Le Show; 2009-06-07

From deep inside your radio, okay, we're back at the Lachodome going to try as hard as I can on this particular broadcast being back at home base. No guarantees. I mean, I know a wise Latina might do a better job with this show, but you got me, so what are you going to do? Ladies, gentlemen, a top counterinsurgency expert says Pakistan is not a lost cause. We're at the point where we're denying it's a lost cause. But without wholesale change, the country risks spiraling into lawlessness. Not retail change now. That's not enough. Australian David Kilcolin was the senior advisor to General Patreus helped engineer this surge strategy, i.e. paying off the Sunnis to switch sides until we stop paying them. That was a good strategy. I don't think Pakistan's lost. We still have enormous support in some ways in Pakistan, but I do think we need to see a fairly wholesale change

of heart coming from the Pakistani military. All right then, we'll stand by for that. He's a theorist of asymmetrical warfare, formerly in the Australian army. I think it's not an exaggeration to say that Pakistan is the most dangerous country in the world today, he said. It's certainly in terms of counterterrorism, counterinsurgency problems. It is the problem that most worries me and I think that should most worry Western policymakers. He says the size of the country and its nuclear capabilities create a unique set of problems for Western countries. Pakistan is a very developed country, there's a Pakistani diaspora across most other countries in Europe and North and South America, and it has more than 100 nuclear weapons. G, it wasn't any of those things seven years ago when we decided to invade Iraq, was it? Oh, it was. Sorry. The government is progressively losing control of its own population and territory. And you've got al-Qaeda sitting right in the middle of the country,

so it's a very, very significant problem. Unquote, Mr. Kulkolin. I'll come at wasn't the front line in the war. Meanwhile, ladies and gentlemen, the kind of war, there's always a debate, at least in theological circles or some theological circles as to whether there is such a thing as a moral or just war. And certainly, in the recent past, we've had reason to question that concept again. What is there such a thing as a good war? I think I found one. Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi's long and profitable friendship with media mogul Rupert Murdoch is apparently over. The two are at war. Berlusconi is accused Murdoch of ordering negative stories about him, Berlusconi. I don't want to be nasty, but the episode on Sky News owned by Murdoch, where, well, I'll explain in a moment,

created a rift with Sky and Murdoch, which has been followed by a series of highly critical articles about me, Berlusconi, said on one of the three television channels, he owns. The episode was the decision by Berlusconi's government last December to double the rate of taxes VAT on satellite television to 20%. Murdoch's sky, Italy achieved a monopoly in Italy on satellite television with the aid of Berlusconi. The channel saw that jumping the tax rate as a calculated attack, a furious Murdoch unusually appeared in person at the Sky Italia headquarters to denounce the tax increase. He saw it as a direct assault assault on his business. He ordered advertising spots lambasting the Berlusconi government. During the Easter break, Sky Italia broadcast a film called Shooting Silvio, which revolved around a man's plan to rid Italy of Berlusconi with a bullet. Aides of Berlusconi said the film was an incitement to violence.

People close to Berlusconi and Murdoch agree they are virtually at war, telling a good war. No, you don't have to root for either side. Just root for the war. It's no secret the relationship between the pair has got very nasty indeed in the last 12 months of source at Sky Italia said. Berlusconi has been in the news owing to his wife, deciding to sue for divorce over the 18 year lingerie model who calls the prime minister daddy. I don't see Rupert hanging around with lingerie models. Maybe I do have a rooting interest. And his decision to run a raft of starlets as candidates in the European election today. Berlusconi's company is planning this summer to introduce its own satellite TV service to compete with Murdoch's. As I say, ladies and gentlemen, it's a good day when you can find a good war. Hello, welcome to the show.

Happy with the idea of green. I'm stupidly happy. It's surely a sin. All the birds of the air call your name as they land on my kitchen roof. All the fish in the lake do the same. Should you need extra room? I'm stupidly happy. My vision is good. I'm stupidly happy. I'm coming on screen.

I'm stupidly happy. Now you're my defense. I'm stupidly happy. This world's making sense. I'm stupidly happy. I roll like a train. I'm stupidly happy. With you in my brain. All the lights of the cars in the town from the

strings of a big guitar. I'm a giant to play you a tune for whatever you are. I'm stupidly happy. Like the words to that song. I'm stupidly happy. No nothing's not wrong. I'm stupidly happy. All of the time. I'm stupidly happy. Now you're mine. I'm stupidly happy.

I'm stupidly happy. From the edge of America, from the home of the homeless I'm Harry Shira welcoming you to this edition of the show. This is just after one day and just before the next. I don't know what day it is. June 12th, I believe, is the official change over. It's Friday when American television stations switch off the analog signal and go digital on you.

From the Wall Street Journal, no one knows for sure what will happen on June 12th. That's the acting term of the FCC, Michael Cops. He's copsing out. He knows how much disruption there will be. He doesn't say how much or how little, just how much. That's a clue. Milwaukee's, hey Milwaukee was just there last week. Milwaukee CBS affiliate and one of its sister stations will, despite the deadline for switching off the analog signal, will continue to broadcast an analog after the deadline. The owner, Wigel Broadcasting announced that the programming of the CBS affiliate will air an analog on Channel 63, even though it's been Channel 58 up till now. The executive said maintaining analog broadcasts of the stations will provide a lifeline to viewers who haven't prepared for the digital transition.

Unfortunately, not all homes in our viewing area are prepared in fuller and part for the digital transition says the general manager of Wigel's Milwaukee stations, those homes still need to be able to receive vital news information. Unfortunately, of course, American local TV stations haven't been broadcasting vital news information for quite some time, but they're going to start now because of the thing. A lifeline, ladies and gentlemen, you know, because in case there's flooding or a thing, and you're not ready to receive digital television, but of course digital radio will help, won't it? Your HD tuner on the zoom, and the New York Times, Times in. Now, this story, as you know, I've been, I've been thumping this tub for a long, long time, about how crazy it is, that we are being forced to upgrade, quote unquote. Because the last time we upgraded television, it was to color, and we all wanted to do it, and it happened just fine. Anyway, the New York Times waits until this weekend to put a story in the front page about this.

And the time says millions of households will lose television reception when the transition occurs, and they're quoting federal officials, I don't know if they're quoting Michael cops. Here's an interesting figure in calculating all of this, ladies and gentlemen. The federal government has spent more than $2 billion just to ease the transition to digital television with those coupons and, you know, advertising campaigns, $2 billion, just to make it easier to go from analog to digital television, and still millions of people aren't with the program. No, no, no better use for the money could have been found, of course, but $2 billion. The latest survey by the Nielsen Company indicates that it is the end, as of the end of May, more than 10% of the households at own television, that's 114 million, are either completely or partly unprepared, 10%.

That's a lot of households could have hit show with that many households, or hit lack of show, as the case may be. Let's spend some more billions, what do you say? Because it's TV, it's important. The digital wonderland, ladies and gentlemen, hop in and now, ladies and gentlemen, news from outside the bubble. Sure you got to have a little drum thing, from Maclatchy newspapers, not carried widely, this report, so it's pretty much outside the bubble to you. President Obama reversed his decision to release those detainee abuse photographs, according to Maclatchy's Nancy Yusef.

He did it after Iraqi Prime Minister Almaliki warned that Iraq would erupt into violence, and that Iraqis would demand that U.S. troops withdraw a year earlier than planned. This, according to two U.S. military officers, a senior defense official and a State Department official. In the days leading up to the May 28th deadline to release the photos, in response to an ACLU lawsuit, U.S. officials led by the U.S. Ambassador to Iraq Christopher Hill told Maliki that the administration was preparing to release photos of suspected detainee abuse taken from 2003 to 2006. That's a lot of bad apples, three years. When U.S. officials told, it's a veritable orchard. It's a bad orchard. When U.S. officials told Maliki he went pale in the face, said a U.S. military official, who requested anonymity because of the matter's sensitivity. The official said Maliki warned that releasing the photos would lead to more violence that could delay the scheduled U.S. withdrawal from cities by June 30th, and that Iraqis wouldn't make a distinction between old and new photos.

Unlike the business executives who were approached by New Orleans convention officials who still say, isn't the city still underwater? Because they still see the old footage on CNN. The public outrage and increase in violence could lead Iraqis to demand a referendum on the security agreement and refuse to permit U.S. forces to stay until the end of 2011. Maliki said Baghdad will burn if the photos are released at a second U.S. military official. U.S. officials knowledgeable about the photographs told McClatchy at least two of them depict nudity. One is of a woman suggestively holding a broomstick. One shows a detainee with bruises, but offered no explanation how he got them. And another is of hooded detainees with weapons pointed at their heads. Of course, if they're hooded, they wouldn't know about the weapons. It was not so much the photos themselves, but the perception they would be Abu Ghraib-type photos added to the senior defense official who said U.S. officials were worried about the potential street consequences of making the photos public. With tension rising again in major Iraqi cities, Maliki feared that if you add the photos to that mix, you could very easily provide an incentive to the extremists to use more violence

as State Department officials said. That in turn might cause U.S. and Iraqi commanders to reconsider the troop withdrawal from urban areas, which would be a major set back to a Maliki's government and to the Obama administration. After U.S. officials notified Maliki, the Prime Minister put heavy press on Hill and Army General Raymond O'Dyerno, the top U.S. military commander in Iraq to stop the release. Obama and Secretary of Defense Robert Gates said they changed their minds larger because of objections from U.S. commanders in the field, but they never mentioned Maliki's objection. O'Dyerno spokesman declined to comment, citing ongoing litigation. Well, litigation is always ongoing. That's why they have courts. The senior U.S. defense officials said that Ambassador Hill and Commander O'Dyerno were the primary voices urging Obama to reverse his decision.

It took considerable lobbying by O'Dyerno and Gates before the President changed his mind, the senior defense officials said. So, just a little insight into the workings of Mr. Maliki, news from outside the bubble latest gentleman is a copyrighted feature of this broadcast. It's something we've talked about on this broadcast, not recently, maybe three or four years ago. I shared with you a spade of stories on the subject of genetically modified organisms in food, GMOs. Not to be confused with GM. GMOs are not bankrupt. They're doing good. They're doing well.

And the latest battleground seems to be over beats, sugarbeats, specifically, not beetroot, sugarbeats, not beets, sugarbeats. Have I made that clear? Okay, I don't have to repeat it anymore. Thank you. First of all, in a story about whether organically modified sugarbeats should be grown in Oregon, just a little fact dropped in the middle of that story. Apparently already 90% of the sugarbeats grown in this country are genetically modified. Hand me the splendor, but that's not all. From Oregon comes word that at least one seed producer is concerned that genetically modified organisms pose a serious threat to Oregon's vegetable seed industry. Roundup-ready sugarbeats, a patented variety engineered by Monsanto, why?

It's genetically modified to resist or to tolerate the herbicide roundup. Roundup-ready sugarbeats have turned up in a soil mixture being sold to gardeners at a landscaping supply business, just a few miles from organic seed producer Frank Morton. He fears some of those roots may not be sprouting in local gardens if so they could soon start to bolt, sending out clouds of pollen that could fertilize his crop of golden shard, a closely related plant, and render it worthless for the organic seed market. If it also negates the years of breeding the wind to producing an especially cold hardy line, worse yet Morton says the genetically modified sugarbeats could cross-pollinate the fields of other shard growers, in the area who supply seeds to major bagged salad distributors in California, potentially introducing genetically modified shard into the food system without the approval of federal regulators. I'd say we've got maybe two weeks to find it before it starts shedding pollen. Morton said, I think we've got a ticking time bomb on our hands.

Unquote, all right, time to start torturing monsanto executives. It's a ticking time bomb. That's when you torture, isn't it? It's genetically modified. It's got to be good for us. It's got to be, it's almost as good as if it were digital, ladies and gentlemen, that's how good it is. The federal emergency management agency, you've heard of them, they're the good people at FEMA, must accelerate development of the plans to improve the nation's ability to respond to a national catastrophe, improve them. That's according to the general accountability office. The GAO has found 68% of the plans needed to implement a national preparedness system, have or have not been completed, guesses? They have not, so are correct. Although 41 and 50 policies needed to define the roles and responsibilities of those who must implement the plan have been completed, see how they do this?

Included in the plans that have not been completed are several designed to deal with catastrophic incidents, like, say, Katrina, according to the report. As a result, the roles and responsibilities of key officials involved in responding to a catastrophe have not been fully defined, and thus cannot be tested in exercises. Katrina pointed out the need for such programs, the GAO said, noting the lack of clarity in response roles and responsibilities among the diverse set of responders contributed to the disjointed response. Too many response, syllables in one sentence, boys, take that back to the rewrite shop. Moreover, the reports said the lackluster response to Katrina highlighted the need for clear integrated disaster preparedness and response policies and plans. Although best practices for program management call for a plan that includes key tasks and their target completion dates, FEMA does not have such a plan. This is the new FEMA.

The Department of Homeland Security, the parent agency of FEMA, agreed with its reports findings, said the GAO. I don't know if that means they're going to do anything about it, but they agreed. And that's a good sign. And speaking of which... A federal safety inspector assigned to the airline involved in an air crash that killed 50 people in upstate New York in February warned of safety problems at that airline... A year before the accident, an attorney for FAA inspected Christopher Monteliones, said he reported problems with the flight testing program at Colgan Air for its newly acquired Bombadier-8Q-400s in January 2008.

That's the plane that crashed February 12 near Buffalo Airport, among the problems Monteliones reported was that the Colgan test pilot exceeded the permissible speed limit and had difficulty properly landing the plane is all. Test pilots typically aren't airlines most skilled pilots and are expected to train other pilots on how to fly new aircraft. But Colgan, a regional air carrier, complained to the FAA about Monteliones, the inspector, is supervisor reassigned him to desk work and ordered him to have no further contact with the airline. When Monteliones continued to press for action on safety concerns at Colgan, what he alleged was a cozy relationship between the agency and the airline, he was transferred or reassigned three more times according to his lawyer. In March, he had a confrontation with an FAA attorney and was placed on administrative lead by the agency.

He filed a whistleblower complaint, the FAA spokeswoman declined to discuss personnel actions. Doesn't that make you feel good? Ladies and gentlemen, Newt Gingrich this week retracted his use of the word racist in reference to Sonia Sotomayor, the nominee by President Obama to be on the Supreme Court. Dick Cheney this week endorsed the idea of gay marriage, Rush Limbaugh this week, probably just rhetorically said he was withdrawing as the titular head of the Republican party. What the heck is going on? We'll dig deep, deep underground for the answers, moments from now here on the show.

In March, he filed a whistleblower complaint, the FAA spokeswoman declined to discuss personnel actions. In March, he filed a whistleblower complaint, the FAA spokeswoman declined to discuss personnel actions.

He filed a whistleblower complaint, the FAA spokeswoman declined to discuss personnel actions. He filed a whistleblower complaint, the FAA spokeswoman declined to discuss personnel actions. He filed a whistleblower complaint, the FAA spokeswoman declined to discuss personnel actions. He filed a whistleblower complaint, the FAA spokeswoman declined to discuss personnel actions. He filed a whistleblower complaint, the FAA spokeswoman declined to discuss personnel actions.

He filed a whistleblower complaint, the FAA spokeswoman declined to discuss personnel actions. He filed a whistleblower complaint, the FAA spokeswoman declined to discuss personnel actions. He filed a whistleblower complaint, the FAA spokeswoman declined to discuss personnel actions. He filed a whistleblower complaint, the FAA spokeswoman declined to discuss personnel actions. He filed a whistleblower complaint, the FAA spokeswoman declined to discuss personnel actions.

He filed a whistleblower complaint, the FAA spokeswoman declined to discuss personnel actions. He filed a whistleblower complaint, the FAA spokeswoman declined to discuss personnel actions. He filed a whistleblower complaint, the FAA spokeswoman declined to discuss personnel actions. He filed a whistleblower complaint, the FAA spokeswoman declined to discuss personnel actions. Next, intimate tales of America's first underground vice president, the action-packed diary of the man who was just a heartbeat away from history.

Lin once told me that Woody Allen once said that 90% of success is showing up. As usual, the Little New Yorker was dead wrong. Timefiller show up, bureaucrats show up, saps show up, success comes to those who don't necessarily show up where you expect them to say it a foreign president's funeral or at an endless senate debate. But they do show up where they sense they have the opportunity to make a difference. Secret meetings of the principles to devise interrogation strategy, for example. So as spring began its annexable betrayal into summer, it occurred to me that having operated the levers of power in the United States government for so many years without the hindrance of fingerprints.

It was time to perform the same service for Institution, even closer to my pacemaker, the Republican Party. An old palimide from my lost years of exile in the house, Newt Gingrich, was stepping up his public profile, for a guy still dreaming of being president. Having actually done the job, I can't quite understand the fever, but I sure can recognize the symptoms. So I decided to pay him a visit, part of a little assignment I call. Operation take reins of party for good of country. Tuesday 1117 AM. We'll be right outside the door, Mr. Vice President. Thanks, Alice. You sure carry a lot of security, Mr. Vice President? Yeah, Mr. Speaker, decision was reached that with the former President and Alice, I probably needed some of his contingent added to mine. Interesting. I mean, that decision.

Well, in the absence of explicit directions to the contrary, beers that I did. Of course. Being out of office is just another place to be in power. I like to think so. So, Newt, I don't watch the tube, but I hear you're all over the TV like a political Ryan Seacrest, wherever that is. Yeah. Well, in the interest of renewing American civilization, you do have to go to the place where it's been getting old. And Roger Ells over at Fox has been kind enough to book me whenever I ask him to. Oh, that's great. I've been doing more than my share of staring at interviewers, live leaders as well. The difference between us, my friend, is that I know how to stay on message. You, on the other hand, are all over the place. One day you're all over Nancy Pelosi's backside. Not literally. No, of course not. Next day, you're calling Obama's Supreme Court selection a racist. Well, Pelosi stopped responding. Story lost its legs.

And danger of being bumped off the enemy show by Mark Levin. Hey, my friend. Welcome to the club. Greta Runsuster and bumped me one night for somebody named Drew Peterson. I don't let that disrupt my agenda. Petty personal matters can't be allowed to interfere with what's important for our party. Oh, I agree. And what's important is a forward-looking paradigm shift that emphasizes new leadership for the start of a decade of immense change. Oh, save it for the junior college syllabus, my friend. What's important is looking forward by making sure that dedicated public servants who stepped up when most of the country was paralyzed by well-deployed fear. Those servants aren't the victims of vindictive and political prosecutions. Every minute you keep hammering so-called speaker Pelosi about the interrogation briefings is a minute she can't span attacking. John U. J. Bybey leaving me. And over those minutes you get her more hobbled than a syphiletic calf of the rodeo. I respect your need to stay out of prison, of course.

But this is a moment when the party's leadership vacuum is being filled. If it isn't by me, it's going to be by Huckabee or Romney or Palin. Those ideas people, Mr. Vice President, all do respect. Not a single one of them has read Alvin Toffler. Shootin' it, I haven't read Alvin Toffler either, but I'll tell you what I have read. The information the Vice President's office gathered while I was there regarding your... ...divorces and annulments. Specifically, what you had to offer is inducement to turn divorce number two into annulment number one. It might make some people a bit cynical about your recent conversion. I don't think we'd want that in the early days of a presidential bid. Now what do we? Mr. Vice President, I have to be honest with you, I'm feeling my period I'm shifting. Of course, I was kind of out front calling sort of my aura racist, along with our friend Mr. Limbaugh. I think his simple apology gets you out of that mess back into this one where, if you ask my opinion, you belong. No, I always welcome your opinion, Dick, but apologizing seems dangerously close to flip-flopping,

especially when we're trying to renew American civilization. Let me tell you something, Mr. Speaker. I came out in favor of gay marriage this week. You think I wanted to? What? You think I'm going to enjoy being lambasted by our friends and the writers being on the slippery slope to endorsing beastiality? I have a daughter whom I want out on the talk show circuit supporting enhanced interrogations in our entire comprehensive robust treatment strategy. Said daughter wanted something from me, and it wasn't the keys to the family, Buick. I just look straight ahead, reverse your position in the closest thing to a monotone you've got, and move forward. I despise friends, and you know I'm going to do the right thing, that's my whole positioning. Now if you excuse me, I'd love to continue this chat, but I'm late for Twitter. Yeah, he Twitter's all right. Like a sparrow with ADD.

Which only left me one more bit of heavy lifting for the week. The flight down to West Palm Beach. No, I wasn't working on a secure undisclosed tan. Something a little bit more bombastic. There's day 417 PM. Mr. Vice President, always good to see you, sir. I'm on my way out to the golf course. You want to shoot a few holes? Oh, no thanks, Rush. Might shoot one of them in the face. That's a good one, sir. Good to see that being out of power hasn't damaged your sense of humor. Being a left-right has always been a particular passion of mine, Rush. As has a little project I call operation don't prosecute me at one time. I thought you were a supporter. I have had my plate a little full the last few weeks with the the attacks from Colin Powell and the MSNBC crowd. After all, there's just so much of a daily three hour show I can devote to subject other than myself.

My friend, I got out of my own particular tussle with the good general almost before I got into it. The guy folds like a wet doily. You know, looks stronger for mixing it up with him. Quite the opposite. No, I just must have... I hope that wasn't your honor or a member of Congress plaque from our friend, Newt. Look, it was. No, that is a pity. Almost as big a pity is reading about your annulments and divorces. No, that is new. I mean, almost as great a pity is rereading the emails from Alberta Gonzalez to the prosecutor in your oxy-contin case. Mr. Vice President, I noticed you were a guest on Bill Bennett's radio show this week. I told Mr. Snurdley to ask you if you'd be a guest on mine. Get the fire started on this whole bogus torture thing again. Matter of fact, I was going to ask you personally before the the the vandalism and the threat. But now it really seems to be as good a time as any.

Rush, nobody I'd rather share the non-leadership of the Republican Party with the new my friend. Oh, same here, sir. Mr. Snurdley will sit at a date with you. I'm late for my forceome. Maybe Rush didn't need the persuasive push of enhanced intimidation. But like the little New Yorker says, it couldn't hurt. In the partial diary for early June 2009, sincerely yours, Dick Cheney, confidential. Maybe it looks like it's going to help. Maybe it looks like it's going to help.

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