Le Show; 2015-04-12

From deep inside your radio. Ladies gentlemen, this week's program focuses primarily, and that is something new for this program to focus primarily on anything. It focuses primarily on the passing this week of two courageous men, both named Stanley, both died this past Tuesday. And to a greater or lesser degree, I knew both of them. One worked in Chaubez and advertising, so he was kind of famous. We'll get him in a few moments. The other Stanley worked in academia until late in his life, I yanked him into Chaubez. His name was Stanley Cutler, and judging by what I've heard from some of his students since his passing, he was a revered history professor at the University of Wisconsin long before he got the chance to make history. That opportunity presented itself when Richard Nixon's practice of recording his conversations became known to the public during the Watergate hearings, while a very few of the tapes were subpoenaed as evidence during trials that grew out of the scandal, the rest of the tapes

remained under the control of Richard Nixon and his family, and he had no intention of ever making the public. Stanley Cutler had a cock-eyed belief. The tapes were made on publicly purchased tape machines, on publicly purchased tape, with the aid of publicly paid personnel. So Stanley thought the tapes belonged to the public. That was more than idle theorizing. In the early 1990s, Professor Stanley Cutler filed a lawsuit in pursuit of that theory demanding that the tapes be turned over to the National Archives for the purpose of making them public. After a few years, and a lot of lawyering, he won that lawsuit. That's the only reason that the Nixon tapes, beyond those first subpoenaed few, are known to us today, are in the public domain today. Stanley wrote two essential books on the tapes, Abuse of Power and the Wars of Watergate.

Still, the place to start for anyone wanting to understand exactly how the Nixon administration worked. He wrote many other books on other subjects during his fine, long career. But as he himself recognized somewhat roofily, it is a scholar of the Nixon tapes that his national reputation was made. When I was still doing radio at another station, the then-manager produced a program on the occasion of one Watergate anniversary, and she had Stanley on as a guest. Now because she knew that I had done some, well, a lot of Nixon satire during the heyday of the comedy group The Credibility Gap, she invited me on the show too. And Stanley and I started chatting. We shared an awestruck delight at the combination of missanthropy, ruthlessness, and sheer chutzpah that ran through the tapes. After the show, we stayed in touch. Stanley was a serious man, with a serious sense of outrage at the way Nixon ran his White House.

But he also had a rocket sense of humor. To veer into Yiddish, he was both a teacher and a tummler. So it was natural that I would turn to Stanley to collaborate with me on a television series that mined the tapes, not for history or news, but for the unconscious comedy that we both knew the tapes had in spades. We worked for two years together on the series that became Nixon's the one. Stanley, now a professor emeritus, would fly down to New Orleans, around to Southern California, and we'd plow through the recordings mining for the gold. Since he was still and always in his story and he'd occasionally point out a conversation showing Nixon absolutely cynical approach to say the Supreme Court appointments and urge its inclusion in the show. I'd say Stanley, we're doing comedy. He'd sigh, humoringly. Literally. Stanley was also constantly writing essays using insights gained from the tapes about how the Washington sausage actually gets made to analyze current events. These essays bristled with anger and amazement at the fact that Mark Twain was right.

History may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme. We stayed in touch Stanley and I until the last couple of months. I should have known something was wrong. The news came on Tuesday. The funeral is today. Branches of virtue were taught to associate with generals and athletes and people who overcome physical shortcomings. Stanley Cutler, a history professor in the little college town of Madison, Wisconsin, had the balls to stand up to the former president of the United States and his financial supporters and to see the battle through the victory. It's safe to assume no leader of the most powerful country on earth, whichever country that will be at any given moment will ever again keep such an unsparing, unedited, verbatim record of his or her days in office. Although Hillary, please feel free to prove me wrong, what Stanley Cutler gave us is a gift that will keep on giving not just to comedians and historians, but to anyone who's curious about how the powerful really act and talk and think.

It was a privilege to be in some measure, his friend. And now to the other Stanley we lost this week, fellow by the name of Freeberg. Hello, welcome to the show. November 1621, by now the white man has arrived in great numbers, not only at Miami, but at Jamestown, at Plymouth, and at Salem, Massachusetts. The Puritans have established a thriving colony enjoying all the social and cultural refinements of a modern society. Hi, Harb. Are you taking to the witch burning Saturday night? The Puritans Adams. Who are you taking to the Rosary Club luncheon? I haven't got a date yet, but I hear it's going to be quite a spread. Well, may a penny packer, how's it look for re-election? Great, great, great.

Never look better. Now what about the Indian Vold? What do you mean by that? Well, you're not too popular with the Indians, they could lose you the election. That's possible? Well, they outnumber us. Hey, that's the trouble, you give them an inch and they take over. But maya, they were here before we were, we moved in on them. So we did. Well, there's just something about them. They wear funny shoes, they don't even have buckles on them. Be that as it may, election is Friday, you better make some gesture this week. Like what? Well, how about if you make a concession and pick an Indian as a running maid? You'd be sure to carry the Indian block? What? Anything happened to me? You'd have a mayor that wasn't a Puritan. They'd probably take orders directly from Chief Powhatan. Say, I got it, the big lunch in tomorrow, the one under the tree. What about it? We'll ask an Indian, that'll impress the rest of them. We could even announce you're going to put one in your cabinet. No need to go that far. Just have one to lunch. It'll be great, press. Mayor Penny Packer comes out for equality, justice, votes, what a slogan take. An Indian to lunch this week, show him we're a regular bunch this week.

Show him where his liberal hands can be. Let him know he's almost as good as we. Make a feathered friend feel fed this week. Oh, burl of the fact he's red this week. Let him share our quaker oats. Because he's useful when he votes take an Indian to lunch. Two, four, six, eight. Who do we tolerate, Indians, Indians, right, right, right, right, take? An Indian to lunch this week, let him sit right down and lunch this week. Let's give in and I'll do the brotherhood bit. Just make sure we don't make a habit of it. An Indian to dine this week, show him we don't draw the line this week. We know everyone can't be as a merry car as we go.

After all, we came over on a Mayflower, take an Indian, not a one Indian, but a real life Indian to lunch. From the edge of America, I'm Harry Scherer, welcoming you to this week's edition of the show. You may have read the obituaries for Stan Friedberg. So you know that he started out doing cartoon voice work. What kind of a career is that? And then he became a voice and puppeteer on a legendary children show on Los Angeles TV. It's called Time for Beanie. And then as if this is a natural thing to do, he started making records. What you just heard was from one of the last records he made a collection of songs and sketches called Stan Friedberg presents the United States of America, volume one. But through more than a decade as a capital records artist, before that phrase became

a kind of career death sentence. Stan made fun not only of American history, but of politics and television and the music business and music itself. He had hit records, making fun of other hit records. In the 1950s, for example, a previously unknown Harry Belafonte started a craze for colipso music with a tune called The Banana Boat Song. You still hear the two note chant from it played as a crowd rouser during NBA games. Here's what Stan did with it. Well, I don't see why you all know Stan all the next to the guitar, man. He sent me over here, yeah, well then sing soft, man.

You know, I mean like wow, okay, it's too loud, man, that's better. The music day, the music day, the music day. They like come and they won go. Yeah, man. Who will call night and not drink of rum? They like come and they won go home. Start banana till the morning comes. They like come and they won go home. Lift six foot seven foot eight foot punch Day night to loud man to loud Six foot seven foot eight foot punch Day night my ears my ears like my ears Day night to no hollet man Day night to no hollet man It's too shrill man it's too piercing Oh well I don't see why it's too piercing man It's too piercing Well I got to do the shout No man it's too piercing like I don't dig loud noises Well you ruined the whole piercing

Record is what you do Yeah well tough I'll take my bongos and go man Because the whole thing is like bugging me anyhow Yeah well wait a minute I will shout No I'm a cop man Like I didn't want to make this gig in the first place No no wait I'll be soft Yeah well then back off from me man it's too piercing Okay How's this? Yeah! Too loud man Okay Yeah! Too loud man I can still hear you Would you mind leaving the room? Okay Too loud man Too loud Too loud Crazy Day night come and be one go home Too loud Too loud Day night come and be one go home Happy with the full bunch of ripe banana Day night come and be one go home

Too loud Too loud Don't sing about spiders I mean Like I don't dig spiders Well that's how the song goes Too loud Too loud Too loud Is that it can I leave now Well not yet we got a big finish Day Too loud Yeah man I locked myself out Crazy I come through the window Day night come and be one go home Wow One of Stan Freberg's biggest hits was a piece of conceptual art called John and Marsha Making fun of daytime television Which was then crammed with Hoki Dramas sponsored by detergent companies

Which is why they were called soap operas Freberg just had two characters address each other by name Over and over again In intonations expressing every possible emotion Hit record Another wildly popular TV show of the era Was the first big cop show of the television age Was called dragnet Laconic cops Ultradramatic music Ended up in Freberg's hands Sounding like this The legend you are about to hear is true Only the needles should be changed To protect the record This is the countryside My name is St. George I'm a knight Saturday July 10th, 805 pm I was working out of the castle on the night watch when a call came in from the chief A dragon have been devouring maidens Homicide

My job Slam You call me chief Yes, the dragon again devouring maidens The king's daughter maybe next You got a lead? Nothing much to go on Say did you take that 45-automatic into the lab to have him check on it? Yeah, you were right I was right Yeah, he was a gun 822 pm I talked to one of the maidens Would almost have been devoured Could I talk to your ma'am? Who are you? Homicide ma'am Is that right dragon? It was terrible He breathed fire on me He banged me already How can I be sure of that ma'am? Believe me, I got it straight from the dragon's mouth 11.45 pm I rolled over the king's highway I saw a man stop to talk to him Pardon me sir, could I talk to you for just a minute sir? Sure I will mind What are you doing for a living? I'm a nave

So what do you want to make a federal case out of it? No sir, we heard it was a dragon operating in this neighborhood We just want to know if you've seen him Sure, I've seen him Could you describe him for me? What's to describe? You see one dragon, you've seen him all Would you try and remember sir, just for the record? We just want to get the facts, sir Well, he was, you know, he had dawn's polka dots Purple feet, breathing fire and smoke And one big blood shut eye right in the middle of his forehead And like that Notice anything unusual about him He just wants a mil dragon, you know Yes sir, you can go now By the way, are you going to catch him? I thought you'd never ask, a dragon net 305 pm, I was riding back into the courtyard And to make my report to the lab Then it happened It was a dragon Hey, I'm the firebitten dragon You must be St. George, right? Yes sir You knew 45 caliber swords That's about the size of it You slay me

That's what I wanted to talk to you about What do you mean? I'm taking in a 502, you figure it out What's the charge? Devouring maidens out of season Out of season, you never pinned that wrap on me Do you hear me cop? Yeah, I hear you I got you in a 412, too A 412? What's a 412? Let's go On September 5th, the dragon was tried and convicted His fire was put out, and his maiden devouring license revoked Maiden devouring out of season Is punishable by a term of not less than 50 Or more than 300 years If you watch PBS, please give But if you really watch PBS You've long since learned to avoid reruns Of the Lawrence Welk show In its very first iteration The Welk show was a local dance band Programed fronted by an accordion player With a Germanic accent Originating from a ballroom on a pier In Santa Monica

The dance was always Topoka rebranded as champagne music To give it a touch of class When it moved to ABC Welk added Some other soloists A national accordionist And it became a national hit So much so the Welk used some of his earnings To build the first high rise office building In Santa Monica It's still there The Lawrence Welk building Anyway, when it became a national hit Freeberg went after it Thank you Thank you and good evening, friends We're coming to you once again From the beautiful Aragon Ballroom On the Lyck Pair At the beautiful Santa Monica Beach We're going to sing Thank you for all those cards and letters

You folks out there in the television land And we surely do thank you for For all the cards and letters From you folks out there in the television land Starting this off tonight There's our trio of the lemon sisters And girls, how are you going to sing them We're going to sing Thank you for all those cards and letters You folks out there in television land Land And after appropriate the number One and the two Thank you for all those cards and letters You folks in time of vision land We wonder where this television land Land here, could it be a couple of miles Where Disney land is Oh well, nevertheless you guys Got a galaxy

What is that noise there What a crazy world Oh, it's the bubble machine Turn off just a moment I'm some pole that just a moment Please turn off the bubble machine Please turn off the bubble Thank you lemon sisters For the lovely couple A wonderful, a wonderful And now on the way to the show Here's that man with the deep voice Larry Looper Larry, what are you going to sing for us Larry? I'm going to sing thank you for all those cards and letters I'm sorry that number has been taken Well, I'll sing the funny old hills then Good, one and the two and the All that just a moment The bubbles don't come till the end of the program Turn off the bubbles A thank you Larry A thank you Larry Looper

A wonderful number And now I would like to play a short instrumental medley based on the names of girls One and two and the No That's wonderful A thank you Larry Thank you very much And now here's that young man about time from the brass section The famous The famous Thank you very much Thank you very much And now here's that young man about time from the brass section, a stony, stoned well to sing, please. Please, lend your little ears to my pain. What is the matter with that machine? Harry, hit it with your horn. Hit it. Here, stick your mouthpiece in it there. A wonderful, a wonderful love.

And now on the way to the show, here's our champagne lady, Alice Lean. Alice is gonna sing a monolight and the shadows. One, and two, and a- Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in 25 years, my popping finger is caught in my cheek. Will you give me a hand, Alice? Her poor arm. No, that the other arm. Full it, full it. That's it. Monolight and shadows, and you in my arms, and a melody in the bamboo tree, my sleeves. Even in shadows. Hold it, somebody stop the bubble machine.

The whole ballroom is lathering up with bubbles. And now I can't see the cameras. Here, let me set the accordion down on the stage. And I'll try and fix that bear with us, folks. Just a moment, please. GD time is running out, and we haven't even played the polka. Wait a minute, boys. I didn't mean, hold it, Alice. Don't polka on my accordion. GDead, it was a world of charm. Hit the theme, boys. And so it's good night from all the champagne. Where's the cameras? There's so many bubbles I can't. And so friends, we help the whole ballroom and shoving off the sea. Sure as a clear night, ain't it, Captain?

Yep, meaty. These are the kind of nights when the sea plays tricks on you. Yeah, I recollect one line off Singapore. Tricks, I see. Like the Mirage of the Port-Bow now. What? See it there, kind of bubbly looking in the moonlight. Oh, yeah. I didn't know better, I'd say it looks like the arrogant ballroom. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's a catchy chant of your home in there, Captain. What is it? Oh, I don't know. Just keep running through my head. Let's go below and catch a little shut eye. Okay. Alpha. Alpha. Wanna fall, wanna fall. Turn off the bubble machine. Alpha. Alpha. Alpha.

You've probably heard Stan Freeberg's Green Christmas played in the holiday edition of this program. Despite his string of hit comedy records, this one, Green Christmas got banned by radio almost as soon as it was released because it dared to attack the commercialization of Christmas. If you listen closely, you can hear what most people back then didn't realize. With the name Freeberg, Stan was widely assumed to be Jewish. Actually, he was the son of a Presbyterian minister. He was that rarity and iconoclastic believer. Anyway, our paths crossed metaphorically around this time. I was a kid working on the Jack Benny Radio program, which originated from the CBS Studios Unsunset Boulevard. What used to be called Columbia Square? When Benny finally decided to stop doing the radio show and concentrate on television, Freeberg inherited the CBS radio time slot and the studio. He ended up doing the last big time network radio comedy show with a studio audience and an orchestra.

So, of course, he took aim at censorship. But it's great to be with you tonight. We have a special pardon me, Mr. Freeberg, but my name is tweedly. Well, we all have our problems. I am the censor from the Citizens Radio Committee. And I feel... You are from the Citizens Radio Committee, is it? It's exactly what I said, yes. And why? What is your purpose in being here? I must okay all the material used on your program here. And I think the best method is to just sit back here and interrupt when I feel it's necessary. When you plan to stop me every time I do something that you think is wrong? Exactly. I'll just sound my little horn like this. And then you stop and I'll tell you what's wrong. Somehow I can tell this is going to be one of those days. You just go right ahead, Mr. Freeberg. Don't mind me. Yeah, now I'd like to say...

You forgot to say thank you, Mr. Freeberg. Politeness is an essential in radio programming. Your program goes into the home. We must be a good influence on children. That's a darling little horn there. Thanks very much, Mr. Tweedley. You're welcome. I'm sure. I'd like to sing a old river song and honor this week of National Mississippi Riverboat Paddle Wheel Week. Mr. May, have you pleased? Very polite, Mr. Freeberg. Thank you. Old Man River, that old man. All right, Tweedley. Politeness, I dig. But what in the world is wrong with Old Man River? The word old has a connotation some of the more elderly people find is tasteful. I would suggest you make the substitution, please. I suppose you insist. Precisely. You may continue. Okay, music. You forgot to say thank you. Thank you.

Yes, okay. Thank you, Mr. Tweedley. You're quite welcome. I am sure. Elderly Man River, that elderly Man River. He must know something. But he don't say nothing. All right, hold it, fellas. Now what, Tweedley? The word something. You left off the G. But that's authentic. Something. Something. That's the way the people... I'm sorry. The home is a classroom, Mr. Freiberg. I know you said that. Keep in mind the tiny tots. And furthermore, think back. You'll recall that you said, but he don't say nothing. Now, really, Mr. Freiberg, that's a double negative. Do you mean he does say something? No, I just wasn't using my head, I guess. I mean, after all, it should be grammatically correct. Keeping in mind the tiny tots, yes. You probably mean he doesn't say anything. I suppose I mean that, yes, I guess.

All right, fine. You win. All right, Billy Music. Thank you. You're welcome. I am sure. Elderly Man River, that elderly Man River. He must know something. But he doesn't say anything. He just keeps rolling, rolling. He just keeps rolling along. He doesn't plant taters, potatoes. He doesn't plant cotton cutting. And then these, those that plants them, are soon forgetting. But Elderly Man River, he just keeps rolling along. Excellent. Thank you. You and me. The tiny tots again, was it?

Exactly. Sorry about that. Here we go. You and I, we sweat, because fire and strain, one is always in direct with pain. Oh, we got bite at one. Hold one punch. Let it rip out, Billy. You can't let go. Okay, take your finger off the button, Mr. Tweedly. We know when we're linked. Well, that concludes Elderly Man River. Oh, yes, and thank you for being with us, Mr. Tweedly. Mr. Tweedley. You're welcome. I'm sure. The radio show went off the air. Radio network radio went off the air. And Freeberg said to work on what most of his fans regard as his magnum opus, Stan Freeberg presents

the United States of America. And it reported to be a history of the United States told as a musical comedy, a Broadway kind of musical comedy. Later on, he tried to get it produced as a Broadway show encountering the usual frustrations of that process. But the record itself was something that college students in that era, at least the ones I knew, played over and over again and memorized. This is how it all started with Columbus. 1492 Madrid, the Queen of Spain grants an audience to an obscure Italian sailor. There in her chambers, plans are made destined to change the course of history. All right, we'll go over once again. First, you hock the jewels. You give me the money and I buy the ships. Then I discover the new world.

You dump the king and I'll send for you. You say you'll send for me, darling, but will you? No, look, we've been all through this before. I know, but really, you're such a dreamer. You'll go out there and you'll sail right off the edge of the world. I will not. Wait. You're such a charming boy, darling. Why don't you forget all this? I'll set you up with a nice little fiat agency over in West Barcelona. I don't want a fiat agency. Then why don't you go to Moscow like your friend Da Vinci. I'll put you through. Look, if Lenny wants to starve to death, that's up to Lenny. Me, I want to discover the new world. Carry out my dream. This majesty, King Bernard. The king. Oh, sure. He'll be at the Inquisition all afternoon, eh? Time to slip away. Quickly, take the jewels and go over the balcony. Too late. Good afternoon, dear. How was the Inquisition amusing?

Ah, Dolphsville. Seymour. Hey, who's that? Oh, you remember Christopher Columbus? Oh, you mean old, round, round world. You and your Bohemian friends. He's not Bohemian. He's Italian. Italian Bohemian. Look at him in that hat. Is that a crazy sailor? Crazy. I'll tell you how crazy. He's a man with a dream, a vision, a vision of a new world, who's all about to sit his gleam on dimmed by human tears, with purple mountain majesty above the two cents plain. Fruitin. Fruitin. Fruitin. He holds these dreams to be self-evident. There's round, round world, with Indians and justice for all. Let us then go forward together toward Miami Beach that the dream of this crazy Italian boy, indivisible, should not perish from the map. Bravo, Bravo!

Was that moving? Was that a great bet? Listen, I always said this girl had a lot of... Wait a minute. I ask a simple question. I get a pageant. Why should Spain sponsor you? Why don't you go to Portugal? I did. They bought the prices right. Oh. Then I have your permission to sail? Have you had your shots? I have. Permission granted. Grazia. Arrivederci. Hasta la vista. Adios. Adios no chaqueos, comaneros, and then when you get out of here... Strange, he left by the balcony. For some habit, I guess. How's that again? Nothing. Isabella. When are you going to quit fooling around with these nuts? Admiral Columbus, sir. The men are weary on the point of madness.

Well, that's a trouble with the labor today. You know, they realize we're going to discover the new world. You've been saying that for the last 57 days. Well, nobody forced you to come along, Your Majesty. My doctor told me I should go to Florida for the winter. I still can't see what you need at three ships for. I got a better deal on the fleet rate. I'll accept that. But we better sight land pretty soon. There's rumblings of mutiny. Really? Yeah, come over here and listen. All right. Rumble, rumble, rumble. Mutiny, mutiny, mutiny. Yeah, I see what you mean. I'll jump up here in the rigging and speak to them. You mean on top of everything else, this ship is rigged? Now hear this. Into the admiral speaking. I know the going has been rough, but if we can just hold out a little while. No, rumble. Stop that rumbling down there. Who could blame him? The whole thing is madness. I don't like the way the crew is acting. Well, you're all we're playing in a little bit yourself there. I tell you the world is flat, and that's that. It's round as your hat. It's flat as your head. It's round.

It's flat. It's a round, round world. It's a round, round world. I contend it's round, and it's going to be found. And all the results are in. It's a round, world. No, and it's always been. Flat, flat, world. It's a flat, flat world. I insist it's flat as a welcoming mat and he's sailing off the end. How about our crazy hot pralib? Friend, get hip. What I climb aboard the ship. If I didn't have odds, the earth was highly smerry cold. It's a miracle if it's air square king. You're a square square king. If you don't believe you're going to receive the shock of your royal life. When the ship pulls in, that may am me. Yo, ho, oh, when the drown of me. We are loyal, such as the king and queen. Well, what kind of nut would you have to be? The borrowership and put out to see when you don't know what's on the other side. Got a heart like one brother who shouldn't get in there with half the fun. Give up my throne for a one-leavy boom.

No wonder I'm turning. We gave the green hot ride. Whoa, not that to the least. Crazy kind of scheme. That's a kind of maybe dream. One that goes on the side, that ship. If I didn't have odds, the earth was highly smerry cold. It's a miracle if it's air square. You're the wind and rain. You're the type of square. You're the first John Wayne. I feel like a wimp. It's having a wake up. Watch out the ocean. If it do you think I can take. Come and in the name of claim that land in the name of Isabella and Ferdinand. That's Ferdinand and Isabella. No rollers off this round. Round. Round. It's a crazy kind of scheme. It's a kind of maybe dream. But it's a round, round, round. Well, for all our sakes, I hope. What was that? French horns. No, no. I mean before that. Oh. It was a lookout. He cited land. Hurry! Quickly hand me the glass. All right. Now. No.

The other one. Oh. Oh. For the new world. Likewise. All right. Go ahead. Give the kid top billing. Well, it was just a thought. No, no, no. Go ahead. I claim this land in the name of Queen Isabella and King Ferdinand of Spain. Oh. Well, first I stick the flag in the sand and then I. Watch yourself, Admiral. Natives. They may be hostile. Well, we're all a little hostile now and then some of us are able to sublimate. Others can't adjust. You know how it is. I know. I can talk to them. All right. All right. Hello there. Hello there. We white men. Other side of ocean. My name.

Christopher Columbus. Oh. You over here on a full bright. Huh? No, no. I'm over here on an Isabella as a matter of fact. Which reminds me. I want to take a few of you guys back with me in the boat to prove I discovered you. What do you mean discover us? We discover you. You discovered us? Certainly. We discover you on beach here. Is all how you look at it. Yeah, I never thought of that. Well, at any rate, my men and I were wondering if you could spare a little food. What kind of num nums you want? Well, what is that strange looking plant you're holding there with little yellow kernels? You mean this? Yes. What is that? French horns. No, no, no. What you're holding in your hand. Oh, corn. That's what I thought it was. What else you got to eat around here? Oh, berries, herbs, natural fruits, and organically grown vegetables. Just as I suspected. What kind of a diet is that? That's why I've come here to fulfill my dream.

You have a dream. Yes, I do. Would you like to talk about it? I certainly would. My dream is to open the first Italian restaurant in your country. Give you some real food. Starches, spaghetti, cholesterol, all the better things. That's called progress, you see? Now, right here, it'd be a good location for the restaurant. Ocean View and all that. Is it a room for a parking lot? You're kidding. Whole country is parking lot. I suppose. Well, I'd like to put a little deposit down on the property here. Okay. I only have a few doubloons on me, so. If you'll direct me to the nearest bank, I'll get a check cash. You all have luck today. Banks closed. Oh? Why? Columbus Day. Oh, yeah. Are we going out on that joke? No, we do reprise of song that helped. But not much. Not much, no. Don't put roll. And the box can sleeve all the weightens here. I guess it's time to leave. I go to work. I go to work. I go to work. I go to work.

I go to work. I go to work. I go to work. I go to work. I go to work. I go to work. I go to work. I go. I go to work. I go. I go. I go. I go. I go. I go. He entered the world of advertising, where the budgets were bountiful and he could carve out the freedom not just to be funny, Bob and Ray had been doing funny commercials for years, but to be funny at the expense of the advertiser. On the late 1960s, a writer friend of mine had moved up to Mendocino County. He'd gotten an assignment from the New York Times magazine to profile, Stan Freberg, but he preferred to spend his time getting, as we used to say, getting his head together. I'd been doing some freelance journalism, so he bequeathed me his assignment, and I

spent a month with Freberg talking with him, watching him work at his offices on the sunset strip. It's trying to understand how such a talented and successful satirist could find true happiness selling pizza rolls and prunes. The Times magazine rejected the resulting piece because they said, it assumed readers already knew who Stan Freberg was. Years later, Stan finally did volume two of the United States of America, and amazingly he invited me to perform in a couple of the sketches, since some members of his longtime cast of co-conspirators had in the meantime passed away. I got to watch the amazing studio symbiosis of Stan, the writer performer, and his late wife Donna, the producer and editor. And then our paths crossed one more time. Last November, I was invited to MC Attribute to Stan at Hollywood's Egyptian Theatre. Big names and small, lots of folks came out or sent videos to say how influenced they'd been by Freberg's work, and how delighted.

He was 88 then, and physically frail, reportedly he had just cracked a rib, and he attended the evening in a wheelchair. We all got to tell him how much he meant to us, and at the end we got to give him a huge long standing ovation. There was something odd about that evening. You may have read, or you may read hints of what that's all about. All it needs to be said now is, Freberg was a brilliantly funny guy, and he got away with a hell of a lot. Here's one more track from the United States of America produced at the time of the Red Scare, thank goodness we don't have this kind of problem anymore. The time for action, and the time for words, on a hot July night in 1776, Benjamin Franklin came out of town for the weekend.

But it's only Wednesday. Yeah. Well, you know, a penny saved, is a penny earned, and what does that got to do with anything Franklin? It's the first thing to hear me in my head, I'm just making conversation, an idle brain is a devil's playground, you know. So you're pretty good at that, aren't you? Yeah, there's some new Y-Sings I just made up. Y-Sing? Yeah, I call them Y-Sing. What can I do for you? Well, I got this petition here. I've been circulating around the neighborhood, and kind of thought you'd like to sign it. Call the Declaration of Independence. Yeah, I heard about that, sounds a little suspect if you ask me. What do you mean suspect? Well, you're advocating the overthrow of the British government by forcing violence, aren't you?

Well, yeah, yeah, but we've had it with that royal jazz. Who's we? All a guy. Who's all a guy? Oh, George Jim Madison, Alex Hamilton, Johnny Adams, you know, all a guy. Ha! The lunatic friends. Oh, they are not. Bunch of wild-eyed radicals, professional liberals don't kid me in. Oh, you called George Washington a wild-eyed radical? Washington MC, his name on here. No, but he promised a sign. Oh, yeah, that's George, boy. Talks up a storm with him, wouldn't teeth? Can't shut him off. When it comes time to put the name on the old parchmental runie, try and find him. And what are you so sorry about today? Surely the bed and surely the ride. All right, all right. Let's knock off the one-line jokes and sign the petition. What do you say? Let me skim down it here. We're in the course of human events. Hey, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, that among these are life, liberty, and the perfume of happiness? That's pursuit of happiness. And all your asses look like f-shapes. Oh, it's stylish.

Oh, I think. It's in. It's very in. Oh, really? If it's in. We, therefore, the opportunity of the United States of America, so, so, so, so, solemnly publishing declared that they're absolved from all religions, the two of the British, the crown, and so on, a little overboard, isn't it? Well, you write this? Yeah, yeah. I knocked it out. It's just a first draft, isn't it? Well, I tell you, why don't you leave it with me and I'll mail it in. Come on. Oh, I tell you, Tom. Let me say this, I'm with you in the spirit. I'm sorry to understand that, but, you know, I got a plate conservative, I'm a businessman. Yeah. I got the printing business going pretty good. Almanac made Book of the Month, and then I got the inventions, you know, got pretty good distribution on the stoves now. And, of course, every Saturday evening, I bring out the mag. Look what?

Magazine. Oh. Well, that reminds me, that artist I sent by, didn't you look at the stuff? You mean the rock, well, boy, skinny kid with the pipe? Yeah, that's a kid. Yeah, glance at it. And he's too far out for me. Oh, yeah. Well, I know you got a plate to say. Yeah, yeah. Oh, but getting back to the signing of the petition, how about it? Well, it is. It's a harmless paper. Oh, sure, harmless. I know how these things happen. You go to a couple of harmless parties, sign a harmless petition, forget all about it. 10 years later, you get hold up before a committee. No, thank you. I'm not going to spend the rest of my life writing in Europe. Oh, come on. Come on, what? Come on and put your name on the dotted line. I got to be particular what I sign. It's just a piece of paper. Just a piece of paper, that's what you say. Come on and put your signature on the list. It looks to have a very subversive twist. How silly to assume it. Won't you non-deplum it today? You're so skittish, who possibly could care if you do?

The un-bredish, activities committee. That's who. Let's have a little drinko and fill the quill. It sounds a little pinko to me, but still. Knock off the timid manner. If you want a banner to ray, banner to ray. You must take a stand, a stand, a stand for this brave. All this brave, new life, new life. Oh, who wants to one? To live, to live, so concerned of concern. But if, if, if I don't ditch, he don't disagree. Agreed. But a man can't be too careful what he signs he says. Well, if I sign it, will you renew your subscription? Yeah, if you promise not to keep throwing it on the roof.

Well, man. It isn't on the roof. It's in the rose bushes or in the mud. Man, I said I didn't want to use to be here, you know. Besides, it's hard to hit the porch from a horse. Now, come on. All we want to do is hold a few truths to be self-evident. You sure it's not going to start a revolution or anything? Trust me. OK, give it to me. You got a quill on you? Yeah, yeah. Hey, look at this show off handcock, will you? Put a flamboyant signature for an insurance man. Ah, you did a good thing, Ben. You won't be sorry. Now, if I can just get another three or four guys, we'll be all set. Well, I tell you one thing. What's that? You better get him to sign it in the next couple of days before they all take off for the Fourth of July weekend. I mentioned Freeberg's collaborators, vocal collaborators, cast members, Jesse White, Peter Leeds, Byron Cain, Dawes Butler, June 4a, among the most notable of them. His musical collaborator on most of what you've heard today,

The Great Billy May, whom we paid tribute to when he passed away a few years ago. Stan had a great love of that era of music and an equally great hatred for what came after. His contempt for rock and roll reminds me a lot of how those of us of the rock and roll era regard hip-hop today. Anyway, he was able to turn that contempt into comedy with memorable results. The phrase clink, clink, clink, jazz lingered long after this record. A hit record, making fun of a hit record. The Great Pretender. Oh, yes, I'm the Great Pretender. Pretender that I'm doing well. What's up, the moment, please?

You on the piano? What are you doing? Well, man, I just play a little u-baba-du like a u-baba-du-baba-du-baba. See, I think it's a mistake at my part. And I got the same chord over and over like a clink, clink, clink, clink, clink. Right! That's right! You want me to play the same thing all through the song? You get on fast! Wow. My need is such a pretend too much. I'm lonely but no one can tell. Man, you scared me, don't do that. Oh, yes, I'm the Great Pretender. Oh, a drift in the world of my own. Watch it! That's better. I'll play the game. And you better play it too. For we're getting a new piano man. That's all right with me. To lead is this feeling of make me believe.

To lead what I feel. My heart can't conceive. Oh, yes, I'm the Great Pretender. Just laughing in game like a clown. My hand is full of love and I seem to be what I'm not used to. I'm wearing my heart like a crown. What a drag. Pre-e-tending that you're still around. Which is the woman? It's just the moment, please. I thought you were through, man. No, no! I don't want to play that lick no moment. I come from a different school like Shearing, Arrow Garnest. Take, man. Who about who they are? I'll let you be up. That's not gonna sell the records! Oh, man. No bug me.

I don't want to play that clink, clink, clink, jazz. Where you won't get paid tonight. Well, all right. To lead is the field of make. Be believe, believe, believe to be what I feel. What my heart can't conceive. Oh, yes, I'm the Great. You still lovely that turn out now. That's the diamond part. I appreciate it. Okay, like a clown. I see him. Hold it. I see him. Slow down. I see him. Retard. Don't stop me now, man. I've got to where I like him. Stop it. Stop what I say. I'm getting out of here. He ruined the ending. One of the loveliest parts in the hole. Peace. The whole thing. That worked so much, but during the show we came over, it was kind of hard to show by picture. One of the parts we wanted we could square in the hole we wanted.

And before that, it's time to show our happiness that remained. Well, that's what I wanted. And I've been a little nervous though. Exchanging things. As the world is getting closer and closer. I feel it makes me much brighter. I miss you, man. Nice. I want you. Things that can't help us... News of Secrets, ladies and gentlemen, just before we close. Reasons not to get rid of your portable radio, battery-powered radio, or your landline phone. A federal appeals court now asks the Obama administration to explain why the government should be allowed to keep secret its plan to shut down mobile phone service during quote, critical emergencies. The Department of Homeland Security came up with the plan, Standard Operating Procedure 303, after cell phones were used to detonate explosives targeting a London public transportation system. The first time it was used in this country, apparently, or at one time it was used, mobile

phone service was shut down in the San Francisco Bay Area subway system during a protest. The government withheld the information about it, uh, the electronic privacy information centers sued in one, and now it's in front of an appeals court. It can shut down the cell phones, and then emergency, you know, and they don't declare emergencies every day. And California Governor Jerry Brown has ordered the first ever mandatory water restrictions in state history, but Patrick Sullivan with the Center for Biological Diversity says the governor failed to include oil and gas exploration in the water cut back order. Despite the massive amounts of water used in fracking, some 2 million gallons a day. Plus they use a lot of sand. And now we get reports that because of the construction boom in developing countries, there's a sand shortage.

There are sand mofias in the world. We're running out of sand, happy fracking everybody. That's going to conclude this week's edition of the show the program it turns next week at the same time. Over these same stations, every NPR worldwide throughout Europe, the U.S. and 440 cable systems, which found around the world through the facilities, the American forces network up and down the east coast of North America via the shortwave giant WBCQ, the planet. On the mighty 104 in Berlin, around the world via the Internet, at two different locations, live at archive whenever you want it, harrysherah.com and kcsn.org, and available as a free podcast at SoundCloud, side show network, iTunes, and Tuning.com. The email address for this program and a playlist of the music you heard here on, and car sites are t-shirts available at harrysherah.com, thanks as always to Pam Hallstead and Jenny Lawson at W.W.N.O. New Orleans for help with today's broadcast. Me, I'm the harrysherah on Twitter. Let's join the conversation, shall we?

The show comes to you from Century Progress Productions and originates through the facilities of W.W.N.O. New Orleans Flagship Station for the Change Is Easy Radio Network.