CSAA Annual Conference: Sexual behavior and social ethics; Reel 5 Mrs. Herbert W. Haldenstern

This is not to be a formal welcome at this although we have a child study that might be glad to see each and every one of you. I thought you would like to have the various guests identified and I'm delighted to introduce them to you because it's a group of distinguished good friends of the association. Starting on your left which I believe is my ride down this way Our first person as vice president of the child study Association and chairman of our children's book Committee Mrs. Flor Strauss and will you please not applaud anybody up here until I've introduced them all to you. I'm going to skip the next person and this is going to be a skipping kind of introduction. The next lady after the skit is Mrs. Helen Souther who is one of our afternoon tennis and she as you probably all know was with the National YWCA and an expert on family life. Probably the next person is Mrs. real Mildred. Robin all of the child study staff the moderator for this afternoon program.

The next gentleman I will skip the next gentleman there is a child as yet. I thought maybe some lady had snuck in his life. The next distinguished gentleman is a vice president of the association Association's long time friend legal talent philosopher Mr. Frank keris. The next gentleman is Dr. saw sharpening or who is a psychologist who is in the department of clinical. I'm all mixed up. He is a clinical professor of psychology at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine. The next lady is Mrs. William Lee Arnstein vice president of the Association a well-known and chairman of the association's Program Committee. Next is one of our distinguished

morning speakers Dr. Morton S. Eisenberg a psychoanalyst on the faculty of the can on be a University School of Social Work. Then we have another morning Speaker Mr. William Denner who is at the Howard University in Washington and his associate professor in the School of Social Work. The next lovely lady I will skip and I will also skip the gentlemen to my right. But on my left is Mr. Algernon Black who is the leader of the New York City Ethical Society. Then comes Mrs. Dr. Mary Calderon who is the executive director of secrets and I think I know what sickness means. It is sex information and education Council of the United States. Right. The next lady is probably very well known to you all but I won't mention her name. The next gentleman is one of our speakers from the morning.

Mr. Lester Kirkland DAW who's professor of family life at Arkansas State University. We are indeed happy to have the next gentleman Congress Theodore cook from. The next gentleman again is well known and we're delighted to have him with us. No matter what head he wear It's my pleasure to introduce being James R. dumps I'm of the hunter School of Social Work there was to be a lovely lady in between Dr Dumb son and the next gentleman and she'll be back. I will tell you who she is Miss. Mrs. Catherine NGO chief of the United States Children's Bureau then comes Mr Clarke Blackburn who is the executive director of the Family Service Association of America. And we had hoped that sitting next to him would be our other part not in hard work.

Trial studies other partner. We are trio these days and project enable Mr. Whitney Young Jr. He has sent his regrets. We regret his absence more than he does. Then we have another gentleman who has on a new hat this year. Commissioner Mitchell I guess bird of the New York City welfare department. We welcome you Commissioner. The next lady we are more than privileged to have she comes from Washington and some of us have an FSA or National Urban League and CSA have had the privilege of working with her very intensively over the period of the last year. She's a lady of wisdom of great infinite patience Miss Elizabeth Ross who is a program consultant of the Office of Economic Opportunity. And the fact that our executive director Mr. 80 buck Miller sits by her so happily and pleasantly attest to the good humor the good nature and the excellence of both of these fine

people. I'm happy to present the day US to you. We have such a large program today that our plan was to introduce the day US before you were really through with your lunch. And I'm very happy to see that our good friends at the Astor are helping us as much as they have. We're grateful to them. If you'd like to pour yourself some coffee and get settled down we will proceed in about two minutes while you're pouring the coffee. Let me remind you of this the afternoon's panel will attempt to answer some of the more pressing questions which you present to us. This morning the audience was asked to write out their questions and to give the case to the ushers so that the panel could pick and

choose from the multitude of questions during luncheon should anyone have a pressing question we'll be glad to have it brought to the US so that we can use it in the afternoon session. North Korea process quickly please. Thank you very much. Yes. It was

the biggest thing from that book. Are you ready in case you don't know what the pet is. Or is your dessert. Now obviously a conference of this sort doesn't happen spontaneously. I earnestly hope that the hard work which is drawn into it only shows and the ease with which the day has progressed. For once I have my fingernails I think it's been quite smooth and quite fine. We hope you're comfortable and enjoy the

stimulation of the day. There is no one person responsible for the conference in its entirety. But as usual one person does have to carry the burden. It's my pleasure to introduce to the person who has carried the burden and I know who has the pleasure in making this conference a reality. Our chairman our board member Mrs. Tobias miss is generous. If this is fraud he and Mrs. Tobias will have to figure out just how it would be welcome. Everybody this is a very exciting moment for all of us and I would like to take this opportunity to learn an

articulate morning speakers our exciting luncheon speaker Mr. Sharon and our eminently qualified panelists who've come today to share their wisdom with us. We're very grateful and we're very happy that all of you could be here as Mrs. Horton's Dean started to say and I can echo my sentiments more fully. This is never the work of any one person. And what I would like to do now if you would bear with me for just a moment is to really think earnestly and warmly the dedicated community of board staffs and committee members who worked so hard since last August when we started today when we see the reality of all the faces. I don't have the time to single people out but I certainly should like to call attention to Mrs. Eugene. For very very wonderful job of conference arrangements and Mrs. Richard

Burson for a very creative use of more competent than I am not going to mention any other names but everybody on the committee and you have the names in front of you didn't simply super job and we're all very grateful for them. Thank you. My first association with child study was a little over 12 years ago when I came to the building as a voluntary member of the book Committee. Then as now I was remarkably impressed with the diligence and competence of the committee members. A group of women from various disciplines working dedicatedly and very conscientiously at the difficult task of evaluating classifying and reviewing the many many books that came to them. The Children's Book Committee did similarly a task on the mammoth job of the total

output of Juno books that came to me. Here are some of the most fruitful and satisfying work that I have done a child study has been in the book Committee and is a particular for me to have been chosen to present the book today as the book committees have such a very special meaning for me. Our annual awards are grown from all of these two committees to encourage writers and publishers to offer to young people more books which give them a forthright picture of the world in which they are growing up. The Children's Book Committee each year selects a book which achieves this and honors the book and its author with an award. The purpose of the suit is to call attention to the importance of offering children along with books of fantasy and fun. Some books which will also help them to a greater understanding of themselves and others in the world around them. Today our 23rd

and middle of war go to Natalie savage Carlson for her book The empty school that's it. Thank God for the 1965 Children's Book Award of the child study Association of America to Natalie savage Carlson for her book The empty school house published by Harper and Row. The story of a Negro family and their courageous stand together with the nuns of a newly integrated Louisiana school that perseverance inspires the community to appreciate its calm and stay in the lives of children. Thank you Mr. Ursula Nordstrom of Harper would you take a bow. Thank you.

Each year in the book review committee for its an award a book which increases understanding of Children and Families. This year we chose a powerful autobiography in the hope that it will challenge the community to look more searching for the strengths in young people and families living in the slums and ghettos of America and for ways to develop services that in a real way will touch the lives and change the opportunities for those who live with such overwhelming economic and social stress. Our award is to Claude Braun for his book The manchild in the Promised Land right. Mr. Goodman let us ask Mr. Rinzler the editor who worked so closely with him in the preparation of this book to accept this.

Thank you. The 1965 Family Life Book Award of the child study Association of America. To Claude Brown for his book Manchild in the Promised Land published by the Macmillan company a violent picture of what it is to be a child growing up in a world that compromises human dignity it reaches beyond this particular hall and to depict the universal search of you for understanding the meaning of life in all its harshness and your voice. Thank you. Thank you Mr Riderhood list from the publisher's friends as we all thank you and this is really something very special. This year we're giving another and a very very special award to a

very very special person for a book directed to both parents and children of the subject of today's conference. It seems eminently appropriate to half a century ago in what was then the forbidden subject of quote sex education distilled from close to close to the concerns of families and her own wisdom. Mats grew Wynberg Thank you. Let me ask you let's let you close this book was published 14 years ago and it has become a classic today as she completes her 18th year we give this special award to Sudani max number one bird and her

book Mrs. Grewe and Berg. Thank you. Thank you thank you especially the Lord of the child study Association of America district Domi Mattson or group member for her book The wonderful story of how you were born published by Doubleday and Company. Now it's this book has become a classic. It is pervaded by a feeling for the meaning of life and the continuity of generations a reflection of the author's warmth and wisdom which is to serve parents and children so little else. I'm really deeply moved by the scrubby ode to my memory is a work in this field. Several of my books have received medals and such but to be one's own family that's written. Not just

for a moment because of my advanced years I've had to reminisce not only aloud I'm supposed to and I want to take you for a moment. Fifty nine years ago the first liked sex education was given by this organization and I was then the proud mother of a three year old and I have but other earnest mothers attended this lecture. It was announced as telling your children the truth. The word sex was never mentioned. This was obviously the only truth we had ever withheld from those three girls and so we all knew what this meant and if we were her earnest and the virgin eyes maybe a lady who was steeped in nature lore homelike told us

how important it was to tell our children early that at the coolest end. And and and we were we were advised to go home think this over and then take a propitious moment preferably at sunset. It's good to take our child. I'm going to an island outside our respective labs and where the term cleaving to the roof of the information that the store was not the instrument of fate that he was supposed to be. This was supposed to enlighten them smooth adolescents and her friends were reassured and then she also added that the result would be when we tell them this that the child would throw his arms around the mother's neck and say Mother I love you more than ever now.

So we went home and we cried. Are you and being Charles that is Reba hurt. Not at all surprised that the reaction nobodies who are the arms around anybody's neck and they just bombarded us with more and more questions which we were unprepared to follow through. And so this was the beginning. And I'm Contreras thing it is meeting today but always some sophistication. It's hard to ignore when the problems with the social implications and I think it tells the story in a nutshell of what has happened to Child Study Association of America and every area that we started with the real concerns of parents and you're going on an hour on and on. And I'm a very proud mother of my four children but I'm also proud of my best this happy association that has made such a mark in the lives of its

comfort. Thank you I. Thank you so much to thank you Mr. Sethi of New York Doubleday and Company is with us today the publisher of Mrs. Grewe and birds right. Thank you all so much for coming. Since you've known stick Grunberg for a long time since you've seen her today and heard her talk with you you can well imagine what a privilege What a pleasure it has been for all of us who are on the board of staff of child study to have become. Her

friends and to really have learned from her and to have been part of her family. I think one of the reasons so many of you are here today is due to the building which she did through her many years of association with child study. We are quite a heterogeneous group. We have clergy educators social workers. We have many people from the medical and nursing professions really the only people who are missing today are the indigenous poor. And this we regret. But we do not know how to quite manage this. The only thing I can say is that their point of view is represented because child study has been working with numbers of parents of the lowest income group for many many years now and we well know that the concerns of these people whom we talk about too

often those that are aware of their concerns and ours coincide. In planning this program today women had a hope that it lists are as deliberation as background material from which they will develop a positive and a constructive way of dealing with sex and sexuality as part of the total personality. We hope that you will use this format if you wish to and will use the material that's developed at this Congress. At this conference in your own ways in your and your own agency for some years Association has worked in-depth with parents and also feel weak economic conditions and all over the country. We tried to show you the extent of our program in that outline which was given to you along with other papers when you came here today. It really is a synopsis

of our current activities in every phase of our programme. There has been a question though of parental concern about sexual behavior of the young. And this again from all parts of the nation especially were we aware of this in our work preliminary to the development of project enable. We went to many places before this project was developed in the poorest section of a border town. Mexican mothers married an unmarried middle aged and young teenagers as well brought their youngest children to the parent discussion group and talked about their fears and aspirations for the children and for themselves. They told us a lot of things they said. What is the effect on the boys becoming a man. If there is no father in the house they said We hate to think of what our girls and boys do and we

try to be very strict with their what else can we do. They said how can we keep our children from making all the mistakes we did here and from ruining their lives. Rape was committed after a social gathering at a community center. The parents clamored for more police protection but they also clamor for what to tell their children. Mothers in the slums of the Brownsville section of this city as well as those from the still sub Stockland district in Manhattan asked the same kinds of questions of our staff and they are equally at a loss as to what to tell their children this is a terrible enigma it's really the tragedy of our times. I think Mr. Dunne spoke about it this morning because children are bursting with questions with the need and the desire to talk with an understanding adult. And this child study knows first hand also just as training

nurses from the Colorado Department of Public Health to work with adolescents. Their objective is to equip these school nurses whose role is also that of guidance counselor to conduct a small ongoing discussion groups in which any subject may be discuss acne of Bay City personal hygiene sex of course the use of drugs and of course family relationships. My most recent experience which included second graders through high school and mind you this morning. Most of the remarks most of the papers most of the conversation was about college age students. This is a high school group. It was really quite startling and overwhelming and a little bit frightening. The discussions range from the old wives tales and distorted facts of life material to personal

experience of the most unbelievable extremes including the use of a popular soft drink for contraceptive purposes. The magnitude of the children's need for enlightenment in this area cannot be over emphasize. It is second only to their need for understanding themselves which as we heard this morning from Dr. Eisenberg is basic to their understanding of them are all an ethical values of adulthood itself. Fortunately the nurses were well-equipped not just to answer questions but to help these young people in their search for said Child Study trains persons from the gamut of the helping professions to use group educational approaches to work with families. One of the more important aspects of this training is to help the professional to face and deal with those possible that those inner conflicts which even these highly trained professionals

have about working with people who work there for the poor parents of children with disabilities children themselves. I'm sure you can add to the list of people who are different. In essence this is a kind of sensitivity training which involves a constant introspective looking at one's own attitude and behavior. This is essential if a worker is to affect attitude in all our behavior while changes in the people to be served. Chastity never tries to tell a client paraprofessional work about how to meet a problem or what to do but in training for leadership and parent education and in prayer groups themselves the individual is help to find his own conclusions. We cannot order another's life but with understanding and knowledge and skills there are ways in which prayer professional people can be enormously helpful. Both parents and children were searching for had their problems in the area of sex

did not seem to stand from over permissiveness on the part parents but rather from parental paralysis parents want to avoid conflict. But. More than that they do not know what to do or what to say. And you know our primary purpose is to promote sound healthy family life. We believe that families today must not be governed by the morality of the other day one based perhaps on fear and had as parental control. Rather we believe that we must help parents and children search for deeper meanings in regard to sexual behavior and sexual and social ethics. But parents themselves must first understand the meaning of adulthood and then be help to translate this meaning to their children.