Exploring the child's world III; I would like to kill Pop, me, everyone

As a child grows toward maturity with or without help guidance and encouragement. And there is interest spiral outward. He may well sense the need for a considerably more satisfying human relations with his parents brothers and sisters associates teachers and neighbors. If the child has already experienced the effects of delinquency emotional disturbance dependence and neglect he may begin to realize at some point that he needs more than the security that comes with food warmth shelter clothing transportation and excitement. At some point he can be expected to sense the need not merely to avoid institutionalization but the new need to stretch for untouchable things like understanding and sympathy as products of his own outgoing understanding and sympathy. If a child who suffered deprivation or need were suddenly given a present of everything he needs to survive he would still have to consider some crucial changes in his personality reduce to a minimum these basic personality changes would in every case include his developing the ability to accept himself and others realistically. This would result in a decreased hostility

for himself and others according to a recent study by Wouldn't Duffy read it the American Psychiatric Association annual meeting recently. They felt that this acceptance of himself realistically would have a positive effect in that it would increase the individual's capacity to give love and to accept it. Secondly they felt that such an individual would begin to realize the need to develop a new constructed and realistic formula for living. Here is Father Duff a professor of sociology education university to interview a typical child who has needs that are insatiable at the moment and needs that have been traditionally sorted by those who should have fed them. Father Duffy. One of the first tests of one's maturity after he has reached the age of adolescence is that of being nice to the people he loves. A second test of maturity is the ability to accept the ones he loves as they are. We're about to hear an interview with Raymond a 14 year old boy who is in the 10th grade

in parochial school and doing average work. He lives with his father. The mother was put out of the home by the father some time ago and since then she has remarried. If I were asked to give an academic grade for the father in these three areas one understanding his son second accepting his son and third showing his son that he likes him. I would have to assign a failing grade to the father on all three counts. Similarly the boy doesn't understand his father. He says he's strange and unpredictable. The boy doesn't accept his father either nor does the boy show his father that he likes him. I would have to assign a failing grade to him in these three areas. Additional damage has been done to this boy in this that he doesn't understand himself. He doesn't like himself and he doesn't accept himself. Unfortunately I can't give a grade A failure and let the boy take the course ever again. Because life is a

thin tube with serrated edges that allow one to go forward but not backward. Raymond will have to start with what he has and he'll have to start from where he is. What you. Pray. How do you write for the tape. You still go to school. Yes but when you attend you go pro you are. Or public or parochial I think I want to go. There. What were your grades in last time. How many average. Last time. Any. Fair. And you're pretty big how tall are you. Finally. How do you get along home. That's a good. One to travel or does have a lot of arguments with my dad. Is it your regular director Mother Earth mixed up close. It's my debt real debt and you know I was definitely Do you know

how many children I'm just me. We were here before yes. How about tell me doctor it was time for a start with the first the first time that was in September. I ran away. And brought me in for. Where did it take you. You know oh. Boy if you run away houseplant back in the house blocking that out. And then a second time second time I was for stealing a car. And you really do it. I was in. You. And what happened to us for years. And they were good people suffer not driving with or without our lights. Many rise up here. And then a third a third time right retrial and you did something else in the main form and you don't some other.

Delinquent. No I was at I stayed here for two weeks and I had to return. After I stopped the car and it wasn't this time just there you know this is the fifth time. And then a fourth time I have came for plano from school and it was a business. Can run away and some. How when you get there. And get to where I just remember what you done. And what you run from my argument is on a par you're fired and he does hear what you're hearing when are you are you is it that he doesn't approve of you or what. Romo just don't agree with my days. What are some of the ones you don't agree with about me or about my friends everything I've got because I wear one out.

So I don't. Know you know be or you mean just as chasing me around bored to security. Something one time you chased me with a shotgun through a ladder out of no use to you living in a house you know what happened you might wish to get yours. The worst of worst. He married again and she married again. Yeah I mean or. You could go with her. I tried it once. They started telling me. It wouldn't be right or something I get. When I was they said he's no good comes out. So interns pretty hard to live with her father if he doesn't agree with this listen I relisten you let you get your two cents and he just argues he doesn't listen when he's mad when his manager says I want you to listen to me.

Just keep on walking because that was a way of getting nowhere. And so I think that's where and when are you going to when you get mad kill me either seriously. Yeah I mean you're married honors if you will test up inside and get my teeth and I start punching everything I say. To the Howard You're like to as well disapprove or you know because Howard when he gets mad. Every time I you maybe want to ask you one good night old or start getting mad at me as the old me doesn't make it very pleasant to live there. But well I feel what I'm what what you do where would you like to go or what you like to do. I'm no I don't have any idea. But really you know what I really want you. I don't even. Know how does that make you feel.

I rethink writing and try not to. You want the earliest thing your number when you will get what happened to you what you do the earliest thing you can think or something. I remember when I was around him my little try civil right around the block it with an upside through Iraq block NYers bakery jug I always do free for you. And. What often. Happens. I remember when I went to the open. You know. I was only 1000 years or so to three years old. But I'm about no bid either. My grandmother and her tell my grandmother died not me my dad went over to see her burial with you. Your mother was me. Even you know. She and I want to go over. And then I got together after. Now we can that. We stayed there for about two years to three years. And do

you remember did they use the firelight your mother and your mother and I used my life and sometimes I used to fight to. I had always planned to go. Running out of them but with my with her I mean. I was in for a long life Isaac's evening. And that you just walked away. I mean you know I remember and I think the night he left us. Never came back. My dad locked you out. Or something I get. What he can get along with him and you can get along with him. Do you have trouble getting along with other people. You know what I get. So look there's a lot of might be might you feel you can that you have this great with with other kids and the other. Violations that want to be you know with that I got caught for.

What are some of the when you get caught for. Getting drunk some again. If you don't drink. And. But you know what I'm like you should be drunk will be better be some excuse for the way you treat you but you're kind of you're the drinker not you that I don't want to get much as once and maybe. Find a field for a few mad out of that. And of course you know how many brothers and sisters you support you either you know they help your lot. I have. Two stepsisters. To America. Well. Are they your mother's children. EMMA. My dad was married before he married my first like myself my mother. Yeah. And. You get two kids and they got married and he was more certain than are your real mother you had she been married before. I don't know.

That you get much attention. You don't get much attention at home. You know you like criticism media attention to you. My dad used to be as light as he says I when I become a criminal. And you know he's like to be real Wayne you want a little. You tell your own kind of stories. And were you. I don't know. Don't you remember. I remember a I don't I used to fly to live. With other kids. But you think he's right are you getting more snow and you get older and you get worse. I don't even know I was I don't know how are you now. Pretty bare with her and her time when he was actually at me Hugh crying. You know I'm like you little kid. And when you think of change when you notice a change with no you know in like you know those. Kind of lies we're not I don't I don't I don't know the way things

but it's pretty easy to tell if you like you. Let me went to another way does it. Well if you know you know he probably doesn't. I only I don't have any idea. He's during a war you know what would you like from your final times and I don't know what to say I don't have any idea. Some some kids have an idea an idea. You tell him we disapprove of your ideas no. I don't how about is or is or enough excitement excitement home things are interesting or will you run is no way can I stay away from you get out of your own you can stay I was moment you can you're still waiting as much as I can avoid as many arguments as like you. So I think he's very pleasant news. You're better off here in your home.

I don't like you but you keep coming back to it. Yeah. It's really you. Know. We were in the only serious trouble. But if. You think that's about all. Of Our Lives. Well I know what your biggest fear or worry when you read ARE PEOPLE ARE things. That are darkness. And. I. Don't know what to expect of you. You know what to expect when you are you know expecting your father you know what kind of war you think you are. Every you think of it every year. We're thinking of it now. You know I can't think of anything to say when you think you're good or bad or.

Having her. Sometimes I think sometimes. I think I have a right to do certain things I do even though he tells most people think I'm bad. So that's where you start saying. What I was wondering what you thought. You sometimes I think I'm good sometimes I get mad I never get anything. You felt like killing him did you feel like killing you here. Do I kill everybody so much. Very nice. We will. Move you have what you want you wouldn't give em to me it would make you wipe yourself and the more. You would do the same as how we kids are different. I mean I think I'm insane if I didn't care. Raymond is fairly typical of many delinquent children we have observed his father

makes extravagant demands of him and plans in his mind the basis for a poor self image by constantly telling the boy that he's no good that he's becoming a criminal. That I Used To Be an angel really is well fitted to his warm suit. He does not do well in any area of interpersonal relations. Sometimes he thinks he's good. Sometimes he thinks he's bad and at other times he just doesn't think anything at all. But when he is bad he feels justified in being bad. We have noted previously that there are three basic reactions to a bad home situation. The child may fight back. He may flee. He may submit. Ray is so mixed up that he does all three of these in rotation. He lashes back at his father. He runs off away from home and school but swings back again. He submits and accepts the blame. But this makes him uncomfortable so he counter-attacks his father again and this triggers the father into pressing him harder to conform.

Though it's not clear what the boy supposed to conform to. Nor does a father lay down the acceptable pattern of behavior. Out of all this confusion in the boy's mind comes the urge he mentions that he felt many times to kill his father to kill himself to kill everybody on a previous broadcast we listened to a boy a floor and the same child again at the age of 12. We received considerable heartwarming responses to this program in particular. We decided to interview another little boy. This time we don't know how we turned out because he's still only five years old. Basically the same techniques of interviewing are followed here Ben is Jackie. How old are you. And what we going to tell me what we're going to tell me I mean you know you've got to let me ask you Do you like it here a little bit. And does everybody love you.

And I meet people what it was like and I don't have my skirt on today and make sure and I can get connected. I hardly get anything weird feeling like I live right for some right and some of them were black black. Tell me what worries you the most. My mommy you know I like it here. I get sad because YOU SERIOUS good Saturday she lives with. Are you sad to see your new side. Why did she with your wife. What if you do that you're sad to see you. Sad

you could say I'm using some time. Why wouldn't they cut her down. But when you think that I was cured you the most. I was using of you would. Think that you could ask her. I look at and that was the nicest thing ever happened here. Well when I hear that a public outcry like maybe one and what was the funniest thing ever happened. Well I can tell you I was the funniest thing ever. Yeah how come I mean when I do that so many you know improper and without. Yeah. Well OK. Like

what happened with the two hands. The economic situation Jappy and what else. Oh well. That's fine but what's. Nice is they never hear what was a nice thing. You find it hard to love people to like them. Do you find it difficult to like people. All right my money back. Do you find it in you to like big people or little people like you. Like the people I like and I like. Yeah I mean people like you what would you like to do. I actually like a meanie. You like big people and babies more than I mean I like

people if they're nice to me are much nicer do they just ignore me. I mean I think it would be nice back when you know he was when we worry the most. We can't kill much time. I talk too much. Are you smart or dumb you're smart. Are you pretty or ugly. Pretty pretty. That's right. For you. I'm likable. I'm like No I'm right. I don't like i'm not ready yet. You mean a coward. That kind of a yeah. You think you're naive or back. I think you know it. I was trying to get your self-image. You know what that me what kind of think you were.

That's what I was trying to find out. What our I was and went to where you grew up to be and want to grow up to be a human being Lady Ormont only That's what your brother said to you I wonder why you would like to be I like me. You were here. Are you bringing the dark. I love that you can. Nothing ever comes nothing after. Thank you for it. I think you're free because you know. Who you are in the whole world. Would you like. You. You

said your mommy already. Who are you and I'm an I like you. How do you know I like you. I know why right you do. How do you know I do. Why. I don't know but you can help people. But you know that's what you mean. You know we're in the capital and in Harrisburg you know what America. It's great. Do you like your not a better we're going to get are you tonight. You were. We've got him out. We want you you know it's your daddy that you work your

man I mean if you work outside say no no what you down to do or don't you know crap. Thank you. They seem pleased that they have you. You think that a child will do anything you're able to do if you like the people that are going to do it. Yes. Would you do anything that I ask you to do. I would ask you what would you mind if I told you to be in six o'clock or go to bed at 7. My my my that when we if we lived together would you go to bed at seven o'clock if I ask you to. Yeah if somebody gets you and you knew that they loved you you wouldn't want to do what.

You were going away I don't want to read when I get up. My dad you're not here and that's why you don't mind it when it's because you know that he loves you and he do it for your own good. Are you happy or sad you know. And what would it take to make you know have your own money to meet me here. You're kind of fond of her which you like. Yeah what does she do. Did she have fun. Yeah sometimes she talked to me. That's always nice you need somebody to talk to don't you talk to me. I want. You to fight with you know brother. You like me.

I get off you get 70. That's called empathy and yes. I want to see if you knew what that meant What does empathy mean. Why did that mean when he found yours and when you're happy would you like to be somebody you like. That's right but you kept the book out of her don't you know you don't know what you want to get out. I want to know General. Are you white or Negro. Or don't you know. That I have a. General. Can. Get Poppy. You're gentler than a puppy dog now and you know I want a puppy. All I want to see are you what you mean if you're a gentle boy. I have a little mini I want to talk but being here.

Why don't people have any more time to get some of you to go to bed knowing that it is not your call time here that at this time I would like to thank the staff Professor do make director announcer Mr. Frederick Williams for the technical direction in engineering. The Honorable Bennett Rogers president judge of Allegheny County Juvenile Court. Miss Ruth Green was chief probation officer and her staff. And finally the children who have helped to make these programs possible. You have been listening to exploring the child's world. A program in which the child speaks. Father Francis Duffy a professor of sociology at Duquesne University has conducted the interview with the child and to find the outlines of this world in the summary that followed. This is going to production where your services are needed as a technical direction right.

Frederick Williams your announcer has been on. This program was distributed by the national educational radio network.