Le Show; 1998-01-11; 1998-01-18; 1998-01-25

Transcript

Thanks, consult your celestial subscriber letter, sweepstakes rules, red daily. Just outside Pasadena, some of the country's brightest physicians and scientists are helping conquer cancer at the City of Hope Cancer Center. As one of the best in the nation for leukemia, breast, lung, and childhood cancers, they conduct breakthrough research to set new standards for treatment. The City of Hope is only one of fifteen in the country belonging to the prestigious National Comprehensive Cancer Network. For more information, call 1-800-826-HOPE. City of Hope is a nonprofit organization. Who isn't? Ladies and gentlemen, in twenty seconds, it will be ten a.m. That's specific standard time. Of course, the next news here on KCRW will be at five, with all things considered from National Public Radio, but at ten a.m., stay tuned for a show. With your genial host, me, yours truly, I'll be me, shortly. Wow, what a thrill to be back in the original Lishodum after all these weeks on the road

in the portable Lishodum, which, as I pointed out, in the shadow of the superdum, what a weird thing to walk out every week and see this huge superdum, superdum, superdum, glowering above one. There's literally, it looks like, just, it looks like the saucers have landed. And unfortunately, there's a bad football team inside. But you know, all of life forms in the universe, bad football teams account for, I guess, 90% of them. That's the dark matter that we can't see. Anyway, back to the permanent Lishodum here in Southern California, once this broadcast normally originates, and instead of a big dome next door, there's a big hole. There's a big hole next door. I don't know what's going into it, but I do know that it's serious business because there's a big tub of Zepp sitting next to it, and you don't have a big tub of Zepp. I don't know what Zepp is, but it looks serious.

It looks like the sort of stuff you have when you're doing a serious hole and doing something serious in it. Big tub of Zepp. And if you want some Zepp, don't come here. This is our Zepp. Go get your own Zepp. Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, in Southern California, of course, so many of the cynics and the skeptics and the whysenheimers have been yuckin' it up and yuckin' it up about El Nino. Well, ladies and gentlemen, I'm here to say El Nino is for real. I drove through Texas. I saw the face of El Nino. Okay, in Southern California, it thinks it rained here in the last few days or weeks. Just get your Heine to Texas, get your Heine on Route 10 just outside Houston, and wait for it to rain. Wait for the special effects department to just dump all the water in the world on you in about 10 seconds, then you come talking to me, all right? Just a couple of notes from the road, and then we move along here.

But you may be among those who is subjected from time to time to the publicity blitz surrounding Sheriff Joe Arpio, the sheriff of Maricopa County that surrounds and includes Phoenix. Now I talked about this a few weeks ago, that this was the sheriff who was auctioning off spare AK-47s to raise money. As he said, you know, cops are in danger from all sorts of guns, so why not sell AK-47? This week, he continued his own personal publicity blitz. I believe this would be the first time I've ever heard of it. Guy called a news conference, got his wife there to stand beside him to announce that he wasn't running for governor of his state. It was just going to run for Sheriff one more time. So, gentlemen, I've called you here to tell you that I'm not going to do the thing that none of you thought I was doing until I started the rumor that I was going to do it.

Thank you for coming. I will take no questions. We, of course, now must, in the wake of recent events, we all must be a lot more careful ladies and gentlemen, because obviously there are killer trees out there waiting for all of us. I want to pay my respects to the late Sonny Bono today by remembering, well, Eleanor Cliff, on the McLaughlin group, said, when asked, what would be Sonny Bono's legacy? She said his legacy will be his music. Along that line, I want to remember my favorite Sonny Bono penned couplet, came out during the Vietnam War, it's from the song The Beat Goes On. Quote, boys keep on a marchin' off to war, electrically, they keep a baseball score. And Quote, hello, welcome to the show.

You could be the fuck is one in time You could be the fuck is one in time You could be the fuck is one in time You could be the fuck is one in time

You could be the fuck is one in time You could be the fuck is one in time You could be the fuck is one in time

You could be the fuck is one in time Every one of the nation's television stations is being lent a second channel to be used for digital broadcasting Most of them are in the UHF band channels 14-69 Fox 5 in New York is to become Fox 44

CBS's flagship station news 2 in New York will become news 56 Hardly as Malif Lewis a brand eventually sometime in the next decade the original stations 2 and 5 will be taken off the air Leaving only the digital channels and those inharmonious UHF brands Says Art Allison the Technology Officer with the National Association of Broadcasters branding is a serious concern And Bernard Leckner a longtime television engineer observed for a channel 5 live at 5 on 39 just doesn't sound very good As a result the television industry has approved a technological fix to this problem that will enable TV stations to keep their channel brands even after they have moved to different channel numbers Using this new electronic tool viewers tuning their digital televisions to WCBS's original channel 2 will move to the new channel 56 without even knowing it That's a relief for television stations but solving this

Problem could make channels surfing quite a bit more complicated He could also render newspaper and magazine television listings so complex they might begin to resemble the internal circuitry diagrams for the new digital TVs Says the engineer Mr. Leckner we have more than just channel numbers to deal with there can be more than one program on these digital channels That's right if they don't do HDTV there can be up to six programs so why would they do HDTV? That was me inserting that now back to Mr. Leckner so we want to be sure consumers can pick their programs easily Mr. Leckner is head of an industry committee that produced the engineering solution to this formula to this dilemma An electronic program guide that will be transmitted along with each channel's programming Viewers tuning to say Channel 5 in New York will choose between the old Fox 5, the new Fox 44 or at certain times of the day Fox 44A, 44B, 44C or 44D Meanwhile the TV station will be trying to ensure that viewers think of all these programs under the brand name Fox 5

Animation is on screen menus viewers tuning to Channel 5 will not see the program right away Imagine that fans of instant gratification instead they will see a small program grid similar to those in a newspaper TV listing But this will list only the various programs being broadcast from that one station The old analog channel, the new digital channel and the several program streams showing on that digital channel To leave the program grid a viewer must choose which of the stations shows he wants to watch If he chooses one of the digital programs the television will switch to that without any notice that he's actually watching Channel 44 Each channel's on screen guide will carry listings for the following 12 hours Viewers who want to go directly to a show without going through the program guide will have to punch three or four digits into the remote control

The original channel number then a symbol probably a dash and then the sub channel number Finding those channel numbers and printed TV listings could grow to be devilishly complicated This is a paradigm shift for our industry says Mr. Allison we're trying to make it as easy for people as we can Okay guys let me just throw one more thing into the mix while you're got your thinking caps on What about VCRs? Thank you very much. Can I drive safely, won't you? All the future sounds so good doesn't it when I read the trades for you copyrighted feature of this program? This is such a stormy love affair

The kind of romance they'd like to write them books about falling in and out of love a channel push a little shut That's just the way we do when the lights go out It doesn't really matter darling I'm in a time to disagree I ain't the time for holding out or holding back you know you always get the best of me Staying nights, you and me in a whirlwind Hit the top, might lead to who knows where I don't care

The sparks just fly between you and I we never need no reason why darling you get the best of me Yeah you do, ain't nobody can stir me up like you do But you really like a fighter name Won't shake and hurt, wake and feel like it must be voodoo

To me Yeah you do, ain't nobody can stir me up It doesn't really matter darling I'm in a time to disagree I ain't the time for holding out or holding back you know you always get the best of me

I finally met my match really a boy and a new one that's you and me I really wouldn't want it any other way you know you always get the best of me All right CD machine number two will be allowed to live Ladies and gentlemen we know that journalists are always very quick to denounce the revolving door the system in Washington whereby one day somebody may be an official of the federal government And the next day may be working for the private company that is lobbying the official who took his old job and journalists are always quick to denounce that Less quick to denounce it when it happens to one of their own as it did this week when David Brinkley succeeded his retirement from ABC News last November with a choice of a new job

Being a spokesman for Archer Daniels Midland the company that pleaded guilty recently to a hundred million dollar price fixing deal But was a frequent advertiser on the Brinkley show when it was the Brinkley show before he retired to become the spokesman for Archer Daniels Midland Now you know it's he's a pal of the guy runs the company the guy runs a company helped him get a cut rate condo in Florida Yeta Yeta but still you have Sam Donaldson and other current members of the ABC News family currently languishing in number three position in the prime time evening news saying oh weird it's so Holier than Dow to criticize David Brinkley for doing this of course Sam and Koki in the rest make a lot of money giving speeches to the same groups that they can't be spokesman for until after they retire from their news jobs And anyway it's sure it's Koki and would see it seemingly seemingly not consistent not logically consistent internally

But meantime the subject of all the controversy is I believe in a studio this week taping his next move Hello I'm David Brinkley for years since television started I've enjoyed a reputation for talking to you straight and true For the first half century it was in news then earlier this year I became a commercial spokesman for an ethically troubled anger business giant Today I'm proud to be taking the next step I'll still be talking straight and true to you But this time is a partner in a gambling and prostitution empire based in Elco no Venet with tentacles reaching into all 50 states and Guam And don't get me wrong as a partner I don't indulge in the company's product I'm a bad gambler and an even worse companion for hookers

Nor do I have a say in policy decisions but I am a very well-paid spokesman speaking out on behalf of an industry that rarely speaks up for itself In the months to come I'll be talking to you about the increasing ability of the gambling and political communities to come together in a spirit of dialogue for mutual benefit The old David Brinkley might have said I was trying to sugarcoat corruption but sugarcoating is what our businesses do best After all most gamblers lose and an hour ends very quickly yet when you walk into one of our casinos or brothels That's probably the last thing you've got on your mind I'll be telling you about our company's efforts to fund the research that can give us more insight into compulsive gambling and sex addiction The one thing I won't be telling you is our company's name

That's for your protection as well as ours There will be critics who charge that I'm trading on my hard-won credibility for personal enrichment and the advancement of questionable enterprises To that all I can say is unlike some of my erstwhile colleagues in journalism I'm not helping to sell cigarettes or booze Buying yes but not selling Until next time this is David Brinkley reminding you in a variant of the old saying about politics That risk-taking may be too important to be left to the athletes. We'll see you on the next of our little messages Thank you That I've got far too I would surely surely lose your love because your love must better than any love I know

That I've got far too I would surely surely lose your love because your love must better than any love I know That I've got far too I would surely surely lose your love because your love must better than any love I know That I've got far too I would surely surely lose your love because your love must better than any love I know

That I've got far too I would surely surely lose your love because your love must better than any love I know Ladies and gentlemen, back to the guy that David Brinkley just a year ago was saying was a bore. Remember that? Bill Clinton, he is rushed to announce a number of policy initiatives this week, fresh back from Renaissance Weekend, you know, that thing that he does every year over New Year's where he either does a lot of thinking or plays a lot of golf, hard to tell which. This year attended by the usual crew and a new addition just two years ago, Arianna Huffington was helping to organize a sort of half-parody right wing answer to Renaissance Weekend called Dark Ages Weekend.

This year, Arianna Huffington was at Renaissance Weekend. I'm just reporting it. Also news at the White House, of course, the return of Sam Donaldson to the ABC News White House corresponded. Many people believe this is an attempt by the third place evening news currently fronted by Peter Jennings to get more juice. I said juice into the broadcast by getting that old style attack dog of Sam Donaldson at the White House instead of the newer style smoother John Donovan, a Canadian. So that begins tomorrow. They'll be at the White House with Sam, first thing in the morning, a good morning America in case you want to set your alarm or change your electric power supplier. And the other big news at the White House is coming up this week Bill Clinton will be giving a deposition in the Paula Jones lawsuit against him supposedly at the White House, supposedly videotaped, supposedly with Miss Jones herself as well as her lawyer in attendance.

As it does sound like another episode of Clinton something next on the show. Then what did she say? Well, she said Mr. President, I would call that over effective compassion. Then what did you do? I stopped trying to kiss her. Who ever thought when we started going to Renaissance Weekend that you'd end up trying to kiss Ariana Huffington there?

Well, just to put the fear of God into it. Well, why ever? So what was your highlight? Aside from the all girls touch football game, I'd say the tort reform seminar. I mean, there's show it's maybe a jerk, but he's a brilliant jerk. Okay, Hill, why'd you take a brawl? I was going to, but why would... Because I want to do this. Hey, is there a camera around? Oh, come on, honey. That's not the only reason I dance with you and say, John's. I think since Chelsea has left the nest, you've stopped being a mother and started being a woman again. Really? What specifically makes you... Thank you, Mr. President. Hey, hey, you camera guys. Get away from this window. Can you imagine? I'm sorry.

That's okay, I'll put my Renaissance Weekend robots getting a little cold anyway. So look, more to the point. Did anybody at Renaissance Weekend say anything to you about... You know? Post-Presidential prospects. Someday, one of us is going to have to repay somebody's legal fees. Which mainly you're due to somebody's laxness in the billing department of her law firm. And to somebody else's laxness and the keeping the trousers that department of his own firm? To answer your question, no. Gaffa never showed up on the golf course. So, it's still kind of just in the idea phase. But you know, huh? Running a studio is a damn side better way to be an ex-president than just renting yourself out to dinners like Jerry Ford does. You know, he charged $5,000 to go to Sonny Bono's funeral. Get out of here.

Cut his usual fee in half. Who told you that? Mr. President, your 815 is waiting in the waiting area. Oh, great. Thanks. See you in a minute, hon. Sam Donaldson is stopping by to say hello his first day back on the beach. I'll tell him I said nice hair. I will not. Mr. President, I'm guard. How you doing, Sam? How's the sheep ranching business down on where is it in New Mexico? Sir, well briefed as usual, I say. It's doing fine. Well, we do miss that tax break that the Congress repealed last year. I'm sure you wouldn't want me to do anything about it, though, would you? Well, that's not trying to entice me into an ethical trap until at least my second day on the job, sir. Sam. Sam, you couldn't be enticed into an ethical trap with a satchel full of gold. You're just too tough as son of a bitch for that. Thank you, sir.

Well, I mean, that's why ABC put you back here. I mean, John Donovan's a nice guy, but... But he's a nice guy. And to miss, quote, the late Leo de Rocher, nice guys don't get ratings. Look here, Sam. I saw you yelling at Ronald Reagan for eight years. I just want to warn you that even though I do wear a hearing aid now, you don't have to yell your questions in the, okay? Yes, sir. I think that one of the perks of coming back to the beat is I may get to station myself a little farther away from the helicopter. Yeah. Rank has its privileges, eh? As ever. Well, Sam, good luck to you. I'm sure you won't have trouble finding somebody on my staff who want a leak to you. Yeah, sir. I'm here to do my own reporting, not just another pretty face to be leaked to. I know that. Now, if, on the other hand, you could tell your good and loyal friends Susan McDougall to give me an exclusive interview sometime during February, I'm sure my boss, Mr. Arledge, would be eternally grateful.

Well, consider the pitch made. And cut. Let me tell you, Sam. Susan makes her own mind up about almost everything. Oh, I'm sure. Well, sir, I do appreciate this opportunity, and if I could take off my journalism hat just for a moment, please, let me ask you to take a close look at the proposed tobacco settlement. It's good for all of us. Sam, are you flacking for Philip Morris on the side? No, no, sir. Sam Donaldson is not for sale to Philip Morris. Excuse me, Mr. President. But he is for rent to RJ Reynolds. Yeah. Do you want to come look at the shot for the deposition camera? Yeah, just a second. Sam, if I keep you any longer, I'll fall behind my normal half-hour lateness. Good to see you. Well, the pleasure was all mine, Mr. President. That's for sure. Okay, Jane, is it?

Yes, sir. You'll sit here. Nice warm light on you. Her turnie sits here. Very subtle blue wash to cool it down on him. Okay, and where's she? Out of the light. You know what, Jane? What's that, sir? Put her in the warm light, too. Really? Mm-hmm. If we're lucky, she'll smile at one point. And the light will glint off her braces. I don't want to lose that. You got it, Mr. President. Great. Even if I don't end up running a studio, I could always direct. Use the length and middle-aged power. Together, they add up to...

It's in something. Well, ladies and gentlemen, I'm...

I'm going to spend this week trying to, I guess, what I really should be spending the week doing is trying to get a job as a commercial spokesman for Bell South. As I think I've earned it, and I think it's the least I can do to shut me up. That will really occupy my time for the next six days and change, so I'll meet you back here next week at the same time over these same stations, ones that care enough to broadcast this show instead of another repeat of cart talk. In Europe, on America 1, in Japan, on your cable, around the world, for the worldwide facilities of the United States Armed Forces Radio and Television Service, and on your

computer whenever you want it at www.HarryShirer.com, where you'll also find playlists for the music that the machines sometimes agree to play on this broadcast, and if you did a duel any or all of that, it'd be just like, possum coming to visit your house. Would you? All righty, thank you very much, huh? All righty, thank you very much. The show comes to you from Century of Progress Productions and originates through the facilities

of SAS, a satellite service of KCRW's Santa Monica, a community recognized around the world as the home of the homeless and the city of possums. Stay away from our Zepp. Now stay tuned for yet another airing of cart talk. This is KCRW Santa Monica 89.9 KCRY Indio Palm Springs at 89.3 and KCRU Oxnard Ventura at 89.1FM KCRW is a community service of Santa Monica College, National Public Radio, for more of Southern California.

Yes Virginia, KCRW subscribers really do win sweepstakes. Marjorie Cancer at the City of Hope Cancer Center. As one of the best in the nation for leukemia, breast, lung, and childhood cancers, they conduct breakthrough research to set new standards for treatment. City of Hope is only one of 15 in the country belonging to the prestigious National Comprehensive Cancer Network. For more information, call 1-800-826-HOPE. City of Hope is a nonprofit organization. So am I, but that wasn't the original idea, ladies and gentlemen. In 15 seconds, it will be 10AM Pacific Standard Time, and that is the appointed hour for the broadcast known locally and globally as Lucho, ain't it? Well, this week, those of us who always root against the top dog had some reason to cheer, ladies and gentlemen, because NBC, the network that has grown fat and happy and arrogant through the few years that it's been on top, found itself losing both the

Seinfeld show, the top rated show and television, at the moment. Of course, the Simpsons is number 10, so you never know. And NFL football in a ferocious bidding war that was the second act to the ferocious bidding war for NFL rights that was triggered four years ago when Rupert Murdoch decided, hey, I like some football on my net, what? CBS, which had been, see, there's four networks now and only three NFL packages for television networks. It's an idea the NFL came up with based on an old children's game, I think, with chairs and music. Because if there were four packages, everybody gets them and then nobody be desperate enough to bid $500 million, do you know the most expensive television programming now is not just football, not just NFL professional football here in the United States.

But the package of Sunday night games on ESPN, cable, they paid, the Disney company paid more for that than they paid to keep Monday night football on ABC, which is a broadcast network. Last time I looked, although these things change, that's right, cable rights for football games were more expensive than broadcast rights because Disney was so desperate to have both the Sunday night and the Monday night games. Meanwhile CBS got back into football by paying $400 million a year, I mean, insane figures, just because as every network executive who was interviewed on this subject said, well, it's the only sure thing. It's the only sure way to get a lot of young men watching. And you know, we got to sell them to the car companies and the beer companies. What are you going to do? It's the only sure thing in this rapidly changing media landscape. So ESPN's owners, the Disney people, the mouse, paid $600 million a year to broadcast games

on cable. And immediately afterward, the head of ESPN said, well, we're going to be raising our rates. How are these networks going to pay for the, or recoup the incredible sums they've just agreed to fork over? Well, either they're going to raise the cost of advertising on football games, or they're going to put more commercials in the football games, or in the case of ESPN, they're going to raise their rates to local cable systems. Now ladies and gentlemen, what are the local cable systems going to do when ESPN says, you're going to pay $0.50 a subscriber more per month for ESPN, bub. Well, they're going to do one of two things. They're going to absorb the cost increase because they're nice people, or they're going to pass it on to you.

So those of us cable customers who never watch a football game are going to find ourselves subsidizing the new infusion of cash into the NFL. And probably being asked to build some more stadiums, attack spares expense too while we're at it. But hey, you know, it's a sure thing. It's worth it. Anything is worth it. For a sure thing. Hello, welcome to the show. I don't want to leave you lonely, but you've got to make me change my mind. You know that I call you too many times, you can call me, baby, you can call me in

a time. You got to call me, get to call me. Give me one minute, stay here, and I'll turn my back. And I turn right back Because I don't wanna leave you lonely It's gotta make me change I don't want no one to squeeze me

They might take away my life, yeah I don't want no one to squeeze me They might take away my life I just want someone to hold me and rock me through life This old youth far out of love And give you what you need I don't want no one to squeeze me This old youth far out of love And give you what you need But I'm too old to go shitty With my precious energy I don't want no one to squeeze me I don't want no one to squeeze me

I don't want no one to squeeze me I don't want no one to squeeze me Give me one me to stay here And I turn right back home Give me one me to stay here And I turn right back home I don't wanna leave you lonely But you gotta make me change my mind They will just give me a beating Give me a beating life

They will just give me a beating Because I told you that I love you And don't move to save First of all, when the atmosphere is less than perfect You sense the pain and ease of shaking by the slightest deepen You leave your life that could come near you in a corner You get so dizzy but walking in a straggler You see you want to spend no winter in front of Your soul crates and ketchup don't serve influence You leave your life that could come near you in a corner

You get so dizzy but walking in a straggler You see you want to spend no winter in front of Your soul crates and ketchup don't serve influence You leave your life that could come near you in a corner You get so dizzy but walking in a straggler You see you want to spend no winter in front of Your soul crates and ketchup don't serve Now I'm telling you that you suffer from delusion You pay your endless duties to say conclusions You leave your life that could come near you in a corner You get so dizzy but walking in a straggler You get so dizzy but walking in a straggler You get so dizzy but walking in a straggler You get so dizzy but walking in a straggler You get so dizzy but walking in a straggler You get so dizzy but walking in a straggler You get so dizzy but walking in a straggler First to fall over when the atmosphere is less than perfect, you sense the villain is unshaken by the slightest defeat, you leave your life like a canary in a coal mine, you

get some deceiver, fucking illustrate life, an area in a coal mine, an area in a coal mine. An area in a coal mine, an area in a coal mine, an area in a coal mine. the song is and dead but the melody lingers on you and the song are gone but the melody lingers on the night was splendid and the melody seemed to say summer will pass away

take your happiness while you may there need the light of the moon we sang a love song with that in debt to soon the moon descended and I found with the break of dawn you and the song had gone but the melody lingers on the melody lingers on you and the song are gone but the melody lingers on the melody seemed to say summer will pass away take your happiness while you may there need the

light of the moon we sang a love song of that in debt it ended to soon the moon we sang a love song of that in debt to soon the moon descended and I found with the break of dawn you and the song had gone but the melody lingers on but the melody lingers on from the edge of America from just west of Los Angeles ladies and gentlemen this is

the show I'm Harry Shire your genial host Los Angeles of course is the the city where that no sign of El Nino this thing is such a scam lovely here this week with one day of rain and it was just like the gentlest it was like Ireland just just to suggest just a hint of rain just as as much rain as well no there's no there's no compete just a tiny El Nino thing is such a crock anyway from here welcome this is the community where this week our I believe our subway construction program ground to a halt I don't know the final death toll on this subway program I've killed a few people but it was all worth it to build some a subway that will eventually go nowhere just like the the first LA subway you I don't know if you know this city had a subway that

well it led from downtown Los Angeles and the tunnel construction began unfortunately early in 1929 and some things happened you know some money ran out and tunnel became for years just a derelict playground for gangs and now we've spent what six billion dollars building a a three or four mile extension so that the because the gangs needed more room you know they've been recruiting so so energetically they just those old that old tunnel just wasn't big enough anymore hey speaking of not big enough Henry Winkler who co-stars and thing and Winkler's wife Stacy have sold their beller home for six point three million dollars sources say the buyer is said to be a Los Angeles bitton man bitton man who bought the house as a wedding gift for one of his daughters hey that's some bitton Winkler gained fame as the lovable fonsey or the fonz

he and singer songwriter David Capri wrote happy days the musical I'm sorry that wasn't what happened there something came out the Winkler's purchased their beller home in the fall of 1993 from producer Lee Rich well named built in 1934 the country English style home with four bedrooms over 9,000 square feet was extensively remodeled by the Winkler shortly after they purchased it about the same time that they bought the beller home the Winkler stole their to look alike home of 15 years to Andy Garcia and his wife Marie V the Winklers are looking for a smaller home sources say I'm sorry I didn't mean to cut you off there sources say lady says okay she's not on mic just like being on Saturday Night Live you can't add live here babe rock star Ozzy Osborne the lead vocalist with black Sabbath in the 1970s who went into a solo

career in the 80s has purchased a Beverly Hills home for about 3.5 million dollars sources say Osborne 49 and native of Birmingham England had been living at a Beverly Hills hotel just before buying the house before he moved into the hotel he at least actor Don Johnson's Beverly Hills area home sources say could he trash any of them the sources do not say the rock singer bought a recently built 9,000 square foot estate behind gates there's a main house with four bedrooms and maids quarters plus a two-story guest house with two bedrooms the home also has a pool a big backyard and a chicken head eating area that doesn't say that why would it say that okay chicken head eating area ladies and gentlemen for Ozzy Osborne you see last week we talked about David Brinkley becoming a spokesperson the spokesperson model for the archer Daniels midland corporation and airing commercials fronted by Brinkley

in the middle of the the Sunday morning television program that used to be this week with David Brinkley and and to sort of underline the change in role the ABC had Koki Roberts congratulate David Brinkley on his new new job as a paid shill congratulations on selling out date well the the storm that ensued was at least in media circles so intense that ABC announced this week that they will no longer be airing those commercials nor will NBC which had nothing to do they were just interesting bystanders splattered by the mud so archer Daniels midland is paid David Brinkley a bunch of money to do commercials that apparently can't air anywhere I'm CNN okay they can air and CNN that's that's not nowhere but it's this close meanwhile while that got all the attention as an example of the revolving door in journalism you know leave your journalism

career and take up as spokesman for one of the chief sponsors of your previous program this got almost no attention at all because it's so much business been that usual former Republican presidential nominee Bob Dole has registered to work as a foreign agent to help Taiwan improve its relations with congress and the administration democratic critics say the arrangement violates the terms of Dole's loan arrangement with Newt Gingrich remember Gingrich loaned him the Dole lent Gingrich $300,000 to pay off his ethics penalty and Gingrich said he would replace that arrangement with a bank loan if Dole ever became a registered lobbyist this is the first time the former Senate majority leader has registered as a foreign agent Dole's law firm says his work for Taiwan would not jeopardize the loan arrangement because Dole would not actually lobby

on Taiwan's behalf rather says partner in the law firm Dole would provide strategic advice and counseling yeah I think not a mood Taiwan farther away from China yeah away from China it's what Bob Dole think there's my advice strategic advice to Taiwan Dole's law firm filed an amended statement making clear he would not engage in any lobbying Taiwan already has a large stable it's the Washington Post's word of lobbyists in Washington decided to hire Dole in his firm after Dole made a trip there last May Dole had been very reluctant to register as a foreign agent you know what I don't blame him it's bad bad karma but you know as I say very little attention to that because it is been a new rule of course

the big news in Washington this week was that President Clinton who has his hands full with this this new problem with Iraq so I'm saying once again goes on television I don't know is he like is he like Gaddafi does he change locals nightly you know Gaddafi always has is changing homes because he's he fears terrorists attacks I don't know Saddam Hussein has all those presidential palaces he probably commutes but every time he goes on television it looks like the same set he's like Dan Rathery travels with the set and he went on on TV this week saying you know we're not going to let this American Ritter and his inspection team inspect for biological and chemical weapons because he's a spy and his foreign minister announced that they put a six month deadline they want all the inspections over by May because you know they got plans for

the summer I gotta get the beach house in shape and worrying about the inspectors is just such a distraction so there's that there's the problem with the Asian economies this week the international monetary fund got a Indonesian president so hard to to agree that all of the the sweetheart contracts that he'd been shoveling to members of his family so that they controlled for example the clove business in Indonesia they put cloves in their cigarettes over there and so he gave a clove monopoly to his son because you know he believes in family values so I I would have thought we would have encouraged that but no we're taking a contrary position in this case and so Clinton's got that on his mind he's got Iraq on his mind he's got Indonesia on his mind he's got Israel on his mind he's got all the eye countries on his mind he's even got Ireland on his mind but it's the big J this week it's Paula Jones yesterday president Clinton had to testify in a sworn videotape

deposition now how much money do you think somebody has already offered for that videotape that's right more than for the NFL rights man I I'll I'll pledge the next season's grosses of the Simpsons right here right now for that videotape man wouldn't you love to see that it may be played in court in open court if the case comes to trial and of course speculation is now that that he's testified that the videotape or at least the transcript will eventually become public the damage has been done so that the the Clinton people figure might as well go for a trial well what do we got to lose meanwhile Paula Jones has lost her braces her hair has changed color mysteriously and has straightened she's got different kind of clothing and Susan Carpenter Mcmillan her her ever present and ever

location spokesperson says I had been very aware of the horrible things the White House was saying about her the main thing we looked at was what we could do to do away with all those things she is not white trash she is not a big-haired flusy so she she doesn't have the big floppy bows in her hair she stopped using fuchsia colored lipstick and is as switched to semi-matte sienna says makeup artist Cindy Watson of Paula Jones she maxed out her capacity for beauty the new looks says confident polished and very sure of herself the the makeover took place under the guidance of Susan Carpenter Mcmillan who took over Jones's life last July I talked to her as a friend Carpenter Mcmillan says I don't know

that anyone had ever talked to her about her hair it call went out to Los Angeles hairstylist Daniel de christ christio quote I call myself a creator of looks he says he flew to washington to supervise Paula Jones look as she showed up to attend the deposition that doesn't cost anything to fly a hairdresser to washington doesn't he works out on undisclosed studio that has no telephone listing and no name he's not listed with the California Board of Cosmetology ooh I took they resnick blonde for her playboy shoot he says he took the fris out of Jones's hair I've been working with her for about five months we were taking it slowly I removed the perm it had to be taken out it just wasn't pretty there was a color adjustment he admits it's a couple shades lighter it's pretty much lightish brown with natural golden highlights curly hair on tv says celebrity high hair stylist firdrick fecki curly hair on tv can look very frizzy it can look very unsophisticated decretio also assisted with an update on Paula Jones make

up choosing warm shades of brown and emphasizing her eyes I think she has a Sophia Lauren look now says soos and carpenter mcmillan but and she has gotten a new clothes but the one thing she hasn't gotten soos and carpenter mcmillan insists is a nose job she has not had a nose job we couldn't afford it so i i'm just gonna go on record here ladies and gentlemen is suggesting that Paula Jones will go down in history if she goes down in history at all as a woman who said no to two jobs second of which was her nose now this week uh you may have noticed that OJs our old friend it's 1998 and OJ Simpson is uh is back we haven't lost our juice he's an Esquire saying uh to an interviewer well if I had killed Nicole it would have been because

I loved her too much right that's kind of a quote and he was on ESPN this week uh for an hour long live interview um yeah you know a lot of questions a lot of answers but to me the the quintessential question and answer came at the end of the broadcast are you in denial absolutely not none at all not at all well that that says it all you'd think it's it's a difficult question to answer in a way because uh whatever you say it's it's kind of absurd or is it a holy holy holy holy holy holy holy holy holy is are you in denial absolutely not none at all I've at all are you in denial absolutely not none at all Are you in denial?

Are you in denial? Absolutely. Not at all. I don't live in that world. I only can live in the world that I live in. Are you in denial? Just about every day. Are you in denial? Well, I can only do what I can do. Are you in denial? How do I know? Are you in denial? I don't know. No, I don't think so at all. Are you in denial? No. Are you in denial? No, I don't know. How do I know? Are you in denial? Just about every day. No, I don't think so at all. Are you in denial? Holy, Holy, Holy, Holy... Holy, Holy, Holy.

Holy, Holy, Holy, Holy. Holy, Holy, Holy, Holy... HIU! Are you in denial? Well, I can only do what I can do. Holy, Holy, Holy, Holy. Holy, Holy, Holy... Oh, no, Holy, Holy, Holy! O don't do that now. No, no, no, no. Are you in denial? Oh, no, I don't think so at all. Just about everything. Are you in denial? Absolutely not, man, at all. Not at all. I don't know, I don't know. I feel like I've got screwed big time in this case. Are you in denial? Yeah, no, you wish it wasn't such. Are you in denial? Well, I'm not gonna go too much in the detail, but I don't know. Oh, no. Are you in denial? I can only live in the world I live in. I can't live in this other world. Oh, no. Are you in denial? I feel like I've got screwed big time. Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it. You know, you wish it wasn't such. Oh, no, no, I don't think so at all.

How do I know? I've had all. Yeah, I don't know. Are you in denial? Just about everything. Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it. You wish it wasn't such. I can only live in the world I live in. Oh, no. I can only live in the world I live in. Oh, no. I only can live in the world that I live in. Are you in denial? Oh, no. I don't think so at all. I don't know. No. I don't know. Just about everything. Oh, no. Well, I can only do what I can do. Are you in denial? Absolutely not. I don't know. I've had all. I've had all. Oh, no. I've had all. I've had all. I've had all. I've had all. I've had all.

I've had all. I've had all. I've had all. And the joke is what I said, that it's all just a little bit of history we've been through. And I've seen it before, and I'll see it again. And I've seen it before, and I'll see it again.

Some people don't dance if they don't know who's singing. And I've seen it before, and I've seen it before, and I'll see it again. And I've seen it before, and I'll see it again. And I've seen it before, and I'll see it again.

Ladies and gentlemen, we don't yet have a theme for them, although I think that's something we've got to work on, but we are being joined again today by a frequent occasional contributor to the program and a fine electronic companion in his own right. Ralph the talking computer for his first visit here in 1998. Ralph, welcome to you and happy New Year. Ralph, I think a lot of our listeners would be interested in how a talking computer or any computer for that matter spends New Year's Eve.

Just before midnight, I scanned my heart for fragmentation. What brings you into the Lischodom today? Need I S? As usual these days, I have a new Larry Kay column to read for you excellent This would be I guess the first one of the new year, huh? Yes, you know Light cheap wine Larry may not get better with it. Well, but he keeps on finally. Oh, what a nice thing to say all right Well, then here's Ralph ready to read the Larry King my two cents column from USA today. Thank you Okay, maybe some background music. Oh something a little Philip glassy. Oh, we don't have Philip glass or glass anything glassy

But how about some Terry Riley has this That's that's nice this column is called Political ponderings and athletic a says it's my two cents People are for or against the independent council law Depending on who's ox is being gored at that moment Whatever happened to those lacos who set lived in economics would lead to ruin in this country Isn't it funny that while some columnists derided television for too much coverage of Princess Diana their own Front pages had her there daily Broadway is having a booing winter and it deserves it. There isn't one right moment Not one in the theatrical version of the lion king the seka of the Kennedy family is beyond even Shakespeare Brian greasy looked like an NFL quarter back in the rose bowl

The movie as good as it gets is as good as movies get in today's era of journalism No comment, please I did it Deconstructing Harry is one of Woody Allen's best films ever with a great script and a load of laughs The New Jersey nets are the anti-A's next great team and Keith Van Horn may already be one of the least premier performers as a rookie Should there be on the brass commission for talk game this weekend to see who really is number one in the NCAA Dustin Hoffman has got it down patting his star a role in very loving since wonderful comedy like the dog I've been saying it since gay one and now I'm positive they'll return instant replay of the NFL next year If a brand name product is suddenly you end improved Does that mean my old version is inferior

The new MCI center in downtown Washington is easily the best kid or arena in the USA Until of course the next one is built The best thing to happen to talk radio in the 90s was the SP and signing Tony Cornheiser to do a daily show I'm afraid the American spectator's movement to impeach the president will turn out to be a dog that won't hunt All cable movie companies should put a crawl on the bottom of the screen with the title of the film every 10 minutes for late tuners in who don't have list games Do you know any psychics who forecast to a balance budget in 1999 Other than no way outers is anybody interested in whitewater Whenever I can I still watch column for repeats on a empty The Alphonse Dama to Gerald infararo senate race in New York if the ladder gets the nomination Will be one of the wildest of all time

I get the feeling that if Michael Jordan were on Vancouver's team they'd win the N.D.A champion's hit Sonny pongo was a grand fellow and always fun to be with Do kids still shoot marbles? I miss Keith Olterman anchorings for its cast Sonny STN I guess all those tabloids are disappointed that ranks in atra is still with us The funniest commercials on TV right now are force makers I do not believe it myself But my latest book future talk from Harper Collins is almost out and where did the time go You look up doctor in the dictionary and you get a picture of Andrew while the Harvard educated physician who advocates herbs and meditation The older I get the more I say to Brooklyn and throwing up Hmm

Very poignant twist at the end there Ralph's a talking computer reading Larry King's latest column political pundrings and athletic aces Ralph just one question very well read by the way But was that about about predicting a balanced budget? Was he saying that side kicks didn't predict that not side kicks Hmm side kicks side kicks I get it. Yeah, well, um almost poetry really the way you read it Ralph and and yet also almost pros Yeah Ralph the talking computer. Thank you one more time here today on La Show I have eyes for you to give you dirty looks I have words that do not come from children's books There's a trick with a knife. I'm learning to do and everything I've got belongs to you Of a powerful anesthesia in my fist

I'm the perfect wrist to give your naked twist How my lock holes I've mastered a few and everything I've got belongs to you Share for share share for like you get struck each time I strike you for me me for me I'll give you plenty of nothing I'm not yours for better but for worse And I've learned to give the well-known witch's curse I have a terrible tongue a temper for two and everything I've got belongs to you I

do Then at night we'll sleep and sleep, sleep and sleep and sleep, sleep and sleep, sleep and sleep, sleep and sleep, I'll give you plenty of nothing, I'm not yours for better but for worse. And I've learned to give the well-known witch's curse. I have a terrible tongue, a temper for two, and everything I've got, woo, it's not a lot, everything I've got belongs to you. Everything I've got, woo, it's not a lot, everything I've got belongs to you.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, Pasadena, California is the, it's the rose city, as you know, but it's also the site every six months, I think, of a thing where they bring, it's Pasadena sometimes, sometimes it's Century City, but this year it's, I think it's Pasadena. They bring out all the television critics from around the country, the middle of winter, to a place with good weather, it's tough sell. And then they drag out all the network executives to explain away the fall schedule and to brag about what's going to replace it. And this, this week it was the turn of CBS and later of NBC. Don Olmeyer, the head of NBC West Coast, and a longtime friend of OJ Simpson, deflected criticism that he had fired nor McDonald, the quantum anchor of Saturday Night Lives weekend update mock newscast because McDonald had been doing too many OJ jokes. Olmeyer said, nah, it's because he wasn't funny. Olmeyer insisted that his opinion of OJ has nothing to do with the way the network has run and he pointed to the fact that they're OJ jokes on the J Leno show and on the Conan O'Brien show.

All right, could be, could be. Anyway, it was, it was newsworthy only because it's the first time I think in the history of Saturday Night Live that a personnel, no, not the first time. It was the second time. It became clear that the personnel decisions at the show were no longer being made by the producers of the show, but basically being made by the network now. And Dan Rather got up in front of the TV critics. He's on his way to cover the Pope's visit to Havana, but he made a little trip out here before that just to brag about the fact that CBS news is no longer number three and that and reiterated the commitment of CBS to hard news, not that soft news, but that, but hard news. There are also rumors spreading at the TV critics convention that there will be a second edition of 60 minutes, possibly on Monday night, although Don Hewitt, the producer of 60 minutes said, it's tough to find producers, segment producers who can

be this good. Yeah, it's, it's, it's tough to find help everywhere these days. A thought that brings to mind another edition of bad days at Black Rock next here on the show. Great presentation, Daniel. I think so, brother, boss. Oh, absolutely. You repeated the mantra about a dedication to hard news so often by the hint of the hour, you even had me believing it. Michael, sir, please, listen here, boss. Anybody east of Brussels can tell you, Dan Rather has got a sense of humor as big as the hill country. Well, but there's one thing I don't care about, and that's my commitment to hard news, the hardest news there is. That's what got us out of third place, and if we make it even harder, that's what's going to let us kick brother, bro, calls as clear, but a yankton.

Where's the anchored? Is that where he's from somewhere in South Dakota? Good evening, gentlemen. I'm Chris. I will be your way to this evening. I'd like to tell you about our specials. Oh, Chris, I have for you as an appetizer this evening. This evening, the seared foie gras in port wine glaze, 1450. Oh, sir, please. I also have for you as an appetizer this evening, the chilled leek soup. No dairy, no flowers. They can just by sheer force of will. 1250. Chris, sir, please. Yeah, just a certain steak. Pink, not many more air, but pink for me and for us over here. Good evening, huh? I'm Chris. Just the cobs salad, please. Michael, you don't eat the cobs, do you? There are no cobs. Okay, that's the Serling steak pink for the gentleman and the cobs salad for the gentleman. Anything to start for the gentleman? Which gentleman? He's their one. Well, I'm fine. Well, me too. Thank you, gentlemen.

One of the best restaurants in Pasadena, brother, you had told me. Speaking of brother, you. What's this I hear about doing another edition of 60 each week? No, I know. It's going to be 120 minutes, so to suppose the brand another 60 minutes, 60 more minutes, 60 minutes, one day later, 60 other minutes. Are you through? Sorry, but Michael sir, it's absurd. Our frillish leader ought to be taking the position that NBC can do as many deadlines as they want and ABC can put on 20 20s until they can't see straight, but 60 is 60. And it's no dolly. As in hello, as in clones, Michael. You know, the way I figure it, Daniel, it's half an hour a week more of taping desenters and gazellers. Tops. Not in my fight. Well, of course, not brother Wallace, if you don't mind, spending your glorious final years on the air, anchoring a once proud broadcast that's decided to greet the millennium by turning softer than a furs fortlock.

Well, anyway, brother, you, it says it's a matter of being able to find enough producers who can work at 60s level. That's a good speed bump, Michael, but it's no stop sign here. We fought through the tough days when evening news was number three in the coyotes among the affiliates were planning to have down rather for dinner. We fought the good fight. And we won. Serious journalism was alive and well. And we own it. You know, speaking of dinner, maybe I should have voted an appetizer. I'm starting Michael Daniel. What a surprise to see you in here. Well, brother Hayward is this is one of the best restaurants in Pasadena. You had told you tell, huh? Sure. Fair list leader. You want to sit down here? Actually, I want to pry you away from Michael for a moment. Michael, you excuse us? You know what? I'll go use the little boys.

So tell me, Daniel. Yes, sir, Mr. Hayward, sir. How old do you have to be before you stop calling it the little boys room? Hey, great presentation today. Critics loved you. You know what I think helped. The video clips? Well, yeah, those topen. Mainly the hair. The gray was wrong. We got rid of the gray and boom. Well, sir, you know, like everything else in this life process of trial and error to find that dead right color. Sure. Anyway, Daniel, Sean McManus of CBS Sports Colored me. You know, he's higher than a kite since we got the NFL. Sure. I'm warned you right now. He's ditched deep in resumes. You've got to hire so many horses. There may be an analyst slot open for OJ Simpson. Yeah. I don't think so, Daniel. I hear he's headed the NBC to the weekend update. Isn't that something? Yeah. Imagine an executive producer of a broadcast in a position where a network executive can fire a couple of his stuff members.

Yeah. It's amazing. Anyway, Daniel, Sean asked me and I agreed that you go over to Nagano to host the opening ceremonies of the Winter Olympics. It helps him. It helps us. It helps you. It helps the games. It helps everybody. Brother Hayward sounds like too much help them going on. You know, I made a pledge to those reporters in there today. You were there? Yeah. I told them then, right? They're stood for covering the important stories, the difficult stories, the Washington stories, the foreign stories. Well, I can know it's foreign. It's Japan. You'll do pieces on the economy while you're there. The Japanese economy is Newsy. It's Newsy. That's correct, sir, but I got a H.C. Tonson didn't hard news. Newsy. You're going to have Van to cover the pope. There's 100% hard. Yes. So is it a crime that a couple weeks later that percentage goes down on the H2 for the sake of vastly improved cross promotion? Well, I mean, since when is CBS sports our enemy? You know, so look, I'll have Sean's people call your office to work out the logistics.

I won't have to wear their blazer. Will I? You know, brother, that's not a half bad idea. Well, give us a consistent look to them. I'm Daniel. I'm kidding. Of course not. You wear your own wardrobe. Who do you think I am, Donald Meyer? No, of course not. I'm going to skid out on the phone. Michael gets arrested for loitering in the John. And again, great presentation today. Thank you, sir. It means a lot. Hmm. Oh, do you have to be before you stop saying skid out on? I don't have to beg you to hold me. Cause somebody else will. You don't have to love me when I want it.

Cause somebody else will. You so call friends say you don't need it. All the time they tried to get it. I said you better look out. You're good things about to come to an end. Yeah, baby. I'm talking about your real good things about to come to an end. All those nights I watched the four walls. I didn't have to watch them all alone.

Whatever someone said they wanted me. I didn't have to tell them I was your very own. You have all the love I've got, baby. And even ice melts to water when it gets hot. Hey, you better look out. You're good things about to come to an end, baby. I'm talking about your real good things about to come to an end, baby. Don't let no one turn you away from me, girl.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to go try to establish a squat in one of those subway tunnels, just in case, you know, that's going to be a prime beach front land one of these days. So this program will return next week at this same time over these same stations,

over America one throughout Europe on cable in Japan, around the world, to the worldwide facilities of the United States Armed Forces Radio and Television Service, and on your computer whenever you want it, at www.HarryShirer.com. I don't need just like... Just like Paula Jones getting a nose job if you'd agree to join with me then, would you? All righty, thank you very much. The show comes to you from Century of Progress, productions and originates through the facilities of SAS,

a satellite service of KCRW Santa Monica, a community recognized around the world, as the home of the homeless. Now stay tuned for Quack and Clunk, the Thrippet Brothers. Next here on KCRW Santa Monica at 89.9, KCRY Indio Palm Springs at 89.3, and KCRU Oxnard Ventura at 89.1 FM. KCRW is a community service of Santa Monica College, National Park. To your premiums, how to become angels, how to become angels, how to be included in fantastic vacation sweepstakes, and a subscriber only offer. Not a subscriber, call 310-450-5183. All right, a reminder, there's only five more days to enter both sweepstakes. Madrid ends January 30th.

I wonder if they've told the people in Madrid. In 10 seconds, it will be 10AM Pacific Standard Time for Lucho. I thought maybe we should spend the whole program this week talking about what's been happening on the future's market. Ladies and gentlemen, it's... Oh, we have other things. All right, the future's market, I guess, will get to that report. It is significant. But apparently other things went down this past week that demand our attention. For one, may have escaped you. But Theodore Kaczynski pled guilty to being the unibomber this week. So he must be crazy. I plead guilty of that. He's got to be nuts. I don't care what the shrink says. But this would be, if I'm not mistaken, ladies and gentlemen,

the first time that I know about an American jurisprudence where a mass murder is sentenced to an improved lifestyle for life. I mean, you saw where he lived when he was free. It's going to be better conditions than that no matter where they send him. I would say given the ideology of Theodore Kaczynski, I'm not getting into his head. But just given what he said in his statements as manifesto, his opposition to technology, his fear of technology, that the most appropriate punishment for him would be to spend a life in a jail cell filled with TVs and computers that have no off switches. That's just a suggestion from me. Also, this week, of course, the pope could be heard muttering in five languages. I go to Cuba once in my damn life, and I still can't get on TV.

But apparently there was, yeah, there was something else that went on this past week. And it keeps going on. It's like the ever, ever-ready bunny just keeps going. If you're listening any time close to the actual air date, the live broadcast of this program, then you know that the latest reports on the purported scandal brewing about the White House are that plans are to now say that the president had an emotional relationship of some kind with Monica Lewinsky. And that ABC is saying that obviously via a leak from the Ken Starr's office that they now have witnesses who saw something happen in the White House between those two. Of course, there's that tape that CNN's been playing of the president embracing her on a greeting line right after he won the election.

He's greeting a bunch of people, and he greets her and gives her a hug. The president, I think it's been duly noted, you have to be, basically, Theodore Kaczynski not to get a hug from this guy. So that's of dubious value. But still, we're left with all these shards. Now, before we get into the substance of this, and ladies and gentlemen believe you me, we will. Just a couple of observations on the bright side. The bright side of this whole thing. I know there's a looming crisis with Iraq on the horizon, and the president is afraid to look like the guy and wag the dog, and all of that. But there is a bright side. First of all, for the first time in six months, you can get on MSNBC without having to have a British accent. So let's say, secondly, I think for the first time in 32 years, we succeeded in going through this particular week, thanks to other developments.

Without hearing really, unless you really wanted to, you had to really want to to hear any of the Super Bowl hype for the first time. Unwilling co-conspirators in the Super Bowl conspiracy were led off the hook this particular time around. And that, you know, don't pull, pull that. That's big. But I am speaking to you, ladies and gentlemen, from the Lachodome in Santa Monica, which is on, I don't know if I've ever told you this, I'm sure many of you know, on the campus of Santa Monica College. That's right. That's a school Monica Lewinsky attended. They'll be a plaque up shortly. But there are many people around Santa Monica. And because she comes from here, once again, the OJ factor, everybody you run into around here knows or purports to know something.

And several of them purports to know why Monica Lewinsky left Beverly Hills High School. Let's just say this. It wasn't because she didn't like the cheerleader uniforms. This is a story that remains to be told by the mainstream news media, but I'm no mad drudge. I'm not going to tell it to you now. Suffice to say it either lens or takes away credence from what we're supposed to be believing. What could that possibly mean? Hello, welcome to the show. He's a kind of guy puts on a motorcycle jacket and he weighs about 105. He's a kind of surfer. God, I hold any hair. God, any wonder how he'll ever survive. He's a kind of frogman wearing 20 pounds of counterweight and sinking in the sea like a stone. He's a kind of soldier. Got no sense of direction. And they send him in the jungle alone.

But when the force on the pumpkin and the new girls are jumping, he's a hard-loving son of a god. He's got to wait and doubt it just to sample his affairs. And they call him a spoonful of fun. He's a kind of person going riding on a skateboard in his mind's rage and out of control. He's a kind of person going to drive a mazerot. He puts a key inside the wrong little hole. He's a kind of skibum tearing wild down the mountain. It's a patch where there ain't any snow. He's the kind of cowboy got a hot trigger finger shoot. Because he's drawn kind of slow. But when he comes in for more and he's an expert at rolling sets the pins up and lays them right down. He's got him taking off the heels and they like the way he feels and they call him a carnival clown.

Well, he's got a pair of shoot and scream and like to run a moan makes a little hole in the ground. He's a kind of logger when the man haul his timber guns and look around for the sound. He's a kind of artist rinse a groovy little and he can discover that he can't throw a beard. He's a human cannonball coming for a land in any wonders where the net disappeared. But when he takes off his shoes, he won't come as news that they're lining up and freezing into. He's got him paddling on the door, got him begging for some more. He's got them paddling on the door, got him begging for some more and they call him whatever they choose. You never give me your money. You only give me your funny paper.

And in the middle of negotiations you break down. I never give you my number. I only give you my situation. And in the middle of investigation I break down. Out of college money spent, see no future, they don't rent. All of us got nowhere to go.

Any job or got the sack, Monday morning, turn it back, yellow and rice snow, nowhere to go. But oh, that magic feeling, nowhere to go. All of us got nowhere to go. All of us got nowhere to go.

All of us got nowhere to go. I never cared much for moonless skies. I never went back and fireflies, when nothing stars on in your eyes. I'm beginning to see the light. I never went in for afterglow for candlelight on the mistletoe. When I've chewed, turned the lamp down low, I'm beginning to see the light. I used to ramble through the park, a shadow boxing in the dock, and then you came and set the spark, it's the four alarm fire now.

I never made love by lantern shine, I never saw rainbows in my wine, but now that your lips are burning, my I'm beginning to see the light. All of us got nowhere to go. All of us got nowhere to go. All of us got nowhere to go. All of us got nowhere to go.

All of us got nowhere to go. All of us got nowhere to go. All of us got nowhere to go. All of us got nowhere to go.

All of us got nowhere to go. All of us got nowhere to go. All of us got nowhere to go.

All of us got nowhere to go. All of us got nowhere to go. All of us got nowhere to go. All of us got nowhere to go.

All of us got nowhere to go. It's actually a report from the Times of London on what the tobacco companies have in store for us next. But it's news of the trade and I will read it for you. Some of the world's biggest tobacco companies are planning to circumvent impending bans on advertising and sponsorship by legally promoting their cigarette brand names in new coffee products. The scheme is being tested in Asia by British American tobacco under the Benson and Hedges name. British American tobacco confirms that if successful its Benson and Hedges quality blend coffees would be rolled out internationally as an enterprise in its own right.

A chain of branded coffee shops could follow. The move follows research by London advertising agencies suggesting that coffee and cigarettes are closely associated in the public mind, particularly among smokers. It's a logical step, says the source close to the project. They're running out of markets in which they can openly advertise so the thinking is well okay if we can't advertise cigarettes. We will advertise another product which will have a halo effect on the cigarette brand. Linking coffee in tobacco is the brainchild of Bates, Dorland, this British advertising agency. It's being tested in Malaysia by World Investment Company, a private company set up by British American tobacco explicitly to develop non-tobacco products to be bagged with the names of its cigarettes, including Benson and Hedges Lucky Strike John Player and Kent.

In Malaysia it is already illegal to advertise cigarettes. Lucky Strike Condoms, not yet. Last week dozens of young Malaysians were puffing away in the Benson and Hedges bistro in Kuala Lumpur while drinking cups of Benson and Hedges coffee. The first of what? BAT hopes will become an international chain of coffee shops. Well suddenly Starbucks is the good guys. Television advertisements for the bistro show an athletic roller skater coursing through a golden city before stopping for a hard earned coffee moment at the bistro. A second version of the same film intended for screening in areas where smoking in ads is not prohibited yet, ends with the skater puffing blissfully on a cigarette.

The company line is that the gold-colored coffee house is entirely divorced from the tobacco interests however these staffs, shirts, the menus, sugar, packets, and matchboxes are all adorned with logos, depicting Benson and Hedges gold-colored cigarette packs. The royal crest and special filter logos the cigarette brand carries have been replaced by a picture of a steaming coffee cup. David Bacon Head of Corporate Communications at British American Tobacco said the Benson and Hedges coffee was just one of a number of spin-off products being developed by the company. Others include Lucky Strike Clothing, see how close we got, John Player Whiskey and Kent Travel Agency, an actual travel agency with a micro-night filter. Yes, these products share the trademarks of our tobacco products, luxury products have done that for years but they should not be caught by any marketing restrictions, says David Bacon, a British American tobacco because we're not selling cigarettes with them.

It says Danny Santa Maria, the manager of the Benson and Hedges coffee shop in Kuala Lumpur, of course this is all about keeping the Benson and Hedges brand name to the front, we advertise the bistro on television and in the newspapers. The idea is to be smoker friendly, smokers associate a coffee with a cigarette, they're both drugs of a type. Of course the cigarettes are of the carcinogenic type and the coffee may not be. But something to look for, I'd say Lucky Strike Clothing but maybe, maybe the Lucky Strike other, maybe the Lucky Strike sex novelties, maybe that's in the offing the next, the very next time I read the trades for you can't be right in the future.

Okay, let's get down to it, enough stalling. No, I'm not going to tell you why, pester your local news broadcaster to find out or tell you why Monica Lewinsky left Beverly Hills High School. You don't leave Beverly Hills High School, normally it's the best school in Southern California or reputed to be and the one published explanation I've seen was that she went to a less demanding academically demanding private academy. Maybe wonderful spectacle this week to see all the network anchors scurry back from Havana just as fast as they possibly could they you know spent millions with sky boxes and things to cover the Pope's visit to Havana. Bam out of there like a shot.

Dan Ted first of course Ted now that now that there is a new tradition being established, which is remember Ted copper left the Republican convention early last year because he said there's no news here. Now Ted left Cuba first Ted the early warning that something either big is going on elsewhere or that nothing is happening there is when copper leaves and the other guys follow. Dan Tom and Peter I dog on it I did not get to do a a tonight count on Tom this week to see if in the wake of this big story the the number of times he said tonight in the broadcast zoomed upward again you may remember the last big news day Tom's tonight count zoomed to 22 from its average of 12 maybe somebody out there could keep track of it because I you know I have no staff plays it's me it's me in the thing. All right interesting characters reasons why this story is better than wag the dog. Lucian Goldberg you know who she is she is the New York literary agent who is a friend of Linda trip who told Linda trip to start taping her conversations with Monica Lewinsky.

Lucian Goldberg worked her word as a spy in the McGovern campaign for the Nixon campaign in 1972. But you know that's just okay that feeds the people who think there's a political conspiracy at stake here feeding the people who think life is just too damn goofy. She is also the literary agent for Mark Furman that's right there's an O.J. angle in everything now but she also she I don't know if you saw it ladies and gentlemen she delivered herself of a most. Most wonderful impromptu press conference in New York City yesterday with the requisite amount of pushing and shoving and yelling and I'm not going to answer any more questions yes you. That is that has come to be do regret in these circumstances but an absolutely wonderful press conference unfortunately I forgot to tape it and I don't think I don't think we're going to see the best parts of it on the air ever again.

But my favorite was my favorite moment maybe of the week Lucian Goldberg Mark Furman's literary agent former dirty trickster for the Nixon gang explains what her dealings with the independent council can stars office have been she had a couple of tapes because not only did she tell Linda trip to start taping Monica Lewinsky but she Lucian Goldberg started taping her conversations with Linda trip. So she has tapes of Linda trip telling her what somebody else told her on her tapes. Anyway have your tapes call my tapes and they'll have lunch anyway she says I turned my couple of tapes of my conversations with Linda trip over to the independent council and they sent a couple of very nice looking FBI agents over and I just said I really don't please don't call me. Down to the grand jury I have nothing more to say and she said they didn't call me down to the grand jury because you know that's not a good look going to the grand jury.

It's not a good look. Monica Lewinsky okay back to her two published reports today one about her background at the Pentagon workers have been divided at both at the White House and at the at the Pentagon about what kind of a young lady this is oh speaking of which before I get to that. The defense of Monica Lewinsky is obviously in much higher gear than the defense for Bill Clinton at this point in time her lawyer very skillfully very effectively depicting her as this scared little 24 year old girl which just rang the this bell in my mind. Both Susan Carpenter Macmillan in talking about Paula Jones and Jennifer flowers back on Larry King this week talking about herself have referred to themselves well in case of Paula Jones and in case of Jennifer flowers as quote. Just a little girl from Arkansas.

So it's the just a little girl from Arkansas defense except that she's from Beverly Hills in this case anyway the the some reports depicted as a very very effusive effective bright intelligent enthusiastic worker others characterizer as having had clearly a crush on the president. But at the Pentagon supposedly the one of the criticisms leveled at her is that she told a lot of dirty jokes. And in the story of detailing what can stars prosecutors and the FBI agents did with Monica Lewinsky during the nine hours they had her at the Ritz Carlton hotel trying to pressure her into recanting her affidavit. The Washington Post reports that according to Ken stars office you know it wasn't pressure at all. And she told the FBI agents a dirty joke.

I know it doesn't it doesn't mean anything it's just it's just good conversational fodder. And obviously much more to come here on the show. I'll see you again. Well I ain't no use. I can't would not keep I can't even talk about you.

Everybody think of my dying. Everybody think I'm on a dime. Well I have my baby come and rub me in here. I can't even make me want a heart out of you. I look in my cupboard because I'm in my door.

I look in my cupboard because I'm in my door. Well you know the high fever make a rich man poor. Well ladies gentlemen let's let's put a screeching screeching hauled on the on the brake pedal here. Now the brake pedal will administer a screeching haul to the vehicle.

That's what will happen actually. And just step back for a moment to realize that again there is there's something good about what's going on here. We are you know so often in this modern world full of hustle bustle. It's easy to lose track of our roots of our heritage. To think that we're all so gone darned modern and so you know up to date and so forth. And it's great to be reminded every once in a while by an intense experience like this that at heart we're still a pure country. That nothing nothing can shake the country to its core more than having Matt Lauer on the today show under the words dried presidential semen. That's what sends a shiver of excited repulsion through the entire body politic. And you know it makes us unique in the world because in every other country.

And I know we hear this no matter what goes on here. If there's a scandal about presidential finances as there has been for much of the past year, then we hear from other countries what's the big deal everybody knows that the president. And if there's a scandal about alleged presidential sexual pecadillos left that space for you to create your own play on words there. Then we hear from other countries what's the big deal everybody knows that these guys are over testosterone and there was a wonderful quote from I think Spain. Hurry Madrid ends January 30th that that said well what's the problem here at least we know he's a real man and that's what you need in a leader. Which suggests where this thing is all I mean what we are living through ladies and gentlemen is the is the set of unintended but obviously inevitable consequences that ensued not to be casting blame but just just to look back. At ensued from the spectacle that went down at Watergate time because that's had had Richard Nixon not tried to fire Archibald Cox.

There would be no independent council law there would be no guy spending 40 million dollars and saying well maybe we'll investigate his sex life now. And so what you're going to get I would think the unintended consequence of this particular interlude would be a president with a markedly reduced sex drive. And we know who that would be anyway that's that said here's here's what's being reported the. The old crew is being invited back Mickey canter former treasury secretary and advisor to Clinton is back at the White House Harold Ickies who was in line to be chief of staff and unceremoniously informed no sir right after he helped to engineer the victory in the last election. And was wandering the wilderness with boxes and boxes of papers that he took from the White House with him when he left has been invited back.

To help with the advising of the president his problem apparently say his friends is that the political people want him just to tell everything he knows now and the legal people are saying can't do that. Don't know what it means have to wait to see what turns up what stains on what turn up in the in the custody of whom. So a number of as they're called presidential surrogates were sent out to the Sunday morning talk shows to speak on his behalf with the aid of certain talking points that were issued for their for their perusal. Yes it is yes it is another addition of Clinton something next here on the show. She was kicking down the fence trying to hide the evidence that will give her came away but everything is clear as day.

She did everything she did and I could feel the restless mind calling out for love the crying time crying time. All those days it seemed like years the sun was rolling out in the night the tickets on the time I'm on the library found. I was to leave my heart in flames then by all her other lovers names and I could feel my restless mind calling out for love the crying time crying time. All those crying bars of hotel room it's like rhythm to embrace but everywhere is a lonely place and sit down and down and down.

I can feel my restless mind calling out for love the crying time crying time. Here we call out for love crying time crying time. All those days it seemed like years the sun was rolling out in the night the tickets on the library found.

All those crying bars of hotel room it's like rhythm to embrace but everywhere is a lonely place and sit down and down and down. I can feel my restless mind calling out for love the crying time crying time. I can feel my restless mind calling out for love the crying time crying time. I can feel my restless mind calling out for love crying time crying time crying time crying time.

Here we call out for love crying time. I can feel my restless mind calling out for love crying time. I can feel my restless mind calling out for love crying time crying time crying time crying time crying time crying time crying time.

I can feel my restless mind calling out for love crying time crying time crying time crying time crying time crying time. I can feel my restless mind calling out for love crying time crying time crying time. I don't know, auspicious is dedicating a new building in a junior college.

Historic is kind of cliché. You look in a dictionary under cliché you see a picture of the word historic and not observation itself is a cliché. You know playing word games at a time like this and it doesn't help the country. That's what we're doing Mr. Vice President playing word games to help the country. I know it's a cliché but try saying historic. My fellow Americans I speak to you tonight at a historic moment for all of us at historic. The whole sentence has to be longer. More half. More of a da da da da da da da da da. Historic moment da da da da da da. My fellow Americans I speak to you this evening at a turning point in the history of our nation. That's good, it's stately.

See how it tracks into it? Tonight America has a choice. We can either descend into finger pointing and blame gaming over what has gone before, or we can renew our commitment to working together to build a better future. Do we need both finger pointing and blame gaming? Each phrase speaks to a different part of the electorate. Finger pointing speaks to men, blame gaming to women. Okay. If this day in question arrives, the fewer words on the prompt or the better, that's all. As your new president, you won't stutter that word on the day in question. I'll try not to. As your new whatever, it's clear to me that our responsibilities lie in facing the future. I like the alliteration. Thank you. But can't the responsibilities do something other than lie? How about live? Just put a a V in there. No. Responsibilities

rest and you got double alliteration. All responsibilities rest in facing the future. It sounds lazy. If anybody shouldn't be resting, it's our responsibilities. Good point. I'll work on that. The world will not wait, nor will history take a brief time out. We must persevere. Well, that's just excellent. I think that's the bite. Oh, it's definitely the bite. I just wonder. Wonder what? Whether you should be engaged in this exercise at all at the moment, whether all your energy shouldn't be laser-beamed in a defending and protecting the president of the United States. Yeah. Sort of like that. It's a good question, Mr. Vice President. It should be. I wrote it. But I think each of us has just got to come up with our own answer to it. And yours is? I'm heading back to the

bunker. I'll come by around two to check for changes. Okay. My fellow Americans I speak to you tonight at an unbelievable moment for all of us. Hmm. That's getting there. I just got to keep it in a box. Just got to keep it in a box. And in the box. Mr. President? Yeah, I was going to. In charrier sends over a new draft of their section of state of the Union, logging thing is back in. Use, not use. I don't know. I thought we sent over all those logs. Actual logging, sir. Interior. Oh, yeah, right. Sorry, man. I'm on a long strange trip here. Mr. President. Yeah. Call on the secure line. Oh, thank you. Hello. Mr. President, I didn't think I could throw him in. The best I was hoping for was

a very sophisticated, very smell like speech recognition software. I'm a little, you know, I mean, my God, personally, your position with only stuff coming at you. You're lucky. And I have waited to his keep down by now. I just wanted to express my support. I know it looks like you've got fewer friends than now, but I'll spend this at the moment. But those of us who've been through when, you know, something similar, you know, I'm not saying, but, you know, just what I get it. And I appreciate it. I mean, you know, I'm married to go, but who knows what you're doing. Hold on, everybody. Erskine, we hear anything lately from the lawyer's room. I'll go check. No, I can't go check. They tell me anything I can be subpoenaed. Well, Hillary brought Harold

back. I know, sir. Can't he go? He could be subpoenaed if your lawyers tell him anything, and I could be subpoenaed for going and getting him. So I have to go. That's what the lawyer told me they told you. Okay, I'm going. Hey, Erskine, what's new? Oh, bye. Well, new language from interior for the address. Did they change the section on logging? Uh-huh. Lose it. Hey, Mike, what you got? Des Moines Register says they have a tape where she says the president took her to a hot tub spawn, Maryland. Uh-huh. Unbelievable. Did they want reaction? No, they just wanted us to know. Well, they're going to get a reaction. Is Shaleila available? Uh, I have to check. Okay. Hey, back from the law office of Kendall and Bennett. How'd it go, sir? I can't tell you. No, right. Hi, hun. You, I can tell. Mm-hmm. No executive privilege. No lawyer client privilege. Spousal privilege. I wish. Okay. I'm going to get the new draft from state. So I'd just like to kill Bob Bennett. That's all. He doesn't call Linda Trip a liar on CNN. We're rocking into the state of union right about now. I know. Man. I feel so stupid.

Hmm. I thought Bill Bennett was the bad brother. I've got a call into Gurgon. He may come back to help out. This is amazing, Hill. It's like, it's like we're already having our reunion too. Mr. President, call on the secure line. Oh, thanks. I forgot about Woody. Yeah, Mike. Yeah, I just got a no from Gurgon, says he's a Republican again. Hello, Mr. President. This is okay. You know, I feel for you, man. Is it what those pages always do? Uh-huh. Earth can take this. Yes, sir. Sorry to President was needed elsewhere. Carval, what's up? Yeah. Hey, folks, look, I know we're pissing up a rope. I'm getting any response out on this thing. But look, American music awards on Monday night. President could go on live with Dick Clark, blow this gang of right-wing crazies right out of the water before the last note is out of Celine Dion's throat. Jim, you know, the lawyer's saying, no, not until we have a handle on what is and isn't out there. Well, shoot, man. It's it's hard to go out there and try to cut stephenopolis a new aperture for being this loyal when we got no

message or being prevented by Jacobian Myers in there from delivering the message. He's right, huh? We're toast. Earth's skin. Let's get all right on the phone. Get a reading on a world reaction. You got Jim, unless you want to be the rabbi corp of this operation, just give me good stuff for each of the surrogates that's going on the talk shows. Oh geez. All right, get out of bed early just to be a gag writer for Rama Madeline. You know, in a way, Elvis was a lucky one. He got out before everything hit the fan. Here's all bright. Great. Madeline, I'm doing okay. Strangely enough, I'm doing okay. But Madeline, let me ask you something, just present to the Secretary of State here. Yes, sir. Right now, as of this moment, yes, sir. What are you wearing? Youthful angst and middle-aged power. Together, they add up to cleaning something. So long for the lashings of our love affair.

Or something solid that's no longer there. I miss the stringent discipline of loving you. No one execs the best from me, the way that you used to do. Now that you've gone, it's a colorless world. Now that you've gone, I've had it with girls. Since you left me, I've been looking for a sign.

No one let us show me where to tow the line. No one to show me my place on the face of this slippery world. See that I don't jump the gun or fall behind. Now that you've gone, it's a spongy world. Now that you've gone, I've had it with girls. I've had it with girls. See, a lot of girls, but they don't do the trick.

They just can't cut through, I guess my heart is thick. No one can tear me to pieces the way that you used to do. Oh, the girls just can't get off a kick like you. I've had it with girls. Oh, the girls just can't get off a kick like you used to do.

Well, ladies, gentlemen, pay your cable bills this week, as all I can say. This is going to be a lot of stuff on there, and I'm not talking about showtime. You know, impeachment is not a good look either. I'm going to tweak my cable box, make sure I'm getting everything I can, and basically just sit there and watch for the next six and a half days and

change and meet you back here next week at this same time over these same stations, over America, one throughout Europe, on cable in Japan, around the world to the worldwide facilities of the United States Armed Forces Radio and Television Service, and on your computer, whenever you want it, at www.HarryShirer.com. And it would be just like knowing why Monica Lewinsky left Beverly Hills high, if you'd agree to join with me then, would you? All righty, thank you very much. The show comes to you from century progress, productions, and originates through the facilities

of SAAS, a satellite service of KCRW's Santa Monica, home of Santa Monica College, home of Monica Lewinsky. Santa Monica, it's a community right next to Beverly Hills, it's recognized around the world, it's the home of the homeless. Oh me? I'm just a little girl from Arkansas. So long. Now stay tuned for fine radio programming. Next here on KCRW Santa Monica 89.9 KCRY Indio Palm Springs at 89.3 and KCRU Oxnard Ventura at 89.1 FM. KCRW is a community service

of Santa Monica College National Public Radio for more of Southern California. What can you do if suddenly you find yourself on the fabled island of Bali? Let yourself go. Be swept away by the beauty of this natural paradise. It's tropical valleys, topped by volcanoes, and ringed with pristine beaches. It's green-terrest rice patties dropping to rushing rivers, without your camera and take home a memory. And you can do it in style. When KCRW's Bali sweepstakes stay at the five star four seasons resort Bali, three nights at Jimburin Bay, two nights in the Highlands at Sian, one resort, two locations, rated number one by travel riders. Subscribe by January 31 and you're entered in two sweepstakes. Your subscriber letter tells all rules red daily.

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Transcript

Transcript

Series: Le Show

Episode: 1998-01-11; 1998-01-18; 1998-01-25

Producing Organization: Century of Progress Productions

Contributing Organization: Century of Progress Productions (Santa Monica, California)

AAPB ID: cpb-aacip-4c289889e90

If you have more information about this item than what is given here, or if you have concerns about this record, we want to know! Contact us, indicating the AAPB ID (cpb-aacip-4c289889e90).

Description

Credits: Host: Shearer, Harry
Producing Organization: Century of Progress Productions
Writer: Shearer, Harry

AAPB Contributor Holdings: Century of Progress Productions
Identifier: cpb-aacip-280a478d451 (Filename)
Format: DAT

Citations: Chicago: “Le Show; 1998-01-11; 1998-01-18; 1998-01-25,” 1998-01-18, Century of Progress Productions, American Archive of Public Broadcasting (GBH and the Library of Congress), Boston, MA and Washington, DC, accessed May 5, 2024, http://americanarchive.org/catalog/cpb-aacip-4c289889e90.; MLA: “Le Show; 1998-01-11; 1998-01-18; 1998-01-25.” 1998-01-18. Century of Progress Productions, American Archive of Public Broadcasting (GBH and the Library of Congress), Boston, MA and Washington, DC. Web. May 5, 2024. <http://americanarchive.org/catalog/cpb-aacip-4c289889e90>.; APA: Le Show; 1998-01-11; 1998-01-18; 1998-01-25. Boston, MA: Century of Progress Productions, American Archive of Public Broadcasting (GBH and the Library of Congress), Boston, MA and Washington, DC. Retrieved from http://americanarchive.org/catalog/cpb-aacip-4c289889e90