Le Show; 2013-10-13

From deep inside your radio, Harry, I don't have to listen to your phone calls and know what you're doing. Thanks very much, Vice President Obama, and it's reassuring. Ladies and gentlemen, what the frack, what the frack, Francis Constitutional Council this week rejected a challenge to a law banning hydraulic fracking for exploration and production of the country's shale gas and oil. So that would be the end of that in France, no fracking in France, pod-fracking, the ruling is a boost for the president who's opposed the technology to the dismay of some allies. US-based Shupak energy had challenged on four counts of ban introduced in 2011 due to potential risks to the environment, which led to two of the exploration permits being canceled in southern France. The Constitutional Council is made up of judges and former French presidents. The international energy agency says France has some of the most plentiful underground

reserves of shale gas. However, fracking was banned under former president Sarkozy, on grounds it could pollute groundwater and trigger his quakes. That's silly Sarkozy, bringing to a halt the nascent shale oil and gas industry. Dollar-foss and Chesapeake Energy's Well-Serenity-13, near Oklahoma City, came in a gusher in 2009, pumping more than 200 barrels of oil a day and kicking off a rush to drill that extended into Kansas. Now, the well-produced is less than 100 barrels a day. The swift decline of that well-shed slide on a dirty secret of the oil boom according to Bloomberg Business Week, it may not last. Shale well-started strong and fade fast. Producers are drilling at a breakneck pace to how hold output steady. In the oil fields, this incessant need to drill is known as the Red Queen. After the character and through the looking glass who tells Alice, it takes all the running

you can do to keep in the same place. Whether current production can hold up is the subject of debate. David Hughes, a geoscientist and president of global sustainability research, has examined the lifespan of Shale wells. The Red Queen syndrome just gets worse and worse and worse, he says, the higher production goes, the more wells you need to offset the decline. But in the meantime, you've done some nice stuff to the water in the land. Residents near the Marcellus Shale gas field in Pennsylvania have long been wondering whether their water is safe to drink. A new study from Duke University is likely to further inflame those fears. Geochemists have found dangerous levels of radioactivity and salinity at a fracking disposal site which feeds into water sources for Pittsburgh and other Western Pennsylvania cities. This is according to Business Insider, the Duke scientist spent two years taking soil samples upstream and downstream from the Josephine Brian treatment facility.

You remember Josephine Brian, she was a singer in the thirties. What they found was striking, even after wastewater was treated as a plant to remove dangerous chemicals, radiation was detected far above regulated levels. What do they think they are? Fook. The treated water had radium levels 200 times greater than control water from the area according to Avner-Vengache, one of the primary authors of the study. In addition, the team found high levels of bromide in the water, particularly alarming development. Drinking water plants use chlorine and ozone to turn river water into drinking water when those chemicals react with bromide though, they produce highly toxic byproducts. It's yet to happen in this particular spot, according to Vengache, but it is a dangerous possibility. The wastewater involved is a byproduct of fracking. The wastewater is a highly saline and radioactive fluid that returns to the surface during the fracking process.

Each day, oil and gas producers generate a billion gallons of wastewater, according to another Duke professor. They produce more wastewater than hydrocarbons. He says, that's the broader implication of this study. We have to do something with this wastewater. Well, since we learned this week, ladies and gentlemen, that all the water on earth came from asteroids in the solar system, I think we know what we do with the wastewater. Build an asteroid. It's payback time. And now Dick Cheney is ready to laugh about waterboarding. Conservatives gathered at the Plaza Hotel in Manhattan Monday night to roast the former Vice President at an event where many of the biggest laugh lines touched on waterboarding and other controversial policies of the key architect of the boron terror. The gathering was hosted by commentary magazine, figures there included Don Rumsfeld, the former attorney general Mike Mukasey, Senator Joe Lieberman, who said it's something to the

effect that it's nice. We're all here at the Plaza instead of encages after some war crimes trial. The event was sponsored by Rupert Murdock and other top conservatives. Two attendees said the edgy jokes were in the appropriate spirit of a roast. A third told BuzzFeed he found them in poor taste even in that setting. The dinner was punctuated by a life performance of Yiddish songs. There were some waterboarding jokes that were really tasteless, one guest said. Cheney himself told one waterboarding joke, which he attributed to Jay Leno. It centered on a one shot antelope hunting contest in Wyoming, in which the loser had to dance with an Indian squad. Cheney shot got caught in the barrel, producing a dispute over whether it counted as a hit or miss. And Cheney said that Leno said the Cheney wanted to go catch the animal with his bare hands and waterboard it. You laughing yet? Dear former vice president, it's funnier when you're not the one who approved the torture as should be obvious in a moment.

Hello, welcome to the show. Well, it may not be legal, but it's true as heck makes me safer. And it may not yield useful intel, at least that's what they say. It's a pleasure, so rare, see you in captive scope air. Let's go waterboarding, you estate. Let's go, it's not torture, if I say it, eat. So let's do what we say, we never ever do no way, let's go waterboarding, you estate. Let's go waterboarding, you estate.

There is nothing like surfing because you can't get off if you want to. And it's really hard work, but for us it feels much more like play. The tables were turned, we feel really burned, but let's go waterboarding, you estate. Let's go waterboarding, it's not torture, if I say it, eat. Let's go waterboarding, it's not torture, if I say it, eat.

So let's go waterboarding, it's not torture, if I say it, eat. So let's go waterboarding, you estate. From London, England, home of Londoners, I'm Harry Sherer, welcoming you to this edition of La Show and now it is in London. Some love it, some hate it. That's the controversial nature of this relatively new feature on the broadcast, in which we spotlight the increasing habit of folks, male and female, distinguished and not so.

Where you died in ordinary, to answer questions posed by interviewers, to begin their answers with the word so as if they're coming to some conclusion when actually they're just just opening the pack. So here we go with yet another example. This from a head of a hedge fund called Pimco, Mohamed El Arian, in a discussion with some folks I think in Bloomberg on the impending debt ceiling problem. Enjoy. There are risks that China could sell. So there isn't a risk that they would sell because remember you cannot replace something with nothing. Mohamed, project out if you will what happened if America does crash through this debt barrier. What could happen next?

So we've done lots of scenarios. The fact that President Obama has not nominated somebody to fill this position yet, how risky is that? So it's risky. Why should we have confidence that any central banker has a good crystal ball? So clearly they don't. How far down that path are we? So we are a little bit down that path but we can we claim quickly to quite a bit. But the government is still shut down. That's not much better. So the impact of the shutdown is both temporary and reversible. How do you move forward? So polarized. So I asked that question in DC, I was there yesterday. That's right. Mohamed, the head of PIMCO, one of the nation's largest hedge funds, heading us so fast today. Here on LISO, and now ladies and gentlemen, the Olympic movement, produced by Jim Eversall, Jr.

Athletes and spectators attending the Winter Olympics in Sochi will face some of the most invasive and systematic spying and surveillance in the history of the Olympic Games. This according to documents shared with the newspaper of the Guardian, Russia's powerful FSB security service, that's the successor to the KGB and KGBFM, plans to ensure that no communication by competitors or spectators goes unmonitored during the Games.

This is according to a dossier compiled by a team of Russian investigative journalists looking into preparations for the 2014 Games. In a ceremony in Red Square last week, President Putin held the Olympic flame aloft, saying Russian its people had always been imbued with the qualities of openness and friendship, making Sochi the perfect destination for the Olympics. But government procurement documents and documents from Russian communications companies indicate that the newly installed telephone and internet spying capabilities will give the FSB free reign to intercept any telephone or data traffic and even track the use of sensitive words or phrases mentioned in emails, web chats and in social media. What do they think they think they think they are, the NSA? The journalists who are experts on the Russian security services, Andresol Datov and Irina

Boragon, collated doesn't, I hope they've got good security, collated dozens of open-source technical documents as well as public records. They found that major amendments have been made to telephone and Wi-Fi networks in the Black Sea resort to ensure extensive and all permeating monitoring and filtering of all traffic using SORM Russia's system for intercepting phone and internet communications. SORM was directed to be updated in 2010. It was specified that should be done in secret. SORM-1 captures telephone and mobile phone communications, SORM-2 intercepts internet traffic, and SORM-3 collects information from all forms of communication. Since 2010, Russian authorities have been busy making sure that SORM equipment is properly

installed in Sochi. Several local ISPs were fined when it was discovered they had failed to install Omega, the SORM device recommended by the FSB. Visitors determined to take their laptops and smartphones to Sochi may think their communications are safe thanks to sophisticated encryption provided by Google and Facebook. They are likely to be wrong. Your communications are ours, the Olympics, its movements, and we all need one, every day. On a related issue, Skype is being investigated by Luxembourg's Data Protection Commissioner over concerns about its involvement, its secret involvement, with the NSA Spy Program

Prism. That's the one that the Guardian newspaper revealed thanks to the documents stolen, deliberated by Edward Snowden. Skype could potentially face criminal and administrative sanctions in Luxembourg, including a ban on passing users' communications covertly to the USA. Skype is headquartered in Luxembourg, but that's convenient for tax purposes, isn't it? Even though it's owned by Microsoft, it could be fine if an investigation concludes the data sharing is found in violation of the country's data protection laws. The country's data protection chief, yeah, they got one of those, not wild, but they don't have a secretary of agriculture though. He declined a comment for the story in the Guardian as did Microsoft, strange, because Microsoft is usually so forthcoming, Luxembourg has attracted several large corporations, including

Amazon and Netflix due to its tax structure, don't you know? But its constitution enshrines the right to privacy. Oh, come on, really? And states that secrecy of correspondence is inviolable unless the law provides otherwise. Several elements of communications in Luxembourg can only occur with judicial approval. Yeah, but are secret judges okay for that? We'll find out. It's unclear whether Skype's transfer of communication to the NSA have been sanctioned by Luxembourg through a secret legal assistance of data transfer agreement that would not be known to the data protection commissioner. When Microsoft acquired Skype, some types of data flow to NSA tripled in that wild. This is according to top secret documents seen by the Guardian. Microsoft bought Skype for 8.5 billion.

That was the first technology group to be brought within the initiative known as Prism. Once considered a secure chat tool beyond the reach of government eavesdropping, Skype is now facing a backlash in the wake of the Prism revelations. So there you go, when you tick off Luxembourg, ladies and gentlemen, you wake the sleeping giant. Don't poke that tiger in the nose. So just a few words, just a very few words on the subject that's getting way too many words this weekend and this week in the United States, the subject of the debt ceiling. Ladies and gentlemen, do you know if you want to talk about American exceptionalism and Americans appear to want to, here's an area where I think by no, we stand almost alone. That's right.

There's only one other country in the world that has a ceiling, a legislative ceiling on its national debt. You'd think everybody would, wouldn't you? From the way it's being talked about? Now it's us and Denmark, everybody else gets along without one. How do they do that? Volume. No, all right. I'll talk to the lower. The United States is the only country in the world except for Denmark to have a debt ceiling, a ceiling on its national debt. Makes you proud. You is. And of course we have it because it's in our Constitution, thanks to the founders, no. We didn't have a debt ceiling until 1917. We did, I guess we did okay with that one, but we're doing so much better now, right? And what, 80%, 90% of the national, of our national debt is held by China and that is the reason, no, of the 16 trillion, a bit, Trinion, something like that.

I think China has one 16th. But aside from that, they're all, everything you hear is, is correct. Oh, and by the way, the deficit has been going down. And now ladies and gentlemen, the apologies of the week. It's been going down because it's the recession, but still. Dayline Warsaw, a top official in Poland's Catholic Church has apologized for a comment he made about pedophilia by priests, but he said he did not mean to suggest the child victims were partially responsible. At a hastily call news conference this week, Archbishop Joseph McCulloch, the head of the Conference of the Episcopate, said, I'm sorry for this misunderstanding.

Earlier in the day, he had made an off the cuff comment of reporters about recent cases of pedophilia by Polish priests. He had said that a child from a troubled family, quote, seeks closeness with others and may get lost and may get the other person involved too. And now he's sorry for the misunderstanding, you see. Tommy Robinson is apologized for spreading fear among British Muslims. Following his departure from the English defense league earlier this week, Robinson, whose will name is Stephen Jaxley Lennon, said, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for calling Islam a fascist and violent religion and for having blamed every single Muslim for getting away with the bombings on July 7th, 2007. In an interview with the Guardian Robinson, said he wanted to apologize for creating a culture of us and them and for issuing controversial race-led comments throughout his time as leader of the organization. The deal was founded in 2009 by Robinson and co-founder Kevin Carroll, who also dramatically quit this week.

I apologize for creating that fear, said Robinson, but there's fear in my house too. A preview of what's come to come in news about the atom, they line Tokyo, the owners of Japan's damaged Fukushima nuclear plant, Teppko apologized after several workers at the site were accidentally doused with highly radioactive water this week. Authorities do not believe they were exposed to a health risk, but the accident is the latest in a series that have called into question. Teppko's sanity, so Teppko apologized. Dave Lennon the Hague, the Dutch foreign minister apologized to Moscow this week for the detention of a Russian diplomat in the Hague, saying his right to diplomatic immunity had been violated. Russian embassy officials said Dutch police entered the diplomat's home, beat him with a baton and illegally detained him for several hours last weekend. Others and Putin had demanded a Dutch apology for the incident. Is that a certain kind of an apology, a Dutch apology?

Is it like Chinese whispers? Moscow and the Hague are already at odds over the detention in Russia of Greenpeace activists to Fumar Dutch citizens. Fox News host Anna Kuhlman, or sorry, Kuhlman apologized last week for reporting a story as news that actually originated on a satirical site. He called his to Fox and friend Saturday was talking about the government shutdown, when she said President Obama had offered to personally pay for a museum of Muslim culture while the Republican National Committee was willing to pay to keep warm memorials open. It really doesn't seem fair, especially, she said. That was a fake news story about Obama offering to personally pay to keep the International Museum of Muslim Culture open, Kuhlman tweeted out an apology, just met with producers I made a mistake yesterday after receiving flawed research. My apologies won't happen again. They line New Delhi, organizers of Miss Universe extended their deepest apologies to India over a photo shoot at Taj Mahal that triggered a police case in accusations that she disrespected

the famed monument to love. Miss Universe Olivia Kuhlpo, a 21-year-old American from Rhode Island, visited the Islamic Muslim during a 10-day tour of India during a time at the World Heritage site she posed for cameras with branded shoes. Police filed a case because any advertising or promotional work is banned at the Taj Mahal. Miss Universe organization would like to extend its deepest apologies to the people of India for the incident devolving the reigning Miss Universe at a statement. It said Kuhlpo was making a video diary for fans as part of these videos we sometimes incorporate sponsors into these shoots. It said, adding the footage was not meant for commercial purposes. So why do you incorporate sponsors? Oh, just a thing. Quote, we sincerely apologize for any unintentional harm our indiscretion and insensitivity may have caused. Ended the statement from Miss Universe pageant.

A soccer coach from Panama, Julio Dele Valdez apologized for a joke he made about the Mexican players prior to a world cup qualifier between the two countries. The two teams are tied, both need a victory to advance. I do not make one apology but thousands of apologies from whom ever I offended with my joke. Dele Valdez said he was referring to the presence of naturalized players from Argentina on the Mexican team, he said, will they be singing the national anthem of Mexico or Argentina? That's a, that's a chainy level joke. He said he never wanted to offend those born in Mexico who will be at the game or those who have been naturalized. Well, who does he want to offend then? An Air China official addressed passenger complaints from October 6th that the beef-filled buns offered on flight 1268 were expired according to the official there was a mix up with the frozen food packaging bags. Air China has apologized and prepared to send a batch of beef-filled buns to authorities

for inspection. Brazil's Truth Commission is so nutty to have a thing like that. As apologized for the government's racist maltreatment and detention of its large Japanese community during the Second World War, there's a trend here, didn't Canada just apologize for that? In a step that could open the way to compensation claims, uh oh, 25 years after similar steps by the U.S., the move to make amends has been welcomed by groups representing the one and a half million migrants and second and third generation descendants to Brazil will make up the biggest ethnically Japanese population outside of, yes, Japan. Thousands of families were arrested or deported as potential spies or collaborators after Brazil declared war in Japan in 1942. What were you waiting for? Brazil. The government also closed hundreds of Japanese school seized communications equipment and forced the relocation of Japanese who lived close to the coastline. Survivors have testified about the use of torture. I think Dick Cheney would find that in music, and that creating loyalty tests to which Brazilian

Japanese were forced to step on an image of Emperor Hirohito, who was then considered a deity in his country. The Truth Commission saw video testimony of survivors and their children, including one who said his father was arrested and tortured, along with other prisoners. The Commission made a formal apology and will include their findings in a report to the government, which will include other infringements of human rights in modern Brazilian history. That's a wild you would do that. Move along. That's looking backward, not forward. They had lined Detroit Chief Financial Officer Jim Bon Saul, who publicly apologized Thursday for offending co-workers in a recent meeting has been put on paid suspension. I apologize and I'm sorry for having offended co-workers over comments I made in a recent meeting, Bon Saul said in a statement, regardless of the outcome of the internal investigation or whether I keep my job as a result of it, it was never my intention to offend anyway or anyone, sorry. This was in response to a treasure, Cheryl Johnson, the city treasure, who was black and

was demoted as the finance director to city treasurer. She's alleging that Bon Saul, who was white, had made racially charged comments. Her letter said her demotion is related to her disclosing that he's created a hostile work environment and subjecting us to ethnic harassment, according to her letter. She occurred, the incident occurred while Johnson was informing Bon Saul about how city appoints traditionally patrol neighborhoods during the three-day angels night. Bon Saul asked if he could ride with a Detroit police officer, Johnson said he could ride with a family member or friend. Bon Saul stated he wouldn't subject his family to that and then asked, quote, can I shoot someone in a hoodie? Unquote. Attendees at the new 2013 New York comic con. This week found out they were sending tweets about the event without their knowledge. The organization has since apologized and sat down the service.

The Polish bishop's conference has actually apologized for the sexual abuse of children by the clergy. The pedophilia problem is appearing in schools, sports clubs, stadiums, and facilities for education and upbringing, but also it pains us to admit in church circles. The bishop said, we apologize for those clergy who have harmed children and are doing everything in our power, so such situations are not repeated in the future. And the bishop's criticized media coverage of the abuse scandal. A day after the Los Angeles Unified School released two claims accusing him of harassment, school board president Richard Vlatovic admitted this week he violated the district's civility policy and apologized to employees who felt intimidated by him. Vlatovic said he sought professional help for anger issues. I did get up a set of people. He said, I did tell them things I shouldn't have told him, there's a better way. Unquote. This is by the way the same school district, which is spending multiple millions giving

every student supposedly in the district iPads while musical instruments sit unrepaired in the school district warehouse and kids in music class don't have instruments to play. To apologize for you think the Hawaii Health Connector is apologized for delays in implementing the health insurance exchange created a result of the Affordable Care Act. The prepared statement sent to the media did not elaborate on what is causing the delay. And the chief executive of AIG, remember them, the big insurance company we had to bail out, Robert Ben Mosh met with Elijah Cummings, a Congress person to apologize for comparing the outrage over employee bonuses paid by the bailed out insurer to lynchings. Ben Mosh told the Wall Street Journal last month at the uproar over bonuses. Quote was intended to stir public anger to get everybody out there with their pitchforks

and their hangman nooses on all that sort of like what we did in the deep south, unquote. In our meeting, I apologized for my reference to the south and the impact that it had on representative Cummings and others. Ben Mosh said in a statement, explained I was responding to a reporter's question of certain actions I felt were wrong at the time of the financial crisis. Ben Mosh has previously apologized for the statement. So this would be now the second one. The apologies of the week latest gentleman copyrighted feature of this broadcast and apropos of bonuses to bankers, I said bankers. The credit defiled swaps, CDOs, what the hell they were, my baby knows.

Sure they collapse, but his wealth grows avoiding the U.S. just begging his balls. The A bag full of mail

His yard has gold Thread in its sale And the deck he will fold us And brag on his borders The bonus was paid To keep him around So the money that vanished Could somehow be found And his fabulous trades could Be somehow and wild And I'm millions he's sitting Tomorrow he's quitting Here's my bonus bravely Keeping his karma From country cuts crazy Bonus bravely Pulling a chair Protecting his dancing He keeps me in diamonds

And three cans of milk Crystal is the only thing He'll let me drink And in the green He is in the pink To the moon he's flown us Thanks to his bonus They build out his fur To keep it on track And someone upstairs was a bleed Smoking crack Now they want babies To give his books back But it's balls that he shows He's keeping his balls He's my bonus bravely Got it and got it out To get it was real Bonus bravely Don't know for us

Here's my bonus bravely Got it and got it out To get it was real Here's my bonus bravely This is the show And this week The Nobel Peace Prize did not go to Tom It did not go to Tom That's right It went to the organization That is the watchdog For getting rid of chemical weapons around the world And as we learned

That progress has been made Actually the first steps in Getting rid of serious chemical weapons Have been taken At that same time And apropos of winning the Nobel Peace Prize The head of the chemical weapons watchdog Issued a statement which included this comment Certain states have not observed the deadline Which was April 2012 For destroying their chemical weapons This applies especially to the United States and Russia Did you heard that? Anywhere else? I had Nuddy After he gets Obama's prize And now News of attack The self-same

aforementioned Malala Malala Says her country is being devastated by opium addiction Injustice against women And continued presence of the United States and NATO forces Propping up a Cabrrupt Quote Puppet regime Malala Says that That's right Who did? Malala She spoke of severe punishment for women And said Even though by speaking out Afghan women with death Or end up going into hiding it as our duty to speak out She said Monday marking the twelfth anniversary of the occupation of Afghanistan By the quote big powers It's been bloody years She said during which the violence and crime have been directed mostly at women and children She added Quote No nation can liberate another nation It has to come from within the nation Dismissing the announcement that US and Allied troops will leave the country as a political gimmick to deceive the American people Well, no wonder she didn't win the peace prize Talking like that Good Lord President Karzai

Appeared on a British television news program called News Night He criticized NATO for failing to bring stability to Afghanistan over a decade there The entire NATO exercise was one that caused Afghanistan a lot of suffering, a lot of loss of life And no gains because the country is not secure quoting President Karzai He said NATO incorrectly focused the fight on Afghan villages rather than Taliban safe havens in Pakistan Our friend What we wanted was absolute security and a clear cut war against terrorism He said that's we there is partial security He said his government is actually actively engaged in talks with the Taliban He said the return of the Taliban will not undermine progress However, one of the reasons that there is tension between Afghanistan and the United States As revealed in the weekend's talks between President Karzai and Secretary of State John Kerry

John Kerry who made an unannounced trip to Kabul to talk with Karzai Is that the United States captured Latif Mesud, an influential Pakistani Taliban commander He was captured by U.S. forces Afghan government officials said that they had spent months trying to recruit Mesud as an interlocutor for peace talks And he was forcibly taken into American custody while he was being transported to a facility controlled by Afghan's national security directorate A Karzai spokesman called it a major breach of sovereignty And guess who's running for President Afghanistan? We told you last week Zal May Khalizad, the former U.S. Ambassador to Afghanistan, but now Add another hat to the ring One of the another one, another brother of Hamid Karzai

Kayum Karzai He's got a considerable resume He owns a restaurant in Baltimore, Maryland He owns a construction company that does a lot of business in southern Afghanistan He was one of the rare candidates who signed up without any Mujahideen leaders on his ticket We are the clean team Said another Karzai brother, Mahmoud, who's closely involved in Kayum's campaign He hopes to win the votes of ethnic Uzbeks So he's going for the Uzbek boat That's how it looks from over here, how does it look from over there From Afghanistan Public Radio, recommending you enjoy your driveway moments inside your house From the newly re-fortified presidential palace and downtown Kabul, the city that always sleeps

I'm Mahmoud And I'm Hamid, we're Tik and Tok, the running out of time brothers Welcome to Karzai Talk Today's program comes to you with the assistance of the Afghan election board Assuring free and fair elections since sometime late next year Speaking of elections, my brother Isn't it always the Americans who are telling us that elections have consequences? Yes, but they forget to tell us that one of the consequences is that the government shuts down They have so much to teach us about democracy And so little time As a matter of fact, our American friends may be pulling all their people out next year They're just saying that, unless we make certain concessions to them Yes, they want half the proceeds of our next two pledged rise What's half of nothing?

Hello, you're on Karzai Talk Hello, I'm John, a long time out announced visitor, first time caller Well Mr. Secretary, so good to hear from you so soon after we failed to reach an agreement Hello, if I didn't talk to people I didn't agree with, when he died, I'd never talk to anybody Including your wife Especially my wife He really is married I was just calling to reiterate that I hope there are no hard feelings about us arresting someone with whom you were trying to conduct peace talks But we thought it was a bad guy Mr. Secretary, I know my brother wouldn't say this, but in this country everybody's a bad guy John, as I said in our meeting, I hope there are no hard feelings about us Wanting a guarantee that you'll protect us in case of attack Well, Hamid, not only are there no hard feelings about that, there are no feelings about that You can't ask for less than that

Well, I imagine you are just about to make your unannounced departure I already have, I'm calling from the plane How unannounced can you be? Thanks for the call Very nice man Indeed, we get many gifts of course Of course, cause we deteriorate But until John, no one had ever brought us two pallet loads of ketchup Hello, you're on Calhito Hello, I'm Calhume Long time old brother, first time caller This is the wonderful thing about the public radio It brings families together Calhume Aren't you being a little modest about all of your accomplishments? Yes, as a matter of fact, I'm very proud of my modesty Well, I happen to know that you own the fine Afghan restaurant in the Baltimore area We give this chance And you also have quite a portfolio of media properties here in southern Afghanistan You're kind of the Kandahar Rupert Murda Except I choose my wife more carefully

But now if I'm not mistaken and I better not be because I'm present You are running to succeed me, aren't you, Calhume? Well, I thought that the time had come for me to take what I'd learned Running my businesses, including my construction company And apply it to government Meaning, so you can cut out the middleman and just give the contract to yourself Don't you say that's the bitterness of a brother who's stuck selling toy autos to people who don't have to buy them? Well, maybe we should bypass the sibling issues and find out if you have a question for us Since that's what the format calls for the format also calls for us to be entertaining And we've ignored that for seven years Well, I guess my question is, whether you think the uparmored Humvee is the appropriate vehicle for me to ride in and the occasion of my inauguration Or do you think given the security challenges, I might need something a little more robust

Well, dear old brother, if I may There is the little detail of winning the election first Oh, if I know Calhume, he's got a very strong get-out-of-vote campaign Are we doing tea? It's already being tested, better tested in South Canda Hard It's called get-out-of-vote or get-out The focus group tells us people really do prefer to stay in their homes Well, all other things being equal, Calhume I think a bubble-top Bradley Amhert vehicle might be the right choice for your inaugural motorcade You will be planning a motorcade Well, some kind of kid just for the pump of it I think I can get you a deal on a Bradley armoured vehicle, Calhume or at least Toyota Roadrunner That looks like one And Hamid, my younger brother, as your presidential term comes to a constitutionally mandated in And we know what that's called

How do you see your future playing out? Lots of bodyguards, of course More bodyguards than at a Kanye West video shoot But seriously, I look forward to continuing to help my people And to spending less time with my family So, basically, you'd like to buy my place in Maryland? Well, I'd like to do some teaching, some consulting, to draw on my wide range of international contacts Basically, he wants to be Tony Blair in a green robe Well, who does it? Only Bill Clinton Well, of course, Calhume We know that there's a brother of the host brothers You're welcome here at any time up through the election After which we can only hope we're welcome here Thanks for the call We had helped today from the Afghan Heritage Foundation

I think tank for the rest of us Legal services for cars I talk come from the law firm of Ketchum and Nukam I'm Hamid and I'm Machbood Join us again for another edition of Carzai Talk This is APR, Afghanistan Public Radio Open up the window Say the AC Free from the grips of the humidity Time to treat your shots for jeans It's on them and do all things Just like the springtime Without the bus Breeze is a scanner As grandma was us Streets are filling up

With touristy All the men do all things Scenes back clean Magnolia's way She ain't off the last prank these beings Part of time beginning Scenes keep winning Who knows where this thing leads Second line starts sneaking Up and down the street Glove hands clapping To the dance and feet Friday night fish rise Wide limousine All the men do all things Scenes keep winning

Who knows where this thing leads To the dance and feet To the dance and feet To the dance and feet To the dance and feet To the dance and feet To the dance and feet To the dance and feet To the dance and feet The Let's call in.

Dogman, Megan, Swiffer, join. Ghosts, Jupiter, Romance, and it's all dancing. Soon enough, the fine pie is born. So good-minded, grilling. And those is willing. Big stuff up, awesome red beans. Welcome back the honoring Jehovah. I know Ries. I-N. Oh. I knew Ries. And now, ladies and gentlemen, news of the atom.