Shari's Office: The Miserables: A Finnish Confession

Why. Why. The following is a production of Katy CA. I am a Minnesota original. The women here they like to wear a skirt that shows a glimpse of their legs. And when they see it they pull the skirt so that the legs will not show. That's how they live. And their husbands. They watch a spy series on television. And concentrate on wanting to be a strong good looking rich international hero. And not a boring Finnish slob. And their children.

They keep a pig's bladder back and forth in the cold. Ad nauseum. Wow. Good evening fellow human beings. This is Finland. If you take a closer look it's actually not Finland but the TV center called the lace of the day the goggles and the latest school stuff will be in it on the site.

You got it goat. Here we make mostly TV programs which is quite understandable this being a TV center. My name is let me board it. Yes really that's my name. I'm a TV producer and producer of the program you are about to see him here. He's also a human being. His name is Marcus and he always complains about everything but as you can see he has got his results. Because soon perhaps too soon you will see some episodes of a Finnish TV program called the miserables. Here in Finland we force people to watch it on Tuesday nights. Every bloody Tuesday for weeks on end or at nauseum as they put it because Tuesday is the most boring day of the week in Finland. Even the other TV channel broadcasts in sweeps

which is the minority the language. And the Finns prefer anything to Swedish. Even the miserables. However we will have mercy on the American producer of this program has chosen to serve only one hour out of the eight episodes made so you won't have to suffer more than absolutely necessary. You are about to see the first 12 minutes of the program. And if you want to meet us again after that which I doubt it's up to you. OK let's go and meet Mr Dylan. Michael Scott Hall here we go. Yeah.

Are you absolutely sure your neighbors never have offered you behind your back. Or. Maybe they ask their filthy brides to make imposing nations of you. And then they laugh at you mocking. If you hate your ungodly neighbors get up not. Take your flat on and start banging their water pipes. This is your twisted neighbors were watching this program. And now you have a banging that know exactly what you mean by the racket. So if you were the tottering trouble of yelling and shouting obscenities. Sort of the ventilation shaft. Most useful. I. I assume you've known a friend me for about 40 seconds now and I've already learned one thing you

might find it interesting to see what makes a fein tick. This is a finished elementary school in the 50s. Look at the kids. They have done no harm to anybody. There have probably be more of them in the beginning but the wolves have eaten them alive on the way to school so that's all that these poor creatures that are left. The teachers hate the children on the field explained. That's why fiends hate people who snuff their joy. The headmaster made to go out and stay there taking the bladder. OK. It's minus 44 below zero and most of the kids are probably all thumbs anyway. I don't want to see a lot more help.

Do you have friends that it's not that joints like this. Oh perhaps you have a self-important boss who continuously snaps his ballpoint pen in meetings. And drives everybody else off the wall. If you have to tell them there are about 5 million people in Finland who say that Finns hate people who snap their joints or they're stupid. And if we had the elementary school to day and night we hate it. Were

How do you think we amuse each other here up in the north. Well I went carrying a heavy bag where I saw spare and to keep the balance. When several people doing similar thing as me it looks extremely stupid. And when visiting a hotel. We steal an extra shampoo and soap from the bathrooms. Oh if we make a pro talked where you need to pump us and I mean English because our own language sounds so stupid. Nobody wants to hear it. For example impertinent or fresh is in Finnish. I throw. This into the sound of it. You can hardly say Finnish is the language of the gods. But Danish and

Ocho and ugly of their Finnish. Ask them to say something on your piece yourself. But not before we have heard some music. So you want to know more details about the life up here. All right. Our magic box you saw. Yeah I look. Like Yuri. And the madness picked up just before you take your letter to the box. But a stunt or under a bed the house.

You take your bicycle. And so I can already minus 30 to the nearest box. Just to see the. Bloody way the marks of the magnified. And this is not. Somebody that some city among the best people might wish might be able to get their view that we should. No wonder that load up and also it will surely be a life safety seat which population is known for it's not really your goodness but just like. What I have it. First I was empathetic to him. But wait. There is a library a swimming pool. And several lights which except how people are expected. To. Like other people even diabetics are quite crazy. A lot of them traffic lights don't wander that everybody so many without any research to say.

A lovely paradise. So you are still there. Which I doubt. That the last picture was taken about 50 years ago. Peace is what you dislike today so nothing has changed. The French still speak Finnish and. They wish us things stay the statues with their best and the winters are called upon summers. But there are no bears on the streets. All Russian tanks for that matter. It's the influence of one certain nation. It's quite obvious. He said Sweden. Visit. Russia. The Vatican.

Then I move in the country where Toby I will be thinking not something oh just watching tv been bombed made by the company for me. Saw Russia from by the way from Cairo. Not the sub miles but. My. Coffee or I think. Thanks for talking. All psychologic on. My. Thing. You don't need

it. They tell us to save energy on hot water. Ha. If you don't use your electricity do you think it stays in the cable. No somebody else uses it. Probably your fault neighbor. Who uses it to play his experimental jazz records on at 4:00 in the morning. At full volume. And if you don't use your hot water do you think it stays hot in the pipes waiting for you to use it. Ha somebody else uses it. Probably your evil neighbor. Who splashes it all over his dirty underarms and rolls in it and bangs the bathroom radiator with a brush so your Cannot sleep.

These boys don't buy a rock and roll records. That's why they can afford bikes and share slips of the road. But take a look at this tall boy here. He has spent his money on a portable stereo set and has a rock n roll made him suffer from nervous ailments and clumsiness. Young Person forsake rock n roll. You get a chair sled and a group and line. Show me a thing who has won something in a coupon contest and I show you a live. Nobody ever winds although in every contest everybody feels in at least three coupons with his own on a pronounceable name plus one with his daughter's name. No wonder you see less lethargic people in the Finnish supermarkets. It's really only a. Few smiling things you'll find

among the. Coupon printers and their fucked wives and spoiled allergic brats. In spite of whom we will again hear some music. So right. Wrong. No. No. No. In a meeting a friend never wants to sit in the front row. He's afraid somebody asks him something difficult like his name. During the meeting the friend dogs. All call us the sentence of let us. O'Collins how many times the speaker says well or ong. Oh that's a matter of fact. Seventy two times the Finn reckons.

Gladly. Why do you think the population of the finest Gandhian region looks so depressed. The explanation is in there that if we want to tear their pants open we would see that they wear cheap underwear from Taiwan or some such place. As you know. The elastic all rubber band of perception is ridiculous. Cheap underwear is highly unreliable. You too would look depressed if you spend half of your life with your underwear hanging on comfortably whop way down your legs. And if you spoke a language nobody wants to hear. Now do you want to hear wailing that something

sounds like it came from the purgatory gif in a portable type recorder with your phones and pretend nobody is listening to me. In about five minutes the Finn tries to follow the song and begins to weigh in. With that voice. You could galvanise or call friends names or make your neighbor move away within a week. Even if you were in deficit don't want to have. You grown up person. How do you see your work a day life. Is it just the boring meaningless cruelty. Is it like drinking flat beer day after day. Construct a why you become the X listener and rocking. Hello all. Anybody there you know. Well sooner

or later in this program you will have to face the Finnish language. So let's give you a short introduction to our language. For example when you come to the railway station you will see a locker. In finishing the word locker is marked up about a side dish market about a side of dish. The Finnish words tend to be quite long but they also mean a lot. How would you for example translate into finish this sentence. Do you think that we might someday divorce each other. Yes. It will never make a heart. You know it's just one word and that tells it all. You know the reason why we are speaking about language is that soon you will face subtitles. You dop but we subtitle it because somehow we can't imagine John Wayne speaking Finnish like this.

All the honey political a lot of those in love at the office the bush to do that would have been a liberal. But. Why. Don't give me son how diverse the gun Nick was warmest gold on our list son. Oh then listen to the we're going to look guzzling going stop for awhile on everybody the OK to go I think a school play. But I got to go for you and I don't know what cyclone. Let it go now but I get a good go at it on 0 1 a.m. more than longer than you got accustomed as it does.

The plug oddest saucer when I look at it does say yes there they are yet are used to talk of the Camilla who got married at the dawn aborted to hook up with ducks yucky the rocks. Yeah go through my line and a debacle like that I bet it was the high that I got that got voted Delany's the bottle you know see my last one Mylan and awkward think it don't cost a lot of other sailors Nicette you away most of my luck. But to not believe in the gods idea a plotted allotting. Yeah you know listen I thought of a writing a story based about Soldano about sex against Barack got me thus looks a lot like ya'll again. Well Galileo it was sort of me but a thumbs up woman East in Ally nuclear button I got a boy on so I don't see that in almost any law tonight in Arcadian all oil. Finland is famous for its colorful full cannibalism was here

only in the 60s even now prescribes a fine off $7 for. By paying extra money in certain pressure on. You can however get a nice slice of traffic 24 or succulents. They are both considered especially when driving their MO pizza. These civil servants usually have to help. They never know where someone lies with a birch cloth and borrow a pocket tweedled with that are going to do it to you or if it's an unforgettable experience for you know the Finnish tradition. Well come in. On sickle mummy that very much so out the line that you always have model Yahoo the whole underlies it that I want to hear in a mile and to my horror what music they all look down on the whole throughout that whole NYC is

actualized up that I want to make it out of London who via We dollars yet Dallas Oxus they had no idea that the guy. You know to realize at the level that the minority some of us have us don't get you're talking about less them was double what at the box on the last day. What they've been going on guns I've gone further and say oh my god give me anything ever more than my that I bought up like about cool I got a good night it was all about cool museum a couple guns and then the scene that I live in me that to get on to come back and I will just see the bottom p.s. by. He's here right with them. Engineers have learned them in conditions and then they have been installed in due order to the place using these re what tracks. If you were to walk into Belgium.

What anybody do in Belgium without any knowledge of their language among all those Belgians. I bet they would make fun of you used to be you don't grasp it. And if you have children with you there in Belgium those Belgians are probably on purpose. The children's toys with which to break them. If you had granny. They probably would shoot at the ground like in the wild west meaning jump you. That's how they would be killed. And they would break the stems of your glasses and they would push the broken stems to the government or. They would take your head off your head. They would cut it with nails in the long spiral. And if you had a back they would set it on fire. So let the stupid Belgians have their own country. I really don't know for anything. Where was your Bochum is that the boy like Gonzales or to let any dog groups

allows them if they are going to the poor the other lot of Booker on Scalise you name and a lone CIA annex down someone to talk to you. I think like you saw a ghost of a Dalek a while longer I would posit the name is a lot of bullshit that is so Masaya dossier tickles what I'll buy but not just agrees to do some arse Benteke any causal and double it that a woman who doesn't need to bellow Aussie by name going on a cadet Delhomme said the big doll is soft. He's done and done those yellowed the. 900.

It was only with me and it was at things occur. For those of you who have already forgotten you are watching a Finnish TV program called the

miserables. This short break has nothing to do with the program itself but the finished producer of the program insisted on showing his cuts on American television. The cut is called me and he has been drugged for the filming. Thank you for your attention. They are usually home by a. Year since I was about. But as I got so drunk out of political I do tomorrow and get a good job as he saw it and it took us about see them executed sort of my own bike and I'm going to Israelis you gong gong. Yes it's the Hokies about going they've gone gone boyhood in that didn't you. It's easier to do only Mac. Also I think that is it the gold it doesn't gain other audio for the whole meal. Let me the way home another dog I get a life but the one I was like I said now

you have had to do nearness the core of it and see how little historical goes on both delight us going to it and I know now by the not the lazy mainly out of the pasta bucket to levels and go cost goes to your gonna buy Nic. God except that Doc you know. I mean to say only those of us done a they up out of has a lock on the gun got up or stood to see all of the month nearly I thought that maybe on our ballot it did not go make Angelique in the Goldwater circle MR The bulk of it belonged was a frost was that there are no rest. You think you know it to be Adachi opposed to me has always the Hauraki light out by you need to be a does a hot dog talk to RELIABLE said a couple of souls and is that the reason enough to be. Tryst.

You know schools don't go see that movie. The list I'm in a hotel get out getting gusts. Who's dying out there if you have to say it Hotel de la going to Cuba the thought enough. Then as he did about the logs you know out the oxy I didn't want the logs just about us

if they hauled out the larger studies he was almost a mess because I had to be at the door and good at the time it does I mean it is at the moment bullish about how most of you see Democrats now and I yet again to let it end all of what they thought was your second big you mean it does he hold out the I called my sister and I love about gun money you have lost. Go ahead I'm still nasty. Pay your Minister good luck. Then do not use the same money that somebody on but I'll be at the heart and icons of the deliveries or think I don't let my fellow get caught. Doc se you know and again hello wasn't poor you have good

solid sailed out of the style of what does it almost a yes and who's just sun or against a loss is a loss over cyclical quangos you get a lot of sort of sub big. Budget there is a meet done I'll have a day at the zoo at the door. Yes an ex-U.S.. Yes so it doesn't go all. Yes and as a merely a la you know because I'm a leftist I know my walking into a house and you see laws I am not always sell ourselves. It gets us out because what I'm most Obama and I'm good. There are still people who think that the others would look down. If they would use Marjory. What it called for them to know that in our country. Just in my city. In light of WEISS Well you. Know one who started using Marjorie as. We get. It.

Not a soul. You might wonder what kind of surroundings inspire us so much that we can make these wonderful programs. This. Is the source of inspiration these beautiful clean stare I'll hold Wace or Corydoras. And here is another source of ideas and then there are of course all the other flows up and down. Same as this one. 6 miles so core of course altogether. Shall we look at them now. Nature is a very important source of inspiration for Finnish people. Now I'm going to show you a glimpse of it so you understand. Here it goes. When a freeman goes to the woods he gets many high swinging idea like hanging himself in a tree.

I tell you that I'm just about with much money you get if I didn't like you like me like somebody like him don't seem to want to miss that if I mean we're going to look at that one. You know but I mean I didn't know that he counted on me yet again he was the most of them and don't let them see buddy get there you get to do that I could. Woman maybe to get on top of what in bed was better see if you know it in there somewhere else with a document better think adieux to embody what he could and it would sort of hint that in mystical point of view. You're. You're.

You're. They love to go out on iOS looking gumi Nala someone and oh hold on you Dale among them of the book done thought the phyllo do on iOS nukes equal mean oh yeah San Diego gone ghost got a lot of out of the West and get airco by the whole post that must be tickle me know how be it that we got so it then me neither cow that than me. Well I could say that you know about that or go clinic out there that are going to offset the image of Bennett the liver need to get a sense of my local or what. That only goes to show and give. So I made and that a best seller. I had to let me know Incognito. You are going to resist.

Do you see too much. Looking good would you have a life. It's going to be OK. Is hazing and how it was hollow was about me now was it one day to see Len it did you lose to those incomes Alina he bad not the awesome. And if it dies in it the thought of a lie datagram made of a noble bundle of my own new granddaughter hold they're going to be going to morrow school so but it doesn't end said guns only one boss took it to one of the number got got just a sack of bookie a whole bottle of it do a lies it was about the ballot the dossier of course was about to go into when the deer caught him ourselves. Not at all just the Helios the only love Amata gone does it going to get him I suppose he's old but you know good and evil guy Kimmel can't.

But the huddle day about was above about us that he was going to your stage and he's all Jani. When I met and had a music class at. 11 I was in

for when an Elizabeth thought of my job and I think. That makes. The bottom the only zero. If your tongues happen to know you are watching now the Finnish TV program called the miserables. Yes and the two of us we are at the moment sitting. And standing in a cold shower. It has nothing to do with the program but. We just wanted to show your. Stuff. Thank you for your attention. Yes. And I didn't get to show you the latest stuff.

Mine was so money any less years on go to the name let buckle me it but the man you that asked me yes. And he loved my life because I was going to holloa. They had a movie at the dunny met them and I may go and do you think you see the meat of the guessable I pulled it out running out of time. Did I mean I know and I'm in a pickle. But once a sauce a lot and I mean so and so many of us bawled my stomach got all about a nickel in my lunch forgot the knob on ICE office. I

mean I like you without a name under the name a queer lep aka ME s o them is that all my lifestyle epochal you lie lie lie yet that I have lost a maid in Orlando honey lend about all you so much I look on memento dugongs I but in a song got to have a thousand dollar for dollar cost almost on Amina Lawal beautiful bottom out of keys are gone got that they did talk did you up all right and I sit alone all alone. Baba to go to the back. Of my mind he's like a man. It always searches for new changes. Sometimes a person decides to celebrate by having a long in the program. People are a little suspicious and that gives me a reason why the rest around it. If a person is unaccustomed it may happen. Having been quite hungry. It is

easy to follow all the emotions in the experience. The person looks and sees that price. There are potatoes and me on his plate. The version works calculations. That mean expensive potatoes. Besides. Me. But some of the potatoes on the continent this person ask for a check and pay. Well. But have a sullen. They are afraid that the day goes will be given to another and the rest of us that this why our inexperienced glances around them stars Pierce potatoes with two weeks to reveal the treachery of the Russian. Base indispensable damaging suspicion against the fourth

sector and a small song to the next person. Launch may end with a mix. Of them all. The American producer of this program wanted to find a typical Finnish location and show it to you. What would be a typical Finnish location. Is this it. I. Know. That one. What about this. No way. What about the sauna. Nope the Finns don't sit in the sauna eight hours a day seven days a week so it isn't typical enough. Well most Finns have a summer cottage. Is that typical. No not during the winter. No sane person goes to the summer cottage during the

winter. The conclusion is Finland is too small a country to have even one typical place story. However there is a very typical Finnish way of making movies emerging prairie tent. Two guys sitting in a tent and five thousand Indians attacking. In the United States they would place the comments facing the attacking Indians and shoot 5000 attacking Indians in Finland. We would hire only to Arcturus put them in the tent and shoot them saying Oh ma gold five thousand Indians attacking us. So the only difference between filmmaking in America and in Finland is that in Finland we turn the camera 100 degrees and save our money for really cut. There is

another difference between you and us. It's how we preach during that when. I have heard something like an outhouse and a fish in it. We don't grok toasties on the ice because of the smell. If I have I'm going to be a teacher Yeah

and you know we should be and whom But I do that I think he's beat audiogram So one of these years old and is years old and he's in because you'll get that your goal and to skate he should have Also is there yet another thing we must negotiate. Well I've got you. Boyce you get the more likely dollars you're behind no law local from when I do the most to be day to day on duty and doc who didn't get the love on that alone Eddie said the most timid. You're talking you know an Eddie to stomach. Human beings are very different from each other. Usually. They have different clothes and they have different openings. Sometimes they even have a different opinions on the same thing or vice versa.

That is why it's impossible to know the thoughts of the individual. We do not know everybody. There is the new clues. If you knew all your neighbors well it will take you 10 hours to walk 1 block because you would check there with everybody. This is what happened. But then he would hide in your order groceries by phone. Because it would be so hard to walk on the streets talking to everyone. Being compelled to speak with people living in cellars and at the house shouting their greetings to you. So enjoy the few friends you still have and be home.

Don't ever wish more friends into your life but into your old ones that many by Cece be great people the end of your days. At the bay and the book by August. But you know it's a good day. I see the coral was dominating at the yellow it be like the Kobani but them at the most to see a growth couple finta let eg if you double o going guy Lee Holly and they have be my normal day at just a moment the gussied I think was done a.m. and I saw it on US soil but as nobody walks because I mean in that beard I guess I'm betting on vehicle. Yeah going to get me long gone thus I let my SAY WHEN I THOUGHT OUT OF MY MIND MY YOUNG going to have to wake with

I nod over the widest take a little while to let me log on in a viable. If I make dumb all the How to me I'll go into local thing about the last decade yes don't get me on the whole my yacht to exegete is a given I got so see the boat on the scene at me as I go by. I'll go call it. In line. Tryst. If you still want to follow this program. It's OK by me.

Done getting. Tired and I think it's better to go home. With the one I'm a couple minute everybody my money on a long one. So I mean I don't feel I'm a yes I'm on handgun and I might get. You know my tummy.

Noted. We have tried to draw a picture of the fiends. Unfortunately the portrait seems to be quite an unpleasant one. However there is one situation when a fiend rejoices and he's rather exhilarated. That is when he sits at home in the sala and thinks about his own. Funeral. He imagines everybody is waiting and crying on how everybody will miss him. Then nothing is happy. So to cause a long story short a thing is just like you. A pessimistic selfish bore. Or whatever you do your neighbor keep shouting through the ventilation shaft. This is produced by Keith original.