Comedy Tonight; 201; 202

From San Francisco's world famous entertainment like Club boarding house it's a comedy tonight's special featuring Lorenzo model warra. Now I have this great this great opportunity to come out here on stage and talk a little bit about the Philippines talk about our culture our language. You see my father is full blooded Filipino. My mother she's Scottish. So in our language this makes me a musti so. And then if you're born five months after your parents are married then you're mistaken. So Whoopi Goldberg it made me realize there are many of my people here just didn't want Golla asking for money from you. I will not do is I would go to your pocket books and berries so when Evening Magazine where do you find the best Chinese food. We're going to take a visit to Chinatown. Thank you. I had no idea. I was in a cloud of darkness all my life. I'm just in the in the evening magazine they know all the places I know nothing. Writer. Good. Comedy. I've. Got. A. Great line of

comedy for you. Coming up as a performer who started out in San Francisco and then migrated to Los Angeles where he does standup comedy at night. Right. For television sitcoms during the day a tough life indeed. Please welcome a native San Franciscan. Lorenzo. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. You know I can look at this crowd and I can tell that you've seen a lot of comedians work. You probably say to yourself hey you know you comedians you use basically the same techniques. That's because we comedians are given these techniques by comedians from years gone by and you sort of pass them on to as many of those techniques as a thing called switching. And what that is is you take an old joke switch around a few words and come up with a brand new joke. I happen to be one of the masters of this I like to give you an example. Now here's an old joke. Two guys walk into a bar. The first guy says Who was that lady I saw you with last night. Second I says That was no

lady that was my wife. I take that old joke switch around change around a few words and come up with this brand new joke. Two walks into this guy. The first guy says that lady I saw you with last night was that who the second guy says no it was my wife that lady that you have literally hundreds of those. Well I would like to introduce myself. My name is Lorenzo. Lorenzo Michael what in the name of the water is a Filipino name. Do we have any Filipinos in a crowd with us tonight. Good. Thank you very much. A proud yet incoherent people. You know I just got back from the Philippines. I was there to attend the combined comedians and busboys convention. You know. I flew the on air Filipino top airline.

Except that a lot of people don't realize that Filipinos have trouble with certain letters in the alphabet like f's and peas and bees and they sort of confuse those letters and so announcements on the airline always sounded like this. Good evening and thank you for playing airplane you know. Captain buzz Belmondo. Now we'll be playing in an altitude up 25000 feet and cruising at a speed up by miles per hour. Now we'll be arriving in Manila at 6:15. Maybe 6:30. Would it be safe 7:00 now while I was in the Philippines I got a chance to watch a lot of television. Boy you got to get used to watching television in the Philippines. You see they import a lot of American programs always having language problems with the titles. You know if it's here it's there but there's something wrong with those titles. You give an example the program leave it to Beaver. See there are no beavers in the Philippines. It's true that word has no meaning. So when you watch the

show what you see is good evening and welcome to leave it. Do we want to start. Jerry Mathers as the iguana. I don't usually do this but I'd like to thank you people for the opportunity I have of coming out here on stage and letting you know that I'm Filipino. I know that may not be too important to you but all my life I've had a tough time getting people to believe that I was Filipino and it really bothered me. Sometimes I felt I had to walk up to people and say excuse me I know you're not going to believe this but I'm Filipino. I always say to me Well what can I do for you Mr. Lupino point me my life tough. But now now I have this great great opportunity to come out here on stage and talk a little bit about the Philippines talk about our culture our language. You see my father is full blooded Filipino. My mother she's Scottish. So in our language this makes me a must smell so. And then if you're born five months after your parents are married then you're

mistaken. So some of the language you know I'm sure that most of you will agree with me when I say that it's not only the comics job to come out here and entertain but also to pass on information to let his audience know about things that they may not be aware of. That's why I'd like to talk to the men in the audience. You know you are. Having trouble meeting women. Tired of women asking you if your mother had any children that lived there maybe what you need is a copy of Lorenzo's love techniques. You see I'm on the road a lot and I've tested these techniques in singles bars to out the country. I mean give you just a few examples. Let's say you walk into a place and you spot a lovely young lady. How do you get her attention. I recommend this technique. Now that you have her attention.

Overwhelm or which your wit your charm and your humor. First you're whipped. Scuse me. I couldn't help but notice that you were by yourself. You don't have a disease do you. Just. Asking. Your charm. Say can I buy you a drink. You know you can tell a lot about another person by what they drink banana daiquiri. Oh sure. Bartender banana daiquiri in June and catch up for me. Your humor. Hey I hear your shoes are having a party. Why don't you tell your underwear to come on down. Oh I know what that's for I know what that's for. You're saying. Oh yes sure. But what if the woman shoots me down. There's that book Lorenzo's love techniques that have those quick comeback. Those snappy comebacks. You bet. Let me give you just a few examples. So what do you say darling. And you think of any reason why we shouldn't go to my place and have one of those quick yet meaningful relationships. You're a lesbian. But what part of

lesbian are you from. Just that you are baby just a joke. He's. Never. Now that pretty much wraps it up for me. But before I go I want to urge you people to come out and attend more of these comedy shows because you should see the types of comedy that are available to you. Standup comedy musical comedy improvisational comedy probably the truest form of comedy to be able to compose and perform right off the top of your head right on the spot. And you know when I think of improvisational comedy I think of that Master Joey Keino this guy was amazing. I remember one night Joey was playing a club and there was a guy sitting in the front row who heckled Joey throughout his entire act. Funny the guy yelled up at Joey why don't you put an egg in your shoe and beat it without thinking without missing a beat. Joey jumped off the stage and stepped him. The Rambler. Thank you and. Good.

Night or a good or standup humor is a unique art form. Now this entertainers dazzled critics with her uncompromising characters in theaters all over the West Coast. So let's welcome a newcomer to the San Francisco Comedy Scene. Ladies and gentlemen I know it's an unbelievable day. But here is Whoopi Goldberg. Brother. Man. Was. Man. Made you stand Stenhouse sign hanging lotion. And. Miss. Asmat come up to me. Yeah Mom I'm hanging my patch Jim. I live in a phone booth and out of sight. I'm. Really mad. Come out to me. Time out why you mess up on neighborhood. Taguba. That's why you are a junkie.

Yeah. I know. Junkie babe. Cause like John is there are no jobs. I'm a dope addict. Nah man. Sir you see them now cause I got a job you know I'm a thief. And listen. There is a lot of job security and beyond that people always got stuff. People always watch stuff is a traditional kind of gig. I'm sorry. But it's hard. You know it's hard because like I went up to Mill Valley to check out this creamy dreamy pageant I heard they had some gold plated digital esque gold Fox hanging out. Of them and dry.

So I figured I'd go up and check them out. Now I got. My. Dues went out had been standing in this line waiting to get their fingers on the map. And right now I'm. But it's rough. Let me tell you I'm a wise ass because I am LPN's baby move in you know and I'm to. Blame. Let me tell you something. There's one news. One is aliens from outer space. Now I'm a U.S. citizen. Now. And I can get no welfare now. But this can come from outer space. Get a doll named after him. No no I'm. Not exactly like this you know because I've got the low down on is dude you know it

is a. Distasteful dude. You know I got to be a star you know because I wrote the real thing now. But people don't really know about it because it's just so easy. I'd change his name baby. I call him B.T. like black you you know. I had all come back to no suburban as neighborhood. He lives in Oakland. All the black people I know what I'm talking about. And don't nobody mess with a mess see because he look like everybody else. Is. Now. Cruz. Is where he's looking for his friend Elliot Dymock found home phone this year. Maybe he runs into two three little kids named Dee Dee

Dee Impey we take him home and he's gone hang out with down. And mom said Look baby you can't hang here unless you you know pull you away. So I take him to the welfare office and see. Some might say this is my sister's son and he's visiting with us indefinitely. Because he's visiting with us that has put a strain on our food budget. So we need a booster in our food stamp allotment. So the chick behind the desk said oh yeah he's very fat Oh and he's very ugly too. And now he has $50000 in food stamps a month. You know everybody's cool.

Right. He goes home everybody digs him everybody but mom's old man you know James Bowles have no boyfriend on welfare. OK. And he flips cakes over at the top you know he comments like now is this circus freak. Mom what a mess it is his sister this is your son. And blood's really tight. You know ran out of time. Because he used to pay them nuclear warheads you know. Tight. Tight because the figure is creamed on cardinal this like I think about Roy Rogers

now I do think a lot about right now. And I wonder about that. Do you guys see that stuff is hahs and put it in the living room take some time to put it in a living room. Now you know damn must be up tight. Hope you don't die before you do. You have to go to the gas to see Bang. OK.

OK stop that. I like. To pay for it. It's like no it's ok. It's like people are like always saying to me like like you're just a valley girl. I'm like OK I'm totally freaking out because like I'm not a Valley Girl I'm a surfer chick and there's a difference. This like a big difference and like nobody knows about it you know because like I got it. OK. I got to cash my check. Right. And like the lady says to me like oh you're super cheap. And I said like OK yeah. You know she she's like a copy of ballet girl eight in it because like nobody takes nobody takes like Valley Girl seriously. OK. And like

I just like I want to be taken seriously. A. Guy. Next. To me played. Two hundred thousand people the best of all and besides playing to large audiences he's also been on Showtime and has taken the comedy clubs on the East Coast by storm. Please welcome from Brooklyn New York. Talented. Perry

so. Ready them. How are you guys doing. Yeah I went with my girlfriend. By the way my girlfriend I don't know if this woman is dating a lot of other men while she's dating me but the other night when I left the bedroom she stamped my hand which is an 800 number on our telephone. She plays Bolero on a Walkman radio. Things that. I get in so many things and she's. Anyway we went to Jane Fonda as well as health and all these health classes and the these. Have you ever been to many places like these women to shake it up and exercising all over the place. I'm not really in enough health to go into an exercise class and I like to have you know what I did why I did it. I enrolled in Meatloaf's exercise class. I been down to touch your knees. That's it for this week Lucy and next we go. Up a side of TV. Don't don't get me wrong but think.

This is like. Actual Size. You don't think that Barry Sobel is in fact a little bit bigger than a Trans America Ferrera. BOLLING Just me. Don't get me wrong I love it already. All right. I was mentioning see if you see on TV. You know what they'll do though they'll take an inanimate object. A bottle of perfume and make this thing human. It's just a bottle of perfume Chanel Number 19 witty daring bold sensuous devastatingly feminine raunchy just a little bit curious about a perfume that has sex more often than you do. Now. Now I'd like to know where you are going. What time you're coming home. I'm Chanel. I'm 19. I can do what I want. I want to go out too. No. You're only five Chanel Number 5. She's too young. I.

Know I've been told this at my dentist my Jewish Chinese dentist Dr. Phil Ling.. I went to. You see you kind of mixed reactions here instead of like the previews a movie preview as we have some people going up. Do we get a light from the people who kind of we have some mixed reactions is going to the crowd. Find out what didn't work about that job. The lady here going no so was like the comedy referee 5.2 1.7 zero point nine zero point eight no 10. We have a 10 here. It's like you say the militant black lady over here with this guy. I'll tell you it is. That's her like you kind of. All right. I think we should do is maybe a

little racial tension in the room. I think it's fair. I think is what should happen. A TV taping no big deal. What a little racial tension that's the oh who was the lady who has the IQ of 10. That's no lady that's my wife. We do week we the lady the lady with the Tonight you will worship. At any time I got you. She's raising her hand. Apparently you're right over here. What we were saying you did like the joke. OK. I think. I'm going to put a few more points on that. Q If I may arrive here. And you're saying did you like the joke or just don't like the lady with the. Oh we don't know you yet. Pretty abrupt for judgments I think I do. I don't know. I

don't know what I want to know. But I know what you want to see me about if I like you. I'm a lady when I was 10. All right. I like this I'd rather forego the material for just a minute. Do you. One of these California ones how to be on. The right here. Well we wanted to get a good seat. You're on your knees in San Francisco it's a good seat. Oh oh. Oh. My god. Oh my God.

You're taking a picture of the guy taking a picture. You're like a. Professional comedy. It's just that simple. All right. We have these are these are. You comfortable. Can I get you something to drink. Well I think if. We get. And not charge it to the Milton Barkley. To. An. Evening Magazine they call this show PM magazine around the country is a TV show it thinks and no one has ever been out of the house. It couldn't be. More condescending. Tonight an evening magazine where do you find the best Chinese food.

We're going to take a visit to Chinatown. Thank you I had no idea. I walk in a cloud of darkness all my life. I'm dust in the wind the evening magazine they know all the places I know nothing right here. Tonight an evening magazine where do you find Q-tips. Well let's go to a drugstore. Where do you find air. Let's go outside. You guys are really really nice. So I'll take it. Can I. Go. Back to boarding house. You. Joining us on comedy tonight. Thank you.

Most of you may know my father is not here tonight. He's not real crazy about what I do for a living. You know my father has always wanted me to be a television repairman. He said Those guys work forever. They make the bucks. When I was a kid he'd see me coming home from school he'd turn on the TV and fool around that horizontal not get your start jumping up and down like that. I'd walk into the room he'd say Look a dish is broken. Can someone be to. Walk over there and straighten it out for him. And you don't we see you know the Lord gave you that gift.

Don't lose it. You have something for everything. This is amazing what what what what do you do for a living. He's leaving. Please stay right here. We're going to take charge. I said that's it. I'm going to quit smoking. Then I find out hey it's not that easy. You know smoking is really a

crutch and sometimes you just can't give up that crutch you have to exchange it for another crutch. You know some people suck lollipops or other people chew gum. I myself am now an alcoholic. So. That's where I've been focusing. Know what I'm looking at right. Oh yeah there you go. Oh it's me again. Can got to. Check that one out in the back. That's my mom. Tonight from San Francisco's world famous entertainment like the boarding house it's a

comedy tonight's special featuring Bob Sarlat. They have bartending school now too. Now that really befuddles me now you know what is it with. What does it take to be a professional bartender and how can you screw up you know. A guy walks into a bar his or her like that beer on your head. I'm sorry I'm not a pro Dr Gonzo. I've got to be honest with you I got into comedy for the sex and drugs and I'm a little upset because I found out the other day I could have been a congressman. Jim and Sam you Jack in the box now has Kreiss songs. Ha. Ha ha. There is a dream come true. That a. Comedy that we've got three great comics this evening. First up we have one of the most versatile talents in San Francisco. He's been in television. He's been a host for television and his voice is frequently heard on radio. He's also currently a

correspondent for PM Magazine and he has a big bag of jokes. Ladies and gentlemen a warm welcome for Mr. Bob Sarlat. Thank you. Thank you. Tony. To got your mojo working right buddy. Yes. I got mine working right. And I was talking to Alex before the show he recently quit smoking. He quit smoking recently and you know you love the sound of the cigarette package which is the surgeon general has determined that cigarette smoking is dangerous to your health. Ooh. Right. So a lot of people have quit smoking. Great. Now the surgeon general got real cockies trying to impart his advice for other products. I picked up a bag of a tentative gestates that the surgeon general has determined these are excellent with onion dip. How many voted in the last election and. Now there's a big election here in San Francisco I don't know about you. Not quite enough crap in my mailbox. I don't know. I think we got the mail here.

I always had this illusion on the last day of the election. You wouldn't have campaign literature in your mailbox. Just the candidates heads coming in. Me me me me me. Is that in mind. What I did was I don't know you get so much junk in the mail. I just had to point this out there's a couple of things that you get that make no sense now. There's always people endorsing other people. Right. Now here's something the San Francisco police officers association did and in their support a ban Tom Granfer supervisor right now he didn't win. But this is what they said about him. One of the reason you should vote for him on our school board ban to help establish a rule that automatically expel students who bring guns to school. What a guy who doesn't have a gun. What was it like before they had that rule. Well Mr. Watson That's pretty funny.

You know guns with a whole class. If you're up late enough at night you might see old stuff like like Deal Roberge and doing commercials for carpet period. Robinson did tales of Wells Fargo dynasty in that 20 year span he did carpet ads. Now they finally had a canim off this because the only thing you'd ever hear him say it was the word carpeting here. Everything else was a blur. I've dropped you don't forwards it toxic boat see typical PCP which tried to cure you. You know for your label means keep a campus book tape or go to see papers carped. Where do you get Myre Carcajou. But if you're up late at night they used to run these things for like remember there's a school for everything now like that during the real estate blaze of a couple years going they set these things up for accelerated real estate school. Thanks guys. That's right. Now you can learn real estate and just do we can do that.

What can you possibly learn in two weeks at real estate school get to see these people. All right class what is this object house. That's right. So what. OK. As you're in good hands there they are bartending school down too. Now that really befuddles me now you know what is it with what does it take to be a professional bartender. I mean how can you screw up you know a guy walks into a bar. He was like that beer on your head. Hey I'm sorry I'm not a pro. You know. What are you learning. And he's got he's like hey fresh that I forgot. About those Forty-Niners. Yeah. You call the cab. Yeah. I just love the rifleman's rifles one of my favorite shows on TV that Chuck Connors with the music

that they had anything to do. I used to love that show because the theme music was everywhere. You know remember you know the theme music has to change because the orchestra was actually inside of Chuck Connors shorts every time he moved his head the music would change rapidly make you your duty to. Do it. And then Mark McMahon hypoth that he would do that. I used to watch this. Every night and I would remember this one thing used to really I never understood this. Everybody that came to town to fight Chuck Connors would be scared beyond belief. Hey that's McCain rifleman Domas. He's real good with that rifle. Folks think about this. Who isn't good with a rifle. Ten feet. Anybody that comes into town to fight Chuck Connors in the middle district has to go from here to here to

here. All right. It's tempting to take on. Those villains on the show every night of the week getting what you think after all this time somebody might tell them you know and what about you guys you know you can buy one of those rivals here in the Rose Garden. I remember the As for Brady. You know they always would advertise like Big Daddy dom goblets and a steel injected funny car you know. And I don't know what the heck these things are about. What did you get as I didn't race for something. No not something stupid like just wanting to race something serious like possession of a country you know like the Arabs versus the Israelis in a fuel injected Funny Car race. You know this satellite that the Gaza Strip the most fought over Speedway in history actually this Productions presents the greatest story ever told or this was getting pretty old knock down drag out a little mission drag race in the cradle of civilization plus 40 days and 40 went to Arabia and the medieval Golan Heights condominiums and

that lion from Zion Disraeli Gears with his second Super job right up against a crazy cloud of Cairo. Abdulla exhausted you will smile as they burn up that quarter mile around the river Nile. Hear the screeching tires the mud the glass the Packers. Special guest are Charlton Heston or Robert. What is going to watch Fox in bagels be they remember what it was they were having to say your song point or bring up. Thank you very much. Nice try. Thank you. You. Don't walk in comedy make a perfect marriage for this next comedian. He's performed the Jefferson Starship The Beach Boys Eddie Money and he's dug himself the doctor of comedy rock. Ladies and gentlemen. Doctor guy. Good evening everybody doing tonight. Real good. Good. Good. You look good.

Nice hair. I'm kidding. You guys saw in the bar the other night. I like to go to the bar. I like to drink Budweiser. People yelling Budweiser earlier. But it's great because you're going to be like 12 sheets to the wind and still order it. What you haven't. Made a tuba all go up the other morning my eyes were so red. I looked in the mirror I just threw the vising away got out the liquid paper. When I go drive in or something I never wake up in the morning and you can't remember what you did the night before. Too much partying. So what you do is you get on the phone you

call your friends up. You ever notice how eager they are to tell you what you did. Hello Bill. Oh this is gonzo what we do last night. All Gonzo. Oh yeah last night yeah we all piled into Jerry's car. We went over to jollys. You started dancing on the table in your birthday suit. Like not sure if you believe these people but like you never go back to jollys. It's nice here. Remember those old TV shows like I spy man from Uncle deal. You guys remember those old TV specials like guys by a man from Uncle. Good I know you could. This is Jose Feliciano singing some old Johnny Rivers. Do.

So. My whole life in the. Navy body on the street and every movie me it isn't. All sunshine when you're on. The trail. Seriously no seriously seriously. There's a black guy walks in this pharmacy grabs his dog by the tail start swinging him around going everything off the shelves the guy says. I hope this is no thanks.

Just look I've. Got another one. I've got another one. You know. What you call this. Did I get it. Did I get a. Rubik's cube. No. I don't know. What they call endless love. Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis. Don't tell that tomorrow. Like what do you call endless wonder. Screwed it up. I think we're going to try something different here. Pretty sure break right now. But you. See the one for the money six of all the show 9:12 love and hey I didn't go to school.

I. Don't mean a thing of it I ain't got that's why. We're going do a little swing and sing along here and get the energy of this little bit here. I know you got the lights on. It's kind of tough because I can see you. Know call and response I say a phrase and then you repeat it ok. Call and Response I say praise and then you repeat it. OK. Go. Ahead. Hi hi hi. Hi hi hi. Hi. Hi. Hi hi hi. I had a whole. Slew. Blah blah. Blah. Blah. Right.

We BBB visa like a roomful of Curley's private. Jet you are just. Like watching three hours of the three stooges before you come to a comedy show kind of gets you in good mood. Everything. What do you do for a living you. You're all dressed up. I spotted you at other get you an attorney or something. Let me ask you something real easy. What's your name. Said a beard are you like eating a muskrat. Bless you. Yeah you got a spot on your shirt. Yeah pull a joke on yourself look down pick a deaf mute in the crowd to talk to you this is great fun. Boy. What else is different. Is that

a snow skiers out there. Ever been snow skiing just wants par for the same reason I only went once. First of all I wanna say being a comedian you live a weird lifestyle you get up about two o'clock in the afternoon you have some breakfast watched a little bit of Leave It to Beaver. Do a show and that's kind of your lifestyle is a bunch of friends up to Lake Tahoe. And I had to get up at like 8:30 in the morning to take a ski lesson. OK. So I dragged my butt out of bed throw my clothes on put my skis on walked over to heavenly found out I couldn't carry those suckers over there. We tried dodging buses with skis. You don't get the ski instructor has got like this tight box orange jumpsuit on. Turn that baby daddy. I got my eyes and focus a little fraternity pin on who has a five minute dip stick. We go along great. OK.

Be honest I didn't learn an awful lot during the ski lesson and I just said hey the hell with it you know. So I'd go out and tackle the slopes by myself. Learned two very valuable lessons doing this one right up after lunch one. Take your map with you so you know where you are too. Don't smoke a big joint a tie or even try to snow ski. You start thinking things like well maybe the faster I go the easier it'll be to turn some down about a hundred eighty seven miles an hour down those advanced slope and there's a guy right in front of me. I remember asking a surgeon said to become a behind somebody yell left or right so they know where you're coming from. So I didn't have a prayer. Hello I'm Larry I'm a Libra. It's really good to be here today. Freedom to. Slow down. You're moving too fast. You got to make that cocaine last time you got it up on the cobblestone. But you found a speed. Now you're feeling

uneasy. Thank you very much. I've been. This. That. 1982 San Francisco Comedy Competition has appeared in clubs all over the USA and Canada and for him he considers comedy a personal form of therapy. In fact his comedy is a personal form of therapy for us. Ladies and gentlemen a great big hand for Mr. Jim Samual. Thank you very much. Well this is very nice. My name is Jim Samuelson. Well welcome to the boarding house. It's very exciting to be on comedy tonight. I hope you'll be hearing a lot more about me very shortly. Well a couple things I did when the San Francisco Comedy Competition this year

but also I've been doing a lot of writing lately. Jodie Foster. So pay attention it's important to me. How many people think the Hinckley trial should have been on people's court. I think we got a good election huh. Jerry Brown did not make it this year. It's too bad. But he was real he was real panicky towards the end that's why he had those ads. Remember those ads. Some guy would come on little voice in the back. So how are you going to vote for Senator. Well I was thinking about Pete Wilson. You know Pete Wilson killed your mom. You killed my mom. That's not fair. I will take a second look at Jerry Brown. Now we're glad Jerry didn't panic during his last year as governor. They didn't find any med It's the last year. He set up med fly roadblocks.

Just between you and me. I don't think the man flies were escaping my car. That's why I checked the airports. Jack in the box now has Khrushchev's. Oh. There's a dream come true. I don't know about you but when I'm in the mood for French food. You betcha I'm headed for a late box. I love the way they advertise it the same way they make croissants in France. Is that wrong. In France.

Kreiss answer made by angry 18 year old Mexicans. Well you're a good. Let's do some things together. I'd like to do things that happen on the telephone I need you folks to ring for me so when I point go ring let's do a here we go. That's why we practice. OK. Here we go. It's Steve's speech school. Day. Dr. Spence are a hormone specialist. Heart attack hotline to. The.

Gas company. Amtrak. What were you thinking. Dr. Jackson blücher specialist will you please hold one. Joan Crawford daycare center. Thank you. I love this town with a bombs like this town. Oh yeah the bombs they go off on away. But I could never have any way. To spread out. All the bumps are so stuck up here. You talk to them. I'll let me eat natural foods. Those preservatives can screw up.

The bums in this town. So earthquake conscious they are. They all live in doorways. That's right. But whenever I've been away from San Francisco and I want to get kind of in touch with the city again and get the feel of the place you know what I do. I ride the buses. That's like admitting I am a leper. You see these guys on the buses with the glasses with a lot of tape in the middle. It depends on the ball. Because people like that when I ride the bus. I play my favorite game and I ride the buses. Guess why the other passengers aren't allowed to drive cars. Too young too old.

Couldn't fit in a car and the bus driver is playing his favorite game. Make them fall. Do you get the impression bus drivers aren't the happiest people in the world. That's a job placement was done by suicide prevention. You get nervous when a bus driver turns around like this. I'm taking you all with me. You ever notice when you try and start a car it sounds like the country that it came from. Oh yeah. Ever notice a sort of Japanese car. Show at a French car

or what else a German car. Ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya. Israeli car. Oh hey oil. Some Italian car. A DeLorean car. The courier model. Is a Swedish car. Hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate. Chrysler. All right thank you very much. I.

Know whenever I get real hungry I guess I get sucked into going to a 7-Eleven store and I'm quite a bit with you. Seven-Eleven a real good value for your buck. Let's see Oliver Hershey bar and a quart of milk $47 OK. Conversation the other day we're talking about dropping the bomb and it dawned on me I remember in third grade we used to have to get under our desks in case of an air attack. If you think about a lot of good that's good to do if they drop the bomb right 200 years from now someone's going to come through and go Well what are these things stuck to these desks. Looks like gum. Is a sign all over San

Francisco. This one I don't understand just one word Bill. What sort of idiot. Who can't tell somebody driving Oh my god my car is getting high all day. How many people voted. There were certain things that you have no idea what the people do. Know you don't mean like certain titles like what does the guy on the board of equalization do. Get some lobbyist shipped to Sacramento. Scuse me I hit the water because as you tell me whatever you're a pound of feathers or a pound of nails.

I think they're pretty much equal. Thank you very much that I'll be back next week. State Controller. That's another good one. State Controller guy cop shows up on the golf course every two weeks. Excuse me is everything pretty much. Under control. Is everything OK. Going to play some golf. All right see you.