Le Show; 2001-03-04; 2001-03-11

With a repeat broadcast, the following Saturday evening at 7, right here on 89.9 KCRW. I'm Tom Schnabel. Please join me every Sunday from noon till 2 on Cafe LA in here Jazz, World, Latin, Brazilian and the latest releases from all over the world. Cafe LA Sundays noon till 2 here on 89.9 KCRW. Well, we'll do that. But Chris, in the meantime, when can we expect the next news from National Public Radio here on KCRW? We can expect that at 5 o'clock weekend, all things considered. Does that mean you'll actually be here or we just be sitting there expecting it? We're expecting it. Yeah. Okay. It's like the rain. We're expecting it. It'll probably be here. Correct. Yeah. Alright, that's 5 o'clock today for all things considered, right? Chris, did I hear you correctly? You did hear me correctly. Thank you. That's 5 o'clock. Chris ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much. In 10 seconds, it will be Pacific, it will be 10 a.m. Pacific Standard Time. The hell am I talking about?

It's time for a show. No, I'm here. I was just thinking, you know, how a person does sometimes. So ladies and gentlemen, first of all, today, for everybody who falls on that just stumbles onto that media-induced, media-driven bandwagon about, oh, how awful that M&M is, and I'm not endorsing M&M. You know, if you've actually heard the record, there's some good stuff on it. Anyway, for those who were falling into that particular parade, this from one of the stories about the alleged FBI spy, the guy about whom George W. Bush said at his first press conference, I'm glad they caught the spy. Well, he hasn't been tried and convicted yet, but the alleged spy, Robert Hansen, who spent

what, 15 years as an FBI counterintelligence agent and was a double counterintelligence agent, may have even tipped off the Russians to the fact that the FBI had a secret tunnel under the Russian embassy. Anyway, here's the point. He says in a letter quoted in the 100-page affidavit filed in the case, Hansen says the alleged FBI spy. Glad we caught the spy. The alleged spy says, quote, I decided on this course of action when I was 14 years old. I'd read British double agent Kim Philby's book, unquote. He decided to be a trader and alleged a counter spy against his own country, ladies and gentlemen, when he was 14 years old, if only his parents had sent him to an M&M concert. Get that stuff out of his system early. You know, the tunnel might have been undevolged to this day. So just something to think about.

14 year old boys aren't doing good stuff in any case. They might as well be at M&M concerts. You might as well be listening to M&M records. Now speaking of good citizens, ladies and gentlemen, it has come to my attention that this week will mark the 70th birthday. He doesn't look a day over 74. The 70th birthday of Rupert Murdoch. And for all his contributions, you know, the taking over of newspapers around the world, the amassing of a global satellite system, and it's cowtowing to the Chinese. And you know, everything else that he does. I'm going to go on record right now and say, sitting right here, sitting right here on the table, $1 million as a birthday present for Rupert. I know it sounds goofy. I know it sounds whack as I say it. I can't help myself. Just on behalf of the world, a grateful and grateful and thankful world, $1 million sitting right here as a 70th birthday present to Rupert Murdoch. And in honor of the way that he likes to do business, that present will be payable on his

94th birthday. Hello, welcome to the show. I'm going to go on record right here as a 70th birthday present for Rupert Murdoch. I'm going to go on record right here as a 70th birthday present to Rupert Murdoch. I'm going to go on record right here as a 70th birthday present to Rupert Murdoch. I'm going to go on record right here as a 70th birthday present to Rupert Murdoch.

I'm going to go on record right here as a 70th birthday present to Rupert Murdoch. I'm going to go on record right here as a 70th birthday present to Rupert Murdoch. I'm going to go on record right here as a 70th birthday present to Rupert Murdoch. I'm going to go on record right here as a 70th birthday present to Rupert Murdoch.

I'm going to go on record right here as a 70th birthday present to Rupert Murdoch. I'm going to go on record right here as a 70th birthday present to Rupert Murdoch. I'm going to go on record right here as a 70th birthday present to Rupert Murdoch. I'm going to go on record right here as a 70th birthday present to Rupert Murdoch.

I'm going to go on record right here as a 70th birthday present to Rupert Murdoch. I want you. Let me tell you about it. I won't tell you about it. Let me tell you I've been going.

I'm going to go on record right here as a 70th birthday present to Rupert Murdoch. I'm going to go on record right here as a 70th birthday present to Rupert Murdoch. I'm going to go on record right here as a 70th birthday present to Rupert Murdoch. I'm going to go on record right here as a 70th birthday present to Rupert Murdoch.

I'm going to go on record right here as a 70th birthday present to Rupert Murdoch. I'm going to go on record right here as a 70th birthday present to Rupert Murdoch. I'm going to go on record right here as a 70th birthday present to Rupert Murdoch. I'm going to go on record right here as a 70th birthday present to Rupert Murdoch.

I'm going to go on record right here as a 70th birthday present to Rupert Murdoch. I'm going to go on record right here as a 70th birthday present to Rupert Murdoch. I'm going to go on record right here as a 70th birthday present to Rupert Murdoch. I'm going to go on record right here as a 70th birthday present to Rupert Murdoch.

I'm going to go on record right here as a 70th birthday present to Rupert Murdoch. I'm going to go on record right here as a 70th birthday present to Rupert Murdoch. I'm going to go on record right here as a 70th birthday present to Rupert Murdoch. I'm going to go on record right here as a 70th birthday present to Rupert Murdoch.

I'm going to go on record right here as a 70th birthday present to Rupert Murdoch. I'm glad that you're sorry. Hello, welcome to the show from the edge of America from the home of the homeless. I'm Harry Scherer kicking another one off.

I can't what can more can I tell you that's that's full disclosure as full of disclosure is going to get, but it was some funny stuff, you know, saw some funny stuff and saw some funny stuff, some other funny stuff. And Aspen, Colorado, you know, it's just it's it's the most Gucci'd up ski town you'll ever see in your life, but you knew that. Founded by two people from Chicago. Did you know that? Not bet you didn't. I was tipped off to that by the Midwest ask, but but really who cares. Ladies, gentlemen, news of defense. First of all, I'm sure it's come to your attention by now. I just want to emphasize the parent that a couple of weeks ago when as George W. Bush said in his first press conference, we sent a message to Iraq to Saddam Hussein. The message was sent by way of what we're described at the time as precision bombs.

The aircraft dropped precision bombs. Most of those precision bombs missed their targets. But I so I guess the precision is how they leave the aircraft, not necessarily how they land. They they were very precise in leaving the aircraft. None of them accidentally blew a new hole in the plane on their way out. That's precision. You see, and that sends a message. Really, you know, what kind of a message is it send to Saddam Hussein? We're we're dropping precision bombs on you. Most of them will miss best regards. But, you know, it's a message. Also of Pentagon-related news. This in guess today's New York Times for those who needed it re-emphasized. Only days before the sinking of a Japanese trawler off Pearl Harbor, the captain of the submarine Greenville canceled a longer training exercise as unnecessary, but he still took a submarine out on February 9th, the day of the accident, only to accommodate the Navy's efforts to promote itself, according to officials in Honolulu.

Excuse me. I had a time broke on moment. Commander Scott Waddle. No, that's too bad. Used his discretion as the Greenville's captain to cancel the long scheduled exercise, but his superiors in the Navy's specific fleet saw it as a chance to give a group of 16 civilians a once in a lifetime ride aboard a nuclear-powered submarine and were loathed to let them down. Were it not for the civilians of Greenville would not have let's its birth at the Pearl Harbor Naval Station in the first place officials in Honolulu say there was no other reason to be out there. One person briefed on the parliament. This is preliminary naval inquiry said. The court investigating the accident will focus on the Navy's extensive efforts to build public support by taking civilians known in naval parlance as DVs. Distinguished visitors aboard the world's premier warships and strutting their stuff. The practice has been growing, especially in the submarine fleet.

The nine people, some of them are high school students who are missing and presumed dead, perished so that the Navy could show off a submarine to some civilian visitors basically building up goodwill support for its efforts. Basically, the nine people did not die in vain. They died so that the defense budget could be preserved. To me, that's got to make the survivor's hearts swell with pride. Following on the New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani's call for a decency panel, he got ticked off at a painting in the Brooklyn Museum depicting a black woman attending the last supper, the woman self-portured by the artist. He got ticked off at that and announced to the derision of people like me from here in Southern California, which used to be Hicksville, Roobesville until that whole thing moved in New York.

It got disnified, don't you know, and part of disnification is having a decency panel so that Mayor announced there's going to be a decency panel. He says, now we've made progress in forming the decency panel, though we won't say who's going to serve on it. He might ask the Cardinal, Cardinal said, I'll be looking at that. Of course, the Cardinal here in LA wrote a letter suggesting the Bill Clinton pardon the Carlos Vignoli who was convicted of drugs muggling. So the Cardinal may want to look at it more than once. The question is whether the question raised by the New York Times, whether the mayor of one of the most culturally sophisticated cities in the world, don't you know? Excuse me, excuse the heck out of me, can find enough people of stature to take part in a decency commission. Says the president of the American Association of Museums to find people who would be willing to serve as an effect sensors would be extremely difficult. I'd try the TV networks, but those guys are all here in Los Angeles.

They'd commute, they'd commute to censor on another coast, wouldn't they? He is, Giuliani has not yet explained publicly how the decency panel would work. Giuliani apparently told another city official that he wanted to model his panel on a federal one. The mayor says one exists in Washington. The other city official was quoted as saying yesterday the chairman of the National Endowment of the Arts said that there was no decency panel at his agency. Our panels are not decency panels. But you know, what's a statement or two when you're when you're promoting decency as opposed to just pardoning people now. The, the, the watermelon Dan held is, is committee held hearings this week this past week on the Clinton pardons. Clinton's White House counsel chief of staff and special counsel Bruce Lindsay knows where all the bodies are buried. All testified that they opposed the mark rich pardon.

And that's pretty much the news. I mean, we learned that Tony Rodham, another brother-in-law advocated some pardons, but did not take a fee unlike you, Rodham, who took a $400,000 fee and had to give it back. But the news that I thought was was on this whole pardon thing is just the most interesting news for those who are of a mind to believe that Bill Clinton was in the selling of pardons business is that the biggest contributor asking for a pardon by far was Los Angeles supermarket king Ron Berkel. If you got to be king of anything, I say be king of supermarkets because people got to eat. Ron Berkel has given his contributions to Bill Clinton and the Clinton library and the Clinton bathroom and the Clinton everything. His contributions dwarf those of Denise rich. We're not allowed to say that his contributions little people those of Denise rich. You see what I'm saying. Ron Berkel, the supermarket king. Very heavily lobbied Bill Clinton for a pardon for Michael Milken who did not get pardoned.

So if Clinton was in the selling of pardons business, there was where that's where the money was. My favorite story that's emerged about Bill Clinton and his post presidential era is the story of Harry Thomas and his friend, his Hollywood producer friend, who was having a, now I know this is, I know it's going to be hard for some of you to believe that this sort of thing exists in show business. But he was having a dispute over money with the head of a television network. I, yeah, please just suspend disbelief. Just use your imaginations. Harry Thomas and who produced designing women and a few other shows was having a dispute over money. I, the words are freezing in my mouth as I say them because it sounds so improbable a dispute over money with less with CBS. The Columbia broadcasting cinnamon and Harry Thomas, and as you know, long time friend of Bill Clinton, the man who counseled Bill Clinton to wag his finger and say, I've not had sexual relations with that woman.

So, you know, somebody owes somebody something Bill Clinton months before he left office placed a phone call to less moon vis the president of the CBS television network. We don't know exactly what he said, but soon after less, less cut a check and Harry got his money. Last, come on, you know, do the right thing. Be a manch, baby, something like that. I, you know, it midst all the controversy and criticism. All I can say is, I've never been a supporter. I've never been, and I've just been a satirist. I've just made fun in, in the spirit of, you know, making fun of the people who have the guns at any given point in time. But Mr. Clinton, if you, there's a couple of people I'd like you to call, if you're in the, if, if, you know, you got the time, you could make the couple calls for me. It would really, you know, same sort of deal. Really. Hey, speaking of which Hollywood power broker Michael Ovitz and his wife,

I see no reason to mention his wife's name on the air, have purchased a Beverly Hills home in the $6 million range. That's a nice range. The super agent turned supermanager and his wife who breeds horses on a couple's 90 acre ranch in Ohio. They breed horses, don't they? Have long had a home in the west side, but they always wanted a view. You mean it's taken this long for Mike Ovitz to get a view? Give me a break. The guy virtually ran show business in the, in the 80s and 90s. He ran Disney, well, he virtually ran, he tried to, he didn't get to run Disney for about a year and a half, got a 90 million dollar. Goodbye payment from Disney. You mean all that time he didn't have a view? He could have told any, any of his clients move out. I'm taking your house. I got you the movie. I got you the 20 mil. I need a view. I'm sorry. This is just, I am, as they say in Britain, gobsmacked. The property they just bought is on more than two acres with city to ocean views, a tennis court, a pool, cabanhas, and a guest house.

Well, I'd like to visit. I'd like to stay a couple days. I'd like to, I'd like to see his view. However, yeah, however, the main house, a three bedroom nearly 5,000 square foot traditional built in the 1940s. Traditional what? What does that mean? Traditional, traditional house. It's got rooms and roof, traditional. When I say ladies and gentlemen, his house is traditional. Does that bring any metal image to mind? Best place for metal images, by the way, is the mind. The house, the main house is in need of a total renovation. It is expected to be torn down. So he'll just have the view now. Previously, he had a house in no view. Now he'll have the view. You know, life is trade-offs. All of its dream is to have a house designed by I.M. Pay, according to local realtors. They were now to architect 83 years old, has designed only a couple of houses among them his own. Oh, that's a different piece. That's a different subject all together. All right. So who, ladies and gentlemen, just conceive of it. Mike Ovitz never had a view. I have a short list here of people who never had a view, but I never thought that Mike Ovitz would be on that list.

There is so much to talk about in the world of digital television. Let's get into it. What do you say? First of all, Senator John McCain held a hearing this week. Be rating the television industry for not making the 2006 deadline for completing the transition from analog to digital. I think he said something about a snowball in Arizona. I said, there's a snowball's chance in Arizona that the deadline will be met. So, John McCain blames the broadcasters for dragging their feet on the transition to digital television. Now, you know, we've talked about the whole thing about digital television. Why? Why one might drag their feet and buying one? There's a matter of fact.

Numbers, how many digital, how many digital TV viewers are there? The Paxon Communications Company has a TV station called WCPX DT. That's their digital station. I don't know where that's located, but it's somewhere. It goes without saying. They have offered to give $500 to the first person watching their digital channel who calls up. According to Lowell Paxon who owns the company, quote, not even a clerk in a television store is called. That's how many people are watching digital. They're giving away $500 to the first caller who's watching on the digital channel. Nobody's called yet. Oh, some folks are coming in. Welcome. What is it? We're doing your tour here. These are the master control studios where equipment doesn't work. And over here. This is, to me, the most interesting story on the digital television front this week. Aside from the one I wrote in the industry standard magazine, which I think is still on the stands. But anyway, this is news. A press release.

From Los Alamos National Laboratory, you know, the nuclear weapon guys. We're the nuclear weapons guys. Scientists at the Department of Energy's Los Alamos National Laboratory have developed a technology that could make the transition from analog to digital television easier. Technology is a new transmission algorithm capable of compressing a high definition TV data stream to the point where that signal and the analog signal, the signal you receive now, can be broadcast over the same channel. This would obviate the need for the broadcaster to have two channels, one analog and one digital, which they do now, which is what tick off, ticks off people like John McCain so much. It permits broadcasting television networks to avoid spending millions of dollars on transmission systems for both analog and digital signals says George Nichol at Los Alamos, the developer of the algorithm, those potential savings could help stimulate a more rapid acceptance of this technology. It permits transmission of both signals in a form that does not require a converter for old receivers. See, so you wouldn't have to buy a new set the way you do now.

The use of this scheme would supplement the current format. This is all the good news being announced by Los Alamos. It's the result of compression research initially conducted for image processing used in underground nuclear testing. That's right. See, a nice little spin off from dropping from blowing up bombs underground. We had to look at them. A patent application has been filed. Alright, so that's the news release from Los Alamos. So it sounded like, well, here's the log jam being broken. You don't have to buy a new TV set. Broadcasters don't have to buy a new transmission. I was just in Colorado. The Denver stations haven't even started building their towers for broadcasting their digital signals yet because they can't find a place to put the towers. See, this would obviate all of that. Okay. So now comes a on the internet, a letter from the publisher of HDTV magazine, who says he called George Nichol, the engineer at Los Alamos, who devised the system that's the subject of the press release. He, George Nichol said that he was an outsider to broadcasting was just tinkering around with some ideas, formed when making that system for remotely monitoring nuke, nuke shots, which are no longer conducted at Los Alamos, by the way.

He had already talked with somebody from the FCC and a representative of the broadcasters committee that set standards for digital television, both of whom told him politely. There would be quote little to no interest in his system at this stage of the game, unquote. Of course, what is this stage of the game? This stage of the game is no game. Except for no testing had been done on the system, just lab based theoretical calculations. So he and Mr. Nichol said he had no peer review of his system. And from what he has now learned, he realizes it is going absolutely nowhere. So hope, no hope. No hope. No hope. No hope. No hope. And finally on the top of the digital news. This is just the best. This just tells you what a wonderful world we're entering. The role has devised a way to stop televisions, cell phones and VCRs from working. If they have been bought on the gray market, this is from New Scientist magazine. The technique allows manufacturers to shut down unofficially. This isn't stolen goods.

These aren't black market. This isn't, you know, from a guy out of the trunk of a car. This is just not through the normal channels of distribution. Maybe you save a few bucks. Manufacturers can shut down unofficially imported electronic goods. Manufacturers often set different prices for their goods in different countries. Unofficial importers can undercut these prices. Now Motorola's European research laboratory has found a way to thwart these imports by fitting equipment with a device that secretly checks where it is. The plan is to embed chips into TVs and cell phones that are either linked to the network of global positioning satellites or a program to identify the signal transmitted by broadcasters. If the chip detects that the machine it's in is somewhere outside a pre-programmed region, the equipment will stop working and be rendered useless according to the company's patent. This is taking the DVD region coding where you can legally buy DVD and legally buy a machine and then take them somewhere else and they won't work.

One wonderful step further. Says Motorola's patent, it is often desirable to control the marketing or use of products differently in different areas. I'm just going to let that quote sit there for a while. It is often desirable to control the marketing or use of products differently in different areas. Unquote. The only quote this week that matches that one for PIF is from the Taliban who are destroying two giant Buddhas in the city of Bamiyan, Afghanistan. They are priceless artifacts, giant Buddhas that 800 years ago survived cannon fire of Genghis Khan. They are being destroyed with hammer spades and explosives that feet are already off. The head and legs of the Buddhist statues were destroyed yesterday.

Our soldiers are working hard to demolish the remaining parts, said the Taliban's Minister of Information and Culture, and saying he expected no difficulties in completing the work, quote, it is easier to destroy than to build. . . . .

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. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . And we're lovin' longer Every day That's the way It's gonna be From now on It's gettin' so warm Cause you came back From the thick of the storm thick of the storm Allen,

Allen's such a treat for you to kick off the show with a song that you actually wrote It's right dick and you know, a percentage of any royalties earned by this song are gonna go to an organization that really doesn't receive enough credit in this country for all the wonderful work that they do The Canadian USO Allen will see at the real party after the show Ladies and gentlemen, Allen Thicc Ladies and gentlemen, our next guest is turned the phrase what a country from a catchphrase to a TV show to a beer commercial and he still comedies answered the perestroika Mr. Yakovs Mirnov Thank you Thank you Thank you so much Thank you I'd say thanks dick but I'd feel like a guest at the Kennedy Compound Trying to do more Topical material But wasn't Operation Desert

Storm amazing? Yeah You know Russia Desert Storm isn't the name of incredibly successful military campaign It's description of our economy Big Keith American success in the Persian Gulf was special night vision devices You know in Russia they have special night vision device too It's called Secret Police Now what a war Thank you And what leader General Norman Schwartzkov So successful a general He's probably going to give him a 5th star No, Russia general That's successful And give him the country What a country Not that one This one Great country to come home to In Russia troops come home from foreign military campaign Very different welcome Relative of mind with soldier

Came home from Afghanistan As the sister Why there were no yellow ribbons She says you know why We ate them Thank you very much What an audience Mr. Jakob Smirnoz Jakob Smirnoz Who was supposed to have done it clean and almost kept his promise Just kidding You know what happens when you mix beauty And the talent for harp playing with the hottest sound And all of rap music today Well you get former miss USA runner up Terkoyz Marie Cheeks and Mr. Vanilla Ice Thank you Thank you Thank you Go I come from the streets And I know one thing I know freedom is a beautiful thing Yo, whatever you were doing and wherever you went

America agrees that it was time well spent Welcome back Welcome back Welcome back Welcome back Welcome back Yo Thank you So you went to Iraq And you kicked some butt Now you're coming back home Got to shake your booty Yo, who's ain't the dope Sucker and the Hitler type No You almost all do problem And you did your duty Welcome back Baby Welcome back Baby Welcome back Baby Yo Thank you And how about the Welcome Home Desert Storm Troops All-Star

Party dancers Get a ladies and gentlemen We're not through with the welcomes yet Next week as part of National Cable Month Seven Cable Networks will be simulcasting a gigantic welcome home special featuring the hosts of America's favorite program length commercials But for us here tonight The end has just begun I want to thank the good people at Paramount for charging us only half their normal overhead fees to host this program And most of all I want to thank the United States government whose investment and billions of dollars of advanced military equipment made tonight's celebration Made it possible You know, Operation Desert Storm was the kind of success I like It had a great beat And you could dance to it Till next time Dick Clark's egg so long Now this is Charlie O'Donnell's Tonight for the Welcome Home Desert Storm Troops All-Star Party Something happens to me

Every time I feel that you are near A strange kind of chemical change goes Russian through me I know that mysterious glow means you'll appear Then darling Something happens to me in your arms When I feel your trembling too I can tell you've been caught in a spell that I am under We gaze into each other's eyes in breathless wonder To see that when something happens to me It happens to you Then darling

Something happens to me In your arms When I feel your trembling too I can tell you've been caught in a spell that I am under We gaze into each other's eyes in breathless wonder To see that when something happens to me It happens to you To see that when something happens to me It happens to you I can tell you've been caught in a spell that I am under

I can tell you've been caught in a spell that I am under Yeah it's like the cartoon that we're without the cartoons You never want to take, well you almost never want to take joy in somebody else's suffering Who left something California and moved to Seattle because they wanted to get away from the earthquakes Some things you just can't escape I guess is the lesson there And California is one of them Anyway that concludes this edition Ladies and Gentlemen of the show The programmer turns next week at the same time over these same stations Oddly enough, over NPR Worldwide throughout Europe you sent 440 cable system in Japan Around the world through the Armed Forces Network On shortwave at WBCQ the planet at 7.415 MHz And on your computer whenever you wanted at www.kcrw.com

And it would be just like Rupert Murdock living long enough to get his birthday present If you'd agree to join with me then Would you? Alrighty, thank you very much, huh? Thank you very much The show comes to you from Century of Progress

Productions that originates to the facilities of SAS, the satellite service of KCRW Santa Monica A community recognized around the world as the home of the homeless Now stay tuned for Joe Frank, he's on the other side And a reminder, a reminder, the show will be re-broadcast in its entirety That's the whole thing, oddly enough Tonight at 6 p.m. Where? Thank you for asking right here at KCRW Santa Monica at 89.9 KCRI

Indio Palm Springs at 89.3 KCRY Mojave at 88.1 KCRY Oxnard Ventura at 89.1 KCRW is your radio home for NPR news And hand-picked music streaming three channels 24-7 at KCRW.com KCRW is a community Hour of the Internet, made simple I'm Tom Schnabel, join me this Sunday at 1 on Cafe LA My guest is Flora Purim, fine Brazilian jazz singer and veteran of great bands Led by Ayrto, Chick Korea and others Cafe LA Sunday's Noontail 2 here on 89.9 KCRW And happy Purim to you too, Tom Ladies and gentlemen, joining KCRW just became easier I didn't think it was hard, but it just became easier, subscribe online And you could win our computer of the month It's the ultra-light Sony Violaaptop, just go to KCRW.com And click on web sweepstakes, subscribe or renew today, bet on yourself and KCRW And put this, put our computer of the month on your very own ultra-light laptop

Chris, when's the next news from National Public Radio? That would be five o'clock, all things considered It would be, and it is, no need for this objective in that case, my friend In seven seconds, it'll be 10 a.m. Pacific Standard Time, that's time for the show Daylight Time, Moments away All right, so first of all, clearing the decks of some of the important male response Listerous, you know, they talk about interactive television We have interactive radio right here, I'm sitting right here with a shred of crappy interactivity From a listener who doesn't even have the guts to sign his name or hers But I want to respond to it anyway, because that's the kind of host I am That's the kind of desperate to fill time host I am Listener, this is reported by a third party, innocent third party who just took the phone call Listener did not like the fact that M&M's lyrics was recommended

I did not like the fact that plurals was singularized, me personally, that's me But hey, I'm just reading this Quote should not be making a big deal out of M&M's lyrics on Quote So it's me that's making a big deal out of M&M's lyrics I see, I get it Thanks, thanks, anonymous listener for paying so much, so damn much attention to both grammar and the news But please, please, some more interactivity is always welcome Ladies, gentlemen, I am sure you know that many public radio stations share space with institutions of what's laughingly called higher learning And the Lachodom is similarly domiciled on a college campus, don't you know And so it is that I was faced upon entering the Lachodom today with a large sign that bore these words Run for student government

And it, you know, maybe think there's a lot of talk these days, especially during election seasons about the apathetic electorate And especially the kids, the kids are so turned off the system and every year fewer people vote in our elections And they're older and older, it's skewinging exactly the opposite way from the television audience Which is interesting, the voting demographic and the television viewing demographic are moving in different directions Just an observation, I make nothing of that But, and there's so many explanations derived for why people are losing interest in the electoral system You know, we need campaign finance reform, the sleeves of this, that, the complications of this, the lying, the hypocrisy I've always had all of that, but one thing that's relatively new is a, the public school system That's an invention of the 20th century, basically in most parts of the country

And be even more recent student government Now, I don't know by you, but when I went to school, the biggest joke in the world was student government Here were these kids who basically were learning all of the unnecessary, all of the really worst parts of politics The, hey, how are you, please like me parts of politics? And none of the actually exercising power, because of course they had none So it's a perfect lesson in the emptiness of democracy I asked the question, is the lack of interest in the democratic system that supposedly we have in this country, on the part of our young people, due to the fact that there is in fact such a thing as student government And should we in fact be discouraging people from not only running for it, but participating in it in any way That's this week's question of the week from Hello, welcome to the show

To many nice day of late, too much powder and too much paint, so your can't hide from the time of the time Did they run their fingers up and down the sharp address? Did they find some tender moment there in your career? The boys are safe, you look so fine, but don't come back for a second time when you can't hide from it to another time Ooh little sailor boy, never said eyes on a woman on the floor, did they tell you that you love it done forever more?

Little shoes, cheap perfume, quick and bad in the hotel room, we'll come hide from the time of the time Did they run their fingers up and down the sharp address? Did they find some tender moment there in your career? The boys are safe, you look so fine, but don't come back for a second time when you can't hide from it to another time The boys are safe, you look so fine, but don't come back for a second time when you can't hide from it to another time

Did they run their fingers up and down the sharp address? Did they find some tender moment there in your career? Faster than the sun, down to the banks on an old hill car, she took a flat boat cross the shallow, left me my tears to the ground And she left a faded daughter, now the river's white and abandoned, she's crossing muddy water

The back of all standing in the fields, beer out in Cone November, and a bitter heart will not reveal The spring that I love, remember, when that sweet brown girl, my hair black eyes are raven, we broke the bread and drank the wine From a jug that she'd been saving, left me my tears to dry, and she left a faded daughter, now the river's white and abandoned, she's crossing muddy water Baby's crying in the daylight's gone, that big old tree's growing in a rush of wind and a river's song

I can hear my true love morning crying for her baby child, crying for her husband, crying for that river's white To take her from her loved ones, left me my tears to dry, she left a faded daughter, now the river's white and abandoned, she's crossing muddy water Now the river's white and abandoned, she's crossing muddy water

Now the river's white and abandoned, she's crossing muddy water She awakes when the sun has found her place, and she reaches for the tin, where she keeps important things, the cigarette, the magic beam, a page torn from the magazine And a letter that he sent for the promises and dreams of how he worked across the jungle, across the desert to the bright shiny city by the sea

She's not waiting anymore, now it's better to send her more, now the sun is up, the spell is broken, she's not waiting anymore, now it's better to send her more Another day, now his words have worn away, and his face, well she can't quite remember, and she signs with remorse, all her dreams are flying north, where they wear fancy clothes, painted nails and long long hair, and where they fly Across the jungle, across the desert to the bright shiny city by the sea

She's not waiting anymore, now it's better to send her more, now the sun is up, the spell is broken, she's not waiting anymore, now it's better to send her more Now the sun is up, that dream is blown away She's not waiting anymore, now it's better to send her more, now the sun is up, the spell is broken

She's not waiting anymore, now it's better to send her more, now the sun is up, that dream is blown away Hello, welcome to the show, from the edge of America, from the home of the homeless by request all new this week, just by request only, and since I started this broadcast with a question, I just want to report on the issue of interactivity, no student body presidents have called to descent, so I guess I'm right But having begun the broadcast with a question, let me now continue with the possible answer to another question, as you know, if you're a regular listener to this broadcast, and if not, please seek professional medical help as soon as possible

I've been remarking for some time now over the amazing fact that virtually every street in the environs of Los Angeles, Southern California, even the home of the homeless, where there's money to burn, every street seems to be under repair at exactly the same time I mean, usually I maintain that it's pretty easy to get around here, as long as you stay off the freeways, but tourists and strangers, please take the freeways, won't you? But that rule has been violated, because no matter what street you turn on to, there's construction going on How can every street be under construction at the same time, how can they have planned it this way, what could be the point? Well, I believe I've discovered the point, and it is, the answer came to me again when I read a sign And it's a sign I'd seen a lot in the last couple of years, I think I first saw it in Texas driving across the country

I know what a good idea that was, a couple of years ago, and I'd never seen it before, but I guess it first appeared in Texas, and since then it's sprouted all over the place And it's a very simple sign, it simply says, you see it on freeway sometimes, traffic finds doubled in construction zones And I thought about that, the first thought I had was, well, there are construction workers there, they might be endangered by reckless driving, it's probably a good idea And then we come to metropolitan areas like Los Angeles, Santa Monica, always can use more money You know, they were cash rich six months ago, now all of a sudden state and local governments are saying, well, wait, the economy is slowing down We're spending a lot of money now, we thought we were rich, and what happened? They're not saying that, of course, because that's just bad comic reading, but they're saying something like that, and of course there are only two real painless ways to increase revenue One is to just bust into more suspected crack houses, whether or not there's any reason to believe that there's crack in there

And sees the contents under the forfeiture laws, that goes straight to the bottom line of law enforcement, that's a good technique And the other is just to make every street a construction zone, thereby immediately doubling the value of every ticket that every policeman writes I think I'm onto something here, ladies and gentlemen, if you just make the entire world a construction zone, you've doubled your traffic ticket revenue overnight Let's see if any student body president is calling to correct that. In the meantime, Oscar de la Hoya has put his bell air house back on the market at 4.75 million The boxer singer, what? Did I miss something? I mean, I knew he sang First listed the home almost a year ago at 5.5 million Realism is invading the space of Oscar de la Hoya. The house has eight bedrooms and ten baths Phew, that's a lot of bathing

In 10,000 square feet, among its features are a gym, screening room, game room, pool, and tennis court The house is reached by a way of a 300-foot driveway. There's your exercise right there, get rid of the pool in the tennis court, just run down the driveway to get home Built in 1990, the house underwent a complete redesign since De la Hoya bought it in 1997 And there's information about his records in the real estate column That's probably put there by his realtor, don't you think? Anthony Ketus, lead singer of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, has purchased a Hollywood Hills home for about 2.2 million He bought it before the holidays. This is a newspaper, ladies and gentlemen What holiday do they mean? President's Day? I don't think so So they were just sitting on this. They were sitting on this Red Hot Anthony Ketus item until right now For no good reason. Six bedrooms, six baths and 4,500 square feet was built in the 1940s It has an arched entry, wood beam, ceilings, colorful tile work, iron fixtures, and fountains

And Broadway composer lyricist Jerry, it's a musical theme, kind of a deal Yes, that's why they were saving the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Guy, did they have a theme column? Broadway composer lyricist Jerry Herman wrote the songs for such musicals as you find out on your own time Has put a Beverly Hills home on the market that he bought in December That's a quick flip. He bought it in December. That's when Anthony Ketus bought his home. He only made the paper now Jerry Herman's already turned around and sold it. I got whiplash just from reading this Herman spruced up the home and now he wants to move on. I guess that's good advice for all of us So who's Michael Jackson hanging out with nowadays? Hands and he guesses? In the celebrities find their own level department. Michael Jackson is now hanging out with Yuri Geller For the kids in the audience Yuri Geller gained fame in the 70s. Was it really the 70s? Yes it was

Oh, what can one say that that won't sound immediately visible? Nothing. He gained fame as a guy who could bend spoons with the power of his mind I know, I know your parents were gullible. What can I do? Yuri Geller hanging out with Michael Jackson He tried to heal Michael's broken foot. Did you know Michael Jackson had a broken foot? He was trying to use part of it as a nose. No, I'm sorry. That's not true. That's the part that's not true. He had hoped to heal Jackson before Jackson turned up as best man at Yuri Geller's wedding So he bent something to his will. Did Yuri Geller? He spent an hour running his hands over Jackson's foot and then confessed, I'm not a healer, but I hope that what I did with Michael will encourage his foot. He said he's not a healer, he's an encourager. Will encourage his foot to get better more quickly. Come on, foot. Come on.

I told Michael to spend a minute or two every day imagining his bones healing. That's time out from imagining his career healing and other things. Jackson broke his foot in a fall at his California ranch, tripped over a child. No, he did not. Please, don't even put those thoughts in my mind. Another friend of his, since you asked, is Rabbi Shmouli BoTeach. BoTeach. Shmouli, to those of us who know him well, who was written a book called Confessions of a Rabbi in a psychic. So he's not just a Rabbi, he's a psychic. Jackson made a promotional appearance in England just before he spoke at Oxford. I'm sorry. Hand up raised now. This is true. Spoke at Oxford. Who else spoke at Oxford recently? Another client of Johnny Cochran's. That's right. And I've been invited. Makes you think twice, doesn't it?

Jackson at his appearance to support the book launch of Confessions of a Rabbi in a psychic was clutching a postcard in the shape of a baby. Clutching a postcard in the shape of a baby, ladies and gentlemen, because I guess there are laws in Britain. Maybe there are. Maybe there aren't. Any news of the media world? Sure. A couple of, a couple of wonderful items this week. I don't know if you caught this. John King, who is CNN's chief White House correspondent, but maybe not for long, was disgusted by the coziness of the host of the inaugural gala with George W. Bush. The host was Larry King. He told that John King sent to his bosses. Became public this week. He wrote, did John King? Today I watched in shame and horror as Larry King not only was master of ceremonies at a Bush inaugural event, but also as we put him live on the air, first introducing some entertainment, then as he shamelessly rushed on stage to hug the president elect and entertainer Ricky Martin. People in the newsroom are grumbling. People around the town I have to work in every day are laughing.

The subject line of the email was quote, some of us have jobs to do unquote. Friend of mine pointed out that no similar criticism emerged when that footage of Larry King hugging Denise Rich and Bill Clinton when he got a saxophone from Denise Rich ran on every network. One CNN staffer said if Ted Turner were dead, he'd be rolling over in his grave. Maybe Ted's got other fish to fry. He's busy apologizing for a joke he made about Ash Wednesday. He walked into the CNN Washington newsroom, saw four female employees wearing ashes on their foreheads and said, I thought they were they just came back from just came back from the Seattle earthquake. And then when told that it was Ash Wednesday, he said, I guess you guys are Jesus freaks. You should be working at Fox. Turner has since apologized. And a little closer to home, you know, who cares about Ted and the kings? Did you notice the funding message that appeared at the end of some NPR broadcast recently?

Support for NPR comes from the state of Kuwait in memory of the 10th anniversary of Kuwait's liberation on the web at KuwaitThanksAmerica.com. That set off some alarm bells, even from NPR's own Ombudsman. Kuwait government has a history of using public relations campaigns to influence American public opinion. An NPR spokeswoman said the NPR decision to accept underwriting from Kuwait followed normal procedures. We've heard about these normal procedures before. Just a month ago you heard about the billboard NPR selling on the side of its building in Washington. It's standards for reviewing customers for that follow normal procedures as well. We don't know what the normal procedures are though, but they're normal. That's the reassuring part. Ladies and gentlemen, please don't worry. Everything's normal. But it was regarded as a major breach of journalistic integrity to many listeners and industry observers. Harper's magazine publisher John MacArthur reported the Kuwaiti government hired the public relations firm Hillen Nolton to mobilize American sentiment in favor of getting involved in the Gulf War by arguing it was human rights and not just oil at stake.

That was the line pushed by a PR firm hired by the Kuwait government. Part of that plan designed by Hillen Nolton involved presenting false claims in 1990 in front of the congressional human rights caucus and the UN Security Council that Iraqi soldiers had taken babies out of incubators and left them to die. Some of the most compelling evidence came from a 15-year-old named Nayirah, who claimed to be a Kuwaiti with firsthand knowledge of the situation. A known to the congressman in the media, Nayirah was the daughter of the Kuwaiti ambassador to the United States. At the time, says MacArthur, it was the most sophisticated and expensive PR campaign ever run in the U.S. by a foreign government, author of the book. NPR has accepted money from foreign governments before in 1999, Germany sponsored a message to commemorate the fall of the Berlin Wall.

But it troubled NPR's Ombudsman, Jeffrey Dvorken, who wrote, journalist at NPR, are never in contact with corporate or foundation sponsors, but just as important as the reality of influence is the appearance of influence. Kuwaiti remains in the news, NPR reports some time to time, from Iraq. MacArthur said what's extraordinary is that NPR took the money. Kuwaiti has been doing this for years, buying American public opinion. Says a leading critic, Robert McChesney, NPR needs to draw, and this is his quote, a line in the sand. Given the country under discussion, that's probably the best place in which to draw. No line. Sorry, I was possessed by David Brinkley's ghost for a minute there. But I'm not sure if it's true, but I'm not sure if it's true, but I'm not sure if it's true or not.

But I'm not sure if it's true, but I'm not sure if it's true or not. And you know, it's not all that it could be. And you reach out for something so efficiently. And your days turn into months on end. Time to roll over and see what other trips you got. Time to move over and let the new guy take a shot, strike it while it's hot. Cause later than I knock, be in the room for thought. And when the rain clouds pass and it stays dry, does that mean that there wasn't no clouds in the sky?

And when the rain comes back and it falls through, does that mean that you finally understood? So you want to feed your belly and jump into the deli looking for a fight. And you have a close encounter with somebody at the counter looking for a fight. And when the storm's all out of your sight, does that rock get your plans up into your other sky? And what's your combination of the latest compilation that's the needed interpretation to avoid or reputation? And can we simplify, take your word, time to roll over and see what other trips you got. Time to move over and let the new guy take a shot, strike it while it's hot. Cause later than I knock, be in the room for thought. So you jump back in and place them all and you're breaking all records that have gone before.

And you turn yourself a 180, does that mean that your eyes are looking backwardly? So you'd like to turn your balance into the other side of town, but it's not easy. No, no, no, and every time you look it seems like it took away the scenery. Oh, it's a view that you're not quite used to, but since when did that ever seem to bother you? Time to roll over and see what other trips you got. Time to move over and let the new guy take a shot, strike it while it's hot. Little than I knock, be in the room for thought. Strike it while it's hot, strike it while it's hot.

From CPR, cut in a little public radio, this is all in all. All in all, a regular one-sover, not so lightly on the people behind the issues, behind the headlines above the news. I'm Milton Getzler in Washington. This week, the nightmare of a student shooting at his classmates on a school campus returned to the front page of America's attention, replacing for several tragic days the bush tax cut and the Clinton pardons. Talk shows and news broadcasts have focused on the subject of youthful violence. It's putative causes and it's possible cures. Almost as devotedly as if all the students involved had been featured on the cover of the sports illustrated swimsuit issue. The suspect in this week's case, Andy Williams, was reported to be seen by fellow students as a big-eared nerd, subjected to repeated bouts of ridicule and bullying.

And it's to this pattern that our guest today seeks in his own nerdish way to call our wandering attention. He's Christian Borges, executive chairman of the National Association of Geeks, Dorks and Nerds, and he's in our million dollar digital interview studio with our own irosipkin. Mr. Borges, first of all, just to clear up any possible confusion. How do you identify yourself as a nerd, a dork or a geek? I read that. That's one of the most tragically misunderstood things about the kids I represent. Even they don't know the answer to that question. See, every previous minority group has had one advantage of at least knowing who they are. Geeks and dorks and nerds are just, we're just left to wonder. Until very often it's too late. Well, strictly speaking, Geek is some kind of obsessed tech head. Well, really strictly speaking. And I know this only because I saw it on the show. My mom was watching on Annie.

Geek is a dude who bites the heads off chickens in the carnival. Well, in any case, nerds and dorks are seen as ungainly kids. Kids with oddly prominent facial or bodily features. Sure. Juggiers like mine, big noses, thick glasses. Thin kids who clearly aren't attractive enough to be model material, but who eat just as little as the pretty kids do. The boys who stay home and watch Star Trek DVDs on prom now. Yes, yes, sir. That's my constituency. And partly because the last few days have been a wake up call for everybody. We in the NANDG have struggled to overcome our intense feelings of isolation enough to join hands in a nationwide movement. A demand by those of us excluded from normal school life to stop the ridicule. Stop the bullying. It's a toler. Listen, we plead guilty to being idealists that kind of kids who 30 years ago would have protested the Vietnam War. No questions asked. But, you know, we're realistic too. We know that guns will always be with us.

So you've got to look at the root causes of teen violence. And that's mistreatment at the hands of friends or more commonly classmates who wouldn't be caught dead hanging out with us. This mistreatment would basically consist of name calling? You know, that's trivializing it. Name calling is just putting it so mildly. What's going on in the hallways and lunchrooms of America and schools is nothing less than what President Bush would, you know, might describe as the soft bigotry of bigotry itself. You know, you can't make fun of black people anymore. Latino people or handicapped people. Really anybody else. I mean, my dad told me they used to tell Polish jokes. But, you know, in my school, I can get you suspended. So the only safe target left is us. And, you know, because of our tendency to low self-esteem anyway, we just tend not to file complaints about these incidents. So we really have no idea how widespread ridicule and bullying really are. But we all know.

Christian, I asked this question, taking the risk that it brands me as a hopelessly out of touch. Fuddy daddy as well as the closet bluegrass mandolin player that our listeners have heard at the end of several news magazines. Uh-huh. But has it occurred to your members that we've always had bullies and somewhat cruel class clowns? Uh-huh. You know, Mr. Zipkin, for a long time, they always had slavery. Then one day they didn't anymore. You know, we don't look at this in terms of always before. We look at it in terms of never again. Mr. Borges, I understand you've rejected a demand that your group make a commitment to non-violence. Yeah, yeah. That so-called demand was made by a spokesman for the National Goth Council. And, you know, we don't see them as a legitimate spokesman for the Goth kids. Those kids, and I, you know, I say this with all respect, they have no idea what a democratic membership organization would even look like. You know, it's like, you know, bite off my ear and I'll follow you everywhere, type of deal. You know, so, yeah, we reserve the right to send a message to the bullies

and the fun pokers and send that message in the only language that they understand, which is senseless violence. Well, given the amount of weapons that seem to be on or around our school campuses these days, Mr. Borges, is what you're threatening basically like a nationwide use gang war? Well, hey, we're not a gang. We're an incredibly active youth organization. Well, Dorkson, nerds do tend to like running school clubs inside, don't they? I don't know, Mr. Zipkin, do we? You see, you wouldn't dare say that about any other group, but somebody painted a kick me on our behinds, and I'm telling you this, I'm not going to graduate from high school until I get that message off of there. This may seem cruel, but we don't have much time left. If you and your members ever thought about just putting on some weight and getting some contact lenses? Mr. Zipkin, my stepmom has told me about the Stockholm syndrome. You know, that's what this is. You are obviously a nerd or geek or a dork yourself in school, and yet you're identifying with the popular kids, the athletes, and the dweebs on the student council.

I find that inexpressibly sad. Well, I try to keep myself out of my interviews as much as possible, so let me just thank you for joining us, Christian Borges, president of the National Association. I'm Executive Chairman, our president is this fat kid, noted. Of geeks, ducks, and nerds, I'm Iris Zipkin. And for now, that's all, of all in all. Funding for this program came from the William & Giselle Shyscock Foundation, supporting the coverage of everything except tax exempt foundations. I'm Milton Getzler, reminding you there's always more of all in all. This is CPR Continental Public Radio. Get out of the car, put down the phone, take off that stupid looking hat you wear. I'm gonna die if you touch me one more time.

Well, I guess that I'm gonna die no matter what. Well, people are there, the smell of love is everywhere. You think it's always sensitive, good. You think that I want to be a return. I've got to match your embrace and my collapse. Beat up the cat if you need someone else on the mat. I put a rock in the coffin, your coffin mine. Which one of us is the one we can trust? You say that I make it to you, but I don't agree with that.

Love people are there, the smell of love is everywhere. You think it's always sensitive, good. You think that I want to be a return. I've got to match your embrace and my collapse. Even when we get along, I've got to match your embrace and my collapse. Love people are there, the smell of love is everywhere. Why can't you be sensitive? Why don't you want to be good? I've got to match your embrace and my collapse. I've got to match your embrace and my collapse. Well, let's see what's happening on the national scene,

national political scene. What do you say, ladies and gentlemen? First of all, just mopping up some old business, the CIA did get it wrong pretty much a lot of the time, especially when it came to the one time, the quantum Soviet Union, partly because even though they did know better, they didn't have the guts to say so. Jack Matlock, the US ambassador to Moscow back then, when George Schultz was Secretary of State, said Schultz was afraid to speak frankly about his views on Gorbachev, who basically dismantled the Soviet system, because he knew his rivals in the Reagan administration, particularly Defense Secretary Casper Weinberger, and National Security Advisor Robert Gates would accuse him of being hopelessly naive if he did. This is from a conference the CIA held, releasing some documents to just show just how little they did know, how little they knew.

They implicitly confirmed that the big events of the Gorbachev years virtually all caught the CIA by surprise. No evidence that the agency anticipated the Soviet withdrawal from Afghanistan, the release of dissident physicist Andrei Sakharov from Internal Exile, the effective end of censorship, unilateral cuts in the Soviet armed forces, Gorbachev's willingness to accept huge reductions in conventional arms and missiles, or his acquiescence in the collapse of the Eastern European Empire. Douglass Mackeken, who headed the CIA's Office of Soviet Analysis during the 80s, told how difficult it was to get cautions based on Soviet economic difficulties into the national intelligence estimates on Soviet military programs. In an interview, he said, we gave up on the national intelligence estimates after 86 or 87, because it was so difficult to get realistic assessments into them. But who needs realism when you got intelligence? Today's intelligence tells us that according to the Palm Beach Post,

the famous butterfly ballot costs Al Gore 6,607 votes in Palm Beach County, more than enough to make him the winner of the presidential election. This conflicts, of course, with the count in Miami-Dade, but that involved many fewer votes that came out a couple weeks ago that made it look as if George W. Bush won the election. You figure it out. Oh, you have. Okay, fine. In today's New York Times, we learn this, a telling difference between George W. Bush and Bill Clinton by the estimation of Andrew Card, the Bush Chief of Staff, George W. Bush devoted, quote, in the neighborhood of five hours to meetings to discuss his budget proposal. By contrast, the former president, Clinton, spent at least 25 hours in official meetings assembling his first budget and 50 hours more in casual settings. So that'd be 75 hours for Clinton, five hours for George W. Bush.

Says Kenneth Duporstein, who was the Chief of Staff for Ronald Reagan. This is the first time in American history we've had a president and the prime minister, referring to Dick Cheney, who had a little episode had to go into the hospital this week for, to have his arteries revivified, as to the tax cut that sailed through the house this week on a party line vote. It's an interesting quote from Lawrence Cudlow, former adviser to President Reagan and an opinionator. Since business isn't getting anything in the first tax bill, they're getting to get a lot on the regulatory side. That's the desire of Bush and the Republican-led Congress to reward corporate groups for going, requesting tax breaks in the tax cut bill that's going through now, while reserving the right to press for special provisions later on. Now, I thought listening to conservative economists

that corporations don't pay taxes. Isn't that what they say? Whenever it's proposed that it be raised, the corporate income tax, corporations don't pay taxes. They pass them all on to the consumer. But when the topic is cutting taxes, says Lawrence Cudlow, a Wall Street economist, business isn't getting anything in the first tax bill, so they're going to get a lot on the regulatory side. I can't make heads or tails of it. But anyway, as you know, President Bush campaigned in several states with Democratic Senators for his tax cut bill this week, and then flew home to his ranch to spend the weekend there, possibly to receive one of those phone calls he sometimes gets from the 41st President of the United States, his not-so-immediate predecessor. Here, first one, this is... Hold on, just a sec. Where is that list of code names, Karen?

That's probably hidden card. You can, either you got a code name on it. Oh, that's it. If you don't know who you are, this is 41 calling. That's code enough, don't you think? Of course, but I really am supposed to know these. I guess, look, Simon, it's just a secret service making themselves feel useful. If somebody unauthorized it, get that phone number. You think answering him with a code name would throw him off? Well, that's real late night at Yale Bullfession, I think, and they're dead. I don't know that I'm up to it after a week I've had. What are you talking about? Talk to congratulate you on a great week. You got the tax cut bill through the rally and the rollback of Clinton rules through both houses. They, if you listen to Jim Baker tell it, that's more than we accomplished in four years. Listen, 40, when you know exactly why this was such a not-marish time for me, this whole big, chainy thing is turning into the biggest loser I've been saddled with.

Since I'm born into the Texas Rangers. Hey, hey, we turn that one around with a little help from the taxpayers. I've been along with Dick Cheney. He just had to have, whether they call it, a procedure. Let me ask you something. How am I supposed to know for sure that he didn't have a heart attack this time? You know, in November when he did have a heart thing, I was the last guy in the planet that they told us. You know, that's just embarrassing to be put in a position where people might perceive me as an ignorance. If or three looks here, Dan Cheney himself told me you have nothing to worry about. Well, of course he's going to tell you that. You're the guy that told me this lemon. He is not a lemon. Well, he sure ain't cherry. Don't even know what that means. They'll want to know. Look, if you put something inside an artery, sometimes the arteries are going to react negatively to it. You know, the same thing we do.

Okay, so that's what happened to Dick Cheney's heart. You know this. You've had it all explained to you. If you're asking, do I pay total 100% attention to every single briefing? You know the answer is no. I have to keep my focus. Even Carl Rose says that, as far as I'm concerned, detail is like retail. Who needs it? Yeah. So whatever dinner didn't go on in Dick Cheney's arteries is between him and his maker. But look at here. Don't get me wrong. I love Dick Cheney. He's a good man. I know it's in his heart. He's got a good heart. But, you know, his real heart is just a piece of crap. So what am I supposed to do? Start mastering this place all of a sudden just in case. You know, I'm a heartbeat away from being the president of United States. So, yeah. What? Me worry. I'm fine, fine, fine. Well, that's easy. You know, get a grip. You're flying off the handle like some kind of Italian fella. Yeah, even Keele, even that Keele. You got plenty of people around you big support system.

Well, that's the other thing. Condi's not talking to Colin. Colin thinks Wilmsfeld's bad mouth and then behind his back, which he is. You know, these are the people who are supposed to be helping me. And I'm spending half my time hearing him bitch about each other. They're not scared of you yet. They only fight over turf until you make them scared of you. Then they buckle down. Well, you know what, if Dick Cheney or as I call him, if Dick Cheney goes in for one more procedure, I'm going to be scared of me. Can't you get me someone else in there? Hey, hey, look. He's not going to resign from what the docks tell me. He's probably not going to die anytime soon. He was all like the same as you, maybe even more than you. He's yours. 41, this is straight from the shooter. No one would rather lean on Dick Cheney than me. But you know, I just had this recurring nightmare of calling you a cell phone during some national emergency and having to rely on advice from a candy stripper. That's just not good enough.

All right, look, if you want me to have a conversation with him about what? Just telling him to knock off the goddamn procedures. You know, if I just could see him for three straight months without a hospital whisk band on him, I must have feeling confident about him again. Well, maybe he could mask it as a trip to Camp David. Or Canada. Well, whatever. And I say he's a darn good man. You know, you didn't have to try to get a last-minute boyfriend on Kuwiyah from him, or he was sunk on them all. It's a lucky bastard who isn't here. I got to talk to him. Don't let it rattle you. You had a good week. You think? I know. I just relax. Take the weekend off. Well, sure. Okay. Love to lower up. Yeah, tell me, Mrs. 41. I said, aye. Well, it's pack up the kids and take a break in a way. Leave the hustle and bustle living from day to day.

And I know that the prime in the city is getting worse. So I'm going all down to the gun sale at the church. Well, my lady's all set to have us a real good time. Then the drunk has got Benz, but he don't hold his sleeve in mind. The pack is all red and I pray at the Holy Virgin. Let's set up in the middle of gun sale at the church. Well, we'll ask the Lord to forgive us for all I see. And we'll look at the letters, then go put it fire and dance. Well, my two men men are Jesus and old John Birch.

So I'm going all down to the gun sale at the church. Let's go. Well, we'll ask the Lord to forgive us for all I see. And we'll look at the letters, then go put it fire and dance. Well, it's pack up the kids and take a break in a way. Leave the hustle and bustle living from day to day.

And I know that the prime in the city is getting worse. So we're going all down to the gun sale at the church. So we're going all down to the gun sale at the church. So we're going all down to the gun sale at the church. And this morning's New York Times, the Washington State Senate has passed legislation aimed at cracking down on bullying. No specific penalties were set.

I'm beginning to believe that no student body president is listening to this broadcast. Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, that concludes this edition of the show. The program returns next week at the same time over these same stations over NPR Worldwide throughout Europe, over the US and 440 cable system in Japan, around the world through the Armed Forces Network, on shortwave for goodness sake at WBCQ, the planet 7.415 megahertz on your shortwave dial, and on your computer whenever you want it at www.kcrw.com, that's spelled KCRW. And it would be just like originating next week from Washington DC. If you'd agree to join with me then, would you? All righty, thank you very much. And ladies and gentlemen, because interactivity is such an integral part of this broadcast.

Just a part of the weft and the warp and the woof. Don't you know? I once again remind you that to email this broadcast, send your missives to L-E-M-A-I-L at interworld.net, and say it with me, no attachments please. The show comes to you from century of progress, productions, and originates through the facilities of SAS, a satellite service of KCRW Santa Monica,

a community recognized around the world as the home of the homeless. This is KCRW, oh and by the way, the show returns, that is to say, is re-broadcast. That's all it does. It's repeated, that is to say, tonight at 6 p.m. Here on KCRW Santa Monica at 89.9 KCRI Indio-Pom Springs at 89.3 KCRY Mojave Antelope Valley at 88.1 and KCRU Oxnard Venture at 89.1 KCRW, your radio home for NPR News and Handpicked Music Streaming, three channels 24-7 at KCRW.com, KCRW's Community Services, Santa Monica College. KCRW supporters include Netscape, provider of Netscape.com, a source for in-depth news and news.

Thank you.