Le Show; 2002-11-03

From deep inside your radio. You now hope that you've served in your hand. No, it's not the Eurovision Song Contest again, ladies and gentlemen. Come from everywhere across the land. It's the official theme of the track competition. The stars are shining bright. Of the 1984 Olympic. And now it's up to New York to come up with music even worse. Yes, New York City is one. Oh, thank you very much. New York City is one the right to represent the United States. Big surprise. San Francisco would have had another earthquake to even be in the competition.

We all know that you couldn't say that, but it was true. Everybody knew it. Yeah, San Francisco is very cute. Thank you. Thank you very much. New York. These are the Olympics of 2012, ladies and gentlemen. That's all. Imagine there's going to be an Olympics in 2012. Oh, no, the security bill won't exceed the gross national product. The world, of course, not. But listen to the competition. I mean, New York won the right. This is like the Democrats who were favored to be elected governors in some big states this year. And we'll get for their punitive success. The responsibility of taking the blame for huge state deficits that are in the offing. Anyway, New York wins the right to compete against. I mean, you know, other years you compete against Beijing or Mexico City or Athens. Here's the competition for New York.

Paris, London and Moscow. You know, the New Yorkers like to say, the greatest city in the world. Why? Who could compare? How about Paris, London and Moscow? Well, I'm Paris and London, at least. My bad ladies and gentlemen, well, let's see. Athens hasn't in 2004. That's Europe, Atlanta. Just had it a couple years ago. Bet on Moscow. I'm sorry. That's the way that, that's the way that game works. Speaking of which, ladies and gentlemen, we like, we like to analogize our politics to athletic competitions. At least we guys do. So here's how it looks. The Republicans in 2002, now the party that has the incompancy in the White House, enjoys the incompancy in the White House, historically always loses seats in Congress in the midterm election. That's just the way it goes. So the expectation was with a bad economy and that historical tilt, the Democrats would do very well in both the House and the Senate races this year.

It doesn't seem to be turning out that way, as of this weekend everybody's saying too close to call. The Republicans who have adopted a strategy of just pounding it down to the big man, IE the president, and letting him grind it out, flying around the country and just saying, give me my Senate, I want my Senate. The Republican strategy is basically the Pat Riley New York Knicks, Win Ugly. The Democrats, with a lot of talent, and a lot of money, no real game plan, they're the Clippers. Hello, welcome to the show. I saw her Sunday,

down by the breakers, she drove right by me, I was stunned to realize that she was riding with that dime a dozen guys. I was stunned to realize that she was riding with that dime a dozen guys. The Republicans who have adopted a strategy of just pounding it down to the big man, IE the president, and letting him grind it out, flying around the country and just saying, give me my Senate, I want my Senate, I want my Senate, I want my Senate, I want my Senate, I want my Senate, I want my Senate, I want my Senate, I want my Senate, I want my Senate, I want my Senate, because I was locked up, killed as two. I disobeyed on her, it's true. Now I realize I wasted something that I care about,

that's why I'm good. He's not good looking, and least I don't think so. I just can't figure any earthly reason why a girl like her would choose that diamond doesn't guide. Is there something about him that my eyes don't see if I'm not mistaken then there's no way to deny that I've been left in the dust for a diamond doesn't guide. He will. Right now it's feeling pretty real.

To hang my heart out on this limb. Now I realize I wasted something that I care about, that's why I'm good. I saw her Sunday, down by the breakers, a sheetroll right past me, smiling she will find another girl in love with a diamond doesn't guide. Where is the diamond now? I saw her Sunday, down by the breakers,

a sheetroll right past me, smiling she will find another girl in love with a diamond doesn't guide. Where is the green in the leaf? Where is the movement in the molecules? Where is the oven the beat? Where is the thrill in the chill of the night? Where is the bee in the sting? When did the earth lose circumference? When did the map lose relief? Where is the salt in the tea in my eye? Where is the cold in the pot?

Where is the sense in the common? Where is the time in the rag? Where is the play in the van again? Where is the soul in the food? When did the second hand slacken? When did the burn lose the sun? Where is the dawn in the break of the day? I'm lost in this love. Where is the ring in the truth? Where is the pearl in the looser? Where is the pill when they talk? Where is the friend in the girl in the boy?

Where is the heart in the egg? Where is the snap in the dragon? When did the dust lose the star? When did the mind lose the peace in the frame? Where is the cream in the mess? Where is the sky in the scraper? Where is the home in the run? Where is the wind in the town in the down? Where is the grin in the slam? Where is the sweet in the bitter? When did the tap lose the dance? When did the night lose the good in the ground? I'm lost in this love. I'm lost in this love. I'm lost, lost, lost in this love. Where are you going?

Where are you going? Where is the secret? Where are you going? Where have you gone? Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going? Where will you go? Where have you gone? Where have you gone? Where are you going? The far away and Africa, Africa

they're saying a big, a big, a big go they have a ball and it really goes Go here! take a trip to Africa, all the way to Africa come on along and learn a lane, go inside the jungle, bungalow, go here and school kids, go kids, go kids, go kids you go kids, you nobody can you go kids, you go kids you go kids, you nobody can take a trip to Africa, you need to ship to Africa school kids happy, happy, happy come on, I beg of you, I beg of you, I beg of you, I beg of you go here, the hot drums are drumming the hot strings are strumming the warm lips are blissful

it's blissful, I'm going here from the edge of America, from the home of the homeless I'm Harry Shira, welcoming you to this show we are in November, think of it here are some indicative quotes uttered this week, give you some idea of what a wonderful business, what a wonderful business show is all from the New York Times, oddly enough first from an article about the problems and possible advantages of AOL being in both the cable business and the programming business so they're both in the position of saying to consumers hey get our new digital set top boxes that allow you to skip commercials and oh please don't skip the commercials that's theft both both the utterances coming out of the same corporate mouth here is one Warner Brothers executive, one time Warner executive

Bruce Rosenblum, executive vice president for television at Warner Brothers says he's eager to work with his sister company Time Warner cable but he said he shares Jamie Kelner who said skipping commercials is theft he says he shares those concerns about commercial skipping noting that Warner has responsibility to producers writers directors and actors who receive some of the revenue from its shows that's why they don't want you to skip commercials because they care about the actors and in a piece about the rap music industry the New York Times quotes Bert Padel an accountant whose clients include Madonna run DMC and others quote companies make out well managers make out well artists don't make up but don't make out well, unquote and in the same article Hillary Rosen

the head of the Recording Industry Association who was blamed the recent slump in record sales in congressional testimony in court documents all over the place blamed the CD sales slump on the internet and on people stealing songs on the internet she blames rap recent sales slump on its success as its influence spread fans could get hip-hop flavors from rocker pop albums so she didn't blame the internet for the slump and rap just for the slump and the sales of all the other crap all right then you know what kind of a business we're in ladies and gentlemen the Catholic diocese of Stockton is reorganizing its corporate structure to protect its assets against future lawsuits month senior Richard Ryan the diocese the diocese can you tell i'm not a Catholic the diocese's vicar it's too early and it's too late

vicar general and second in command behind bishops Steven Blair Blair with an e by the way said the purpose of the reorganization is to protect individual parishes in the event of a civil lawsuit the move comes just months after a diocese priest pleaded guilty in criminal court to molesting a teenage boy for more than two years it's probably not related oh it also comes as the Roman Catholic Church nationally battles allegations of past sexual abuse by parishioners by clergy members and cities like Boston and Los Angeles there are no cities like Boston and Los Angeles but you know what i mean individual local parishes under the new plan would each be considered separate legal entities according to month senior Ryan it's unfair to an individual parish especially when engaged in fundraising for new buildings to have its assets placed at risk because of a lawsuit against the diocese yeah we don't have those buildings threatened by damage claims for child abuse would we i'm sorry to have to underline that for your ladies and gentlemen you got it anyway the Canadian government has issued a travel advisory to a

sit it citizens about visiting the united states all right that's it this is war close the border ship them all back more jobs for americans let's go out now because of tighten border controls in america canadians born in some middle eastern country should now think carefully before entering the united states autoa says out of a we can't tell the americans what to do in their own territory what we're telling them is we don't accept this and we find it very troubling said it canadians spokesperson american border regulations now require people born in iran iraq libya sudan or syria be photographed in fingerprinted as they enter the u.s even if they're full citizens of other countries like canada assuming that canada is a country of course that's prompted the travel warning from the canadian government this weekend advised it citizens who were born in any of those five countries to consider carefully whether they should attempt to enter the u.s. for any reason including transit to or from third countries

canadian parliament members accused washington of harrowing arab canadians one syrian born member of parliament said that american rules make him a second-class canadian that is way down on the total pay if you're a second-class canadian out oh that's got a sting canadian foreign minister bill gram not the same one it didn't leave the concert promotion business to become canadian foreign minister don't go there said he's already registered his strongest disapproval to you u.s. secretary state colon paul who doesn't have anything else to think about he added he believes changes will be made to the american policy when common sense prevails let's see that should be about two thousand forty eight the american regulations come as a convenient target for canadian politician who's since growing unease amongst canadians with u.s. policy in the middle east many canadians also worry about increased delays at the border which can be expensive for their export businesses

like they haven't had a free ride till now okay sorry canada it's a separate country they can do what they want but um... but we love them anyway now ladies and gentlemen um it's been too long and it'll be too long again but it's time now for a copyrighted feature of this broadcast yes you heard it be attempted to be ripped off by certain other public radio broadcasts but they've given up and we're still here tales of airport security for your listening pleasure ladies and gentlemen on my way to london recently this is a listener writing the listener

ap not the wire service this is the initials of listener on my way to london recently during a random luggage hand search at oh hair airport the security agent found among my possessions an object which sheep perceived to be a threat might pencil sharpener it was nothing special just one of those small metal stick your pencil in it and twist pencil sharpeners but she withdrew it from my pencil box gingerly as though it might go off at any moment you can't bring this with you on the plane she said you'll have to check it but i objected it's just a pencil sharpener this is a blade sir her elaborately illustrated faux fingernail pointed to the one centimeter blade contained within the sharpener just barely i commented you'll have to leave it here or check it i pointed out you must realize that a sharp pencil is a much better weapon

than a pencil sharpener i didn't mention that her fingernails would likely be an even better weapon still you'll have to leave it here or check it i suppressed the urge to ask you might if i at least sharpen a few pencils first and so found myself escorted by a camouflage clad military man with our automatic rifle slung over his shoulder back to the check-in desk where my pencil sharpener was tagged and checked through to london my destination it was the sole piece of luggage i checked on that flight following which with a pencil box full of sharp pencils and two hands replete with fingernails i passed once more through security and boarded the plan Richard in Oakland writes i flew out of Long Beach recently after checking bags and doing security i located the temporary building that housed my gate during my short weight

the staff at the gate repeatedly requested any persons who had not been through security to go through it now after about two seconds of pondering it became clear that this is the most futile act ever attempted in airline security the folks who would voluntarily go back to security are of course not a threat in those who might be a threat are certainly not going back Diana writes i travel quite a bit doing morning talk shows all across the country as gadget girl and because my segments often involve prototypes of high-end electronics i am always frisked i also carry a wig case with a platinum blonde wig often after the security personnel have finished gawking and asking me how the heck does this work or gee this looks kind of strange they then move on to the wig case at many of the security stands i end up putting on short demos of the product but when the wig case is opened most of the people stand back as if it's going to explode

i have resorted to carrying an eight by ten photo of me in the gadget girl character when passenger was having his bare feet scanned asked hey what about her wig she's going incognito i think if i were trying to disguise myself it wouldn't be with a platinum fifties style flip wig dear harry mad writes i'm in the air force it was coming back from three months service in afghanistan when my homeward bound trip took me through baltimore washington international bwi i dreaded it because of several other other trips brought ostensibly in the name of freedom each time i've come home my first taste of the good old us a has been to descend into the heart of darkness of one or another incompetent airport screening checkpoints but this story is one of hope we'd just taken a 40 hour plane trip into baltimore and i stopped to get a coke from a slurpee type place just outside the bwi security area because they normally sell slurpee type frozen drinks the cup i

was given was plastic thin seven eleven cup type plastic not coffee mug thick plastic with perhaps five sips taken i got into the security line which moved much faster than i expected upon getting to the front i realized that the bwi security was now manned by new federal screeners they were relatively young most looked to be in decent shape or all at least reasonably alert and appeared to be intent on their jobs in short they were a group of people i would have no problem holding up to foreigners as average americans versus the list list distracted confused sirly often catterwalling and usually morbidly obese americans who usually stock privately run security checkpoints even the uniforms of my federal screeners look pressed and not nylon my tax money at work i was so impressed by the near professionalism of the screeners who even had a complicated system of multi checkpoints and traffic flow going that i let it pass when i was sent back out of line courteously because plastic cups are verboten i had to return to the slurpee place where the clerk admitted i wasn't the first

and get a paper cup for my soda armed only with a paper cup i returned to the checkpoint straight to the front of the line and pass through without incident thanks mat see we bring you the darkness ladies and gentlemen but we bring you the light that's why it's a copy of the feature i don't know if living makes me happy i don't think that anything's exactly what it needs to be when it comes to me she's a god to me oh wait it for so long

i don't know if living makes my sense now i can't say a thing in its defense now because it gets to me that i used to be so it's a sensory i knew it all over one nothing could go on oh when i look into those eyes

now it seems like a surprise when i look into those eyes now it seems like a surprise i don't think the living's too attractive i don't think that god is interactive and it gets to me that i used to be so it's a sensory

i knew it all over one nothing could go on nothing could go on nothing could go on this is La Show and remember a couple of years ago when after the 2000 election we were assured that top of the top of the pile for achievement in the ensuing weeks and months was election reform yeah we've we've heard so much about that ever since i know it's been on the top of my list just right after campaign finance reform which is working really well because there's so so little trash money being spent on trash commercials this cycle or next cycle or the cycle after that so we're we're coming up to an election

where very little has changed and basically the main strategy for avoiding the kind of um debacle that occurred two years ago is um well is a a large number of crossed fingers to avoid something like this i'm right here yeah i took the bus down today although there'd been plenty time well i got me to the polling place i got me to the poll oh i found myself about it but i just could not find the hole i only knew i screwed up

when i saw it on the news oh i saw it on the news this the bushes got a boil i got the butterfly ballot blues i got the blues now bush was in the pop slot now door was number two oh yeah i voted for pet and i won angry dude i was looking for an outcome all i get is not stop smooth not stop smooth it's giving me an ulcer i got the butterfly ballot blues now wait a minute they said they use it in Chicago that's a point of pride i can't confuse a voter when it's six months since i died i was running this election

i go home and hide just think i was strange i feel dizzy jackson on my side so i'm sitting on a park bench talking to the tv crews so many crews you know i'd rather play canaster but i got those butterfly ballot blues now one more thing before i go you can butterfly my lab jobs with a crispy crusty coat you can butterfly my bandanes just don't butterfly my vote my grandson thinks i'm stupid so i need a couple of blues who doesn't need blues who don't have to be in all the kaka to have the butterfly ballot blues it's got me switching

the butterfly ballot blues i think i heard my stuff blues blues blues blues blues blues and now ladies and gentlemen let's outcross our fingers and i'll read the trades for you blues blues blues couple items this week first from prepared foods magazine blues blues low carb beer goes national blues blues blues blues blues blues blues

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