Le Show; 2001-04-01 Elements

The president says no bud on the budget details at six back to you truck in Tyra Daniel this is a surprise brother client always a pleasure thank you well nothing to thank me for brother rather I just said hello well something about the way you said it put some berries on the cornflakes how are you William you're looking splendid well if there's anything to this medical science stuff I should what brings you to the nation's capital Daniel cherry blossoms are late this year you know you know brother plant I've always said if we could somehow harness that wood of yours you know not to fang it but just slap a saddle on its back make it safer strangers we'd have something pretty special no sir we we thought the president's second price conference was a store in a half so I just slapped on my chaps and rode down here because Daniel the news conference was yesterday I filed a package on it you ran it yes sir

fine piece of shoe leather journalism I I guess so even though I just sat there and took notes yes but that was my point to come down here day after and sniff out the mood of the place in the wake of the aftermath Daniel you're here because you wanted to get out of New York brother plant you read me like a teleprompter it's sir black rock and west 57th attorney to tabloid gossip pits and here's a reality check I happened to hail from the old school when the anchor becomes the story then the story is the anchor well I heard the rumors about Russell listen here Austin man needs to do what he has to do to get a raise out of general electric I can't blame him for starting that rumor any more than the Perry dog can blame the diamond back for eating him well the Perry dogs not really that vengeful a critter anyway is it no sir good point and well taken but let me give it to you drug cops straight and

armadillo hide tough this umbrae is going to be anchoring evening news on his 70th birthday and you can take that to the bank sign it over and get a monster home loan against it well I think all the stories I read mentioned that but you know that's October and uh sweeps months comes right after it and uh you know November is very pretty somewhere in the world besides Daniel I remember back after election I you're the one talking about getting out of here before the Yankee home opener further planted was the meds well you're not going to hear it nobody from within hailing distance of Brasow's county rooting for anybody called Yankee but seriously house sure I was talking about resigning on principle but that was when I thought they knew they needed me now now that I've seen how this organization chose to make the kind of responses that would keep this story going longer than a pubic shave at a barber college I'm going out of CBS news one way only boots on and toes tagged that's that's another way of saying dead yes sir thank you

Dan look can I be candid with you evening news isn't where you want to be anymore you know what's happening the the evening news franchise is being devalued by cable by the internet by our own people I mean you saw you it's suggestion that the three networks collaborate on a single newscast yes sir I made no to that I wonder who he thinks is experienced and talented enough to executive produce that mythical super broadcast exactly but it's not going to happen no sir although I must admit it would be a single malt kick to see this particular face on NBC's air as well oh well you know brother he would deny like this still well then that's where you go back to 60 I mean he'd love to have you back and at your age you'd young up that place brother plant if this was about me I'd be back to 60 quicker than a fruit flies love life but sir please and hear me out I'm hope I'm not using your computer it's it's fine day I just had to finish these promos before

we lose the satellite no problem you still write your own promos when I'm mad it relaxes me but William please you saw those internet suggestions for people to replace me russard dianne soyer did you notice something about them most of them would have to take a salary cut to replace you besides that well most of them except for your previously anointed successor don't work for CBS news bingo and double bingo I've been bitching for years at this place as bench was weaker than the real calf in a hillstorm now that particular chicken is coming home to roost and it's not bringing eggs well it may be bringing ham look you see here's my problem brother plant uh-huh I care too much I've given too many years not to CBS news sir please I'm not that stupid but to the idea of CBS news the idea of a place that whether it's owned by a Westinghouse or a viacom or a pack up of rabid kuhn dog still maintains a semblance of the standards it was founded on

a place that no matter who pays its mortgage still thinks of itself as the house merrill built uh-huh now if I have to stay at it a little longer and a little later into life's final segment the nunchle water did and put off the yachting and the golf playing until I'm too old to do it maybe that's the price I have to pay for keeping that dream alive well what I'm saying if you could keep it alive doing hard hitting pieces for 60 men and and you wouldn't have to spend half your day doing promos for for channel 67 in western south Dakota William somebody has to keep an America a living breathing piece of appointment journalism somebody has to care about the reality check in the bottom line otherwise they're just going to turn into gimmicks like brother brokaw's in depth and lifelines yeah hey you know listen sir just coming back here and DC it to a real newsroom a place that reads the fire of breaking stories and war with press secretaries I know you see it every day but it just renews my drive to to go back to that celebrity farm in

New York Daniel this game was over the day you let them die your hair on the contrary service game began the day they let me go gray I could never win the battle to be glimmer boy of the evening news with my dark brooding kind of good looks but now it's about trusting an uncertain media environment and that's a tune I was built to play all right brother rather I am behind you all the way and please don't ask me to demonstrate that support in any way that our fearless leader would notice okay all right sir I'll be off your computer in two shakes of a pig snap it's fine I'm just ordering some wine you shifters desk take it easy Daniel you be good William he's concerned about the vice president a chainy reaction join me tomorrow at 5.30 now back to you Steve and Heather he lived to rent silence my fellows what about this he who steals my purse steals trash

but he who steals my stash is worse keep a round of bon water for the house he lived to love well where are we running to the stables my dear my kingdom for a horse to move over Jesus am I blessed but just a few miles away life looked very different this shipment was going straight to England one of us has to go to this address yes yes the one that can be trusted mm-hmm we may be here for a while and when the drug loving writer and so the king says where is this bud of avon and I say not bud bud meets the world's first drug cops

freeze and stay away from that cesspool it's Shakespeare in traffic two Oscar sequels join forces for one blockbuster follow up Joseph finds Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas as the actor no no no it's all wrong mr. Shakespeare maybe I could remember these lines if you tried writing when you were straight I mean get help man go to a bleeder when the fun stops the fear begins Shakespeare in traffic only in theaters this summer get Shakespeare in traffic discount coupons at autozone while theaters last