State of the State Analysis & Commentary

governor sam brownback laid out his legislative priorities this week with his state of the state address and j mcintyre and today i'm katie are present will walk through the governor's address with some political analysis and commentary along the way i'm joined by katie our statehouse bureau chief stephen koranda professor bob beatty of washburn university and professor michael smith of emporia state university no weigh in on the state of the state address and provide some context for some of the governor's proposals also later this hour renowned relationship expert and therapist harriet lerner on the art of the apology why saying i'm sorry is so hard and so easy to get wrong but first governor sam brownback state of the state address given to kansas lawmakers tuesday night january tenth we'll hear a couple minutes of his speech and then watch her university's bob beatty will join us for some analysis is just bigger and president and his a kansas legislature

and is a kansas supreme court and is the cabinet and my personal favorite that i want welcome here the first lady of kansas my wife mary also here sitting just behind my wife or my parents who i'm fortunate to still have bob and nancy brownback moment as my dad and i were out top of chopping wood over the christmas break and they have a dead pigs don't shop would edit my age is an exciting thing to be able to have a great blessing my fellow kansans welcome welcome to the state of the state address the chance to see old friends to make new ones a chance to celebrate the awesomeness of kansas event was once described to me as a beautiful ritual

pageantry conducted just before the real battle begins perhaps those supplies are being here and thank you for your service and a deepening that america's self government depends on citizens like you that are willing to give up your time and talents the american way also the hands on the defense of freedom provided by the sacrifice from our men and women in uniform always recognizing duty first america's first infantry division is celebrating this year the hundredth year of their existence they have played a tv roll in every major conflict since their founding today we have nearly five thousand big red one soldiers spread across the world interact afghanistan in korea joining us tonight or senior labor leaders from the big red one for riley brigadier general pak frank and command sergeant major jonathan stevenson let's give them a grade kansas welcome and recognition

is this has a long tradition of support for the military and many men and women in uniform and serving gone through the state were delighted at fort riley here and if you'd like to bring any more soldiers here as well they would be very welcome to be here also joining us is even has a family of volunteer firefighters that fought the largest prairie fire in modern history that happen in our state last year david and patty johnson along with their daughter lori stepped into danger to protect their local communities and barber in comanche county is please if you would stand let us recognize these heroes over a third of the members of the legislature are new this legislature will not only welcomed many new faces but also some familiar faces in new places welcome

ron reichman a new speaker of the house welcome and please welcome our returning president listener susan wager one is will recognize our minority leader's kinsley and ward thank you for being here and thank you for your service center has little mixes forty first year while regulations for about four minutes into governor brownback state of the state address and although he hasn't yet delved into the heart of this speech i'd like to jump in here bob beatty teaches political science at washburn university in topeka and is an inveterate statehouse watcher but by way of welcoming the legislators and the governor acknowledges that we've seen quite a bit of turnover since the two thousand sixteen elections there's a number of new legislators and many of them are moderate republicans

defeated conservative republicans and many of them ran on a platform of opposing some of governor brown backs policies so when i was sitting in the chamber there was a real different vibe in his state of the state than in previous state of the state senate i forgot how many have been two i'm guessing at this is about my tenth or eleventh straight state of the state address at i've attended with governor parkinson governor sebelius man governor brownback and so these new members really made a difference they were not very enthusiastic over all the summer democrats were more emboldened not to respond and you really could see the effect of these new legislators and the volume of the applause and the lack of the traditional standing ovations so he did mention welcome to the new members but surprise you know

maybe no welcome welcome for the governor and that some of these new members might be more pre disposed to oppose him than in previous years one even some of the returning members from his own party had campaigns against brownback yes well most fascinating dynamics is of course this address was not televised that's also unusual in kansas history traditionally the state of the state is just televised this one was not for the second straight year but she happened to watch it there you'd see behind the governor is susan why don't the senate majority in a president and she has been very vocal about opposing governor brownback and that's a real change so even yet even some what we think of is concerned are republicans are coming

out saying maybe we need to look at a very important policy which is the l o c tax cuts and she's been talking to a number of things that she wants to work on the day he may not necessarily want to in the session that's bob beatty of washburn university it's political science department i'm kate mcintyre today on k pr presents we're walking through governor brownback state of the state address let's rejoin the governor like the caucuses they serve their very different people but they have something in common they all chose to be here and served as a major new college you were trying to determine really what sort of people they are or just like your beloved kansas may sacrifice to be here to cherry second action and value people over politics by many measures kansas is the envy of the world a set of the most productive parts of this blessed nation kansans

enjoy an incredible sunset and a quality of life unimaginable to most humans throughout history are people now numbering nearly three million lead the planet lead the planet and agriculture telecommunications engineering and aerospace decision manufacturing animal health food safety as a natural innovation and many other various cancers are also amongst the most hardworking well educated and charitable people on the planet that's why even though kansas value life and liberty under law government has really never been the source of our strength and our families businesses faith communities and homes these are the strengths of kansas our state has record population record new businesses record grain production and record income by fellow kansans it's for these reasons and more that i can report to you that the state of our state is indeed stronger

the paintings no like our ancestors before us we draw on the strength in times of plenty and in times of hardship with struggles in key sectors of our state's economy most notably agriculture in oil and gas our state government is confronting challenges most immediately we must address the imbalance between state revenues and expenditures as a first step by kurds the legislature to put a bill adjusting the two thousand seventeen budget on my desk by the end of this month working with the relevant shares in leadership will have many suggestions as to what that measures should look like but as the legislatures suspending brands that work appropriately begins here are committed to use to support that process and anticipating a workable product to sign the scale the challenges says that even this bill will only amount to a first up

as like tomorrow budget director sullivan will present in detail a structurally balanced budget this budget is balanced allison that i reconcile spending with available revenues balanced and that actually supports the core functions of state government while finding necessary efficiencies balanced and that addresses both sides of the ledger revenue and expenditures the day's attacks first cut never have come to an end let's jump in here again governor brownback is talking about the need for a balanced a budget stephen koranda is keep your statehouse reporter steven the governor gave this state of the state address tuesday evening on wednesday his budget director sean sullivan laid out the specifics of what brownback has in mind how to those lineup well the governor's budget

is balanced out but some of the things are not the way lawmakers would like to balance the budget out for example he continues to take money from the highway fund and this proposal includes some tax increases but it doesn't eliminate the business income tax exemption which is what one thing a lot of lawmakers want to look at so some lawmakers are not happy that it does use some one time fixes to get us through the next several years i you know in some ways one time fixes are almost required for the current fiscal year because we're halfway through it now and so you couldn't do tax increases or anything and have them take effect in time to help us out in the current fiscal year so i would say the reception has been overall loop warm the governor and then leaders of the senate candidate win in this press release war in the last couple days senate leaders really criticize the plan for not from their perspective being structurally balanced and fixing the underlying issues the governor then fired back and said you know some of the things they're talking about would be you know sizeable tax increases the way sean sullivan basically summed it up when he

was pitching at the lawmaker's is you know there are some difficult things in that some things that were tough to swallow but if you get rid of some of the things in the governor's plan you're left with big cuts or big tax increases as your alternative is it seems that the governor is pretty committed to keeping that llc loophole is that something you think lawmakers will be quick to address you know in the state a state he really made a case for keeping it basically tried to shoot down lawmakers who want to get rid of the hair income tax exemption for businesses by saying you know it would make us less competitive that it has worked to grow jobs and to grow businesses but when you talk to lawmakers they say that when they were out on the campaign trail that was a thing that they heard a lot about and so i ask the senate vice president jeff long line about it and he said that he does not believe the governor's comments will stop them from considering in a business income tax exemption repeal probably would be part of a bigger plans immediate the government to accept it but from what i'm hearing from lawmakers they're still going to be

looking at that steven do you get the sense that the governor is going to be really involved in this budget making process this year well so far he's done though the same things they do you pretty much every year which is the governor puts out his budget proposal until lawmakers start work from there the question now is as you were saying that how involved will he be i think in some past years you know he's put out proposals and they're largely left it to lawmakers some of that is is governor brownback says strategy and his thinking you know he has said a lot of times that he as a former lawmaker himself believes it's up to them and they're the purse strings holders and it shouldn't be an executive telling them what to do on the flipside of that if he's got some parts in here that he really likes it really wants hiya him and his staff members can be really making the sale to lawmakers both behind the scenes and publicly in committee meetings things like that so as of right now we don't know exactly how involved the governor's going to be because i think part of that is how badly he wants some of the things in his budget plan lets return the streets

and as president bill clinton even observe the era of big government is over can we really ask kansas to pay more for a government that maintains separate bureaucracy is to license haircuts a cosmetology but it'll fix it we really continue to need separate departments to regulate state insurance and security markets our budget will address that as well know many times this administration has proposed so more efficiencies and inevitably there are those who insist that we just couldn't possibly get along without both these agencies without both the transportation department and the turnpike authority without both the commerce department and the technology enterprise corporation without both the department corrections and a separate juvenile justice authority but just about every time shortly after consolidations were complete most people were left asking why didn't we do this before and we all went to the kansas taxpayer to find those efficiencies

again before asking for more revenue as long the butt of a dos recommendations from efficiency study commissioned by the legislature you're listening to governor brown backs two thousand seventeen state of the state address on kansas public radio i'm kay mcintyre on today's kbr presents we're walking through the governor's speech with some of our political analysts including michael smith professor smith teaches political science at emporia state university michael one of governor brown bet's recommendations for this session is that some state agencies should be consolidated that's right and that some of the things that were mentioned in terms of cost efficiency is a really policy changes merging of forty over insurance without over security sets a massive policy change especially win here we're just pulling out of the great recession when some would argue a lack of regulation in the securities industry among other things contributed to an economic collapse and that's a massive massive policy change that not just saving some money

same thing with merging kate out with the kansas turnpike authority begins turnpike authority has always been fi founded an autonomous this would be a policy change made it be a good policy change maybe it wouldn't but it's not a budget cutter to pass change let's rejoin the governor it said that we will propose a modest target of revenue measures to fund a socialist state services non any proposal as fast as the state budget people will find provisions to dislike that's unnecessary start of any conversation but good negotiations require given taking kansans deserve no less as a state we have pioneered new ground on small business policy kansas was the first day the nation to pass a jew small business tax policy focused on lifting income taxes on job creators with two thirds of kansans working for small businesses this policy is targeted support that kansans have used to do things like increasing

pay for employees hold prices down for their products or to expand their businesses your tag is one such kansas business located in clay center there recently made kansas exporter of the year they use the tax benefits increases sauer have their employees as new businesses declining nationally we boast a record number of new businesses in kansas businesses from missouri and women across the board are making kansas city more of a kansas city president lech trump's tax plan target small businesses speaker ryan's tax plan targets is target small businesses in much the same way that our state other states most notably missouri are looking at how to create an economic atmosphere for private sector job growth the biggest creators of jobs in kansas and america or small business is hurting them puts us at a competitive disadvantage the purpose of our small business tax cut has been

to increase the number of small businesses and increased private sector job growth that policy has worked unfortunately for our budget kansas had the foresight to reform medicaid policy others are following in other states instead of an open ended fee for service program kansas became the first asian american to serve its entire medicaid population through managed care i saw leadership of lieutenant governor jeff collier we've seen more kansas serve than ever before almost a twenty five percent increase during the time we've been in office study or improving health outcomes for beneficiaries and dramatic cost savings to taxpayers and the amount of nearly one point four billion dollars now as challenging as our current budget situation is imagine if we'd follow the siren song of the affordable care act amid much discussion in

dissent are ministration determined the early adoption of obamacare was not in the best interest of kansas and we return a thirty one point five million dollar grant designed to establish a kansas exchange some of you may remember those six years later the wisdom of that decision is obvious of the twenty three state exchanges established under obamacare a majority have failed at a cost of billions of dollars and significant has to state budgets as major insurers abandoned the few remaining state exchanges the decision to refuse early adoption looks increasingly like declining a discount ticket on the titanic it's a more true for policy choices have not taken the bait on medicaid expansion and i know that's been a robust discussion topic but you've heard the promises hundreds of thousands more beneficiaries at zero cost to the state all paid for with free

federal money a new congress a mistress and walk in washington are setting the work repealing and replacing obamacare even as i speak dramatically re writing the medicaid program promises of limitless free money from washington to cover expanded populations were never going to be kept with that reality might now arrive sooner than later for states who took expansion have a reckoning could be severe given these facts you'd be foolish to endorse obamacare expansion of medicaid now the cancer or lefty on to the titanic kansas was right we should stay the course again stephen koranda k pr state house bureau chief the governor really talked about medicaid expansion how he does not want it and how he's basically pushing back against people who want to talk about it this session effectively what the governor did is said if if we had expanded medicaid maybe our budget situation would be worse he basically pointed out that there are a lot of questions now that president like

donald trump is taking office is a lot of talk about repealing obamacare and from his perspective they should not look at expanded it on the flip side when you talk to some lawmakers they say the pressure is really on now to think about expanding it because if we didn't expand medicaid we could not only provide healthcare far thousands potentially of additional low income people but it might put us in a better position if the federal government makes changes you know one scenario is the federal government might go to a block grant system where they would hand you know a certain amount of money to the states and say here you go handle it effectively how you want to if we hadn't expanded medicaid system in place already in that situation may be we could get larger block grants whether some of the arguments that people who want to expand medicaid are making now to say look just because there's going to be changes doesn't mean we should be thinking about it i think there's still an uphill climb may be on expanding medicaid but it definitely appears that the discussion will be happening this year in the legislature we will

though continue to be at the vanguard and reform an improvement over social services delivery so that in kansas wants to be fair to point all in the coming year and this administration we've taken much effort to focus our resolve and our efforts on solving the long term issues facing the state of kansas issues like more jobs we've added sixty four thousand private sector jobs in the preserve water resources within the life of the old awkward for extended in some areas the conservation a new technology they need to expand wind energy production we see ten billion dollars invested across the state of kansas and wind energy the need to help the poor of monks is we tripled the number of able bodied adults leaving poverty of the needs is to protect and save innocent life we've increased the number of mothers choose in life and help for themselves and their children it's

b they do dress quality of life issues will say this year the groundbreaking for a new facility and wind up county to host the american royal an internationally significant livestock show and the world's biggest and best barbecue competition we also see the completion of the foothills nature trail and early hundred mile trail through the heart of our beloved tall grass prairie there's another major long term issue that we've not been able to address is a shortage of medical and dental personnel interstate for as long as i can remember kansas has expressed a critical shortage of medical doctors particularly in our rural areas we probably have ninety two hundred and five counties ninety two classified as medically underserved and eighty seven of our counties are

under server dentistry they were proposing three solutions but made dollars of in place in the budget to start new residency programs in kansas this proposal came from the rural healthcare working richard when dr koehler the second proposal was establishment of a privately funded dr bostic that the school in kansas osteopathic schools have a higher percentage of their graduates practicing medicine and primary areas hit with primary care and in rural areas because our needs are chronic and most acute in rural areas are vast terry holdren the ceo of the kansas farm bureau to head the task force and bringing a dios go to kansas other school will follow the little known medical legacy of one of our most famous kansans fall down one leaving k u for a time fall down attended medical stolen became a doctor of osteopathic eventually return to the jay awesome bolstered his illustrious career not only as a coach but also as a

diego uses medical training to treat his players and juries wiley we need dentists again politically in our rural areas kansas is not have a dental school remains dependant on our state schools this is not a long term solution i proposed budget has my to begin the development of a kansas dental school at the university of kansas medical center again professor michael smith of emporia state university are dodges rusty out that the are trained more generally trained morris family care type of practitioners wears many andy's end up becoming specialists armed so the thinking is incentivizing a ideal school could bring in more eventual family care thai doctors that would work him rural kansas one thing i think is interesting is the divergence of the two approaches the proposal for a dental school would be at one of the existing state medical

schools where as the proposal for audio school would be incentivizing a private school i'm not quite sure why we're going in different directions on the stoop ooh what implications of doing it through one of the existing regions institutions reverses attracting hour private institution well board of regents authority would be huge one arm various states rules and expectations with regards to our ten year for the professors and hiring firing out in classified employees a staff all these kinds of things that there would be extensive i suspect that part of this may have to do with the rivalry between andy's and the o's arm it made be that the state's existing medical schools piggly k u mad which course is the big dog here with its satellite campuses around the state doesn't want to get involved in training the arrows and i suspect that's why he went to a private sector

led us begin working to door the future now moving forward to address his chronic health care needs of our state gordon the most recent information from the federal child and family services review our state's foster care program was first in the nation and protecting foster care kids from abuse and second in the nation in safely maintaining children in their homes but other areas required truman and we're working with dc's in the kansas state department of education to improve the system for transferring records for years in foster care with stephen foster care move homes or school records must also move the swamp our teachers and foster parents to better understand and improve education for students in foster care preparing for a brighter future also demands action from the legislature regarding kansas students the most significant legislative test you have in front of you this year is building a new school funding system that puts

students if beak this though is a big task that hasn't been done in complete and full since nineteen ninety two for decades the children of kansas suffered i believe under an overly complicated education finance formula that lacked accountability for results hank of local school boards and spent money and related to student achievement with the kansas state board of education which sought new ideas to better equip kansas duties the first century the time has come to create a school finance system driven by outcomes that provide more opportunities for students when aid predictability and sustainability for both educators and taxpayers when it to measure success not by dollars spent to buy the achievement of our students now is the time this is the session

for us to craft a new school finance system that puts kansas students first let's get it done back in with stephen koranda keep your statehouse bureau chief steven bring us up to speed on where we are with school finance panel what the governor has in mind while the governor i said he was not going to propose a specific plan and so far you know he's held with that what he did at the state of the state was kind of layout a few over arching goals cano the main one being that he wants something that focuses on student outcomes we don't know how much that would be you know rewarding specific outcomes are helping districts that are struggling it we'd have unseen specifics because as i mentioned he's not putting out a specific plan so now the way it's going to work is lawmakers are affectively starting almost from scratch this year they haven't done a whole a lot of the last couple years to write a new funding formula so this year the pressure is really on because the block grants are supposed to expire this year so we have in the house to this special committee created to

look at k twelve budget issues and i just talked to a staff member in the senate who said they're thinking of doing the same thing in the senate so lawmakers are really probably going to be getting a crack in on this gathering information background info from you know parties who would be affected by this and start putting together what they would like to see do lawmakers seem as interested as the governor does and have some type of merit based component of school finance after the state of the state speech actually ask a couple lawmakers about that and their perspective was well we didn't give specifics on that so it's kind of hard to know lawmakers i think a lot of them are not opposed to something that is really focusing on student outcomes but it's kind of the howdy do i mean if you're just rewarding districts that do well walled that argument carries year of basically helping districts that are already doing ok so there are definitely ways to look in outcomes and focus on outcomes the question is how do you go about doing that lawmakers are not opposed to it but it depends the details they end up working out

our founders laid the framework for suitable education for all kids are statistically new as do we that a key to preserving our liberty is educating the next generation we have a moral imperative to improve the educational outcomes opportunities and caricature of every student and the top of their class the middle of the block as a deal this new funding system we must innovate blu ray ali is one of the state's most innovative school districts their innovation works earlier this year blue valley high school students placed second highest in the world for a math and science test scores congratulations on your ass that is a fantastic accomplishment now we need more of those projects like education superhighway pave the way for towards productivity in the classroom systems can began interacting with the tools of our

time we must repair today's students for tomorrow's opportunities every student in every classroom or have affordable affect the high speed internet that's what we need it's b the ability to rate is critical and then he programs like kansas read roadmap ensure that struggling students receive the additional help they need to succeed young man named connerly seven years old he's with us tonight born with down syndrome and several health complication as young man's worked hard to reach goals that come easy to other children he joined kansas reading roadmap last august spending time with shelley to specialist a car is now able to better identify letters and words and reading his ride around the bend along with his mother tanya this dynamic fell on his review special shelly are with us tonight

mara can you stand out and it was a big wave we must also acknowledges support the tens of thousands of kansans who like shelley dedicate their lives to educating our children to my children teach i too have taught as a kid is not simply work in a job they are fulfilling a calling those teachers leading the way going above and beyond their duties fund should be made available to provide merit based pay increases it's b kansas has been blessed with a large number of talented compassionate and motivated educators however across the nation there's a growing demand for teachers we must recruit talented educators to come to kansas but outdated regulations sometimes prevent this simple reforms in the teacher's certification system can create a

pathway bring in more teachers to kansas we also a responsibility to build out the next generation of educators we need the best and brightest is following in the steps of the teachers that inspired them college cost can make this difficult for a nasa launch of teachers can and his fellowship program for kansas college students if you're successful kansas didn't commit to teach in a hard to fill discipline or under served community we will help equip you to become a teacher of tomorrow the point infrastructure and recruitment are partial keys to success the witness also empower parents with information and choices creating more competition in our education system or parental information and transportation we should create a grading system for

schools to measure and report their status to the public areas have the right to know how the performance of their child's school compares to other schools the zip code and which you're born should not determine the quality of education you receive we should expand eligibility of existing tax exempt scholarship program we should continue to build our career and technical education programs read paris students to have good paying jobs upon graduation and we should support education savings accounts a great opportunities for parents and students to improve their academic options recapping the education they can distances a college degree you will never stints possess the academic ability to attend college the financial cost of the bachelor's degree can prove prohibitive can does deserve access to an affordable college options tonight and laid out a

challenge for our colleges and universities to revive the opportunity to earn a bachelor's degree and total for fifty thousand dollars or less let's jump back in here again on today's tv are present we're walking through governor brownback says state of the state address with some of our political analyst bobby we've just heard the governor challenge our colleges to come up with a way to earn a bachelor's degree for fifteen thousand dollars any idea where that came from texas so that the challenge for the fifteen thousand dollar be a there's a citation for tennis text i looked it up and a few years ago governor rick perry who's a friend of governor brownback made a challenge in texas for a ten thousand dollar ba and according to the article just your number of texas schools in an educational experts to look into this and

discussed this and what this seems like they've ended up with and maybe in florida too and i haven't looked at that too closely than taxes is online degrees i mean the possibility to get a ba online in under a special program for fifteen thousand dollars or less so that's it's really fine you just can't imagine being able to go watch bernard hey your case vader or state or four days of not keeping them you know go into classrooms for fifteen thousand dollars in four years that that would be tough and that may be there's a possibility of an online degree or less until two thousand and four and now will the challenge is great the potential achievement is even greater address the kansas colleges and universities are fully capable the rise of this call with success in this field already proven another state's my budget fully funds fifties student

scholarships to the institution that first accomplishes the fifty thousand dollar degree there's much work to be done both in k twelve and higher education but i'm confident that the working together we can create greater opportunity and a brighter future for students you might be familiar with the story of benjamin franklin at the head of the constitutional convention he was the oldest delegate attendance and had not spoken often during the convention but in his final speech you say to this i confess that there are several parts of this constitution which i do not now i present approved but i am not sure i shall never approve them the older i grow the more apt diane to doubt my own judgment and that they will respect to the judgment of others the judgment of others has brought each of us here we owe them our ways in our

labor and progress and putting my time as secretary of agriculture white house fellow congressman senator now governor this really my thirtieth year in public service it's been another appreciate the chance to serve the people of kansas they're wonderful people a number of years starting maybe for the first time it represented people kansas irena love that it's difficult for the challenges that these are wonderful people that we work for but to paraphrase tony blair noted they deserve around a philosophy to paraphrase tony blair though one said the danger of longevity in government is pretty benefit his experience and melissa you a thing as

drama where it and i think it's about a writer if you'll permit me some brief words of advice now davis make relationships your priority and always do things that the long view in mind relationships should be a priority and have a long view is what really keep in mind every day a legislator faces the tyranny of the ringing phone inbox flooded with emails the urgent crowding out important but it is and relationships that we actually get the work done ivan less of many close relationships in my life my wife in the most important and here i've had a chance to grow close with a good times and in bad one of those relationships is your night moral go until he's a friend and former legislator and i say this various actually all around good guy it's

been where i want to say that right to try bill pass that you pursued access to cancer drugs and early stage and always remember your signature line as first long as i live and those of you know mario you can say it with me it doesn't get any better than this the poet long after we're gone from here or what will remember the relationships and the people that were there will be policy disputes of the policy fights we've got one of those are going to go on but it's a people that's what's matters and its people do it from the heart and work i have lots of disputes but i hope we all can work on those

pieces of it because that's all remember that's the good stuff and the closer the fallen the gracie overstate you've heard often over state motto after pressure to the stars or difficulty of fitting model for people like tires of accomplish much and not easy one of the alternatives models that there was nearly accepted with a simple words we will abed choice either for such a determined and blessed people as we've been the picture on the ceo represents many aspects of our state's past and present the buffalo native americans a steamboat sellers farmers and of course the home on the range but the vigil the most catches my eye is the part of the seal easiest ignore ravens of state and notice all together it's the glow of the rising sun a glow that's both brilliant and hardly tranquil

almost otherworldly quite a contrast all the action overseas that glow speaks to me of a future full of light peace that we will only achieve through difficulty a future even beyond the stars this is the place your destiny lies my son of and countless churches synagogues and places of worship across her best bird kansas is a blast place this is a good land but has never forget the god of our forefathers who blessed it anise and their eyes never lose sight of the goal and that heavenly place where peace reigns forever more may god continue to bless the people of our home to kansas we've been listening to governor sam brownback sixty thousand seventeen state of the state address last analysis by kbr statehouse bureau chief stephen koranda professor bob

beatty of washburn university and professor michael smith of emporia state university i'm kate mcintyre exclusive coverage of the two thousand seventeen kansas state of the state address was provided by kansas action for children a nonprofit working at the statehouse to improve the lives of kansas children and their families on the web at play ac dot org many many koreans oh

i'm sorry they may be that too hardest words in the english language and two of the most powerful for the rest of this hour the apology dr harriet lerner of lawrence is one of america's most respected expert on relationships and the best selling author of the dance of anger her latest book is why won't you apologize healing big betrayals and everyday hurts welcome dr lerner i'm delighted to be here you have forty five years as a practicing therapist under your belt why did you think that this book needed to be written the apology is so important because we're all connected we'll screw up where imperfect human beings we always will unwittingly hurt people just as we are hurt by them to serve the need to that give and receive apologies is with us still are very last breath and if done

correctly an apology is deeply healing and if the apology is absent or it's a bad apology and actually can protect a crack in the very foundation of the relationship or you can end the relationship speaking about apologies one of the things you talk about in your book is that it's not enough to just say i'm sorry we have to get it right why is it so hard to get that right because it's so easy to get it wrong you may be we should talk about though the key ways that we mock up the apology because it's where where of that it can help put us on track so the number one offender is the word but i'm sorry i yelled to you that you're joking me right or i'm sorry that i forgot the meeting but i was totally snowed under with

work it doesn't matter if what you say after the bike is true it makes the apology thoughts so get your but how does your have a holly no pun intended and then another way we ruined apologies which is a little more subtle as we apologize for the other person's reactions rather than for our own behavior on like if i said i'm really sorry that you were upset that i corrected hear stories that the party that's not an apology and so are you feel that way it wasn't my intention to hurt you that's not an apology i'm sorry if i hurt your feeling it right empty apology would be i'm sorry that i corrected your stories at the party you had told me that you didn't like that i was wrong and i won't do it again and then of

course you know here's a very obvious thing but if we apologize with the grand flourish and then we repeat the very thing that we are polish ties for of course it's totally empty its income and no surprise to any male female couple that there are real gender differences on how or why whether we say i'm sorry i catch myself saying i'm sorry all the time many of my emails start out i'm sorry for the delay getting back to you sorry i missed your call i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry what if that all about well i was you know my generation of women were certainly raced to feel guilty if we were anything less than an emotional service station to others and guilty for using up valuable oxygen in the room and it is true that one risk factor for being and i endure

apologize sir is to be raised male and the greatest risk for being an over apologize there is to be raised female so many women will identify with what you're saying like oh i'm so sorry it is you're about to speak it mean to interrupt you and o you're gonna sit here i'm so sorry and and the problem with the endless streams of i'm sorry says that whatever the cause it's get to tell it tan so if you've forgotten to return your friends tupperware don't apologize numerous times as if you've run over her kicking over apologizing creates distance it interrupts the flow of normal conversation it will irritate your friends who have to stop and reassure you like no no don't worry about it rather than talk

about what they want to talk about and i will say you know that this sort of over this her bid to offset of self effacing girls thing on this is not it it's not at the heart of what we're talking about because when it comes to the real apology for a serious injury and what that demands of us on the demand to really accept responsibility without a hint of that station or excuse making are blaming the capacity to listen without defensiveness this challenge crosses gender and culture and age and all of the air filters through which we see reality so it's really a basic human talent my kids are grown now but when they were

younger i remember breaking up disputes between them and usually ending with they tell your sister your sorry what's a better way to teach kids how to apologize well there's nothing wrong for asking for an apology and if its narrative so if we think an apology is due this absolutely nothing wrong with saying to our child's you know i'd like you to apologize the problem is that parents do not know how to say thank you for the apology i really appreciate it and stop they are so what parents did that make children absolutely allergic to apologize saying is they say thank you for the apology but i really wish that i didn't have to ask you for three times or thank you for the apology but i don't feel it was really sincere and you're looking at your

feet you go to your room and you think about how you hurt your brother's feelings and you come back and you have a really genuine apology and i've done the research on this and it makes kids one is stick their fingers in their ears and just get away and it's really interesting how difficult it is for parents to say thank you for the apology i really appreciate it keep in mind this is true for kids or adults the apology isn't the end of the conversation and other words the parent we're talking about can open up the conversation again if there's more they want their child to think about the apology isn't the end of the conversation the apology is what lower is the intensity and creates an emotional climate that further conversation can

occur later and to have you know i always anyone he gets music therapist peggy it's me as say i'm an editor and i always tell people to say it short or because we tend to over talk yanks and down i mean i was certainly guilty of that i remember a conversation took my younger son ben i doubt cleaning up the public space and high you were just be lecturing him i would go on a nine and his brain waves would be flat in his eyes which rolling back in his head and even though i didn't have his attention i would keep going so it sounds like very simple and tries to save your children thank you for the apology nothing more it's

actually very difficult it's very difficult not just in your relationships with your children except in apology in a way it's almost like accepting a compliment it can be very hard to just open yourself up to that moment and just accept what the person has to give you hear an example of that is my friend was having a dinner party and one of her friends who she invited and had just come back from a trip around europe and talked endlessly and cc easily about his travels without leaving space for other people and without asking questions to other people and to me and my friend by the way after the dinner party was ever told me how obnoxious she felt this was but when he called her when he had the integrity and maturity and courage to

call her the next day and apologize for being a conversation hike as he put it she said oh no no you know we were all very interested in your stories don't worry about it it was fine and out of her own discomfort in the moment she cancelled the apology that indeed he knew was too and that's why he called to apologize so it can be hard dr harriet lerner is the author of why won't you apologize healing big betrayals and everyday hurts so be at the lawrence public library this thursday january nineteenth and the topeka shawnee county public library february second dr lerner thanks for coming in today thank you i'm j mak entire k pr presents is a production of kansas public radio at the university of kansas or

neither