Connecting the Community; 2914; Domestic violence among young adults

the pay to play he's at hsbc interconnect in the community and robin were sharp the war watch when before the two thousand nine grammy awards in february cinders robin briana fantasy and chris brown were involved in a very public incident that culminated in his arrest on charges of assaulting her the charges as reported by reuters were four assault by means of force likely to produce great bodily injury and threatening to commit a crime which would result in death with great bodily injury what surprised most people was not the public display it in fact singh's we've been almost a nest the size to that

but the edges of the accused and the accuser re on earth is twenty twenty one now chris brown is nineteen with us to talk about the age of domestic violence is the director of residential programs and favor house marcia travis and devore a little cool represents those accused of domestic violence if you want to join in our discussion with the question on the age of domestic violence critically all young adults we welcome your call at ford for twelve point three or one eight hundred to three nine debbie us sorry and how welcome to both urban my show you surprised about what happened to riyadh no not really because that is something we have the masses there with for many many years and in doing the job that i do have gone up very high schools and talk to teens about ti dating balance and i'm saying that is happening much younger even in the middle school so no i was a surprise how is it happening in them a school we get a lot more details but when you're talking in one he's saying with these young

adults when i got to the high school and talked to the teens about dating bow as they are telling me that even when they were in middle school because they now for younger generation compared to when i was in school was so as much earlier willock in that eighth graders haven't prawns in their dating so we're saying the same thing that we sing in high school saying that they're dating guys were being abusive to them taught them to them and deliver them against it appears a saying he's a great guy he's a star athlete so he stayed with his pocket but there were little red representing accused are accused perpetrators does the violence do you see that they are the perpetrators are necessarily perpetrating this on dates or does it happen in any other way i knew seeing it across the board typically receive with relationships need you start very young ahmed you also see them in instances where i'm schoolmates were just hanging around each other people that are hanging in the same social groups and becomes very common to bully him to used to market or language in that tends to escalate other levels and there seems to be a measure of encouragement from people that are

around this far spitzer they're accustomed to that he be themselves and then oftentimes it results in some type of physical violence so that help vets slowly stopping by the senate as peer pressure peer pressure of course is the peer pressure for the perpetrator org two to four the victim refresher for both is pure pleasure for the victim not reported or not to make a big deal about it then it's peer pressure or on the individual that's being encouraged by the dollar talk to you that way or is that person thinks she's uber put her in her place type behaviors on that typically rick martino solicit some type of action from that person as being but data marsha heard you say that the talk about high schools and middle schools stage every on and chris brown are young adults or talk and eighteen to thirty so it in my mind these perpetrators then in that age range and devore are college students college college student age or young adults just entering be out that the workforce what's the peer pressure there aren't in my experience here because i do

practice locally here we don't have a lot of children that are in the system that are in college unfortunately unfortunately we have a lot of young individuals that have a lot of free time on their hands to say the least on that with that time they do a lot of hanging out and they hand certain places i don't have a lot of experience with those are actually in college age but i would imagine on that there is some level of peer pressure of that at that stage but again we're talking about a different armies are about college age students and people that i represent is using different type of individual and these are usually older than than twenty twenty five still have that meeting to some are show what about in our favor house oregon and other domestic violence shelters or advocate centers are you saying a lot and then we'll just take that they're college age group are you saying a lot in that eighteen to twenty twenty five i would say yes because we do provide services for eighteen and older if they are legally married under the age of eighteen so we do see that took a population in our community services that we provide

we look at in two thousand and eight july first of the month of july should i correct myself we had a twenty two year old who was killed by an intimate partner they were dating short term relationship i was saying someone who's only twenty two wins short term really sure that i can probably guarantee not the first incident of hours with an intimate partner and this played out in the public eye and i know there are a lot of pitches every on in fact the an independent weekly you get a front cover of her pretty pretty dramatic front cover several weeks ago this most domestic violence happened this way i would say probably not believe it or not the places that we see and that really danced to that perspective it was so agree on a baguette and still we see a lot of times where is another clothing in the hairline a lot of time that someone who knows what they're going to do purposely tried to hit in areas where they can be seen in what she can go and talk about it publicly exploiting exploit that expose their cell that was pretty dramatic but what we see in our embassy may not be to that extreme that is

still doesn't make it right or any less so debra burger ten million dollar question is how do you defend somebody who was alleged to have to do this one each guest gets a loaded question when you think about you think about the idea that we're protecting the rights of individuals when i look at myself and my job on protecting everyone's rights so i'm looking at the process lawmakers should this individual is receiving a fair trial that being said i am quite often what looks on paper is not actually what have you know when you start delving into the facts you get the police report and most of the time the officer on the scene has only taken one side of the story and then once you sit down with an individual you have an opportunity to speak with him sometimes the facts revealed that there may be a son's school level or provocation song on instance where a possibly they were defending themselves however them being the mail and one b in the female or one walking away with visible injuries and one without on one end up being arrested

in the other not so defining a person most the time turns out to be a lot easier than you think it would be and let me when miki ando meant provocation were talking about that earlier in mercury on a case that that that the reports were saying then that she provoked him this does that make it ok dan florida that the violence to be alleged offender than to protect themselves or two to carry a out that level love of love of violence why don't they get the justices that condones any level of violence ever i think what they do is they provide for certain defenses they have the statues that they put in place to protect people from becoming victims but in the same token they create statues that will allow you to provide defense she'd be accused so they have provided fourteen self defense so if you're a person is being threatened or if you feel like a person's commitment imminent harm against you then you are according to the law allowed to defend yourself with a level of force that meets a level that's being exerted gives do so

somebody is starting to what she win the face and they look like they may have the means to do it that doesn't necessarily mean you need to shoot him in the head you know so it's a level force it has to be met with the force necessary to defend yourself on there are defensive such as provocation type offenses and again those are just wasted the person does find themselves om in a situation where they have exerted violence to get someone to these are just mechanisms that you can use to defend yourself and if you're just joining us we're talking about domestic violence particularly the age of domestic violence along our young adults and you are welcomed to call us at forty four twelve twenty three or one eight hundred to three ninth of us artie marcia it seems to me a little strange that were having this conversation in two thousand nine when we have the young the internet news wire community outreach that such as you do that we still having to have this conversation jose not getting the message here

i think a lot of time we look at the question of domestic thousand need to be broadcast everywhere we sometimes believe that the religious sector and that's one of the places where we still need to be more visible i have to save for my perspective of where i come from we still need to look at what is taught to our young people what is taught or you it's pretty hard for a parent to tell you not to put out with certain things what we had he hears was still living in that type relationship when i look back at the years i worked at favor house i've been there for over twenty four years and i'm beginning to see the daughters as adults coming back into shelter and what i'm seeing is a lot of bad behavior is not talked we like to talk about the physical part but what about the venerable emotional psychological teaching them about how to stand up you know and not be disrespected with words we see a community where the language is acceptable with a lot of the young ladies that i'm you know talking with that and just being around and we're not teaching them to

have that as a disrespectful language of those in the music and what i would buy those views and i'm not saying we as me with their youth or that it's ok but now that bird the young adult years as a team to their that we're talking about and for all a lot of us i guess i'm still in that age range that for a bill mccabe i look of adversity for us for a lot of people that eighteen to thirty is sort of that let let me try on a few things here so how do you know that when you're dating someone when you're married to someone that at this point that that the relationship is experimental what's happening in the relationship i just felt the feeling your way sort of through their relationship to how you know if they found a man pushes a woman a woman pushes a mandolin in fact that that's not just a touch or is is that in fact and one of those patterns and nasa will get into that the patterns of domestic mass and typically in that eighteen to thirty year range i think a lot of times i tried to teach that to make sure the words and

that the words she had a nasty behavior i said well i'm sorry that means you're safe where you get your right to fight desperately assessing their their heart not repeat that behavior again and have you learned that you like to do something different educating yourself reading going out seeking help to change that pattern of behavior and a lot of tie we so quick to accept just the words in outlook for the changes in the person's behavior from a twenty four year old absolutely then that how do i know this is my second relationship how do i know that that the words need to imagine me as much book education as i might have i do i know that you know that that that needs to it's a match up of this is the second in the second serious relationship and you know or he says he said it would happen again right and our town that's where witches did to pat and what we had in the first relationship to allow a time that's not a good method to identify because let's say the first late show there was physical knowledge that the second you know is just the words we're so quake as in women and msn all women was so quick as wanted to set the lesson two evils with it will that wasn't as bad as the other but in order

to go out and find out what's different educate yourself get in touch with a deceased that disfavor house and talk with someone talking with me come into counseling college education classes people have a tutsi to try to turn their nose a far out or looked down upon the word counseling and what we do is that their beauty is more of education information just educating yourself about healthy relationship because always are role models and a lot and that was family or lesbian some time off it was not great deborah what are you saying in terms of bum patterns what sarah palin's amazing with with an alleged perpetrators folks that you have to live in an hour to make sure that we use in women but on make sure that there were many to understand that the perpetrator can be as the victim of male or female that's an actually an ad defended women and men teenage girls and teenage boys and we see his mom using their clear indicators that a young age you know om

for me as a defense attorney i usually encounter young people in the juvenile system om simple batteries pushing shoving vandalism armed militias action such as a criminal mischief charge is and things like that where they've damage to property broken her cell phone on but the windows out of the car and things like that so we start to see is an apparent escalation so because it's a sitcom and behavior in there peer groups that they're hanging out with them in their schools that this is acceptable and what happens is this young perpetrators never you know a slap on the wrist in the juvenile system is typically not enough to deter the behavior of his lungs that he's been accepted by their partners are worried that they're within their peers on you nine times entertaining count epperson in the adult criminal justice system again facing some type of battery charges but this point it becomes maybe more in the domestic level or felony level and battery and in layman's terms as his at finding the fighting

is is more defined isn't afraid you know fighting is it typically to people that are fighting a battery is when you touch a person against their will with the intent to commit harm to them as not the technical legal definition the best as easiest way to put it and put your hands on some money with the intent to hurt them so what if what you have if it as a perpetrator they never been in the system so that so they've done this level of escalation it's never been recorded hits it's never been caught how how then do you defend them understand that they have to have at some point understand this level of escalation and then how how do you counsel them is as well it sort of as an attorney and as a county are lakes like counseling is om i try not to be the judge and jury when and counseling with someone on what i typically tell them is that you know when there is one of those charges innocent he just every time you do it right now you're at a very low level of this offense is a first time we've done this you may have done away with some things as a juvenile but now you're in the door court and that's

what i try to tell them that you know from this point on your behaviors being accounted for so the family name of course on the legal standpoint and i will look at the statue look at the requirements for what scorecard approve the battery and then i would just obviously look for weaknesses in the evidence in the investigation reveals that it doesn't look quite as strong at trial every day on paper on an unfortunately a lot of times these batteries are not prosecuted and i think that's another reason why people are more tolerant of it because once it gets down to court and wants a jury sits and listens in and all of that person's dirty laundry is erik person's gets found not guilty and then he said see i told you and nixon you report me or is going to be much worse for you so you know it's open the door yet again for reviews were gonna take a caller hi jon cover the coal you have a question for our panelists zero tie your question for

palestine well it would be cutting the domestic violence issue with them but i don't go right ahead and answer questions well i submitted a comet more than anything else he and i talked with them and now i'm not sure what the upshot of that was that being equal it is all your ear lot on the air right now so go riding hands okay what i'm saying in that i am at be at the center of a demo for a while a situation that have gone on to in the sky in on probation and in jail out of jail back onto the beginning back in jail again and i took an interest in this man because while on probation he was struggling very hard to support his child to children bowl ad that

he had been convicted of committing again and he says that the restriction imposed on them financially and in other ways while on probation put enormous pressure on him because they have these restrictions were in addition to who is you need to generate income and so he's struggling to satisfy anger management question that a dory fever for the question communities so that all the while he's trying to generate enough income andy ok letterman left that tiny little jump and to hear jonathan and sort of address sommelier point what just it's a it's a long process deborah you know what

ford has done and that and many other states have done is by defining it as like we said a battery it was a battery and that was it by defining as domestic cow asbury what they've done is increase the penalty on that's associated with so they wanted really penalize people that you're convicted of battery so the fines have been increased as what they would be to add a simple battery and there are tremendous financial obligations with in domestic cows horses are not cheap almond there's at least twenty six weeks of it you pay for every class as probation or carmen says the cost to be on probation typically there's a substance abuse of psalms we're tight on course that goes along with it and then there's the cost to be on probation start with ines a minimum of twelve months so the icy arctic are tremendous financial responsibilities are a perpetrator is automatically charged with i'm a misdemeanor could you mention battery which understand is a misdemeanor so that they automatically charged with domestic violence battery should they be found guilty or or

what makes a determination that in the end the chris brown he was a charged with a felony so what what makes that difference what's the line in iowa ordinarily when an officer goes out to a scene to investigate a crime began at odds either going with that with the intent of the battery has been committed once they determine whether or not they were family members or whether they resided together that puts it at the level of domestic so ford has to finding the balance between members of the family in any members of people that reside together as domestic and nature on so that makes a date is still a misdemeanor bomb but it makes it amazing powers which increases penalties now we start talking about felonies were talking about the level of injury or aggravating circumstances like she was pregnant or it try to rent out a deadly vehicle and as those are times when you get into felony cases but for the most part most batteries are misdemeanor types and i'm an end to jaunts to his point about this the sole person that he's talking about marcia take us through the counseling for a

victim of domestic violence and critically when they have children as he mentioned that in this case that there was children in all here's one of the things that we see with victims' there is no law that makes the victim come to counseling is a whole different ballgame we talk about victims and you talk about offenders out with the victims we try to offer that on a volunteer basis which is at no cost to them all of the services to victims are no cause we try to encourage the guns that is the area warning is highly recommended they get into some kind of counseling what the support counseling with his cows and do our education classes as well as getting kassem for the children because our agency like this it earlier we have seen and now the next generation come into two classes and counseling in shelters and if we don't break that cycle with hiv the family has not you know done something to try to break the cycle they were gonna look forward to the next generation and kind of that same dynamics and it's really sad it's really sad and

you talk about next generation victims and embracing next generation perpetrators have not have that yet but what i do find when i'm speaking with them they did come from a very volatile background themselves and allow the males that i do on the counter fathers were in the same way in this is normal to them in the law the women i do encounter on broken homes where the money and the father uses as physically fight each other so it's like somebody makes you angry or whatever your natural reaction obviously is just to fight our man that's just normal to what other influences marshy you mentioned the music and that's a that's a whole nother show in an m one of contention really does this music influence society and as a society influence our music so what what other employees there were you say the sides family and their outside influences or their internal as someone born to two to violate some someone else out i guess that would be the

whole nature versus nurture type of arguments you know you see a little bit of both i think some people have propensities towards violence i think some people that have trigger points on that made him become violent people that of course your people there provoked into violence cheap call my momma a name or she cheated on me and it was a huge passion provocation type defense cases and things like that so what i do see is a lot of my clients are friends and they do hang in the same groups of people in the same neighborhoods and you do you do you see your graphical om similarities in a lot of the clients that you do represent and saw the same patterns of behaviors that you do see so i think the influence is our cultural om shanti om generational i think at this point with in our community has become an epidemic levels so if that sounds like a lot of this where again at the top a short of maori on and chris brown the very public but a lot of this is happening behind closed doors for perpetrators grooming perpetrators if you will as as well what'll what do you propose as a defense

attorney certainly not try running out of business what do you propose as a defense attorney that that would sort of oh i'd take the blinders on not just off of society society in general but in this age group and in particular i think for me you know if i were to take off my hat as a defense attorney upon my hand i do have two young doors myself what i think is necessary here is we need more mentors ship in this community of males that would take an interest in a community farm in it just put it out there majority of my clients are young black males and i think we're really lacking in the leadership portion here and i think when you speak to a lot of them a lot of them don't have father figures at all and down they don't have a male relate to so when they walk in an office item to pull their pants up you know when you come to office please have assured on it they don't understand where that's coming from but certainly the lankford death of someone's pants then have a direct correlation to know has ever been selected to

create the origin to engage in domestic violent all apps or maoist period on this issue but there is the correlation between the neighborhood the level of violence that they've experienced themselves personally and in the level of positive exerting its others and they haven't always been caught you know the one that they do get caught for that brought him into my office is not the first instances that they'd been into so when you do speak to the media see a lack of mentors in the community that a lot of those behaviors can be eliminated on it they just have more leadership in the community marcia and as a as an advocate for oil for victims and anna's meaning the average person what what advice do you have for victims i would say to have a gun to understand that its not right for anyone to dehumanize you to early preview doubt emotionally you know beat you up and it's not just about the physical lie early and again much

less in the relationship where does consider a healthy relationship to what is not a lot of times we let the word slide we say ok they did mean at that by the time we get someone in our agency she has been sold for oblivion mostly battered than to live as good as really rolls off her back as she accepted and i tell it when it's not your fault you deserve to have a healthy relationship you can have a healthy relationship to be accountable to yourself first hold that data are accountable yes it may cost him financially to go to the classes to pay for the size of the probation but my philosophy is if you do the crime to guess what you do the time to pay the fines right well we covered a lot in a short amount time so you wanna thank you both and we want to know that this happened to you we same as very much in the public admission that happened to you in private you need to know that there are advocates for you for both victims and perpetrators and we urge you to seek out help that's all the time that we have for our show we'd certainly like to find marsha travis

with favre house and attorney deborah little you can take us out online at their view a story that a large evil more educational informative and often times like tonight fun topics from all this year ago this sorry i'm robin are short encouraging to read a book he's a teeny teeny teeny ha ha ha ha ha it's been on the pages the

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