Le Show; 2009-12-06

Here it is, from deep inside your radio. Well, ladies and gentlemen, first of all, thank you to everybody who showed up in Chicago and Seattle this past week for the Christmas shows, benefiting the New Orleans musicians clinic. Next Sunday's show, benefiting the Tipetinas Foundation here in Los Angeles. The show is in Los Angeles, Tipetinas Foundation is in New Orleans. It's sold out. I think before the building was constructed, but there are still tickets for the final three Christmas music halls with Judith Owen and myself. In New York, it shows Pub on the 15th and in New Orleans at the Contemporary Arts Center on the 18th and 19th. And thanks also to the wonderful folks in Richmond, Virginia, WRIR organized a lovely thing a couple of weeks ago, and I was laxed and thanking them last week, so I thank them today. And thank you to the people in Atlanta at the High Museum. Yes, that's what it's called.

And ladies and gentlemen, now that the thankus have been successfully concluded, successfully completed, just a note, just an odd fun fact, apropos of the two Grammy nominations that the new spinal tap record got this week. And to fun fact, it's the first nomination of any kind for anything ever connected with the spinal tap project, 25 years, the first, the very first, think of it. Now stop thinking of it. Let it gentlemen this morning on one of the Sunday Act shows, not quite in the, I dare you not to notice, I've said something impossibly ignorant department, but real, real close. David Patreus talking about, you know, the new, the new Afghan thing and asked by Chris Wallace of Fox News, whether, since this is a surge, whether in any of the discussions President Obama acknowledged to General Patreus that the surge had worked in Iraq, because

apparently there was a big controversy about that during the election campaign. And General Patreus, ever the diplomat or the general said, well, you know, we've, one of the things we did in these meetings the last three months is we took the rear view mirrors off the truck, we're just going forward. That's a good way to drive, sir, especially if you get into a dead end. I think at that point, the rear view mirrors would be really convenient. The, the automotive industry was rocked this week, as you know, by, well, here's, here's just a sense of the journey we're on. The automotive industry was rocked by the forced resignation of the head of General Motors, Fritz Henderson. I think they thought, you know, people might mistake it for a German car company if they

had a guy at the head called Fritz. So, but anyway, the board of directors has moved rapidly now that the company is kind of a ward of you and me, that is to say, our government, to change the whole leadership thing. Just, Fritz took over just this year. That's the odd part. And of course, they, they've, they've got all these new commercials saying, may the best car win, but apparently the best, well, they're still looking for the best head of the company. The, the journey, ladies and gentlemen, can be marked by the fact that in the 1950s, the Secretary of Defense and the Eisenhower administration had formerly been head of General Motors. And those days, we got our defense secretaries out of car companies, same thing that happened in the 1960s with Robert McNamara. And that earlier defense secretary, Charlie Wilson, formerly of GM, famously said at one point during his tenure, what's good for General Motors is good for the country.

That's how big General Motors was back then. Now of course, what's good for General Motors may not even be good for General Motors. Hello, welcome to the show. Behind the scenes, We'll buy my titha company away We're going to live a day A little TTO We won't see you around We got the work Gonna shut you down

You'll be winding all the way back from the bank Little TTO Nothing left in your take When you had a rotten winter You're looking at a gravier summer A gravier summer You're closing down potty-ack Looking hard to dump your holler A paper of sea ice, be it owned by the fans is a bummer But you had such big fun To a bottle of titha company away Little TTO You used to be so mean You were in a hole And you continued too deep

There's still candy Chevy Newing for pop Little TTO Rollin' to a stop We live, dealin' no with fresh love We live, dealin' your guest heads are flowin' We live, dealin' we still gotta drive Where we gonna work if you don't survive Ooooooh When you're shuttin' down feelers Cleanin' it out like a stripper And yeah, cleanin' out Go in 62-0 Maybe your mileage will fit for it And again, cleanin' a hotroffer Go in out of the stripper But you had such big fun I'm a big fan, too, no fun of taking company away

What do you mean by that? I'm a big fan, too, no fun of taking company away Little D.A. Shifting down to the first You were never the best You were never the worst All that left is a big fire sale Little D.A. You were to be not to fail From the edge of America, from the home of the homeless I'm Harry Shere, welcoming you to this edition of the show Ladies and gentlemen, we did so well The last time we had these military commissions For Guantanamo detainees You know, we actually convicted Osama's driver Remember that? Mr. Hamdon? Mr. Hamdon? Speaking of Osama, by the way, BBC quotes a detainee this week as saying Osama's in Afghanistan

He's not in Pakistan Yes, they're playing with shells Anyway, we are resuming the military commissions There was all this talk about civilian trials for Khalid Sheikh Muhammad And four of his cohorts But others are being tried by military commissions They quietly resumed this week The military court had to grapple with determining where a defendant Ibrahim Ahmad Mahmoud Al-Khuzi stands under the new military commission's law in act of last October Under the old law, Khuzi and other detainees were called unlawful enemy combatants But ladies and gentlemen, this is progress Things are moving forward Change is in the air They are now called alien-unprivileged enemy belligerents AUEBs You feel better already knowing that they're no longer called unlawful enemy combatants But now alien-unprivileged enemy belligerents

Military prosecutors say that terminology is more in line with the Geneva conventions More nearly in line, that is to say That is to say not in line The government wants to amend the charges against Khuzi to reflect the new language His defense attorneys are saying that new hearing is required and the judge agreed So, militant commissions will be held at Guantanamo past the January closing date that's not going to be met anyway The defendant in question? Oh yeah, his role in the war on terror He's a pseudonese man accused of acting as a bodyguard and driver for Osama bin Laden We got both drivers, we got another driver Man, Osama is going to have to walk if he's going to go from Pakistan to Afghanistan from now on I'm telling you, nobody will drive that guy We got another driver, ladies and gentlemen, I am thrilled More on AFAQ

A senior British military commander said this week, roads in Afghanistan were safer When the Taliban ran the country, Major General Nick Carter told the BBC that before the 2001 invasion Women could travel alone in the southern part of Afghanistan He says, quote, you could put your daughter on a bus and cobble Sure in the knowledge that she would get in one piece to Kandahar Unquote, Carter, who just happens to control NATO forces in southern Afghanistan now says that isn't the case anymore He says British forces need to change that They've been there for eight years The operation he says is shifting its emphasis to ensuring public safety Forces will now protect the population where they live and ensure freedom of movement on key roads Otherwise, you'd have to have cops to do that It'll be going on Secretary Gates said today, three to five years You know, that deadline is not really a deadline, it's just a deadline, but it's not really a deadline

So three to five years, which means three to five centuries The nuclear front is glowing with news this week, because it's clean, cheap, too safe to meet her Nuclear weapons grade uranium, oh, I wouldn't worry about that Unless it's in Iran No, it was given up for lost at a plant in Scotland and Kateness Scotland has been found It was given up for lost and then it's found, just nuclear weapons grade uranium is all It found during the cleanup at the sprawling site, it was revealed by the Scotsman this week A team of specialists found 1.5 kilograms, that's not much, is it? Of the highly radioactive material over the past year during an operation to repackage waste at the site See, if you're in high school now, I hope your career counselor is talking about nuclear waste repackage as a career Some of the material was found in drums filled with waste, and other small particles were found in the nooks and crannies of previously inaccessible equipment

They had to wait for new tools to be developed to access the nooks, I don't know, I really don't Three years ago, an official government report in Scotland revealed that 238 grams of highly enriched uranium The material used to make nuclear weapons was unaccounted for at the Kateness nuclear facility So out of that, out of 238 grams, they've found 1.5 kilograms, ladies and gentlemen, break out the champagne And federal auditors in this country say this week it would be cheaper to store nuclear waste in concrete casks right at the nation's nuclear plants Right there, where the stuff is made, than at Nevada's Yucca Mountain, at least in the short term And of course, since this stuff has to be kept safe for about 100,000 years, short term thinking is what we need In the long run, relying on the casks could turn out to be more expensive, the GAO, the government accountability office estimates the cost of maintaining radioactive waste at the nation's nuclear plants for 100 years at between 13 and 34 billion There's some wiggle room there, don't you think? You could fit right in there, with that

The projected cost of storing a similar amount of nuclear waste at Yucca Mountain would range from 41 to 67 billion Well, that's more. How much nuclear waste do we have right now? This would be high level nuclear waste, I guess 70,000 metric tons, enough to fill a football field more than 15 feet deep Well, why don't we do that? Why don't we just pick a football field and how are the packers doing these days? The material is accumulating at 80 sites, Congress approved legislation in 2002 saying Yucca Mountain was the place to dump it, but somehow the people in Nevada didn't quite dig that Would disrupt the gambling, you know, to see the glow on the horizon Most of the cost for Yucca Mountain would occur up front, the cost associated with storage on site at the nuclear plants would be backloaded Well, we know how this is going to happen, those costs don't occur for 80 years, let's do that

Because it's no problem, ladies and gentlemen, it's clean, safe, too cheap to meter I just pity those people who have to deal with it 100 years from now, they're going to be saying really nice stuff about us Well, ladies and gentlemen, the apologies of the week Who cares what they'll say? We'll be dead Pete Dority, he's a musician, has apologized to fans and Germans alike I'm reading this, this is the way Brawling Stone wrote it After the former Libertine's frontman saying the controversial first verse of the German national anthem during a concert in Munich Last month, the crowd loudly booed Dority after he included the verse, Deutsche Land, Deutsche Land, Uber Alus You know what that translates to, in a rendition of Hit the Road Jack Because of the connection to the Third Reich, Germans have disregarded the verse since World War II

To make matters worse, the performance was broadcast live on Bavarian Radio In a statement, Dority said that he just wanted to celebrate his appearance in Munich by assimilating and integrating with the crowd He was removed from the stage five songs later and allowed to assimilate backstage Dority spokesman said the guitarist was unaware of the controversy surrounding the verse Dority deeply apologizes if he has called it any offense the spokesperson said Pete himself is from Jewish descent and is fought against racism and fascism with numerous organizations This is a subject he feels very strongly about, unquote the statement Although this isn't the first time Dority is attracted controversy by referencing Nazi Germany musically On the Libertine's self-titled second album, Dority wrote a song called Arbite Macht Fry, or work brings freedom, the slogan that was featured at the entrances of Nazi concentration camps during World War II Because he's part They line Tokyo for politicians in Japan, the road to scandal usually winds through construction companies, defense contractors, or a mistress for newly elected Prime Minister Yukio Hatoyama The road leads to his mother, an octogenarian eras

Prosecutors have traced about ten million dollars that Yasuko Hatoyama, 87 years old, gave to her son over a five-year period ending last year Some of the money was reportedly funneled into fake campaign donations, listed as coming from dead people Or from people who never contributed Hatoyama apologized this week in Parliament for the donation scandal Suggesting he will remain Prime Minister unless he's prosecuted See, this is what happens when you don't call your mother often enough, this stuff happens A Swiss politician is apologized for calling for a ban on Jewish and Muslim cemeteries two days after the country voted to outlaw minarets on mosques I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, said Christopher Darbale, president of the Christian Democratic People's Party of Switzerland It was about the principle that we all belong to the same Swiss society In his call for the ban, Darbale said, I don't imagine that in this country every religion or sect can have a separate cemetery in every town Darbale is also called for ban on burkas or veils, worn by some Muslim women But not a ban on any veils, worn by men

Oh, I see, because the deadline London, the British sailors freed after a week in Iranian custody Apologized to their families Friday as they were reunited for the first time since their detention November 25th The five men were apprehended by the Iranian Navy as they're raising a travel from Bahrain to Dubai for a competition Well, in the meantime, you know what happened to Dubai, bye-bye Iranian authorities said they released the men Wednesday after determining they'd accidentally wandered into the country's waters The sailors told relatives their boat had become disabled and hard to steer The US preventive services task force this week appeared before Congress to acknowledge their mammogram recommendations were poorly communicated The task force communication was poor, said Dr. Diana Petiti, the vice-chairwoman, the task force is saying the screening starting at 40 should not be automatic, nor should they be denied Many doctors and many women will decide to have a mock graffiti screening starting at age 40 The task force did not retract their recommendations nor did they explain why those guidelines were established with no radiologist on the committee They did, however, admit their timing in the middle of a heated debate on health reform was not optimal and that they are not smooth talkers

The task force acknowledges that the language used did not say what the task force meant to say Petiti added their commitment to improving their communication and that they're sorry for not talk good If you got an early morning roba call this week courtesy of RJ Harris, a challenger to the incumbent representative Tom Cole for Oklahoma's fourth district You were one of about 3,000 residents of Norman, Oklahoma The calls started going out at 6 a.m. From the automated calling service Robo Talker That's all by stocking them. Obviously that wasn't supposed to happen Said RJ Harris, the candidate, it was a software malfunction and we apologize to anybody who was called About 20,000 area residents were supposed to have been called at 6 p.m. A software malfunction started the calls 12 hours early His campaign alerted Robo Talker and stopped the calls before the entire list was contracted James Rosendal apologized for helping to link Detroit and corruption in the national consequence

Rosendal was talking to a federal judge at the conclusion of his trial at a bribery scandal He was sentenced to 11 months in federal prison, ordered to pay $200,000 fine for helping to bribe Detroit officials To an approval for a sludge disposal deal Words cannot adequately convey the sorrow and regret I feel for what I did My zeal and selfish acts caused a lot of harm, said Rosendal, who faced up to five years in prison But one leniency by cooperating with the feds Said the judge simply put you corrupted the process of contracting a Detroit He's the guy. CNN has apologized at the Irish Times for alleging that that newspaper carried fake nude photographs of Ellen Nordgren Tiger Woods' wife CNN apologized for printing a story on its website that incorrectly accused the Irish Times of printing those photographs The channel mixed up the Irish Times with another Irish publication The Dubliner magazine, which did fake photos of Ellen Woods' nude And later apologized and paid a hefty fine

Well, the Irish Times and the Dubliner, you know, they sound so much alike because they both sound like Ireland And MSNBC's Chris Matthews apologized this week for saying the Barack Obama had traveled to an enemy camp at West Point to address the nation on the war He made the remark Tuesday night during on-air analysis of the speech, saying he saw skepticism and little enthusiasm in the faces of cadets and officers at West Point He said on his show Wednesday he got some very tough calls from former cadets and parents of cadets who told him the audience Our train not to show the kind of emotion that he thought was lacking Interesting that the analysis after the speech included no persons who were experts on the history of Afghanistan and Pakistan Because why would we want to know that stuff? The Czech government this week made a public statement of regret that what we used to call gypsy women, we would now say Roma

We're sterilized in the past without their full consent and said safeguards had been drawn up to make sure nothing similar happens in the future Rights groups claim that from the 1970s till 1990 Romani women were systematically sterilized under a Czechoslovak government program aimed at reducing the high unhealthy birth rate of Romani women Czech officials have apologized but rights groups say slow-vac politicians have not dealt with the issue Of course, that used to be one country now it's two The British security company that started a firestorm after claiming recent window security updates caused a widespread black screen lockout of users' computers has retracted its claims and publicly apologized to Microsoft Think of that It's clear our original blog post has been taken out of context and may have caused an inconvenience for Microsoft That was the second apology two days on a blog post the first was written by Jacques Erasmus the same company's director of research saying that Microsoft patches were not to blame Instead the responsibility for the black screens were malware infections and of course Microsoft isn't responsible for those

Computers are just easily infected that's all but not as easily as they were finally in the apologies of the week later in gentlemen I have let my family down and I regret those trans subgressions with all my heart so began The headline sorry the post on Tiger Woods website that ran with the headline Tiger comments on current events Gee I wonder what he thinks about the war not those events I've not been true to my values his statement continues and the behavior my family deserves I'm not without faults and I am far short of perfect No matter well he wants more privacy several paragraphs about that Whatever regrets I have about letting my family down have been shared with and felt by us alone

For all those who've supported me over the years I offer my profound apology Now get out of my way I have to take this car to the dealership to repair the window No he didn't say that but you know he is Tiger Woods ladies and gentlemen concluding the apologies of the week A copyrighted feature of this broadcast I'm just so easily led when a little hit does they think it I'm talking with the town red sweater I'm feeling like baby

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