PowerPoint; Working Women; African American Motherhood

Good evening and welcome to PowerPoint, broadcasting live from Atlanta, Georgia. I'm Carmen Burns. She starts the day off with preparing breakfast amid the common sounds of a bustling household. Then, it's off to work. There, she is met with conference calls, client meetings and deadlines, all requiring immediate attention. Next, she beats rush hour, picks up the kids, prepares dinner, reviews homework assignments, and maybe, just maybe, catches the late news. Now the preceding scenario may not be anything new, it is a small glimpse into the life of the professional woman who is also a mom. Balancing a professional career and family can be quite challenging, especially for single, divorced and widowed women. On this edition of PowerPoint, empowering tips and techniques from women paired with high -stressed careers and running a household. This is PowerPoint and we're back in a moment. Production and broadcast of

PowerPoint is made possible by a grant from the Corporation for Public Broadcasting and by the National Legacy Foundation, a nonprofit organization committed to enhancing, preserving and restoring the legacy and history of life in America. This is PowerPoint, an information -age clearinghouse for news, issues and ideas that impact the African -American community, the nation and the world. Welcome back to PowerPoint, I'm Herman Burns. That's the sound of legendary jazz

vocalist Nancy Wilson and her 1976 hit This Mother's Daughter. It's also the title and inspiration for One Up Tonight's Guests. You'll hear this writer's story and others about motherhood and balancing a professional career. It's part one of a very special evening here on PowerPoint. It's a night of empowerment and inspiration. Joining PowerPoint tonight, author of This Mother's Daughter, Dr. Nelvia M. Brady. Dr. Brady's book is a collection of true stories is told by daughters about their mothers. And in our PowerPoint studios tonight, Justice Leah J. Sears, the first African -American woman to sit on Georgia's Supreme Court, and Indigo Deborah Johnson, CEO of Careers and Transition, a consulting and development firm for small to medium -sized businesses and organizations. And as always, you're invited to join the discussion. The PowerPoint hotline number is 1 -800 -3601799 -1 -800 -3601799. Good evening to all of you ladies. Happy Mother's Day. Thank you. Thank you very much. Now

we have a State Supreme Court Justice, a PhD author, and a successful entrepreneur. And first of all, I want to ask each of you, has your life turned out the way you imagined that it would be, especially bringing children into the mix, Justice Sears? I'll start with you. No, when I first started out, I expected to be a kindergarten school teacher, but somewhere along the way, I was studying a human development at Cornell University in Ithaca, New York, and found out that I was really better with older people and older children than with younger children. I decided to go to law school and fate would have it. I kept moving up the judicial ranks, so no, you know, I just set my life on a certain course, hoping to stay that course, but, you know, as things go, you just sort of have to ride the roller coaster as it goes, trying to hold on. It's been a great career, a great life, though, and I've

enjoyed myself. And to go? Never in a million years. Coming out of high school, I barely made it out of high school because I did not like school, so I went into the Marine Corps. Unfortunately, when I got out of the service, no one needed me to call airstrikes on Chicago. So I had to come up with something to do. I took a class at a local college and someone said, you are a great speaker. What are you in school for? Well, I'm just taking a couple of courses. I hope no one notices me and realize I'm not supposed to be here, because when I was in high school, they told me, you're not college material. So I started believing that, and today, I'm an adjunct faculty over at Clark, over at the Keller Graduate School of Management and DeVry. So I would never have thought to be here, because I was told earlier on that, no, that's not for you. But I let go and let God, basically, and as you said as well, it was fate, where I'm supposed to be and enjoying it. But being in the military, I didn't think I would have children. I

was going out to do combat, not diapers. Dr. Brady, what about you? I was one of seven children growing up in public housing on the west side of Chicago. I was an excellent student, however, and ever since I was in kindergarten, it was just known that I was going to go to college, though no one in my family and even in my extended family had ever done so. And I did do that graduate of valedictorian in my high school class that went off to college, and then decided that my hormones were raging and decided that the age of 19 and a half to get married. And we did that, and everyone said, you know, you better finish college, we're only going to approve of this, if you finish college. And I did, and then I went on for the master's degree, and then I went on for the PhD, and then they started asking, well, when are you ever going to stop going to school? So I guess that sort of the story of how I come to be where I am today was not planned that way. I saw myself being much like my mother, not seven children,

but a mother with children and a little house with a picket fence somewhere, and a nice husband who came home and I cook his meals and all of that. And things just turned out quite differently from me, and I'm very pleased that they did. I've had a very successful and satisfying life. Now let's talk a little bit about your book, This Mother's Daughter. What's the inspiration for that? Well, it's something that I had wanted to do for about ten years. I wanted to write a book that brought together the simple wisdom that our mothers share with us that helps us in our life's journey. And I talk about this, you know, all of our mothers tell us these things, like a hard head makes us off behind or I'm watching to this world and I'll take you out and I didn't see these compiled anywhere. And when I decided to write the book, I saw those kinds of mommolies I called them for women all over the country. But the women who responded to me were

telling me so much more, they were giving me so much more substance that it became evident that in order to do justice to that special relationship between mothers and daughters, I could not do it with a book of quotes. And then I went about the process of interviewing women and so now you have the twenty stories of women full -daughter stories and sprinkled in there is this mother with these pearls with them or mommolies that our mothers share with us. Our number is 1 -800 -360 -1799 if you'd like to share a mommolie or a mother's piece of mother's wit, if you will, 1 -800 -360 -1799, Justice Sears, something, what did your mother share with you growing up that you carry with you today? A sense of family. My mother grew up in Oklahoma, a little town called San Springs, Oklahoma and really didn't pass. I know a lot of women that are

very close to their mothers and I don't remember really hearing a lot of the little mommolies along the way, but we were so close and she was constantly imparting important information to me and as I flipped through this book, this mother's daughter is a very fine book. Somewhere in the mix I got it all and I wrote a piece a couple of weeks ago, a tribute to my own daughter, Brennan, who I'm always, you know, I drive along with her and I'm always trying to impart some little bit of wisdom, hoping it'll stick along the way. I'm not good with mommolies or little quips or quotes, but you do really try to throw things at your children, my son Addison, my daughter, Brennan. My husband asked all two, hoping that they will stick to them. Dr. Brady?

One of the things that I did learn in response to Judd's Sears comments is that we pick up so many things from our mothers and many times we don't even realize we are picking them up and for some of the women in the book, the 20 women, the relationships were very challenging, very complex relationships. There is a story where one daughter says that she hated her mother for most of her life, but the realization that I had having completed the book was that our mothers do have a tremendous influence over us and even in our rejection of them, they have a primary influence over our lives, the women that we do become. Indigo? I think there's two things that my mother instilled in me in one. You know, we all go through those hardships on the job where things aren't going right or we feel ostracized and just various things. Now, I remember one particular incident where I really didn't know what to do,

didn't know where to turn, felt very alienated, and I started thinking what would my mother do? Because my mother worked at Caterpillar for those people who don't understand that type of environment. It's a blue collar environment, mostly white men, very racist. My mother started off cleaning bathrooms and worked away up to be an executive with less than a high school degree, and I think back how she had to put up with some of the most hostile environment that we don't even can even begin to identify with, and I started thinking my white collar job, just being maybe not treated very well, I buckled, and I started thinking about what my mother had done, and it gave me the courage and it gave me the strength to go back and confront them. And I would just listen to how my mother handled people, and I really admired her for that. And then the other one is when my grandmother was dying from leukemia, I watched how my

mother treated her mother. She treated my grandmother as if she was an angel in Saint, she was by her bedside, and she instilled in me how to treat another woman, how to treat another mother. And now, like yesterday, I took my mother to an all day spot, I tricked her and said we were going shopping, but there's not enough I can do for my mother because she showed me how to do it by treating her mother that way. So those are the two things that my mother did, and I picked up from her. I found when I started the blog, I started it from a perspective of having a very warm and nurturing relationship with my mother, much like that Judge Sears and Indigo described. And one of the things that I learned in the process of writing the blog was that this is not a norm. It really isn't, and those of us who have

this kind of relationship are truly blessed. I've not, my book, even though I'm prepared to do a sort of theoretical, analytical approach to such a subject matter, I did not approach the book that way, I simply took the stories. But if the indicators from my book are any reflection of what is actually happening, mine indicates that only about a quarter of those relationships are the kind that all three of us have described. And I make this point, I have had for the entire course of my life an ongoing conversation or dialogue with my mother, almost on a daily basis, either I pick up the phone and talk to her, or as you said Indigo, in my head, you know what would you do, what would you do. But not just my mother, I have another kind of a three

or four other close women, they're not my mothers, but they're my aunts, or other very, very close women that all have mothered me because moving along as a Supreme Court justice, being black and female has been often very lonely, very few people you could talk to. But I have about three or four mothers that I could all black, all women, I could always pick up the phone and get that comfort and support from. Excellent. Our number is 1 -800 -360 -1799, 1 -800 -360 -1799, it's Mother's Day, and we'd love for you to share your stories about your mother. Let's go to Ebony in South Carolina, good evening. Hi, my name is Ebony. Well, my mom, she's a female boxer, and recently she just fought Leila Ali, you might know who that is.

Ebony, are you still with me? I think we'll have to come back to Ebony in just a moment. Okay, she was talking about her mother being a boxer who fought Leila Ali, and I can't wait for her to come back, because I definitely want to hear that. 1 -800 -360 -1799 is our number, and Dr. Brady, you mentioned that most of your stories are, the stories that we were talking about were not the norm. Can you talk a little bit more about that? Yeah, there were many stories where the relationships between the mother and the daughter were filled with conflict, where there were a lot of sort of psychic scars where the women and the mothers did not communicate. I think of the story of Anna and Arlene, where Arlene was the foster mother, and Arlene called Anna Ugly, and throughout the time that she had her, that she had dying cow eyes, and there was not very much love in that relationship.

I think of the story of Vernel and Vernel, where the daughter hated her mother throughout her life, didn't respect her, nothing she did was right. She didn't like the way she looked, she didn't like the way she handled her business, she didn't like the way she related to her father, and only now when Vernel is in her 50s, and she's caring for her aging mother, as that relationship been able to develop, and she now truly sees her. I have a section in the book called Reclaim Your Story, which is just a lot of simple questions because what I found was that many of the women had not taken the time to know their mothers, to know their mothers as women, and to know about them as daughters. As I'm suggesting that if you do this, if you begin to know your mother as a woman, and if you begin to know about the daughter that she was, then through that knowledge, you can better know yourself. A lot of times, though, we have conflicts with, I mean, it's just natural

of a lot of times, but I guess it's overcoming that after you get out of your teenage years and even your young adult years to try to maybe even make peace or to see your mother as a woman. I love my mother dearly, but I'm not going to sit here and say that my relationship is conflict -free, and I don't know many women that can see that, and there is that deep abiding love there that sustains us and that will sustain us, but it is, I guess, other than my relationship with my husband, the most complex relationship I have to master, and I think I'm 45 now. I think it probably is a matter of mastering myself in the relationship, knowing now that you really can't whip somebody else into shape. And to shape out the shape that you want them to be? It won't happen. And I think a large part of relationship is forgiveness.

I know I carried with me for a long time. I was mad with my mother up until my early adult for things that she did that she believed was the right thing. Just the discipline, as teenagers, you don't want us, you don't tell me anything. And now you have two women in the same household, sister that that, and not to say that we can't get along, but we had conflict. But as I got older and got, became more in tune with who I am, and understanding her, and as Dr. Brady said, her as a daughter, how she interacted with her mother, the forgiveness was, I was able to forgive her for things, and also realize that some of the things I needed to have done to me, or needed to learn from. Even now, my son who was 17, I said, I'm not going to say this to my son. I'm not going to hit my son. I'm not that boy. I want to kill him sometimes. And I got to took all the things I didn't like that she was doing and said, I'm

not going to do it. And now I'm realizing I needed to do it. That's what I meant when I said, even sometimes in our rejection, they still have the primary influence. I did not, I'm not speaking, however, of the challenges that we have, the things that have been during adolescence and during our 18 years where our mothers make us angry. And we go through periods of time where we're very upset with them. There are a number of women in my story who have life -long problems and issues that go unresolved. By way of example, if I could turn to one of the stories, I think of Lila, Mary and Nancy. And this story, Nancy was the mother. She got pregnant or she had Lila and she was busy getting her graduate degree. So she gave Lila to her sister, Mary. And she went on about her life, Mary raised Lila and Nancy came back

and forth into Lila's life as her aunt throughout her whole life. Bringing her new family, doing much better than Lila was doing in Mary's house though. And these kinds of issues, this kind of rejection, leaves deep wounds. And one of the things that I totally agree with is this notion of forgiveness that all too frequently we carry stuff, even when it's really serious, such as Lila, Mary and Nancy. But there comes the point when we have to make peace with our history and not spend our life reliving that kind of pain. Our number is 1 -800 -360 -1799, 1 -800 -360 -1799. Now Indigo and Justice Sears, you two are mothers. Three children and Indigo. Three sons. You have two. A girl and a boy, yes. And balancing

that with your careers. How have you been able to manage that? I don't sleep. No, I mean it's a lot sometimes. It's not just the work, but it is also my husband would say, my standard of perfection that I really don't like. I like a clean house. I'm not a great cook, but I like having decent food on the table. I want to be at my children's functions. I've tried very hard not to let my children go. I know too many people who have achieved professionally whose children grow up little, not so hot people, you know, through neglect or the kids thinking that, you know, because they have a parent that's doing something that somehow endures to them. That's right. So I've really tried to work as much as I can on my children. I have a fairly flexible

job, but it is a heavy job. I have to be away many nights often on the weekends. And I read constantly wherever I'm going, but it's a matter of staying abreast of, you know, working hard, working long, and I have a very supportive husband who stands beside me and helps out the family. Well with me having my own company, I found to really be a success. And this is just me. I had to travel. I had to go to Chicago, New York, and D .C. with my clients. But once I had the two -year -old, I brought my mother here and she's his primary caregiver. It looks just like her too. But I still found that that's not enough. He still needed mom at home. So I started trying to build my business here in Atlanta. And it's not as fulfilling. It's not as fruitful. So I'm in career transition myself.

I'm looking at starting a nonprofit so I can stop traveling. So I can be here with the kids. And I think that's going to help all three of them, not just the two -year -old. Because being on the road, it's great. It's fun. You eat out. You get some quiet time. A lot of quiet time. But the kids do not get what they need through osmosis. They really don't. So that's a tough thing is to say I'm going to maybe step away from the business as I know it and start either nonprofit where I'm going to help people who are infected and affected with AIDS or just really focus on trying to build the business a little bit better here in Atlanta. Well, I have to say to both of you that I have such great admiration for women who can do what the two of you have done. Because I don't know. I can hardly manage to do what I'm doing as a professional woman by myself. I mean, it is just I think a lot to

manage well all that you're having to manage and you have my deep admiration for your ability to do that and to balance it well. Dr. Brady, what about the women that you talk to in your book? Did any of them have any issues concerning career and family and any impact that it might have had on their children? Most of the women were sort of more of your stereotypical working type mothers. Their jobs were not Supreme Court justices or CEOs. They didn't have the kinds of jobs that required them to travel, that required them to do intense study or that just simply weighed heavily on their minds when they came home from work. So I didn't see any of them. That may be a generational thing because the youngest woman in the book is in her mid 20s. I would imagine if I took some of the women who are college age women

now as daughters or teenagers, their mothers would reflect a different career profile. 1 -800 -360 -1799 is our number 1 -800 -360 -1799. Well, the end of you feel that the current economic conditions may and social changes affect new mothers differently these days, especially black mothers than at any other time. Maybe not the social and economic. I really think the availability of husbands will affect motherhood. I really do. Also, because you're finding more single mothers, I have many friends who are also going through divorces. I'm finding more women are becoming more independent and living as single women, raised by choice. Well, see, I have three sons. So I really do believe it's important to have a husband to raise boys. I'm a woman. I don't believe I can teach him boy to be a man. I can teach him maybe a daughter to be a good mother and wife. But my personal view is I wouldn't want to

raise three sons alone. I'm also deeply concerned about the loss of black fathers to black children. I am really concerned about the rise of single motherhood as a choice. I really don't think it is popular. It is the modern thing. I am divorced. I know these things happen, but I would really think it would be a sad day when people just become single mothers by choice because what it does is denigrate fatherhood. I know this is mother's day, but fathers are very, very important not only for black men to put to rear fine black women too. I know how important my father was in my life and development. Well, that's the subject of my next book. Okay, we'll talk about that in just a moment. That will be out for Father's Day next year. Okay, we'll continue with more of PowerPoint in just a moment. Our number is 1 -800 -360 -1799. We're

back in a moment. PowerPoint is funded in part by PowerPoint's Affiliate Station Consortium, KTSU FM in Houston, WRVSFM in Elizabeth City, North Carolina, Atlantis WRFGFM, WEAAFM in Baltimore, WJSUFM in Jackson, Mississippi, and KPVUFM serving Prairie View, Texas. PowerPoint's Affiliate Station Consortium committed to the continuation of quality public radio programming. Some of tonight's guests are also featured in the May issue of the Atlanta Tribune. The Atlanta Tribune, the southeast leading news magazine covering pertinent news affecting African Americans in the areas of business, careers, politics, and technology. Visit their website at www .adlandertribune .com. Stay tuned, there's more PowerPoint. And welcome back to PowerPoint. I'm Carmen Burns.

It is Mother's Day, so we're talking about mothers. We are joined by the author of this mother's daughter, Dr. Nelvia Embraidery. Her book is a collection of true stories is told by daughters about their mothers, and also joining us tonight, Justice Leah Sears, the first African -American woman to sit on Georgia Supreme Court and Indigo Deborah Johnson, CEO of Careers in Transition, a consulting and development firm for small to medium -sized businesses and organizations. And as always, you are invited to get in on the discussion. We're talking about your mom, by the way, 1 -800 -360 -1799 -1800 -360 -1799. Dr. Raider, before you went to the break, you were talking about your new book. After this one, it was going to deal with fathers. Yes, it's going to address the issue of daughters and their fathers. I've completed all of the interviewing of the women that will be included in the blog, exploring from the mouths of daughters again the impact of the father or father

figure on their lives in terms of not only their careers and career development, their personal development, their self -esteem, their sense of themselves as a woman, etc. So that should be how it will be published by St. Martin's Press for Father's Day next year. Oh, wonderful. Okay. Well, we have some callers lined up. Our number is 1 -800 -360 -1799. Let's go to Andrea in Philadelphia. Good evening. Hi. How are you? Great. Go ahead. I was going to say something to the point that was made earlier about how many women are chosen to be single mothers and me. I'm only 22. I have a number of friends that are single mothers and they just happen to have babies by men that just weren't like the greatest men in terms of being a father figure and being men themselves. Number one, and number two, even though

I am young, I haven't seen a whole lot of the world, but two only brothers are run into like they all caught up and like getting the latest joy and getting their guest jeans and like getting girls that look fly, you know, on with the nails and the weeds. But these are also the same men that are popping out babies like, I don't know, just with the creepness. So to a certain extent, I don't blame a lot of mothers for choosing to go that route. For choosing not to have the father involved? Because the same basically that the fathers that they were dealing with really aren't father figures anyway. Yes, I think there's only one guy that I know as my age is the good father figure, the rest of them they're just a bunch of bones. I know there's one guy that decided to spend a couple hundred dollars getting his daughter a cozy outfit for Easter and I'm sitting here telling him you could use them money,

invest a while, we save it so I can go to school later. Not to spend 300 dollars for the skillet tube for a day. Yeah, okay, and to go. You know, it's interesting you said these fathers or these men are popping out babies. Men don't pop out babies. Women have babies. Women make the choice to have babies. And it's really interesting when I see young mothers, especially teens having children or pregnant. And if they're on wed, it says to me that they're practicing on safe sex. And because I'm very active in the AIDS movement and work with people are infected or affected with AIDS, I just can't understand how anyone is still having unprotected sex and making the choice to want to have children out of wetlock with men who may not be the best choice. So we make choices in life. And one is if you want to be a mother, part of your choice is finding that man who is going to make a good father for your child. Not just a good person who's good to go to the movies and things like that. It goes beyond that. A good, you know, you don't want a good sperm donor. A part of being a woman

is finding a good man to marry that man and to have a baby by that man if God willing it. And any other kind of arrangement does it make sense? Well, I'm going to go back to my momelies and there are two that come to my mind. And one of them is you are who you sleep with. And the other one is it takes two to tango. And I say to young women who want to be mothers who are say 28 to 30 and who are thinking that their biological clock is running out. If you have such a strong desire to mother and if there is no father, then there are lots of children out here. There are a lot of children who have no one. And that's something that not enough of us are doing that is taking care of adopting children, foster caring of children. I'm sure Indigo you must run into some of this. But there is no reason I agree totally to assume that you can raise this child

as good as a good mother and a good father. You can do that by yourself. I just I know that it happens. I know that many people are raised well by mothers. But just think how great it would be if there was a good father in there. Definitely. It's not it just seems to me not something you would choose to do it. If it happens, then you you know it's a B position and you try to make it better. Yeah, but it's not something you you search for. There's a lot of that going on. I'm okay. 1 -800 -360 -1799 is our number Dadrick in Houston. Good evening. Hi. How are you? Great. Go ahead. Okay. I'm calling. First of all, I'm going to tell the speakers that speaking to and I'm going to go out and get your book and read the book. Thank you. I cannot speak too much on it because I haven't read the book. Second of all, I am a single parent. Dadrick, can you turn your radio down for me? Sure. Okay. Thank you. I have a seven -year -old daughter and a five -year -old son that's been with me now about four and

a half years. And that's not my choice. She made that choice. I don't I don't it's a lot of good men out here and maybe some of the women are looking in the wrong places for those men. And maybe they're looking at the the outer side and setting the inner side. I'm only a heavy side of a guy and I I'm doing what I supposed to do and I mean I call because I was saying I was curious about it. I mean it is good men out here and these women are looking in wrong places for that. I read a newspaper column for a newspaper call, insight news based out of Minneapolis and I wrote a column called We're All the Good Men and I believe that there are lots of good men out here and my article basically says addresses the point of what we're looking for and the kinds of things that many women are looking for are not the kinds of things that make for good relationship. They go out there looking for what kind of car he drives, how good he looks, how he dresses and they're not looking at things the really important

things that make for good men. And I think to the young woman who called earlier that women, all of us not just young women need to take a look at what we are looking for and when we get down to what's really important all of these other kinds of things are not what we talk about when we talk about why we leave them and why we divorce them. We're not talking about the car they were driving when we talk about why we needed to have a divorce. So why would we use those as indicators when it makes us elections? Okay I'm going to say one more thing and then I'm going to be quiet. I think for like that all women that means 20 -year -olds and up if the communication level starts from the beginning of the friendship then I don't think I think everybody can be clear on what they all are looking for. If it's going to be a friendship type of thing then that's what it's going to be if it's going to be a type of thing that's going to move into a future type of thing for longevity type of relationship marriage either then that's what I think

it should be a lot of relationships and friendships or no communication at all. Do you make a good point Andrea? Listen thanks so much for your phone call 1 -800 -360 -1799 is our number. Let's go to Chris in Atlanta. Good evening. Good to be on your show. I would have been on sooner but my 10 -year -old was having to show me how to use the redial. The young lady before I thought it interesting who said that she didn't think that she could raise a male child by herself without a man around or she didn't think she could do as a good job. I think we're kind of making an excuse there. I don't think it's so much that you need a man around as you need a two -parent family around. I make the point of lesbians who are married to each other and have a male child. Now I would suggest that two women are capable of raising that male child as well as a man on a woman could or as two men could. So consequently I think what we have here is not so much that a man has something unique to give but a woman doesn't as much as we need to have two parents in the household. Interesting point. Okay Chris thanks so much

for your phone call. Now Dr. Brady do you deal with lesbian relationships in your book don't you? I do. There's one story about a woman, a daughter who is a lesbian, she tells her mother -daughter story and at the point that we talked she had not revealed to her mother that she was lesbian. She had not revealed it. Now the same woman is when she's about 45 and she has no children at this stage. So I don't know how she will cope with that situation decide to take that on. Now Indigo you were the one that was talking about having a man around. What do you think? Well I understand what he is saying but there are I'm surprised to hear that coming from a man that a woman can teach everything to us a man that a man can. I have an incident where my son did something and

was caught doing it and my husband set him down and talked to him. The things that my husband said to him shocked me I was like that's how men think. I was surprised to hear those things because there's things that I would say to my son from a woman's perspective but when his father said it it was like wow you know about how you treat a woman. How you take her and do certain things and it was just really powerful to come from another man and for me to sit in and hear how that's how men think about things. There is a difference between men and women how we process this information and how we disseminate information and for us to say it's the same it's not but if he's able to do it and be able to talk to his daughter. Well yeah there are men though who are who are raising who are raising by the same token. And it can be done and it can be done very well. I'm sure if my husband was where to die I wouldn't have to run out and get another man to replace him. I would do a very good job of it but what I'm saying is there are things that I cannot do as a man.

I mean that's just me. Maybe it's my limitations. I am a much the same perspective in to go and it's just and I do think in our culture in general there there are certain things that men are taught. I don't know what those things are. I've never been a man so I don't I don't quite know how to put on those shoes if you will and how I would convey that to a son. I don't know how to do that. It seems to me that and I've been watching the law and social development now for about 20 years that we are in a phase of our social culture social life where the men's role fathers roles in families have really been are really being suppressed to the role of the rising role of the female we can I'm independent I can do it all I can do it all I mean even in the dating patterns I don't need you I can do it

all men have very little responsibility of growing up with the sense that well then you do it all as they're just needed really I guess it studs and not really as you know members of the family the way I knew my father to be the grand patriarch of the family that's a very very sad societal ship 1 -800 -360 -1799 Rachel in Houston good evening Rachel are you with me hello hello go ahead well I was calling because I was listening to the conversation as I was driving from the exhibit today and I was heard hearing about the mother daughter relationship and my mother and I we didn't have a good relationship coming up although she was she was strict but through the year she had developed cancer and all that and through the end of it I ended up taking care of her don't get me wrong

I love my mother to death and I didn't have a problem taking care of her and through the years we had a I was our father when mother was divorced they had he was very involved I even had a great stepfather but at the same time love it the single parent to be good raise it up I'm about my own business and all that now well good your mother did well then Rachel thanks so much for sharing your story let's go to Alvin in Atlanta hi Alvin hi Carmen hi go ahead the very fact that the black females are saying they can't find marriageable black men tells me they're quite sexist quite self no why do you say that because they don't factor in the fact that black men are under tremendous tremendous psychological and physical attack as we speak I was in L .A. during the prop 209 fight in white females finally minute what I've known for 10 years now they've benefited the most then black females

then black male black females have always had it easy in the job market because they are less of a threat the immigrants for example will hire a black female before they hire a young black male so the fact that they're choosing and they are choosing that's the sexism they have children out of where lot is going to hurt us when the next system comes around and we see that there's about 40 million Hispanics in more Asians and ever and we're on the absolute bottom of the totem pole and we don't have that strong family we can forget it but what does that have to do with finding marriageable or married type men or men who you can marry is that it almost sounds like it's because black females are saying all the time and I read all the time they can't find marriage with they marry a man a very high character who's making nine bucks now if she has her masters would she support that man if you are true feminist you don't expect a man to spend age to support you and I've never met a real feminist okay all right Alan thanks so much for your call need if you care to get in on get in on this I just want to thank

him too well I think Alan is repeating what I said I think they're plenty good men out here I just think we're looking for the wrong thing some of the wrong places I think demographically however with those numbers I don't know but I know a number of men who are in my age bracket who say the same thing it's hard to find a good woman I think if if I were to pass a nugget of knowledge to my son and the one thing I can say to him would be when you've married someone marry somebody for what you need and not what you want very often we get what we want and what we want is not good for us we want someone who's you know buffed and and fun and like to go out and have a good time and then when you get married guess what he's fun and like to go out without you and what you need is someone who's going to be about the business of building your your your income bracket or well for me

my business of putting things to the side to help us retire those are the things I need is that fun not necessarily but that's what I need and I'm married what I need we've been together over 13 years but what about very mature person to be able to sublimate their needs the right their desires but what about what Alvin said what a woman who has a master's degree marry someone who has less and making nine bucks an hour and be happy but say I think that's a generalization what we're saying is that what we bring to the table is who we are is not about what either of them are bringing to the table but what they are inside so if you have a woman with a master's degrees who is a person who was a good character and just love people she'd be more than happy with a person that has a high school degree and and because I dated people that we were not on the same as we called it he was on the other side of the tracks it sounds good but I think he has a point I don't think most women want to marry men that they view or lesser you know people marry

people in the same economic you know same intelligence back it you don't want to marry somebody that's not going to be on your level it could open up another okay I've got to hold dr. Brady I've got to take a break hold on hold on with me hold that thought and for all of our callers hold on we'll be back with more PowerPoint in a moment and welcome back to PowerPoint I'm Carmen Burns we are talking about

mother's day we're joined by the author of this mother's daughter dr. Nelvia Brady and also in our PowerPoint studios Justice Leah Sears the first African -American woman to sit on Georgia Supreme Court and end to go Deborah Johnson CEO of careers in transition and let's finish up with some of our phone calls who've been patiently waiting on the line John and Atlanta good evening hi go ahead I didn't know that relation that love with them in peace is defined by a degree and I guess people have to define what a relationship means to them but I do know a lot of people go into relationships looking for someone to fix something that only they can fix and unfortunately most of those situations I think the numbers prove this to be pre -accurate it doesn't work that way and being single haven't been single for a long time and in meeting ladies and I tried not to generalize

and I think the same holds true for men that pretentiousness that someone referred to earlier if someone is thinking the law in those lines they're not ready for a relationship anyway you have to have a relationship with yourself you have to get to know yourself I I guess I come at this different way you know I I know some real dummies with PhDs and I know some really brilliant people who barely finish high school and I know they have thinkers they're smart people and I just have a real problem with making those kinds of judgments and I guess I'm at a stage in life where relationships are so much more than these accoutrement if you will I I believe that there are a lot of people a lot of men out here who are giving individuals who are honest people

who communicate well who are loving people or kind people who believe in taking care of their woman who don't have a string of letters behind their name and I I really do believe that some of this fluff that we're looking at at form over substance sometimes I'm not saying that you get into a relationship and and you don't have anything in common but I do not believe that that commonality is defined defined by some of the externals that we often put out there to make selection let's go to Cleveland in Atlanta good evening oh okay we don't have it anymore let's go to Yvonne in Houston Yvonne are you with me hello hi good evening go ahead well you know just listen to the conversation and I'm here these men calling and saying well it's so many good men out there and you know for me myself I'm a nurse I can walk out of plain clothing don't track anyone but married men

I can walk out in my nursing uniform you know all types of men are attracted to me and I can't help but to wonder is he looking at me or is he looking at the uniform you know the conversation goes into what do you do and I mean I'm sorry I'm not going to compete with drugs alcohol other women and children I don't have any kids I'm 30 years old I'm a fellow virgin I'm waiting on God you know just to stress me with this no one's perfect but a decent man and I mean I said I don't want a man with kids some guys shine needs but I feel like I'm only being fair to myself to him and the child as well now is this something that you've learned from your mother was this something that she passed on to you well you know I've grown up my mom would always tell us if he doesn't have a job and a car you know really don't look at it you know and for the child thing I'm just not ready to be a mother you know I'm just being honest well good if you're not ready

then you should bring one thank you so much Ivan for your call let's go to Frederick in South Carolina hi Frederick hello hey I just wanted to say happy mother's day to y 'all thank you very much and share a couple of thoughts I have been in graduate school at Clemson for the last two years or so and I'm an older student and I have to leave because I don't have any parents to support me and go back to work for about a year or so and come back and finish and I've been working prior to coming here as a folklorist and my mom was a librarian and she would send me little tidbits of things that she thought would be interesting to a folklorist and I want to share just two little pieces with you they're very short and I'll go away all right in the time oh I do want to say this in the time that I've been here

I've been listening to your show religiously and I know that where I'm moving I'm not going to get South Carolina radio and I'm sure going to miss y 'all well we'll miss you too Frederick go ahead the comment one these are not quite aphoristic but in that vein one is that if patriarchy and matriarchy our views are viewed as opposite extremes I think there's a little bit of a flaw in that my mom sent me a little quote that I can't remember exactly it said that the opposite of patriarchy if there was going to be positive growth in the world was fraternity where everybody's treated equal and another comment that she passed on to me had to do with the history of love in the western world there is by the way a great book by that title it's almost a hundred years old but

this particular view is taking mythology as in the young Ian perspective to give the dreams of the culture are like myths and we have private dreams as individuals and they can all be interpreted in some way or another the whole notion that men and women have evolved to the state that we're at now our greatest challenge might be to try to just see where we are and the myths that would recognize what possible growth is present right staring us in the face is the very thing that y 'all are talking about is what is a marriage possibly and it is nothing more than just trying to recognize that the pattern says that it's sort of okay to divorce and we got to overcome that we just got to stare the work that's got to be done right in the face and just put our best foot forward and try

to make that decision at the very beginning of a relationship to make a better. Absolutely. When you move away you can listen to whyy .org on the internet and catch all the power point your heart desires. Thank you and good luck and we're just about out of time but I need to get a final word on motherhood from each of you very quickly and to go well the final word for me is that you need to embrace your mother and embrace your children they grow so fast my mother keep telling me they're gonna be gone soon and I'm finding that to be true and I just want to say I love my mother dearly thank you for coming tonight and thank my sons for loving me. Dr. I mean I'm sorry justice Sears. I too love my mother on EG and Sears very very much and my my daughter Brennan my son Addison motherhood has been the most important challenge of my entire life but it's one that I wouldn't change for anything else I've enjoyed it and Dr. Brady. I'd like to just ask people in the audience to take a

moment away from the commercialization of mother's day pull your mother aside and tell her the things she said that made you stronger tell her how you felt her love even when you angry with you let her know that you realize raising you wasn't easy and let her know that you understand you're glad that she understood that being a mother meant more than giving birth and if you have issues with your mother step back reflect heal those issues heal those relationships and move forward and I would like to say happy mother's day to Jesse Pearl Schubert Moore who's my mother. All right Dr. Brady thanks so much for being with us Indigo justice Sears thank you thank you very much we'll take a break callers hang with us we're going to continue our conversation with some extraordinary moms and we're back in a moment. Healthcare reporting on Powerpoint is funded by the National Speaking of Women's Health Foundation

educating women to make personal decisions about personal health care and well -being on the web at speakingofwomen'shealth .com. Powerpoint is funded in part by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting and the National Legacy Foundation. This is Powerpoint a production of WCLK FM a broadcast service of Clark Atlanta University. Good evening and welcome to Powerpoint broadcasting live from Atlanta Georgia I'm Carmen Burns listen carefully to the following list of notable women Ida B. Wells madam C .J. Walker Maya Angelou Coretta Scott King Alice Walker and Tina Turner all familiar names all mothers while their personal stories are readily available and often revealed the role of mom has changed throughout the last half century general caregiver has been replaced with

the sole provider how have social political religious and economical circumstances changed the role of motherhood what are the challenges for today's young mothers and particularly African -American mothers it's part two of this mother's day special this is Powerpoint and we're back in a moment. Production and Broadcast of Powerpoint is made possible by a grant from the Corporation for Public Broadcasting and by the National Legacy Foundation a nonprofit organization committed to enhancing preserving and restoring the legacy and history of life in America. This is Powerpoint an information age clearinghouse for news issues and ideas that impact the African American community the nation

and the world. and welcome back to Powerpoint I'm Carmen Burns shocker cons as it all with her 70s smash hit I'm every woman and how appropriate on this edition of Powerpoint as we continue with the second part of this mother's day program it's a night of empowerment and inspiration will focus on the changing role of motherhood for the African -American woman and our guests will offer

their own stories of raising children and even suffering the loss of one joining Powerpoint tonight she started and developed brown sugar mama dot com a website for and about the black mothering experience from Cleveland Ohio Trula Breckenridge and in our Powerpoint studios Sarah English Freddie an entrepreneur who left corporate America for the sweet sensations of cinnabons and the spice of Taco Bell will explain more in just a moment and as always we encourage you to phone in with your questions or comments the Powerpoint hotline number is 1 -800 -360 -799 -1 -800 -360 -01799 good evening ladies and thanks for being with us thank you hi I'm glad to be here I have got to ask you about brown sugar mama dot com please tell me all about that okay it's a website for and about the black mothering experience and I started brown sugar mama because

I saw the need for it in the greater internet community as well as in real life most of the parenting websites that I have come across um while they're not overtly targeting white mothers they seem to do so by default they don't address the issues that we black mothers have and I wanted a website where I could gain tips and information about raising my children that would address the needs that I have as a black mother okay now what specifically do you target in on how do you what do you do give me some examples of some of the sites on there some of the things on brown sugar mama um we do book reviews about you know books that help you with black parenting and things that your children would be interested in music reviews things like that okay now you I was just reading a little bit about your bio says I was born in Cleveland Ohio during a blizzard your parents are still married and met at cased western reserve university yes so you give a little bit of quite a bit about your own background on here yes that's on my personal writer site

okay so do you encourage people to write in with their own questions and comments about motherhood oh yes I do we have a message board um I encourage people to join the message board community so that they can interact with other black mothers and share tips and information about parenting um at this time we don't have a lot of activity on the board but I do get a lot of email from people asking me advice and um give it ask me different questions that they want to know and you really do get personal on here you talk about graduating high school as a mother yes tell us a little bit more about that yeah I was a teenage mother um I get pregnant with my daughter when I was 16 and I had her a month before I graduated come high school I was 17 and um she's 12 now so it's been it's been quite a journey wow and you have how many children I have three children three children now let's talk a little bit to you Sarah about your story I mean you you you you have quite a different story tell us a little bit about yours okay I uh guess around about first of all before we get started I'd love to say hello to the KTSU family in Houston I'm a

native you stony and I was on that advisory board for KTSU for about six years and so to all my family out there and especially my mom and sister happy mother's day oh good uh to tell you a little bit about my company I hit one of those life altering experiences which is either marriage divorce marriage divorce or death and at the age of 40 I was facing divorce at the time I was a money manager working with one of the major brokerage houses and had a very successful career but um having come from a family where both sides both my parents on both sides are still together and I think I was going to be the first divorced person in my family I just kind of felt that sense of failure and decided that I had all these experiences and this knowledge that if I was tired of making other people wealthy and decided that I was going to go out if I was going to get divorced and start all over and 40 if I'm ever going to do it it's now or never I'm young enough if it doesn't

work I can get back into the workforce so having been in the finance industry got together with some client former clients that had managed their money for years and said I had this idea I wanted to put together a business venture and put together a business plan at the time Taco Bell was just now franchising so that was my first business venture three and a half years ago which brought me to Atlanta it was the only market I could get so literally within a matter of I guess I tell this story everybody um November closed my deal December walked in and finalized my divorce it was final on December 31st January 2nd got in the car in Houston Texas went to see our first black mayor sworn in Lee Brown of Houston got in the car from the Worth and Siddler drove to Atlanta with

my son in the car and I haven't been back to Houston but three days since I left three and a half years ago but however keep very close contact on tabs in Houston so I was my first business venture and it was myself and for the male partners and we bought a chain of Taco Bells here then about two years ago kind of got that feeling again and felt like well men weren't doing it right so I was determined I'm gonna go start this all black female company so I still have the ownership in the businesses here and got together with a couple of girls that I knew their backgrounds and their skillsets and if we put our resources together and we formed a company called the LFG Group which stands for the Lord Freddie and Green which are my partners which we uh felt as though you put God first and everything else falls into to play and that's really kind of how it happened and in November we bought the Dallas Fort Worth Texas uh

exclusive market of cinnabons so we owned it exclusively in about to build twelve new stores in the market wow going down the road they were doing very well I wouldn't say that I call it a working program I see but you're also your your son is a working program also that's my greatest gift is my child so how do you balance it all with everything that you have on your plate cinnabons and tacos and and everything else truly with uh my faith first and foremost and I am so fortunate I have a network of my family and my family and a group of girlfriends that are just absolutely awesome we all pitch in and help one another in fact uh my CFO of my company uh I'm the CEO we're both single parents so we balance each other off we found it we it's an opportunity where we can build a corporation multi million dollar corporation and ploy minorities and other women offer them opportunities like ourselves so we balance things off for each

other when I can't go I go uh if I have a business meeting we'll switch off I've got the kids this week she's got them next week so it's just really a true sisterly support system as well as there's a lot of male friends out there that have kicked in and helped as well wonderful 1 -800 -360 -1799 is our number 1 -800 -360 -1799 Mia in Baltimore good evening good evening um I was I was hoping I was going to get through this evening my aunt had just called me from New Jersey to wish me happy mom's day but I want to tell you I just came from visiting with my mom for the day and I was hearing the show this evening which is a great show brought up some very important points um some important testimony that I'm sure that it impacts a lot of women throughout the state and um I really enjoy it I hope that a lot of women that listen they get something from out of it and they always love their mom I really love my mom and my grandmother there are my um

there are my strengths there my everything so um I really uh enjoyed the show and it's it's brought out a very a great deal of important issues that women need to get beyond with their own and also their moms but I want to get the book I want to get the name and I won't hold you this evening um God bless each one every one of the mothers that's present there this with the show tonight and throughout the state well thank you so much Mia for your phone call the book that we talked about in the last hours this mother's daughter by Melvia M Brady and let's go to Bill in Atlanta hi Bill Bill okay Bill's not there Stefan in Baltimore Stefan yes hi go ahead yes well yes uh not like that's interesting program I was once in the book the you teach uh there's the same thing about parenting skills because uh parents do need uh the parenting skills and uh it's speaking of our families uh you know uh throughout history there was a lot of children born out of well like

1920s 30s and 40s and 50s and during that time that a lot of people didn't want to talk about it you know so uh the babies having babies and these single fathers things this not nothing if you look throughout history it's been going on throughout um turn of the century you know I'm saying now we say if we don't learn from the history we have some times of doom to repeat it so what we have to do as a people we have to learn to uh stop the cycle once we stop the cycle we can um uh continue to move forward all right Stefan thanks so much um Trilla do you have any parent what kind of parenting tips do you offer on your website well I offer free advice people write in the email me I'm asking questions about um issues that their kids are going through I'm also publishing a book it's companion book to the site and the title of that is brown sugar mama we can raise our kids and I'm self publishing it at the end of the summer in August 2001 um some of the things I talk about in the book are um teen pregnancy and single

mothering and a lot of the issues that we have as well as parenting skills that I think we need um as a people to address that's affecting our communities and our children the way our children are um being treated in schools and handling education I also talk about the history of black motherhood in America and how it affects our viewpoints of ourselves as women and mothers 1 -800 -360 -1799 1 -800 -360 -1799 we mentioned a little earlier Trilla that you were a mother at what 17 yes what how much of a struggle was that for you it was um about as bad as you can expect it was a struggle um I had a lot of support from my parents the you know I finished high school on time I graduated with my class I started college that very same year um get I was only 17 with a three month old child and I did have a difficult time in college um my daughter's father was physically abusive um I left a relationship and you know my daughter and I we endured extreme poverty

and all the time I was in and out of school and several years you know I was in and off on public assistance and also working full time so we we had a difficult time now what about you you had a you have a second you have many children I have two little boys besides my daughter okay are you a single mother also or no I am married now okay um I've been with my husband since 1996 um we get legally married in 1999 and just recently celebrated our second year anniversary on May 7th wow now that's wonderful now you but you've been able to you've gone through three three relationships yes is that right and and struck gold on the third one yeah yeah that's exactly right so how is the dealing with um you know when you have two children by other other man and it's basically an extended family I mean how how what tell me a little bit about that well basically my children's extended family are my husband's family um my two other you know to use common slang my

two other baby daddies their families are not involved at all with their children and either are their fathers which is a shame I take full responsibility for that in the first hour you know I was listening and a gentleman called up about how women need to take responsibility and that is true you know we do need to any other mothers that you had on the show earlier address this we do need to take responsibility for them in the types of men that we are choosing and if the laying sexual activity so that we can have emotional maturity to be able to pick these men if that's something we have to do would have to encourage our daughters to do then it's just something we're going to have to do because you know at sixteen I was not mentally able to pick a man and he was young too so it wasn't even perhaps he needed more years of emotional development there I have to agree with her there I think that was a very profound statement that she made when she said the emotional stability has to

be achieved first before you can pick the uh have the ability to so say pick the right man how do you ever pick the right one I happen to be in a very fortunate situation in that my ex -husband and I have you know naturally after a divorce or more often than not there some anger and resentment but I can say today I have the most wonderful relationship with my ex -husband and we're both raising our sons together although he's in Houston and I'm here in Atlanta we talk on the phone all the time if there's issues going on we discuss them together and decide together what we're going to do and what kind of how we're going to resolve the problems my son spends most of the summer there so in our I guess it was more we had to look at what's best for our child and the best thing for our child was for us to get along and find a way to parent together because we both realized his parents were married 50 some odd years before he lost his father so we both come from but very strong family backgrounds as well as the strong sense of fate

so really we just had to put those things behind us and put the child first definitely necessary 1 -800 -360 -1799 is our number David in Atlanta good evening hi David I'm a Sarah Freddy son well hi darling how are you good it's called the wish you're a happy mother's day mommy look thank you sweet T. I appreciate that it's very sweet David and I'll see you when mommy gets home okay love you to date don't stay up too late David okay all right all right one eight hundred three six zero seventeen ninety nine is our number let's go to that was a nice surprise sure was oh it was so sweet it was let's go to Don in Philadelphia hi Don hi how are you great go ahead I'm really interested in your call or something she said earlier it truly sounds like she's interested in you know the

family unit and making positive contributions to you know the the people around her and I don't I truly don't mean to be critical but I am concerned with you know the health and the way we as a society do view our bodies and it seems like she has decided to go in the business of fast food and that's very it concerns me that you know it doesn't seem like she's taking that full step in trying to educate the family I just I'm curious as to her feelings on the morality of the fact food in this country and and how that does affect the family and how we are educating our family okay all right okay thank you so much all right Sarah well I guess I have to look I don't know I don't know about morality I don't understand that part of it but for me it's an avenue I look at as an opportunity one as a as a

citizen and then as a a female and then as a minority to have an opportunity to own a business and empower other people to have the same opportunity as myself one of the things that that we do with our company the LFG group is that we encourage our managers and and crew people to move up the ladder to eventually own their own franchise so I see it more I'm not looking at it as the food itself or from I mean I'm always looking at it from a health conscious standpoint what we're serving but I look at again it's a business opportunity a way of making living providing for my family and also helping other people have an opportunity to provide for their families 1 -800 -360 -1799 is our number Alona in Atlanta good evening hi how are you great good I just wanted to commend you all on the show I was on my way in from celebrating Mother's Day has a Mother's Day to the both of you

Alona are you still there I don't know we're having a difficult time with that line Alona okay let's go to Jennifer in Houston hi Jennifer happy Mother's Day thank you go ahead okay I'm on my cellular as well I was catching the show on the way in and my question is to miss for you I just got a chance I saw her in the black enterprise okay and I am God bless I come into some money and I say this I mean that's exactly what I had been speaking on for years but just didn't know the avenues or the correct way of you know investing or how to become associated with someone who could actually you know tell me exactly what I would need to do so at this point after reading the article in black enterprise on me with the center bonds you know what what step do I go from here I'm you know currently in telecommunications which you know I love

you know my career but you know what's going to take me to the next level well the first thing I would suggest is one there's so many websites out here that you can tap into and get the information but one the first thing is to decide what entity you have interest in there's several I mean when you say franchise and it doesn't have to be food you have a situation such as mailbox etc that's a franchise business so it's determining what you have an interest in when I say you could not have told me I'd be in the fast food business but it's really what makes a person successful in any entity is having a passion for it if you're in it just to make money it really in my belief won't happen it's really more about if if it's something that you enjoy something that you have a passion for then the energy that you exude a put forth into it it will emulate into

success for you but the first place to start is really determine what type of franchise business that you would be interested in then from there you'd have to drop a business plan and then from there it's finding the resources financial resources to take you to the next step but in the article it gave you a number where you could reach me through a fc and give me a call there and I'll gladly refer you to some of the same sources that I used oh I do appreciate it thank you 1 -800 -360 -1799 is our number a little motherly advice there from Sarah handing out to Jennifer and I hope I wish you the best of luck Jane in New Jersey good evening uh yes good good evening I'm probably gonna be Jersey yes I want to congratulate all of you on all your success I do agree with the man that called earlier the black men have the hardest of age and anyone but it does make a lot of them troubled and resentful of black women I wanted to say my husband and I we didn't met

I'm 60 we've been married over 41 years we've had a successful life I finished my degree later I guess two years after we were married he'd finished high school we've traveled to 25 countries we've had two successful children one lawyer graduated from law school and went for pharmaceutical sales that and so we've had had a good life that we did work and struggle together so it can happen and then he's very hearing except one thing he's a little cheap so anyway we're on our way coming back to his vacation now but I just happened to hear this program I'm on myself but I congratulate all you success there and I do have empathy for black men but I think it isn't for closing at the fall it's because they're fighting in all fronts and I was troubled by winter a funeral last week of a relative

and I was a relative he has a daughter and he has enough financial assets that he would like to give her you could be allowed to give each a child $2 ,000 each year that helped him tax life also and the black husband rescinds this and I don't think this happens to me at the culture but why would he resent his wife having independent money I mean he has a good job but this is some of the troubling things that end up happening in a culture where a black husband wouldn't want his wife to have independent wealth and so I do think that's a problem if anyone calling in could explain that okay Jane happy mother's day to you same here and thanks so much that your program never heard this before that we're in the highway well I think you can pick it up in New Jersey as well so good luck to you and thank you so much for your call congratulations on the longevity of your marriage right right yeah congratulations yeah good bye bye okay I would like to find out if I know mothers we're talking about mothers and how important they are in our lives what kind

of help and insight did your mother or grandmother offer to you again as I said I have I come from a very strong female support system my mom my grandmother my great aunts I'm the oldest of three girls so my poor dad was surrounded by women however but he was just as supportive and very involved in our lives I just recall we listening to the show earlier your guests that you had on earlier and they were talking about some of the things the mamalese that they've gotten I just remember I guess what's pushed me through my life has been my mother set us down as young kids and I remember all she ever wished for her daughters with three things she wanted us to have a college education to be able to support ourselves she wanted us to have a happy marriage like she did and to have children and and I can say I've been blessed to experience all of those two out of three not bad hopefully that third one still will come along maybe that charm will be the second time around

but I just look back on you know she really wanted us to have what she had which was a family life and growing up I wasn't the one I guess I've always kind of had that business mind I never grew up thinking I'd get married and have children that really was never in my plan I didn't go to school to say find the husband get married and go off and have the white picket fence it really just kind of happened for me and as I can say when I look back over my 40 plus years of life that truly my son has been just the greatest gift that he's my driving force he's a people and I say he's my best friend I am still the mom date if you are listening but he's kind of like my right hand man but again just it all it stimulates from other support that I had from my parents it wasn't anything that my sisters and I wanted to do I mean and we didn't we weren't born with silver spoons in our mouths but I

had parents who got out and worked towards if there was something that we wanted to do and put our minds do it they would make it available to us truly we'll get back with you in just a moment because I definitely want to hear the inspiration in your life our number is 1 -800 -360 -1799 there's more PowerPoint in a moment PowerPoint is funded in part by PowerPoint's affiliate station consortium KTSU FM in Houston WRVS FM in Elizabeth City North Carolina Atlantis WRFGFM WAAFM in Baltimore WJSUFM in Jackson Mississippi and KPVU FM serving prayer review Texas PowerPoint's affiliate station consortium committed to the continuation of quality public radio programming and welcome back to a very special

edition of PowerPoint it's Mother's Day and that's exactly what we're talking about it's a very special evening a night of empowerment and inspiration we are joined by Sarah English Freddie an entrepreneur who left corporate America for a wonderful world of fast food that has been quite successful for but she's but above all else she is the mother of a 10 -year -old David who just called in a little while ago to wish his mom a happy mother's day and we're also joined by Trula Breckenridge from Cleveland Ohio who started and developed brownsugarmama .com a website for and about the black mothering experience and we always welcome your phone calls our numbers 1 -800 -360 -1799 -180 -360 -1799 before the break we were talking about the inspiration from your own mothers and grandmothers and Trula go ahead well the most profound inspiration that I have had besides my mother was

my mother's mother my grandmother her name is Gladys Avery and she passed away when I was 12 but she has had the most profound impact on my life she was a librarian in a very small town of Bethel North Carolina and she gave me my love for books my love for learning she taught me to respect the written word and to respect the English language and she taught me to appreciate the power that language had and how it in you know could impact your life my mother has been a very profound has had that type of impact on my life as well the best thing she gave me was a sense of black pride really she did she when I was a child I wasn't allowed to straighten my hair and things like that you know and growing up in the late 70s and the early 80s you know it wasn't cool to do that and I was the only kid that had natural hair and but as an adult when I grew up I don't have a lot of hair issues that a lot of black women have I don't have a lot of issues about being dark skinned a lot of people have because my parents and still that you know having that sense of black pride in

me and I'm and we need that you know especially as mothers we need that bolstering of self -esteem you know I can remember being a single mother of two and walking down the street with my kids my two kids and saying people you know white people and even other black people looking at me either cars you know and shaking their heads I would wonder what on earth am I doing you know I'm just walking down the street with my two kids carrying my groceries and it took a while for me to realize that people assumed that I was pitiful and trifling only because I was a young black mother you know and it took a while for that to sink in and to understand how race and gender impacts how women are viewed and how mothers are viewed and that said that black women you know have to go through that but my mother instilling that sense of black pride in me and my grandmother instilling a love of language and education and learning in me that has just helped me in good state all these years 1 -800 -360 -1799 is our number 1 -800 -360 -1799 Sarah you know that leans to the Oakley Shay that you must read the book you know instead

of just instead of just looking at the cover you got to read the book you got to know what's out what's inside perception sometimes is so deceiving that you got to get to know the person get into into their inner self and inner being certainly let's go to Heather in Baltimore hi Heather hi go ahead hello hello go ahead yes I have been listening to so many different comments about how different females were influenced by their mother personally my mother influenced me with a lot of perseverance strength and she gave me a sense of independence and to never give up I'm a student right now and I'm down to the last few courses of my bachelor's but really to make this very short I really just call to give these few words of inspiration to all the mothers out there okay

it's the point that's called love the milk of humankindness and I would like to re -verify it could get a chance okay is how long is it it is not very long okay go ahead it says a cup of coffee two Tylenol a break off of two blocks of the darkest riches finest chocolate bar you could ever imagine filled with delightful golden almond nuts that capture my pleasure senses and comfort my weary spirit right down to my soul I am for the moment content I feel a peace I experience harmony I experience kindness I have God's love just right here and now life is kind life is soft life is at ease I am holding on to faith I am learning to trust God is helping me

God is gently guiding me he is protecting me in spite of me and so he provides for me he searches for my faith every morning and delights in my smile when he sees it I feel joy because of him at the end of the day when his son said hits the sky and paints my evening gold and orange red I quietly settle into his created serenity for I know he will search for me once again he will want to know that I am secure and I will retire for the night into the comfort of his bosom knowing that the eve of his dawn awaits me in the morning I am quietly awakened by the picture perfect view of his magnificent sunrise and your blessings to greet me O Lord shower and welcome me with your anointing and divine spirit and your

wonderful and everlasting love Heather thank you so very much for that call 1 -800 -360 -1799 is our number Emica in Philadelphia good evening is this miss ready or somebody there I was also troubled by the the issue of the morality and the ethics of motherhood and fast food business I'm troubled by that is it fast money dollars or is it mother now no wait a minute okay now why are you troubled by that because if you want to be a mut the mother in aspect and the whole idea of fast food restaurants God knows that you know that comment and fast food restaurants are now designed out there to feed kids I mean they all they do is poison kids they're not good health materials well yeah there's that ethical issue there that she needs to discuss I'm not sure that I see the parallel there because a lot of times you know as as mothers yeah we want we don't I mean all of our children are sustained by fast food that would not like they eat it every day breakfast lunch dinner I

know I'm saying if you I don't know I mean being a father of myself I know that taking kids to fast food restaurants is obviously an inclination in this country that actually makes kids to begin to get used to eat in poison and God knows that you know that especially African -American kids so how to be in a business that obviously there's money there's a lot of economics here let me make this comment let me let Sarah get it hold on let me make this comment well first of all my primary business is cinnabons which we serve it's a dessert and this is definitely not something most people eat on an everyday basis anyway this is a delight type of food so it's really not food we serve one thing cinnabons are either with pecans are the classic ones so again my primary business of our company the LFG group is we serve a dessert and it's just one so it's something that I wouldn't recommend most people would eat anyway on a regular day

on a everyday basis but it's a delight it's a sweet and it's a wonderful business a wonderful company to be involved with and I'm very very pleased with our venture but again I don't see the the parallel or the correlation between the two I just maybe not understanding the question nor am I trying to avoid it I'd love to answer if I could understand the question again I just don't see how the two go together I know okay well we'll we'll move on one eight hundred three six zero seventeen ninety nine is our number let's go to La Roy in Atlanta hi La Roy hey good evening good evening go ahead hello can you give me yes which we hear you I'm on my cell phone how y 'all doing this evening first of all happy mother's day to both of you all and thank you as far as the your businesses you're trying to do I appreciate it whatever you think is necessary and you can make you some money more power to your sister and that's all we need for a successful black system I'm in the process of um my first evening

this this year with with the girlfriend of man she's going to a divorce and my brother's going to divorce and this my first year without my grandmother I didn't have the chance to go home this year so I did in my mother a gift home and um because I drive limos at night so I had a couple of problems as we can't I was unable to go home but um I want to stress the fact of love and family and I'm I want to I'm trying to process a billing a business call it teaching etiquette for young black missles pair of mothers and I think it's a really good I have a thirst for it and it's not just the money his money has nothing to do with it I think it needs to be a difference out here the man got to set a role model and um I I drive a lot of fortunate wealthy white kids to proms and the executives and they parents home and I went to home the day was just outstanding and I had to ask the gentleman who's the builder and the builder was of course a white organization who don't even build in this area not he don't even build in this area the type of home that I saw was just unbelievable and it kind of put us setting on my mind my mom and dad have been together 30 years and my daddy's mom

and dad have worked both worked very hard my grandmother when I was very young and came back in 11 years later when I was in high school her grandmother was raised on the sixth grade education she did that in 91 years old but um it sounds like your your mother and your grandmother and everyone has been a strong influence in your life oh man they are sick they are the bomb they are especially my mom is reads a lot knows she said you hadn't gotten married yet you have no kids you are blessed and I said mom you know what I just want to straighten my credit out and be good to a woman that's all I want to do do the right thing and you know I'm going I'm I have a real good girl friend she's going through the bulls and I'm helping her through the bulls kids one child and they got joint custody and she gets the one week he gets the one week so she's going through a lot of that plus she's a good girl herself you know and um I come from a strong fam she comes from a strong fam we both come from from the same hometown with the Savannah Georgia and god I saw the medic girl from home um well it sounds like you're doing very well oh yeah yeah but I want to tell y 'all keep up the good work and we just um

we we good brothers I just look forward to meet women like they're even just have a friend well good take care good night that brings to mind I yeah just thinking back to some of the things that my mom used to tell me one of her favorite sayings was well you know Sarah nothing beats a failure but a try you can't give up and that's truly something I believe in you get just keep trying you try and there's this song out I'm sure she's a popular artist now a Jill Scott and she has a song on there and it's kind of I think they call it the hidden track or whatever but it talks about just keep trying and the words are just over and over and over again but it makes so much sense to me it's just you keep on trying and you try again and you try again and guess what you try one more time after that so if you have faith and belief in yourself you know which is really what it's all about what our mothers have done is instilled faith and belief in ourselves yeah and when you believe in yourself and you believe in God um the other day my partner said to me she said you know Sarah said you know Rhonda we pulled this thing off and in

in less than a year literally we found out about Cinnabon last year Memorial weekend by November we were closing on our business opportunity and I looked at her in a meeting this past week I said you know Rhonda can you believe it we're really here she said I don't know why you keep saying it honey we put the Lord first this is already ordained this is that she said we actually stepped out here on faith and when we stepped out on faith when it got tough when it got hard it was God catching us and when he didn't catch us guess what he taught us out of fly and that was one of the most profound things that she said to me this week coming into that you know truly it's all about faith and that faith where does that come from from home where did it come from in my family my mother and my father true love oh yes I definitely have to agree with that um I started out you know in August of last year and things have moved so fast it's you know it's unbelievable and I did I stepped out on you know having faith and belief in myself and you know not I'm going

to become an internet you know millionaire overnight or anything like that and a point of my company was not to become a internet millionaire but to reach out to other people and other black women and to help them with the things all the things that we black mothers have to face I did want to say something real quick about the caller the woman that caught him with the poem um on brown sugar mama dot com we also published inspirational poetry articles and essays about raising black children by established writers as well as new and emerging writers so you know if you're still listening you know visit the website um you can call the station and get the mailing address you can mail your poem to us too if you're not on the web um and we'll take a look at it and we'll like it we'll put it on the site and you know I thought that was an outstanding poem and something we could publish on the site okay and we pay twenty five dollars per you know accept it all permission and the content on the site that's free for years and the other thing about what I'm doing for a living today it allows me to be a

mom it's hard work I tell anybody you don't understand leaving corporate America to work for yourself the hours you put in far exceed what you could ever do in corporate America it never really stopped but the greatest gift that I get for me especially having relocated I have a sister here who has been absolutely wonderful and uh it in pitching in and we help each other out um is that I get to get up in the morning and see my son catch that bus yeah and then I'm home most evenings when he gets home that's just I just get tickled pink that I'm able to do that so it does allow me to be a mom I get to have a more flexible schedule there's times there's things that sometimes I can't make it to but overall I really get to be a part of his life whereas in corporate America it was straight nine eight to five if there was a business meeting you had to go to you had to schedule vacation I can't say I probably haven't had a vacation in over a year and a half or even longer than that

but I still get the joy of being a mom and that's just for me just it's priceless so it's not about the money again because I've had heard those comment again to be successful at anything it's really about the inner passion if you do it with those things first the rest will come 1 -800 -360 -1799 is our number Ilja and Atlanta good evening how are you great go ahead well first of all happy mothers mothers day for all of you thank you and I just going to I will listen to your show quite a long already maybe two or three months of course relatively long I'm not African American I am a little winyan American okay so I represent a little winyan community in Atlanta so minority doves and right now I'm actually I'm single father how many children oh one

she's eight years old and she's really sweet and she's according to her nature is leader so she she's good in school stirring for excellence and of course it's pleasure for me as for father I'm sure and just of course my wife now is out of stage she she's about to graduate but this year I was alone with daughter and I started to understand single mothers after that so just could you tell me how to combine your career interests your business interests and to be apparent I can't solve it normally because a there is is it career or is it to be with my daughter and so you're trying to

are you trying to combine them both is that what you're is that your struggle yes okay uh I am a professional musician and uh no you know I have I have some gigs what does it call yes they're called gigs okay Julia hold on with me for a second and we'll get to your question right after our break you're listening to PowerPoint oh And welcome back to PowerPoint. I'm Carmen

Burns. We're talking about Mother's Day, joining us tonight, Sarah English Freddy, an entrepreneur who is balancing the busy world of being an entrepreneur with motherhood, and also Trula Breckenridge, the creator of BrownSugarMama .com. And our number is 1 -800 -360 -1799, 1 -800 -360 -1799. We're talking with Ilya, who is a single father of an eight -year -old, and he's questioning how to balance career and parenthood when you are a professional musician and you work a lot at night, then I will take it. Yeah, most likely, of course, late after non -time. Okay, all right. Sarah, you were saying that you were trying about the best advice that I could give you is the first thing you've got to do is find a support system, just people like yourself, same ideologies, because this is someone you're going to be leaving your child with. But you've got to find a group of people that you've networked with that will allow you to do certain

things while they watch your child for you. But again, it's basically the first step I would say is find a support system. You can do that either through your church, through the community service organizations within your neighborhood, your neighbors, maybe may have some other family members here. But again, if you don't have family, I would say that one of the best places to start is in your church. Well, my church is not very sad from the place I live. I'm sorry, your church is not as far. My church is about 40 minutes to drive. Oh, okay. But again, they may be able to make references to you, to make referrals to you. Again, people, I'm sure that they're spread out all over the metropolitan area that you never know, just ask your church you never know where to come from. But I would still say my suggestion would be if you don't have family or neighbors or friends to start with your church, you never know who they might know. All right, Ilia. Good luck to you. Thanks so much for your call.

Katrina in Atlanta. Good evening. Hello, can you hear me? Yes, Katrina. Go ahead. Okay. I was just calling. I'm an Associate of Fair Friday and I just wanted to call and wish her congratulations once again and just tell you all she's the most wonderful grounded special person strong that you'd ever meet. I just commend you. Oh, hi. I commend you. Thank you. She's awesome. She is so awesome and strong and so encouraging. And for the young lady, as you know Sarah, I was telling you about the shop that I'm opening. The young lady that called, I'm also in telecommunications. This is so funny, but just know that the money that you got is going to be gone. Am I right? You've got to be gone. You've got to be hungry for it. Whatever it is that you're going to do when she contacts you. Just let her know to be strong and stick in there no matter what it is. For the young man that just got off the phone, I just wanted to get some encouragement to him. I

was raised by a single father who worked postal service at night and just, you got to work so you can't really do anything about that. You have to work. You have to support your home, but just love her all you can during the day. Love her all you can and encourage her to tell her about the real world spend as much time as you can with her and just feed into her and she'll come out like a Sarah Fred. Well, congratulations to you, Katrina. You keep going. I know you're going to do it. You know, I have faith in you. Oh, I got the faith. You ain't got the faith in me. I got the right. Okay, see me through. I'd love for it to see you in a couple of weeks. Okay, take care, sweetie. Bye -bye. Let's go to Catherine in Houston. Hi, Catherine. I'll give you the feeling. I like to say happy mother's days to everyone. And thank you. This question is for Sarah.

I am a 48 -year -old black female that injured my back in 1992 as an LVN here in Houston, Texas. And I also had a very strong background with my grandmother and my mother. My grandmother inspired me to always believe in yourself and believe in God. And as long as you have the faith, your faith would take you anywhere. And I had gone into the hospital here in Houston and I'll be honest with you all. I just picked a hole in my spine car. And I was bedridden for 72 days and nights. And I just asked the mountain to move one morning and the mountain to move and the whole clothes in my spinal cord. And then I said, well, you know, my grandmother was really, really a great woman. She died in 1998 at 95 years old. And she never attended school. But she had this book after she expired. I found

this book inside of our house. And it was some type of book that it doesn't really have an author to it. And I read the book and the book showed me where my grandmother taught herself how to read and how to write. And when she expired, she was like on a 12th grade level. And then I looked at the book and I thought about my grandmother not having any education being anchored into Christ Jesus. Well, it sounds like Catherine, like she was a great inspiration to you. Yes, you are. And I'm going to have to let it go with that. I do appreciate your phone call because we are running very, very short on time. And I want to get to Sarah and Trula to find out if you have any regrets or anything that you wish that you could have changed that made a difference in your life. I, from my perspective, I wouldn't be who I am had it not been for those experiences. So I believe whatever was put in front of me to deal with was there to help build my character, to build who I

am. So to say, is there anything that I would change? No, not really. No, really. Because it really, again, the only thing I said made me who I am today and made me stronger. You got to have obstacles, certainly. Trula? Well, there are circumstances that I wish I could have changed. But as far as my being a young mother, I definitely don't regret being a teen mother and having my children at a young age because they are my children. You know, you don't regret your children. They are lovely children. I do wish the circumstances like my family support and social support were different. That I had more social support to help me during my difficult times instead of being ostracized for being a teen mother. Let's, I think I do have time for one more phone call. Let's go to Rob in Atlanta. Hi Rob, you've been patiently waiting. Hi, how's everyone? Great, go ahead. Happy Mother's Day. Just wanted to say something that has dropped off real quick. The strongest thing or the

strongest part of my life has always been my mother. And she's listening right now. She didn't think I'd be able to get through, but I said I would. And she said, are you calling on yourself phone? I said, yeah, I said, but I got 3 ,000 weekend minutes. So, you know what? Now. Thanks for trying. Yeah, and I just wanted her. I called her. I said, I'm going to get on the radio tonight. So, you're going to have to listen. I just wanted to let her know. Happy Mother's Day. I love her to death. I played professional football for several years. And I used to play in NFL Europe. And there was about five seasons. I said, Mom, I'm going to give it up because I'm taking hits. And I'm too young to be crippled. And I'm not getting paid a lot. And you know how you just believe more when your mother believes in you. You believed in me. And I made an NFL about two seasons ago. And I'm probably going to call it quick still after part of another season. But I just wanted to say, you know, I just wanted to say thank you. I love you so much. And just for the other cat who was talking about the center buns, I'm six foot forward 270 pounds

number muscle. And I love center. All right, Rob. Thanks a lot. And you're just fine. Justin, thank you so much for your phone call. And that's a very positive note to end in a lot. I appreciate that. Sarah English, Freddie, thank you so very much. Thank you, Carmen. I've thoroughly enjoyed myself. Trula Brackenrich, thanks for being with us. BrownSugarMama .com is the webpage. Thank you, Carmen. I appreciate being here. Thank you and happy mother's day to both of you. And you're listening to PowerPoint. This is PowerPoint, a production of WCLK FM, a broadcast service of Clark Atlanta University.