Front Street Weekly; 121

Why why. Why. This is the tremendously important program I sit on the Aging Committee in Washington D.C. and personally involved with Loaves and Fishes in Portland, as a board member, and I just think it's a real lifeline to our senior citizens. I think there are some significant ways that analysts can reduce the amount of suffering that people go through. ... Jim Fedner (?), Multnomah County Criminal Court, and I'm calling about your time. Now, have the police informed me exactly what happened.... Good evening. Tonight we'll have a report of a local service agency that is remarkably successful in

taking care of senior citizens in the Portland area. People we spoke to told us that the Loaves and Fishes program in Portland is a model for similar food distribution centers around the country. And we'll have a report on pets. Not so much what we do for them, as much as what they do for us. And finally tonight a look at children who are out of control. More and more parents of teenagers are losing the ability to discipline and control their teenaged children. Senior citizens, who are on fixed incomes have an especially hard time buying enough of the right kinds of food to stay alive. And the problem of poor older Americans is compounded by the isolation that many seniors face. There is one agency that is successfully fighting these problems and helping the elderly stay out of institutions as well. Because a group of ladies who were socially getting together decided that

one of the big things that was needed locally was the Meals on Wheels program. Some of these ladies were professionals, and they were service work and so forth.. Another one was a retired school teacher - all of these ladies were by the way 55 years of age and over. Anyway, they started thinking about how could we get somebody to do a meals of wheels program to meet the needs of people they knew personally, who just couldn't get out and shop, would have to end up in a nursing home if they didn't have that meal delivered. So they began to brainstorm, and said, well, Nobody else is going to do it. We better see how we can do it. Now, this group of ladies met her every two weeks for two years. and...the tenacity was fantastic. They find that the program was needed by people for many different reasons. There are some people who are simply totally physically incapacitated, can't cook, and can't get out and shop, and they need a meal delivered to their home. There are other people who are isolated, lonely,

just living alone like one lady said to me, in tears, because all my friends are gone, I'm the last one. She was so happy that somebody brought her to the center where she can make new friends and reach out, one lady said to me so I thought life was over until I came to Loaves and Fishes. So, people get so dperessed and so lonely and they're not eating right ,and they're just not involved in life, and they're giving up and so Loaves and Fishes provides that place where people can come and socialize and as well as have a good balanced hot meal, and get involved with life again, and make new friends. And that's what it's about. [new speaker] In this program we are required ...to provide a third of the daily requirements. Our meal total runs, roughly seven hundred to seven hundred, seven hundred, fifty calories. We're providing a third of all daily nutrients

nutrients: vitamins, minerals, calcium, in this meal. and... ahh...for many of our people it's three meals a day. For people who live alone, it's an effort to cook I'd really like to cook, but just won't take the time have been. Or if it were simple ??? ??? living with him. ??? canned soup and ... because it's easy, it doesn't take more than a can opener... many of our elderly people... People don't have the adequate cooking facilities. We have people who are living in one room and cooking probably on a hot plate - if they're heating up their food, at all. [background noise]

[background noise] missed a hundred thousand percent...[new speaker] one of the things that I see about Loaves and Fishes too, is the real important emphasis, and that is that we are more than just a meal program. In fact, I see Loaves and Fishes as having two primary products, if we were going to talk in the terms of a commercial venture. And one of the first product of course, is the social services and the meals to older people in our community. But the other is also very important, and that is the opportunity for the community to be involved and to serve the senior citizens in their own communities, in their neighborhoods and so, there are so many volunteers involved, and we feel that its that mix is also a very, very vital part of what we do as Loaves and Fishes

Fishes is provide that opportunity - so, over 300 volunteers every day, working in Loaves and Fishes centers and delivering meals. Over a year's time, there's about 6000, because these volunteers rotate. There's about 275 churches and about 60 service clubs that provide volunteers on a regular basis to their local Neighborhood Center. And so, with this great resource of community, we're finding people just love that opportunity to be involved and they grow personally. They gain confidence in themselves, they really like this opportunity to serve and to serve older people. So we find Loaves and Fishes has those two primary products, its very important. [Music and singing] [New speaker] Well you have a little amusement, you have food, what else do you want in life? That's what I thought. [New speaker] I think This is just a tremendously important program; I sit on the committee in Washington

D.C. and was personally involved with Loaves and Fishes here in Portland as a board member and I just think it's a real lifeline to our senior citizens both from a nutritional standpoint and from a social standpoint. I think it's also clear that during these tough economic times, senior citizens, particularly low income people, are going to have difficulty making the cost of this program. I think we've got to do everything we can on a private volunteer basis to help, when the bill ??? fund the American that comes up this year. I'm going to be doing everything I can to try to make sure that Congress passes a strong Older Americans Act. So I have the greatest possible funding for the Meals program for senior citizens. Not only is it a good approach to working with senior citizens and serving their needs, but it's cost effective, because many of those are older people, with a modest amount of assistance, meals and assistance to stay in their own homes can stay out of nursing homes, and that's not good for senior citizens, but it's cost effective to society. [New speaker] The Meals on Wheels program is an on-site, home-feeding program; where our volunteer

and drivers take meals from centers and deliver them to the people at their homes. Some of the reasons for this, we're, we're trying to keep a lot of the older people in their homes, not having to have them moved to nursing home facilities. We're trying to offer a way for them to, to remain in their home. This is Meals on Wheels [man answering a phone in background] [engine noise] One of the problems we encounter here at the center is the lack of volunteer drivers; they are volunteers we are able to reimburse the mileage but we can't reimburse them for much of anything else. We have people right now that are going on a waiting list because we don't have the drivers to serve them. It takes a minimum of 5 and hopefully 10 people to open what is a new route. Another concern is the younger people asking for our services and we are funded through the Older Americans Act and so we're not able to serve those. And there is a need for those people to be served as well.

And some of our concerns or problems are with older people who think that it's a welfare program. One lady who asked to be taken off, her rent was costing more than her income was ...could not donate. It's on a strictly donation basis; a person has to have the meal stop being delivered. We went out to talk to her about it, and that was why. So now she's back on, because otherwise, she would not be eating at all. [background talking] really, really ..we're finding that older people are really having a hard hard time because of inflation. They just can't keep up, especially people on pensions and even with Social Security, increases, that inflation is really growing very rapidly. We find that the program is growing from 3 to 5% a year. So those are my concerns, and I feel it's a great challenge for all of us to keep the service going and not let anyone go without a service and no one go hungry or lonely. [ticking sound] [New speaker] Loaves and Fishes gets about one half of its funds from the federal government.

If that federal money is cut back as proposed then the program will be seriously affected. Other funds may be cut back as well, so the program will probably turn away thousands of hungry people in the future. Incidentally, if you are over 60 and need help, call Loaves and Fishes, and if you want to volunteer some assistance they would be happy to hear from you. Ben. [Ben] Americans spend more than 4 billion dollars a year on their pets. What do they get in return. Probably a lot more than they realize. Producer Victoria Fung for looked into what's happening in pet therapy a relatively new field. [New speaker] Pets You'll find them in more than half of the households in America, they serve us in traditional ways but scientists are finding that pets actually do more than most of us imagine. Portland psychiatrist Michael McCulloch is a nationally known authority on people and pet relationships. [Michael McCulloch] Pets affect their owners in many different ways but the major benefits appear to be

companionship. But companionship is kind of complicated . . . it really refers to to affiliation which is just the need to be physically close to other living things and then self esteem. Pet animals improve the self-esteem of their owners through their obedient and kind of innocent dependence that they have on their owners. [Reporter] Brian Arnell realized the value of companionship when he almost lost Monroe, his dog. Monroe had recently had surgery to remove a 15 pound tumor on his spleen. [Brian Arnell] It was very frightening and there was a real possibility he would die from the tumor or from the surgery and I was quite. . . It was very emotional, it was very intense. I didn't realize how intensely important he was to me until the possibility of not

having him was very real. For both of us our lives have changed a lot in the last 10 years and the only thing that has remained absolutely constant is the fact that the two of us are together he means a lot to me. [Reporter] Pets do more than just provide companionship and affection. Experts say pets can even help you. Studies show that people who survive heart attacks tend to live longer if they own pets. Animals help bring depressed out of their protective shell. [Michael McCulloch] We've come to realize that animals are actually catalysts to human interaction this has been observed in psychiatric wards, its been observed in nursing homes as well and the elderly person living alone, the bond can be extremely strong because that may represent their only other living relationship. [Reporter] Volta Abbott is a senior citizen who lives for her animals. [Abbott] When I was in Bremerton, Washington I was getting

$167 dollars a month, wait a minute, $138 dollars a month to live on blind from the Welfare, through the state, you know. And I was paying $65 a month house rent. So you know what I had left live on but my animals ate whether I did or not. I seen they had their food. You bet Mama I sacrifice for these babies. I don't have any family here in Portland. So I'm alone, so they mean more than most anything I can think of. [new speaker] The sacrifices people make for their animals are not at all unusual. [Michael McCulloch]People that are closest to their pets emotionally and the best owners and will allow us to do the most regardless of what financial situation they find themselves in. [Reporter] Take Linda Friedman her cat same is diabetic and requires a lot of extra care.

[Linda Friedman]So I give him a shot of insulin every day and two or three times a week I check to see what the sugar level in his urine is and adjust it accordingly and he's back up. As you can see he's a very healthy cat. I'll lock him up in the bedroom with me at night and and when he wakes up at 6:30 and yells then I'll go with him and get a urine specimen at that point. [Victoria] Do you consider yourself an animal lover? [Linda Friedman] [laughing] I guess if you put up with that kind of stuff you must be. Yes, I would. I've had dogs and cats all my life, mostly dogs but this cat turned out to be very special. I think to everybody in this house [Reporter] Strong bonds between people and pets are evident when owners talk about mortality. [Linda Friedman]I'd miss him a great deal if he were gone, I think [Abbott] I just. . . I wouldn't want to live without 'em. If anything happened to the animals and I couldn't get any more or anything. I just wouldn't care. I thing I'd just throw in the towel and say "Well, that's it" Because I wouldn't to feel like I had anything else, you know, left to live for.

[Brian Arnell]I think that if he died it would be very necessary for me to have substantial space before I would consider getting another dog. That would end a real chapter in my life. [Reporter] Pets generally make us feel better about ourselves. They offer love without criticism and they have a relaxing effect. Studies show that gazing at an aquarium or stroking an animal can actually lower your blood pressure. [New speaker] I think there are some significant ways that animals can reduce the amount of suffering that people go through. You know, we're living in a very volatile, a very explosive time. Where the amount of stress and the amount of change that we are subject to is tremendous. I think pets can provide an opportunity for a consistent bond, something that's there every day. [New speaker] For generations Americans have found our greatest source of strength, pride, and optimism in the family.

For many of us that's still true. But there is mounting evidence that all is not well in a growing number of families. Police, schools, and juvenile courts reporter a sharp erosion in the ability of parents to manage their own children. Reporter Jeff Young talked with a number of families who had found their children out of control. [New speaker] He was starting to carry weapons, he was smoking pot, he was starting to drink and all this, all at once. And I'd tell him to do stuff, and you know, well he's a big 13 years old, and he started getting physically aggressive. And when he started doing that I knew I didn't have no control over him at all, none, whats so ever. [New speaker] My son attacked me. I had been out of the hospital from surgery approximately 2 months when he had done this. If my husband had not been at home at the time

to pull him off I really don't know the reaction, I would have either had to do something drastic like grab something in the kitchen to beat him off of me or I would have ended up calling the cops. [New speaker] Jim Stayton at Multnomah County general court and I'm calling about your son. And we have . . . had the police informed you of exactly what happened? [Reporter]A police phone call in the middle of the night. S child that disappears for days at a time. A teenager refuses who to obey his parents. These are fears shared by every parent. Everyone knows a family having trouble with their kids, but in recent years the chances of that family being ours have increased substantially. One third of our violent crimes are committed by people under 20. Alcoholism in thigh schools is reaching epidemic proportions. A million kids a year are running away from home. Every generation says

kids are different than they used to be, if ever that were true it is now. [New speaker] Kids are different these days than they were years ago. For example I think it's true that there is less concern with and respect for authority. And in the family socialization process we see much less socialization to help kids cope with authority; to deal with authority; and to conform to authority and it's no accident that in schools and many places we have policemen and guard dogs. [New speaker] I'm surprised at the number of calls we get here for 4,5, and 6 year olds. I've had parents bring that young aged kid and say that "he's stealing, I cant leave change" it's already happening. We aim them towards Morrison clinic, Edgefield, one of those right away. And I really get serious with these people, I say whatever you do do it immediately. 'cause I agree. It really doesn't start when they're

11 and 12. It's just that now they've got the equipment, they've got the body build in order to say no to their parents. You know, if your 16 year old is 6'2" and says "no" there is not a heck of a lot you can do about it any more. [Reporter] When the parent loses controll, it may take the power of the police or the juvenile court to force the kind of control missing in the home. [New speaker] Some parents when they get the kid in this situation, and especially if they are on the phone, they can say anything 'cause they finally have got the kid where what they say is going to happen. "I'm not going to come and get you and you are going to stay in GBH" and the kid can't do anything about it. Where as if it was one to one and at home then the kid can react and maybe prevent that from happening, whatever it is. You understand what I mean? So - we want and it's almost like a power trip for a parent to get a child in here.

[Reporter]Without that kind of intervention many parents find themselves backed into a corner [Music, Hendricks "Purple Haze" plays in background]] confronting behavior they find unacceptable or even dangerous. National parenting organization Tough Love says rules are important and offer the structure necessary to family living and if the child refuses to follow them, a parent should be prepared to remove the child for the good of the family. [New speaker]The last part of January, our middle son he just got to the point that he thought that he was supposed to run the show and say when he could go when he was to stay home. So I packed all his clothes them in a box by the front door. So when he came home that night I asked him if he was here to stay and he says "I'm here I aren't I?" I says. "Are you going to stay here and go by the house rules which mean no smoking marijuana?" And he says "There ain't no way in heck that you can tell me whether I can or can't smoke." I says "Well there's the door."

[Reporter] When home life no longer tolerable. other teenagers find the door without being shown. [New speaker]It just blew up, literally, blew up. I went home for lunch one day and it literally blew. We had one of the worst screaming matches that two women could ever have. And when it was over and done with, I went back to work after slamming the door and she ran away. [Reporter] Sometimes it takes a blowup like Betty Erickson had with her daughter Linda for them to realize the severity of their problems. The Ericksons were lucky. A million kids a year run away, many end up on the street alone, scared, and victimized. Let them run for help. She found refuge and guidance at Harry's Mother, a nonprofit shelter and counseling service in Northeast Portland. [Linda Erickson] The first night I spent away from home, I cried. I thought, oh no, you blew it

she's never going to take you back. You're going to get stuck somewhere you don't want to be and you've really blown it. [Betty Erickson] When Harry's Mother called me and said that they had her. That she'd run away and that they wanted to keep her for three or four days, or two or three days whatever, I said I think it's a good idea. I think it's a great idea because if you send her home right now as mad as I am right now I'm libel to kill her. I said I'm just . . . I'm furious at her because I feel like anybody who runs away from their problems rather than stay to stay and fight them out is wrong. Now I know that there's a time to run it's . . . it's not really running, I guess, so much as it's regrouping. And having a third party, supposedly disinterested third party, nd I really think that they were because Harry's Mother primary concern was to try to get the family unit back together again without saying parents are all wrong in this, the child was all right, or the child is wrong and parents are all

right. Let's come on to a nice middle of the road spot. And I resented it at first. I resented a 23, 24 year old kid, which is what I considered our counselor the first couple times we went to her, telling me how to raise my kid. I mean, after all, here I've been doing it for all these years. I've been doing it for 16 and a half, 17 years, I don't know how to do it. But now I realize at that that third party that was really interested in what was best for the whole family situation was really what we needed. And so people look at me like I'm crazy when I say it's the best thing that ever happened. But it opened up lines of communication. It cemented a very good relationship, I think Linda and I have a much better relationship now than we ever had. [Reporter]Help is available for families in trouble. At youth service centers around the state, parents can learn skills designed to help their children and themselves

negotiate the difficulties and pressures of family life. [New speaker] So you're skipping with your friends. [New speaker] Yeah I do more fun things at school [ New speaker] OK so another thing is maybe not to go with the friends that skip school, would that maybe be another solution? [New speaker] Yeah but then they maybe they think things about and me like if I don't skip with them then I don't like them anymore. I don't know. [New Speaker] do you have friends that don't skip? [New speaker] Probably. [New speaker] Okay, is there a possibility that you could be around those friends more and the other ones that skip less? [New speaker] I could try, I suppose. [New speaker] Okay. [New speaker] But they're not as much fun [Reporter] Learning those skills necessary to maintain parental control aren't easy, but the hardest part is making that first step. Picking up the phone and asking for help. [New speaker] I think everybody doesn't like to admit they're wrong. That their children are bad or that they can't handle their children, but I found that, with myself, I was very much against coming to counseling

even though I knew it would probably help or it would be beneficial for somebody. And I have found that is beneficial for the whole family not for just one person. So I feel, for myself, I'm learning to become a better person and a better parent and hopefully my children will become better people for this. [Reporter] If you know of a family that's having the kinds of problems that we saw in this story Children Services Division or the juvenile court can refer you to the people who can help you in your community. [Reporter] That's all the time we have tonight. Be with us next week for another edition of Front Street Weekly. Good night. [Reporter] Good night. [Music]