How's the family; Adolescent fancy

Well the world is young lad and all the trees are green. When every good one lad and every last a queen then havior buton horse Ladden round the world away. Young blood must have its course lad and every dog has his day. Louis. Produced and transcribed in cooperation with the State University of Iowa the National Association of educational broadcasters through WSU y presents. Oh you found me. Yes I was a family own the family. Home. Come on Marianne. I don't want to have to wait for you. I'm coming. Danny hold your horses

my legs are as long as yours you leave my legs out of this or you are touchy touchy up here as you are at home what do you know. Baby sister don't say that to me Marianne hurry up Marianne don't do that Marianne don't do this Marianne. You weren't like that in our vacation last summer Danny. Maybe you weren't such a pest last year either. Don't walk so fast I want to get back to the cabin. What for you just mope around there too. Oh you know I didn't have to come walking away or going climbs the don't steam me Marianne I'm not feeling what's on my good man. When he wrote a song to youth of the line I never lost a queen. I suspect Charles Kingsley wasn't reflecting the thoughts of lads to our little sisters and tease them. But then of course there may be two sides to the story to take Mary had for instance. She is finding it hard to understand why her brother is apparently changed so suddenly. Why just last fall they often did many things together going to the movies. Since then however that he's

become aloof and secretive now he's moody and irritable. Why the change. What Ovide Dogberry had asked yourself the truth is she hasn't done anything nobody's done anything. It's just the dad he's been overtaken by adolescence. We used to have lots of fun Dan. I remember last summer when we used to go boy it's dead around here. I'm sure glad we're going home. I like it here. It's like a morgue. They don't even have a place to dance you never complained about another year you're too young you wouldn't understand why is that so. Come on I haven't got all day Marianne. Who would you dance with anyway. Shadow had a few things like dancing on but there be more kids at this resort. How about a game of shuffleboard. No thanks. I'm just trying to cheer you up. Say look look at that. Just some family moving into that cabin. Yeah well what's the matter with you. Lots of people have moved in since. Yeah nice about my age. Well let's not stand here let's finish our walk. She's a good looker too.

Real sender Sharon Derry I thought you had me. She's calling you. I don't know but I'm sure going to find out where you go and Danni what about me. Go pick yourself some wildflowers something I can help you with. Then he just ran off and left me. Was that any way for daring to treat me. Probably he was in a hurry Marianne. You can say that again. He's our pair of eyes and then he stopped and dropped the jocks on him. What a thing to say about your brother but here you have seen Danny. When this girl called he got kind of pink and they had stepped his pants and ran over to her like a draft. No boy could ever make me act that way. I wouldn't be too sure dear. He sure acted funny. You really are angry aren't you. Well Danny's been awfully mean lately.

Well it's just that Danny has other interests now. It's quite natural for a boy his age to want to have some privacy and maybe some independence from his family. And then Marianne you've teased him pretty hard about some things. Yes Danny mad at me. Why I don't think so. Then he's just more sensitive now. My mom says that he went into town to have the car chick Danny we're going home tomorrow if you haven't forgotten. I was wondering about that mom. You think we could stay a couple extra days. Why the sudden change. I just feel like staying he told me just a couple of hours ago how much I hate this place. Now I want to say all of you keep out of this I'm talking to mother I'm afraid we'll have to start back to ma bad mother right. Well you children have to get ready to start school again and your father's taken as many days as he can spare of a couple of days will make any difference. Why is it so important to stay now Danny. I don't know. I got my reasons.

It's that girl MA Do you know. Well if it isn't her then why does it. That's my business. Hi everyone I am here for the cars but as a fiddle all gassed up and raring to go. Daddy here is Randy staring now. What's that. Well I was asking mom if we couldn't stay here a couple more days Dan. I thought you were anxious to get home Danny I was but I've changed my mind. I would mind staying a couple more days myself. Then we can. I wish we could but I've got to get back to work on Monday. Flew away by the big switch Danny. Off we can stay What's the difference. I'd like to help you out Danny but then let me stay here a few days by myself. How about it mom. We didn't plan that in our budget daddy it would be pretty expensive. Well Therese days I want to stay too. Looks like you're all voted any fine feeling fine thing that's all I got to say when a feller can't even on nights. No I think I'll go out and you know I was that wouldn't be a good idea Marianne. We'll just have to wait until Danny cools off again.

Perhaps adolescence is that phase of our lives which can be described best as half and half. We expect to be treated as adults yet frequently we're still likely to behave as children because so much is happening to us in adolescence. So many changes are taking place in our bodies and minds. We don't have to understand why we react as we do creep and less apt to recognize the discrepancy between our adult expectations and our childish reactions. Adolescence for parents then is a Above all time for patients. Several months have passed now Danny and Mariane have started their fall semester and tomorrow is Daddy's birthday. I don't think I've forgotten anything Danny. All the refreshments are out here on the kitchen table. What time will you be back. About 9:30 or so. Why don't you make it 10.

Because if I said 10 you'd want to make it ten thirty. Better Kathleen's parents want her home by ten anyway damn. Yeah I suppose. Ok who else did you say is coming besides Kathleen and Benny from New Girl I've seen around but I never met or her name's Owen or something or other. I'm off. To go stand ready. He's in the living room reading the paper Marianne. I think I'll go over and pick up Kathleen now. Sure wish I could stay for your party while you don't have to be so mean about it. Let me come to your birthday party last year that was last year. You'll enjoy staying at Peggy's tonight dear. You've always enjoyed pajama parties. You might as well leave now to Marianne. Maybe Denny will carry your overnight bag. Do I have to. No but you walk right by Peggy's house on your way to Kathleen's Come on little sister. I'm coming. Brother Dee here have a good time and go to bed early now.

Yeah we were. Need we be ready to leave soon there always is. Soon as I put the cover on the sandwiches you know you're a pretty sweet Mrs. What. My mother never went to all this bother when it was my birthday. I was lucky if I even got a cake for that matter I don't remember Dad ever going to a movie so I could be alone with my friends either. Well I guess we'll have to admit we're a couple of real grandparents. Not yet he urged. Whoa did you withdraw the money for Danny's car from the bank today. Yeah hundred bucks and I'll bet he'll be surprised. He was saving his money to buy a jalopy by himself for a hundred dollars we should be able to find something a little better than a jalopy. We better get a move on. I don't think Danny would appreciate our still being here when he comes back with Kathleen. He's a pretty big man now. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. She goes you've got a nice collection of jazz Danny real crazy stuff here let's play this one next Cathy. It's our favorite Danny. OK let's see it. Now this is Connie. This is square. Danny and I like it. You like this. How big can you get. I don't know. I don't care for much anymore I guess. Danny this is modern. Nice. Here. Put this junk away ban would seem to be quite an authority on jazz Illinois right. I bet you have. Let's not talk about me. You're a good basketball player Dan. How did you

know Eleanor I had watched you practicing after school high school in the city last year. Really. I wish I'd been here I thought you liked football and sports men. Eleanor went to every football game last fall. So did Danny and I won and we didn't see either Eleanor I'm sorry you didn't dance. We were too busy watching our favorite quarterback and here did a swell job on the team. I wasn't so hot. We still finished up in third place. Do you mind if I ask a person a question and you and Kathy going steady Danny. So. What. Do I know. Danny and I are just quick Fran. Katherine may well we just known each other since we were kids that's all. What's the difference Eleanor. Oh I was just wondering. Let's dance. Yeah that's a Danny let us dance. Sure sure. Boy listen to that. That's real good on me Go man go down where you

go and Danny just on to the kitchen for a minute Kathleen. I wasn't telling you to go sweetie I know I'll be right back Eleanor. Once some help on here Danny. Thanks man I can handle it. Want to talk to you. Yeah what a bomb. About Eleanor. Yeah I brought her to this party what do you mean don't play dumb with me you been given your full approval I show you how you took her hand a couple of times you jealous. I don't think you're being fair to Cathy. Well now aren't you the golden haired boy I don't think it's right that's tough. Bounce lay off Eleanor what if I don't. Come on Danny you're my best friend and it's your birthday party let's have a good time. We were having a good time till you started hollering Cathy likes you Danny. You shouldn't ignore like that if you're so worried about Cathy why don't you keep her company. Because I came with Eleanor. That's what I figured. You don't care about a cat owners paying me more attention than you. All right for your information Benny boy I've got a

date with Eleanor tomorrow night. Sorry to cut you off like that but the best man's gotta win. Come on let's get back to the girl. All I want to do Danny is to check I know all about cars Dad you don't have to test me on yours. I'm not a kid anymore. And anyway I've got a big date tonight. Let's hurry. Boy 100 bucks. Such a swell car. I didn't know that boy better I'd say he was being pretty ungrateful now dear. You know I know mama Danny's growing up. If you really think Don he's not ready for his own car we can get him something else for his birthday. Then he probably knows more about cars than I do. I suppose it's just that I want to double check and triple check and bend over backwards to be sure. Parents can never be too sure. You wouldn't want to join us on this great car hunt. I'm afraid I'd merely irritate the experts.

After all a hundred bucks isn't going to buy Danny a limousine and well you know I guess I do to get Danny the kind of car we think he should have at the cost of ten times that. We try to be satisfied with the car he picks out and I'll do my best. Me How do my best. Yes this is a sweet little car reduced to how about that coupe over there. Well no that's another sweet little number real Darva for good tire I think probably it's a good sign and it is. Look at that upholstery homo's like new. Oh how about motors fine Yes sir. Good shape. I was looking at a truck get plenty of trunk space. How much is it. That sale price today only it cost 50. Gee The Price is Right Dad could drive around the block a few times Sure you bet sweet little car runs like a top. I think we should look around you know a little bit more. Any I'd like to have you and I want to know that. Couldn't find anything better for the price.

What I've been trying to say Danny Well a look at the collar all well will paint any kind of like the colored bright yellow. Sure are pretty snappy isn't it. Come on let's try it out Dan.. You won't be disappointed. Well your buying a dandy little car. How do you like a dad like that either. I like this. A Danny. Maybe a little less enthusiasm What are you turning here for all of our time. Sure sure went on whether or not it will be people who live along here they own Cadillac or we're not. I'm sure

you could Danny but some other time. OK what's wrong. Is there something on the sea. Ok why you keep slipping down in it. Oh no no it's nothing wrong with it. I'm just sort of stretching you suppose you could go a little faster loon. You've been restless ever since you came home from downtown dear. You know every time I close my eyes I keep seeing that yellow car oh darling it isn't that bad I keep seeing a hundred heads turning to stare. I've never wished to break the speed law as much as I did when I was driving in that car every face that stared at me looked familiar. Well many new cars are yellow diers car is not new. I swear that shade of yellow isn't capable of mass production. You'll get used to it. I hope Danny gets used to it and painted a nice dull red.

What time is it left to tan. Where was Danny going tonight. He had a date with this Eleanor. I don't know what her last name is he sure was in a hurry. He should be home pretty soon but he was in such a hurry he didn't even think about the collar. Oh now dear don't fret so. You're right. Who's ready. I merely inventing rationalizations for my son. Well all I hope is that I don't have too many nightmares would get all cars tonight. Don Don wake up. Danny's not home yet. Don't worry he will be but it's 1:30 not home. I haven't heard him come in and maybe was extra quiet. I'll get up and see if he's in his room. We're trying not to wake Maryann dear. Danny Danny. Is he there darling. You know you better go back to bed. It's not cold snowing pretty hard

out. Let's go downstairs. Don't get upset sweetheart. But Danny's never stayed out this late on just a day before. Who's they a girl Danni's with this I want to oh she's new in the neighborhood. Benny Jackson brought her to the birthday party last night. We don't know our last name. No you know how Danny hates to talk about his dates and we can't call her house. What possible reason could he after staying out this late. At least he could have called us. Maybe we haven't been firm enough with Danny. Take this car business for example I should have put my foot down I know I don't think so darling. Then why did he do these things. We try to treat him as an adult and whammo backfires. Well not very often now when we have a legitimate complaint I think he's more apt to take it to heart than if we neg daddy. Here he comes now. He just drove in the driveway. Let's go back to bed dear. We'll talk to him in the morning. Yes but I thought you know that he hatches is here now Daryn he'll get angry and we'll probably lose our tempers too.

I guess you're right. Sometimes we are high. I wonder of our kids appreciate you. You're very happy this morning Danny Boy Elinor's a swell girl peach one in a million. Must be to keep you out until 1:30 1:45 dear. What did you do Danny until a quarter to two. Well we went to the midnight show and started eleven o'clock. You should have been home by 11:30. Well how come Danny your mother and I have seldom sat down any very strict rules for you children. We've encouraged you to use your own good judgment. You do now whatever you expect and operate within certain reasonable limitations. You have plenty of freedom when you pull a stunt like you did last night and you make it hard for all of us. What do you mean dad. What's the boom boom. What. What did I do wrong. You should have told us that you were going to a midnight movie. I didn't know we were gone. Did you ever hear of a telephone. I could do that Dad why not.

Well Eleanor was with me. I didn't want her to think I was apron hooked apron hook. Yeah she didn't have to call anybody. There's nothing more squirted than I had to tell the old folks at home when you'll be landing come again with that. And besides when you're gliding along with a young lady you don't want to think that you've got your hanger on anything but her. Look I don't even know what you're talking about. It's all very fascinating but I do know this much on school nights we want you home here by 10 o'clock and on weekends by 11:30. And any time over that will be by special permission. Well for crying out loud I'm sorry Danny but until we can trust your good judgment again we'll just have to tell you when they come home. Well I don't think that's fair. Well I don't think you were very fair to your mother or me last night either. I don't lessons is not only a confusing phase for the adolescent but also for the whole family particularly for mom and dad. They must share the doubts the frustrations the inconsistency and they must try to share them sympathetically and with as much understanding as they can muster. Parents are in a unique position. Sometimes the adolescent blames them for a good tribute into

the frustration on the other hand. The adolescent seeks security from his parents. Whatever else they do during their children's adolescence mom and dad must stand by ready to offer a kind of wise hand a hand that is gentle in its firmness in spring and adolescence fencing creates even more confusion. Let's see how Danny is doing as this season approaches. Would you like another sort Eleanor. No spanks you don't want me to be big in fact and I wouldn't care that you were honest. Are you going to try out for the baseball team Danny. I don't think you would make such a good first baseman. You're so nice and taw. Not a chance whatever against first base nailed down solid fact. I didn't know where he was on the team. He looks like such a jerk is

good. Probably get elected team captain. Let's not talk about baseball Eleanor. LET'S TALK ABOUT US WHAT ABOUT US. Well now that Spring is here you know the saying in the spring a young man's Please don't be corny Danny will have some wonderful times Eleanor gone pick next powwow swimming. You're going to the spring dance with me aren't you. You asking or telling me I'm telling you. Maybe you'd better ask. Oh and I thought well we've been going steady since Christmas Day. Is that your sister where she just came in with that boy. Marianne with a boy. This I gotta see. Well I'll be. Wait until you feel none of this down. Madge and my little sister going out with the boy. Don't blow a gasket son. After all she's growing up you know you'll go to the spring dance with me baby. I won't if you stay this mushy straighten up and fly right. You better hurry Danny it's almost 7.

Although I don't know when I say Big Spring dancer. Dear when Danny comes down please try not to laugh. What's this. Well last week he went down town by himself and. But rather a law suit. Why didn't you go with him. He didn't want me to. He's gotta learn sometime I suppose. You won't all be solemn as a judge. That's probably Benny. You better hurry Danny I know that. Hi I'm Mary Ann. Holy smoke. I mean I haven't seen you for a long time. Going to the dance tonight. Hardly. Come on man. Yeah thanks. I haven't seen you for months. Going to the dance tonight you asked me that. Yeah yeah I guess I did. I don't dance. No kid it's not

hard to learn. Maybe I could come over and give you some lessons sometime. Would you ban me. Sure be happy to. You've grown Mary Ann. Oh a little bit I guess. Yeah who are you taking tonight Kathleen. My girlfriend Peggy is going maybe I'll see her there it's her first dance. I'll Benny you all set. Oh hi Dan.. Yeah I guess so. Well I'll see you later Marianne. Don't forget the dancing. Oh no no I won't. Don't you worry. What's this all about. Nothing. By Marianne you look pretty sharp there man new suit never anything kind allowed though isn't it. What are you talking about. This is first grade strong. Yeah well we better hurry and pick the girls up we're late and you know how Eleanor is. The decorations are really scrumptious aren't they Dan and.

I don't see Eleanor and Ben on the floor. You can't. There's quite I'm not dancing. Pretty hard to see. Eleanor's a funny girl. I can't figure her out. We're getting along so great a couple of weeks ago. Then bang. She's called us nice bird toward me. What happened gather How should I know you're not mad at me too are you and Danny sometimes. Sometimes you're just like a little boy. What's out me to you to know I wouldn't. Well Danny what are you talking about where's Eleanor. Eleanor is dancing with Ernie Ernie border bird. That's right. Seems to make the rounds. What do you mean. That's right Kathy. Not only that but she's just about run out of sports too. First it was me then Mr. Basketball there and now she's got a round in the cap in the baseball team. Tough bounce Danny boy sorry to cut you out like that but the best man's got to win that is the best first baseman Did you deliberately don't I didn't do anything. Eleanor asked me to dance with her so I danced with her. Then when we were dancing she asked me to introduce her to Ernie voter bird so I did. Then she asked me to come back here. Here I am.

Shall we dance Kathy I think you better sit this one out. You've been a busy boy. Why what a prize sap I am. It's nice to have some company. Boy what a sap. Don't worry Eleanor will be back when the basketball star. Oh it's not with me she won't want to bet my wood don't make any race statements to interrupt this chat but is anyone going to ask me to. Well I just did. Sure sure can. Would you like to dance. You know just a minute. Kat is my date tonight. Sorry Benito I thought best man's got to it. How do you like that. My best friend twice. Well I know this much he won't pull that stuff when I go out with his sister I bet. They're not a comment on today's program. Is Mr. Wayne VC director of the School of Social Work

at the State University of Iowa. Danny is a lucky boy. He has a couple of Weiss parents and many of us could draw some valuable lessons from the way the father and mother have dealt with the struggles of this adolescent. How has this wisdom been shown. You will recall how they made the home available for Danny's birthday how they respected his privacy how they recognized his striving for independence by letting him select the car and the suit. Although I am sure you will sympathize with the father as that apparent yellow monstrosity of a car was driven so pridefully through the best neighborhood with the scent of the wheel and the father struggling to become anonymous. You will recall that they expected a certain amount of error in Danny's behavior and how they punished him for what he did. That is staying out so late without having notified the parents rather than by giving way to exasperate with blanket punishment. These parents allow their children as much freedom as they were ready and equipped to handle. They exercise controls wisely. They

recognize the important fact that along with the adolescents need to grow to try his wings isn't a company need to have some controls a feeling of being attached to something solid. The future for Danny and Mary looks very bright and hopeful even though not without the prospect of further turmoil. The family is produced by W.S. uy undergrad from the educational radio and television center and is in charge of the production consultants for the series and members of the faculty of the State University of Iowa scripts written by Fred cedar home in consultation with Dr. Margaret Joyce James P. Where's the director. This is the NASB network.