Le Show; 2017-12-17

From deep inside your audio device of choice 2017 the year in rebuke this week for the first time reality gets all too real and for the businessman turned president the tasks get more complicated and confusingly more simple mr. president elect now you know what's great what's that Kellyanne well now that you're going to have the official white house twitter account you can sort of let your own twitter account go on a kind of lovely hiatus Kellyanne yes sir here's your task for this week yes sir whatever you want you to deliver me the names of everyone in this operation who thinks I should stop tweeting well I'm sure all of them have your best can you do that would I have to include myself on the list if that happened to be true I'd be very disappointed in you if you didn't but there's not going to be any retaliation can you accomplish your task I

need to know yes sir great I won't tweet and we had this conversation Ivanka yes dad writes tells me we're way behind in appointing people to run the government he told me the same thing I told him to tell you good based on what he told me which I think you know here's your task for this week okay find some more people for me to point like a couple hundred or great people have their paperwork on my desk by a week from today do you think you can do that honestly of course I love honesty I'm not sure that's possible I hate to have to find you you can't time your daughter I could give you a much smaller office they're all pretty small okay how about if they're not all great people president Obama that's president elect graduation thanks that's very nice I have a task for you this week I think I'm going on a long vacation first you need to

do this oh okay I'm just going over the inauguration remarks I wrote and it looks like I trash you and Bush and Clinton a whole bunch little out of the ordinary hey I'm a change agent your task is to sit there and smile through it can you do it of course I can do it just I'll just visualize Palm Springs what about the Bush and Clinton cameras gonna be on you trust me well that's uh y'all it's asking a lot feel the smile for me to trust you but okay no teeth but no grimmies right yes mr president feels good to say that doesn't it yes it does excuse me yes it does mr president okay now right you're attached this week yes sir I mean yes mr president could your task is the speech of the CIA mr president it's your first public appearance since the festivities it's just to tamp down the potential morale problem there I know but and when they have a morale

problem they have an interesting way of dealing with it as we've seen but it's such a short speech mm-hmm just to say you're a full supporter of theirs and pay tribute to their service in an out five minute stops okay is your task mm-hmm put some things back in the notes about the size of my crowd yesterday about how the media keeps lying I didn't see any of that in there well we didn't think of your task is to put it back in can you do that including the stuff about you being an intellectual I think the CIA would like to know that smart people like smart people even the stuff about the best inaugural ball in history yeah that you can leave out everybody knows that okay can you accomplish this task in the next two hours yes I can I didn't hear you yes I can mr president new team new tasks same mission we are going to make this format right again now the world is his boardroom the president is this week on most of this country yes it's 2017 that uh is being

regarded in ranker this week unless show that part two of the year in rebuke the uh part that focuses on president trump and a two word phrase that came into the language early in the year thanks to Kellyanne Conway senior counselor to the president they said the internet ended the era of the barbed he broke his bat in game six no game five game six right here on my phone they said marriage arguments could now be settled with one click honey we couldn't have been to your folks house that weekend that was Halloween it was the leap here Halloween was a day later look see you know what they were wrong hi I'm Kellyanne the blonde you love to hate with the best news since

faith-based reality now the internet can be on your side thanks to alternative facts dot com imagine an alternative answer to any question a way to free yourself and your family and friends from the tyranny of google and Wikipedia are patented alternative facts generator engine harness this cutting edge artificial intelligence technology to produce believable fact related answers to your questions any question any time 24 7 but here's the key to why alternative facts dot com will change your life through what our data mining system already knows about you the answers are personalized to you and what you already believe in no no more embarrassment in front of friends family or employers wow your phone says game five right dude drinks on the house huh this says they skip to leap here I'm sorry I doubted you honey for any device for your

entire connected world alternative facts dot com connects you to the answers you want designed by top professionals in the field alternative facts dot com doesn't look like some scuzzy fake new site because it isn't one it's the same alternative fact generator engine used by top professionals and now their secret is yours too but don't take my word for it even though I'm being paid to not lie to you trial alternative facts dot com on a free 10 day trial we're so sure you'll want to subscribe after those 10 days we'll already sign you up what if you got to lose accept self doubt alternative facts dot com our truth will set you free this was a year when the news media focused to a remarkable degree on the tweets of the administration rather than on their let's say oh just you know for a a selected possibility the policies so tweets became front page news occupied hours and hours of airtime on the cable news channels and

um and so did one word that was tweeted apparently accidentally in the spring you know once I could fly in my plane through the sky to a place that was called cofé like some kind of dream it was champagne and cream people would call me LFA but where is it now I wrinkle my brow but I can't find my way back to cofé now people would say there's no friggin way there's a place that's so beachy and leafy

my head I would shake I'd say it's not fake and it's probably called cofé fie but was it a trap you know I look at the map there's no place called cofé fie now is too late is too much on my plate to search for a refuge so reefy the skeptics are right I gave up the fight to return to the calm of cofé fie my fantasy I have renounced my paradise is

so really trounced I don't know how the hell it's pronounced cofé fie and now the apologies of the week even so even with all this to review that's right many fans were left stunned after hearing the lyrics on bad husband a track featured on M&M's new album in the track he recalls the breakdown of his relationship with his ex-wife Kim Scott adding I'm sorry Kim more than you could ever comprehend here's the here's the couplets or the couplet because I loved you but I hated

that me and I don't want to see that side again but I'm sorry Kim more than you could ever comprehend leaving you as effing harder than sawing off a effing body limb something rhymes there don't you think for the second time in the past month former vice president Joe Biden has tried to attone for his role in the aggressive questioning of Anita Hill during the notorious 1991 congressional hearing in an interview with teen vogue yeah of course he's running for president that's why he's talking to teen vogue Biden said he regretted the way lawmakers treated the hill when she appeared before the Senate panel that he chaired to detail allegations that then Supreme Court nominee Clarence Thomas her former boss had sexually harassed her quote I wish I'd been able to do more for Anita Hill he said I owe her an apology Hill who was black was grilled by about her claims by an all white all male group of lawmakers on the Senate judiciary committee who attacked her credibility and peppered her they didn't

salt her but they peppered her with lurid questions about her encounters with Thomas the committee chairman who happened to be Joe Biden did little temper the accusatory tone in the room speaking with teen vogue editor in chief like they have more than one editor lean wealther off Biden defeated some of his actions but said he wished he would have to handle things differently I believed in Anita Hill he said my one regret is I wasn't able to tone down the attacks on her the attacks on her by some of my republican friends I mean they really went after her as much as I tried to intervene I did not have the power to gavel amount of order I tried to be like a judge and only allow a question that would be relevant to ask unquote Thomas was confirmed 52 to 48 Biden voted against him the video platform I query owned by the Chinese firm by do has pulled off the market and artificial intelligence girlfriend named vv from its

virtual reality headset after complaints that the product was demeaning to women I key has noticed the issue raised by media and already taken the product offline for further modification would like to make an apology for the concerns it might have raised it said in a statement printed by the Wall Street Journal vv was in beta testing was announced in march as a built-in AI girlfriend and virtual assistant for I key use new VR headset beyond acting as a basic voice interface it was supposed to read people's moods don't you know through emotion recognition technology that's got to be good and intelligently select and recommend movies by interacting with her users according to the journal users also praised its ability to flirt and perform sexy dances with one screenshot showing a user groping vv's breast no information whether that user was al franken after pilots grew drew genitals in the sky over eastern

washington using the contrails from their jets the u.s navy has sent a letter of apology to the okanogen washington school district the letter from vice admiral tm shoemaker was addressed to superintendent british johnson stated the u.s navy owes you your parents and your students and apology for the unacceptable obscene contrails were created by one of my aircraft on november set the sixteenth shoemaker went on to say he personally held the air crew in question fully accountable for their actions johnson posted the letter in the school districts facebook page along with a brief comment it's always encouraging he said when one's concerns have been listened to in actions taken to prevent similar incidents of course the navies apology is fully accepted and deadline will meet to north carolina and north carolina retirement community has apologized for distributing a calendar featuring a racially tinged character

character of a slave the bradley creek health center at carolina bay circulated a community calendar at the beginning of the month with the nineteen twenties christmas greeting card featuring the image of a black woman portrayed as a mami a slave who took care of white children officials of the community said they weren't aware of the image adding there was no approval process for the calendar trust the lack of process they said the calendars were immediately removed adding the thoughtless choice by one employee to use this image is not in any way a reflection of this organizations values or culture everybody's got a culture these days celebrity chef mario battale issued an apology late this week amid allegations that he touched several women inappropriately the same statement came with a post script a recipe for holiday inspired pizza dough cinnamon rolls there's a two for the confections are a fan favorite he said statement was reportedly sent to subscribers of the battale newsletter previously either had reported four women had alleged the

high profile chef and restaurant owner touched them inappropriately a behavior pattern that spanned at least twenty years three of them worked for battale the fourth worked in the industry he subsequently stepped down from daily operations of his business and he was fired by abc from its daytime program my behavior was wrong and there are no excuses I take full responsibility he wrote I will work every day to regain your respect and trust in case you're looking for a holiday inspired breakfast cinnamon buns many deemed the recipe addendum an offensive misstep in an earlier statement battale did say much of the behavior described does in fact match up with ways I've acted that behavior was wrong and there are no excuses but there are buns and deadline west burlington iowa school district in southeast iowa has apologized after disciplining student for dress code violations when she covered her head after she lost her hair during cancer treatments Chloe turpinning was fifteen was disciplined at west burlington high school for not

following the school's dress code regarding headwear she's currently in remission after five rounds of chemotherapy and fifteen days of radiation for Hodgkin's lymphoma she received permission at the beginning of the school year to cover her head until she felt comfortable she had been bullied about her hair loss at burlington high school then she transferred to west burlington where things got worse apparently despite receiving permission she was sent home last month for covering her head with her hood she then spent three days in a school office last week for wearing a beanie specifically made for cancer patients superintendent david schmitt said the school district has apologized to Chloe for its insensitive approach to dealing with her hair loss district officials also emailed Chloe an apology and a recipe for some buns the apologies the week lives in gentlemen a copyrighted feature of this broadcast 2017 the year in rebuke this week for the first time the competition gets cutthroat as ill words flyer on the boardroom and we don't mean liberal and for the businessman

turned president more than ever before words are now more than just words and less Rex yes mr. president good to be getting this face time with you sir your team's not doing well that's why you're here i thought we were making significant progress and building on the progress we made on the big trip especially in the damage control dimension you thought there was damage well this is what's killing us the negativity of all these teams Rex can i be honest with you you know there there days when i think i should just fire everybody do this job by myself and all on this to mr. Trump that's just not possible i know it's a fall in mind i hate firing people leaves nobody to blame so look Rex you have an important task this week yes sir i consider all of it important i mean really important i wanted to go out and deliver a statement that calls on our

Arab friends to cut back on the anti-katar stuff the stuff we agreed on in the Arab summit they're coming on too strong with it doing too much of a number that's what my friends tell me your guitar friends what do you wise guy by New York real estate friends if it's any of your business which would be okay even if it's not because i like you thank you sir i mean i'm going to issue a statement supporting the sanctions against guitar right after your statement well but won't that tend to confuse the Saudis as to our actual position you say that like it's a bad thing it's actually a very big part of the plan can you do it well it it puts me in a kind of awkward position that's the other part of the plan i love win win all right sir i have the staff work up something for release the next couple of hours right oh damn absolutely there's what you might call an improvisational quality at all of this it reminds me of when i was

dating and i took me as soon to be wife to the 1am show at the comedy store in Houston Sean Spiesham you're more famous than me now right oh i don't think so that that woman stopped doing me on tv it's in reruns i see it all the time i'm doing fewer briefings as we agreed it's not helping i'm still in the crapper we're winning sir nobody believes call me you know i should fire you just for telling me what you think i want to believe me but i almost had you believe again right Sean this isn't about what i believe it's about what everybody else believes what i believe is between me and my god maker lawyer you're attached this week Sean is to dummy up i don't want to hear a peep out of you this week at all can you do that well just nod yes or no good so mr trump glad to be on the theme

mark if this is a team the Yankees are a friggin conglomerate so hey welcome aboard and be what the heck do i do sorry we've been through a lot of worries two of the bankruptcies the messier of the divorces tell it to the hand look your task this week is to stop this witch hunt whatever it takes it may take you not using twitter except that that's my connection to my base can i read the tweets before you send them if you want to be in my bathroom at six in the morning sure that's a pass look so i propose as usual to honor the keys to good lawyering the three d's deny delay and denounce okay and what do i do look call me think she've got tapes the congress thinks you've got tapes so make tapes not sex tapes believe me i'm a little

you don't like to write memos don't even like to read memos so video your recollections of every meeting past and future we'll fix the date stamps this way it's not your word against his his memos against my tapes right right chief attorney general sessions we've had our disagreements right i've been with you since the beginning sir that's a long time ago this is now and i think you're hurting me well your task this week very simply it's to stop hurting me i don't know if you can do that you know i'm supposed to testify before house appropriations appropriations are nice right yes but i could testify before housing intelligence instead they'd certainly like that you know what that's your task you can do that right that's what they tell me okay this is my memo of my meeting with Jeff sessions we discussed his problems in meeting my standards of professionalism

for his office i then suggested that he proactively remove all doubts by testifying to the house intelligent committee it took some convincing but he agreed and a memo right new team new tasks same mission we're going to make memos great again now the world is his boardroom the president is it's not what you think whatever you think president trump in the spring had a reflective moment or two hard as hard as that maybe to believe and said that there were parts of his old life his life when he was just a a obnoxious real estate promoter or stake promoter or universe fake university promoter those days he missed them because he used

to be loved driving up and down whatever street you could find that you could actually drive up and down in new york city and of course now is the president he can't do that anymore i'm at the top of the heap like some kind of Yoda i push the red button someone brings me a soda you think i'd be happy there's gold rugs on the floor but the deal's going real sappy i can't drive anymore you know i accomplished so much by my one hundredth day at least that's what everyone and my staff gets to say i've ordered some bombing very light on the goal

but even that wasn't calming i can't drive anymore i can't enjoy the thrill of my foot on the gas i'm driving up medicine i'm some ass i can't cruise down the FDR my mind is one god to use twitter because i can't hog the hell out of my horn i hear hail to the jeep till it comes out of my ears i've settled my suits got in front of my

ears i thought this would be easy when i walked through the door who could have imagined and i can't drive anymore no i can't drive anymore and now he's not a general he commands no troops he's not an inspector he beats at no Oh yeah, remember the guy who shot up some folks and later turned out the Air Force had information on his criminal conviction which would prohibit him from buying guns, even

in this country, and had not, the Air Force had not, turned over that information about his conviction to the FBI so he could be included on the don't sell a gun to this guy list. Not so exceptional. The military justice system's failure to share critical information with civilian law enforcement agencies is far more rampant than initially believed according to the Pentagon's inspector general. In fact, that failure occurs in some cases nearly a third of the time. The fellow I was talking about was Devin Patrick Kelly who shot and killed 26 people in a rural Texas church last month. The Air Force subsequently found dozens of other such cases, but the problem is far more widespread according to the IG's report. It found a series of troubling things when it reviewed 2,500 cases across all four branches of the military over the past two years.

Of those, fingerprint cards were not submitted to the FBI in 24% of the cases. A final disposition report was not submitted in 31%. The military is required to submit data to the FBI when service members are convicted of a number of crimes, including drunk driving, stalking, and kidnapping. That information then goes into a federal database that's checked when somebody tries to buy a gun. The Air Force actually performed better than the Army Navy and Marines, according to the IG, the Air Force failed to submit fingerprint cards in final disposition reports in only 14% of convictions. The Navy and Marine Corps didn't submit fingerprint cards in 29% of cases. The Army, 41%, didn't end up in the FBI database. This can result in someone purchasing a weapon who shouldn't, says the IG. It can also hinder criminal investigations and potentially impact law enforcement and national security interests, it's there for troubling that many fingerprint cards remained missing.

The IG made several recommendations, boiling down to shape up, sir, news of inspectors general ladies and gentlemen, a copyrighted feature of this broadcast from Santa Monica home of the homeless, this is Lesho, experiencing the year in Rebuke, President Trump, Stylie. This week, for the first time, the businessman turned president, has turned president in the way most people understand, by bombing something, and the team members struggle, has never before, to understand who's on first. Steve, you've cleaned up nicely, spun bath, good, you've been busy, it's not easy breaking down decades of encrusted entitlement, and that's just in the White House cafeteria. I know, it may not seem like it, but I'm having my troubles too. Oh, it seems like it all right, sir, but it's not your fault, if you ask me, and I know

you didn't. This is what happens when you let the Jared Kushner's of the world take this enterprise off course. You're critical of Jared, I love him like a brother, a liberal democratic brother who is trying to destroy everything we're building here. You know, I like to hear what people have to say about how other people are doing. Right now, it's part of the format, but you also know nothing is more important to me than family. Well, except, except by here, but aside from that, you've been tasked with doing a lot of things. I'm trying my best, call this place a swamp as an insult to swamps. Good. This week, your task is to not do something. Okay. I want you to step down from the national security thing. Council?

Right. Walk away from it. Spend more time with your family. I don't have a family. Spend less time with them. You have to leave the NSC. Never went to the meetings anyway. Then it should be easy. Is this because of Jared? Steve, do I look like the kind of person who does the last thing one of his relatives tells him to do before I see you? It's me saying I'm stepping down from it, right? You, you could say you were there to watch over Mike Flynn and since he's gone, there's no more watching over to do. You can do this, right? Maybe you've ever seen me, Flinch. Maybe you just hide your flinching well, so? This is me, stepping off the NSC, unflinchably. Jared is always putting on this nice guy, Persona, which I could do if I wanted to, and of course, he's laughing a vodka, which I could also do if I wanted to.

Jared, I understand that Steve called me a cuck while I was in Iraq. I don't even know what that means. Do you care? Well, more important, Iraq under control, because Syria is a mess. Iraq's okay. I mean, I wouldn't want to live there. Guck is shorthand for cuckold conservative. Okay. Short version sounds nasty. It's supposed to. Good. The battle for Mosul is going to get nasty, it's already pretty bad. Can you keep it off the news? It's long it's serious a mess, I think, so, I mean, it's nothing I'm doing. It's just, you know, on the media. I call on the fake media, they're loving it. So look, you have a rough task this week. Oh, by the way, we've innovated a new way for the post office to sell stamps. They just update the chip in your hand. Who's got a chip in their hand? That's the next thing.

Okay. It's the deal. You and Steve have to work together. You're a team. Teams work together. That's why there's no me and team. Well, there is, but it's backward and separated by a thing. It's separated, it's not separated, whatever. Can you meet with Steve and bury the thing? You have buy-in for him? He'll do it, believe me. He's not the happiest camper in the trailer park right now. Sure. As long as he knocks off the behind the back slurs, I'm no cuck. You can work it out with him. I got TV to watch. I'll make peace with Steve easy. The next time I'm out of town and I hear about him leaking to his little alt-right pals, I'm going straight to Ivanka. Rex, big week. Yes, sir. We're bombing Syria. I heard from Jared. You know why, right? And you saw those pictures. Beautiful little babies.

Nobody told me they were doing that. I likely put it in one of your briefing books. But you didn't put the pictures in there. Next time. The pictures will be in there. Good. Now, about this China meeting. The president has been prepared and is expecting a productive day of talks. You're not talking about me. No, sir. See. Who? See. The president. I thought the president was who? That was the previous president. We arranged the briefing books with the ID in mind that you go all the way to the end. That's what she said. The president? Who? Sir, the president she is expecting a productive day of talks. She is. He is. Who? Not who she is. Okay. Look. I need you to come out at the end of all this and say, you know, the secretary of state stuff. Can you do it?

Well, that's what I signed up for. Of course, I could use some help, some assistant secretaries, and some deputy secretaries, and institutional support. Jared doesn't seem to need it. He's not running an actual department. Not yet. So, can you fulfill your task? Yes, sir. Absolutely. And good luck with President Xi. But just making sure she's a he, right? Who is? No, she is. Who is too? Okay. Fine. New team. New tasks. Same mission. We're going to make bombing great again. Now, the world is his boardroom. The president is. This week, he won't believe what happens next. The president, I trust most, Sun and law, Sun and law, he's the butter, I'm the toast,

Sun and law, Sun and law, he gives me good advice, he's cheap at half the price, he thinks my daughters, it's our nice Sun and law, Sun and law, Sun and law, Sun and law, He tries to keep me calm, Sun and law, Sun and law, Sun and law, Sun and law, Anything I need a clue, he knows just what to do, what's more, he's a Jew, Sun and law, Sun and law, Sun and law, Sun and law, Sun and law, Sun and law, Sun and law,

That's when they call me a clown, Sun and law, Sun and law, Despite his strong appeal, I didn't like the climate deal, He called me a big slum meal, Sun and law, Sun and law, Sun and law, Sun and law, Sun and law, Sun and law, Now, news of the godly, you've been hearing on this program in news of the godly segments for quite a while now about testimony before an Australian royal commission on child abuse, particularly focusing on religious organizations where child abuse took place, the commission

has finally come out with its report, Australia should introduce a law forcing religious leaders to report child abuse, forcing religious leaders to report child abuse would be a good idea, they say, including Catholic priests told of abuse in the confessional, the report detailed institutional abuse particularly in the Catholic church, one of the country's top Catholics, the Melbourne Archbishop said such a law would undermine a central tenet of Catholicism, no, not that, the sacredness of the confessional warning that any priest breaking the seal would be excommunicated, then the Canadians used to break seals, I'm getting distracted, the 17 volume document from the Royal Commission into institutional responses to child abuse marks the end of one of the world's biggest inquiries into child abuse leaves it to the government to decide whether to enact its recommendations or just to go, the five year investigation found multiple and persistent failings of institutions to keep children safe, the cultures of secrecy and cover up, and the devastating effects

child sexual abuse can have on an individual's life according to the commission, the report detailed tens of thousands of child victims saying their abusers were, quote, not a case of a few rotten apples, unquote, we will never, said the report, know the true number of survivors who reported abuse in religious institutions, more than 60 percent side of the Catholic church, which demonstrated, quote, catastrophic failures of leadership, particularly before the 1990s, according to the report. The same recommendation about reporting out of confession to authorities in cases of child abuse was made during Ireland's similar inquiry eight years ago, they passed a mandatory reporting law in 2015 to the Irish, some US states have similar requirements. The Sydney Archbishop said he was appalled by the sinful and criminal activity of some clergy, religious and lake church workers, and ashamed of the failure to respond by some

church leaders, unquote. The Australian Catholic Church paid $212 million in compensation to thousands of child abuse victims since 1980. News of the Godly Ladies and Gentlemen of Copyrighted Feature of this broadcast. 2017 The Year in Rebuke Hi, this is Paul Manafort, Chief Executive Officer of Hounds, Tooth and Driven Snow Associates. I can't come to the phone right now because I'm engaged in some perfectly legal activities, but please leave a message with your name number and if you're a foreign autocrat away, I can reach you on weekends. Thanks for calling. Hi, Paul, this is John Miller, John Baron also works for me, but this is John Miller calling, and I'm calling on behalf of President Trump, who, as you know, I know you know.

For obvious reasons, legal being only the first and best of them, the president can't talk to you right now. For one thing, he's extremely busy this weekend, drafting a very important tweet exposing LeBron James. So he's asked me to leave this message for you. Paul, all of us here at the White House know that you're under great, great pressure right now, very tough, very tough, and it's, it's from a guy I should have fired by now and not that I can because I'm only the president's special spokesperson, but still he, the president, wants you to know just how extremely highly he thinks of you these days. How terrifically grateful he is for what I lawyers now remind us is you're very, very brief involvement in last year's historic campaign, one of which we were never supposed to win according to the fake news.

There's nothing I can say on the president's behalf or anything he could say on his own behalf if he was here instead of in the other room to try to influence you, your behavior in any way, shape, or form now or in any universe yet to be discovered. I read that, but and I guess this thing is going to keep recording, which is so good because I hate to have to redial this call, you know, everything goes through the Swiss point now, which is a whole other thing, thanks to the great general Kelly, who by the way is one of the great generals ever, but so Paul, we know Corrupt, Bob Muller, wants to flip you or flop you word ever, the lawyers call it, I don't know, the president talks to the lawyers, I don't. And maybe it's a good idea, maybe you did something in a little bit on the shady side with some investors or some dictators years ago.

Who knows? So they sent you to some country club jail for a year or two, and I hear them in a security federal prison, so they're almost as nice as some of the non-Trump hotels, frankly. And then, you know, some good things could happen, but obviously Paul, you know as well as I do that whatever you say, good things could happen, but because that's life, bad things could happen too, you know, all the time, look at the Caribbean. So look, I have more spokesman stuff to do. If you want to talk, call Sarah's office, ask for John Bannon, that's him, Bannon, I mean Miller, and I can't say what do we need, because of course only the president can say that, right? I mean, who knows what that guy will say, it's amazing. Anyway, Paul, think it over, remember, co-op Mueller could still get fired, you know, so maybe you don't want to make a deal with a guy who's not there in tomorrow, right?

Believe me. Okay, Paul, great leaving a message for you, have the most wonderful day ever. And of course, when the attempt to repeal and replace the Affordable Care Act, what better known as Obamacare failed multiple times, the president disparate of working cooperatively for a while with the Republican leadership in Congress, and turned instead to some new friends, Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer. This week, for the first time, a pivot for the ages, and for the businessman to achieve executive, a chance to give the losing team a surprising win. Chuck, Nancy, welcome back, well, the boydroom looks great. Better than the one at JP Morgan Chase. I wouldn't know, Chuck Wood, here too made an excellent deal with me.

Listen, what an opportunity arises to do something for our country while ramming a rusty bayonet up the past areas of our Republican friends. You just got to take it. That's him talking New York again. Oh, I know. I love New York talk. It reminds me of New York. Looks to look. Your team is doing good. We are getting some flak from our friends in the so-called resistance. But look at the coverage, great coverage, the best coverage. Even morning Joe loves this. I do think Rachel Maddow is planning to do a whole show attacking us. Yeah. You know what a problem is. She's probably just not getting enough rug. Nancy, don't look at me like that. Chuck will explain to you later. Now look. Your team has a big task this week. Maybe the biggest ever. Nancy, you think Chuck is up to it? I certainly do. He told me he thinks she would tough all grandma.

How take it? I didn't really say that. So he's a deal. All the fake news think I'm now tilting your way. Chuck, I've given up on Paul and Mitch, which by the way I have believed me. And my base thinks I gave you something for nothing. Which I did. Nancy with the tweet, which I love. So now I need your team to cave on something. Maybe even something big. Can you do it? His president, we're not in the business of caving. We're Democrats. How about getting rid of the consumer financial regulator thing? Well, certainly we could craft the position, we take into account that changing realities of the financial world since the recent hurricanes. Something like that. No guarantee we could sell that to all of our members. You know, I've always found that guarantees are for losers. So what do you think this team Chuck and Nancy up to the task? Oh, we're up to it all right.

But I've found that promises are for losers, too. So Donald, you got through. I need to get through more often. Ever since General Kelly set up shop time to get through to you and to get an antitrust exemption in Britain. Hey, you and the general shouldn't fight. You told my favorite kinds of people, military and rich. Now listen, your task this week should be an easy one. Look, I'm not complaining. A lot of your other friends don't have staff who can hack the White House switchboard. That's your task. I know that Levin and I kind of my other guys are getting blacked by Kelly. But they can talk to you and you can get through to me. That's your task, be the, you know, the go between the transmission belt for other people's ideas. That's asking a lot from someone in my line of work. Look, you don't have to take it on.

You can disappoint me and still be on my team. You can be like Gary Cohn or you can really be on my team. You can be like Roy Cohn. You know the news channels behind you, you're aware of that. And I'm aware your ratings are good. They'd be in the toilet otherwise. What do you think would happen if I tweeted I didn't watch Fox and Friends anymore? They'd be paying Steve Doosey to talk to himself. I'll make you a deal. I'll be a conduit for your friends. But you've got to convince General Kelly to let the Hannity back in once in a while. And he doesn't have to see you or anything. Just so he can say he's been at the White House, he's been so morose. I don't like deals, Robert. I can tell you that. But if you can succeed in your task, I might just make an exception. Mitch. Mr. President, no hard feelings. Speak for yourself. Thanks for not bringing Paul. He's hard at work on a new healthcare bill.

Good. Never too late, except now. So look, Mitch, you know, your team let us down. Interesting. You should say that, Mr. President, we feel the same way. Do you think your team let you down? No, I mean... Whatever. Look, you know, I think you're blowing is he, right? Well, I happen to hail from the part of the country where we take our time letting folks know what's on our mind. Great. I'm sleeping already. Meanwhile, my phone number is a sagging where's the Dalai pot and spra. So look, your team has a big task this week. Well, sir, we're facing some pretty stiff headwinds since that deal you made with the Democrat. So get your people to get it and send me something I can sign about wood in particular. About signing in particular, about winning, you're the senator, you figure out what it's about. Can you do it? Because I don't like firing people. Man, you can't fire me.

Right. So? I'll talk to Paul. That's what I was afraid of. Get out of here. And slow. New team, new tasks, same mission. We're going to make pivoting great again. Now, the world is his boardroom. The president is, this week, reality was never this improvised. Hi, you've reached Jack Dorsey at Twitter. I'd love to engage with you right now, but busy engaging with the other company that run Square that may actually make a profit someday. So do me a solid and reach out via voicemail at the sound of the tweet. Thanks. And don't forget to DM me, too. We said beep. Jack. Whoever you got to listen to these messages and get through to you, listen, I know what it's like if I could use the screen mine before they think it's done. It's done.

I'd say done who, but you know who is just your best customers all. I'm going to put your platform on the front page every single day with no help I might add from any of the terrific people in your company, mainly because I don't need to help. Look, you and I both know nothing's been better for your brand than my tweeting with the possible exception of Kanye hooking up with the Kardashian girl, which by the way, many people tell me that whole thing is a PR deal is coming to a crashing end. But look, the last thing I want to do is waste the time of the head of Twitter with stupid gossip. Here's the deal, Jack. I don't have to tell you how many millions of Twitter followers I have. You've got the data. You're not an idiot. Now, forget about Facebook. They're like McDonald's and Twitter is like the sad little food truck with the artisan cheese on its burgers, but so many people have told me that Snapchat has now pulled ahead of Twitter and total followers, which to me is like you're being decimated. It's a disaster and you know I like your service. I use it two, three dozen times a day, whatever I have, what I call a long john and I love

it. Twitter, that is. I hate wasting all that time on the crapper. If I could just take a pill and never have to do that again, anyway, look, I don't want to take my 18 million followers or whatever number over the Snapchat. It's not my thing, but you know, look, you're a businessman. I'm a businessman. I mean, I'm president now, but still, is this machine going to keep recording? Anyway, you know how all the states are giving incentives for movie companies to go make movies or TV shows in these states is horrible. And I hate it. But really, Jack, if you're smart, that's the sort of deal you should be doing with your power users. And I have to say, am I the power user of all power users or what, right? So, okay, I don't want to do a heavy number on you believe me. I love Twitter. I want to keep tweeting. So it's just a simple question. It's my staying on Twitter, worth to you, worth to Twitter, and to my 18, about whatever million followers.

I mean, it's a question. We have people who have figured it out at our end. We can share that data with you. Don, Jr., can get it over to you. Just make sure there are any Russians in your office. Is that a witch under what? Look, I'm very reachable. I hate to go over the Snapchat. It's horrible service. There are interfaces at the Zest. And here's the thing. All the money would go to Don's charity to save the elephant because they're disappearing before he could even shoot them. So it's for a good cause. And every time the failing media, who were just collapsing like Obamacare, every time they mentioned my name, and they were tweeting the same sentence, it's gotta be worth something to somebody. That's what Moot says. This is his ideas that don't blame me. But look, you're a smart person. You know what to do. You don't want to piss off the frigging president of the United frigging states, right? Because nobody needs to hear failing Twitter every day, believe me. Hey, let's make this happen. This isn't healthcare. This really is easy. All right. Please hang this up for me, honey. I have. Well, ladies and gentlemen, that concludes two weeks of looking back at 2017, looking ahead just a few days next.

While the 22nd and 23rd of this month at the Le Petite Theater in the French Quarter in New Orleans, Christmas without tears, New Orleans style with a panoply of New Orleans artists all to help New Orleans musicians and the homeless. Judith Owen and I will be there, and so many others will, too, maybe you, if you're in the Crescent City. In the meantime, that's going to do it for this week's edition of La Show. The program it turns next, we get the same time, over your favorite audio device of choice. And we just like 2018, focusing a little less on President Trump, if you'd agree to join with me that. Would you already thank you very much, uh-huh? Thank you very much. The

progress productions that originates through the facilities of WWW and on New Orleans flagship station of the change is easy radio network. So long, from the home of the homeless.