Hal Rubenstein

I'm calling about your book. OK just because coming Could you hold a minute. Permission to record this issue. OK thank you. First of all and second of all I want to thank you for writing this book it was really funny reading online. Thank you very much. So it's been 10 years since the Miami Vice revolution I got to see it go. Well no actually because the thing is it might have gotten bastardized and screwed up but at least it you know it just it made people it made men in America look at clothes a little bit differently and made them realize that navy blue is not the be all and end all and that a blue blazer and a pair of white pants is not what you were when the weather was warm all the time. So at least I mean it got away. You know the sort of the stereotype that you know a man only wears a pink suit if he signed me. You know you know and only and only people who are in the seat or you know we're we're pastels and stuff like that and that the tie is not the tie is not a requisite with a suit jacket. So I think it's served its purpose.

So what was your goal when you decided to write this. My goal basically was was it was about applying for the supplying information to a man who I think basically just have are so completely uninformed about how to live. In many ways other than their job you know their job and they're stumbling through parents you know parenthood. It's the fact is that you know people always talk about men's being bores and having no social graces where you can have social graces unless somebody teaches you them. They don't come you know they're not part of the package when you're born. You have certain instincts maybe but you're not taught social graces women are. Women are taught to get you know to get their nails. You know to get their nails done and women are taught how to figure out how clothes look good in them. And women are taught how to read a good friend a package they are and men never are they're not put any of that is if it's not important to them of course it's totally important to them. You know and the funny thing

is it is that women will always talk about how men are little boys and yet it's women who really are basically responsible for keeping them that way because they never give them the skills to do anything on their own. That's a pretty powerful suggestion I think you're right though because I was reading that the funniest thing to me one of the funnier things was the idea about buy men buying their own underwear. Yeah. And women do women constantly buy men's are women still do. I mean they used to spend be about 80 percent of the market. Now they buy about 65 to 70 percent of men's underwear. The fact that a man allows allows a woman to buy something where a fit is like so I believe really important and the quality of what you wear is so important. And again it's what happens you know. You raise a son and you cook for him and you clean for him and you make his bed and you never let him near the kitchen oh don't worry I'll do

this and you buy him this you know and then he gets out there he can't do a damn thing and you look at him and all poor thing you're so helpless. Well his only solution is what to get married. Well maybe that worked in 1942. Well that doesn't work anymore because men don't get married right away or they get married and then get divorced and the point is suddenly more people in America realize they have to figure out how to do this by themselves over half the population living in Manhattan these days a single. Well you've got to figure out how to do by yourself. So what would you say to someone who is a proponent proponent of the idea that style is innate. I was nine and had some I mean some people have more stuff you know. You know can you teach somebody style. You know that's the question. No it's not just because the styles not about clothing that's the whole thing style is nothing to do with clothing. You can teach anybody had a dress or you know it. There are many people and this country who are on best dressed lists and all that kind of stuff and we

say they're stylish they're not stylish they just wear good clothes. You know you were for display if you wear nothing but Armani you will look you will look like you have style it doesn't mean you have any which is simply done is appropriate it's somebody else's style. What styles about his behavior and what behavior is not about taking a tie to match a jacket. Because you know as well as I do there are people who who have great style who can carry off things that you would look at and go Well that doesn't go for some reason it looks great on them has to do with an awareness of oneself and has to do with how people approach problems with how whether they're of a romantic nature or a business nature whether it's about getting something you want of persuading somebody to do something or getting the most for your money. I mean style is not something that necessarily has anything to do with what hangs on a hanger. It has to do with it within it with an awareness of how to live. And those are things that have to be

talked to. I mean it's taught to you you know everything from. Because it's about observation. I mean yes I mean certain people are born more observant than others but it's also about training. I mean you train. I mean nobody innately knows that you know carnations and moms of our harbor florist you anybody you can say what you do is you give it to somebody three times in a row and you'll see you don't get a great you don't get a bigger response when you give somebody a bouquet of peonies and it just doesn't happen. When you just think there's eventually pick these things up but women are taught to be more observant about these things. Maybe because they've given more responsibility when it comes to raising children or or or because they have to they have to do more things in their life you know because they have to work twice as hard to get paid half as much. So why are you trying to start a revolution.

I wish I had the power. Good God I wish the book was I raised the book had the power to do that. I mean I think some of it's happening right now I think you have a generation of young men you know who because they were brought up with a place to hang out was a mall. You know if you want to if you want to hang out with your friends and meet girls you went to the mall. Well malls you know malls can do contain what clothing stores in department stores and you have a whole generation of men who are not afraid of shopping and know what it's like to buy. You also have a generation of people coming up now I mean you just look at the rates you know the the rise in the volume of men's wear and the amount of of cosmetic surgery that is now done on men and the huge sales increases in the sales increases in the sale of both cologne and men's skincare products. And most men these days living especially in an urban environment know these things. It's getting them to actually do it and getting them to have the confidence to

go out and do it for themselves. The thing is the information's out there I mean people with people see their TVs disseminating way too much information way too quickly. We're bombarded with something like 20 600 images a day. Men now know that if you're 45 years old you don't have to look you're halfway to the retirement home. And the point is if you want to keep your job if you want to look at attractive to your mate you want to get a mate you better look good and you better figure out how to work in a society like this in a society that it is so use of sassed my God. And it's not and it's not and I've said so much about about looking younger as it is about not being from somewhere else. My parents I guess not because I thought not. I mean I wouldn't call either one of my parents.

My parents don't go out and buy designer labels but they have a very good sense of who they are and their awareness of how to present themselves. My mother always looks well-dressed my father's you know on the golf course is always put together Need my father every for every car my father ever had was bought by the mechanic or to care of it because the car was spotless inside and out. I think you know we live in a society very often that is very guilty about possessions about having possessions and we all like to take this eastern philosophy that you know possessions are not important. Oh yes they are. You busted your ass to buy them. So why don't you keep them and the whole thing it's about having pride in what you own and having tried about the people you've surrounded yourself with and they do. My parents do. And because of that I just I mean I think that was the first and the second I think was movies because movies you know a movie set up perfect worlds and you see within certain movies things that you'd like and things that you

see. I think most of the ways that I think the way that most of us. What's the word exercise extreme emotions love hate. Fighting I think we I think we steal from the movies all the time. I think most of the time you fight with somebody you're imitating a some movie you saw on the back of your head. I think when you fall in love you want to fall in love the way people fall in love in your favorite movies. And it's how much do you want to appropriate it and if you do how would she have to make your life a little bit different than the one that's set in front of you. So you're saying it's not really a question of your discretionary income it's it's more how you owe money has nothing to do with style. Absolutely nothing. You can you can go to you can go to secondhand you can go to Banana Republic and walk out looking looking fabulous. You can take it I mean I know you probably never heard of a circle Conway's. That's a good discount store. I mean that's like everything's like made out of like tissue

paper in there and you can still walk out looking fabulous It's not about it's not about money you can have nothing but T-shirts jeans you know a decent pair of black pants and to pull over sweaters and you can have style. It's nothing to do with with what you buy it has to do with how you take care of yourself and how you take care of those you love and how you go about acquiring things that you want. Knowing how to behave towards other people. I mean the most well-dressed man in the whole world has no style as he marches out of an elevator before a woman does. It's to me it's simple common courtesy. You're in an elevator with two there three men and two women and I don't care if the women are in the back the elevator door opens a woman goes first. Why. Because they do. You know while we're all equal. No we're not all equal. Women go first That's it. That's the end of the rules. You know some things are not debatable. And good manners are not debatable.

Do you remember somebody do you remember a good friend's birthday that has nothing to do with money. I don't care if you go to the store and buy buy a car for 50 cents I don't care if you just call me up and say happy birthday I think it's you know I love you I wish you another healthy happy year. So across 18 cents of the telephone call unless it's their friends and family or whatever that they call it. But it's about it's just it's about being aware and awareness cost nothing takes a little time takes a little planning takes a little slowing down maybe picking up a pencil every now and then writing something down but it doesn't cost a dime. God has style in your book and I really think this is a good book for everybody. I do too. I mean again that's like when some people say would you do a woman's book after this. And I said my feeling was no because it's some ways it would be sort of redundant you know basically good manners go both ways you know and in the sense that women need men and women need to have

certain manners towards men and I would get us so much if style is just common sense. It's just so much about logic. And logic is not gender specific and style you know and then courtesy is not gender specific. In the 1970s and only Cho and her book looking good came out with some seasonal essentials for women. Would you suggest someone job essential. Yeah I think there are certain ones I think there are certain things you can have and so never go wrong I think every man should have a black leather jacket Christian because it feels cool it makes you feel good. I think I think black jeans are probably the easiest things in the world to pack and take because they they go everywhere. They almost do you could they could pass for almost everything. Let's see. It's a man of a lot and I can't have a lot of you know if I can pull out the you know the perfect wardrobe.

Something Kashmir the Kashmir I think is cool. A I think perfect white shirts and white perfect white shirts for me it's like you know I think white shirts look still look the best thing under suit I don't want to see little checks in them. I don't want to see tiny patterns in them I don't want why I don't why I don't want button down collars I want to slip just a beautiful beautiful white cotton shirt I think is tremendous. It's free but navy blue will create suit it will take you anywhere. I really like how comprehensive your book is Iman talks about. Now I don't want to say everything from soup to nuts because I was kind of concerned about even the luggage I mean I have a suitcase that's so hard me that I don't even want to talk and I know I would have it I mean I have I have one knapsack that I drag around with me because it's because it holds so much for the funny thing is it's the worst weighted knapsack in the universe and it's and

it's and the bags are heavy. The thing is in the big heavy I won't let you know when it's empty it's still heavy and the thing is I think again it has to do with the fact that I mean my parents are very practical people. And it's like and I know they always ask questions they always just as a lot of questions when I only buy things and hold things and I guess because when I was a kid we didn't have a lot of money so you people see didn't buy things frivolously and you asked a lot of questions before you bought anything you know if you get your money's worth. And I. Just because you know later on in life hopefully become more successful and you get more money doesn't mean you stop asking those questions and it's not about being cheap it's about things. Things are expensive these days luggage is expensive a belt is expensive. You know I think it's it. It behooves people I think it's your responsibility to understand what it is that you're buying. You know it's the same thing like a person going to a restaurant know about the thing that's in the book and you know they get a meal and they don't like it and you say and you say that you know but when you send

it back I want to make a fuss. What are you willing to spend 35 bucks on something you won't fall if you bought a jacket if you what you want to surf it if I didn't see it you give it back. Well give this back. The thing is it's understanding just like I said the best way to get your money's worth out of things and for me I mean I literally took the book I mean the book wasn't done with any market research and I didn't you know talk to people in the streets and I didn't hand out like 5000 surveys and call the numbers it's not as a cat guide you know demand style. It's simply from just one hears a difference on the earth and behavior and some of Jim Mullins I guess as well just you know what works and I guess for me style or this whole idea of behavior always did matter to me why I honestly can't give you an answer. I don't know why. When I was a kid my mom and dad used the nickname used to tease me call me Mister Manis

and you know I mean it's just I was always just very aware of how people behave towards each other. You know and just like I mean where I was if I was you know when I was a kid I would watch parents like scream at their children in the street and I found that like hideous Not because I was you know because I didn't want to get yelled at either. I just thought it was such an invasion of privacy that you would let everybody else you know see you screaming at your child. You know I'm always amazed at the things that people say to dinner table about their loved ones and each other. It's like how could you talk that way about somebody you're in love with. To strangers who are only going to use it like that. It's cocktail party conversation. It's I guess it's also it's about having a sense of discretion. It's about having awareness and a sense of discretion that you know you sort of you know have some pride in you know. When you're talking about that I was thinking about something that Miss Manners said because people always gone to her about manners and rights and she said it's really not about which Joachim's it's about how you

treat other people. Yeah I guess you know I'll go back when I think of my parents which I guess is something I left out. My parents have been married for 47 years and they're madly in love with each other and. I watch the way they treat each other. And I guess that's maybe the best lesson of all. How do you stand over somebody for 47 years unless you know how to treat another human being with the courtesy and the respect in the kindness that they deserve. And I guess it wasn't anything I sort of wrote down and you just sort of picked it up I asked MOSIS and in turn they treated their kids the same way. And I was like about 18 befire realized that people didn't have that everybody didn't have the kind of parents that I had that parents who didn't they had parents who didn't necessarily listen to the children who said you know do this because I said so and sort of like do this because it

makes sense and I'll show you why. And I guess I'm very fortunate very blessed in that sense. And luckily they're still here with me. And but it's again it wasn't anything I consciously did it just there they were and it was always about you know nobody ever said anything to do it because I said so. I was always given a reason. And so consequently I just always kept searching for reasons every time I noticed behavior and noticed people doing things like why you know why you know whole thing about like you get to a revolving door OK who should go first and why. Well a guy should go first because I'm supposed to push. I mean it's not written in stone anywhere the earth doesn't fall down if the woman goes first. But it just seems to make more sense. I weigh 200 I weigh 215 pounds you know and the average woman weighs about 130 solution be pushing me or her. You really are.

I'm I'm so serious we know the book is so smart ass the book is so far that I don't want to have to change my angle and I know and I just I thought you just asked me certain things. It's very funny I think the reason is is that I took a very light hearted approach because if I wrote about a display I don't know how many people would pay attention. I don't know how many people would buy it because it's a lot and to me the best way to get through to a very effective way to get through to people is is through a humor in that you make it you know we live in an era of people having very short attention spans and everything's supposed to have a punchline so everything's supposed to sound like like an episode of Seinfeld. And so okay fine. That's the way you want to do it. And I can do it that way too. But yeah there is there is a sort of missionary aspect about the book which I think if I let it sort of go the way maybe it's an Indian Now I don't know if you know who have gotten excited about the book it would have been like whoa. This is tough stuff. And it really isn't tough stuff. But really I think I really think that following the stuff that's in that book makes your

life better because it just makes it easier. I mean there are so many things in the world that are so tough that it's sort of this summit there's a road that really stink. I mean put it this way. Why shouldn't Life's not always a lot of fun and lots of things stink. Well why pick little things that to be so easy and make them stink too. I mean this is these are the things that you know. Buying Christmas presents shouldn't be a nightmare buying Christmas presents should be like a treat. I mean that should be it should be like you know it should be each Christmas Day should be some fabulous surprise oh my god I don't want to get in they're probably going to hate this. Come on this list be fun stuff. Valentine's Day supposed to be fun stuff. You know the summer is supposed to be fun stuff don't make these into nightmares too you got enough of your own. I don't like the part about when buying plants. Look at the bright because everybody else will that one. Yeah yeah.

Again the cars are being really you know it's really. If I said to you gotta turn around you gotta look at you know it's 360 degree Hold on one second to get rid of. You there. Yeah yeah yeah I mean the thing is but it's you know it's funny it's a joke. But the funny thing is that 50 percent of the people who see you every day see you from the other side. Damn Hold on. You know but the but the thing is you know there's a practical thing behind the joke and I think if you look at all the stuff that you know that we make that we're making fun of or poking fun of the book all of it does have a practical edge to it. Minaj but to me that's a way to make people pay attention it's like whoa. They are looking at my butt. But frankly also it's just to meet buying a pair of pants when you you know they don't sit right your butt is like it's horrible it's like why are you spending the money. Think about this yes it was also a militia. To me because I always think my shoes are going to stretch.

No not if they're good they're not citizens. It's funny. Shoes give Of course they give because you got 100 some odd pounds you know. You know a fresher you know actually more every time you walk you know pushing into the fire into the fabric each and every day. So eventually it will but the time in which it takes you especially It's one thing if you wear it you know when you're when you're when you're eight years old your mom buys you know two pairs of shoes and two pairs of sneakers and you wear the same shoes every single day. Well how many British shoes do you own. You know if that's the case if that's the case the thing is you're never going to stretch for Suze out at least not in your lifetime not anytime soon when you know when you're going to want to be wearing it with what you've got. No Clothes should fit when clothes should fit when you buy them. It's like it's like buying food that's under cooked and paying for it and sitting there and eating it well eventually you know it will be done soon under the heat of my the 98 degrees or my body will cook the rest of it when it gets on the way down. No it's supposed to fit now. Otherwise there's no point in buying anything. And shoes of course to me just because it's

not about closing it's not about something it's different than than all other forms of clothing in the sense that clothes all the clothing hangs around you. Basically you are you are in your shoes. It's really the one piece of clothing where everything's reversed. You know clothes only hang around you because gravity pulls it down. Meanwhile you're in you know the gravity is what keeps keeps you in the shoe. So it's exactly the reverse and that's why to me there's nothing dumber in the horror than buying cheap shoes. So if you just want to give someone a few words of wisdom and I'm going to write him on his butt to everybody I'm now and if you just want a few just a few things to say. What would you say if you had I mean be aware. Open your eyes be aware. Treat others the way you want to be treated and dress and dress the way you want to be treated. Because people will treat you

the way you dress if you dress like a bum you'll get treated like one. What's your next project. I don't know. Jim and I working on a TV pilot. That's what we're working on now and we'll see. Well I wish you all the best thank you so much. Are you going to have a healthy new year. Thank you.