A Word on Words; 3401; Sarahbeth Purcell

once again welcome to world words i guess to serve both present a welcome sir but there's no word on words your first trip here to talk about love is the drug that's your new book and on heavy heavy here because i read this book and i said now just how much of the dialogue or am i going to be able to talk will serve about in this book are on a family television stations i write or i very and this is a very old someone's used to the word explicit in some ways it's a very explicit book and talking about human relations but it's also a love story and it's a love story love is the drug for your win and tyler cowen tracer where does tyler come from somewhere you say quoting tom and you have time to say you know not everything i write

is autobiographical but a good bet is and i wondered when i read that line how much that survives right to vote by radical not all some i think everyone's kind of a little bit that will my mind always my prepared answer as any author worth his or her salt makes it appear that way so they never really have to lead on exactly what is viacom honestly that the most valuable burden really because it's not that that's a nice it's a nice shorts soundbites but notice but what's become the truth unfortunately or fortunately in certain cases is for some reason i'm a i am a psychic because i write about things that maybe i'm curious about or even that i dread or think about you know treading as if it were to happen to me and then sometimes they happened which in that the

most serious case was the death of my own father he and i read about the death of her father farm before the death of my own father so i found that coming true afterward tyler is sullivan search own anger and their life as we sort of get into this jury and she finds that anger over a strange way and a man who is maybe almost fifteen years older in the mid thirties shoes early twenties he's on the west coast she's right here and they link up in a strange and interesting way i say strange interesting maybe there's generational you talk about how they lay in the first instance well basically iran and i grew up in music as in so i knew about it because of that on the music world is it is all about this bizarre dysfunctional family and everyone knows everyone and down it's it's it's interspersed with all sorts of good for people and it's funny how celebrities or

kweisi celebrities work because they sort of feel like they know each other just because they're both now and it is quote he is a quasi celebrity employed with all agreed that giap the time and i think he's still living in that world and she's not really taken with that because she had grown of the music as as i put myself in that position and in that sense in the book of what how would i react which is you know i've been around these issues my whole life and it just wasn't it's never been impressive to me kind people are impressive to me and i think that's the way tyler is that she's also impressed by his talent and that's something to be very careful of so she knows who we knew she was furious that you didn't know what she doesn't know is a little a leg up the long distance yet his friend of a friend kind of thing which happens a lot just burn it especially when it you know musicians or artists of a lot of sorts or sort of introverts in certain ways an excerpt in other ways i think that

a lot of our side are very good at i personally has always love is a drug sight unseen yeah she's here he's clearing in the lily talk yes as almost like it strange not quite internet affair because they know people who know each other silly but it sure that they're not you know to psych about chinese but yeah there's an odd answer to me so i'm old fashioned to me that's a non relationships now that it's in the it's just it's a sonata waited to get in a salon because you don't really know and you know the version they want you to know you put them together for the first time the burbank airport and she's still looking for and you say it's a load for a site and what it is on his end of the strings low end talk about everyday lives and sell and i think that's the precursor were all told and self help books still that that's the precursor to to

letting anyone else but i think even worse i think that he has such a distorted view of women in general and darned if he loves them that as a weakness to him and so he must destroy them before they destroy him and so i think he dies love her in a sense that he can and then when he realizes that he must get rid of her now calls a sweetie pie sweetie from the first moment israelis than i am at a hint of the last moment which is really false she's taken the close and looking for a solo anchor she know the other house and i woke up house it turns out but which is willing to move in man take up with them at the outset you have her shopping for whites and older lights she's a smoker he's a smoker

but then she says she learned so much that she would buy the cigarettes are even smoking self that life here co dependency takes many forms of solid middle age and why doesn't say in there that sort of implied i guess is that she's smoking because he is right she's a person doing two lists are you a person doing list yes that is an autobiographical part but not the surplus i was hurt you know what to do in a day and things i want to do not necessarily in life to make me happy that things i wanna next year things i you know and not things but moments feelings so i do i will you disperse your chapters and there'd be an emotional moment and then there will be a list of ten things and most often those ten things are related the emotional moment talk about just as a writer how it divides that scheme of injecting

louis which you upper leg into the life of tyler i thought with with the list of top ten things she wanted to live because obviously that was the one i started with that was the basis of the story really we don't get that list until very late and then we have to sort of cherry pick to find i mean i was not a fact i wrote them down during an end and i missed i had ten but i'm made a mistake somewhere along the way and when i finally got to your to the very end and i discovered my mistake but in your utah well it's just the basis of the story so i thought well obviously she makes less that are far less important i remember being a teenager and thinking of where my favorite my ten favorite actors and where my ten favorite bands and and everyone does it in a sense in their head and she just happens to put to paper and the thing that's

important about the list for her is i think that her only way because she grew up in a dysfunctional way her only way to get some cement ideas about who she is strangely enough less for her help her because then she can look at them and say ok that's why like ok that's why and i think that's the way that she actually deals with her strange and terrible really tragic relationship with david is i have to write these things down so that i can get the strength to do them david byrne evolve and if it's love with him giving in love with her as a drug for david and you suggest that maybe it is a strange different non addictive drug known but he also had another drug of any attention she comes home with the cigarettes and there is a live video games oh sweetie again and again he is so cold so crude not message

cool name but he's also very cold here you and your writing to come off as that distant i think i wrote in soon come off as sound sick mentally just sick but in a functioning why he's accomplished things in his life he's somehow if it's like a hound high functioning addict of some sort and he is an addict of different things but at this point in his life that happens to the video becomes it could be anything and if you've ever been high functioning and had you know an issue of something and he figures his past successes are enough if you should ever take a solo vacation and he feels as if he's entitled to treat people with such an utter disregard because he he's talented and he's been told that you know music is his salvation you know and she just wants a little bit just a little bit so take a little bit to

keep going because she's used to getting that that's the way sugar up is getting a little bit just a little bit more than the little bit that she gets almost as always helpful in and that's about as much as he's able to do there and that force and that force and it's not emotional which is it you know that that's forced for him because you would think with females especially writing a male character that would be all he was interested in this is not always the case with human beings specially and mentally ill human beings or addicted human beings it's always the addiction that's far more important that's the mistress in the relationship whatever it is he comes on me go through her father is sick so ok that's cold cold and thick lips i think he

figures because he's had such a bad life himself and he's unusual in that it's a narcissistic he doesn't see that everyone's had a bad time of it in a certain way and it's not your fault but it is your responsibility to overcome those things and he's so obsessed with himself that he thinks yeah kind of our pantry that can suck says she has a friend karen and there is an early on conversation with karen in which she is expressing her frustration move about the relationship in that conversation she sort of tries to make karen think it's alright but then she tells the truth and karen says you're sick i'm karen says you're sick after thomas or something like that promises all i really want is for somebody asked me how i am

and really care about it right in and i sat down i figured when i wrote that i think that's how every human really wants is to feel like they matter to the world and especially to at least another human being what would you say if i said that was a little less for some reason someone book i think you might be right and it might be a famous in fact you know that it's really a search because everyone has made it so far anyway when i get fan letters or when i get letters to my publicist asking you know what is this really what you wanted what you would say in the stock analysts say you know she's really a search for something that she never quite a hat every human's and search or it's a story about a human not necessarily a female and she just wants someone to show her general concern that someone or cares about her and she feels

quite like a piece of luggage that needs to be claimed a piece of luggage that needs to be fine for those of you just tuning in i'm talking to say about herself about her new book love is the drug you open with service that's really not me you know been out on at the roadkill the only thing i think is autobiographical is probably an there are a few things actually earn some things became later as it is my father dying but the only thing that was when i wrote it and it is a top ten list of injuries but i hadn't heard it and those were my injury so you're intently as actually injuries that you have are on the side of a highway nerves us approval and you know really tell us how he came to be there by this

automobile with a flat tire and they don't tell us who's coming down the road to find that comes much much later in the book so talk to me about it what it was hard for her a flat iron in iraq and near accident in really some call a lot of frustration that finding a sense of as i go through bone why would somebody be at that point her life right what puts someone at that knowledge or i don't to revoke me as a reader moving probably i think that's where my desires is that offer mostly is is to affect people but not to shock people just to get them to a point where they understand where any human being would be because i think it has ever been and that point my life where down the side of the road with a broken perhaps you know blue ribbon beer bottle at my rest

by you want if you if you ever want to understand a character you have to at least try to put yourself there and she basically came to a crescendo is you set of of just events that just became too much for her and she realized that she was sick and she realized that even though she kept blaming everything on david that she might be just as sick as he has in a different way and every wooden well as somebody who's taken away she knows most are for and she has to go home and just to be there and there's a list of ten things that a terrible about about you and about death and it's clear that her relationship with a father even though she clearly loves and his feelings of guilt i think i know she must go home there was something about their relationship is also rather streisand

there's a call this is a call was clear as the calmness and there's a un and the misunderstanding there's a child trying to be the adult in the relationship because that's elation as huckabee and perhaps has followed that same thing with david cohen and she hates in this just a loss and clearly show on raising your own you know so a musical background to it as and i have i'm much closer relationship with my father than she dead and he was always the first person i gave my books too his myspace than always found about how explicit he somehow made it through them and down and really really supported me just to be his last day and he heard about my book deal before he died listener said he was very happy for me and there is sort of the closest for before he does though and part of that i guess is her dogs and you don't say so but maybe

has two absolutely i think he always knew he was going to die here he keeps saying you know and he says that god never gives you and when you can handle he has the little sayings that upright and cliche and she really is sort of down on religion and down on mars saying it i have a sense that right up to poor and she's a very cynical person wright absolutely and i think that so many people are especially my age i'm just i think growing up in an environment where television is cynical and everything's about reality it's in your face and don't be a joke in and don't be cliche because we get these sitcoms you get reality television where everyone's of bizarre indifferent or you get sitcoms where were the cliche and that's it there's no happy me in there so i think we've been raised to own completely just trust

anything that's given to us spent that says she is she is that bad and that hopefully other far more spiritual person who believes in invisible things i think she comes to believe in invisible things obviously from events that happen it's almost as if there is a crushed her own her heart and they all along that seems able to pierce that crust they and not even henry and he never really gets inside are hardly gets inside our head and schools are up but you can be even worse if you had to make your heart do a lot of stupid things that i think that she that's that's the reason she chases david so mercilessly is because she knows that you're never get your heart and that's a safe way to go about trying to get someone in a relationship now before a father daughter is he writes a little note where

he finds one of the ten were lists of ten things and the note is quite something and she gets it and she finds it after his death and thought he was what that note he finds a list that she may pinch as a teenager probably desperate and been looking for answers and it says totten things i want to do in life and he gives her the lowest her mother hands out letters that he's written to all the children's obviously he knew he was going to pass and at the bottom of the list a chess as well what's stopping you will what's up and you and that was about as close to a love letter adjective roy it to her and it was more meaningful and he wrote an absolutely because it was what was important to her she had someone sang this was important here so it's important to me do it

there's a general concern that she'd been looking for the now he's dead talk about those two things that were important in her life is only one word about martial arts is that well i grew up in asheville and it's such a childish desire in and i have plenty of friends heard would like to think of themselves as gypsies you always say you know i can lose was and this was an invariably everywhere they go they always come back here it's a great place to live you know it's this happy medium of town art and commerce and there's so much that hadn't found because of one or another and commerce that does matter which for my father who worked in it was heavenly music and country music specifically and i detested it and still do so i try to get away from nashville i think as a teenager in my head because i thought i was i just there wasn't any

idea of nashville and i realized there are many other ideas i had gotten into the book and beyond that note before ari was that you're not going to give me the full list of ten no you do it and it suddenly dawned on me fama found out on that go back and re read as i jotted them down as us on them and so this is a known for portland this is at get a valentine from thinking as is it get our natural beside the live stop smoking stop drinking huh and do what's best for you and not the best for the moment the one that made the most sense will do what make sure that

they and their would make sure that that oath and she literally sets out to do with illicit physically physically goes about the process because he's are nothing but throw it just like her father just like her father which she doesn't realize at the time that's the funny thing is i mean not to give away the ending but even in the ending she says following a pattern here when you started writing this book did you know about the ending did you know how it would come out i knew that it was and i knew that it was going to be an ending of that could be interpreted many different ways because in all of my favorite books that's the way the endings were it cause it gives you pause and ending its good to me it makes you think now not confusion but just how could that have gone we say really need it to talk to someone about this and that happened recently with a friend of mine

we had both read a book on my diary and cultures have to talk to someone about it because we thought you know what are the implications of the ending where all the implications of now that we've got the ending the meanings behind everything else about what people as you did to go back through it now and think ok now start smoking seems like such a small thing but it's far more about stop being self destructive stop doing things because someone around jews during the many feel like what i'm feeling what they're feeling maybe i can be in the same place was it inevitable that her prince charming table in the boss i was going to be a musician i think that the pattern i think that something i've come i come out of it knowing david so well and not knowing parker at all except that the end parker as sir the question for you that he wants to know the answer and a fashion is out on ships and i'm very well i did you know that did you

know that you in this book was someone who would ask her a question about her low i don't have to have been loath to which he was addicted would never speak i don't know if i really thought that i thought i knew that's what she wanted and i thought let's give her a little bit of mercy i guess because the elders are a lot of that i think that yeah maybe i think i did i think i knew that someone lied and even though she is following a pattern that may later to another disastrous relationship at me she got that and now she can figure out what you what's next i sent home assuming that it might not be parker but that she's found it was right and he's just an impetus and isn't that great that she found an impetus she's not claimed like baggage here anymore she doesn't feel like a piece of luggage anymore she's actually a human being and she's getting treated like one for live alone was a good cheese get the least

for short periods bloom she's she's found she's found a way to control at least which is all in a nice illusion of controlling something that the drug we have just about a minute left and what your next book this is not a love song is coming out in april two thousand sex and it's by your relationships and it sound less narrative and more letters and diary entries in conversation i'm walking right now i'm finishing a book of thirty country and they're excited about it with several mr brosseau no killer it's been great to have is here and great to have all of you here and johnson and go forward on words keep reading