instance, the March issue is real good. I think every time PGO Rork gets involved with things that there's, he's there, top gun these days. The B team had to come in and take over when the A team vanished and they weren't all that great at first. Jerry Sussman, for instance, when he first came in, he came in with a piece called The Young Adorables, which was real funny. On the basis of that, they made him a deal, okay, you bring us some pieces and Jerry started bringing it pieces and none of them were as good as the first piece of Venn and his stuff was really kind of grim for the first year and now he does this Bernie X thing each month and other stuff and he's gotten real, real good and PJ has developed tremendously, improved enormously since he first started working for it.

I think what's happening is that it's like the second wave has come in to take over the magazine and they've got to learn to do it and they've got to learn just how funny they can be and they've got to find their own way of doing things and not just copy what we used to do and so there's been an uncertainty running through the magazine in 74 and 5. I haven't had my stories in the magazine lately because frankly I'm really tired of writing a short story a month, that's very hard and I want to work on movies now and in fact throwing a plug for this, we're working on Doug Kenny and myself and I'm guy named Harold Ramos writing a movie about fraternity houses in the early 60s right now which is based partially on a couple of stories I had in the night of the Seven Fires and Pinto's First Lay and you know I'm real hot for movies but I can hardly get it up to write another short story you know because I did it for four years O'Donoh who got tired of magazine working wanted to go on to something different so now he's working for Saturday Night TV show you know, along with Anne Beats, right and several people who were on the lampoon radio hour and lampoon stage shows are the performers there now.

So it's not exactly burning out like you think of a Joe Cocker burning out who then can't get himself lit again you know but it's just that people get tired of doing the same thing again and again and want to move on to newer and bigger horizons. And now chapter 15 of When we last left Flash he had successfully escaped the giant dung beetles from the planet only to be hijacked by Lord Overshoulder Boulder Holder's Band of Suicide Suppositories. Now about to be burned at the stake Flash discovers a way to outwit his captors. Listen let me go if you on time I foot and legs and I can walk away and I'll come back later. Hey listen listen this is a phone call for you. You have to mention your last album to get to talk about that. The only reason I brought that up is because I've been so busy lately that even though the album's

been out for a while I didn't hear it until about three or four nights ago and I just cracked up. Forgot it, forgot it, forgot it, forgot it. I don't remember what that was. It went out the window. I don't remember that. Hello, hello, sorry. No more classical music here at this station. Only Welling music will be fantastic. No more country. No more rock and roll. Thank you. And I wondered, you know how whether it was popular out here or whether people were listening to it. What was your impression of that album that's compared to Lemmings and Radio Dinner? Well, I thought Radio Dinner had about four fantastic bets on it. It was a John Lennon parody. I was just saying that to be nice but I was actually the oldest. Even though rubbish has been singing, his man was an animal. The Bangladesh thing was, oh George George. Everybody bring brand rice for George. I now dear friends, I would create kind permission of Mr. George. I missed it George.

Yes George. Yes George. That is the time to take up a collection for the bummed orphanage. What bummed over in it? Dead one. The Dylan Golden protest album was very funny. The Spangled Warf in his bow tie. The infantry that don't ask why. Hi, I'm Bob Dunn. Remember those fabulous sixties? The marches, the beans, the draft card burnings, and best of all the music? Well, now Apple House has collected the finest of those songs on one album called Golden protest, performed by the original artist, made them famous. You're thrilled to, a society's child by Janissian. Isn't Valle's Sunday by the monkeys? What are they done to the rain by the searchers? In the ghetto by Elvis Presley. Silent night, seven o'clock news by Simon and Garfunkel. And who can ever forget was all-time classic. Yes, it's Barry McGuire's immortal eve of destruction.

And of course, my own master's of war, all for the incredibly low price of $3.95. And if you order now, you'll also receive a treasury of acid rock, featuring vanilla fudge, blue chair, fidget pink, movie grade, electric prunes, Jeff Snareplane, low thine hand people to name but a few. Plus, as part of this special limited offer, you'll also get the best of the supergroups with traffic, cream, blind faith, ginger bakers, air force, and many, many others. Yes, this is a collector's dream, gold and protest, plus two fabulous 60s albums, all for only $3.95. If you were to purchase these selections separately, they'd cost you hundreds of dollars. And many cannot be found anywhere at any price. Well, it's time for my boot heels to be wandered. But here's some, and I'll tell you how you can get this amazing record package. Here's how to order this amazing record package. Just send $3.95 and check her money on her plus your name address to Apple House Box 70-K Southband Indiana. Once again, that $3.95 and check her money to Apple House Box 70-K Southband.

Due today. Lemmings was pretty solid throughout because they just picked the best of the whole woodstock parody stuff that they had done and put it on there. 🎵 Aini darling, you know what? You can't kind of get cloudy. You know, I think you've all really got to trade it. I knew you'd almost... We can make it rain, yeah. So let's do a rain channel, let's make it rain, okay? Rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain. 🎵 Come on, man!

Get cloudy again! Let me get lui man. Get dark get got damp man. Get dark get damp! Cut морaling, I swam! Find a quick release song for the kids' boil. Come on, man. My fire塔 has been being rained. 🎵 The thing I love about the musical parodies that Lam-pun does, and these are... Let's give credit to Chris Gaston, Paul Jacobs, and the guys who have really been brought this whole thing along, is that the music is so good. And when Harvard Lam-pun brought out their album back in the 60s, where they did parodies of Dylan and various people, it was amusing, but the music was kind of, hmm, so-so, and now these guys... I mean, we were talking about the Neil Young parody on this latest thing, Southern California. It's better than Neil Young, and when Paul Jacobs takes that guitar solo in the middle of it, it sounds more like Neil Young than Neil Young does. 🎵

🎵 I need someone to live with me, to keep my bed warm, to keep my shores clean, I need a mate to give for free, and soul patches on my jeans. 🎵 I dreamed I'd found my cow-crow house wine, I was driving in my pick-up through a laddy. 🎵 I've got to love you, I can't believe. 🎵 Before I become an old man, Southern California brings me down. 🎵 Southern California brings me down.

🎵 Southern California brings me down. 🎵 Oh, I need some place to go. 🎵 Blue, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 🎵 It's safer than an old man. 🎵 It's safer than oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵

🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵

🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 Every time I sit down with somebody and listen to these albums, the immediate comment that comes up is, where do they find these people? A lot of them went to Bard strangely enough. A lot of them went to Bard College and came out. This, actually, the group of people who eventually went on to do a lot of the radio hour and a lot of these albums were originally kind of assembled for Lemmings.

And what happened there was that Tony Hendra, who had been a stand-up comedian earlier in his life and then was writing screenplays in California, came to the Lampoon specifically to put together a stage show and that evolved into Lemmings. And he, from his getting around in the world of comedy, knew a lot of these characters. And so Chris Guest and Paul Jacobs and John Belushi and Gilda Radner came in a little later, actually. You know, we're all assembled for the first time at that time, Chevy Chase. And they became a group unto themselves who went on to do radio hour and other albums and also that's where they come from. Out of Tony Hendra's sick mind is where they come from. What is National Lampoon's view of the Saturday Night thing now? Well, I know part of what their view is. They're a little annoyed that stuff gets lifted out of the magazine and used as if it's original on that TV show and also likewise with the radio hour. I personally think that they're succeeding pretty well. I mean, they're on a very difficult medium to do wild stuff.

The reason that the Lampoon radio hour died is because we couldn't hold a sponsor because they would be freaked out by the stuff that they were doing down there. So just the fact that these crazies have gotten onto the air and are doing this wack that stuff is by itself a miracle. You are a fluke of the universe. You have no right to be here. And whether you can hear it or not, the universe is laughing behind your back. Therefore, make peace with your God. Whatever you conceive him to be, the hairy thunder or cosmic muffin with all its hopes, dreams, promises and urban renewal, the world continues to deteriorate. Give up.

The only way in which possible legal problems has tempered us is some of the religious stuff. You would not believe the yo-yo's that come out of the woodwork when you do some religious parody. I mean, letters come in from all over the country of people threatening to kill us, people all sorts of strange splinter groups, right letters to everybody who puts ads in the Lampoon saying, if you don't stop advertising the Lampoon, no Catholic will ever buy your stereo system again, you know, for your prophylactics again or whatever. You know, Lampoon treats nothing as sacred, right? And so what we're constantly doing is kicking crutches out from under people. And which, if you ask me, is a healthy thing to do. But apparently, the people with religious crutches are the ones who are most dependent on their crutch. And when you mess with that, I mean, hey, you know. The norm is wrath outpours. And so after we did a thing called the Judeo-Christian ethic or something was one issue. And after that one, it was such an outpouring that Simmons has been trying to get us to go easy on the religious stuff a little bit since then. But that's the only time we've let possible legal problems bother us.

We never get in trouble with people who we have done Lampoons upon who we get in trouble with. Virtually all the lawsuits we've had have been copyright infringement, right? We put many amounts on the cover once we gave her tits. The Walt Disney organization was going to sue us. We said, oh, come on, you guys really. And they said, well, okay. So we got off of that one. And we did a thing with the Archie characters where the premise was, what if they grew up and came of age in the high point of the crazy years in the 60s? And so Veronica becomes a hooker and big moose is fighting with Lieutenant Callie and Vietnam. And we got fairly bad trouble with the Archie people who said, don't you realize that all over the country, young people look up to our characters and want to grow up to be just like them? We said, no, we didn't know that. But, you know, now we know. Did Jerry Lewis say anything about your telephone thing where you had in the air? I wonder myself. I don't know. Because he seems like a very sensitive man. And I would imagine that when he saw himself in a wheelchair, that he would sort of get upset.

I hope he did. I mean, I wonder if they get it. You know, I wonder if John Denver was in that same thing with the eagle pecking his eyes out. You know, I wonder if he got it. I thought it was funny or what? How many letters do you get of people who take it seriously that really believe that it's national ampune from the ads? Do you get response to those ads sometimes? Sometimes. One that really stands out in my memory was a, in a pubesan's issue, Ed Subitsky did a thing on computer dating or something. And there were pictures of all these pretty young co-eds in there. Well, we got boxes. We have crates, cartons full of mail. It came in from people who thought that was real and that they might be able to start corresponding with one of those ladies, you know. Well, I wrote to the, to Los Alamos, New Mexico for the TF Foundation. And they didn't send me anything. And I had that problem rather bad. I was wondering if there's anybody else I could complicate your radio career. And sure does. That's funny sound effects on the air. You're, you are associated with the photo funnies. Yes, you're right. Do you write them?

Yeah, well, I don't write all of them, but I write most of them. Do you take the pictures? No, I'm sitting in bed. I'm too busy to take the pictures. Oh, is that you in bed? Yeah, you bet. Have you found a new photo funnies girl yet? Well, yeah, as a matter of fact, I'm sitting in my picture. I guess you just didn't like it. Oh, you were the guy with the photo funnies? Right. Yeah, we did get that. We ran it in the magazine, but I'm afraid you didn't score too high. Have you found a new woman yet? Yes, we have. What's going to happen? See, what was supposed to happen was that, you know, there were going to be final six, the six finals, right? Where each one of them gets a chance to be in a real photo funny in the first two were in January, right? I saw that. The next two were supposed to be in February, the next two in March, but they got bounced out of those two issues because last year, and ads came in and they did bounce, yes. So I guess it's the April and May issue. You'll see finalists three and four and four and five and six. And then in June, we will announce the winner. And I don't think I should tip it off at a time, but it's going to be a surprise. It's none of the six who were supposedly competing for it.

And there will be a big double page spread of the, as it were, of the winner in the June issue, you know, the champion, the new champion or winner. Did many women send their pictures into you? Quite a few, yes. Is that how you found the, your finalist? No, that's not how we found her. Oh, I see. We just kept those pictures and some of them were a little stuck together now, but, you know, basically the whole contest was so we could get lots of girls to send them pictures with their shirts off and they worked. I'm a woman, I'm a human, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I can't, I can't do it like that. I have to do the jumping around and I have to do it. Jean, I think she can hack it. She can hack it. I can hack it. I thought she can hack it. I have to do the jumping around. I thought she could hack it, but it looks like she's having a tantrum. I'm not having a tantrum.

I really should see her. The wind's could sink in there. I can do it if you'd let me go, I thought that I would have felt. What are you, let me go, the way I stand here. I won't let you go. The most popular thing we've ever done has been the high school yearbook, the 64 high school yearbook. The reason why, I think, is two reasons. First of all, there's nothing really too offensive in there. And secondly, it's an experience everybody has had. We've all had a high school yearbook. I see you brought along two of the children from the institute. Yes, this is Debbie Ferguson from Santa Clara, California. Debbie wants to be a dental hygienist, as Debbie puts it to help people. Debbie is four years old, two foot seven and a half inches tall, 120 pounds. She won a bronze medal in Munich. And last week, she swam 200 miles upstream in the Columbia River. Hi, Debbie. She's a surgeon. Jimmy Hales from Cottonmouth, Mississippi. And when he grows up, he wants to be a sharecropper, just like dad. Jimmy is three and a half years old.

He stands two foot three, 185 pounds. He's got good speed. He does 109-3. Look at those calves, Lloyd. He's a good boy up front. He can go long. He's good deep. He'll get you inside. He'll get you outside, and he's tough on the option. His tough boy likes to hit, and he's not afraid to get his uniform dirty. Jimmy's recovering from some hockey injuries. He took 105 stitches across his face, and he lost his left ear. He's tough boy. He's fierce competitor. He's got boy's confidence, and he wants to win. I think he's going to be one of the all-time greats. In spite of the injury, he's in top physical condition. If we might demonstrate this, Lloyd, I want you to haul off and punch Jimmy in the stomach just as hard as you can. Go on, just punch him. For me? No, I couldn't do that. He's only a child. Of course you can. He can take it really hard now. Come on, punch him. Well, okay. Oh, did I hurt him? See all right? He's not hurt. Come on, get up. Shake it off. Try, baby. Stand up. Boy, get him again. But he's crying. Hit him again, I said. He can take it. Hit him. All right. How true are your two facts? Those are all true.

They are. They genuinely mailed in from real papers around the country by from readers who see something peculiar in your hometown in this paper, and I mail it into them. You obviously got mine somewhere back there about the dead baby. They found an opinion tree up in Santa Fe. Are we printed? No, you didn't print it. How could we have not printed that? It was one of the more incredible ones. I don't know when pinions bloom out here. They got little nuts, and they go around shaking the trees. And they shook quite enough. Baby fell out. Baby fell out. And when the stormy winds wail. And the breezes blow high and again. There's a curious, dropping, and flopping, and flopping. Fat little babies just hit him. Fat little babies just hit him. Do you know what sort of people read the national lampoon? Well, we have some idea of what kind read it. They tend to be male rather than female. They tend to be smarter rather than dumber, because otherwise obviously they wouldn't understand a lot of the stuff. They tend to be probably the biggest single lump of people is college age.

We get naturally high school readers probably. The kids, after a while, realize that mad really isn't very funny. And they see a lampoon. And at that point, they graduate to the lampoon. And then people probably up to 30 years old or maybe a little more read it regularly. Basically, the audience profile comes out to be a lot like the guys who are putting it out, who are kind of your upper educated, white, upper middle class, smart ass type characters. Do you think there's any redeeming value to your magazine? Oh, yeah. I do, absolutely. Sure. What? Well, there are the classic uses of satire, expression of moral outrage with pieces such as the Vietnamese baby book, which are funny, but also have some very pointed things to say. And then there's another kind of use of satire, I think, that is... Well, let's say we do a piece that's a parody of... Well, okay, a piece I wrote with Mark Rubin was called All in Defamely. It was a parody of All in the Family,

but it was also a satire and racism. And on white attitudes, you know, exaggerated, strange white attitudes about black people and everything. Now, without claiming any miracles for it or anything, I think that the following process possibly would occur there, that your white racist is sitting down and reading this thing finds himself laughing, and ultimately gets in touch with what he is laughing at as some of his own ideas. And once a person is laughed at some of their own ideas, it's pretty hard for that guy to take him quite so seriously ever again. Did you know that the majority of dead people are Jews? 85% of all dead people are Jewish. So remember, if you persecute Jews when you're alive, boy, are you going to get it when you're dead? He's not going to turn around and become a prince all of a sudden, probably, but nonetheless, he might not be able to take himself quite that seriously again. I mentioned All in Defamely. He also did one of the honeymooners meet Amos and Andy. Have you gotten any response from people who wanted to put them on his actual skits?

I wish we had. I wish we had. That's one of my favorite pieces was that Amos and Andy and the honeymooners. And we, in fact, used trying to get O'Donnell here to do a special radio show where half of it would be that thing, you know, performed. But it never, he didn't want to use it. He had his own idea of what kinds of things ought to be on there and that was not falling to that category. He didn't want to repeat anything that had been in the magazine, I think, was part of it. So, no, unfortunately, those have never been done. Wouldn't it be nice, you know? But you wouldn't mind seeing me. Not at all. I'd love it. Some guy was once going to make a film of, do you ever read cocktails in the first story about the guy with the telephone? Yes. Some guy was going to make a film of that and put it into the New York Arotic Film Festival one year. And I don't think it ever came to pass, though. And there are many people who believe that the satire in MAD is as good if not better than the National Ampune. Today? Yes. Boy, I'd like to meet some of those people. How are you doing?

Are you serious? I like MAD magazine very much. I believe that the satire that they use in there on their movies and some of their other articles are rather good, maybe not as good as some of the old magazines. Maybe I ought to look at it again because it's been years since I've seen one. But where we're all coming from, as far as MAD is concerned, is that most of us now are getting up around 30 or years older than that. And when we were all 12 to 15 years old, the MAD originated. And as you probably know, the first 23 issues were a comic book and then it changed to a magazine. And the first 29 issues taken together are some of the funniest stuff that has ever been done in any magazine in this country. And in the days when it came out, there was nothing else around at all, that dealt with that kind of MAD crazy sick humor. So, after the issue 29, the editor ceased to be Kertzmann and became Feldstein. And they made a conscious decision to go for the huge audience. And the tone down some of their more intense kind of satire that they were doing. And instead, now we have,

what's that guy who does a lighter view of suburban parking lots or takes a look at braces on your teeth or something like that. And the whole level of the thing came so low. And most of us are still angry at gains for having made that choice. And financially, it was a good decision for them because they did quite well with MAD. But creatively, we've never forgiven them for having pulled their own teeth. And so basically, in fact, in one of our early issues at the Lampoon did a parody of MAD and made all those points. Gaines was wounded to his soul and will not talk to us to this day. In fact, because he knew we were right. And what we said. So I don't know exactly what MAD is like now. Maybe they've toughened up a bit now that we're into the swing in 70s or something. But basically, what I feel about it is that it's a good starter for people who want to learn what satire is and the kind of humor that pokes fun at stuff that people are supposed to take seriously. That's a good starter for a kid who's 12 or 8 or 10 or 13 or something. It's good stuff.

And I think that after that, it's just not tough enough. A man walks into a nightclub with a beautiful girl in his arm. The show begins and a comedian comes out for his first show evening. The comedian says, A man walks into a nightclub with a beautiful girl in his arm. The show begins and the comedian comes out for his second show of the evening. The show begins and the comedian says, A man walks into a nightclub with a beautiful girl in his arm. Just standing on the front row stands up and says, I've heard this before. The comedian says, maybe you caught my first show of the evening. The man says, no, I just walked in here. The comedian says, well, it was like that. I looked just like you walked in with a beautiful girl in his arm. Could have been your twin brother. The man says, my twin brother is dead. The comedian says, what is this? A wake? The man says, I don't have to stand for this. And he stands up and he walks outside. The comedian says, I out there. I can hear you breathing. The man says, I'm holding my breath. The comedian says, well, I'm holding your wife. Just then the man says, that's not my wife. And he walks back into the nightclub with another beautiful girl in his arm. Who's that lady I'm seeing you with? The comedian says, this is his wife. You can take her if you want her. And the comedian says, not unless you say, please. Just then a man walks into a nightclub with a tattoo of a beautiful girl in his arm eating

elbow macaroni. The comedian says, is that girl from Italy? The man says, no, just hungry. Just then a man walks into the nightclub. He comes riding into the nightclub on a pony with a feather stuck in his hat. What do you call that? The comedian asks. An entrance to the man says, but forget that. Just give me a beer and give my pony a jockey. The bartender says, I think that pony said enough already. Well, make it a short jockey, the man says. And while you're at it, give that lady's lawyer some breeze. The lady stands up and says, I can defend myself, your honor. And the lawyer says, but I'll defend her honor, your honor. The judge says, well, I don't offer it. Make up your mind. The comic says, definitely honor. That's the best off ride I've had all day. Well, take it a leave, it says the judge. Could we just drop it, it says the comedian. He says, well, you better drop leafless before your bum. Well, the comedian says, I'm already bumming. He says, maybe it's your material. He says, you don't think it fits? He says, well, it could be let out a little. The comedian says, how much do you think it'll cost me? He says, it'll cost you an arm and a leg. The comic says, well, listen, can you put it on the cuff? He and the tailor cuts off the comedian's arm and gives him the suit. The tailor calls his girlfriend answer to go out on the town with him in order to celebrate. He calls on his girlfriend and gives her the beautiful arm as a gift. She wears it around a neck just like a stool and they go out on the town.

The man walks into the nightclub with a beautiful arm on his girl. The show begins and the one on comedian comes out for his last show at the evening. He does his act and the audience stands up and gives him a hand. What do you see in the future of Lampoon? It's taking form now. I think whatever it's going to be is currently coming together amongst this new group of heads that are running the place. Virtually all the old people are gone. What are they going to become? I don't know. It'll probably reflect a sense of humor which is more indigenous to the generation that was immediately following my generation. If my generation is, I'm 33 now. If the people say from 26 to 35 or something represent my generation, then we're more and more going to start to see stuff that is coming up from younger people. This is as it should be. If we're going to keep up, have the college audience and continue to like us, we've got to move with the times. They can only think basically humor to come out of the 50s.

I grew up in the middle of the 50s. Even the younger guys like Doug Kenny had some. Basically they're coming out of pre-pot, pre-long hair, pre-politically conscious era. That's the humor of that era. The humor of people from that era reacting to the new era. That's a long time ago already now. It's 1976. Do you have any views on where American humor is going? Safe, just going back from the mid-60s up to 76 now. Where's it headed? I think it's headed towards increasingly tough, powerful, strong, shocking, abrasive material. I think that's a reason why that's required at this time. The world's getting weird and everyone's scared. There are many people who can predict that it would be hard to fault them. We're headed for a new dark ages within the next 30 or 40 years.

Everything's going to collapse from its own weight. We're going towards laughter that can, or humor's material, that can cut through the cotton that people wrap around their consciousness is to not... There's just a drag thinking that we're headed for Armageddon. It's lousy thinking that if we have children they may never live to die a natural death because there may be a total economic collapse or something like that. People don't think about it. That's why nostalgia has been so popular for the past five years and why science fiction is going to be so popular over the next five. Anything but now, man. I don't want to look at now. What that's telling us is that people have wrapped a kind of depression around their consciousness and it takes more to reach them. It's 4.15 outside. It's a beautiful day. Here comes the number one song. We're going to play for you right now.

So rock and roll. The preceding program has been a public disservice of KUNM and Albuquerque, produced in the spirit of free expression. The views expressed are not necessarily those of KUNM, the associated students, or the regions of the University of New Mexico. Fantastic. Now listen before I go, I have a little gift for you. If you'd be so kind, just open it after I leave the studio. Just a little else, no storm into life, you know what I mean? Thanks, rock. Well, tune into my life. Insomniac time, 2 to 6. This is Mel Brewer. I'll see you then, if you're still awake. I'll see you then. you