OutCasting OffAir; The Orlando massacre

this is our casting off air a special feature for not casting public radio's lgbt q youth program podcasting is heard online about passing media dot org on itunes and more than forty five public radio stations affiliated with the pacifica radio network hi i'm jamie you participate and the castings home studio in westchester county new york on this edition of pasture briana reacts to the massacre at pulse a gay nightclub in orlando an overreaction prompted her to reflect on the different realities that straight people and lgbt q people occupy there's something about david a life as an lgbt q person or mostly people just don't get many lgbt q people in a state of heightened awareness and sometimes even fear a lot of street people just don't realize how different i can make your lives they don't normally stop to consider how it affects us to grow up and live in a world where heterosexuality is the norm and where homophobia is commonplace a lot of lgbt q people say that were just like straight people but we're just not we

have the potential to live lives just like the one street people live but the reality of our world right now greets a fundamentally different life experience in the early days after the orlando massacre much of the mainstream media didn't even mention on jimmy gq identities of many of the victims instead they focused on gun policies at a possible connection to isis much of the mainstream media left out the fact that the nightclub was a gay nightclub that this was possibly an act of terrorism toward lgbt q community when i woke up on june twelfth and read that there had been a mass shooting in orlando florida didn't really think too much of it i felt the typical sanders then another senseless act of violence have intimated analyze had likely been lost the census and this became a sense of horror when i learned just how many have been killed or injured and then it became clear when i heard just wear the mask or had taken place

learning that the attack was on the gay club pulse made this more than just another shooting this was personal this senseless act of violence targeted my community people like me i have a friend who attends college in orlando and he's been to pulse a number of times i was scared to call and ask if he was ok because what if he wasn't what if he didn't answer because he was in the hospital injured or worse he let me know later in the day he was fine but he wasn't at the club that night i can't describe the sense of relief i felt he was alive and he was ok but in the hours and days that followed i found myself falling back to thinking about how it could have been him i have so many friends in this community so many people i care about in this mask her brought back the ever present knowledge that there are people in this world who want to intimidate us and stop

us from living our allies as lgbt q people there are people who want to hurt us there are people who want to kill us many of my friends a nightclub could have been me this is a reality that i and many lgbt q people live in the need to filter everything we say every reaction we have in order not to provoke an unwanted reaction influences so much of our daily interactions that becomes almost automatic and we hardly think about how much of our existence we have to stifle in order to be safe we often have to give up expressing our passions and beliefs we lock up everything that might put a target on our backs i'm not surprised by people like the westboro baptist church anymore it hurts but it's not surprising yolanda massacre was a wakeup

call it was a violent reality check for many of us this was so much more lethal than the typical homophobia had previously experienced i was cruelly reminded of just how much work is left for us even with same sex marriage legal nationwide the battle is not over i've come to understand that living in fear is something we've grown used to it's like white noise or tv static consulate there even if he tended to now it's something i've adapted to its second nature to me now to always be aware of where i am when i go places with my girlfriend a laundry list of questions runs through my mind before i even try to hold her hand early on the street late at night how many people around with as aaron generally like in terms of acceptance is there a group of drunk guys outside that point we have to walk past many shrewd people don't understand all the small ways homophobia effects of the bt key people in our day to day lives they don't

see how they're more issues than marriage equality that there are societal issues that color how we live i had to explain to st anne's counselor that not all the kids in middle school gsa would be able to openly tell their parents about club had to splain to a grown woman that for some children time their parents that they are involved with the lgbt q community can put them in emotional and even physical danger she was genuinely surprised and i was reminded of just how naive people can be about this you're wearing a mask there was a horrible horrible atrocity it was a reminder for our community that violent hatred is still out there that there are people who truly want to harm us i do hope however that some good can come out of this as straight allies realize that the fight is not over and that we still live in fear what might happen to us

i hope that this helps put our lives into perspective for the many street people who don't understand it thanks for listening to our casting off they're a special feature for not casting public radio's lgbt q youth program are casting as heard online about passing media dot org on itunes and then more than forty five public radio stations around the country i'm passing off there is a production of media for the public good and nonprofit organizations to get information about our casting make your tax deductible donations what about passing videos access our social media links and listen to the show visit us about casting media dot org thanks and thanks for listening