Crabs; 106

And. Thank you. Margaret. I came home as fast as I could. What's the matter. I had another attack. Not again. Who supplied you with this stuff. Ted it's not. Just me. You have this weakness this craving that I can't control that all you've got to get professional help. Are you crazy. Do you think it's easy to even it meant to this. MARGARET You're not the only one. Yes I have no anybody else that's. Addicted to.

Mail. Order. I have a home there must be others come up and I see a toll free number my home body goes left. All right. Calm down. Tell me what happened. Well I was vacuuming the living room and I happened to see the mailman Margaret Zahra. Was kept down at the mailbox. That. You know you. Still didn't know then what happened. Brought. The gallows. Why. Would you order this time. Oh not that much relieved. Tell me exactly what you wanted. I made a list there on the table. It's all things we need we need a canoe. You never know. There might be a bluff. MARGARET This is crazy up space toilet seat.

Yeah I've got a toilet seat with a smiley face on it. See what it says. Place a smile when it's least expected. And be prepared for the show are both. FREE ON CALL OR. Tell us what. It's cute it's not cute to stand outside bathroom doors listening for chortles or any other sounds. What's a spoon wrist a spoon rest is a. Spoon Rest. Smoothies get tired. We need a ceramic Swan spoon rest for $18. Margaret is at the spa. Why a women like this. They fall for every doo dad in the hocks their dreams up. We don't need any of this stuff. Cancel it all. There's a few things for you. It's lunacy. It's for me at the bottom of it. Well I don't need anything at these five plays good of might come in handy. You know as a safety device. And executive fishing kit that's something I really could use but I Spermwhale weathervane. Might look it up on the ridge

pole. All right I'll let it go this time but never again Marvel never again. I made it my but he knew I should or had puter corncob holders. How is this Larry. Case. Who is this Larry. It's Rhonda.

Rhonda. Rhonda from the Fourth of July party. Oh. Larry it's Labor Day. I'm. Great. Attorney sued Serrano welcome no matter what the time of mama. That's why the Law Offices of carbon ball are here to help. Someone is trying to measure you for a paternity suit. We'll make sure it doesn't fit. The. Car can both turn up. Hello I'm Craig brush we'll be getting back to crabs in just a minute but right now it's time to ask for your support of Maryland Public Television helping us with our telephones this evening are our studio volunteers from demolition R Us wrecking company. They support Maryland Public Television. Do you.

Tonight our volunteers have suggested a little added inducement to encourage you to make that all important pledge this detonator is connected to explosives that have been planted in the home of an affluent Maryland family that has never supported Maryland Public Television. If that description fits you may I suggest that you go to your phone now when called Five five five fifty six hundred with your pledge. If we do not reach our goal of $10000 by the end of the program. Well I will pull down this plunger in someone's house. It could be yours. It will be blown away. If you are not a member of Maryland Public Television I have this suggestion. Either call us with your pledge or begin immediate evacuation. It was a cool autumn night and I was working syntax out of the grammar division. The names

talk oh Johnny talk oh. I was working at a talk. But if it be ever. Just a part of speech trying to make its way in this crummy world. Rubbed out. Before its time. Clues were scarcer than the pluperfect tense in a ransom note. But my mind kept slipping back to a dame I just been up for a loop by Dizzy redhead named Jingles I was still reeling from the smell of a perfume. But I had a job to do. I put thoughts of jingles rosy lips out of my mind and started my daily routine of conjugating irregular verbs. Somewhere among the go. Went. And gone. I saw something that turned my stomach. What goes with it. Diagram that send.

Chills. Illiterate street creeps like you are a dime a dozen. I had another collar but I didn't have the adverb killer. It was knocking at my gut like a dangling participle. Things like that bother me again. God knows. Why I haven't got anyone. The leads I had. Were as blind as a guitar player but I had. Lunch and I decided to play. You can't go in there Mr. Tucker. Sure I'm. Sure. But. Not so quick titled. That's leave now. Now we are. Told you know

where you are. That's do you know where you are. Joy. Had. To be bad. Calculators have been slowly sucking the life out of a verse for years. I had my hand. On my thoughts turned to Jamison alliteration. I couldn't wait to gaze at Jingles gorgeous gams again. As I. Tossed in the menu because I thought of her. Pursed lips. It was enough to keep me going until quitting time. But.

What. Was. That. Like. Just. By. Saying. Yes. Yes.

Yes. This is of course a scene from the controversy on new Liebowitz Nelson wedding and it's just one of the video weddings that will be revealing this week on sneak prenup jewels down the aisle from me. The bridal page associate of The Washington Post Mr. Jean Cissy and across the aisle from me the head caterer of Baltimore Hebrew Congregation

Mr. Roger eater. In addition to the label Winston Nelson fiasco the order of scene is excellent. We'll also be reviewing and exhausting Greek release from the trek and his family. And exciting for an wedding that uses animals in an unusual way. Like Roger has our first wedding up tonight Roger Not Jeanne this is an interesting story. I naive little beta release that might have escaped us entirely if it hadn't been for a persistent grandmother who sent it to us. It's a civil ceremony held recently at Glen Burnie city hall and in this scene the bride tells the groom she isn't pregnant. Is that drama or what. Jean this is the kind of rock'em sock'em action i love at weddings I've given correspondents four stars. Oh the characters are weak and psychotic. The groom is totally out of

character for a man dressed in a suit from go go or Oh I think it was overacting. I can't give this one story but Jeanne this is a simple sweet tale of Americana. I thought the group was totally spontaneous and I thought his reaction was believable. Our next wedding years is german shepherd some of the women I'm not so the guy from Glen Burnie. Oh Roger. I told you to forget about that Tris Let's move on. Oh that's so typical of you just dismissing me with the snooty comment because you work for The Washington Post and I'm just a caterer. Well let me tell you something Mr. highbrow. I've been to an awful lot of weddings. I'm one of the biggest caterers in the city and you have the lawsuits to prove it. My next wedding. Now that's real funny. At least I don't serve pop tarts and you won't call it a reception like one critic I could name who did it is very own wedding because he was too cheap to hire a pro. Oh great Do you see what your extra large belly aching has done the show zone from Canada to snob. Oh and we didn't even get to

moderate all the more sounds from your family. You're on vacation. Hundreds of miles from your parish. You're not in a state of sanctifying grace and you enter the near occasion to soon. What will you do what we did you do you carry that. That it can express card and all your prayers with yes. The Vatican Express card excepted in confessionals all over Christendom. The Sunday obligations will be met your conscience cleared and you can earn bonus days of

indulgences off your time in her to try when I would this life to ruin ya. After that I. Can from from the fabric of interest I don't need your approval. In the finest tradition of the film a masterpiece. My Dinner With Andre MGM and the American Jewish Film Federation presenting my London with Marie. What did you order. I think flank and is it fresh or frozen. I didn't ask so you got today's specials a lot. The Jewish Times calls it brilliant 85 strong work of art. So tell me how's your daughter. My daughter did.

Don't get me started on my daughter on show like me I'm sorry I was only asking. Well. I was saying from start to finish this is a motion picture of all people says Sammy Davis Jr.. Way to make the soap a little hot a place and it's not a little hot. You see only one film this year. You must see my line with Mari. No one will be seated during the last 10 minutes during the famous wrestling. Of getting. Together. Now it's my time. To think of it. I was being polite. I paid last time I paid my lunch with my right. Opening and say it is everywhere this Wednesday but for

your Tuesday. Next year. Martin Luther King's birthday becomes a national holiday. This is a very special honor and will probably be commemorated in much the same way as the birthdays of other great Americans old. Yes Dr. King had a dream and what a dream he slept on sheets from the sheets on Oh then you can. Say. That. I. Come to the sheets I was. Martin Luther King's birthday. I Days it. Kills us. It was. Clear. That of course. The chance. That. The wife was. That's not what is on. Sale in. The metro area she told me you. Knew.

Was was was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was was was it spring. Thing. Was was. Done. Stands it reads on the word was the last. Word was because.

I was. On. My. Feet. One of the words. What's. The. Point. Oh it. Was me that is bright. It all seems right and was worrying us well just. Didn't. Do. It Sue. Were. Divorced too. We are still looking for three thousand eight hundred dollars before the end of this break to make our

goal and we still have not heard from the family whose house is connected to this detonator. It could be your house. We have homely 20 seconds. Please call five five five fifty six hundred with your pledge think about Big Bird and pick up the telephone. Think about Alastair Cook National Geographic and our own Wall Street Week. Consistent excellence in television deserves sources. Especially when your house is at stake. Our time is up. Unfortunately it looks as if we'll have to make an example so that everyone knows that we're just not kidding around. Are there any phones ringing. Well then you. Why. Not. Your pledge. Little. Right. The number five on five I'm fifty six

hundred on. The right. We now present sound off in which ordinary citizens voice opinions on subjects of their choice. Yeah I got a beef. I want to know how come we got all the cells and our parking spaces 40 in the cab. You never let me just resign because some bureaucrat far as a good idea. Now we got all these Morgans bases for the handicap but there gave me wrong. I got nothing against a handicap. But all these spaces. Think about it. When was the last time you saw a handicapped person actually years in more name space. Hence maybe it's bad enough the space is there use more burns me. Is there a best space is online. You know how it is you pull into a lot you look way over to the doors. You don't see any cars so you drive over

thinking you're locked out and you get there and there's these spaces for to handicap. So what do you do. Do you drive to the back of the lot and hike through the mall or you do like me. You pull into a handicap space and limp. When you get out of the full credit you don't need to force or feel like a heel but you get over it. OK. What I want to know is where are all these teeny cat people don't day shop. Let's face it. I don't we got too many spaces or not enough. I don't tell you something else. A lot of people get those license plates roulette wheel chairs on their own little teeny cab to me they probably know somebody down at the MVA you know me at least. Terrible. They ought to have spot checks like they do with drunk drivers.

Make those people get out and skip rope or sell their new car down a third. We're all here in the cab. Some want to be gone. Really. High concept here but yes I'm going to demographics now. I don't even care much Republican we live. Here. I'm talking television ratings here and you're trying to sell me a series called brail typing. What is your question Bobby who's going to watch you. Get what you look at where they will come back with I can you top. Producers. Yeah you know. You want to see me you sir know that oh yeah yeah rush right here so I said Stay look. This program ideas I mean I got time to read all the stuff I just fly by me let's see what stays in the air. Well it's a program

about houses. Houses Yes. You mean like in ill repute how to hey I kind of like it so far. Not exactly. It's a how to program instructional if you know what I mean. Stinks. I beg your pardon. Spank. Else below you can piece look right this thing got any up Brawns any private eyes any police cars flying through the air you know any any air brains with big muscles you don't want to. What about your first look I don't hear a thing that's going to make any of your average viewers want to glom his eyeballs on you know what I'm talking about this is public television was about our responsibility as one of our most successful shows like Wall Street Week. Only young pledge brought that up. That guy with all the hair what's his name oh Roy Hayes or cattle or whatever it is. That. You're going to see what we're going to do is we're going to make him the head Shamus in a Wall Street Detective Agency see Wall Street make. Naturally all of your clients see your dollars you can't keep your hands off of his assets if you

catch my drift. That would be a violation of all sacred public television trust. Trust must rush. Look you got to start to think big Look you want are going to make public television history right here s t p m p t. IMO public television whatever. Anyway look. What I do. I'm going to put you in the capper and see I want to give you first crack at the new water so we're going to start with a comedy comedy you've heard of that haven't you rush for people watching me laugh you know. Anyway look what we're going to do is we're going to call it. Grabs and you're going to produce a crab. Yeah you can speculate on Rush. Thank you sir. Later rush. What we're going to be famous I mean public television already given the people culture to give the people education. But you and I are going to get out in history as the men who gave the public credit. And oh my god.