KYUK Incomprehensible Evening News

Good evening and welcome to Kid's News. This week we have with us Kendall Porter, Kendall. Wednesday a high school science student may discover that will change the lives of a man, woman, and child. While doing experiment on addictive substances, he found a highly addictive matter that will come in contact with every day it was oxygen. The student claimed that it takes as little as one dose of it in your hook for life. He told us that his educated guess was that there are three billion oxygen addicts in the world today. It's really getting out of habit as one of his comments on the subject. It's really quite confusing that there are so many when the withdrawal only lasts six minutes. The science teacher got it on it and assured us that many millions of people have kicked the oxygen habit, it's just that they don't like to talk about it, he said. How do you Greg?

Thanks, Kendall. School will be closed for the next few months or until new teachers are found. It is reported that all teachers have quit because of the teacher sacrificing ceremony held by the students last week. We are happy to report, the number of students present by the school lunch has gone down 10% this past week due to the rising prices of rat hairs and beetle dumb. Starting next week, there will be classes, there will be classes for students held in the recreation center. These will be to introduce to them such popular games as pool claps, poker roulette, and others. Also classes taught by Fat Parker of the Cooperative Extension Service on how to grow marijuana and how to correctly bake it into brownies.

How to stash your hash and grass class has been suggested, but there are no definite plans for it as of yet. Thanks for watching Kids News and now as a weekly part of Kids News is grown up's news. Grown up? Thanks, kids. In the local news, another escape has been made from the Bethel jail, local youth has discovered the largest find of cash and drugs ever, and plans for KCC graduation are being drawn up. In statement, as a state representative is calling for a scaled down capital city, and still another candidate has entered the race for governor. We'll hear the details on these stories in more but first here's this evening's weather report. Good evening, Mr. Jerry Hoell-Tingles are out here at the National Weather Service office. We'll receive these weather forecasts for the first of April. We'll receive the forecast for the Yukon and KSCWAM Belt area, including this year Bethel

and vicinity, mostly cloudy skies this evening become an even cloudier by tomorrow. We expect some precipitation out of these cloudy skies in the form of freezing rain, freezing drizzle, ice pellets, snow showers, or ice crystals, which ever occurs first. Just for tonight, zero degrees Fahrenheit, minus 18 Celsius, and the highs for tomorrow, 61 degrees Fahrenheit, 16 Celsius. The wind is forecast to be light and variable, mainly how the north-east of 25 miles per hour. The outlook for Monday, more of the same, however we do expect some ground fog to add to these other atmospheric phenomena. The next three times at Bethel, we have a low at 457 this afternoon, a high at 938 this evening, and a low at 701 tomorrow morning. I sit in the weather and I can tell why you can. I thanks to Jerry Jerry and the National Weather Service to that report.

Local news in the daring daylight escape to desperate convicts broke out of the Bethel city jail for the second time. Ruby 2 and Roy Mark, whose earlier escape terrorized the Delta area for almost 20 minutes, smashed their way from the maximum security wing of the jail at about 1130 this morning. 2 and Mark, rated among the most dangerous and desperate criminals in the area, apparently use some fiendishly cutting escape method that Bethel police have not yet figured out. Bethel police chief John Linghem said, quote, I can't figure out how they managed to do it again. We thought of everything, used every security device available to us. I just hope Jesse remembered to hook the latch on their cell door. Linghem went on to say that the escape apparently was planned with split second timing in his words again, quote, honest, one minute they were there the next minute they were gone.

Bethel residents were warned that both the fugitives were extremely dangerous, Sergeant Jesse Rossily said, you've got to watch out, especially that Ruby 2, she bites. Alaska State troopers and Bethel police immediately launched a full-scale manhunt throwing a cordon around the city and patrolling the area with helicopter gunships supplied by the National Guard. The fugitives alluded to the dragnet for almost 45, almost 45, 10 minutes during which police patrol the streets with bull horns and ride guns, bellowing them for them to come out with their hands up. They were finally recaptured by a party of kill-buck school students and daring citizens arrest on the steps of the now-defunct ice cream parlor. Two and Mark reportedly didn't know that the ICP was closed and were found scratching their heads and wrapping on the door. They were immediately incarcerated in the city's most maximum security penal facility as Winghem put it, we're not taking any chances with them, let them try to bust out of there.

Jesse Rossily added that as an extra security precaution, Ms. Tunes' luggage has been confiscated. Now with some more local stories, here's Blase Bessingham. Thanks Ellen. It's been learned that the Bethel Film Club will be cutting back on its programs this summer. In their place, KCC and KY UK are collaborating on several educational and instructional programs. Coming on April 4th, all programs broadcast by KY UK in the evening hours will be locally produced KCC classes and PBS programs. Some of the courses to be offered are math for the beginner, consumer fraud, political science, history of India, world geography, and several graduate level courses such as Psych 656, social cultural aspects of chemical dependency, ED 604, diagnosis, and correction of reading deficiencies, ED 651, curriculum, and instruction in the elementary classroom, and SOSH 593 group counseling and analysis of the individual.

The PBS programs that will be aired in place of Bethel Film Club shows will include such favorites as opera in America, great performances, evening at symphony, desert view, and the ever-popular Wall Street Week. In a related development, KY UK AM and television has been singled out by the National Association of Broadcasters for a Best Programming Award. In a letter notifying the station of the award, the station's great flexibility and capacity for substituting at the last minute was cited as prime contributing factors. Station manager Henry Ivanoff, just returning from Hawaii, said he was very pleased about the award. In his words, we have all worked long and hard towards this for some time. The special animal control agent was treated and released by a PHS hospital yesterday after a bizarre incident involving a dog. The incident occurred on the highway where the agent was attempting to round up several

strays. He reported that one of the dogs drew a gun and demanded that he show his city license and rabies tag when the agent refused the dog allegedly shot him. Bethel police are holding the dog for further questioning and promising a full investigation into the matter. Police Chief John Wingen reported earlier today that the largest cash and drug-find ever has been made in Bethel, and here are the details. This is John Wingen, Bethel Police Department, and approximately 9.30 a.m. this morning April 1, 1978, Christopher Schmerbach, who had been playing near the middle school, and who was six years of age, found underneath the middle school a brown paper bank containing $18,000 in cash and six ounces of pure cocaine, whoever lost this bag may claim it at the Bethel Police Department.

If no one claims the bag, Christopher Schmerbach, after awaiting the necessary prescribed time by statute, is entitled to retain the $18,000. The cocaine, in that instance, would be turned over to radio station KYUK where they would hold one of their famous parties, thank you for your cooperation. Chief Wingen did not indicate how long that waiting period will be. But the school year, with the school year nearing an end, plans for graduation are now being made. If that's from community college, registrar Chris Beetson said today that one bachelor of arts degree will be raffled off to raise money for the graduation party. Tickets for the degree are available from any KCC staff person, the drawing will be held on graduation day.

And finally, in local news, a year ago on this date, we reported a big foot had been captured outside of the Acute Chuck. This report has been found to be a rogenous after extensive testing in the KYUK laboratory. The animal in question was determined to merely be a very healthy human and was subsequently released. Recent reports that big foot is working as the director of KCC's instructional television program are also in error. And that's it for welcome. Here's now here's Corey. Went off with Satan's points. Thanks, Black Sea. A new addition to the endangered species list in Alaska has stirred controversy throughout the state. The latest endangered animals, the stickleback pig, a rarely seen inhabitant of the tongue who's ranged extends from bethel to barrel. Stick a back expert, Bill Eisenbudt, pig biologist from the University of Arkansas, said that the stickleback is a unique and interesting mammal, the only member of the pig family to be found wild in arctic regions. He added that it is the only completely fur-bearing member of the pig family.

He described the elusive pig as being about the size of a regulation basketball and looking very much like a tussock count on the tundra. Eisenbudt said that the stickleback formerly common throughout its last can range has been hunted almost to extinction. The International Wild Pig Commission, the IWC, has declared a ban on stickleback hunting, either for a subsistence or a sports purposes. Nor a slop bull may or even hops in immediately objected to the ban pointing out that the stickleback is often the only source of bacon in remote areas. He demanded a quarter of at least 12 sticklebacks landed or 18 struck. There is thus far been no response from the IWC currently meeting in Tokyo. The left ear of the female stickleback is highly prized by the Japanese silk purse manufacturing industry. A new candidate for governor has blasted his opponents for what he calls phony promises and outrageous giveaway schemes. Anchorage Independent Wally Blover, who recently entered the gubernatorial race, told reporters

that he was referring to promises of financial growth stimulation made by opponents such as Wally Hickel and Tom Fink. He also lashed out at Senator Mike Ravell's guaranteed income plan for Alaskans. Blover said, I'm not making any pie in the sky promises to voters. Instead, I'm offering good hard cash to anyone who will vote for me. Blover's plan calls for a cash payment of $11.47 to anyone who votes for him and a flat $25 fee to anyone who can prove that they voted for him twice. Blover's campaign slogan is, show me the trough. A new massive hydroelectric project has been proposed to bring cheap electric power to the Yukon-Kuskakwim Delta. State plan has announced the project at a news conference in Anchorage this morning. The proposal would involve damning the Kuskakwim River at Tundituleak to provide hydroelectric power and an extensive recreational lake.

Acting Director Wilber killed a lot of the division of energy and power development said today, the project could provide cheap electricity to an area stretching from platinum as fine north as conflict. He added that residents as far upriver as any act would benefit from the recreational advantages of Alaska's largest man-made lake. Kennell once said that the money for the dam was originally intended to be used on the Yukon River at Rampart, but that resistance on the part of environmental groups brought about a change in plans. He admitted that no state planners had yet visited the Tundituleak area that said that it looked great on the maps. The hydroelectric project is being named in honor of the former director of the division of energy and power development, Everett Beaver. It will be known as Beaver Dam. A state representative is presented a new plan for a scaled-down capital city at Willell, representative E.L. Bob Fester, a kitchen of chicken, today unveiled a plan that he claimed would save billions of dollars on that capital move.

First of all said, Fester will use a modular-type building plan that will allow us to house the entire state government in 12x14 foot-logged cabins that will eliminate such flows as electricity and plumbing. Current proposals for the capital move run anywhere from the three and a half billion dollars estimated by the capital site plan and commission to about 900 million in a recent proposal by Republican Tim Kelly of Anchorage. Fester said that the total cost of his proposal would not exceed $100,000, including the $16,000 budgeted for the capital city's new honey bucket system. In the late news, Anchorage Mayor George Sullivan has requested that his city be moved away from the proposed new capital. In a news conference this morning, Sullivan said, it's not solid waste, but everyone knows Anchorage should be the real capital of Alaska. This is where all the money is. Sullivan went on to say that as long as the state was willing to cough up billions to create what he termed a phony new capital, it ought to be willing to compensate Anchorage residents

who feel insulted by the move. This proposal, which has been endorsed by the Anchorage Chamber of Commerce, would appropriate funds to move the entire city of Anchorage to Lake Havasu, Arizona. Sullivan pointed out that although the move would be costly, there would be a considerable long-term savings and heating cost for the city. As he put it, most people in Anchorage don't really know they're living in Alaska anyway. Finally in state news, Cusca Quinn Community College and other parts of the University of Alaska system may soon be up for grabs. Chico Hoodwink, the University's Vice President in charge of finance, announced today that the institution's current financial woes have made it necessary to come up with some quick cash in order for the system to stay in operation during the summer term. Hoodwink explained that the Board of Regents has decided that several community colleges, including KCC, will be auctioned off in order to generate demeated dollars. He added that he regretted the decision, but then he was hoping the University might

be able to buy back the buildings, equipment, and property once the University regains its fiscal fee. Class shots acting president of KCC commented that she will be sorry to see the school phone, but that in her words, demes the breaks. Shots said she plans to bid on one of the KCC buildings, which she hopes to turn into a pinball parlor. That concludes state news for this evening. Now we give you the gym plasma for the sports. Thank you, Corey. The World Boxing Association has announced that Muhammad Ali has signed a contract to fight heavyweight Howard Cosell in August. The nationally televised fight will take place in Las Vegas, where the two are currently headlining an act at circus circus. When asked to comment on the upcoming Bob both Cosell and Ali were characteristically silent. Neither one appeared to be anxious to antagonize the other and repeated the phrase no comment to reporters' questions. Howard's odds maker Jimmy the Greek gave odds of 6-5, but wouldn't say in whose favor. We have a partial score in West Virginia 7.

Former President Jerry Ford, Ex-All American Guard from Michigan, has signed a three-year contract with the World Champion Dallas Cowboys to play left-right guard. According to spokesman for the Dallas Cowboys, he cost us 35 cents a game, but he's worth it. He'll report to the Dallas training camp next week. It's a slow time on the local sports scene with basketball and volleyball season having ended last week. However, the Bethel Ravens recently held their end of the season banquet, and here is a report by Raven Bev Hoffman. That's a raven that ended this season after coming in third at the Ididawat Women's Basketball Tournament, which is pretty amazing for a bunch of birds. Before leaving, all they worked it up was some of the other birds in the area, and came back to be able to call it, I mean, call it, I mean, kind. The other nights of Raven celebrated the end of the season with a big banquet, with food provided by the people at Bevall. Everyone knows next to basketball, who is the raven's next favorite sport. Many local people supported the ravens on the court, and also court to have a requiring

most of the support. But the ravens were especially like to sign those people at Bevall, because it's a good banquet they put together, and to the city of Bevall's Garbage Service were opening up their gates to them. Listen for the ravens next season as they come into a new year calling, I mean, kind. We have an update on that partial score. It's West Virginia 8, and that's it for Sports Night, here's Allen Oxer with National International News. According to a report published today in the Tundra drums previously classified government documents, which were released recently under the Freedom of Information Act, the CIA not only had prior knowledge that an assassination attempt would occur, but may have had an involvement in the murder of President Abraham Lincoln. According to the documents, which included memos to field agents and decoded foreign diplomatic messages, US agent James West was instructed by then CIA director William Seward to determine President Lincoln's movements and pass him on to his immediate supervisor, who in turn

pass those messages on to an employee of the Mesopotamian embassy in Washington. The CIA spokesman earlier said that, quote, appearances are sometimes deceiving, unquote, when asked to comment on the report, but refused to confirm or deny any of the implications. Wounded drums publisher Rosie Porter indicated that a team of investigative reporters will be assigned to that story. Former SLA member Patty Hearst serving a seven-year sentence for bank robbery in California has escaped from San Quentin, penitentiary while participating in a work release program. The warden of San Quentin confirmed rumors of the escape adding, we thought she would return, but after six weeks, it looks as if she really has formed the coop. In a related story, HR, Haldeman and John Erlichman were reported seen in Pittsburgh yesterday after their spectacular jail breaks last month.

No connection between the three separate incidents can be proven yet, but an FBI spokesperson says a mysterious increase in bank robberies and wiretaps has occurred in the last four weeks. According to TAS, the official Communist Party newspaper in Russia, the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics will undergo major economic transition in the next five years. The secretary of the Communist Party has authorized the dissolution of all collective forms and the end-to-end government-owned factories. The article cites the prolonged failure of the collective system as the major cause of that directive. According to informed sources in Moscow, the Party Chairman has asked for a special assistance from the French government in setting up a multi-party system to replace the present one-party government. Party goes on, the source goes on to, quote, Chairman Leonid Brezhnev, as saying, we don't have enough give and take in the present system.

We need to include more open dialogue between opposing views. The U.S. State Department says the shift in the internal workings of the Soviet Union will have little or no effect on Détente. In Madrid, Spain prints Juan Carlos announced on a nationally broadcast press conference that former Francisco Franco is still dead. The U.S. Department of Commerce has authorized the sale of three million tons of marijuana to mainland China, the department cited a five-year crop failure in China, and a dramatic increase in U.S. reserves as the reason. The price negotiated by Henry Kissinger is $9.3 million and five photographs of Richard Nixon and Chairman Mao. Finally in the news on Tundraview, the Environmental Protection Agency today notified K.Y. UK that its regular news feature Tundraview is doing irreparable damage to the environment and urge the station to do something to alleviate this problem, a letter from the EPA

cited claims from a local citizens group that Tundraview gives a gross misrepresentation of our terrain. The EPA requested that the station publicly respond to the allegation. In compliance with this request, we have a special Tundraview this evening. And now here's Tundraview. Thank you. And that concludes K-Y-U-K's comprehensive evening news, which was seen on television only.

News was prepared by Greg and Kendall Porter, Corey Flintoff, Beverly Hoffman, Janet Shance, Betsy Blassingham, and myself, Alan Oksery.