Le Show; 2010-05-30

From deep inside your radio. Ladies gentlemen, I don't pretend to have any, particularly inside sources, but I am given to understand that this is the actual story behind what you all know now is the BP's latest attempt to stem the flow of oil. Top kill failed officially as of Saturday. As I say, I'm given to understand that this is the actual story. The well thought it was being force-fed Steven Seagal's latest film and it acted accordingly. As any of us would. The executive who drew the short straw on the Sunday act shows had to show up and defend BP and all the Sunday act shows using the same phrase on every show virtually.

I think he missed one. We didn't succeed in wrestling this beast to the floor. Mmm, that's macho. And he now says, I think it's at Dudley, says that, well, we knew that there were a lot of risks with top kill. And nobody bothered to say, but Mr. Dudley right here, right here, all of the statements that BP was making as it was announcing and initiating top kill was that it had a 70-30 chance of working. So when BP gives you those odds, bet short, ladies and gentlemen, that's my advice. Now there are conspiracy theories, a galore about why BP might be wanting the flow of oil to go unstanched. I don't subscribe to any of them, except for the one that says they wanted to delay the closing of the well as long as possible because they're being filmed for a new A&E reality

show called Deep Water Dances, I kind of give a little credulity to that one. This is Memorial Day weekend, and it's time to support our troops. So this might be uppercall. For 30 years, thousands of Marines and their family members at Camp Lejeune, North Carolina, drank, cooked with, and bathed in water that was laced with dangerous chemicals. But when outside contractors began raising questions about the toxic water document show, police officials rebuffed them and ignored the warnings, or ordered more tests. The worst of any wells were finally shut down in November 1984, more than four years after the first warnings, and that time more than 2,500 babies may have been carried in utero on the base or born at Camp Lejeune Hospital. Thousands of pages of documents tell the story of how the contamination was allowed to continue. They show that Camp Lejeune officials had been told consistently that something very foul flowed through the base's pipes. Congress this past Friday, just on the eve of Memorial Day weekend, has demanded more data.

The buried lead department has this, which I think is from the Washington Post. Yes. It's a story about a new report on Guantanamo Bay prison detainees. Some of them are about 10% of the 240 detainees were leaders, operatives, and facilitators, but the majority were low-level fighters, according to this previously undisclosed government report. That's the real lead. That's the lead that the Washington Post chose, but way down in the story. You get to this. This task force determined that there were, quote, more than 1,000 pieces of potentially relevant physical evidence, including electronic media, seized during raids in the aftermath of the September 11th attacks that had not yet been systematically catalogued, unquote.

Dots, that's what that's worth. Those dots are going unconnected because they're not even dots, they're not even real official dots. You see, ladies and gentlemen. We're too late to figure that out. The Pentagon may be sharply reducing its combat forces in Iraq. The military plans to step up efforts to influence media coverage in that country, as well as here at home, quote, it is essential to the success of the new Iraqi government and the US forces a recognition that both communicate effectively with our strategic audiences, Iraqi, Pan-Arabic, or international, and US audiences, to gain widespread acceptance of core themes and messages, this is from the pre-solicitation notice for a civilian contractor to provide strategic communication management services in Iraq. Talk to the people who were running it for BP, they're doing such a good job.

Strategic communications is a vital component of operations in Iraq, the notice says. Yeah, we've noticed. Speaking of Gitmo, the worst of the worst, of course, is what we were told consistently. That's who's there. But this week, a federal judge ordered the Obama administration to free a Yemeni man from Guantanamo. He has long claimed he was captured in Pakistan, studying the Quran, like anybody does that, and had no ties to al-Qaeda. US District Judge Henry Kennedy, Jr.'s ruling claimed it was a rule that was unlawful detention, in the case of Muhammad Hassan, Hassan, Hassan. He's 27 now. US raised the number of detainee wins in Guantanamo detention challenges to 36, in case you're looking at the percentage since the US Supreme Court authorized habeas corpus challenges to detention at Guantanamo, not a bargram, or other secret prison, but at Guantanamo, the one loss percentage for the United States government is 14 wins, 36 losses.

14 detainees have been ruled legally detainable, 36 have been freed. Good percentage, don't you think? Where would that catch in the in-base ball? What? D? Classification? C? Maybe? D. D. League. Civilian judges have upheld the military detentions of 14 foreign men, among the 181 war on terror captives at the US Navy base, Hassan argued at his status hearing back in 2004 that the first time he heard of Al Qaeda was in the prison. He claimed he'd been unjustly rounded up in a March 2002 dragnet by Pakistani security forces in the city of Faisalabad, a dragnet that targeted Arabs, including himself, a student of Islam. He's the third person captured in the same raid, which has been ordered released since the Supreme Court, habeas corpus ruling.

And from Washington, just a sense of the pace of change, because change, we voted for it. So how is it going? I think inclusion of a more than two-hour meeting Wednesday night in the Oval Office according to the Washington Post, President Obama turned to interior secretary Ken Salazar and made clear that he had to do more to ensure the agency could manage the oil spill. Here's Obama's quote, this last Wednesday night, quote, you need to have people in the top jobs who can actually do them. The pace of change lives in settlement. Hello, welcome to the show. Okay, you.

Sitting here in the boat, looking for the dice to roll, Sitting here in the boat, That's some time to search my soul. Well, they're putting up resistance, but I know that my fate will lead me on. I don't know where life will lead me, but I know where I live. I can't say what life will show me, but I know what I've seen. Try my hand at love and friendship, but all that is best and wrong. This little boy is moving on. Sitting there in the boat, waiting for the dice to roll, Sitting here in the boat, knowing that I have to go.

Well, they're putting up resistance, but I know that my fate will lead me on. I can't say what life will show me, but I know what I've seen. I can't say where life will lead me, but I know where I live. Try my hand at love and friendship, but all that is best and wrong. This little boy is moving on. Sitting there in the boat, waiting for the dice to roll, Sitting here in the boat, knowing that I have to go.

Well, they're putting up resistance, but I know that my fate will lead me on. Sitting in the boat, waiting for the dice to roll, Sitting here in the boat, Sitting here in the boat, waiting for the dice to roll, Sitting here in the boat, waiting for the dice to roll, Sitting here in the boat,

Sitting here in the boat, waiting for the dice to roll, Sitting here in the boat, knowing that I have to go. From the oil be fouled Gulf Coast from the shores of Lake Pontchartre and Louisiana from New Orleans. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Harry Scherer, welcoming you to this edition of the show and putting it all points bulletin out for a general honoree. We need you, babe.

And now news, actually, it's tales of airport security for your listening pleasure. And mine, I'm listening to. It's only fair. This is from Carl. His last name concealed to confusing with all of their carls. Dear Harry, as someone who seeks to avoid confrontations with authorities, I think he's speaking of himself. I emailed to make sure a stick deodorant and powdered detergent for washing socks, etc. We're not prohibited carry on items. We didn't want to waste $25 checking our baggage. But TSA was confused by such a complicated question and couldn't give me a direct answer.

So when we started to enter the security line at San Francisco Airport a week later, even I was surprised by the agent's insistence that we would have to check one of our carry-ons because it had wheels attached. A person with slightly greater authority finally came over and allowed us to take the piece with us on board as long as we agreed to carry it, not roll it. We haven't been able to find any reference to this regulation on TSA's webpage. As of airport security, let us know in my copyrighted feature of this broadcast.

And now it's clean to safe, it's cheap, it's too clean to be safe, to meet or touch be cheap, to be safe, to be clean. The Nuclear Regulatory Commission staff has issued its report on groundwater contamination at the Vermont Yankee Nuclear Power Plant, operated by ENTERGE. These are the Tritium leaks we've been talking about on this broadcast for some time now. The report says, quote, no violations of nuclear regulatory commission requirements or findings of significance were identified, unquote. The focus of the investigation was ENTERGE's response to the leakage of radioactive liquid into groundwater identified earlier this year, as well as the company's implementation of the Groundwater Protection Initiative, the GPI, instituted by the nuclear industry in 2007. In its report, the Nuclear Regulatory Commission staff states its extensive reviews have found ENTERGE took prompt and effective action to identify the source of the leakage, halt it, and develop an effective plan to address any resulting groundwater contamination.

It did find that some voluntary aspects of the Groundwater Protection Initiative were not completed at the plant in Vermont. The affected groundwater at Vermont Yankee is not used for drinking water purposes. Just goes into the ground, you know, goes away, is that what happens when things go under the ground? It's like garbage. On the other hand, so that would seem to be a clean bill of health from the staff of the Nuclear Regulatory Commission. On the other hand, ENTERGE's nuclear officials failed to investigate five sinkholes that developed outside the reactor building for the past two years that were near the site of that leak, and a state official in Vermont says he believes the radioactive leak at Yankee had been going on for two years before it was discovered by ENTERGE in early January, based on hydrology studies, should be looking at groundwater that doesn't go anywhere. William Irwin is radiological health chief for the Department of Health in Vermont.

He says during the first media attended at Vermont, Yankee after the Tritium leak was discovered, he heard a top level engineer say he had seen a sinkhole near where ENTERGE finally found the leak. The engineer of the city filed a condition report with plant officials about the sinkhole, sometime late August or early September, five different reports have been filed about such sinkholes in that area according to the state. That was the first place ENTERGE looked for the source of the leak. But there were several sinkholes observed in the area of the leak dating back to July 2008. Nuclear safety associates at consultant hired by the state of Vermont said the failure to look into the sinkholes was a quote, missed opportunity unquote to find the leak a year or more before it was discovered. And that's such a clean bill of health. And then to complete the trifecta of information about the situation Connecticut, we have this. A Connecticut river fish caught four miles upstream from the Vermont Yankee nuclear reactor.

This winter tested positive for low levels of strontium 90. That highly dangerous radioactive isotope that was recently confirmed in the soil outside the plant. See, the NRC's report only deals with the tritium leak, not with the leak of strontium 90. The Department of Health said the fish's strontium 90 was not related to the tritium leak at Vermont Yankee. State officials attributed the strontium to atmospheric testing in the 1960s, oh, and the Chernobyl nuclear disaster. So Chernobyl is still poisoning fish. The fish posed no health or safety problem, said the Vermont Department of Health. And it said most fish in Vermont would have similar levels of radioactivity. Eat more beef, Vermont. Because it's clean, it's safe, it's cheap, it's too clean to be safe. It's nuclear power. Now ladies and gentlemen, oh yeah, well, this starts our oil spill segment, as you might think.

But we start first with a report from the special Inspector General for Reconstruction in Afghanistan. Our work to date, he says, has identified several issues that hamper the reconstruction efforts in Afghanistan. I am particularly concerned, he says, about three issues that our auditors have identified over the last year. Inadequate planning, questions about sustainability and accountability. Aside from that, Mrs. Lincoln, it's a fine, fine situation over there. Now to this situation over here, an investigation of minerals, management, service, employees, and Lake Charles, Louisiana found a widespread culture, it's culture, of accepting gifts from oil companies, including hunting and fishing trips, Christmas parties, and even free tickets to see LSU beat the University of Miami in the Peach Bowl, according to a report released this week by the Department of Interior's Inspector General. The report also found 13 employees in MMS offices in New Orleans and Lake Charles were using

federal email accounts to receive or forward pornographic images and links to pornographic videos. And at least two employees in the Lake Charles office were using drugs. Aside from that, all the actions took place before 2007, according to Acting Inspector General Mary Kendall, that's what she said. This is well before the new Interior Secretary's recent shake-up of the trouble department and the imposition of stringent new conflict of interest rules. In 2008, a similar Inspector General report found officials in the since-disbanded royalty and kind program where oil companies could pay the federal government in oil for their royalties instead of dollars. In Denver and Washington, accepted improper gifts, used cocaine and marijuana and had sexual relationships with oil and natural gas company representatives. A troubled agency, troubled. The Inspector General report adds to the growing portrait of minerals management service

as corrupted by industry, adding injury to interest industry. Many inspectors, the Inspector General, found were already friends with industry officials, some had worked in the oil and gas business before the standard government and would go back to industry again, revolving door or anyone. One official inspected four platforms owned by one company at the same time he was negotiating for a job at that firm. The result, regulations that often looked less than rigorous, except to critics of government regulation. Oh, there's an honoris. Ouch! One confidential source told investigators that service inspectors let the oil and gas companies fill out their own inspection reports in pencil, then the inspector would trace over their writing in ink. There's more, the federal agency, minerals management service repeatedly ignored warnings from government scientists about environmental risks in its push to approve energy exploration

activities quickly, according to numerous documents and interviews. Models management service officials can receive cash bonuses in the thousands of dollars based in large part on meeting federal deadlines for leasing oil and gas exploration. So they frequently changed documents and bypass legal requirements aimed at protecting the environment. This is dramatically weakened the scientific checks and offshore drilling that were established by the law. It's a war between the biologists and the engineers as Tom Campbell who worked at NOAA's as NOAA's General Counsel and President Bush. They just have a very different worldview and sometimes the engineers simply don't listen to the biologists. Interviews and documents seen by the Washington Post show numerous examples in which senior officials discounted scientific data and advice even from scientists elsewhere in the federal government that would have impeded oil and gas companies drilling offshore. This is under both the Bush and Obama administrations.

Hello. Red flags raised by scientists at NOAA and the Marine Mammal Commission and the MMC have gone unheated. Obama officials say they're taking steps to ensure that science guides drilling decisions. Formerly agency officials say such questions are rarely as simple as they seem. In 2006, then MMS biologists Jeff Childs wrote a detailed analysis of how the Exxon Valdez oil spill values had harmed generations of fish. But it's conclusion that a large oil spill is likely to result in significant adverse effects on local fish populations requiring three or more generations to recover would have forced the MMS to conduct a full environmental impact statement before auctioning off the lease in Alaska. And it approved BP's 2009 plan to start the exploratory well that's now spewing. The federal agency that oversees oil drilling MMS assumed there would be little risk of a well blowout unlikely no death to marine life if an accident were to happen.

BP estimated then the worst case of blowout would spew out 162,000 barrels of oil every day. That dwarfs the current estimates. But in its exploration plan in March 2009 BP assured the federal minerals management service, this is March 2009 current administration, that a well blowout was so unlikely that quote, a blowout scenario is not required for the operations proposed, unquote, MMS then granted BP a quote, categorical, categorical exclusion, unquote, from a public review of the potential environmental impact of the drilling. Now, you're about to hear something that I can't independently verify. It's on the internet and I would say that I recognize, I don't recognize this person by her voice, but I certainly recognize her outrage.

I've heard it in other circumstances with regard to other situations that have happened here in New Orleans. And so I present it with the caveat that it is, it, it, it, it's purports to be from a person who well knows what she's talking about. And you will hear some sensitive language, the most sensitive language of course has been bleeped out. So I don't face a $250,000 fine. But judge it accordingly, it's on the subject of booming oil spill booming school. I've been in oil and gas production and exploration for over 30 years. My salary is a little bigger than gods, which is okay because I'm more useful than he is. I'm a better cook than God is too, but let's get back on subject here, booming school. Not only is oil spill booming in large industry in the USA, teaching oil spill booming as a large industry in the USA, most of BP's production and pipeline employees in the USA have attended at least one booming school, many have attended two or three.

Most oil and gas production employees in the USA have attended booming school. Many of us have attended really good, really extensive week or two week booming schools. BP's production employees have attended the best booming schools. I know this. I've seen them there. BP's drilling folks have mostly not attended booming school. They're sometimes sent to a booming school, but they f*** off in the bar and their boss was sign off on that being okay because for drilling hands, booming is for pussies. This is a generalization, not all drilling hands think that, but most of them do, and I guarantee BP's drilling executives think that booming is for pussies, and that's if they think about booming at all, or even know what it is. That's not so shocking. In the major oil companies, there are likely a few drilling executives that don't even know what drilling is. I'm not kidding. There's good BP drilling people who would in private back me up on that. Since this is your first day of booming school, let's go over some important definitions in oil field grammar. Rope is not rope, it is f***ing rope. All of it. Every yard of rope is f***ing rope. Every section of boom is f***ing boom. You get the idea.

Generally, boom is long and bright orange or yellow, it is not bright orange or yellow, so you can see it, dear fledgling boomer, but so governors, senators, presidents, and the media can see it. It has a round floaty part that floats in a flat skirt that sinks. A rule. The floaty part never floats high enough, and the skirt never rides low enough. Some oil will always go over the boom, and some will always go under it. Our task is to minimize both. We do that by f***ing proper f***ing booming. It's f***ing obvious. Boom is not meant to contain or catch oil. Boom is meant to divert oil. Boom must always be at an angle to the prevailing wind, wave, action, or surface current. Boom at this angle must always be layered in a f***ing overlap sort of way with another string of boom. Boom must always divert oil to a catch basin or other container from where it can be removed from the f***ing area. Look, kind of involved, doesn't it? It is. But if proper f***ing booming is done properly, you can remove most by far, most of the oil from a shoreline, and you can do it day after day, week after week, month after month. You can prevent most. By far, most of the shoreline, from ever being touched by more than a few transient molecules

of oil, done f***ing properly, a week after the oil stops coming ashore, no one. Man or beast can ever tell there has been oil anywhere near that shoreline. In practice, there's a reason the best booming schools last week's. Different types of shoreline, different shapes require different configurations. Your numerous anchor points for this spill, those would be one yard cement blocks with tie-off boys. Need to be chosen so the boom tenders, you, can adjust the ropes, slanting the booms this way in that to account for changes in wind and current. Booms are tended 24-7 by the way, but just having learned what you've learned here today, you know enough of the concept to figure it out. You get it. You could go out there and watch how the ping-pong balls, your test oil, glide along the boom. You could see where they missed the catch basins, and you could adjust and reconfigure, and you could perform f***ing proper f***ing booming. By the third day of actual booming, no one on this planet looked better than you. So if you understand it, and all these production employees understand it, we're talking tens of thousands of people here, then why is most or all of the booming along the gulf being done wrong?

Great f***ing question boomer trainee, one, the booming is being run by a company that concentrates on drilling, and booming is for pussies. Production employees were not invited because they would just cause trouble. This is a drilling operation, so just f*** off. Two, there's not enough boom rope nor anchor on this planet to properly boom the northern Gulf coast of Mexico. There should be. It's not that much of an expense. Really, it's not. They said they're ready. Having enough materials to perform f***ing proper f***ing booming is part of being ready. They're not ready. Are they? Three, governors, senators, presidents, and most of all the piece of f***ing media don't know what f***ing proper f***ing booming looks like. So you can lay a single line of neon glow orange boom out parallel to the shore for miles, with anchor points every quarter mile to where a good part of it washes up onto the shore like a huge dead orange and night crawler, and they won't know the difference. Where it manages to stay off the bank, a little two-foot chop you would let your kids frolican will send all the oil either over or under it, all the oil. On the shore, in the reeds, on the beach, in the nests, oil. So what?

It's not going to make CNN send a single correspondent to booming school, is it? Now, the coast guard? They know booming. They know what f***ing proper f***ing booming looks like. Coast Guard commentant Admiral Fad Allen should be fired today. Now, this minute, before he can give another press conference echoing what BP said not five minutes before him, then he should be f***ing court-martialed and f***ing censored prison before BP can give him a god f***ing job. He's a shameless piece of f***ing. And so is President Obama if he can't see that. People who know me and how I've supported our president through thick and thin know how hard it was for me to say that. Unliterally on the verge of tears, right, this second, but I won't delete it, there it is. I couldn't find any pictures of f***ing proper f***ing booming from along the Gulf because there aren't any. No, to all media conducts, please consult actual booming experts. There are about 100. If you can't find one in time for your show tonight, you're a f***ing journalist. Now, finding one that's not afraid of BP, that might be a challenge, but you're f***ing up to it. Okay. A caveat taken and you may have seen President Obama's press conference this week in which he attempted to assert control mastery over the situation at the same time that he admitted

that he didn't know whether the head of the Minerals Management Service had been fired or resigned. But he did say the one word that sounded authoritative and commanding, and that word of course was boom. Let's take the example of boom. More equipment, more boom. Some of the allocation of boom hasn't been as nimble as it needs to be. We've deployed over 3 million feet of total boom, total boom, and today more than 100,000 feet of boom is being surged to Louisiana parishes.

This is what I wake up to in the morning, and this is what I go to bed at night thinking about. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Personally, I'm briefed every day, and I understand that pre-deploying boom would have been the right thing to do, making sure that there's boom right there in the region, more need it to be done, and more needs to be done. So what you've got is a whole bunch of boom, well, let me just make the point that I made earlier. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, so my attitude is the boom would be right there ready to grab, but that's not what I care about right now, but I care about right now is

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, right there in the region, boom, right there in the region, boom, right there in the region, boom. That's why when I went to the Republican caucus, just this week, I said to them, boom, did you plug the hole yet, daddy? What's happened to the water, a water's going bad, oceans, rivers, lakes, and a stream on knowledge? Don't go near the water

In and say What's happened to the water It's going back Don't go near the water Don't go near the water To paste soap and make up on shoes of fire So let's avoid an ecological aftermath Begin with me, begin with you Don't go near the water To do it anymore To be cool with the water Go message of this song Let's all help the water Right away

Do what we can to not Let's start today This is La Show and now news from outside the bubble Highly critical comments by a senior British army officer asked to conduct a study of the circumstances surrounding the invasion of Iraq have been suppressed on the orders of Britain's top defense officials according to the Guardian The study by Lieutenant General Chris Brown was commissioned in the light of mounting criticism of the failure to prepare properly for the invasion and its consequences

Former senior military officers and defense officials have already described their anger and frustration about the failures in damning testimony to the Chilcot inquiry Britain still conducting that inquiry into the Iraq war One of the inquiry's key objectives is to spell out the lessons that should be learned Yes, against this background the Ministry of Defense agreed to conduct its own study However, Lieutenant General Chris Brown's criticisms were so harsh they have been suppressed Following the intervention of air chief Marshall Sir Jock Sturrup, chief of the defense staff and other officials who considered them too embarrassing even for internal consumption at the Ministry of Defense The Times of London soon to go behind a paywall reports that The anti-Gay laws in Africa are the product of American religious exports

You'll have to go behind the paywall to read more about that It's just a headline that's tantalizing Other news behind the outside the bubble, international efforts to avert a full-blown crisis in the Korean peninsula were given greater urgency After a leaked UN report claimed that North Korea is defying UN sanctions and using front companies to export nuclear and missile technology to Iran, Syria and Burma Burma! The report by panelists, monitors, sanctions imposed after Pyongyang conducted nuclear weapons tests Said the regime was using shell companies, not shell, shell companies, and overseas criminal networks to export the technology On the other hand, the man who did admittedly proliferate nuclear technology and materials to Libya, North Korea, and Iran Acucon of Pakistan is a free citizen

Yes, a Pakistani court declared that on Friday and ruled that authorities cannot restrict his movements or activities within the country Because he just did with the North, you see what the news from outside the bubble ladies and gentlemen, it is a copyrighted feature of this very broadcast And now let's go back in time, we're not the Chilcot commission or anything like it, but just a wonderful report that surfaced this week on the roots of the Iraqi invasion During planning for that invasion, the CIA's Iraq Operations Group kicked around the number of ideas for discrediting Saddam Hussein in the eyes of his own people Almost create a video, purporting to show the Iraqi dictator having sex with a teenage boy, according to two former CIA officials familiar with the project It would look like it was taken by a hidden camera, said one of the former officials, very grainy, like it was a secret videotaping of a sex session The idea was then to flood Iraq with the videos, the former officials said

Another idea was to interrupt Iraqi television programming with a fake special news bulletin, an actor playing Hussein would announce that he was stepping down in favor of his hated son Uday The spy agency's Office of Technical Services collaborated on the ideas which also included inserting fake crawls messages at the bottom of the screen into Iraqi newscasts The agency actually did make a video purporting to show Osama bin Laden and his crony sitting around a campfire swinging bottles of liquor and savoring their conquests with boys The actors were drawn from, according to a CIA officer, some of us darker-skinned employees Eventually, things ground to a halt the other former officer said, because no one could come to agreement on the projects The head of the agency's Operation Division kept, quote, throwing darts at it, unquote The ideas came from people whose careers were spent in Latin America or East Asia, said the other former agency officer and didn't understand the cultural nuances of the region Saddam playing with boys would have no resonance in the Middle East, nobody cares, agreed a third former CIA official with extensive experience in the region

We always, he adds mistake our own taboos as universal when in fact they are just taboos, a US official speaking on condition of anonymity declined to confirm the accounts or to deny them Let's take that call right now. Hello, you're on the air. Hello, Mr. Sharia. Yes, hi, who is this? Who do you think calls you on the newsmaker line? Well, what? You think Sad Allen is on the phone for you, sir? No, I don't. I'm just guessing this is Shab Shab? Oh, you are a guessing now, sir. What are you, Chris Andrew for radio? Hi, I'm not a mentalist of any sort. I have no psychic powers, but I do believe this is Shab Shab. It is. Our old friend from Iraq, who once functioned as one of Saddam Hussein's more than two dozen local likes, and Shab Shab. I would tell you where I'm calling, Mr. Sharia, because otherwise you use up all my time. You are reading this story about the CIA attempt to depict Saddam as a child sex addict with the help of video.

And I'm sure Shab Shab, are you listening to this show right now over there? Yes, sir. We had this new thing called the Internet. You should look into it. In any case, Mr. Sharia, I just want you to know I was the person who performed as Saddam Hussein in those videos. I'm not proud of it. Wow. And I am ashamed of it. You're not proud of it. I don't know how I balanced those two. No, I don't either. Exactly. How did this come about, Shab Shab? The CIA knew of my work as Saddam Hussein's worker like. Yes. I was abducted in a friendly manner. I should say, no diaper used, no depository. Okay, I think. And I was taken to a secret location. And they said, here is what we want you to do. Yes. And you get out. You do it. And you get out. And you go back to selling a high-end audio equipment that being Saddam Hussein's worker like. You don't cooperate. And very low and audio equipment will be blaring in your ears for some time to come. Very persuasive argument. Yes, I know, Mr. Sharia, but my rebuttal to them was, why me? Yes.

Yes, 3032 Saddam lookalikes in business in Baghdad. Why me? And I imagine that's a question that we've all asked at one time or another. Can you try to stay with my story, Mr. Sharia? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And my neighborhood. Yeah. They said, Shab Shab, we're familiar with your work. And we know you are first where the individual, because you were a volunteer. The volunteer patterns on the BHK speakers have been noted in our books. Wow. So they. So no good deed goes unpunished, Mr. Sharia. I'm now who's waxing philosophical. So exactly what is it that they had you do? Well, they wanted me to participate in videos with children as you've read. And as you've read, they've had no budget to speak of. Right. And I said, but wait, there are people in Baghdad who will know me despite my Shabam looking like a parent. Yes.

And I cannot be in these videos with real children. This will destroy me. And so after a few weeks of blurring rock on the roll, we came to compromise. And which was what? The CIA happens to have a very extensive supply of extremely life like child mannequins. Really? All limbs movable in extreme plasticity plasticity. So why would they have these? Mr. Sharia, use your own imagination. Be you expect me to tell you. I see. The point is these were made available. And so I as Shabam was able to have these trists for assignations. As you might say, with these child mannequins who are extremely like, like, I mean, if you saw this video, it would be shocking to you, even though they're not animate objects.

Wow. And how long did the taping sessions last? Oh, straight eight hours with one hour for lunch. What are they, Union? Yes, very strange. We enough sag. Wow. Even though this was video. Yeah, that doesn't make any sense. Make any sense at all. Shab Shab, this adventure, this experience years behind you now. How do you look back on it? First of all, Mr. Sharia, it's not that far in the past. You know, it echoes with me every day. Every time I see a child mannequin. But the CIA said, no, no, don't worry. This will never be seen. These were for testing purposes only. Of course. We'll kidnap you again when we do it for real. But Mr. Sharia said to say, they were not people of their world. Wow. And these videos have leaked out to the internet via the very popular video channel here in Iraq called I-Tube. I-Tube? Is that I for Iraq? No, it's for the fact that we're all narcissists, Mr. Sharia. Yes, of course it's for Iraq.

So yes, if I'm so in cautious to go into an internet cafe where certain people predominate, I will see these videos. And the pictures will come flooding back to me because there they will be. There they are. And also, you know, in my mind, I keep hearing CIA people calling me by my code name. You had a code name. Yes, sir. It was not the only shop shop in the prison. Well, what was your code name? It's, uh, it kills me with mortification to say it. No, I can imagine. I was called the bishop. Shab, Shab, thank you so much for sharing your story with- was that it? What? There should be wearables too? No, I just- I didn't know. Uh, thank you so much for calling in on the newsmaker line. And, uh, sharing this remarkable story with a shop shop ladies and gentlemen today here on the show. I am roaming once more back to my home on the old river shore.

I am suddenly re-car away from home. Yes, the Mississippi and you. Yes, the Mississippi and you. Yes, the Mississippi and you. Yes, the Mississippi and you. Yes, the Mississippi and you. Yes, the Mississippi and you. Yes, the Mississippi and you. Yes, the Mississippi and you. Yes, the Mississippi and you. Yes, the Mississippi and you. The owner won't let it come in.

Emories are bringing the happiness of your. Miss the Mississippi and you. Yes, walking birds are singing around the cabin door. Miss the Mississippi and you. Rolling the wide world over. Always alone and blue. Longing for my home man, while the day water's short. Miss the Mississippi and you. You'll let me go. Longing for my home man.

And now ladies and gentlemen, the apologies of the week. Miss so sorry. Water levels that were dropped too low during routine maintenance of a duck pond at the University of New Mexico. I've caused dead, coy and catfish to float to the surface. The University is apologized for harming wildlife in the pond during the cleaning. Dateline Los Angeles Nation's largest Spanish language television network is apologized for a skit featuring African stereotypes that aired on a show in LA. In a statement this week, Univision apologized to viewers and anyone who was offended calling the material. Unacceptable was on the program Wake Up America. It was a parody of the upcoming World Cup soccer tournament. It showed characters in Afro Wigs clutching spears and dancing to faux jungle music. Dateline London, Britain's new coalition government faced its first major setback this week. As a senior treasury minister admitted to claiming lawmakers expenses to rent rooms and homes owned by his partner.

Chief Treasury Secretary David Laws apologized and said he would immediately pay back the money. And he has now resigned. He had kept the payments secret because he was trying to hide his homosexuality. Dateline France, 95 graves of German soldiers killed during World War I and two were vandalized this week at the Grubeviller military cemetery in France. Grubeviller cemetery is a grubevillet. Grubevillet is the resting place for French and German soldiers who fought against each other in the two world wars. Vattles destroyed and smashed crosses and monuments on the graves. French police have ordered an investigation. President Sarkozy apologized to the people of Germany in a letter addressed to the German president. A closeted gay Republican state senator in California who outed himself after a drunk driving arrest has apologized for voting against gay rights bills. I'm sorry for that said Roy Ashburn of Bakersfield. His secret was exposed in March when he was arrested for drunk and driving in Sacramento after leaving a gay nightclub. Days later he admitted to a radio host, I am gay. His sexual orientation then sparked a debate over his voting record.

He's consistently voted against gay rights bills. He's not apologized. The show host Glenn Beck has apologized for a segment on a radio program in which he made fun of President Obama's 11-year-old daughter imitating her in a childish, high-pitched voice and criticizing her intelligence. Beck issued the apology on his website after bloggers and parents objected to the tirade from Beck who was in the past argued that the media should quote, leave families alone. The started when Beck mocked Malia Obama for asking her father if he'd managed to stop oil from spilling. Beck made fun of the anecdote imitating Malia in a squeaky voice. Then he took the tirade further saying the anecdote reveals something about Malia's education. Did you plug the whole yet daddy? That's their level of education.

Canada's immigration minister apologized this week for a visa officer smear of India's security and intelligence establishment in letters rejecting Indian nationals requests to travel to Canada. India has the highest regard for India, its government institutions and processes, said immigration minister Jason Kenney. Seeing an anchor Kira Phillips had to apologize for some music containing the N-word the network aired heading into a commercial. Criticized for saying he regrets misstatements he made about his military service during the Vietnam War, Connecticut Senator Richard Blumuthal has now apologized for saying he served in Vietnam when he met during Vietnam. You don't mean in July, do you? Certainly you don't mean in July. A lucky market in San Ramon, California sold bags of almonds that contained live and dead insects, Lucky has apologized and Curry has apologized to Wheaton College for having the wrong date line during commencement last weekend. She cited evangelist Billy Graham and horror writer Wes Craven as prominent Wheaton alumni.

They attended the other Wheaton College, the Christian school in Wheaton, Illinois. And the conservative activist accused of trying to tamper with the phones and Senator Mary Landu's office pleaded guilty this week to misdemeanor charges of entering federal property. James O'Keefe apologized. The apologies of the week, ladies and gentlemen, a copyrighted feature of this broadcast. Well, that's going to conclude this week's edition of the show. The program returns next week at the same time over these same stations over NPR Worldwide throughout Europe.

The U.S. N-440 cable system in Japan around the world through the facilities of the American Forces Network up and down the east coast of North America by the shortwave giant WBCQ, the planet's 7.4 and 5 megahertz shortwave on the mighty 104 in Berlin. Around the world, via the Internet, at two different locations to live and archive whenever you want it, Harry Sheerer.com and KCRW.com. Available on your smartphone through Stitcher.com, available as a free download to members at audible.com slash the show and available as a free podcast at KCRW.com. And it'd be just like BP having plans in advance. If you'd agree to join with me then, would you? Alrighty, thank you very much. By the way, I've noticed the all-purpose excuse I'm adopting at anybody who's critical of this program. Just keep in mind, I've never done this a mile down before.

Okay, back off. A typical a show shop out of the San Diego Pittsburgh, Chicago and exile and Honolulu desks. Thanks to Pam Holstead, as always, and thanks to Jenny Lawson at WWW. I know here in New Orleans. With the air conditioning is on. And the show is on Twitter at LaTwits. The show comes to you from Century Progress, productions and originates through the facilities of KCRW, Santa Monica, community recognized around the world as the home of the homeless. So on from New Orleans.