Women's Weekend; Wives of Prisoners

Pain is uh, it's a strain. Trying to keep them informed, first of all. And, uh, like I say, uh, you wanna make him part of the family every day but there's no way-- no-- and, uh, you never, you never make that adjustment, it just can't be done. Some of the practical problems, uh, let's uh, and people that are listening may not know about visiting, for instance, uh, the rules about visiting. You wanna talk about that a little bit? Well, you're allowed six visits a month or six hours if you visit during the week. If you visit on weekends, then you get four visits a month. The visits are the visiting room leaves a lot to be desired.

Pretty grim, pretty crowded. Um, the children go down and, um, they're so struck at first when they first start visiting about everything that's going on, they're um, they're totally lost. Um, it just be something that can be done so you can at least sit and talk about a private matter without having someone looking over your shoulder, or uh, falling over your feet. [agrees] You know, uh, someone once told me that when they have gone to visit their husbands that they've been strip searched. I have been lucky so far. I have never been strip searched. I have seen one of them pulled out of the line to pulled out of the line to be strip searched and their children. unless, you know, you're positive, because, uh, that's dumb luck. child, I would never allow one of mine to be strip searched. I have, my husband

and I have talked it over, if this was ever to occur, my children would turn around and walk out. [agrees] There is no way I would put a child through that. Seems to me that would really discourage visits, too, if you knew that that was likely to happen. I know one women that that happens to regularly and that just really discourages her from visiting. Well, uh, my personal views is it wouldn't discourage my visit [agrees] personally, like I said, I wouldn't allow my children to be strip searched. It wouldn't bother my visits because I'm gonna be there. [agrees] But I can understand where when it's done repeatedly to a person, the effect that it would have on them. But, uh, after a while, you just, you don't let yourself think about those things. [agrees] There's a lot of things you don't let yourself think about. I imagine, you'd about have to to keep going. Let's, uh, invite anyone who's listening that might have a family member in prison, if they

would like to, uh, call up and we can put them on the air and they might have some experiences they'd like to share or some thoughts about all this. The phone number here is 874- 5-5676... 874-5676, and if you have a family member, uh, who's in prison and you'd like to share some of your experiences, please do. and we'll just put you on the air and you can join right in on the conversation We'd be glad to have you, especially since one of our guests I don't think is going to make it up this morning. We'll have to do this again. do this again. Okay. We were talking about, uh, starting, um, the possibility starting, uh, the possibility of starting a support group for women who are married to, uh, men in prison Do you think that that would be a useful thing? I don't know why I'd have out here and it's gonna help in there. [agrees] I don't, I really don't know why it hasn't already been done. I'm for it. Well, I think we should invite anyone who's listening who might be interested in that if you'll call up and give us your name and phone number, maybe we could organize a first meeting, um, of

women who are married to men in prison, and there are so many problems that you have in common, everything from, uh, well transportation is one thing. transportation's one thing. That's a big problem. Um, Cadillacs. Really, cause that'd be a sight. Right. Uh, I'd settle for a Volkswagen right now, uh, you know if the women in a town could get together and share the expenses of, well, whatever going down and back, it'd take a burden off of all of us, and I'm sure that a lot of women would get down more often. Really? Yeah, I know one woman called me, I think it was last Friday afternoon Friday afternoon very upset she had hitchhiked to Jeff City in the rain with her three see her husband and was not permitted to go in to visit for some reason which she was given no reason, and had hitchhiked back in the rain, and I just thought, you know, that's just so outrageous and, uh, you know, at least if there was some

kind of a support group, you know. you could maybe carpool and you would have somebody to go to with that kind of situation, uh, to talk to about it. Maybe to take some kind of action. If there was a large enough group you could really have some clout, I think. Right, Right, whenever there's more than one person and they start speaking, somebody's gonna listen. Whereas if you're by yourself, they can sort of ignoring you. Right, if there is just one person they can sort of just push you to the side I know I hear whenever I talk to someone who has a family member in prison, so many of the problems are the same-- problems with mail, problems with vising-- and I feel like if a group like they got together they would find that there were all having really similar experiences, and they might try to do something about it together. That's right. I'll give the phone number again: 874-5676 One thing that some of the listeners might not be aware of is that a lot of women move to this are because most of the prisons are in this area

within maybe a hundred mile radius of Columbia we have about six-seven prisons, and most of the people in prison come from the Kansas City or St. Louis area, so you have women that will move to this area to be near their husbands you probably run into a lot of that. I've met several. That's of course a real burden in itself, the expense of moving and just dislocating the children from their school and whatnot away from your friends your support group in your own community. Right. Um, I, myself did not have to move since I already lived in the area uh but I-I know what it could do to the family, not only the shock situation occurring first place, but having to move, relocate relocate, uh, make new friends, uh it would be very difficult. I'd also like to say if, you know, anybody needs a ride to Jeff from the Columbia area, or anywhere in between, that they're give Emmy a call, she'll get a hold of me

and I'll contact you. It doesn't take any more gas for me to go down there myself than it does with a car full. Again, our phone number is 874-56 76 if anyone wants to take us up on that, or is interested in a support group, for women who are married to men in prison we should be glad to hear from you. I don't think we've got any calls yet, so, let's see, what else did I want to ask you? Um, turn my page here. What about worrying about your husband, uh, husband uh and what's happening with him on the inside. There's not a whole lot you can do uh. Uh, there's a lot that you can do if you know the situation. If you know what's happening. Like I said, Uh like i say, communications is terrible. Mhm. Uh, if you're gonna call and save your dime because you're not going to find out anything. The only way you're gonna

The only way you're going to find out is to do down there and talk to your mans. Because uh if you do get a hold of someone down there, 9 times out out of 10 they are gonna tell you what they want to hear, and you won't know anymore I know it was, um, recently when they- when they were the, um, terrible there were the terrible violence that broke out in New Mexico at the state prison there, and the there. And uh, one thing that I remember so vividly on the television accounts is uh of people who were on the inside. There were hundreds of family members! Hundreds and hundreds members, hundreds and hundreds who came to the gates there of the prison and all they could do for days, was stand out there trying to find out something about the condition of their love ones in the prison, and they weren't getting any information. The names and they would ask, you know, how is so-and-so doing and they wouldn't be able to find anything out and it made me think about how numbers of people, uh, have their family members of people in prison and what a powerful group they could be

if all those people got together, because for one prisoner you have anywhere from 1 to 10 people on the outside that are concerned about that person, and see all those people outside its gates New Mexico made me think that maybe we ought to have people the outside gates more often That's right. Because information is hard to come by, and there is a lot of violence on the inside. Yes there is. Uh Like I said, as far as a I don't know why there hasn't already been one, because, like you said, like you say, for every one in there, there's 1 to 10 out here. You add us all up, We could be strong. I think so. We'll, we're running out of time, but I want to thank you out, and say again, our phone number is 874-5676. If you'd like to go on the air If you would like to go on the air with them an experience of yours with someone in prison you care about or if you are interested in the support group for women who are married to prisoners, Or if you're looking for a ride to Jeff City to visit anybody, call us up at 874 5676. Uh, Linda, is there anything else you wanted to say before we break here?

Uh yeah I'll say hi to my man, he knows who I am- right- uh and also Ladies, you know, let's get it together. There's a lot we can do if we get it together. Alright, thanks a lot for coming up. Okay We'll take a little music break here and coming up next, The Working Girl Blues, stay tuned [silence]