How's the family; Life without father

I often go fishing with my my kids like to take me on picnics. Oh you mean the most. What do you like to do Peter. I don't know. Peter doesn't have a father. His parents are divorced. Family is family. Transcribe in cooperation with the State University of Iowa the National Association of educational broadcasters WIC why present. The family the family as the family. When I think of you going mother say can you see or read. You need more light. No that's

all right Peter. I'm just sort of drowsing listening to the radio. You look like a million dollars but time is a coming. You should be here pretty soon now. Are you excited mother. A woman is always excited when she sees a proposal of marriage Peter. Well you know how I feel about it. It's all up to your mom. You do whatever you think is best outride you have sacrificed yourself long enough for Mildred and me. Don't talk nonsense Peter. You make me sound like a martyr before you decide to marry him. Just make sure he knows what he's proposing. Don't take any chances. Don't let anything happen like like last time. I'd rather not talk about that perhaps many years ago. OK. How's the garden coming fine. I think I saw the character the night is coming out. It must be good if it's all the same to your mother. I just assume duck out the back door. I'm kind of in a hurry. I think I understand. Turn off the radio. Go by please. Isaac Hayes and I don't blame him. He's willing a wonderful woman. I'll see you later mother.

You don't stay out too late. Just a moment please. You're looking lovely Laura and that must be the fourth time you've said that tonight where you are that's a charming outfit. Thank you thank you. You look like you did 15 years ago. I didn't think you noticed what 15 years ago I mean would you like a cup of tea I think. No thanks. Not right now. Is Peter home. No he's gone out. I think he had a date he's quite a boy. Yes. Takes after his mother. You have been in story Center a month tomorrow are there people leaving soon trying to get rid of me. You know that isn't true. I was wondering how a man in your important position could get away from work to Salam. Have you been considering what I asked you the other night Laura. Yes.

You know it was a strange fate that brought us together again after all these years. When I boarded the plane to come to story Center it was to look into investment. I certainly had no idea I'd meet you here. I didn't know you'd moved out here and then when I walked into that office and found you sitting there typing you could have blown me over. Never believed much in fate before Mildred phoned at supper time. She said you were over to see her this morning. Yes I I dropped by to see the children again. They make a lovely family. Speaking of families let's talk about us Laura. You know it's probably hard for you to understand how a man and mice so-called position could feel alone. But it's true. Success in business means nothing more than success in business. If I knew years ago what I know now things would have been different between us. Things will be different if you marry me Laura. I love you I always have loved you and I have been so lonely.

I believe you are. Then you'll marry me first it. Well I've got to explain some things Arthur and how much we don't do I don't understand why. Well why is it so difficult. Yes yes it's very difficult. I'm a middle aged woman I think most of my life is past. Oh now you've a lot of good years ahead of you Laura. I don't mean it that way. Not everything in life can be measured in years. How well I know that now. After I got the divorce I tried living as normally as possible in the old house but it didn't work. You can't be married to a man for 16 years and not expect so that was 10 years ago let's not talk about it. I want you to marry me Laura. Now tomorrow as soon as possible. Let the past die. It's easy to say that Arthur. But you know it never does die. After the divorce I moved a story centered mostly I thought a town this size would be best for the children. Millard was 15 then and Peter was almost nine.

Finding himself without a father was hard on Peter you know. The specially hard on him when the children boasted of their dad. I remember the money first came to story Center. Peter would try to compete. My father is going to build me a playhouse in the backyard. You boys are nice to me you can play in it. Odd that for girls share boys don't hang around play houses where I come from. Oh well see that you remember what you said Peter. Anyway OB be too busy playing catch with my dad. Anyone can play catch. My dad promised to show me how to build model airplanes. Really taught me I fly when when you get it built model airplanes. That's nothing. I'm going up north with my dad this form learn to

hunt. No kidding Peter. You don't even have a gun Peter. I do so let's see it Peter. Well Dan hasn't bought me one yet but it's as good as in my hands right now. What kind of bang you know like the Cowboys use in the movies. Boy I wish my guy get me a real gun. Sure and then next summer dad's taking me out west to climb mountains. Will you send me some postcard. Peter I mean my my playhouse. I might even shoot you a mountain lion Ruthie. You can lay it on the floor. That would be wonderful. Boy you're lucky Peter. Wish my dad you things like that with me. You'll be a regular cowboy. PETER Yeah a regular cowboy. Hello Peter. What's wrong son. Nothing mom. What are you looking

so gloomy for then. Nothing if you wait a minute I'll have some fresh cookies for you. They're in the oven. Carthew after saying some for your big sister. Yes Peter can we move away from story Center. Hi Peter. What happened. I lied to the kids. I don't want them to find out. What did you say to them Peter. I told them lies about dad. I told. Why isn't dad living with us anymore mom. I had so it's hard to explain Peter some day when you're a little bit older Why. You'll understand better get our cookies or they'll be burned. Why didn't we divorced dad mom divorced Peter. What do you know about that. Did he do something bad. Tell me mom. I want to know. Remember there was times when your father went away and didn't come back for weeks and weeks.

He didn't tell me where he was going. He didn't tell any of us. Why didn't the mom. I don't know who he was too busy I guess. He came back sometime so that couldn't go on Peter. Why. Because because he had other things to do. They were where they were more important to him. He only loved us a little bit. I wouldn't think of it just that way Peter. Someday you'll understand. I better get busy with those cookies. Well it's going to be coming home pretty soon. No I imagine it was hard on Peter at first but then young people have a way of recovering in a hurry. But things got worse for him Arthur. Soon Peter's friends discovered he'd been lying to them wasn't easy for him then. Nothing is more cruel than the cruelty of children. If if you'll forgive my saying so Laura maybe if you

had explained earlier what was involved in the divorce I wanted to protect him and I didn't want Peter to think badly of his father. I can understand why. How did Mildred react to all this. She was mystified of course and shocked when she heard I was getting a divorce. She didn't realize the situation was as bad as it was. It's a great loss at first then she resented moving here to story Center having to make new friends and well when I started work Mildred had still another adjustment responsibility of caring for a little brother who's a sophomore in high school and of course the responsibility was hard on her. I remember one night in particular. It's almost a month after I began my first job. I came home about 10 o'clock and found the house. Peter Peter is that you it's me Mom Mildred who where

you been. Where's Peter. I don't know Mom it's me in bed. No he's not in bed. When I was when I left. Do you realize what time it is it's past 10:00 and Peter is not in the house I don't know where years he's wandering around outside someplace. Mildred whatever got into you to leave him alone like that. How was I to know he was going to have no business leaving me alone I haven't been out of the house one night this month that modern day and here arguing with Peter still outside last someplace is not my fault if you get a different job you can start school and talk around the empty lot. But don't stand there Mildred. Do as I say and if anything happens to Peter I'll I'll never forgive you. I wish you wouldn't pace up and down so mom. The police will find him. He couldn't have gone far. What do you know Mildred it's past midnight. If you would stay home like I told you I'd been all with Peter every night. Why was tonight an exception then. I don't know

I just felt like going over to Betty's house while other girls my age don't have to take care of their little brothers every night. Other girls your age don't have a mothers who who have to work all hours either. You don't have to let's not talk about it anymore Mildred. But let's say I don't know. I didn't hear anything. Sort of like somebody. Hi mom. Peter Peter what have you been in the garage. What in the world are you doing out there. Do you know what time it is Peter. I fell asleep I guess. Well why did you go up there in the first place. I guess I just felt like it. You you shouldn't worry me like that Peter. Are you going to divorce me. Why did you say I didn't run away like like I was going to come right back. You wouldn't divorce me would you. Oh Peter.

I just went out for a minute. But then I said downstairs thinking about daddy do all big men run away from home now. No they don't sweetheart. Why did they already then I don't know do you. You all had to do the voice me Mom I won't ever run away. Course you won't be here. Come on up. I'll take you and tuck you in a bit. I wish you'd stay home night times with me. I get kind of lonesome. Course you do darling and we will see what we can do about it. Don't you worry. You'll fix it. Come on Alice let's go to bed. For the last time Peter please get out of my room. It's my room turn but I'm trying to clean out my dresser. What's this funny thing that to me now you just march your little self

right out of here. I know you're pulling my hair khaki like all my hair out until I'm out. Oh you kicked me. Don't you hear me Mildred. The world is going on here. Mildred was pulling my hair. She was going to hit me Mother will you please get this little brat out of here. She started it she pulled my hair I want Peter out of my room. It's my wrong turn. There's been entirely too much of the scrapping lately Mildred. All I want to some privacy is bad enough you have to be in here and sleep in here without hanging around every time I want to do something. Why doesn't he go play by himself. I wasn't doing anything I wasn't doing anything to stop teasing him Mildred A Why didn't she let Mrs. Langland take him to the beach with her kids this afternoon. At least it would have gotten him out of my way for Mildred. Oh all right Lady Mary's own way. I'd like to go to the beach mom. Well when you get a little bit older dear UK shouldn't stay cooped up around the house like this on a Saturday afternoon and I'm certainly not going to take a chance on Peter's drowning nearly to home mother you've got such an imagination nation. Apparently you don't read the newspapers every day you read about children I

don't even have that mother. It's gotten to the point where Peter leaves the backyard you worry yourself to death about him. This is neither the time or the place to discuss that Mildred. All I know is that a girl your age should know better than to brawl with her little brother all the time. Brawler brawler when it comes to PD here it seems as though I should grow up in a hurry. But if I ever want to do something besides taking care of him I'm still treated like a 10 year old. Since when Mildred lots of times I doubt they all Mother please. Every time I want to go out with a boy you put me through a third degree and then when he comes to call for me you embarrass me and make him feel like to stress what not sand. It isn't nonsense at all mother you'll always have some to complain about Mildred before I got this job you complain about my working evening. Yeah and I noticed one Peter here complained you managed to find a daytime job. What am I to understand from that. I guess I know who rates around here. Peter your sister and I want to talk a moment alone when you go outside and play. Do I have to mom. Yes all right. But you hurry up and come out with me. Don't go out on the

street I'll stay close to home Peter. What's gotten into you lately Mildred. Not a thing mother. You're like a stranger to me. I don't know what's wrong it just seems as though every time we talk it's an argument. What's this Mildred. Why this picture here in your dresser drawer. Oh it's of your father. Yeah I was just saving it. You were hiding it. No I wasn't Mother. Do you miss him terribly Mildred. Sometimes we haven't discussed him much have way nothing to discuss I guess. I'll try harder to understand dear. It's just that Pierre misses his father so much he needs so much affection here and since if you are older Why. I know Mother you'll try to bear with me won't you. It's not easy you know trying to feel two pairs of shoes at the same time. I know Mother I'm glad dear.

I'm glad you understand. Do you mind if I ask you a personal question Laura. Well that depends I think why is it you didn't remarry before this. Thank Heaven you didn't. But you're an attractive woman you must have had some offers several but unfortunately my suitors never seemed very suited for the children was that the only reason Laura. I think so Arthur. More than a husband I wanted a father for Peter and Mildred. But I can tell you about one time it occurred shortly after Mildred graduated from high school. Peter was almost 12 then and he had recently joined a Boy Scout Group. Is it tonight Peter's bringing a scoutmaster home. Yes after the Scout meeting he certainly has attached himself to Mr. Carter hasn't he hits Mr. Carter this and Mr. Carter that I'm looking forward to knowing him better. You must have to be a very special kind of person to get along with all those kids the way he does. Yes a very special person. I

wonder if he's got any kids of his own. I don't even think he's married. We must be mad. No I don't think so. He certainly is attractive for a man his age. Well I like that. I'm sure he's older than you mother. I bet he's at least forty five well whatever he is. Mr. Carter's been awfully nice to Peter. Sorry mother. You mentioned a few times that you'd like to go to business school. Well now that I'm out of high school and working why don't you. Oh I don't know dear. You're young yet mother. You don't always want to be a clerk in a department store and if you get some kind of office job you'll probably be more eligible bachelors that way. I don't know what you mean you don't have to be ashamed mom. Why don't you plan on going to school. I can help pay the bills in the meantime. Well we'll see there. It's certainly something to think about. And not because of those eligible bachelors. O here come Mr. Carter And Peter up the street. How or how do I look. Fine Mildred. After he's been here a little while. Why did you take Peter out of the kitchen. I want to talk to Mr. Carter alone for a minute. Sure I

understand. You know when Peter first joined the scouts Malcolm I well I felt a little bit lonely lonely yes. Peter and I used to spend so much time together. Oh I'm not objecting it was the best thing in the world for Peter to find a good friend like you. I imagine you had no easy time of it. A boy Peter's age requires a lot of attention yes especially the kind a man can give him. There was so much I wanted to do with him but I couldn't because I was a woman. Quite frankly I don't know what I would have done if Peter hadn't met you when he did. You've been wonderful Malcolm. I'm very pleased you think so Laura. Mildred does to see if you're just saying tonight you must be a very special person to get along so well with children. Well I don't know about that. I do know I like children of my own. You see my wife has been ill with TB since

shortly after we were married. Oh. I'm sorry. Is she in a sanitarium. Yes but you'll be home soon by the end of summer I think you'll like her. She's a grand person at Mr. very much. I suppose that's why you've been so active with boys clubs more active than usual I think since she had to go away. You know it's funny Malcolm I didn't think you were married. Oh really. Why not. You've never mentioned your wife. Now that you've had any reason to it to surprise that's all. I never imagined you as a married man. Perhaps it was my baggy trousers that deceived him probably. It's it's funny the thoughts people have sometimes about other people. Well I'm sure Miller has our tea ready by now. You ready for it now. Well it was probably a lucky thing for me that this Mr. Carter was married. Did you ever suspect

that you had a more permanent relationship in mind. Well at least I never let on I gather you must have taken Mildred advice about going to business school. Yes yes we manage quite well as a matter of fact. Now that is a big help smart thing to do. We worked up to a pretty good job and I like it very much. Wouldn't you like being my wife even better. One thing more are fair. Don't keep me in suspense money sorry but that is quite in part it's important I know where I stand with you to know that's the reason I'm telling you this. Yes of course I understand. Please go on. I was shortly after I took my first office job. Mildred came in told me something that set me back on my heels. Everything all the unhappiness that I had experienced in my marriage came to my mind again when she told me her plans. She was 19 then. There was nothing I could do to stop her. I also fought very hard to control my temper. I've been getting on so very well of late. But I love a mother. I love Richard and we're going to get married this summer no matter what.

Mildred Mildred you don't know what you're doing. Richard loves me mother and I love him. Listen to me dear. I know just what you're going to say you're both so young we're both of age but marriage says there's more to it than merely being of age Mildred. You were young when you married and dad was no older than rich that's what I mean they're exactly what I mean was when we married we were both too young. Neither of us especially our father had really grown up yet. We weren't ready for marriage. It wasn't long after the wedding before we both realized it. Then why did you wait 16 years before you divorced dad. I loved him. I hope he settle down. You can't tell me the divorce had anything to do with your both being young when you were married not after 16 years. That wasn't the reason not the only one no. But. Things might have been different if we'd been older when we first started out. Don't you see Mildred when we married your father assumed responsibilities he wasn't ready for he wasn't ready to settle down yet. He wasn't all his fault.

I know that we were both unwilling to compromise and I remember just before Peter was born everything was well between you and there. Yes that's true Mildred but after Peter came. Your father got restless again. Well he was a young man the point is he never did have a chance to get both feet on the ground just because it happened to you mother doesn't mean the same thing will happen to me. Please please Mildred don't take a chance. Wait a year or so if it's to impart instead only important to put off. I don't want you to go through what I have. Richard and I have talked about it mother we're not rushing into anything. We've done a lot of planning in the last six months. I love Richard and he loves me and I hope you won't be offended mother but I've learned a lot of do's and don'ts. I won't make the same mistakes you did. I I hope not dear. I hope that everything will work out just the way you and Richard have plant. Mildred was telling me this morning that she and Dick celebrate their sixth anniversary next month.

Yes thank God I was wrong about him. Now I won't be put off any longer Laura I want you to tell me what you've decided. Will you marry me. I can't marry you again Arthur. Why not. I spend most of the evening telling you why. But all that happened years ago. You still can't face facts can you. You're still not very grown up now please. You may have forgotten how you deserted us but I haven't. You can expect me to be swept off my feet again because I have grown up. I grew up that day Peter came home and wanted to move. I grew up the night I thought he was lost but all those things are in the past no know the pain and resentment I feel toward you. Arthur are very real. They're always with me. I don't love you anymore. I'm fond of you but not enough to keep from remembering what it was like after you deserted the children and me. Couldn't we just start all over again. No no Arthur because

we have even less to start on than we did we were first married. I have a good position now Laura. But all that you say that success in business means nothing more than success in business isn't security important to you. Not anymore I think it is very important when the children were young when I didn't have it. But now you see Mildred is happily married with a family of her own. Peter has a scholarship to the university and I'm quite independent at my job. I won't take no for an answer. You'll have to I think. There's nothing I can say nothing you're not doing this just out of spite are you Laura. I'm afraid I'm not even enough in love with you to want revenge anymore I think I feel rather foolish. I don't know what to say. Just that it's all my fault. As you said before I should have started noticing you fifteen years ago. You noticed me wonderfully Once upon a time. That takes more than the fact

noticing has to grow into real loving the kind that makes you give up things happily for the ones you love. And you sell yourself short on that yourself and us. Let's not talk about it any more Arthur. Perhaps if it hadn't taken both of us so long to grow up. Let's Talk About Something More Pleasant. I don't know what it would be but how about the grandchildren. You've been seeing quite a lot of them recently. I did mention that they've taken quite a fancy to their brand. You're not uncommon on today's program as Dr. Boyd McCandless director of the Child Welfare research station at the State University of Iowa. This program illustrates the tragedy of divorce. Here we see portrayed with unusual honesty. What divorce has done to a woman her children

and their father. Certainly each of them unless possibly it is the mother appears to have done well. The daughter seems happy. The son appears normal. The father has prospered but the tremendous strain of being both mother and father of the children has thrown the mother from one extreme to another. To periodic spells of bitterness between her and her daughter to anxious overprotectiveness for the son she and the children have been redeemed by her innate honesty and her attempts to look clearly at herself and her children. The cost has been terrific the price to her has been resignation and the loss of the power to forgive and forget. We feel with the other two has suffered and we feel that intrinsically decent people such as these seem to be either on their own or with professional help. I have been able to make a better and a less painful go of it. Also the family is produced by the National Association of educational broadcasters under a grant from the

educational radio and television center consults with a series on members of the faculty of the State University of Iowa. The ice is in charge of production. Scripts are written by Fred cedar home in consultation with Dr. Margaret Joyce. James Ware is director this is the ne B network.