Six American Families; 102; Greenbergs

KING Presentation of the following program was made possible by a grant from the Travelers Insurance Companies. I'd like to have the family together and yet it doesn't seem to be a reality. I mean, the two components don't seem to be working together or carrying about the kids is not enough to put us together and it doesn't seem that there's much effort put into the marriage or trying for the marriage to work. My dad was the one who did all of it with my mom, but my mom still

was my dad. We can't get back together as a family because Jackie and I are in different places. The thing that we had built between us, disappeared. It was either have it disappear or each of us would destroy ourselves. That third thing we built up, I referred to as our relationship, just totally disintegrated. And in the process of its disintegration, it was destroying each of us. There wasn't much of a choice. I had to leave. Michael's 12, going on 13 in June. I think that no matter what the problems were at home, if we were Ernie and I were together, Michael would be going through the same thing. Michael is one foot in childhood and one in young manhood. Marie is going to be nine in January. She knows who she isn't always has and she knows how to get her needs fulfilled.

If she's feeling a little sad, she'll come up and say I want to be hugged. I want some loving. I need your attention now. And it's very, very easy to fulfill her needs. As a family unit, our neutral, Jackie's concern and my concern is the welfare of those kids. I want some loving. I want some loving. I want some loving.

I want some loving. I want some loving. I want some loving. This is Mill Valley, California, just across the Golden Gate Bridge from San Francisco. It's a small town, not really a suburb, it's lush and it's private. I'm Paul Wilkes. We spent the past year filming the day-to-day lives of six very different families in different parts of our country. And we bring the film back to them, show it to them and invite their comments on it.

And those comments become part of the program you're about to see. One of the films in our series is on the Greenbergs here in Mill Valley. And we're about to show it to them. I want some loving. I want some loving. I want some loving. The first year, I spent one whole year sitting around feeling sorry for myself, feeling filled with failure. I was not moving at all, hoping that Ernie and I could get back together so I didn't have to get on with my life as a separate person.

Then I just couldn't move. And I got reassurance from people I really respected. And they said, take your time. Living alone has got some benefits and it's got a lot of detriment. Chief benefit is freedom to do what you want and how you want. How I want to decorate the halls and the walls of the time I want to come home. What I want to do and what I want to do it with. But it has this kind of comfort of being lonely. And you paid our price. When we first moved to Mill Valley, I had fantasized the kind of house I was going to live in. So we went around looking and we found this house.

$33,000, 13 years ago. Which was a lot of money then, but it's not a lot of money now. So this house is a particularly significant meaning because my children were born here. My marriage started here. It will be very sad to leave. And I guess I have to get on with it. So I know that I have three years to get it together and go on. I don't know where I'll go on to, but there'll be a place to go on to. It'll present itself. I'm sure if somebody said that they needed a decorator Ernie would recommend me. Because if someone says they need a lawyer, I would recommend him. Since I've been very aware that I really must get my career back in order. Into the business, the kind of business I had in Chicago for the first four years. I was out of school. I'm putting together some old pictures. And I'm taking some pictures of some recent jobs I've done to get a portfolio together.

So that when somebody wants to see the kind of work I do, I have some kind of representation of it. As long as we have enough and it's really a nice job. Have you been doing this long? A couple of years. Hello, how are you? Okay, you're cutting my material already. Let's do it as loose cushion or loose cushion, okay? Campaign desk and a desk vanity. Are they available in natural wicker? I like things to be in balance. I'm learning that that's a connection with me, my being. When I'm out of balance, I'm out of sync and I'm not working right. I like a room to sit right. And it doesn't mean what kind of furniture you're going to buy. It means that there's certain elements that balance off. They could be asymmetrical, but they must balance.

I don't know why I can't have that. No, you're all here together. I'm so ninja here. Happy Thanksgiving. We know all these little people. This is Linda. I know you. The furniture, the floor and the desk. This is Grandma. You all met together. We had our play done. I know they're taking all the pictures. Hello. Hello. You know the dashes. You know everybody. Everybody. Yes, ma'am. Look at that turkey. First. How does? Oh, you're kidding me, daddy. You're kidding me. That means I got to take everything. I only have one oven. It's not done. Uh-huh.

Well, typical Thanksgiving. It took me six months to kind of get into the social swing again. And so I started doing that. I started having continual parties. And having friends to dinner. I would hear it kind of does a little pot lot. People are always asking to bring things. And used to be a time where I had to do it all myself because I had to have all the glory for it. And now I let anybody bring whatever they want and help share the expenses. And help bring, be part of the party. Thank you, sir. You Michael Kelly, kindly got me. Marie Lisa Fufu Beaver. It's Michael The Great Beaver. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello, Molly. Sh에서도! Hi. Come on down to the food and Michael. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hello. Hi.

anybody doing stopping? Where are you doing stopping? Where are you're doing stopping? We're doing stopping in my case. Where are you going doing stopping? I'm fine. You're fine. We're doing stopping. I'm busy. That's all right. Show lots of stuff. And they were discussing all the specifications of what the future would be like. But one of the most interesting aspects of it was that when people were celebrating their 10th anniversary, it was celebrating in the future like we celebrated 50th anniversary today. I was wondering if it was telling me that for any soulless or wanting me to feel very happy that you made it for 13 years, right? So you made it for me? You had 12 and a half, 13, kind of. It must be a measure. I think 10 is... I went through 9. Did you make 9? You're still married? Yeah, buddy. I mean, people lived together without getting married today. Why can't people live apart while being married? Is that what you're talking about? Well, when my wife and I first separated, the children lived with me for a year. I have three.

I was just in the midst of changing jobs then. In fact, at one point, my wife and I broke up. I had three children. I didn't have a house, and I didn't have a job. But one thing after another got resolved in the course of looking for a childcare center for the younger children, I found a job. Things worked out fairly well from that point of view. I could go to work. My older son would be at school and then with neighbors or friends. And the younger children would be taking care of it until I got back. And in the evenings, I could put my energy into them. How much energy did you have left after a whole day of putting it out there in the business world? How would you rate the quality of attention that you could give those children? A lot of stuff has to go into making that home, a quality place. I'm not talking about an hour of just interaction. I'm talking about the quality of the life that goes on in the other way. But we all come together and laugh and give very little attention to the fact that all of our relationships are falling apart. We all take that as a little minor aside that we might sit in the room with eight people and six might be able to talk intimately about their failure.

But interversal relationship is well. That we're all capable of doing a lot more than we do. You ask the question, how can you come home after a day at work and still have energy to do this and that? I think after 22 months of our separation, my parents have gotten it. They've been very accepting of what the situation is. In the beginning, it took them over a year to even tell anybody that we were getting divorced. I think they take it as a personal failure, but that's what I think. I'm not quite sure. We haven't really discussed it. The people that we have at the table when they're included would be, this is typical. There'd be people with children usually for a family kind of thing. I think they enjoy it. I think they're enjoying this whole new exposure to another part of the world. They're feeling good that they've been married for 44 years and they're feeling good about that.

But I think they enjoy being at these gatherings and hearing new ideas. Part of me wanted to invite Ernie tonight. If Ernie had stopped off and said hello to me, I wanted Ernie to come so that Ernie would have a place to stay. I had a very dual feeling about this. But the other part of the conference. The part of the conference? No. No, not necessarily. That would be a nice thing to do. If somebody was walking down the street and they had no place to go, I would have said to them, come in and have a look. That manifested itself on a building. But then on the other side of the corner was a feeling that he didn't want to be here because of me. He just wanted to be part of the party and that part kept me from asking him. He keeps on talking about the family.

You know, I'm part of a family, but he's not. He's got children and those three are a family and the children and myself are a family. But he's not my husband anymore and he wants to be part of the good, but he doesn't want to part taken in the rest of it. And I feel there's a part of him that doesn't acknowledge me as the person. If he said, I want to be here to be with you, then by... He would have been here. But he wanted to be here because there's a party going on. That part bothered me. Here comes my dad. Michael, dad, cheer. Hi, dad. Sit down. Can you come up? Okay, don't make it up now. What? What happened, Harry?

We finished the pack of hearts. Don't come so late. It's the stuff that controls the chlorine. We did everything. Hi, dad. The both of us pulling and trying to keep it together for the kids, keeping ourselves together, showing them we love them. I do understand where he's coming from. I mean, I can stand back when I get emotionally unattached to it. I can stand back and watch him and see that he does care. And he wants to get his point across. He wants to show his love and caring for the children. He is alone most of us week. I tried to reverse the situation that he was living with the kids. And I was the visitor that came in and did nice things with him. I know where he's coming from. It's difficult. It's difficult to be that other parent. It's just difficult.

And I have a reaction to it. I have a reaction of the kids in the middle of it. Where's the love? He goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes. How? Put these in so you can absolutely drink. Where am I going to drink? I miss not being with them on a regular basis. That's something that's incurable until maybe the kids grow older. And they decide that the, either Michael, Mike, or me, Murray, Mike, when she gets much older, decides like she'd like to reside with me for a while. That would be cool. It was cool with Jackie. I think it would have come on. And I'd really be prepared for that. I think I'd like that very much. But that's going to be up to the children. It's going to be up to all of us. I think you're one arm. That's all there is. I bet there's two more. Three to one, there's two more.

Two to one. Two to one. Two to one. Who's going to help me make the spaghetti sauce? I will. You want to help? Okay. I'll tell you why we're going to really attack something here. Bye. Here's with me. Okay. Got that? That's wonderful. I never saw it. How much do we need? One, two, three. Dad, can I watch some TV? Yeah, we're going to put some stew tomatoes in it. But at the time, I get through putting the ribs in it. I'm not going to eat it. Mm-hmm. That's very good. I'm eating a round chop. Yeah, I know. But you're going to need this to get it, too. What? I'm not going to get that. Who do you take in the UCLA, USC game? I'll take USC. I'll give you UCLA in six points. Come on. I'll give you six points. No, no, no. I'm not going to lose against USC. Come on, Tiger. Give me eight points. UCLA. A dollar?

No. Okay. Okay, a dollar. You give me two to one odds. No two to one odds. I'm giving you seven points. So what? I know you see it. USC will win. You don't know USC will win. You'll hope USC will win. You're going to take advantage of a young son. Yeah. But I was not supposed to do that, you know. They aren't. You're not sure anything? Yes, I'm not sure. You're not supposed to take advantage of me. You're supposed to give me the choice. Okay. What do you want? I'll take USC and eight points. No. I'll give you six points and two to one odds. Okay. Even better. Even better. Seven points. You take UCLA. Right? Is that a deal? Yes or no? You can kick me. A dollar? A dollar. UCLA. Seven points. I get ties. You get ties. Done? Okay. You hear it?

What is it? You have any, um, pickles? Yeah, you want dull pickles or sweet pickles? Of course you pick them. There you go. I'll split them with you. Yeah, I can have it once. I'm not going to start with that then. You're going to like the sauce. This is really a creation. You want to try spaghetti? I will. No. Please? No. I made spaghetti for you. The shops are good. Do you like them? Mm-hmm. How are they, Mark? Delicious. Delicious? I bet. Mm-hmm. Do you like them? Mm-hmm. Really good? Mm-hmm. Don't call anybody. It's time of night, Mari. I call my mom to say good night. You can't call.

You maybe your mommy's a bad. Good night. You can't do that. Go and sleep in the back. You're going to sleep in the back. I promise. Cubby. You think that's funny? No. I don't. Cut it out. Cut it out. No, you're going to make me. If you want to keep warm, put some hot water in the top. Right. Sleep well. Okay. I'll sleep here. See if that's all right. Is that butter? Yeah. That's mushroom. Let me cover. I've never slept in a bathroom before. Well, I'll tell you the truth. I never have either. Hello. Everybody to their own taste. Whatever turns you out, kid. Good night. I don't even care. Huh?

It's okay, Dad. You wasted enough time before everything is so bad, Mom. Oh, okay, Michael. I think I hear you. You? Yes. Hi, Mom. Where are you? To? What? You want to go to sleep? I don't know. No privacy of a couple hours. Not tired. I want to make you better. You're sleeping 10 minutes. Hmm? Dar. No. Three cents. No, one nickel. And nickel? Okay. Is it black? Yeah. Okay. 10 minutes. Three cents, please. Uh-huh. Sure thing. You got some coke, some beer? Yeah. You can find a place that's open. Go, go, go. Ready? Move it. Move it. I'll show you. Oh. To see the ball game. The ball game. I'll be shot. Oh, Mari. No. Just shot up. You're going to make me.

I'm going to hit it. Oh, come on, you guys. Cut it out. You give me a headache. Oh, boy. Okay. Well, the weekend father sometimes is nothing more than the banker, the entertainer, or the funny man, the clown, somebody to amuse him. You remember them? And those roles get very tiring because they're unnatural. It should feel natural just to be comfortable in each other's company. Doing nothing. Okay. And all the way you'd like to see me be. Heart of me was delighted that the children were out of the house, and they were with their father and that was cool. And another part of me felt alone. They were off having fun, and I was here doing this.

I keep on having mixed emotions, but today I woke up, and I was a little depressed. The last couple of times that I was coming and I'm nothing bothered me. I'm depressed that he placed it into the room. There's no reaction. I could feel all the reactions again. Yeah. Well, it's just intended as a toning up thing to get your energies, get your feelings to be balanced out. Because, you know, with your diet, emotions, all these different things pulling that jump. We've done psychiatry. We've done family counseling. We've done Gestalt therapy. We've done Esselin. Oh, we both started doing TM two years ago, Transcendental Meditation. I did ask it was an experience. I do yoga. I'm into energy levels. I'm into energy flows. I mean, there wasn't anything that came around

that we didn't partake in. No way. No way for me to be... Okay, we need to figure it out. If the boys want it, you know, if they go and make me go wrong, and that we can't afford to be in Arizona more than seven days. Any way. Four days of travel. All right, then that gives us more variety. Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. That's 10 days. Six days in Arizona is all we get afforded. Right. So we leave the day after Christmas. It's still cool. Let's leave earlier then. Let's forget about Christmas. It might be more fun if we can get this thing and it works out reasonably for us. Forget about the boys. We want one room, two double beds,

and... What about a kitchenette? If they have a kitchenette? I don't think they do. Would they mind if we brought in a half-page of it? I don't think so. I think they would. Okay, they won't bring it in. Would you like me to talk? I better keep quiet, right? Yeah, I'll tell you what. I don't know about these things. I know. I mean, I've never cooked in a room. Never asked. We used to bring orange juice. Never asked. I already had any orange juice. The moment we woke up, so we used to bring orange juice in a plastic bottle with ice, and it'd sit there all night, so it'd be nice to cook. We hope you have. One room with two double beds. Town, and a few village. It's great. Well, we have to eat, too. I'll bring bags of nuts, and cheese, and California. They have stores there. 9-4-9-4-1. They have a safe way. I'm sure they have 4-1. Oh, that's wonderful. Oh, it's got still fresh. Yeah. There are two in Scottsdale. One's at Fashion Square, and one's at Scottsdale Mall,

and I booked the one at Scottsdale Mall, because that's the one that has the tennis. Oh, wonderful. That's where we need malls. Okay. Mom, did you get that, uh, a Hanukkah dresses? Yeah. For me, too. For me, too, well. For all of us. A little, huh? I'm at the show. And this is for me. The plan's here for me. Should I write it here? Marie? Where's Marie? You know Marie? Okay. Let's take this back. Oh, my God. Oh, my favorite. All right. I just made reservations. What? What's that? What's that? Arizona. Yeah. For us to leave, we'll leave here on Sunday. Yeah. And we'll get there on Tuesday. No. Christmas vacation. Tuesday or Wednesday. Who's going? Wait a minute. I'll tell you. The furies' eggs are going. Larry's not going. He thinks he's going to go with his father's scheme. What about Sarah and me going? And she's going.

And you and me and Mellie. And we're going to stay in a place where there's a swimming pool. And tennis course. And we will go horseback riding because we can go anytime we want. And we're going to stay till after New Year's. And we'll be back. The Saturday before the third, which is when you're going to celebrate your birthday. Isn't that terrific? Mom. So I'm just the only reason I go is to watch Marie do stuff. What would I do? You could do anything you want. Well, we all get separate rooms. No, we're all staying together. To really economize, we're going to stay. And one little bed. And one room with two double beds. Funny. And I'm... And then we'd... You guys will sleep on the floor and sleep in the back. You made all the arrangements? So I have to go stay with Dad. Go on the floor. You have to stay with Dad. You can do it with us. If I don't go with you, I'll be staying with you. You'll have to stay with Dad, or I'll be with you. Okay. Fourteen days. Just one thing. No, we won't be gone for fourteen days. You're invited to come with us.

Yes. That's the news. I gotta go meditate. I first had to call Grandpa. It's 20 minutes after four. So what? What's on the floor? I think we really have to have a talk. Yeah. Something's really bothering you. No. No, it's not body. Hello, mother. How are you? You sound so light and happy? Oh. Oh, good. They're nice ladies, aren't they? Oh, great. Look, Daddy called me. Do you have any idea why? Yes. Right. Not doing it with seven other things. Right. All right. We'll see you in about an hour. I wish you'd meditate or do something, honey. You're so... You seem so angry. I don't know both. But why don't you...

My... Please go meditate. And then we'll talk in the car. We'll talk to everybody. Try to be ready by five. Five, one. Oh, Michael, please. Five o'clock. Oh. PM. Today. Okay. Please don't give me the attack. Okay? Michael? Grandpa, don't make... Don't cause, please. Please. Your father's going to be there. Okay. Everybody's going to be there tonight. And I would really like it to be nice. All right? Okay. Mike. Oh, Michael. Santa Claus. He's getting incredible already. Let's go, let's go, let's go. Let's go, let's go. Let's go, let's go. You're pushing him, honey. What's the color? Not really. You're really good. It comes, Santa Claus. I'm feeling...

Well. We'll put it all down here. Sure. Why not? Why not? I don't think it's real. No, Murray. We have to do... Come on, Murray. It's over here. You don't put it over here. There it is. The... This one's for me. This is my... Oh, you found it. There's teddy bears this floor. I think it's for Jolly. I'll need to play with it. That's for me. What do you mean? It's for me. I brought it for me. Oh, that's fine. It says, come away from children and babies on the bottom of it. Put it down over here. Put it down over here, Mark. I think it's for someone I know. I think so already. Look step way down there. Or the head moves out and you might not see him. Your foot's hanging right there. king of kings. Get started now. Keep going. He's gone. Look at this.

Good job. He, la, make wrong away cold as zech, hell, it's the art, me, it's wrong. He, la, no, well, far, tall, tall, yoke, gall, tall, He, la, o, me, shabbat, what chair, or, yah, o, roth, ah, ah, so, he, ha, tall, yoke, tall, and I, me, car, ah, dish, a shabbat, ha, o, me, you, go, go. What are you up there? This is for us. Oh, what is it? Oh, wow. Do I want that? Oh, yes. That's beautiful. Oh, man, look at that.

Great picture. Hey. Oh, you're getting one. Oh, wow. And Deeta's going to get one. That's beautiful, Jack. What's next? Oh, I don't know what we're doing here. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I know this is mine. This is my special flower. Arnie, my special flower. Beautiful. He was, he was, gives roses to ladies. He gave me when I broke my arm and gave him my mother's baby back. Yeah, but not that color. That's my color. That's your mother's special color. That's my mother's special color. That's my mother's special color. That's the rose we had that when it opened Michael was born. A mom saved a paper, okay? Thank you. Yes. Michael, the grate was born. Yeah. Oh, wow. There were precious moments we shared together. Made your future moments be just as precious. Though we're apart. Love already. I get very wrapped up in when he comes on and his gentleness and his sentimentality. That's a very real part of Ernie. I get caught up in it.

I think it means more than the moment. And I realize that I have to catch myself to know it is the moment. And there is nothing to go beyond that. And then then I don't get hurt. I used to get hurt by him coming on to me and then withdrawing. And that, you know, sort of. I have to realize that he feels this way at the moment and just take it for that. There you go. Good morning. Okay. Oh, I feel bad again. My temperature is up. Yeah. It's 200. Mm-hmm. Are you going to come over today? Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning.

Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. I want you to swallow, get some fluid in you, you understand? I have gargola. Well, no, that's not food fluid in you. I mean, talk about, talk about, get some juices. Okay? Some orange juice? I heard some orange juice. That's understandable, it hurts, Mike. You can't get dehydrated. You understand? Okay, take care of yourself. I'll see you later this afternoon. Okay. Okay. I'll see you later this afternoon. Okay. I'll see you later this afternoon. Okay. I'll see you later this afternoon. Okay. I'll see you later this afternoon. Okay. See you later. Have fun. Okay, about three four hours. You take a marry? Yeah. You want a couple of? Yeah, well, you're supposed to go. Okay, I'll see you later. Yeah, well, you're supposed to go. Okay.

That's it. That's it? I think. I hope so. The answer has this sporting quiz in it. Thanks. You're welcome. Hi, Ellen. I mean, there's a part of me who says, my God, how can I complain? That he's always around now. What I'm fearful of is when it's all over. Aren't you just going to disappear? And the kids are going to say, hey, you know, what happened today? Are you in life with that? Isn't that his own karma coming back on him? Of course it is. Well, not the children see him. But I am, but is the mother in the base of the house? I'm the one that has to hold the babies to my arms and comfort them. We're talking about an old thing. Hi, my.

Oh, hi, Chief. Hi. Hi. How are you? How are you? Long time. Mike, can you move a little bit different? You haven't seen me. You look really like some chick. Oh, I have some chick. You wouldn't need to look like some chick. Like some really good looking chick. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just because I lost all that weight, changed my specs, changed my eyes. Well, you changed the interior. Yeah. Same. Same. What are you doing? Okay. You're looking fine. Hi, Jackie. Hi, Ernie. How are you? What Michael is good at ease? What did you buy? More junk. Long junk. Very important. Sport. I just bought him that. Who just told me to buy him for him? See, he was testing us both. It's a very interesting little game that's going on here. What's that? You get it for me, Mom, and you get it for me. And who's going to bring it home? Now, he's got two sport magazines. Sure. Share Hanukkah with that smart man. Okay.

This you can't eat, right? Ernie. This you can't eat? You know, the other day was Jack. This you can't eat. Just a minute. The other day was the Jack in the box. And it's McDonald's. And I have to take care of them when they're sick. They're sick, right? This thing is unreal. I've been letting you act like a grandparent. Mom, where do you put the gloves? This is a pretty nice act. I like that, really. Yeah, but you're not. You're the father. Well, we'll talk about it. We will. Mom, where's the gloves? It's speaking. Oh, yes. Oh, boy. Are you going to lay a trip on me? All right. Um, ask Mom if I could have another dish with Joe. I got two. Oh, we bring them in. OK. Jack, he wants to know if you have another dish with Joe. OK. Well, I waited a little bit, Michael. Arnie.

You can't drink. Normally, you see, you can drink water. You can drink juice. Well, he says it hurts him when he drinks it. Yeah, but he needs liquids. I know. I told him that. Did you tell him that? I told him. You just got to have liquids where he gets deep. I told him that. I told him to get dehydrated if he didn't have it. OK. How come, normally, when you spend to Saturday with him, you usually don't spend Sunday? How come you're involved with Sunday tomorrow? I'm not involved. I thought that maybe all of us, you know, if you were going to go bike riding that we do it together because I talked to them about doing bike riding before you talking about doing bike riding. I understand that. What I'm saying to you is that, normally, you're not that much involved with the kids and now... Oh, I think I am. No, not. It doesn't usually follow that on Saturdays. You take the kids and on Sundays, you don't? Sometimes. Sometimes, I think I'm a Sunday still. Oh, no. No. No, no, no. Arnie, I think this whole thing is getting a little out of its normal reality, and I appreciate it, because the film is being made. But, you know, it's kind of cutting into my time.

It's cutting into a lot of... Well, how does it not cut into your time? What would you rather do? Well, I would like, if you're going to take them to take them in the afternoon, and I have plans with them in the morning. Okay. And I would like us to talk about it. I don't particularly want to hear from the crew what you're planning on doing. It's like you're setting it all up. I've been trying to make it easy for you so that when you see them... What you're saying is you want a more structured for you. I want it's more structured for them as well as for me. I haven't had any complaints from them. I've heard them from you. No, because I'm hanging loose. I'm waiting for... You know, you need to make a decision when you're going to see the children and then I build my life around it. What is your retirement? What you want? And let me know. I'll tell you what I want. I want you to decide what day of week that you want. I see the children. Okay, we've been hanging loose. I would like to see them myself in the afternoon. Fine. Okay. That's what I would do in any way. That's right. That's the occasion. But suddenly, an occasion hasn't been since, you know, September. That's what I'm talking about. Just because we're making the film now. You're seeing obserity.

You're seeing something. No, no, no, no. They were sleeping over my house before the film was made. They were seeing it on Sunday. Not anyway. Yes, they were. My mom and my dad fight. And me and my brother fight. It's not a family. If you don't fight once in a while. Whenever my mom talks to my dad, they get in a fight on the phone. And that's when mom and his separation. And whenever she just got off the phone and we tried to talk to her, she gets really mad at us and starts yelling. And we don't... I'm not so happy about that. Because you just... You two brings the whole thing around us. Me and my brother, and it's... It's just because she's meant my father. It's not very easy. I mean, separation. Parents, because they always have to do things separate. And they can't go together. Tomorrow afternoon, do you want to be with your father? Yeah. Okay. So then you have a date with Marley tomorrow afternoon.

Yeah. Okay? That's for sure. What about you? And we're going to go with me in the morning, okay? We're going to try that. Oh, I was all with family with them. Because that was for fun. I know. You'd like the whole family to be together when you're married. Yeah, because I hate it when I come. Okay. One time I was like... One time I was dad. One time with mom. I mean, we're coming all the day together. Well, we can if we all get along. And we all have the same intention. We could do that. We wanted a while we can. Yeah, once a while. We did that. Didn't we do that at Hanukkah? We were all together for a while. No, maybe once a year. But why can't we go like... Oh, because... Daddy and I are not going to be married anymore. Thank God. Why can't we just like... Oh, you don't... You just feel like... Just fall while you don't have to talk to me. Because I like going all together to the spiritual funer. It is much more funer. Yeah, than just one person. Oh. I would like... Before you make plans with the children, not just with the children. Check it out with the children. But make sure that you tell or ask me what's going on.

I don't like... No, it's been going on too long. You've done this three times. It's fine. It's cool. Okay? It's that the subject's concluded. Well, you can't do it. Do you have anything else to bring up about? You're closing me down. No, no. You haven't asked to say what? So, tell me. I never feel like I win. I always feel like he takes it and manipulates it around and turns it out to what he wants it to be. I don't feel satisfied at all. I don't feel like he was hearing me. Yeah, this should be in the Rose Bowl. The only ones that can stop me. Hey, I owe you. Yeah. What do I have? I had six points. Yeah. Only one by a two. Right? Well, that's your book in there. It's my book.

Oh, yeah, I gave you. Yeah, you put the book in the copper, remember? It wouldn't kick, would they? Finally, stop. Bye-bye. Love you. See you later. A little more. A little more. Still no? No, that's not good. It's all good, yeah. Well, I'd rather have money than not have money.

I like spending it. I'm not more than you call. An all-time great saver. I spend it at a rapid pace. Right now, I got around 35 bucks. So that's a lot. I've been gone in five days. I feel great when I spend money. Take it out of my wallet and there's tens hanging out in 20s. Last year, my birthday, I got $92.

So, I had all this money hanging out in my wallet and I had a cup of 20s, 10s, 5s. Stack the sigh of money. Most I ever carried $92. Spend it around one week in the hall and run. It's like two months, it's all gone. I'll probably get around $1,000 at my bar mitzvah. My bar mitzvah is a big thing. Bar mitzvah is your 13. It means being a man. Come in a man. I don't know, I'm not going to be coming a man. I'll be too short. Saturday night is a nice night to be home.

If I'm going to be home at all. That's one of our rituals. I'm home on Saturday night. We all get into my water bed. We all cuddle together. It's a very dear word. I have no heart. I don't know this is important. I'd like to help you please. Come on, we don't want that. He stopped and then I drank and then he jumped out. I told you, that's one of the problems with the water bed. You're not supposed to eat on it. What's happening is really what I must stress. It's really real.

It's not necessarily what I'd like to show. I have an image to a goal. I'd like to show the world and a month really together. That's the way I want to feel. I don't want to respond to react to the funny little feelings that I have inside. I'm trying desperately to keep my life together and keep their lives together and to make everything as normal as possible. I think home and heart and all that stuff is very strong in my being. Our divorce is dragging on. I don't really know when it's going to happen. In many ways, I want to go with the flow of it not happening and stay connected. In another way, I want to get on with my life. I'm very torn because the more I hold on to the moments of earning, the less tendency I have to go out and make a new life for myself.

The kids pulling like I'd like us to all go together. That's a simple request. It makes it more difficult to go on and be alone the next day. Know that I am alone. Know that I have to, you know, find work, get my money tripped together, get my independence together. So we're not married and we're not divorced. It's a very hard place to be where we are. We're in the middle somewhere. In the months that have passed since we filmed the Greenbergs, Jackie and Arnie have finalized their divorce. They are no longer husband and wife. We've just shown them the film we've made about their family and asked for their comments. I think you guys did a beautiful job. Is it the full hour? I really...

I don't want to accept it. I think Maria came out as a star. Absolutely. I think she'll be laughing. I think she won't be laughing. I don't want to go to a place. I don't want to ask myself. That's how you do it. I know. I would think that. I think they all look pretty good. Michael looks a little sadder than he normally is. And I don't think Michael is that person at all anymore. I'm trying to be more of a kind of like a con artist. Well, I do betting, but I guess that's because I love sports and I like to follow them. I might try a career with something like that. I might be some kind of a bookie, but that's the way I operate. Oh.

I don't think I want you to be a bookie, Mike. Oh, I have so many feelings going through me. I'm very touched at certain moments. I really think the family acts well with the exception of Michael who comes on every so often. I think they really are less self-conscious than I thought. I'm trying to think of it how the viewer will be involved. Maybe I like the film so much because it's my life. And I don't think I got from this film a lot of where you're coming from. I feel that you've given me dual messages and many occasions. And I felt in this film, if I was watching it as a viewer, here's a man who doesn't want anything to do with his family, his wife, his ex-wife. I mean, I really felt strongly how you felt about me. It came across loud and clear.

And then I heard the lady saying, but I'd like to make it work, you know. That's a reality in itself. You came from that very strong position and I think by watching the film it really brings a finality to our relationship. That ends it and that feels good. It's not wishy-washy anymore. It's not in the middle, it's not here nor there. It's finished. Our marriage is finished. And that's okay. What relationship we develop, we're going to have to start for the beginning again. We can't go on the old relationship. The old relationship is gone. It no longer exists. The marriage is gone and that was our relationship. If there's going to be a relationship between us, it's going to be as two people just liking each other. Or caring about each other. There was a contest during our entire marriage and the contest was, who wins, who loses, who's control, who submissive. At some time you were in control, sometimes I was submissive. A number of times I was in control, a number of times you were submissive.

And each of us presented the submissive role. The problem is we didn't know how to relate to each other. And the tragedy of it is that, in a realistic sense, we can't live together. I don't think we've tried. I was bred, born and bred, to be married. I mean, that was the culmination of my life, to be a mother and to be a wife. And to live that lifestyle, when I grew up, that was the expectation. To have a career was secondary. It was to be married and have a home, be a homemaker, and be filled that way. And so the ending of that was very much more traumatic for me because I had put all my expectations in that pot. And even though our marriage had not been an easy one

and had been difficult during many years, I didn't really think it was going to end. The ending. I mean, I viewed my parents and their friends and our relatives and people had problems. And they just went on with it. They didn't stop and say, all right, we have problems and they're, they can't be resolved. And so we end this marriage. That's a different approach. Now, that's very much into what's happening in the 70s. But it didn't feel good for me. So I was the one that dragged this ending on. I didn't want it to end. It was as simple as that. I thought something else could be worked out. Because we went into it with the intention of having children in a family and to stop it because it didn't feel good for us and not really try to make it work. And I do think, and Arnie and I have discussed this

recently, that if we knew that we didn't have an alternative of a divorce, we would have worked it out to some good satisfactory degree. We both still could have been happy with it. But because we had all these options, as all the people our age do, it's easier to end something and begin something else. If all things were possible, and if Jackie and I were different people, there's absolutely no question that a marital relationship, you know, with the grandparents around and some aunts, uncles, and cousins, a clan, is absolutely the preferred way of living. There's no other way, as far as I'm concerned, but I've experienced the rare children to have your children know you and you know your children and to feel fulfilled as a human being. But that's not the way it is now,

and we have to do what we can with what is best for each of us. And that means Jackie, myself, Mike and Murray. And that's the way it is now. And that's the way it is now. The presentation of the preceding program was made possible by a grant from the Travelers Insurance Companies.