Report from Santa Fe; Elaine Newport

Thank you. Report from Santa Fe is made possible in part by Grant Strong, the members of the National Education Association of New Mexico, an organization of professionals who believe that investing in public education is an investment in our state's economic future. And by a grant from the Healey Foundation, Tau's New Mexico. Hello I'm Lorraine Mills and welcome to report from Santa Fe. We have a delightful show for you today. Our guest is Elena Newport and thank you for joining us. Glad to be back. Well you are the co-founder of this marvelous group called the Capital Steps and you just celebrated your 30th anniversary last year.

That's right. So you have been putting the mock and democracy for 30 years. This was one of the funniest years on record I'd have to say. I wouldn't have to say so too. But you're here in Santa Fe for the Santa Fe Community Colleges Kate Besser Memorial Award and you're also talking to us about your new CD called. Make the money and run for president. Which is, it's actually the Capital Steps recap of the primary season which was hilarious this year. I mean we had, I mean you remember Newt Gingrich, Michelle Bachman and my personal favorite was Herman Cain. Yes. Well he, I mean we couldn't believe the things he said. He actually wrote a very, very clever, it's just a terrible song about him called love potion number nine, nine, let's just jump right in and let's have a little look at Herman Cain in this year's primary for Republican candidate for president. Take it Herman. Though once I let down my campaign is brewed, so what is dicks for Herman Cain to do? I'll soon be CEO of a company that's mine.

I'm marketing a product called love potion number nine, nine, nine. They'll sell it fine right throughout the land. They love it in Uzbekistan, so ladies now you know that you'll soon be feeling fine and all is going to cost you is nine dollars, nine and nine. Next time you have an interview put some in your team, you'll find that you won't mind when the boss fan funnels your knee, whatever he suggests who will be glad to agree. You know that you will get a job and so will him. I guess it's true what I am lately heard. Perhaps Horace is really just one word. I'll just have to accept that the White House won't be mine. My last approval rating was 0.9999999999. Well there you have it.

I love when he says his approval rating is 0.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999. He was such a great combination of all the sex scandal and the funny of mannerisms and all that, because we also had Newt who was very funny too. You know Newt King are just famous for having three wives and you've seen the Capitol Step Show and we do the show with only two women in the show so we were trying to do a song about called three little wives of Newt and we only had two women and we see it. We kind of looked around and said, OK, who's the prettiest guy? Who's going to be the third wife? And it was whoever fit the dress to be honest with you. Oh, right. Well, I wouldn't give a right intention that they've had a taste. A little of the background, why are you called the Capitol Seps? And please tell us a story of when you were working for the Senator. Right. Tell us, give us your background. Well, we have an odd story because we started in 1981 and we were working for Senator Charles Percy from Illinois. And he was one of those Republican moderates that you kind of read about in history books.

Now, you don't see them anymore. You just, you know, Republicans and Democrats are both on the extremes now. But it was a fun time for satire, Ronald Reagan had just come into office. And we were working for the Senator and just threw this together as entertainment for a Christmas party and thought somebody would tell us to stop or fire us or both. But it's interesting that your first one was a Christmas show. And you had said that you couldn't in all of the Senate, you couldn't find three wise men and or a virgin. Well, that's why we couldn't do the nativity fly. We had to do something else. But at the time, the big scandal was there was a couple, Rita John Ratten, John Ratten. He was a congressman from South Carolina. And he had claimed that they had done something illicit on the Capitol steps. That was the sex scandal of the day. And so we named ourselves the Capitol steps. And ever since then, we've gone after all the scandals. Well, it's like your job security because there will always be scandals. So I'd like you just had this rich primary year. And then what do you do in non-election years?

We're going to look at more of the election pieces. But what do you do in non-election? Oh, well, you worry about that because you think, well, maybe the politicians will get quietly competent and solve the problems. But then somebody tweets his underwear and you're off again. You absolutely have jobs security. Also, I want to mention that you are on NPR. They do two holiday shows with you called politics takes a holiday. Yeah, so our next one is coming up at the end of the year. And it'll be a wrap-up of the year. And by then, we'll know who's present. And I guess, unless it's like 2000, and then we might not know. Right, right. Yeah, well, let's hope that never happens again. But it's just amazing because you put power, mayhem, and scandal into everyone's favorite tunes. And for us, it's such a good way to cleanse our mind from all these toxic, super-pack negative ads. Speaking of super-packed. Oh, yeah, super-packed, right? You have a wonderful song called, well, it's to the tune of super-califragilistic XPL Adocious.

Yes, yes, about super-packed. And so we're going to look at it for a moment. I also want to advise our viewers that because it's lyric-intensive and it comes pretty fast, you can just go to close captioning on your set and we'll have the lyrics there, too. So you get visual, as well as auditory. But let's look at, now, super-packs. The 2012 campaign is here and boy, has it been fun? We are looking at these candidates and how they raise their money. The dough is overflowing and when all is said and done, we suspect they will have spent enough to buy a third-world country. The super-packs are out of whack-excessive and atrocious. Supported by the billionaires whose checkbooks are per-cocious. Their TV spots are piping hot, they're nasty and ferocious. This kind of toxic politics is hitting a new low. Shuss.

I'm the little, little, little, I'm the liar. I'm the little, little, little, I'm the liar. The asphalt fundraising mess began with citizens united. The road came from our highest court, the man he tried to fight it. The pundits are complaining that the process has been blighted. Because that hand feeds the Congress, too, and they don't want to bite. It's incumbent slips are smacking, cause the money is humongous. Let's send them super-packing when we end this little song, yes? No chance at all, they'll change the law. We all should take a long breath. Remember, the word progress is the opposite of Congress. Who thought up that super-past those wonderful lines, talk to me? Well, we've used that song for different subjects over the years. Actually, we had a super recall in California, we used that song before. And it's been a great song. And we actually know the writer of that song, Richard Sherman, who's seen our show at Caltech several times. Ah, well, it took a Caltech mind to come up with some of those rhymes there, just wonderful. And so, let's launch into this year the current political issues, Joe Biden, another gift

right? Well, you know, we were worried that Barack Obama wasn't going to be as funny as George Bush or Bill Clinton. We'd had some really good runs with presidents. And so, it was almost like Barack Obama picked Joe Biden just to say, okay, I need to give it the comedian something. Well, and then, you know, they've tried to keep him out of the limelight just for fear that he'll say something. And that's what your song is about, you can't hide that Biden guy. Right. We have a look at Joe Biden in all his glory. To help me do this song, I've got two very awesome people. First, House Minority Later, Nancy Pelosi. And also, our Senate Majority Leader, Harry Reid.

They're going to help me get funky and break it down for you now. He's damn a classic place in the party. I've got charisma. I know how to blink. I know one likes a guy who's just a smarty. That's why I try hard not to overthink. House Joe could say something way off-kilter. His invitation might get lost some days. Perhaps they all got caught in my spam filter, but luckily, I show up. Anyways, you can't hide this Biden guy. Oh, God knows some people tried. You think by now we'd realize there ain't no way to hide this Biden guy.

For many years, that was a fact he hid. So I put that old horse before the carriage, and I told folks that I knew before he did. You can't hide what people see. So will round you onto me. Our election now will be. Decided by the people who watch Glee. Well, I love that Nancy Pelosi, her talent is blinking. I get to play Nancy Pelosi, and I have to hold my forehead real still for the Botox, and blink my eyes real fast. And that's my whole skill in painting.

That's my impression. You know, Joe Biden does, has a good sense of humor himself. I think he does. But you've had some people that did not have so much a sense of humor. Tell me about some of the reactions you've had, because you've done this for 30 years through so many presidents and congressional leaders. Well, one of the surprises was that most of them are really like they invite us to perform, and they want to see the songs about them. In fact, we had one senator who was very mad that we didn't have a song about the motto from New York. And I think the ones who don't have a sense of humor, maybe it's self-selecting, they don't really come to the show. Well, what I also love about you is that you're an equal opportunity lambaster. You make as much fun of the Democrats and of the Republicans and of Congress people and justices. So let's just take a moment and look at your song about Chief Justice. All right. This is the ruling on Obamacare.

Yes. So this is called, it's to the tune of Mrs. Robinson. Right. So let's have a look at the reaction to the John Roberts decision. We waited for the court to rule against Obamacare to strike it down seemed like a cinch. A five to four decision was announced we thought we'd won. Who'd have thought there was a traitor on the bench and here's to you Justice Roberts. Oh, Obama loves you more than you will know. Oh, oh, oh. Now Donald Trump says John Roberts was also born in Kenya long ago. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh.

We heard the news that sent you rule against the Commerce Clause. Folks are saying you're a clever lamb. But conservatives won't go for universal health. It's the worst idea that Romney ever had. Can we impeach Justice Roberts soon? Judas did the same to you know who? Who? Jesus. Where did we get Justice Roberts though? Liberals at the right now both can claim like everything. Bush is to blame. Well, you not only do politicians, you do sitting Supreme Court Justice, even the Chief Justice. What kind of reaction did you get from the John Roberts song?

Hey, I don't think he's ever seen that song. But the audience seems to like it. That's really our main does. And another congruent contemporary issue is the death of Osama Bin Laden. Well, and the funny thing is you know you think we couldn't still talk about it but Barack Obama is running for re-election. Almost makes it sound like you personally went in there and went pal. Yeah, yeah. This is a delightful song under the sea. So we'll have a look at it. sung by our own Barack Obama. Yes, yes, yes, let's have a look. I had some disagreements with things that Osama said. He saw himself as living while I sort of saw him dead. So I sent some Navy seals in to shoot him in the face. And once they had him reeled in, gave him a last resting place under the sea. That's where he'll be. They gave him three slugs.

Now he's with sea slugs permanently. Now that he's down there in the dark, a sushi platter for the sharks. He'll swim with sturgeons instead of burgeons. What's my next action? How's this reaction? I won't refuse to send a Fox News crew under the sea. Well, that's too catchy. I'm going to be seeing that. Well, that doesn't need to. That's for the rest of the day. You have performed for most presidents. Have you, as is Obama seeing your show? He is not yet. He's doing a good news. Well, maybe after, maybe after November. What is the lame doc, right? I would have a look. But the partisanship and the toxicity has been so painful for all of us. And I know you make fun of both sides because both sides are guilty. One particularly clever one you did was two. Is it Phantom?

It's a Phantom of the Opera. It's about John Boehner, the Speaker of the House. And we had this problem because his skin is so orange. How to portray him. So we did the Phantom and we put the mask on the orange mask. And we have this theory that maybe he's related to Snooki because of his skin color. Well, you also point out you're a lyricist and nothing rhymes with orange. Nothing rhymes with orange. It's true. Somebody said door hinge, maybe. Oh, that's really strange. Well, anyway, so this is a song about how, from one point of view, it could view as unhinged the loonies of the right. This is from Phantom of the Opera. Let's take a look. For now the Congress is Republican. And C. Pelosi's out. John Boehner's in. The Democrats had no cohesive plan. So we brought back the party who was there.

When this mess began. Oh! I'm John Boehner. No with whom you're dealing. I have pain from moving the dead ceiling. Now the followers of me don't drink collate only tea. The results that you all saw election night. Gave power to the loonies of the right. We prefer our ice hockey team with no left wing. We should not let left handers pitch a game.

I am not a coldhearted kind of guy. If you say I'm insensitive, I'll cry. My appeal is that I look quite orange. I just realized nothing rhymes with orange. And so now I'll tell the truth. I don't use a tanning booth to look like steak that's overcooked. The fact is that I'm really stocky is dead. What kind of reaction have you gotten? Well that song is kind of funny because I think that both sides of the aisle like that song. The people who think that they like John Boehner go, yeah, we're the loonies of the right. We're on the other side going, yeah, let's laugh at the loonies of the right.

So it's kind of gets both sides. Well it's also one of the songs that just sticks in your mind. We'll do another topical one that I want to do. I want to talk with you a little more about how you ask you right now. How did you start this? I thought that you did the Christmas show and then at one point you said you had to realize you were only hiring people who worked and had worked in college. And you were missing a lot of work. You remember I said that right? Yeah, well I worked on Capitol Hill and did the Capitol steps at the same time for seven years. And we started to travel and I started to miss a lot of work and they started to notice. And so I had to pick one or the other after seven years and in 1988. I guess I kind of ran off and joined the circus because I left Capitol Hill and went to work for the Capitol steps full time. And now you're also allowing very good musicians, singers and stuff who were not working on Capitol Hill. Right, well about in the first 15 years we were around we wouldn't hire anyone that hadn't

worked on Capitol Hill and then in 96 you know to be honest Bill Clinton had a so busy that we needed to add some more performers and we hired some Washington area performers. So now we're about half and half between Hill staffers and performers. Kind of a nice mix. Yeah and I also like that you there's one song Hotel Arizona that is really appropriate for our contemporary political issues in New Mexico. And that one is one that you really get cheers from at the end. Yeah. We won't reveal the twist. Okay. We're going to take a moment to look at Hotel Arizona and think of it in terms perhaps of contemporary New Mexico political issues. Hotel Arizona. Yeah. On a dark desert highway. Trying to keep out of sight. Like those White House party crashes. I don't have an invite. Up ahead in the distance past the cactus and sage.

I know that I can find a brand new job and make minimum wage. Walking inside the border. Millions stars out tonight. And I'm thinking to myself as places heaven if you are just white. Then I see a big search light head in my way. I get stopped by a border guard and I can hear him say. Welcome to the state of Arizona. Have your papers, please. Have your papers, please. Or you'll have to leave. There is much room in the state of Arizona. If you're darker than. If you're darker than. George Hamilton. So do you stop Susanna Martinez? Serve for her races and purge.

Last week I stopped somebody named. Sonia Sotomayor. Let me check in my pockets up along here, of course. I will show you my proof now. If you will show me yours. Welcome to my homeland. I was born here. Yes, we've been here. Five thousand years. Another hoe we owned the land you're on here. We fought illegal too. Since 1492. Well, that's the one I can never get out of my end with the Native American. Right. So have you done that in Arizona? Oh, yes. And what kind of... Oh, they love it. And I don't know if they're proud or if they're like laugh. They love that song.

I mean, people love to have the jokes be about them. It's kind of like George Bush inviting Dana Carvey to the White House. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and that just shows a great spiritedness. If you can take a joke. Right. And it's so clever that even if it's out against your candidate, you still have to admit that these are good songs and absolutely clever. How do you decide which stories have legs? You know, we don't always know that. You know, sometimes something happens and we're not sure how long it's going to last in the news. You know, there's so many gaps during the convention and political season. Like, you know, the day the Clint East would one out and talk to the chair. You know, we thought, well, we better put a chair in the show. No, I don't know. And maybe in two more weeks or so, people won't even think about the chair anymore. But some issues just go on and on and on for years. I mean, we have a song about Greece, the Greek debt crisis, that we'll probably be able to do for the next 10 years. Well, we're going to close today with your piece called We Didn't Start Satire,

which is to the Billy Joel piece. We didn't start the fire. Right. And you are able to condense 30 years of scandal into this delightful, very fast paced again. We want people to put on close captioning so they get all these references. So we'll have a look at that. Okay. And wish you another wonderful 30 years. Not so much of scandals, but I think they will always be there. Okay. We didn't start satire. We didn't start satire. There's no way you'll know it. Where's the gods are going. If that's the gods on fire, then while it's still burning, we'll learn it. Michael Jackson was right. Can't tell if he's black or white. Florida screwed a band left us all with hanging chats. Derby of batteries. Someone threw a pair of shoes. I'll go and lost the race. Cheney shot friends in the face.

Olympics had the dream team. And the Howard Dean scream. Herman turned a hundred, and Matt Kals began to rant. John Kerry Purple Hut. Today Kusai Blonel Park, remember Ted Kennedy. I forgot my pants. We didn't start satire. Or the uniform or the oxygen armor. If someone is a liar. Then it's not my time. Before it ain't your time. Hans Blix, Bill Frist. Mission not accomplished. Senator Barack Obama, black guy, white mama. Bob LaGoya, which was there. He had Justin Bieber hair. Bob Doe, facelift, sold pills, make you stiff. Tiger Woods, booty calls. Larry Craig, bats and stars. Bernie made up Tom DeLay and Abramoff. LaGona Jail. Tom McCain takes a dive. But El Castro's still alive. A governor. Looks to tail. On the Appalachian Trail. We didn't start the fire.

But with each election, we've got new selections. We would have to retire. If they did their job right. So we will go on and on. Well, my head is spinning. The performers are exhausted. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. I just want to thank you. Our guest today is Elena Newport, who is the co-founder of the Capitol Seps. You can be seen in Washington, D.C. Every weekend. It should be anyone who goes to Washington should see this. Go to capitalsteps.com. And everywhere we are is right listed there. Great. And then you're doing, before the election, you're doing just this mammoth tour. But again, I love to have you on, because it reminds us that we shouldn't get so partisan and hateful and bitter about this. We could sit back and actually have a little fun with it. Laughter is the best medicine. And you bring us much, much laughter. Thank you for joining us. Thanks so much. I'd like to thank your audience for enjoying the show this week

on Report from Santa Fe. We'll see you next week. Past archival programs of Report from Santa Fe are available at the website report from Santa Fe.com. If you have questions or comments, please email info at report from Santa Fe.com. Report from Santa Fe is made possible in part by grants from the members of the National Education Association of New Mexico, an organization of professionals who believe that investing in public education is an investment in our state's economic future. And by a grant from the Healey Foundation, Taos, New Mexico. We'll see you next week on Report from Santa Fe.