Death: The Trip of a Lifetime; 3; Letting Go

Some years before she died the actress Joyce Grenfell wrote this to her friends. If I should go before the rest of you break not a flower nor inscribed a stone nor if I'm gone speak in a Sunday voice to be the usual friends that I have known. Weep if you must. Parting is hell but life goes on. So sing as well. I'm Greg Palmer this leg of the trip of a lifetime is about partying and singing and life going on. With. Me. I think we might just as well start now. Thank you for coming on this lovely

day. I know it must have been difficult for many of you to take time away from your football games and your yard work to be here with us to say goodbye to our friend our coworker our brother Greg Palmer. Perhaps like me there are some of you who didn't know. Personally. I myself never had the pleasure of meeting him but I'm sure that you would agree with me that those who did know him seemed to miss him now. The rest of us share in their loss. And speaking of loss if I might read from the Prophet by the immortal Ron Greg's favorite poet in Lhasa for. Staging my own mission role seemed like a good idea. Although there are some people who found the concept creepy They say he was good to his family too. Some of whom are with us tonight. I do have an historic precedent for this. Holding a trial run funeral used to be very popular. Of course the plague of 13

48 had a lot to do with that. My plague ridden European ancestors especially the Spaniards became very interested in the art of dying what they called ours morion surrounded by horrible deaths. They saw the good the pre-purchase the requiem masses rehearsing their own dance and staging practice funerals. They fought such preparations would make the real thing less frightening. Before I forget we do validate parking for the lot across the street just as I mean sides. Don't we all fantasize about going to our own funeral seeing our friends and relations heartbroken hearing our praises sung. This is definitely not working for me and it's not because there are new trumpets or grieving millions either. Something else is missing something that should be here. Perhaps the whole affair is outdated. Maybe that's what's wrong with modern funerals.

They're not modern enough. And a funeral parlor in Osaka Japan you can now get an up to the minute high tech laser light in hawg of facts that show the bereaved but the deceased is about to experience. Funerals reflect the values of their society. In Japan. Technology has become a high art in America. We've made an heart out of. Someplace and that's reflected in our funerals. Here at the Jr. funeral home in Pensacola Florida. There's a special drive through window that lets you view the deceased without ever leaving your car. When we first opened it was a situation you had a couple of you know homes here that were pretty prominent and most people called the funeral home saw a funeral chapel way and then other than that they do not come if you know him in a funeral you do not have that many people coming

by. So we thought we'd put in the drive through one day and I wanted to have people coming put their reason and ask to see one so it had basically become a tourist attraction a lot of people come by and say well we saw it on what's way or than we see it so it would square with a question on how was Korea there's a a funeral home in Pensacola has a drive through window and they say the answer no. But it was true. They do come by to see it. So in fact it was it was almost strictly promotion. Strictly strictly. Even if a drive through window seems crass and horribly American at least Willie Jr. is honest about his motives. But the question remains what do funeral rights have to have. So they work for the mourners and they work for them or need to. Anything anything like to say about their friend right. Anyone. I didn't even know the guy. Well I guess we can wrap this up there. So thank you for coming.

Human beings are still animals and like all animals the only thing we really have to do in one of our species dies is get rid of the body. That sounds simple and in some places it seems to be in the morning. I mean Dr. Joye Carter is on the cutting edge of getting rid of the body literally. The Chief Medical Examiner of Washington D.C. This is a predator. The Sacramento area and Washington unclaimed bodies identified bodies that are held over 30 day by law are to be cremated with the bodies way over 30 days sometimes for a couple of

years and we're not sure if there's a family in the area. Joy Carter follows government regulations but she does even more than is required because of her compassion for the people who come to her dead and their families. She can't give them much but she tries to provide a last moment of dignity. You often wonder as you're examining perhaps a homeless person or perhaps a very elderly person all alone and the body is still here. Somebody somewhere knows something about the person they might have a family somewhere. Those things really do bother you and they're quite senseless. So those individuals at least here I think they're getting the last respects that we as strangers can give. What we have today is a Middle East of slightly more than middle aged slightly obese male deceased who we understand the cause of death was an appendix liver condition complicated by alcoholism.

So at this point let's. Uncover the deceased. The more I watch people getting rid of the body the more obvious it becomes that the process is never simple and I would suggest let's get some water that we can use the Way We Do It has acquired profound meaning for both individuals and their societies. How it is done reflects our feelings about ourselves each other and death. One of the interesting ways Americans get rid of the body is to first make it look a little less like a body. It's called embalming and a lot of people around the world think it's a bizarre practice. Six out of 10 Americans go into the fire or the ground in bomb. How come other cultures look at American bombing Western and bombing and say that's weird. Because bombing is is simply a step towards the viewing process that is having the body out on display for someone to come up and physically have a one on one relationship with.

Look at. What is really important. Psychologists health care professionals mental health people have pretty much consistently come to the conclusion that part of the grieving process can be accomplished through a physical doing of the body. A finality a period at the end of a certain hydration on the side of the face is going to be the healing side that is the family the friends are going to be seeing this side of the face so that's something that post and have to pay attention to to make sure that we can minimize it. It's possible. Yes I do. Personally. Because some believe that the culture you spoke. To communicated interest. We're now ready to decide what vessels we're going to do with when to act and drain the body fluids in this channel. So at this point I'm going to suggest for today's.

Purposes that when you write common carotid and the accompanying vein that follows the right come across to the right juggler vein and SAC quite as much of the blood we can remove prior to adding a preserving solution. Discoloration. We're going to have. To help stimulate it's a lot of the force of the see how things are actually quite elated the. Blood is. On the legs trying to bring some of that blood towards the towards the heart. When we finish with someone and we dress them in a casket in a min they look like they're sleeping and we know that when their family comes in they're going to. Shot that scene one person. It's a Wonderful for. The man on the table donated his body to medical science. It was apparently the last gesture of a mostly unsuccessful life. But medical science didn't want him so he was

handed over to mortuary science. Other than those few sad facts I didn't know anything else about him. I never even knew his name. And bothered me at first I thought I should care enough about him as a human being to at least know who he was. And then an odd thing happened. After 20 minutes with him in the mortuary he wasn't a human being anymore at least for me. Not even a dead one. He was just another object in the room. The metal tables big needles and piece of work that had to be done. We sometimes laugh at the people in our society who get rid of the bodies for us or we accuse them of being callous and unfeeling but we owe them a lot and not just because they do a job most of us find repugnant. Joy Carter are callous to the dead in a way. They have to be to do their jobs professionally. But because of them we don't have to be. We can remember our dad is they lived as people. And not his carcass. You're there when you're ready to go. That route you told her to

have no thought until you are sure that their oil but it wouldn't make you royal good. Want to. Recover. In West Africa. Dr. K. Tang is the chief medical examiner in Ghana. He's gotten rid of a lot of bodies in the 30 years as a forensic scientist and stored a lot too. This is your father. Yes. And he's being very. Good at it. Because funerals are so lavish. It can take years before families have raised enough money for a proper burial. Meanwhile most bodies are kept in doctor. Many of them frozen solid. Here. He. Is in the single event it's a process and so is a funeral ritual inside his building. Dr.

Tang officially performs his function in that process the first step in physically getting rid of the body. But all day long just outside Dr Boyd hangs back door. The community is beginning. You're motional part of the process. They wait here as the bodies are delivered for that day's funerals. This simple delivery is in fact the start of the ritual so they don't just send an undertaker around to pick up the body. The friends the family the community of the dead person all come. To pray to grieve rejoice. And in this particular case. Take grandma home to her village for the last time. Her. Community involvement seems to be very important. The entire funeral process. We don't

just get rid of the body. We care a lot who does it. In a Sydney Australia funeral home. Two young women prepare Mr. Phillips for a last visit with his family. Michelle and Linda are white ladies and the white ladies are the biggest thing to hit the Australian funeral business since the backhoe. It's a funeral home operated entirely by women but certainly not entirely for women. A caring alternative. I think it's my only because it's women myself as caring perhaps for me and

I can rely to us a lot better I think in some cases with young children by these. Time sexual community. I prefer someone with a husband because such a woman I want to be done by lighting them. I'm with you. Do you think Mr. Phillips was not a baby homosexual or womanizer just an old man whose family like the idea that caring women in white rather than support cruel men in black would handle their dad. Part of the stuff you like so much you know actually working with your beloved. Wife.

I suppose because I'm a wife from everyone up until 19. I chat to him and I just. Feel more comfortable once a board secretary with a lifelong interest in dead things Michelle has found herself as a white lady. And the grieving found her. The belief that women are naturally more caring than men is ancient. The Greeks say women bring you into this life and women take you out. In many cultures women are expected to prepare their bodies comfort the family above all. Women are often designated. These images are from Teri's where there are hundreds of

statues of exquisite face in form grieving at the tombs of men. Photographer David Robinson tells me he's never seen a cemetery statue of an equally grieving barefoot naked beautiful young man statues of men in cemeteries are almost always portraits of the deceased usually prosperous businessman gazing serenely into the future and the few real women who make it on the cemetery pedestals are almost always mothers surrounded by their adoring marble children. The barefoot virgins do not weep for them. The virgins are exclusively lying on the feet of the prosperous businessman

and some people can't understand why the white ladies are hit. And I was like Listen. And then I put myself in that situation that I was once in the zone that you made everything that lets you do that it's just a business. Bill Gross is a funeral director not far from the White Lady as it. Builds family business reflects an equally compassionate tradition that of the community itself. Getting rid of the body. Yes I'll try to get in touch and thanks and I think Bill's clients are often his neighbors who come to him as a friend who knows what to do. Not an undertaker peddling coffins and Bill's place of business reflects that sense of community. The groves live where they work. You know when I don't have any I just will be there the whole stride next door. We seek compassion from those in the community who get rid of the bodies whether they're strangers

with a caring tradition like the white ladies or friends with a caring imperative to grow his family through such involvement. The community supports the grieving rather than leaving them to face their loss alone. The funeral itself is a very important social of it. Socially it's the way they're not on the bus of life. Julian Linton believes community involvement in funerals has a lasting benefit for the community to not just the grieving. Clinton is an expert on English funerals and a collector of hewn aerial art in artifacts. William Blake has never wanted this is I think it's a maze is that the models show the type of thing you could have complete with the lighting as well. Death masks coffin samples and funeral prints and photos. There's no rule that you get your. He says that getting rid of the body has always brought the English together.

The English of it especially and in a large village or a small town is a great catalyst. It has been for very many centuries in England and that maintains itself today in exactly the same way that people remember affectionately the commodity that existed during the last war when even though your house was bombed the person next door but one would make you a cup of hot soup and then patch you on the back with it there that day. So it is in English society today with the funeral. The funeral is a community catalyst isn't just an English phenomenon. Worldwide. This is automatic in a shanty village in central Donna. Edmund was born here of royal blood. He left to seek his fortune in the army.

Now 59 years later he has come back to be buried by his community with honor that is he's due. It was a great soldier. You've got many many more bottles. He was a respected. Face in his society. Because. He was very. Traditionally the Ashanti don't have undertakers is the community celebrates the life of Warrant Officer I'm a wacko. So the community buries him. Ashanti funerals especially for royalty take place over three days in feature a

series of events beginning with the preparation of the body and lying in state. He spent a lot of time and money on funerals. It seems ostentatious and I guess it is but Asian is an obvious measurable way Ghanaians can show their involvement in the ritual. Fred and his family chose to spend their money on the ritual itself. But the most famous free money spent goes into the ground. These fantasy coffins created by Benjamin So while his employees are spectacular works of art at spectacular prices. But if the families feel better for buying one and the deceased is comforted in the last days knowing he or she will be spending eternity in a fish or rocket ship. Why not. And community support demonstrated through extravagance is hardly unique to God.

There we go to the finest wood casket made this is a African ribbon grained mahogany casket with a solid bronze full glass in a casket or ceiling. Frankie Campbell's a New York City is probably the most famous funeral parlor in America. They got rid of Rudolph Valentino his body here in 1926. And a lot of other big name bodies since you don't come to camels for a pine box with plastic handles. You could be in this room and you could just select the least expensive casket and the fuel bill could be around $4000. All expenses or you could be in this room and use our most expensive casket and you could. Have a funeral bill eighty nine thousand dollars.

And that eighty nine grand doesn't include the cost of the plot of the monument. You know Ariel ostentatious is easily criticized but like all aspects of community involvement it serves a purpose. A death creates a hole in the fabric of society to repair that hole to show that life in society continues even in the face of death. The community must reassert its presence and indestructibility irrespective of the cost. The. Community involvement and expense are also integral parts of this Athabaskan potlatch near Fairbanks Alaska. Neil Charlie and his family are hosting a community farewell for Neil's son who drowned two years ago this last event of the Athabaskan funeral ritual might

seem odd to outsiders because these people believe the deceased should not be mentioned. So his potentially dangerous spirit won't come back to the village. Everything he own has been given to people who are important in his life. Now his father presents expensive gifts like guns and blankets to all who attend the farewell. A thanks for their support but also a way to redistribute wealth within the village. Thank you. There's another practical purpose to the Athabaskan ritual besides redistribution of wealth. Other cultures struggle with what constitutes a proper grieving period because their traditions don't tell them. But here there is one last song that tells the tale of the son's life as he sings Neil hit sticks together hitting them away from himself to push his son's spirit

back into the ground. And then the boy's life on this earth and the grieving for his death are over. No matter how much he was loved to be allowed to get on with life must be a relief for the family and the community. The relief of not only knowing what you have to do but how long you have to do it. The Chinese have known what to do and for how long. For centuries modern efficiency hasn't changed that. A recent development in Taiwan is the United funeral one priest one service. But up to 10 bodies and attending families performing their ritual tasks together. United funerals take place in government complexes like this one. There is a spiritual

benefit to such group ceremonies because of Geomancy. The Chinese believe in the right day and time for ritual events. United funerals allow many more families to bury their ancestors when tradition says they must. After the group ritual the cremations are individual events occur at the compounds of a. To save space and money. Nine out of ten times armies are cremated now. These ovens are working all the time. The grieving families have precise tasks during an after a cremation. Small shrines to their ancestors at the proper oven and then they wait to perform their duties to the dead. Look. For those ancestors not remains an important part of the Chinese

funeral ritual is the eventual examination and re burial of the body. This symbolic resurrection happens in many cultures all over the world physically moving the dead to a new earthly home and emotionally to a new spiritual. One cheese and eggs a mission specialist. Taking the bones of long buried ancestors and carefully placing them in ponds. And pattern dictated by ancient fossils. Good luck for an officer on the Marco's way here too. Ancient customs provide mourners with the social contact with their grief. And minimal Wacko's families. Here is mother and widow and their sons and they

know exactly what to do because their traditions tell them what to do. Traditions including the recitation of ancient proverbs that speak of life and death had. A. 37 year old Australian Shane Richardson was a trucker always wanted to drive a big one way. It never happened in life but now in death. It will. I have every confidence this man who was faced with that great problem that we all will have one day of his death and he faced it privately.

He was in there going me. He was quick to befriend a total stranger. He was also quick to help someone especially if he saw a truck broken down or not fixing a truck or anyone facing a truck. He would go in and help. Under the direction of Bill Grove. Shane Richardson will go to his final truck stop in the Big Kenny he wanted with his mates following behind in their own truck. By making his funeral procession upon his mourners have something to do. Something familiar to them still honors their comrades. And the whole event tells the story of Shane Richardson's wife in a symbolic way. He was a trucker. In most death rituals the community is somehow involved and has things to do those tasks very great cultural rituals. But there are some that always seem to have. One of them is telling the tale of the life itself. Whether that's a simple

eulogy or a great deal more. Telling the tale is not always easy. It will never be easy for Irish village undertaker Benny Martin. Is son Eugene was a soldier but to many others. Eugene was a terrorist. He got what he does are. Japanese Chinese by their very modern nice bunch of them where. They can land there. Sean is in less than a day with my son who lives there to the left of the left of the publican. Eugene Martin was a member of the Irish Republican Army killed in a bomb explosion and he's grief is complicated by the hatred so many people have for what Eugene represented. But Benny adjusts. He tells the tale not of the terrorist. But of the Son. What's your best memory of

growing up. And how many at the funeral. It's over at my parish. Last year it was and I. Love doing it Love come and I see you know having it where with a band and if I understand. Any good strength and courage from Eugene's memory and in return he mourns for his son as if Eugene died last week and not in fact 18 years ago because much of the world thinks Eugene Martin doesn't deserve any grief and he will grieve alone forever. Even if it means a life of constant sorrow. It's the only sacrifice he has left to make for his son. So we pay him everyday I think. If you want to. Volunteer. Easter already have the family.

And I want you. To fall. In awesome and Ghana is an Ashanti elder resides the tale of the life and begins his last day above ground. Has been prepared laid in state in had a wake. Now he will be moved from brass bed to coffee. But even this simple transfer is a communal religious emotional ritual. At the same time people are gathering from all over the Ashanti for the funeral celebration funerals or away the Ashanti get together and exchange news. A side benefit to community involvement that happens everywhere. Chairs have been placed around the

town soccer field. The band is ready and the family receives the guests and their money. Yes and Ashanti funeral pay to attend and honor the deceased. An Arab model. Then there is singing dancing. The presentation of yes and there is joy. Successful funerals must provide an opportunity for both sorrow at the death and joy at the life that preceded it. Finally there's what's called a lift carrying the deceased down the streets where he lived to his final rest for the family and friends have been minimal ACO. It is an emotional journey full of anger at death itself. The end.

Right before they carried Atmananda Wacko's casket through the village to his burial a considerate family member told me I should probably disappear. The man will be very angry she said. They may be looking for someone to fight. And because I stood out in that village like Moby Dick I saw that lift from a very long way off. Afterwards I asked a village elder why the men were mad rather than sad or joyful. Their anger seemed to be out of character with the rest of the funeral. It is because they are very drugged he said simply. In a shoddy funeral tradition. The family of the deceased is not allowed to eat for three days but they can and do drink heavily. At the time I thought that was a tradition they could just as well do without. In retrospect though I realized I've never been to the funeral of someone I cared about. When I wasn't angry at the fact that they had died. Like everybody else I repress the anger

which made the sorrow worse and the joy difficult. As you've seen in Ashanti funerals. There are many opportunities for joy and sorrow but there's also one moment where people are allowed to be mad. And that makes sense to me. We here commit the body to you friend shine. Through the ground ashes to ashes and dust to dust. Shane Richardson has made his last run and he is his last cargo truck driver who would like to. Give China tribute. And there is a final event of sorrow and joy. A 21 gun salute by Shane young son. Last thing he can before he. Decides never again. I'm boming out of context and devoid of meaning.

Different cultures funeral rituals can seem strange or even silly. For instance a funeral in Osaka. The laser finish represents a tradition of carrying the deceased through the streets. It's been a part of Japanese funerals for centuries. And it comes during the last few minutes of an otherwise traditional Buddhist ceremony. A ceremony in which the community of mourners and precise duties and the tale of the life is told. This is the funeral of Mr. Osama. He was an educated highly respected man loved by his family as his daughters take their last opportunity to see him.

There is grief. And as the body starts into the tunnel towards the laser light that initially seems so bizarre. If there's more to the laser funeral than meets the eye is there also more to Willie Junior's drive through window in Pensacola. Yes much more. The woman in the window is Margaret Jackson. This is her. Never seen a more communal sorrow. Joy. Thank if the sister stayed with us as long as the

taking of a family. That she made in preparation for known one of us is coming home to me. She was that she was not. How do you know that Lance night she woke up with. I can imagine in my own mind to come oh my god really.

I really. Am not. Going to be misunderstood. Go with me. I'm like you I hate. To give up but we got together we can do now is make preparations to meet up be have to give it up. And so Margaret MacLean into her final reward ever night emailing said we had to give her up and let her go. But we did it in a way that honored her life and her faith in Arthur Miller's play. Death of the sale Linda Loman says of her husband Willie attention must finally be paid to such is not to be allowed to fall in with rain like a dog. And she must be paid. And that's what

we pay attention to. I'm remembering the names by seeing the body one last time. Not quite yet by telling the tale of the life and the memory alive by involving the community and giving them tasks and by expressing grief because we have to let her know joy as she lives and where she's going. We pay attention to our dead in many ways even when they're strangers. It's one of the nicest things about human beings and it's what was wrong with my funeral. The only one paying any attention was me. And when the established rituals aren't enough or have been forgotten or rendered meaningless when grief still overpowers for some reason the tension cannot be

paid in full. We find other ways ways we think are new but that often have their roots in all that we've learned. I'm worried that I lost my husband in June of 89. After four and a half year battle with cancer. It was tough. Grief therapy sessions like this one have become places where people can tell the tales of their husbands wives lovers and children. Yeah. I thought about doing the other things as well even to the point of. God this is tough. They don't get in the car and driving down the freeway or picking the bridge I was going to drive the car and. They're not that bad.

Together these people find a way to cope with their grief and a chance for crying and laughing. This last weekend I cleaned out my garage and when I started going out the Commons I found packages of clothes you know like underwear and stuff that he had bought and so I took it back to the star that I thought was you know. More than anything else. Therapy groups offer a chance to be with people who know what you're going through. Some people prefer to cope with grief and loss alone. This is the story of someone like that. But more than anything else this is a love story. Joe Cannon lives alone by a lake in central Florida.

His neighbors think he's just another elderly widow who keeps to himself. And they're right. I really don't care how much longer I live. Because with Terry here I'm through with my working years. Terry was Joe's wife a tall feisty girl from Wisconsin. They didn't have any children. They didn't have many friends. All they had was each other. You aren't going to believe this but I think I had the most perfect wife any man ever had. I believe they were married thirty nine years. And this you won't believe. We never had an argument not a one. Now differences of opinion that I don't believe. Well all right it's a it's the absolute truth. Terri died of cancer five years ago the moment after she was declared dead. She was attached to a heart lung machine packed in dry ice and shipped to the Al Gore Foundation in California where her head was cry honestly frozen.

Chronic freezing first of Terry and eventually Joe will allow the cannons at least a chance to be together again to be the first couple ever to overcome till death us do part. If tere weren't frozen. I don't know that I would care to go ahead with this. But what makes me anxious for it to succeed and you know I do what I can is that someday I hope to continue that wonderful marriage with her. And that is the only thing that pushes me for forward now. This is an alarm device which is monitored in Massachusetts and early less than about a minute and a half. They will call back and if I don't answer then they have the emergency medical team in the hospital.

Everybody to call for five numbers. Joe takes a chance living alone after he dies if his body isn't found in time all his preparations will be for nothing. But Joe can't bring himself to leave the house he shared with Terri. So he's taking electronic precautions and he's also prepared for the possibility that she will come back without him. Jones put money in the bank for Terri when she returns and recorded a videotape telling her who she is who he was what their life was like together. He's done one more thing to keep her spirit alive within him. When Terri's cremated remains came back from California Joe put the dust in the capsules. And then after I had done why I started imbibing one with each meal. Except for three which he puts under her pillow each night. Part of her is still sleeping in her bed a part of her is walking along with me every time I take a

step. And part of her is chronically suspended waiting for hopefully for the day when. She'll be alive and. Able to. Continue with her life. And I hope with me there to join up with her. In one way Joe Cannon's lucky he's chosen to deal with his grief by not getting rid of Terri's body. But he had the choice. Some people have nobody to keep you dispatch. Moments of pain and power with the strength to try in Linthicum Maryland minister speaks of hope in the face of death. We will swallow all that for ever. In the congregation is the family doctor and their daughter Mary refuge

her husband and sons. They know something about hope because of a family member who is not Donald Jr.. He was an Air Force navigator in Vietnam shot down in 1970 no trace of Donald Shea as ever been found. He was a good son. And amiable young man who did well and didn't give us any problems. A lot of that had a sense of humor. He was good looking. And a lot of friends. I really you know if I keep talking it sounds like he was a perfect person he wasn't certainly a good son and we miss him. Sarah she has waited a long time for her son to come back one way or another. I waited in vain for her calmness when she talks about him is deceiving. She's angry and defiant and she has the flag flying back home to prove it.

According to the rules of treating the flag flying at you know the foot you're supposed to fall. You're not supposed to leave it up unless there's a light shining on it. I'm not going to take it down until they come up with some kind of information on my son. It's going to flood day and night and I dare anybody to sing to me about it. There it states my flag my country. Sara she transferred your frustration and grief at not knowing what happened to her son. Literally I'm not having a body into action she demanded that the military find out what happened and then tell her the truth. She went to Thailand and Laos. She hounded officials who told her Donald was dead because he must be dead. And so it helped a lot of ways for us to be able to get involved in this. And it was it's also helped the country. Thank you. The shades are as all-American a family as you could hope to father proud grandparents regular kids

strong people. It would be wrong to say what they've been through dominates their lives. They continue but they do not cannot forget. I've never felt any guilt about not. Grieving anymore because I agree with. The only good thing I can think about it is that I hope it doesn't happen to anybody else. At the Vietnam Memorial in Washington D.C. the community comes to pay attention to the dead and the missing. The wall is unique. A war memorial that does what you will rituals you do all by itself through a simple chronological listing of the names. It tells the tale. It gives mourners something to do. Come here. See. Touch. Be together. The wall provides an opportunity

place. For sorrow. And Joy. Today the chaise come to visit the wall. Macon has never been here before never seen his uncle's name and the special mark next to it that Sarah Shea demand in market means missing not dead. His pilot. Was the pilot landed. Right here with the man that we're. Making Rutledge was born years after his uncle disappeared. He never knew him but

on this day in this place an invisible hand touched his heart. For the chaise it was another moment of he either step forward to live or. He lives on through these people. The attention he will always give him. And death shall have no dominion. Going to in the end. Funding for this

program was provided by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting and bi annual financial support from viewers like you. It's been real.