Traditions: Ohio Heritage Fellows; 302; Tonya Duran interview, part 1 of 3

Q:

TONYA: My real name is actually Marie Antoinette.

Q:

TONYA: Tonya Duran.

Q:

TONYA: Tonya Duran. T-o-n-y-a D-u-r-a-n

Q:

TONYA: Executive Director of the Belief Center

Q:

TONYA: Uh, my daughter Juanita started joining the dance group 20 years ago and, uh, she danced until she was 25 and my daughter is 31 now. And, so I’ve know Elaina for 20 years. Elaina started the group 21 years ago.

Q:

TONYA: No, actually I knew her outside the center. Um, she used to dance in another dance group before she started her own and her father Ray Soto, um, did the Mexican Dancers or the Mexican Festivals and he was a big part of that. Growing up in this area in the south end, um, I would see them, I didn’t know... I just knew they were the Soto’s so every time I see them I, I just knew they were the Soto’s. So, you know how you always have the Jones’s? They were the Soto’s. I always remember that’s how I remembered them as the Soto’s.

Q:

TONYA: Um, five years ago, uh, Mike Bell the mayor of the City of Toledo had approached me... asked me for a meeting and he, he thought I ran the dance group and so when they had the meeting I had Elaina come with me and I said, no my kids danced in the dance group. Um, Elaina is... my kid... or at that time they were dancing in the dance group for like 15 years and so and I said... he thought I ran the dance group. I said, no I’m just visible because my three kids participated for 15 years and so, um, we were like at the hip, so whenever they perform or they have practice I usually... I’m usually there because I have three kids so I am, you know. Um, Elaina and I went to the meeting and they offered this building to us. Um, and, uh, Elaina said, yes take it. Because we finally have a home, we have been practicing in parking lots, basements, alleys, uh, libraries, halls so wherever we could practice we practiced. And, so we had practice... and so it’s really nice to have our own home.

Q:

TONYA: The south side neighborhood, well in the last 20 years, uh, it has changed a lot because, um, with missing major schools like elementary, Westfield, Jones Junior High and Libby High School, uh, there is not a, a educational component that’s in the south end. We kinda like lost touch and the, uh, so now that everybody in the south end they either have to walk to Boucher or to White High School which is pretty far and a lot of them do get bused and a lot of kids are now going to charter schools because there’s no TP... there’s... any major TPS schools in the south end. And, so, um, the Belief Center is in the middle of that, uh, area and now that, uh, the kids come here and so and I check... I ask them what school they go to, you know, are they going to school? Are they getting... I check their grades and a lot of kids... well, we just come play sports. We just come to dance. I say, well okay, I’m still checking. You’re in this building, I have to check your grades and I have to check your attendance. I just want to make sure the kids get the advantage that my kids got 20 years ago because my kids had sports. My kids had dance from Elaina and so, um, a lot of it was taken away from them and it was like Elaina struggled over the 20 years or the last five years I’ve been blessed by the city of Toledo because this building made it easier for us. Now, we’re up to 64 kids in the dance group, you know, before we used to struggled with like 15 or 18. Now, that we have a home base and the kids know every Tuesday and Thursday we got practice. Every Friday the older ones got practice. They know it’s here, it’s not here at the park or here at the... here at the basement or back here in... at this persons house or at this library cause they were going from the south library to Hyatt library back to the, um, back to the park and I was like, now that it’s a home base it make us, uh, more stable, having a home. So, and Elaina does a great job with the kids. And, she teaches them, um, you know, dance, actually life skills too because when they come here we can tell like something’s wrong with her today, something’s wrong with them today, they’re not acting normal. And, so we wait tell everybody... we take them to the side and it’s like, what’s going on? Somethings going on with your family life. Elaina, I see her talking to the kids like, and I see her... I see... she brings them... when they bring them into this room by themselves I was like, okay something, something’s not right and she’s like, something’s going on at home, I could see it. They’re not practicing and they not focusing and they’re having some issues and then we try... some, some of the issues is like Elaina thought they had to quit dance because they didn’t have no shoes for the dance group. Elain’s like, oh I... we fundraise, actually yesterday we worked at the Mud Heads game for the dance group to fundraise so we could buy them shoes so can buy their dresses cause... and, so and when they don’t have gas to go to some of the events that we go to, Elaina donates money to the parents so that have gas. And, so Elaina has come a long way in the last 20 years. So, she is really... I have seen her struggle over all the years. And, now that we have a non-profit, people can donate to us, I thought it would be really easy. They don’t. We don’t... we can’t get sponsors and we can’t get grant money because we didn’t do the 990, we didn’t do an audit or we didn’t do the paperwork and we don’t have matching funds or we’re not doing outputs but now me and Elaina we’re partner more and more together. She’s helping me getting that paperwork done, getting those outputs. I can say last year in this building we had did 2,222 kids. And, out of those kids there was 64 Mexican dancers, in those same 64 Mexican dancers even though we lose some of them because they, you know, they turn 25 or 26 and they quit dancing. Her average is always been like 64 so when she lose a few she gains a few. So, her average is always 64 and, um, she does a great job with the kids. And, I seen her... we feed the dancers on Tuesday. They look forward to getting a hot meal and then sometimes like yesterday a family lost her job, went to the dancers and they asked us... Elaina for food and Elaina asked me, can I go in the pantry, food pantry and get some food? I said, yeah, go ahead, you know, cause, you know, she gives them food. So, Elaina really reaches out to these families make sure they have food, make sure that the kids know what time they’re, you know, what they’re dancing and practice. So, she does a really good job connecting with the parents, communicate... Elaina is always on me, communication, communica... communication, communication. You gotta let them... no one practice... no one schedules, changes or when the schedules are or what time they’re dancing and her boys play ba... baseball for me right now. Tonya, communication, you didn’t tell me the game was cancelled. Oh, I’m... I sorry. So, so I’m... she’s making sure that... I’ve been a coach for 25 years and running a non-profit is totally different than being... just being the coach.

Q:

TONYA: The main things, this is a... the south end area for the last... I grew up here. I’m 48. It’s always been known as the Mexican town. So, growing up, I’ve always known it as Mexican town because in the city of Toledo more than half of the Mexican population grows up in the south end. And, uh, and we’re losing the heritage, like a lot of people don’t realize I don’t speak Spanish. A lot of people say, how you not speak Spanish? And, I said, well I understand it cause my... I remember my parents speaking it but I don’t speak it cause, cause I remember growing up, my dad or the teachers would hit us, you’re not allowed to speak Spanish and so we lost that. And, so like we’re losing our traditions, we’re losing our, um, heritage and the one thing that I, I really like what Elaina does is like, when we have the Mexican dinners together, we have family days and all the families, they bring their, their dishes. It’s like... and I remember like growing up like, what happened to all the family dinners? So, if one of the rooms that we have here which is the cafeteria we don’t call it the cafeteria, we call it the Sunday room because the Sunday dinners when the families come together and they have dinners and that is like the best potlucks, homemade tamales, uh, tacos, enchiladas, carne asada and, and, uh, and, who was, um, Mexican pork chops. Never had them but they’re delicious, I had, I had Mexican pork chops. So, every... I’m learning about the tradition, like, Mexican hot chocolate, it is so good. Mexican hot chocolate. And, so it’s that Mexican bar, you melt it put milk, water, salt and pepper and cinnamon. The kids like, oh, we’re having Mexican hot chocolate today. You know the kids, you know, and I want them to know their heritage and so that’s one thing about Elaina when she has their functions here, uh, she’s bringing back culture, she’s bringing back, um, traditions, she’s bringing back, like I didn’t know there was that many states in Mexico. I’m like what? It was like, yeah, they have all different states in Mexico and they have dance performance in different states and I said, well the one I like, I don’t know what it’s called but the one with the water on the head, that’s the one I like. That’s my favorite dance. I love how they stand here and just and not drop that water and so that’s my favorite dance. And, so and I, you know, I’ve learned about the, the Mexican traditions because my mom is actually off the Indian reservations and my dad is Spaniard but his family, you know, Mexican and so it was like I didn’t... we didn’t grow up learning those traditions and then we didn’t grow up speaking Spanish and I tell these kids, it’s okay to speak Spanish. If they tell you not to it’s okay because you... that’s part of your heritage. I wish I would have learned how to speak Spanish and I don’t but I understand it, I just can’t speak it. I know a little, few words to get me buy. I say, uno memento cause I go get somebody who, who will translate for me. Usually, a couple of times when Elaina is busy I go get the kids. I say, come here, translate for me. Like, when they come and try to rent out the facility for like birthday parties or baptisms or something, I ask them to translate because I do not speak Spanish.

Q:

TONYA: I think it’s... my three kids... I’ll tell what’s important for my three kids. My three kids, uh, I have three kids that grew up the last 20 years with Elaina and when they have like Mexican dances or... it brings back pride in the kid because like and I was like be proud of your heritage because a lot of people always tell you, you know, I remember growing up, there was like, don’t speak it, don’t learn it, don’t you know, like I didn’t know how to Mexican dance, you know, I knew how to hip hop dance but I didn’t know how to Mexican dance because we did not grow up like that. And, I... and I miss... and, that’s one thing I told my kids, I told them a couple times, it was like, I was a little jealous of my... I said, because I wish I would have had more heritage cause I wouldn’t know what the kids are coming from. Like, gre... the kid’s grandparents from their dad’s side, it’s so nice like last Tuesday, I had a birthday party at, uh, and they had Mexican dance and to see them at the age of 70... she’s 79 and he’s 82, to sit there and dance and it was, it was so great. All three of my kids were there and they... the one thing I, I... when they said, look at grandma and grandpa, after all these years still dancing, still that Mexican culture and so and it’s really good that all three of my kids got up and danced with their partners, that Mexican tradition. Because, I didn’t have that growing up, you know what I mean? And, I’m like... I was sitting there like all these generations dancing last Tuesday together and it was like, it was really good to see because we don’t’ have than anymore. I said, that tradition we are losing that and that’s one thing Elaina does, she... Elaina was there too, she was dancing. I told her I was a little jealous of her. I said, Elaina you know I’m getting jealous of you. She was like... I said I can never get Mr. Torrez to dance with me but as soon as you come, you and Mr. Torrez out there cutting the rug (LAUGHING). So, Mr. Torrez, so... and, and I told him look like they’d been dancing for 50 years together. Elaina does a great job and that’s why I told Elaina when she comes to sit down, couldn’t tell that you was... had a hard time learning to dance and I said... and the way you danced today it... it just really brought back all that... every...the whole dance floor was full of dancers and it was a Tuesday night and they all came out to celebrate my birthday. I celebrated my birthday Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday and Sunday. So, every day there was a different... This is the first time ever but I was wondering why everybody was trying to come out and celebrate for my birthday. Everybody... my brothers are... everybody thought I was turning 50. I was like, no I’m not 50, I’m only 48 (LAUGHING). And, so everybody... it was like really nice how like everybody was out dancing and to see that tradition because like all my brothers and sisters none of us know how to... none of them know how to Mexican dance. And, so I’m the only one that, that does but my, my two sisters they try, do the Combia (SP?) a little bit and so, so they did get up and dance just a little bit but it was nice to see them even out there trying. And, as I said, but other... all our, like all our kids just generations are not learning how to dance and it’s... what Elaina does... even though she’s doing the Mexican dance group and when she has the Mexican dance it brings back families. The families are out there dancing because there’s not Mexican dances anymore in... I remember years ago I used to hear about Mexican dances like at the sports arena, at the Mexican festivals and I think the last Latino festival we had was two years ago, yeah, it’s been a long time. So, Elaina’s annual Laquatro (sp? Inaudible) dance is like, everybody looks forward to it. This year, this is like, we had over 300 people and everybody’s like, and then, everybody, everybody didn’t realize like this is our annual dance so everybody gets to get up and dance and it’s so good to see the little kids dancing. If you look at our page, our Facebook page, look at Elaina’s Laquatro (inaudible) page and the (inaudible) page, it shows us the kids are dancing and this year Elaina’s husband actually did the Mexican hat dance with Elaina. And, he hadn’t danced in years and I taped it and I put it on Facebook and (inaudible) is like, you can’t put it on Facebook, I don’t want... I was like, but I was proud of you guys, you guys are... after all these years... cause they danced together when they were eight years old, they had no vision that they were gonna get married, you know what I mean? Cause, and then, now that they’re married and then... they’ve been married 15 years, 15 years later and when they danced together... I said, do you guys remember, Elaina when you was eight and you did the same dance that you guys would be together all these years and have three... now they have three kids of their own. So it’s really nice.

Q:

TONYA: I think the rea... I can explain with my own kids. If my kids wasn’t in dancing they would be hanging out in the streets doing drugs. Uh, probably be pregnant by the age of 13. Because I grew up in this neighborhood, I can... a handful of people that I know, uh, that didn’t have the out... the outlet. You know, the outlet of, you know, I knew if my kids were at dance practice they’re not getting in trouble, they’re not doing drugs, they’re not getting pregnant, they’re not robbing anybody. And, I keep telling... and then that is one blessing that being a single parent, um, I knew Elaina had my kids safe and I knew that Elaina’s mom and dad always had her back, you know what I mean? So, that... and I knew like the whole dance group was, um, they protect each other and so... and, uh, I, I remember one time the ver... like Juanita was probably like 12 and her dad took her to Latino Fest in Columbus but it was her dads weekend and Juanita wasn’t dancing but I told her she couldn’t go if she wasn’t gonna dance, she couldn’t go. So, and then she realized that, cause Elaina didn’t dance that year cause they alternate very year for other Mexican dance groups. And, so Elaina didn’t dance that year and so I get a phone call, hey where you at? I’m like, what do you mean? He’s like, yeah I see Juanita down at the Latino Fest in Columbus, where are you? And I’m like, well, I’m not there. So, I called her dad, I’m like, I said, um, where’s Juanita? She’s like, oh, she’s at the Latino Fest with one of the cousins. And, I was like, but I specifically told the dad, like she is not allowed to go, it’s a punishment. I forgot she had did something like, I always... one thing I’ve known, like if you take away something that they love, which is dancing, they won’t do it again. And, so that’s like, for my kids I’ve only had to do it twice with my daughter Juanita and with my youngest son Diego. Because when they break a rule you can’t perform this week. And then, and my kids get mad at me. He goes... I said, you can’t perform because you did this wrong. And then, and the kids, what did I do? I said, that’s between us, you know what I mean? But, I, I let the kids know there’s a consequence. I said, you... this is how you live and learn in life. You... people don’t... nobody teach you no life skills, nobody teaches coping skills, nobody teach you and I, and I try not to embarrass the kids when they have like issues, I just try and... don’t make the same mistake, learn from your mistake. And, I always tell them the choices of what you make is what defines you. So, Juanita did not like getting embarrassed cause after she came back to Toledo I didn’t let her go to practice for a whole month and everybody was like... and then, she goes mom you’re gonna let me go back to dance? And, I said, yeah. But when... and then all the kids were like what did you do? I told the kids don’t ask her what she did. What you need to ask them is what mistakes are you making so you don’t make the same mistakes. Because I tell the kids, because I see the kids making mistakes sometimes and Elaina always correct them before she comes in the door. I remember one time we was at St. Peters and Paul’s Church and we had dance practice there. A couple of the kids she took outside. When you’re in this building you don’t act like that. And, that’s one thing I like about Elaina cause she stops it, she checks it right when it happens and, and, and this and one thing about the kids she teaching respect, you respect this area, you respect my time with you, you respect... we can’t be with those kids 24/7 but we know when they’re with us that they respect our time. We only practice for two hours, those two hours I need you focused on here. I don’t... I can’t deal with the outside. I can deal with the outside when dance practice is over. If you need help and I remember Elaina saying to the two boys like, if you need help, can I help you after practice? I’ll give you my time. And these two boys, let me tell you something (PAUSE) they should... they should have been in gangs, that’s how... they would have been in gangs. That’s the life they lived, this is the way they struggled, this is how their parents lived but I could tell you a 100% sure that because Elaina touched their lives, these two boys and their two sisters changed their life pattern. Now, that I see them as their older their good kids, they got jobs, they good parents and I think it... Elaina was... touched their lives at that moment their needed, they did not want to come to practice, they did not want to be in the Mexican dance group, they hated it and they act so bad at practice so Elaina could kick them out. Elaina never kicked them out and then the one thing I... cause the grandmother would always bring them and then Elaina touched their lives because the two older boys and the two girls followed and so she helped those two boys and helped the other two sisters realize that just because your parents choose this life this way you don’t... you can break the mold, you can change. And, now that I see them as their older and actually just a, like couple of months ago and she goes, Miss Tonya, Miss Tonya I got a little baby and I’m like, but, you’d... she had that little baby when she was 27 not when she was 13. So, since Elaina touched her life when she was 13 she had a baby when she was 26 after she finished school, after she got married. And, so that tradition of like, living life skills, coping skills, like, a couple of times Elaina was gonna give up on those two boys because they test her and she hung in there with them and because she did she changed those kids’ lives. I know she did.

Q:

TONYA: I remember when I go by the room and I see her like doing the same steps over and over and over trying to teach these kids and it was like, she’s gotta have some patience because some of these kids are not coordinated and then, it’s like, but I think she can cope with them because she was never coordinated. She had to learn. So, I think she... her patience is really well because I’m thinking I did cheerleading and I had to teach them a halftime routine for two minutes, you’re teaching them 30 dances. I’m doing a halftime routine for two minutes with 18 girls. That stressed me out. I said, just you know, doing the routines over and over again but her patience is a saint because I’m like, I always had like an instructor like, okay, you gotta help me out because these... because these kids are you know, I don’t have that patience. I give up too quickly and it’s like, you gotta help me out because if you show the same moves all the time you would think they would get it after like the tenth or the twentieth time. Every time, it’s like, she’s still practicing the same moves but, but I see them from a year ago to now when I go by , I was like they got it. And, now she’s tweaking it to make sure they have that perfect step, that perfect, in that perfect dress move. So, now, now... before that stepping was the hardest part, now she’s going into details. Go like this at the same time, how like, one, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, you know and I’m like, now she’s doing the little details. The kids look like they’ve been doing it for years but actually they only been doing it for like about a month because I’ve seen the girls and the boys from a year ago, like the ones that been with the... like some of the kids that been with us for the last three years, they have come a long way. And, the cutest thing that I seen is like even though they’re only eight or nine and the other new kids are like five and six, I hear the boys in the, in the hallway, Elaina had them go out, can you go show them these steps so she could show these other kids. And, I’m walking in the hallway... now the nine year olds like, let me show you the correct way, I’m you’re teacher right now. I’m like, no you’re not you’re only nine (LAUGHING), but he was showing them the steps and I’m like, oh that is so cute. Now, the kids are becoming the teachers (MUSIC IN BACKGROUND) to show them the right way to do it.