Neil Gladstone; Weekend Edition

It was. Have you been putting off that gallbladder operation because you can't afford it. You have a kidney stone that just has to come out. Then hey it's time you heard about Sam's discount surgeons at Sam's discount surgeons. We can save you a bundle on that operation you so desperately need to get a lot of these prices. A PULP remove from your large intestine can cost a thousand dollars in an ordinary hospital but INSEAD will do it for just one ninety nine ninety five Cooper a liver transplant at a leading hospital. They can soak you for up to $8000. But it's Sam's. It's only 240 95 and this month special a triple bypass operation is get this and unbelievably low for 1995. Now how can Sam offer you these incredibly low prices. It's simple. We're fast. We don't waste time with a lot of unnecessary and expensive procedures in a fancy expensive hospital. An ordinary triple bypass might take six seven hours. But here at Sam's you're in and out in 47 minutes guaranteed or your operation is free. And here's another way Sam saves you money. Hospitals keep you around for days even weeks recuperating in an expensive room with nurses doctors and lots of costly equipment Sandaza. With your operation we send you home immediately actually. So if you've been putting off that operation you so desperately need there's no need to wait any longer. Let's Sam's discounters do

the job today. Call 1 800 surgery that's 1 800 surgery for a free estimate. Operators are standing by for your coffee so our MasterCard accepted sorry all operations must be prepaid. Like I was going to have this or that I was right you know since I don't know Germany very well gentle gentle gentle and darling Even case you haven't already heard the reason for our meeting today is we have just received a final FDA approval on H 6 7 3. OK go on. Now I don't need to tell you how important this is to grow up man. We've spent close to 50 million dollars in research development and testing of 8 6 7 3 8 and we are anxious that she come online as soon as possible. Now of course the first step in this process is to give her a name that sounds as important as she is and I don't need to remind you how much a good name can help us or how destructive a bad name can be. Darlene Sampson is here from nomenclature to bring us up

to date on the research her department's been doing darling. Thank you Don. Gentleman research has told us that 8 6 7 3 8 has an excellent chance of being one of the most important drugs of the decade. Now we have therefore taken on the task of giving her a name that's commensurate with this potential. Now our research has narrowed it down from over 70 candidates to the four names that you're about to hear. They are number one and number two train no sleep number three by reason. And finally number four gentleman John reflected. That's what you narrowed it down to. Yes sir. Frankly I don't like any drawdown and I waited waited and Dave. Let's hear from some of the others what about you Larry. Could I hear those one more time to really. Yes. Theft in China a slave by reso and Jerry reflected. I kind of like try no slave it sounds new and strong and like a linebacker for the Rams that OK wait wait wait wait what about you Sanders. Like the gyro flecked and it's got a good rhythm to it like Dr. Leo bonne

fete. The stuff that Pfizer brought out a couple years ago it was very big for them you know but that was my right drug to a 6 7 3 8 so what the hell is it. What the hell is it Don. Well Carl. It's a it's a cytoplasm reagent isn't it Larry going to ask me I didn't work on this one. Darley sorry sir but I don't know what it is. What do you mean you don't know I just you know I just I just I look and I just I just relax relax Dave all we're trying to do is find a name for it don't you think we should knowledge the hell we're naming my darling. Well not really sir. No our research shows that if you know too much about the function of the drug that you're naming Well it tends to limit the range of creativity when it comes to choosing a name for a while. It's true sir and I'm sad. Kills a good job and a good name can sell a bad. That's right yes. Ok sometimes you know it's very easy to do something that's not German just tell us when we are trying to come up with a name here what the drug does is beside the point now a lot of expense is going to coming up with

these names. Let's just pick the best want to be done with it every day. And so well why don't we just vote on this is all right still a very good idea Larry is anyone here opposed to voting but it's going to work out of them. All right let's let's vote Darlene would you read him off again will you. Of course. Theft in China sleep by reason and general flicked and now everyone for fact on. Now what about. What is it again. Why do I hate shopping for pants. I hate flipping through the

racks. I hate pushy salespeople and I hate spending 20 895 for something that cost me $14 last time. But most of all I hate trying pants on one by one. Knowing in advance that none of them are going to fit me right they never fit me right. They're not designed for my body. If the waist fits the bind bags out like a parachute. If the behind fits they're two inches too small in the waist parachuter turn a kit. Take your choice. I've got a 33 inch waist but pastel usually come at 33. They come in 32 or 34 so neither one fits. I take 10 or 12 pairs into the dressing room hoping there's been a design error and one of them will fit me if I'm lucky. There's something to hang them on in the dressing room. Of course I can't hang up 12 pairs of pants so I lay them on a chair. If there is a chair but where do I put the pants I reject. I used to be

considerate and try to reattach them to the hangers but now hangers have those little metal clips that make you fold the pants squeeze the plastic and slide the clips at the same time. Forget it I can't do it it takes three hands so I end up throwing everything on the floor. If I do find a pair that has possibilities I have to walk over to the mirror which is on the other side of the store. That way everyone gets a chance to see me with my tags flapping in my pant legs were rolled in the water around my ankles. This is when the saleswoman sees me. How we doing today. I'm not having too much luck really. Those look quite nice on you. Yeah but there are no back pockets and these That's the way they're wearing them now. All I really need back pockets. Have you tried the leisure sport casuals over here they have the back pocket. Yeah I tried those but there are too big in the area. Yeah how about the gentleman Johns. Which are the those are more of a dress pant.

I was looking for something casual. Yeah I get it you want a pair of Wrangler stretch marauders. My husband's a Johnny No but like you and he just love them really. Well I mean it. Johnny No but what size are we about a 30. Actually I'm 33 and about what color are we looking for the Gray or dark blue maybe I'll be right back. Shoppers Oh my god king as I stand there with my taxi out of my shoelaces untied I have visions of some teenager stealing my wallet which I left in the dressing room. Well there's no 33 but I found your thirty two and they do stretch. Oh those are Wrangler stretched marauders. The Salvation Army thrift store. As for them. I don't really care for those. They'll fit you beautifully. They're not really what I was just give em a try you'll be surprised. OK I'll try em. These are the ugliest pants I have ever seen. They look like car seat

covers. Well maybe they'll look better on all right. I wonder if I can slide on over my shoes so I don't have to take my shoes off again. Nope I'm going to have to take my shoes off again. OK. Here we go. But she's waiting for me. How we doing. Well those looks stunning on you. Yeah you're right me Dangerfield. What do you think. I think they're putrid and I want to go home. Well you know they're on sale you know 30 percent saying you know the they do fit pretty well and I've been looking for two hours. Maybe with a different shirt. The. Bit the sale ends today. OK I'll take a good Joy. Wait a minute. What am I doing. Never wear these.

They'll hang in my closet for two years till my wife makes me give them to the Salvation Army. That's all they got all those away. Better stretch the rotters in the first place. Will that be cash or charge. New from General Products. Bigger and better than ever before last longer Next faster or calorie with easy open top or less twice as strong or effect by two thirds get one third free fresh or lemon scent your family will love it. Now with giant economy so I've been in the store with more parking wider aisles bigger plastic bag brighter light a shorter line service friendlier staff better selection more locations closer to you than ever before. We're back with the good luck games from Lima Peru where the second round of the men's Gucci shuffle is just about to get underway. That's right bird. And you know many of the athletes here will tell you that the Gucci shuffle is one of the toughest events in the good luck games maybe the top.

Well it's certainly the toughest mentally but and that's why these athletes have been training since they were infants to compete in the shuffle here at the good luck. Well that's right Bernard you know the big surprise in the shuffle has been Young each of the born ex of Iceland where the first round time a two minute seven and thirty two hundredths of a second. His time is all the more remarkable because the East Germans have been the dominating force in the Gucci for 20 years. But clearly younger born x is the man to beat here today. Well that's right but and you know perhaps we should tell listeners just what's involved in shuffle competition to give them some appreciation of just how amazing young the vortexes time really is. Well Bert the Gucci shuffle is actually four events rolled into one. The competitor must crawl backwards through shaving cream make a pot of tea stuff a grape into each nostril and spit a watermelon seed 25 feet. Each of these segments requires tremendous concentration and years of training let's write but in you know in spite of younger vortexes age he seems to have mastered all of the components and this is it's true Bert if younger born x does have a weakness it's probably a seed spit but he's been working on that with a Russian coach. Andre you have to cop to improve his distance and it seems

to be paying off. Well that's right but we talked with younger next immediately after his first run to find out what's behind his tremendous showing here this week. So I am going to do. We've got to do the young Egypt good WAR NEXT of Iceland. We'll be back with the second round of the men's Gucci shuffle here at the good luck games in Lima Peru right after this. And that's just a taste of what's to come in the next 14 weeks on the Neil Gladstone and friends radio show. I hope you can join Neal Gladstone Audrey Perkins and myself Saturday afternoons from 2:30 until 3:00 o'clock throughout the summer and into the fall in Oregon Public Broadcasting radio for a weekly dose of our original comedy and music on the Neil Gladstone and friends radio show. That's Saturday

afternoons 2:30 to 3 o'clock. See you next week for episode number one right after Northwest musicians. An Oregon Public Broadcasting radio and you get the.