Le Show; 2009-01-11

from deep inside your radio. Well, ladies, gentlemen, we are in grave, grave danger. Far be it for me. Dick Cheney is going on all the act shows now saying we're safe. We've kept America safe for seven years. Wasn't there seven years after the World Trade Center was attacked in 1993 when we were attacked again. So I guess Clinton kept us safe for two. Anyway, we are in such danger today. Dateline Yemen. The attorney for Osama bin Laden's former driver says his client has been released from a Yemeni prison after serving his sentence. Salim Ahmed Hamdan was released Friday. Oh, God. We've been unsafe for two whole days. His driver, ladies and gentlemen, first guy to get a trial at Gitmo has to be the worst of the worst. Osama's driver. You see what I'm saying?

He can be driven again. A Yemeni interior ministry official confirmed the release but said it happened Saturday. These people cannot be trusted. He spoke on condition of anonymity. The reason for the discrepancy was unclear. Hamdan had already served five years and a month at Gitmo when he was sentenced to five and a half years. Convenient. All right. I'm scared. I don't know about you. I'm scared. Osama's driver is loose. What are these Yemenis doing? And now, ladies and gentlemen. High death, low death, no death, take my hand. These are digital wonderland. Got to be so careful where you stand. In the digital wonderland. Well, so much about the digital wonderland, of course, as that deadline of switching off analog TV approaches. From Dan, Harry, here's some more news about the digital debacle.

I've noticed for the past few months that the picture on my local TV channels, CBS, NBC, et cetera. That's right. The simpsis is on, et cetera. Has not been coming in properly. The left and right edges have been cropped. It's gotten to the point where nightly news anchors heads are cut off. You insert your joke here. As are the network logos and tickers at the bottom of the screen when I complained to my cable company about the problem, they informed me that it was a result of their preparations for the digital conversion. Apparently, they have devised a decidedly low tech solution for the transmission of local channels. Basically, they are taking the new digital feed and are reconverting it to analog and then retransmit it via the old antenna. The only problem is the digital to analog conversion process results in a picture that is not properly sized. All this I was told was meant to avoid chaos. Come February, I was further informed the only way to solve the problem would be to buy a new digital TV. Dear Harry, Colin writes, I was once a digital skeptic like yourself and viewed the coming change with something akin to horror.

Not being one to turn down a partial tax refund, however, I signed up for a digital coupon and boy has my outlook changed. I live in Hilly, Pittsburgh, and fuzzy reception has always been a problem. Now, however, the channels are sharp and clear when they come in at all. This is due in no small part to my powered antenna, which once tuned provides crystal clear reception, at least until the weather changes, the TV is turned off or someone is rude enough to move. Because of this, it is often necessary to turn the antenna and re-brun the channel scan during a given show each time wondering whether we'll get the channel back. Reception aside, digital has opened me up to a world of new channels. I get one all Christian rock channel, two full time weather feeds, the home shopping network, and the retro television network. Matthew writes, like many I applied for coupons, offered by the government to subsidize the purchase of a digital converter box for my television. I received the stated two coupons valued at $40 each, and after confirming that they still had some in stock went to my local circuit city to pick up my unit. They had one listed at $59.99. When I went to check out, I was told I could only redeem one coupon per unit and would have to pay the difference out of my own pocket. I spent several minutes arguing with the manager.

As at no point in the literature that accompanied the coupons, is there a stipulation director or otherwise stating that they cannot be used in conjunction with one another. The manager was not swayed by this argument. I don't plan to take this lying down. I'm writing to the agency overseeing the program to demand reimbursement for my funds. Joel writes, I find your remarks on DTV spot on. I only wish I could get to the stage of frustration with boxes, but as yet I have yet to receive the coupons I ordered from DTV Answers back in September. I don't even have a box. I was told first they were delayed in the mail and then told probably lost in the mail and that they, DTV Answers, were not responsible, nor would they reissue coupons. At their site's recommendation, I found a family member who has cable and would not need their coupons or reordered coupons through their name and was met with the same results. I'm curious as to how happy will the media outlets be the 30 to 40 percent of their market share will cease to tune in on February 17th. Well, maybe, maybe not.

You do know, because several of you wrote in to point out that the digital TV converter box coupons, not only in short supply, they've run out. The agency responsible for sending them out has run out of money. And the chairman of the Federal Communications Commission has now responded to the Obama administrations or pre administrations suggestion that the delay that the digital switchover be delayed because of all the confusion. FCC chairman Kevin Martin at a meeting about the digital cock up. Says despite the fact that a dozen people complained to him that coupons had expired after 90 days before they could purchase converters and the government will not reissue coupons for the same address. Martin recommends that those needing coupons ask a friend neighbor a relative who don't need the converters to apply for coupons for them.

Find someone else to apply and get them for you. They are fairly transferable. Says one who tried it. The neighbor was required to lie about needing coupons for his own home. That's not right to make you falsify an application. The person asked Martin Kevin Martin head of the FCC agreed but said that's what the coupon agency is telling people to do. They're saying it's okay. I'm here to tell you it's okay. Lie to the government. The FCC head says to do so and he also says it's important to make sure that the converter box program gets on track and that the switchover not be delayed because it could cause confusion to customers. Like this. Yeah, I know. There is a continuing problem with lip sync problems. We've come now 53, 54 years, 55 years in the history of television in America and finally we've reached the wonderland where audio and video are more often than not out of sync.

Says one technical blogger. He said from experts around the country that the lip sync melody is one of the dirty little secrets of digital television that the industry has failed or refused to address. Nick Johnson of Feltsten lip fix technology in South Carolina has a business in fixing it. So apparently it's enough of a problem. In reality, there's no single culprit responsible for lip sync error can start an image capture and creep in at every point within the broadcast chain where there is digital image processing potentially delaying a video more than audio. There's a research paper on it at Stanford University and says another tech blogger, the available digital converter boxes are confusing to many viewers. They get everything hooked up right. Many people will find that their reception under the digital regime is unacceptable due to coverage variations and differing antenna requirements.

The antenna configurations were not designed for digital signals and in whole strips of America's rural fringe areas are going to lose signals even with new antennas. Tom Olibone of teletruth went to customers homes in Hunterton County, New Jersey to do real world testing, which was not done by the agency that mandated the original switch over. He found that in that rural New Jersey County, 100% of New York TV channels were not available, even though those rural residents live in theoretically the New York metropolitan area. And the Hawaii desk advises that that power outage over Christmas fried the digital converter box. It is a digital Wonderland. Hello, welcome to the show. A new day is coming.

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But the condition was that the final resting place was never publicly revealed and that Australia would never again make a cleanup request. So we dumped it. Now, you may have heard this, they'd like to lead Ohio, a new reporter joins the reporters who can't cover the Gaza fighting because they're not allowed in, but he will be covering another angle. Joe the plumber became a household name during the presidential campaign says he's heading to Israel as a war correspondent for the conservative website pajamasTV.com. Samuel J. Wartselbacher, Joe the plumber to you and me says he'll spend 10 days covering the fighting, although the fighting isn't in Israel. He'll be covering the fighting from a place where it isn't occurring. He tells WNWO TV in Toledo that he wants to let Israel's average Joe's share their story.

So he doesn't have a plumbing license, but he does now have a press pass. In case you have your doubts about the guy, do we Gordon? Formerly the boy band, boys are us. Can explain it all to you. If you need to know how much tax you owe, go west, go to the plumber! If you're wondering how to make your income grow, go west, go to the plumber! If you've got questions about the size of the debt, or how come only banks got the safety net? If your query hasn't been answered yet, you've got to answer to the plumber! Joe, Joe, Joe, he's the one in the know, taking all of your gripes, but don't let it work on your pipes!

Joe, the plumber, loons about as large as a hammer, wish I'd known him back last summer, Joe the plumber! If you've been stealing over how the climate's doing, go west, go to the plumber! If you'd like to stop all those lawyers suing, go west, go to the plumber! If your TV isn't getting HD, you want to see paid movies for free! Don't call Time Warner, or NBC!

Just call Joe the plumber! Joe, Joe, Joe, he's the star of the show, feel free to tap into his brains! Just don't let him work on your dreams! Joe, the plumber, if he's in a band, he's a drummer, makes Obama's pay, and Obama, Joe the plumber! If you never knew why the sky is blue, go west, go to the plumber! Or whatever happened to, to live crew, go west, go to the plumber! He's the average Joe, but with carbon cents, calling on the phone or need over his fence, can you write him off? As a physicist expense, just as Joe the plumber!

Joe, Joe, Joe, he's the guy in the very last row, he'll always make you think, just don't let him near your sink! Joe, the plumber, zooms about as large as a farmer, we shall known him back last summer, Joe the plumber! Just as Joe the plumber, Joe the plumber! Let's jump in FEMA still at it, federal disaster aid officials acknowledge this week they made a huge error when they reported to the Galveston City Council that about 400 million dollars have been spent to house residents displaced by Hurricane Ike in hotels, actual bill is closer to 29 million, said FEMA spokeswoman Bettina Hutchings, nobody did math till y'all did!

I didn't make that up. And for those in the Los Angeles or Southern California area, a week from Monday night, January 19th, the probably the final live performance of Song to the Bushman, the Bye-Bye Bushman version, at the Largo with the Coronet in Hollywood. I'll be there, with the high-value detainees. And I hope they bring their orange jumpsuits, they're the best, they're the best treated high-value detainees we've got. Ladies and gentlemen, that concludes this week's edition of the show, the program returns next week at the same time over the same stations of our NPR Worldwide throughout Europe, the US and 440 cable system in Japan, around the world to the facilities of the American Forces Network, up and down the East Coast of North America via the shortwave giant WBCQ, the Plan at 7.415 Becker-Hurt shortwave, on the mighty 104 in Berlin, not on XMR Series satellite radio, told you the merger was a good idea. Available as a free download at www.audible.com slash the show, available on your computer whenever you wanted at two different locations live and archived via the internet, around the world, hairyshear.com and KCRW.com, and available as a free podcast at KCRW.com.

And it'd be just like serious and XM unmerging if you'd agree to join with me then. We'll do already thank you very much, huh? The email address for this broadcast and the playlist of the music heard here on, available at the always evolving, hairyshear.com. A tip of the Lachoshoppo to the San Diego Chicago Pittsburgh and Hawaii desks and thanks as always to Pam Hallstead. This is subscriber-supported 89.9 KCRW Santa Monica KCRI Indio Palm Springs, KCRU Oxnard Ventura, KCRY Mojave Adlo Valley, KCRW's Handpicked Music and NPR News,

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