Le Show; 2011-09-04

From deep inside your radio. From London, England, come for the riots, stay for the arrests, ladies and gentlemen, which reminds me, now just ask in department, because I don't know anything. But, you know, police are human beings, just like the rest of us. And you may have noticed that when they put computers in restaurants, waiters spent less time looking at you, and more time looking at the computer. Because, no, you're nice. You're fine. But let's face it, computers don't get drunk. In the same way, when they put computers in police cars, I think in Los Angeles this happened. Police spent less time actually eyeballing the street and sitting there, car and, you know, look at the computer, because the computers aren't armed. And so we had London last month. And, you know, London is the most surveillance camera city on the face of the earth. And if I were policemen, I know what I'd be doing

when rioters came out in the streets. Well, we've got cameras. We'll go look at the footage overnight and arrest them tomorrow. And nothing makes any police department in the world look better. Then, big, big, fat arrest numbers. Just saying, just asking, just saying, just asking. It's London, ladies and gentlemen, and speaking of London. News of the Olympic movement. Produced by Jim Ebersol. An unprecedented security lockdown of British airspace over Olympic venues to prevent a 9-11 style attack will push British aviation companies to the brink of bankruptcy, according to the industry. Aircraft that failed to comply with an offline zone over London and vast swathes of

Southeast England face being shot down by military Apache helicopters. A month long clampdown beginning next July will restrict all but essential flights over London to prevent any aircraft, including microlights and hang gliders from being used in a terrorist attack on games venues or other disturbances. Similar restrictions will apply over the sailing venues and over the football stadiums and Coventry Cardiff Manchester Glasgow and Newcastle. Aircraft entering restricted airspace will require permission from Royal Air Force Wing commanders or face being shot down by the military. The aviation industry claims the restrictions are too draconian and will drive some companies such as flight schools out of business. They warn the clampdown will span the industry's two busiest months. Some aviation firms estimate potential losses could amount to about half a million dollars. No compensation is being offered. Not even by the official sponsor of the Olympics, BP.

Martin Robinson Chief Executive of the Aircraft Owners and Pilots Association said if they have to shut the airspace down the loss of income would be so damaging it's hard to see how the businesses will recover. That would be a terrible legacy for the Olympics, he said. Dennis Campbell Deputy Chairman of the Booker Gliding Club says it's an astonishing irony that as a direct consequence of a national sporting celebration we a recognized sporting club with a distinguished heritage may be destroyed. The Ministry of Defense spokesman said it would not be appropriate to discuss any security plans in detail at this time. The Olympics latest and oh it's dangerous all right. But it's the Olympics. It's a movement and we all need one every day and one more London note, one more British note from Mark in Devon, South West England.

Dear Harry just walked into my local home fair store only to find a sign inviting me to go and check out their new range of Christmas crafts and decorations now on sale. When I asked a member of the sales staff why they were starting so early she replied it was because of customer demand. Looking over the checkout counter the two people in line were buying a set of bathroom scales and a beach ball that I believe would be. Mark it's even before American Labor Day of course that doesn't exist anymore more about that later but that would be according to our records the earliest Christmas. Hello welcome to the show. Sitting on the front porch ice cream in my hand meltin' in the sun all that chocolate on my tongue

and that's good enough reason to live good enough reason to live Sitting in the bathtub high by playing low diggin' old I green where you must know what I mean and that's good enough reason to live good enough reason to live If I die young at least I got some chocolate on my tongue If I die young at least I got some chocolate on my tongue Sitting in the front seat good girl in my arms smiling in my eyes getting me all hypnotized

and that's good enough reason to live good enough reason to live If I die young at least I got some chocolate on my tongue If I die young at least I got some chocolate on my tongue If I die young at least I got some chocolate on my tongue From Lester Square in London, England I'm Harry Sharer welcome me to this edition of the show. What's happening with news corp? Yeah really insiders say there was a big family row at the height of the crisis in July the week after the news of the world newspaper closed here in London and members of the rupert and James Murdoch testified before parliament.

Members of the Murdoch clan descended on the company's London headquarters to work out their battle plan but within days James's sister Elizabeth had walked out because in the words of one observer who asked not to be named, quote, she had had enough of it all Her father paid her $250 million for her business. Why not? She was not in London to advise her support rupert to James when they appeared before parliament the following week in mark contrast to her other brother Lachlan. Now those close to this is from the guardian which is another newspaper not owned by rupert Murdoch Those close to the family worry the only options are fratricide or patricide Place your bets and Elizabeth emphatically denied saying in a private conversation in New York book launch in July that Rebecca Brooks former head of news international here in England and her brother James had quote, but redacted quote, effed the company. Nice people news, not meanwhile in Australia a columnist for the rupert Murdoch own newspaper the Australian had written a column in which he said the prime minister of Australia was

replicated albeit unknowingly in a major union fraud unquote before she'd entered parliament the column was quickly withdrawn after the prime minister complained the Australian apologized to her and acknowledged the allegations were untrue Nice people doing nice things. And now news from outside the bubble From the independent on Sunday Britain's top corporate chieftains can look forward to pensions that have soared by 70% in less than a decade and are now at record levels according to news statistics being published this week The five biggest pension funds of directors of largest companies are worth more than $120 million combined nearly 600 times greater than the figure that the average retirement fund of five working UK persons would come to The sheer size of the funds set for their retirement could give four of the five top corporate directors annual incomes of more than a million and a half dollars

The findings illustrated widening gulf between high earners and their workers the growth in directors pensions has more than doubled that of the average Britain over the same period a 30% rise The news provoked angry reactions public sector workers including nurses and teachers are going to work longer and pay more to close a black hole in their pensions expected to widen from $5 billion to $10 billion within seven years As the managing director of the pens pensions investment research consultants there's a basic unfairness in that most of these companies have been shutting final pension schemes are winding them down as well as the disparity between the schemes that employees are being forced into and what directors are effectively paying themselves in terms of pension provisions Hey, the rich get richer. What do you want? The Qaddafi regime in Libya warned British officials that there would be dire consequences for relations between the United Kingdom and Libya if Lockerbie bomber Abdel Basit al-Magrahi died in his Scottish jail sale It now turns out the extent of lobbying by the Libyan government leading up to McGrahi's release two years ago

His late-bearing documents discovered by reporters in the abandoned British Embassy building in Tripoli in one scene by the mail on Sunday senior foreign office official Robert Dixon wrote to his boss that Muammar Gaddafi wanted McGrahi returned to Libya quote at all costs He added if it didn't happen quote we believe Libya might seek to exact vengeance The documents discovered in Tripoli apparently indicate that the British spy service traded information with their Libyan with their Libyan counterparts The security service provided intelligence on British based Libyans opposed to the Gaddafi regime according to the Sunday Times In return, the agency received updates on disclosures of terrorist suspects under interrogation in Libyan prisons many of them rendered there by the CIA, which we've also learned from these papers Among the finds the letter that then British Prime Minister Tony Blair wrote in 2007 to help Gaddafi son Saif with his PhD thesis

It begins quote dear engineer Saif and he signed off best wishes you're sincerely Tony Blair unquote The papers contained communications between British and Libyan security ahead of Blair's desert tent meeting with Gaddafi Britain is said to have ladies and gentlemen this is to me this is the buried lead right here Britain is said to have helped the Libyan dictator with his speech writing You know those speeches those memorable speeches he gives thank the Brits No I'm serious thank them that's good work News from outside the bubble ladies and gentlemen it is copyrighted feature of this broadcast and now

the news of the Adam Eddie back in the UK I know it's cold it was warm it's cold I can't handle it You're a very sensitive Adam I am I'm unstable Sounds like you're getting a cold multiple features of the control room staff multiple sorry multiple failures of the control room staff at the pilgrim nuclear power station It's in Massachusetts since the name last spring parked the power plants plants first emergency shutdown in years According to report released this week by the nuclear regulatory commission it found the problems were likely serious enough to warrant a rigorous year long review of the plants safety procedures commission says its conclusion is in is the violations were of low to moderate safety significance that level occurs infrequently at US nuclear plants The commission made nine such findings last year only two others were considered of greater security concern only two others in it two others

It's rare for us to think this kind of action said the commission spokesman Yeah, I bet many experts foreign the more that the fuk crisis is just beginning according to the independent professor Tim Masu A biological scientist who has spent more than a decade researching the genetic impact of radiation around Chernobyl says he worries that many people in Fukushima are Quote bearing the head their heads in the sand doesn't sand block radiation wouldn't that be a good thing to do is Chernobyl Chernobyl research concluded that biodiversity and the numbers of insects and spiders had shrunk inside the irradiated zone And the buried population showed evidence of genetic defects including smaller brain sizes we've heard that before on this broadcast Data line Washington the historic earthquake that shut down dominion resources incorporated north and a nuclear plant last week may have exceeded What the reactor was designed to withstand according to the nuclear regulatory commission it's dispatched an additional team of inspectors to the Virginia plant that was rocked by the quake last week After initial reviews indicated the ground motion may have gone beyond the plant's design or to quote this Reuters story may have went beyond the plant's design

Reuters or writers the North Anna plant cannot be restarted until the operator can show that no functional damage occurred to equipment needed for the safe operation according to the NRC I am so reassured and the Tennessee Valley Authority TVA may have to spend more than ten million dollars for an intensive set of nuclear regulatory inspections At the utility's browns ferry nuclear plant the inspections come on the heels of its recent red rating the worst given by the NRC before a plant is shut down entirely Spokesman for the TVA says the utility is still working on a budget to cover the preparatory and support work for the stepped up inspections at the plant The TVA must pay for the NRC inspectors time which could add up to more than eight hundred thousand dollars the total expenditure for the added stepped up inspections more than ten million dollars Will that be hand passed on to rate payers do you think bets put your money down come on at browns ferry the quote there was a performance deficiency with missed opportunities for safety testing

Said the NRC missed safety testing opportunities meant TVA was unaware for 18 months the key valve on a reactor cooling system was inoperable That came to light only on October 23 is TVA tried to shut down the reactor for refueling To overcome that problem TVA used another water line that was supposed to be dedicated strictly to fire safety that was a design putting after a 1975 fire at the plant The damaged control cables that fire in 1975 you'll like this was started by a worker using a candle to search for air leaks Because they train them they train them up they train them up real good Hey don't knock the training free I'm over here I know I went over to the microphone clean safe cheap to save to meet our friend the atom ladies and gentlemen

There's nothing new and wiki leaks of course except arguing about who leaked the wiki leaks But the Iraqi government is going to launch a new investigation into one of the most controversial incidents of the Iraq war after the release of a diplomatic cable alleging that US soldiers handcuffed and executed women and children during a 2006 raid And the troops were also accused of calling in an air strike to destroy evidence the cable released this week revealed that a UN official Philip Austin told the US in 2006 he'd received information that all the residents of the house had been shot Ladies and gentlemen in the head you see hearts and minds well they shot they were shot in the mind and and now news of a pack At least one in seven Afghan soldiers walked off the job during the first six months of this year well that's good exercise at least

That's according to statistics compiled by NATO that show an increase in desertion the surge is working between January and June more than 24 thousand Soldiers walked off the job more than twice as many as in the same period last year Well some things on the up curve some Afghan officials say the figures point to the vulnerability of a long standing Afghan policy It prohibits punishment of deserters that was aimed to encourage recruiting and I'll allow for a flexibility during harvest time when the number of deserters spikes A buried lead in an aft pack story this is a press release from the ISAF joint command noting that they killed a key affiliate of the al-Qaeda network this week Buried lead is down at the bottom latest jungle we were told by the CIA a year or so ago that there were probably a hundred al-Qaeda operatives remaining in Afghanistan down at the very bottom of this press release from ISAF Quote coalition security forces have captured or killed more than 40 al-Qaeda insurgents in eastern Afghanistan this year

I'm doing my math that means they're down to 40 what are we paying now for each one I'm just asking but defense contractors have wasted or lost a fraud as much as 60 billion dollars over the past 10 years According to report by the commission on wartime contracting in Iraq and Afghanistan report this week will exacerbate fears that fiscal discipline at the US Pentagon they actually wrote this Is lacking at a time when looming budget cuts could lead to greater reliance on outside contractors at least 31 billion have been wasted through poor planning and management 12 million a day since the invasion of Afghanistan The government remains unable to provide effective large-scale scale contract management and oversight says a former congressman who co-chaired the commission this fact he said was troubling considering the contractors have been part of the force for more than 20 years Yet the government was not prepared to go into Afghanistan in 2001 or Iraq in 2003 using large numbers of contractors preparation Schmeperation infuriated that Washington and and met secretly with at least three times with a personal emissary of Taliban leader Mulem Omar

The Afghan government intentionally leaked details of the clandestine meetings scuttling the talks and sending the Taliban intermediary into hiding this according to the associated press Senior U.S. officials acknowledged that the talks imploded because of the leak He is now in Germany the intermediary because he fears retaliation The AP sought comment from President Karzai's office didn't get any reply So apparently the Karzai administration didn't like the United States talking secretly to the Taliban and here's a clue Most Afghans wanted binding security pact with the United States that would keep American troops in Afghanistan and definitely according to a senior adviser to President Karzai this week Negotiations for such a pact have lagged in part because some of the Afghan government are trying to sabotage it he said

He's apparently referring to factions within the weak central government with ties to Iran or Pakistan or the Taliban The agreement now in the drafting stage would give the U.S. use of Afghan run or jointly run bases after 2014 when the formal combat role is set to end Senior U.S. officials say his central function is to provide assurance to Afghans that the U.S. will not shut the door in Afghanistan in 2014 U.S. officials stress that U.S. military presence will be at Afghanistan's invitation The agreement is not expected to include firm deadlines for the close of U.S. operation in Afghanistan though after nearly 10 years of this war and many of the other one Many Afghans are weary of foreign troops and blame the flood of U.S. cash for various security and stability programs for disturbing the economy and sucking up a core of talented Afghans for contract labor I think you know what this sounds like

From Afghanistan public radio where Bob Edwards still does the morning show From the newly refotified presidential palace and downtown Kabul we put it down in downtown I'm Mahmoud and I'm Hamid We're safe and sound, the survivor brothers This is Karzai Talk And of course we welcome a new member of the Karzai Talk family today And I don't mean an affiliate in Kunduz I mean a new brother Mahmoud Since Wally's gone on to the public radio studio in the sky, Mahmoud is my new partner Welcome brother Thank you Hamid, I feel almost like the number 3 guy in Al Qaeda Oh no, so far they've only killed one of my partners So let's tell our listener something about you Mahmoud

You own the only Toyota dealership in the country and the only cement factory in the country Everybody's got own something You know, someone might wonder what connection is there between cement and Toyota's Their brother, main customer for both is your government There's more truth than poetry there, there was no poetry there My older brothers got this wing of their show already Hey, I got an orientation the easy way Oh, how's that? I bribed the produce Hello, you're on Karzai Talk Hello, this is Taliban Andy Oh, he talks like he knows you Oh, hey, all my people talk like they know me, it's my common touch Oh dear, younger brother, the most common thing about your touch is that you only have your robe right cleaned every other day No, I talked like I know him because we had some meetings together, the Americans brought us over to the palace

I got to use the jacuzzi Oh, that's got a common touch too The only clean the filter once a year Seriously, we never really had meetings per se Just some conversations about whether meetings should be on the agenda if we ever got around to having an agenda But Andy, what's your question? Well, the Americans said I could get my parking at the palace validated Hey, Andy, if you always believed what the Americans say, you wouldn't be in the Taliban to begin with Well, I'm not full time Taliban Oh, what else do you do? With the mornings I'm a teller at the Kabul Bank Well, then my older brother signs your salary checks Actually, that's the other thing I called about, I think he's cashing them too Well, you see, this is why we need to have the Americans stick around a while longer Parking validation systems are something we just haven't got a hang of yet, but do hold onto your stubs

Okay Also to your tickets Hello, you're on, you know, it really didn't cashe his checks No, I'm sure Well, it's safer there Yes, also it's 100 Hello, you're on cards, I talk Hi, I'm a first time caller, long time American general Oh, I don't know whether to salute you or send you a tot General, thank you for your service Well, on behalf of at least some of my men, thank you for your products That's my late half brother, this one doesn't deal in such items yet Yet So, general, do you have an order or just a question? No orders today No, that's a relief, I haven't gotten around to speed training my sandals But I do have a question

When do you think my troops might be saying goodbye to this lovely country? Well, if what I overhear is correct, general And they say it every day No, I mean, really is in for the last time General, let me be like our Jewish friends for a moment And that's your question with a question When was the last time you saw Afghan army troops in action? Well, sure, I saw them in the field about a week ago But I wouldn't call them what they were doing action Well, sir, would you leave your country in their protection? Well, now you're answering my question with two questions Even our Jewish friends don't do that General, if I can speak for my younger brother I think he'd like to have American troops stay here Until Afghanistan can find a new location But what for a base?

No, sir, for the country Thank you for calling, sir And that's all the wise cracks we've prepared for this edition of cars I talk You may think you're hearing my theme tune, but it's just what I like to call Bach mood music We add hope today from the Kabul Bank Making America's Banks look good by comparison Legal services for cars I talk by the law firm of ketchup and nukam Be sure to join me in my brother Bach mood Next time for another edition of cars I talk This is APR, Afghanistan Public Radio All the days, all the nights All the beautiful between us Those moments full of life They were there to take so freely But not me

There were times I recall Life failed beautiful and still Just until I grew tall And nothing felt like it was easy Not for me Oh God, watch me as I trip and tumble Oh God, watch me as I fall From grace again and all God But time I think I've worked it out I fall on my face And I wouldn't know what died If I held it in my hand

And miss the chance of happiness And dance instead on stony ground That's so me So you see I'm afraid I believe That every good thing has to end I'm like a name drawn in the sand Special till the tide comes in And really It scares me Oh God, watch me as I trip and tumble Oh God, watch me as I fall From grace again and all God

But time I think I've worked it out I fall on my face So I fall on my face This is Lucio And ladies and gentlemen It's the Labor Day weekend in the United States Which at the beginning of this segment I have to say it's

Slightly boggles the mind If the mind can be slightly boggled Send my boggle That this would be the first Labor Day In the living memory of most Americans Where a certain event on television will not occur And I'm speaking I think you know, of course, of the Labor Day Jerry Lewis-Telethon A bewildering series of developments this year Jerry Lewis announced that this was going to be his last telephone Of course he's getting on in years Has health problems He said it would be his last telephone The last time he'd sing You'll never walk alone at the end A month later they muscular dystrophy association He should be very taciturn press release Saying he was not going to host the telephone He was not going to be replaced As the chairman of the muscular dystrophy Just kind of get out of here

Now this is to the guy better or worse Like it or not And if you read the article that's now on my website You know where I am at on all this But as I say in the article Like it or not He made this particular disease a star And so it's bizarre, it's weird If something was wrong Maybe since it's a public show in a public agency They should say it publicly It's just a weird, weird development So to sort of compensate, to sort of mark this occasion A very personal collection ladies and gentlemen Of telephone memories For the umpteenth time The umpteenth time I introduced you a gentleman Who reeks with professional know-how Who has a abandon when it comes to his professional expertise What he doesn't ever really have an opportunity to expound on As a humanity aspect of a gorgeous human being

And you have to know him And oddly enough The people that watch him in the professional syndrome Know him to be a terrific man And they feel that wonderful chemistry That comes along the most penetrating medium in the world Television But I stand here with deep pride To proclaim he is my friend and I am his Mr. Ed McMahon ladies and gentlemen Thank you Nice to be with you once again Thank you Ed I think it's very important to make two disclaimers I have to do this because my instinct usually serves me well One, the early hours of the morning People that are seated in a studio It's hardly possible for you to be totally energetic and enthusiastic But these performers are coming from all parts of the world to help us They have no way of knowing our appreciation or gratitude They only know and live and survive on an audience's applause So if you would be kind enough as long as you indeed are the audience in the studio If you could just acknowledge that

It only takes a moment and I repeat Any good doctor will tell you it's good for the system Because your atrophy is sitting there It would be good for you to applaud And it makes the performers feel good And then it lessens my load of having to let them know that we are indeed grateful Because that's just words who says they really believe that They only understand applause So I would appreciate it if you'd consider that The next time I perform a steps on the stage The second disclaimer is that a VTR or videotape recording of Mr. Kirk Douglas Some people at this point that he isn't standing stage center Kirk Douglas would love to be here He took the time to go to a studio And make that videotape recording for my kids He had to go to Europe or somewhere Therefore he wasn't available for this date He took the time to make that videotape recording Just as many other performers do I think they're entitled to the same applause as the performance is here live So if you consider that it'll make he ain't going to hear you applaud But I'm going to tell him you did it good Okay, good

Earlier in the program I committed to taking some of the press to cast And to be completely honest with you I attempted to do that one hour and a half ago One hour ago and then I found myself procrastinating And I am at a point now where there's no further procrastination I have to do what I must do I have to take some of the media to cast I have to stand here and qualify our conduct and our actions Based on doing what we do So I thought and I wrote on the page I've been seriously thinking about doing some work against humanity Just to see what some of the press would say about We're probably going to say anything different Jerry is, Jerry is what Jerry is

He gets it on He gets it on the real show this way And I'm a narrow pooh I'm a narrow pooh endorsed at you Because he doesn't, he doesn't his way If you look at that tow board I think you'll see $15,635,024 And the witch did it again You believe that Eggman called it at 9.30 last night Or at this morning 9.30 this morning I think I'll be under those here on the way Wait a minute, you said 15.7 And I said why don't you have your head put into a cuckoo factory You call me a banana Now for those that were offended because I said the man upstairs goofed I'm not going to cop out and apologize to you

Because that's what I believe I'm a very religious man And for those guards hearing people That think that I might have put down God by saying he goofed If you are indeed religious And if you indeed believe in God Then you must believe that he's fallible Then you must believe he can in fact make an error You must believe if there is a God And I believe there is He's got to have a lot on his mind too And he just happened to make a little error here For those of you that were offended when I said the man goofed I apologize for that But I'm not going to take it back Because that's what I think I hope he's listening and he's not too mad at me Because maybe he'll send a few dollars If that man is indeed a hero to that child And let that child have a hero We need heroes We don't have enough heroes anymore The last hero that we all come to Is a dear friend of mine, Jack Kennedy When Jack Kennedy died

We forgot the word hero If in that child's mind I Or whoever plays this role as a hero So be it Don't extract that from that child That child has had enough extracted So put your hero Leave the child alone A don't know that that is a coin phrase And it's a phrase that's a little uncomfortable They're not my children They have six health and children And because of that My kids have become A part of my breast and my lifestyle I care for them Why am I a criminal? Why is this platform a criminal? What we are doing here is great work It would have meant that Rather than the rules At war For only The entire history of time And the more than we've only been at peace 577 days in the last 17,000 years And they had telephones

We would have had peace, I'm sure Is that idealistic? Is that all in fashion with the coin? Is that stupid? Is that rhetoric? No, that's what I believe Who was asked to resort to Melodramatic means to cheap people watching Maybe I'll resort to any means I did not hold this company together And build this structure And demand that we have a full network So that I don't get your attention That we do all of this So that we have known the watch Most of the trouble in our world today Is because no one can interpret What the Russian says to the Yugoslavians How do we know the interpreters Indeed saying What the Russian is saying So there's an imbalance And then there's a less stimulus And there's uncertainty It's like the old joke The lady is in the pool And the wife God says Lady Don't you see that sign? She says what sign? That sign that says no swimming allowed She said that's how you read it

The way I read it says now Swimming allowed? Well, interpretation changes it, doesn't it? So that when the Russian says Tell the Yugoslav We love him And he interprets They love you Oh, that's terrific And he walks right into the trap in his legs Come on What must I do? Not be Melodramatic? Let's help this call Put empty sound He'll do it His voice His way Orchestra, please repeat this vocal So I can do this It's like an arrangement You, the brass will take this My lane, no

My lane, no Strings just take Moment, moment My lane No, my lane, no Moment, moment, moment Good I just want the saxes Saxes Ready? My lane, no Moment, moment Backwards Moment, moment My lane, no And anchors away my boy How do I know how I do that? Are you kidding? I'll take my face Right now our people are back at Beechstick Central Trying to add up the totals from our great customers And all our people that are out there selling the Beechstick and Cheeseballs The proceeds of which they're totalling up And Bill Pindarvus will be here tomorrow to bring you some money But I'll give you a little something to start us off

I appreciate your cheeseball will do Is that all? No, no, no, no, come on Larry don't go around I think that the magic of this whole thing is that a man stands before you when he's not ashamed. And I'm very lucky that I can do that because that's hard. I don't like to be ashamed, and yet I'm not ashamed that I am ashamed. And people believe that in anyone. You should try it. You have a lot of friends. It's hard. But for what the odds are on this crap table, that's really putting yourself in the second position. I don't want to see nobody's face to can give me a break so I can do this and maybe I can

lay down for an hour. I don't want to be children, laughing, running, playing, silent questions show in my kids eyes. What to answer? Somehow. Somehow my kids trust me. Still, I can't explain the reason why it helped me to help them come, come, come along with me. I would like to call your attention in the studio and the attention of the viewers at home to please watch this actor and listen to what he says for twenty one and a half hours

day in and day out, never will there be words as significant and as revelant as the words you're about to hear through the eyes, the heart, and the soul of this man that you're about to see. I hate people, especially children. I like to sneak up on them when they're only two or three or four years old when their bodies are straight and healthy and full of bounds and fun, full of life and joy. When they're saying look at me, look at me, see how high I can jump and look at me mom, watch me catch the ball, look at me dad, see how fast I can run, those are the little

ones I like to pull down because I hate people, especially children. It makes me laugh when they can't stand up, let man hurl himself into the galaxies and take snapshots of the moon, but down here on this earth where I prowl, he is still unable to find a cure for the scourge of little children, for I am muscular dystrophy, the hater of people, especially children, and I dare you to stop me, it will take more money, more time, more science, and more love than you have yet been willing to give. Yes, I am muscular dystrophy, I hate people, especially children, and I dare you to stop me, I dare you. The actor was Steve Franken, a good friend and a man who I really had to beg to do that

material written by Bud Schoelberg, helping us make our point. We feel it is the most meaningful piece of literature written about my kids ever since the inception of this organization. We thank Bud Schoelberg and Mr. Steve Franken for doing a most superb performance for training a disease that's hardly easy. And for the newspaper man who said quote, Jerry Lewis refers to these crippled children as his kids quote, end quote. That stabs me a little bit because what the newspaper man is referring or what he is inferring is that it's that terribly saccharin mordland term that I selected because it would give me some degree of popularity and or I was using my kids quote, end quote. So I would endear myself to the American public. So for the newspaper man, I'll never mention his name, he ain't getting that from me.

Please know that I was a very famous star for a lot of years before I ever needed to remind anyone I was still alive, one, two, two is the most important, two is the most important because my kids like that they are my kids. My kids refer to me as their special man, they are my kids, we got a good thing going between them and me. Before me, they were just people floating around with nobody to hang their wishes or hopes or dreams on and it could have been anyone that did it. I just happen to do, it sticks in my throat to say my kids only because it is smacking of maybe it's a little heavy, I can't be concerned with what the public thinks about it's too heavy, they like it. And for those that understand no explanation is necessary, for those who do not understand no explanation will suffice, but I made it anyhow. It just keeps turning and it's fighting me, I haven't got the time to deal with that,

I can't even confer with it and it's starting to steam me, it keeps moving and it's attacking my energy system. So if you don't pick up the phone and help me with these numbers, if I strike out, it ain't going to be all that bad because that's pretty respectable, but it's going to be less than last year. If we come up less than last year, here's all of the cop outs, the economy, inflation, if we had another president and all of that garbage, that's a cop out, it's your fault and it's mine. I missed, I struck out, I didn't do the job, somewhere I failed, okay, I'll deal with that.

He ain't going to love me any less. My whole ego trip, I've been accused of ain't going to be diminished because if I'm on an ego trip, whether you do or you don't ain't going to change anything, I don't care what you think, okay, I know what I am, I know what I think, I know what I believe, if you want to put me down for this impeachment, start. He's so hot, like a Latin fire, what we've got is the next Messiah, though we sing and laugh, what we are really trying to stop, thank you for the invitation, we're at the

end. I therefore wrote something and I would just like to let you hear what it says, I didn't want to put it on cue cards and I couldn't memorize it in time but they're the words that I hit with my fingers at the tie-prighted. Our ladies and gentlemen, the all new Labor Day telethon against my mosquito disagree is just about over, is just about over, Louis, that's a cue. And while my heart is happy and I hope to feel a deep sense of pride thanks to your response

and your support, there's also a feeling of sorrow and I think that sorrow stems from the fact that we have to do a telethon in the first place. I suspect if I live another 100 years I'll never understand the why of what's been perpetrated upon my kids and I know the good Lord says we shouldn't question but I've always been a man filled with curiosity and wonderment about life and the human condition and so now I will spend the next year curious again, anxious again, full of prayer again that our labor of love this day will be the beginning of the end of this musculid history telethon. And if that is to be, you all have my deepest gratitude and my love for helping me have that happen.

If it isn't to be, then I must start questioning again but with the questions will come the same dedication, the same hard work, hope and continued hate of this vicious killer musculid history and I swear by all that is holy. I will not stop my attack on it until it has no one to attack anymore and just has to vanish from the face of the earth. If I have to come to you again, my hope is that your hearts and your concern will be in the same place they were this day. I pray I never see you again under these conditions. They fired the next Messiah. Well, ladies and gentlemen, that's going to conclude this week's edition of the show

The Program It Turns Next Week at the same time over the same stations of our NPR worldwide throughout Europe, the U.S. and 440 cable system in Japan, around the world to the facilities of the American forces network up and down the east coast of North America via the short wave giant WBCQ, the planet on the mighty 104 in Berlin. On your smartphone, through Stitcher.com and available as a free podcast through KCRW.com, it's almost like the what's love got to do with it network and to be just like paying for more inspections at that nuclear plant if you agree to be with me that way, would you? Really already. Thank you very much. A typical show shout-out to the San Diego Pittsburgh Chicago and Hawaii desks, thanks as always to Pam Haustead, thanks to Adrian Bodnemut Global Radio here in London, for help with the day's broadcast.

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